Dragon Friends - Special: Freezen - A Dragon Friends Christmas Musical (Act 1)

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

It's Yulemas time again, and two very non-canonical cousins are brought together to celebrate the true meaning of Yulemas...through song Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, me. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE This year has been a piece of shit No matter how you look at it With fires and corona And Trump, what a cunt

But Yuma's time is magical With episodes non-canonical It's a really good rhyme So let's end this year with a bang And pretend none of it's canon This year's not canon. This episode is also not canon. And if I scat, it's not skip. Oh my goodness. Is that Eden and Simon? Yes, we're here. Your Christmas DMs. I had to move out my girlfriend's place. Watched nine seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race

Even though this year was totally busted At least all the time that I spend with my children means they'll be really well adjusted That's not counted No, they will be The time with your kids is not count- Oh my goodness, is that Ben and Alex? And a one, two I watched a show called Tiger King They said he was a monster but he's no Michael Hing I tried to grow a lockdown beard But it turns out I can't grow a beard

That's not canon You can't grow a beard That's not canon Oh my goodness, King and Dave This year's been really sad So I moved back with my mum and dad I've actually got a couple of questions Because you say it's not canon But we've got a kind of humorous continuity thing going on

And my question is That's not canon but we've got a kind of humorous continuity thing going on and my question is... That's not canon, sit down there, that's not canon. It's easy to laugh, but if I need to know, it's important that I understand. That's not canon. One more. That's not canon. Oh boy. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Tom Carty. It's not canon. Oh, boy.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tom Carty. Woo! Our sweet baby Christmas boy. Boy, oh, boy. Here we all are. You say you're going to do a musical, and you think it'll be fine, and then you it and you realize that it's gonna be great yeah ladies and gentlemen please take your expectations uh-huh and just put them under your seat all right who wants to play some motherfucking Dungeons and Dragons

it is Yulma's time in a very non-canonical kingdom, in a faraway land, in a small ducal realm, two cousins sit in line for the ancestral throne. The cousin lords Frisopherson, Friso and Frojo. Each the other's constant companion since birth. Picture, if you will, two snowflakes as they whirl around each other in the sky. Two absolutely perfect frozen fractals descending slowly, identical to each other as we all know snowflakes to be. They both land softly into thick, luxurious, silky blue eyebrows, as I said that out loud, I don't know why I wrote it,

of the high elf known as Friso. As he stomps out across the terrace through a fresh blanket of morning snow towards his cousin Froyo, his brow furrowed in a question as he starts to sing. Do you want to kill a human? To rock incisions in the sky And send a witch bolt shooting through Electric shocks of blue that make a human die We could also use a fireball Or a magic sword

Or simply remove his spine Do you want to kill a human? It doesn't have to be a human Okay, dude? Okay, fine I just think we need to take this more seriously. Do you want to take a chill pill? Your blood is filled with hate.

No, it's not. Or is it come, I'll never know. Look, I don't want to know. Regardless, it's not great. Just listen to the music that swirls all around Life is a wondrous song Why do we need to kill a human? Friso, please don't kill a human

Hey, what's wrong? Friso, please, I really need this To do a murder? Yes, I do But dude, that's crook Listen, look, the other option is I could kill you But Froyos, I'm your cousin And I love to sing

Well, that might make it more fun. I really want to kill a human. Please just let me kill a human. Okay, just one. The two cousins pause in their duet to frolic playfully in the snow

in a montage that includes some light tobogganing, the taking of a human life and the building of a snowman. But in the midst of the gaiety, Friso jolts to a halt, recalling the ancient laws of this land, a very salient plot point that forbid singing. He turns to his cousin and sings with no sense of irony. Throw your hearsome exposition. You know that singing's not allowed.

Just push that impulse deep inside. The law can't be defied. We shouldn't sing out loud But it surges up inside me How could song be wrong? Such a jolly and jaunty jive And no one's here except this snowman Who's gonna snitch on us, this snowman?

I don't think so I'm alive. I'm alive. And it seems that your singing has brought this snowman to life, whose name is... Frozen Donut. What? Do you want a second? Frozen Donut. What? Do you want a second?

Frozen Donut, okay. So how does this Frozen Donut sound exactly? He sounds a bit like this. He goes, oh, holy bloody dooly, I'm alive! Donut by name, but Dugnut by nature. This is a character that has literally just been brought to life by musical, magical energy that, Froyo, I don't think you know that you had

in this land where singing otherwise is completely forbidden. Look, I told you this was a bad idea. Look what's happened. Well, maybe this snowman's a friend. You had to get me all excited and seduce me with that talk of singing. Did you say seduce you? Well, I mean... I mean... We're not those kinds of cousins.

I mean, step-cousins maybe, but this is not what we're here for. Friso, I think you know that I mean seduction in the sense of making me do something that's against the law. Really? Because it didn't sound like that's what you... Oh, this snowman's talking. Hello, frozen donut. Ah! Oh, I just surprised myself. I'm very new to basically everything, you know? Hang on.

Wait, have you been alive this whole time? No, you just... Boop! So you just woke up now? Yeah, I suppose. It's a bit of a metaphysical question what I was doing before this. So you don't know what day it is, where you are. What's the day? Wait, but he knows

the concept of something that's metaphysical? Now the thing is that this, the magic that has brought this, and the thing that he knows, the one thing that Frozen Donut knows, is the magic that he's brought into life. Which is this very

powerful, primal, ancient musical magic. So he's very in tune with that. He feels it. He feels it. He feels it. He feels it coursing through his icy bones. I got bones? Mush.

No, not as such. That's so upsetting. He has bones? A snowman with bones. No, no, no. Not unless you put them there. Okay, the corpse of the man Friso killed is inside the snowman with bones. No, no, no. Not unless you put them there. Okay, the corpse of the man Friso killed is inside the snowman. So yes, you have bones and you feel it there.

Just to be clear, your name is Frozen Donut. Your name is not like James O'Loughlin or whatever, okay? Did you kill James O'Loughlin? Did you kill fantasy James O'Loughlin? Is James O'Loughlin a real person in real life? Doesn't he host the new inventors? Well, not anymore, he doesn't. Look, your name is Frozen Donut.

You've never been James O'Loughlin. You're a snowman, you're not a real man. Does that make sense to you? Yes, it makes sense to me. Oh, gosh, I was just brought to life by the most beautiful thing. That would have been me. Oh, gosh, I was just brought to life by the most beautiful singing. That would have been me. Oh, goodness. Well, let me just shake your hand with my twig.

I can really feel the bones. With all the commotion that's going on out on the terrace, your old pal Filge appears, brought outside by the hubbub. What's all the racket? We didn't kill anyone. Well, there just seemed to be a lot of blood on the snow, and I just swept this snow. So just to be clear, me, Froyo and Frizo,

live in a castle with Filge and the host of The Inventors, James McLaughlin. The new inventors. Now, has anyone seen James O'Laughlin? Because we have a new invention we want to show here. A snowball made out of the stuff that cliffs are made out of. A ball of dirt? Yeah, but harder.

Ironically, that's how he died. Hey, that sounds amazing. Bear in mind that I've never seen anything before. Filge, you feel in this place a surge of magical power like you haven't felt before. So I'd like you to roll a wisdom check. DC 20. That's high.

I got a six. Well, as you feel the magic course through you, the power of song takes over, and you burst into song about this concept of hard dirt that you want to show James O'Loughlin about. James O'Loughlin Have I got a new invention for you It is just like dirt but more compact

It is just like dirt but more compact You could use it in a bag or a sack It's really hard, it isn't soft I'd like you to pay me for it so I can buy a loft. Me gonna call it rock. Oh yeah. Me gonna call it rock. Oh yeah. Alex Lee, ladies and gentlemen, and Mr Tom Carty.

James? You are shocked, Phil, by the power of this song which is taking over you. What happened? My mouth makes sound go up and down. That was beautiful. And I want you to imagine that as he was saying... His head comes off his body and it whizzes around. Absolutely. Knew it.

Nailed it there. You sure you haven't seen the movie? So it is the Yulmus time of year and the reason Phil to come out is that she needs to finish her Yulmus shopping. So she makes a suggestion. Guys, why don't we take this down to the Yulmus markets? Yeah, me gotta finish.

Me doing traditional Orc-themed Christmas this year. So me gotta go and buy pig hoofs for the soup. And also, you know, we gotta get the decorations made out of entrails. So me hoping the market not out of that. Wait, so the decorations for an Orc Christmas is just entrails strewn around? Yeah, like tinsel. Okay. And pig hoof soup, don't forget.

Pig hoof soup. Sure, sure, sure. And of course, the traditional giving of the teeth. Talk me through that one. Well, everyone gets a tooth. Young and old. Everyone wakes up in the morning with a tooth under their pillow and then they put it into one of the holes in their gums and to see if it

fits and if it fits that means you're the Christmas hawk. As Phil finishes explaining this wonderful Yuletide tradition, you find yourself arriving at the edge of the local hamlet. Yeah, the Yulmus markets are buzzing, awash with the colours and smells that mark the season. Amidst the painted oranges, entrails, teeth,

pig hooves and roasting chestnuts, we even see two old friends, Baston and Bobby, who have gone halfsies on the rent on a market store. I'm the best at making children's toys out of wood. Get your children's toys here. And I am selling

meaningful poems. Are you? Yep. You're selling meaningful poems? Deep, dark, meaningful poems. How much would a meaningful poem set Are you? Yep. You're selling meaningful poems? Deep, dark, meaningful poems. How much would a meaningful poem set you back? Does it come printed on anything? I write it with a quill right here.

Oh, I would very much like to hear one of these meaningful poems. Unfortunately, there's not time, said the narrator. No, no, no. Wait, wait. He's already paid. I took the money for it. Here, read it out to him as well.

He paid that extra amount. Yeah, this is about a snowman, this poem, who just woke up today, who doesn't know what days of the week are, but does know about the concept of metaphysics. That's what this poem's about, Bobby. And don't get lost in the narrative, too. It's got to mean something, you know?

Sure, sure, sure. Oh, and just do it. It doesn't have to be strict. Just loose anapestic tetramin is fine. Fuck you guys. It's just you guys are... Okay. It's not to music, it's a poem, you dick.

Who did he yell that to? The busker next to me. A globe, a mind, a sphere. What is it? Round and frosty in the sky. Where is thought? Where is life? Who am I?

Just some snow guy. The end. Wow. It's got a lot of functional ambiguity. That is his best yet. Wow, poetry sounds pointless. Frozen donut. And the best thing is you hear one poem. You've basically heard them all.

This is probably the most people. This is definitely the most people you've ever seen. This is like blowing your tiny little mind. Not just the poem, but like the colours, the sights, the sounds, everything around you. What are you honing in on? I am slightly unnerved that a dice just landed on my table. You'll see something that's easy to rhyme.

Well, I don't see the orange cart. But it's right in front of you. And Filch goes, look, that man's selling things that are purple. I didn't know

you could buy aubergine here. I see, I see Bastogne making all those little figurines and things that I've never seen before.

He's making things out of wood. Please make a wisdom saving throw. DC, one million. You can pass if you roll a 20, Mr. Snowman. I rolled an 18. Oh, sorry.

That doesn't do it. Sorry, it doesn't quite cut it. Wait, is it constitution? No, it's wisdom. And you've just been born. What, you have a plus million to constitution? You're a being of... It pays to check.

You're a being of magical energy, so you're particularly susceptible. Okay. And you feel this surge of raw musical energy. I was told I would not have to do this. Push up. Push up through you. You're lied to. As you sing about the toys in the market around you

Hey, what have we got here? I think it's some wooden things I don't know what they are There's a big thing with four legs I think I'll call it a fart. There's a thing that is a long thing. I think I'll call it a bingity ding. There's a thing with a big squeaky nose and a piggy little bum.

I'll call it a ho. There's a little tiny man who I know what that is because I can remember from before when I met a man I think that guy is called Bastard.

That is my name. Wow. Look, I'll thank you to keep it down. We don't want any trouble around here, all right? Why would there be trouble with these beautiful wares? And he points to a sign above the store which says, No singing allowed.

It's the law. Why would the law be to not sing? You may as well tell people not to breathe or not to drive too fast. Somebody roll a perception check. Oh,

this character, because he's in his first phases of life, is a libertarian. I got a 19 Okay, Filge, you see Coming down the alley Swinging menacingly and jauntily At the same time, a cudgel A small bearded man

But like stocky and like Muscular Hello, hello, hello, what do we have here I think I heard Some singing around here and we ain't going to have that in my town, is we? No. Are you police?

Yeah, that's me, Constable Dadbot. I loved you in... Constable? I loved you in The Boys, by the way. Oh, thank you very much. Yes, Constable Dadbot, you heard right. Now, who do I hear singing around here? It was the snowman.

It was the snowman. The snowman sing. Take the snowman away. I also think the snowman killed someone. If you look inside him, you'll find a lot of bones. Now, don't be ridiculous. I never heard a snowman sing in my life. I reckon it was someone who was animate as opposed to...

Yeah, because... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Fuck. Here I was thinking you were inanimate and it turns out you are the opposite of that. And here I was thinking that I'd found something called a friend when I'd actually found something called a hingy-bingy. I believe that's what I called a snake before. Who is responsible for this animated inanimate object?

Pixar. Secondarily, James O'Loughlin. Alright, which one of you is Pixar and or James O'Loughlin? James O'Loughlin's not been here for a while. He had to go away. He had to skip town, man. Bad debts, Bad gambling debts. Yeah.

Well, that may be. But I'm here to police singing in this town. Look, off the dad board, I didn't realise that singing wasn't allowed. So you admit it. Well, I admit it insofar as I think it's just the most wonderful, incredible, amazing thing a person can do. Well, that is not what I believe. And he boffs you over the head with a cudgel

and you are in combat. Combat. Combat is happening right now. Combat is the beginning of a thing that we do. Combat is happening right now This man has a club and he's gonna kill you What? Are you listening to the music I'm playing at all?

Nah Nah, I wasn't You practiced so much for the accompanying of this I got overtaken by the power of combat, alright? I'm sorry That sounded a lot like singing to me Um, oh yeah, that's true That was not in media res

Well, well, well, well Don't tell no... Oh, that's true. That was not in media res. Well, well, well, well. Don't tell no... Oh, something's coming over me. He swings at you and misses. Froyo, you are up. Alright, I'm going to cast a firebolt at him. Okay.

His armour class is 11. Ah, well I rolled an 11. Oh, is that enough to hit? Oh, well done. Thanks, Mum Oh, is that enough to hit? Oh, no. Thanks, Mum! Thank God Dave's Mum's here. From a long line of nerds, this man. A proud and noble tradition, I get 7 points of damage.

Oh, he is hurt. He's like, Ah! Fuck! Um, and Phil... Stay away from the snowman I've decided is my friend. You betrayed me. You called me a flimble flam and I felt bad about it. I'm sorry. Phil, you are up as two more thugs jump out.

Phil enters into a rage due to the hypocritical application of police force. And she attacks him two times with her maul and she gets, what's your armor class? 11. Yeah, I hit you twice. Oh my jeebus. And I do 9 plus 9 damage. So you're like musicals, do you? What?

18 damage. What's happening now is essentially a D20-based combat system. Yeah. He is brutally wounded and slumps down to one knee. Freezo, you... Does he count as prone? No, he's not prone, but a man swings at you first. What's your armour class? 14. He whacks you over the dick,

doing nine points of damage And it is now your turn Wow, I guess Freeza's going to kill a cop Shit, alright Acapulacabra Imagine I got that right This is the sort of stuff that gets cut out of the podcast It's the behind the scenes

Unfortunately, with the musical backing Maybe you won't be able to. I rolled a 17 with my short sword. Does that hit? Yes, that does hit. Then I do seven points of damage. Does that kill a cop?

Oh, he's down. He's slumped on one knee and he's like, oh mercy, please. Can I? Is it my go? like, oh, mercy, please. Can I, is it my go? Oh, yeah, all right. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You've got a firm grasp on the initiative.

You've got a weird look in your eye, Mr. Snowman. Well, he's just very new to everything. He wants to be a part of it. Okay. So he takes, it's going to have to be bludgeoning damage. Yes. With his little twiggy hand. Yep, that's true.

But he's going to go for the eyes. Oh, perfect. Perfect. Twigs. That is an 18. Oh, that hits. And as you slide your twigs into his skull, please roll a wisdom saving throw.

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind.

So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. DC, 8 million. 12. Oh, overcome by a lust for blood you burst into song what's this what's this what's this I killed a man I think it's kind of great. What's this, what's this, this feeling in my chest? I think it might be hate. Oh, before all this it was just looking at a tree or a snake or a little bird but now that I have

killed a man then I think that I will be heard because I am a guy who kills, yes I am one who kills a cop and that is who I am right now feels pretty weird Feels pretty weird.

A shadow passes over the square. Is it perfectly square shaped? It's not the Christmas hawk, is it? Yulmus hawk, please. It is the High Inquisitor Lithgow Flagellon. This is kind of a priest, a flagellant, a sort of a religious zealot who clings to the laws and have a lot of power in this town. Oh, no, it's the bad guy.

Singing, singing here in my town. Music in my town. Music in my town. Do you know what a song is? A song is an invitation for evil. A song is an invitation to danger. An invitation to mayhem. It is a handwritten note on pretty pink stationery. Inviting a big giant spider into your life. And you step out your door and walk to your car and ugh, a web in your face.

You turn to the left to get out of it and whoa, a web in your face. You turn to the right, try to get back into the house, a web in your face. If you invite a giant spider into your life, there is one thing that you will get at every turn. Do you know what that is? A web in my face? A web in your face. All from singing. What's a web?

Now you must be new here. Oh fuck, I just got why you're called Lithgow. You piece of shit. Because that's the guy who played the preacher in Footloose. Okay. Okay. Now you must be new here if you do not know our very, very strict laws.

I am new here, that is an understatement. There is no singing. There is no music. Is murder against the law? Now you raise an interesting philosophical point. Well, I guess the question we're asking is you've come in here really angry about the singing, but he literally has his fingers in that guy's eyes.

Well, this is a small... I'm still alive, sir. He's just blinded me quite badly. Oh, I heard them singing. I'm dobbing them in absolutely right now. I rolled an 18. I attack with my short sword. Oh, yeah, all right.

Well, roll a... That's another seven points of damage. Okay, roll a... That does kill him again, but roll a wisdom saving throw, please. Oh, no, that's not what I wanted. Yeah, too bad. No, but that wasn't the one I wanted. Please roll a wisdom saving throw.

That's a nine. No. Even at a very low difficulty, that does not pass. And as you pull the short sword from his body, you marvel at its shortness. And words spring from your mouth as you sing about your short sword. Oh, short sword. Short sword.

Short sword. Short sword. Oh, short sword. Short sword. Short sword. Short sword Short sword Short sword I know he's got sword Short sword Short sword Short sword I killed this man Short sword

Short sword Short sword With my little short sword Short sword Short sword Enough! I... What the...

I... I... Enough! Oh, I see. I cannot be more clear. Singing is completely outlawed. Yeah, now that you mention it, every time someone sings something,

somebody gets killed. Now listen here. Since you seem to be new here, you must know we are not complete barbarians. If you do feel the... Hey. Wow, dude. Wow. If you feel a need to express

yourself, by all means do. But do it in the way of our people. And what is that? Spoken word poetry or simple rap. Can you show us? Can you show us how it works? Yeah. What makes a rap simple? Well, well, well. I mean, by singing you've broken our laws.

But I am a merciful man and how about we make this interesting? A poetry slam. How is that not worse than singing? If you win, you're free to go. But if you lose, you will be put into prison. Now, I haven't known him for very long, but I think this guy, Frojo, is our champion. Do we agree, everybody? Yeah.

He got blown. I'm very unhappy about this. He's wearing that t-shirt that says, my name's Frojo and I'm here to stay. What does it say on the back? I can't read. I haven't seen that yet. When he turns around, I'll be sure to tell you.

Very well, Fro-Yo, if you will be the champion. None of you wish to compete? No, we're on his side. We're just here for moral support. I'll be his hype man. Very well, hop away. Alright, everyone.

Listen up. Let's give it up for the mouth from the south. It's Froyo. Froyo. I'm an old man, but I will be your hype man, Inquisitor. Please, the man who you all feared deeply, give it up for High Inquisitor Flagellon! Boo!

Well, as the rules dictate, I will go first as I am on home turf. Are boos bad? Yes, they're quite bad in the business. All right. Now, it will be a poetry slam in three rounds.

Three? Three rounds. Three rounds. That's a lot of rounds for one joke. I'm just glad I don't have to do it myself. Now, no, okay, one round.

Fuck it, we've got other things to do. All right. The winner will be judged by the crowd of villagers who has gathered. In the event of a tie, there will be a tie-breaker round. But let's fucking hope that that's not the case. All right. So, High Inquisitor, what is your chosen subject? Have you ever been to a rap battle?

It's like a... I would say that 70% to 80% of all rap battles are admin. Yeah, I remember that scene in 8 Mile where there was a clerk with a pad and he had to take notes from everyone and get suggestions. Hello, everybody. Welcome to 8 Mile.

Can I please get an occupation and an animal? Please form an orderly queue outside. For the purposes of this table talk, I am not prepared for this. Oh, good, because I fucking have. Yeah, no. But just so you know, you can... You must suck man

being put on the spot You can you can bestow I know it's like a lot of dissing and stuff in rap battles because I know what a rap battle is

You can make up whatever about my appearance like the character's appearance etc You're giving me permission to be mean to you? No you're giving me to be mean to my character

specifically just my character Not to me thank you Dave He looks exactly like Simon No He looks exactly like Simon If anything I look like If anything I look like If anything I look like John Lithgow But John Lithgow in Cliffhanger

Which is pretty similar to John Lithgow in Footloose actually Ignore me Help Alright Master of Ceremonies Alright Drop the beat Drop it

Put that down Who are you talking to? You talking to that beetroot farmer? Yeah, small child I know you want to throw things But please wait till the battle is over Alright High Inquisitor

Rap I mean, rhyme You know what to do That's a clickin' at rap battles as well Yeah, throw yo Rap, I mean, rhyme. You know what to do. That's a click in at rap battles as well. Yeah. Fro-yo. Oh, no.

Here we are. Here we go. Let's see. You're like a yo-yo going up and down. I got a frown. I'm looking at your face that's looking down because you know I'm going to win. But let's begin. I feel like we met Will Miranda.

You shouldn't. Just for a second, guys. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, where was I? I'm a hell of a guy. I'm Grand Inquisitor. In fact, I'm high. High Inquisitor is the title I have.

Oh man, you ruined the flow. Oh, fuck it. All right, crowd. What do you think of the High Inquisitor? Just the line in somebody's freestyle. Anyway, where was I? All right. You, Fro was I? All right.

You, Frojo, the champion. Can you describe the Grand Inquisitor so he has something to go on? He's very tall. He has a big black cloak with a high-backed collar. He has a long face. I'd say his palate, he's got... He looks like Dracula.

Yeah, and if you want to use these, just like from this angle, he looks like someone who one time lived if you want to use these, just from this angle, he looks like someone who one time lived in New York for three to five years and also drew a cover of The New Yorker, which was quite cool. He has two children. All right. What are the children's names? Daddy, what are the children's names?

Look, I don't want to... Yeah, what are my children's names? I know, I definitely... Yeah, what are Simon's children's names? Yeah, look, I don't... Yeah, what are my children's names? I know, I definitely... Yeah, what are Simon's children's names? Yeah, everybody just, what? I don't think it would be appropriate for me to dox the children's names, but he does live in a suburb called...

All right, no more clues. Drop, I said drop the beat. Drop the beat, you little shit. I fucking come after you Throw your Rap I mean rhyme For your life Alright everybody

Step back because I'm about to end This whole man's career Oh yes Oh no no my friend Lithgow You think you come around here without a care This ain't no rhyming saloon It's the village square, mon frere And I'm here if you dare to take me on

If you even think you've got the dollar Well, I'm a lyrical scholar Don't pop that high collar You pallid old man with, I'm a lyrical scholar Don't pop that high collar You pallid old man With, I believe, two sons It's fun to talk about family No, perhaps too much Anyway, I see

You're just a standing guy Black suit, red tie It's kind of sublime You make it work Did you say you were high before? I didn't get the reference but that's fine. Well, tell you what, why don't you go home to the seminary or wherever you know you came from. You're nothing but a blue suit dorka. Go back and make another cartoon for the New

Yorker you fuckwits. Oh! Oh! That's my boy! That's my boy! That's my boy! Oh! And the power of song has whipped the crowd into a frenzy

who mob the High Inquisitor as a riot breaks in. The beef farmer's just like, Stop it! Put the... And in the hubbub, you are pursued by the two remaining thugs, but you have an opportunity to escape, if you wish.

Yeah, we'll make a run for it, I think. Yeah, let's go down the nearest alleyway. You see Baston and Bobby lift up the front of their stall for you to climb through and go out the back and run down an alleyway. Go that way. All right, Baston, Bobby, I'm so glad you're dying for us. Thank you for doing this. It's my

pleasure. I've died before. I'll do it again. Ah, here I am, happily dying for my friends. Wounded by blows I am. See you soon. Baston, tell me if you see any entrails on sale!

Okay! Don't pay full price! What? He said don't pay full price! Oh, okay, that's good advice! They put their prices up around Christmas time! Oh, what the fuck! Sorry, I meant you'll miss! Sorry, I meant, anyway, we're going!

You run. You run. Um, but, yes. Are we safe? Can we talk for a sec? Yeah, sure. The snowman is like, Freya! I don't know a lot about a lot. And he sees somebody's shoes, for example. He's like, that's eating your foot! But what I felt when you did your talky rap singing thing i know in my bones or i suppose james o'loughlin's bones once every generation a chosen one is born who can bring music back into the world and i reckon it's probably you.

Or maybe the Inquisitor. I've really only seen two people do it. But you were so much better. Friso, this is what I'm talking about. We could become a band. Do you want to be a band? You don't need to kill people to be happy. That's an interesting question you ask.

Because being in a band It's not as easy as you think You know I've got to Upload songs to Triple J on Earth And then Message presenters

Saying can you review my fucking song And then they're like I'm actually quite busy I've got a full time Anyway what I feel like Guys I'm not done saying stuff Just one second

We can have this conversation While we walk But I'm getting drawn Toward something I can feel the power of music somewhere. Just follow me and keep talking. Okay, we follow... Alright, we follow him.

Frozen Donut, we follow you. Yeah, it's going to take a while to get there, I think. Where are we going? I don't fucking know! Oh, swears! Why are you getting mad at us? That sounds fun in the mouth! You used that perfect!

He leads you out through the woods, through the snow, That sounds fun in the mouth. You used that perfect. He leads you out through the woods, through the snow, you trudge. Arriving at a cave mouth. At a cave mouth. That's the cave? I'm explaining it. I'm explaining it to Donut. To Frozen Donut. You hear a whisper on the wind.

Cave mouth. Oh, that's a cave mouth. Yeah, it's a cave mouth. Oh, it's the mouth of a cave. What Frozen Donut goes on to explain to you is that... Does a cave have eyes? Does a cave have a nose? Solution saving throw.

Oh, no, I'm good. Okay. He goes on to explain that the power that is inside you will grow the more song enters the world. And the reason, probably, that the townspeople try to stop song is to keep the power for themselves. Well, you like power, don't you, Friso? If the songs have power, doesn't that interest you? I mean, yeah. I guess if you're saying if we started a band,

I'd become the most powerful warlock in all of... The land. The land? I would love to be a part of that. It's rich world building. That's the exact pitch that they got to start Muse. The land is called Musicalia.

And the most... You've had fucking months. No, it's my James Cameron. It's like, and the most powerful metal is unobtainium. Musicalia it is. Look, we could rule Musicalia as cousins.

As cool, cool, non-seductive cousins. You and me. And wouldn't it be nice to establish some parameters for our relationship? Wait a second. Seductive cousins? That's a bad name. That's a bad name. And we need a manager.

We do. Phil, would you like to be our manager? name. And we need a manager. We do. Phil, would you like to be our manager? Yeah, me could do the manager and play bass, if that's what you're asking. Yeah, sure. Sure, man. And I could sell something called tasers. It's so simple, I see it now. The ban on songs demanded strict adherence

It said good and honest folk were born to fear us The Yulmus cousins put on ice Our singing's just a bit too nice This newfound power's something to adjust to I have been adjusting for you and me, Friso All that time just locked inside the castle. Well, I'm ready for revenge on all these assholes. So seductive.

If my voice had power all this time, it's Christmas, I'm in Anaheim, and Disneyland is open just for us two, for me and you and apparently these two. What's Disneyland? The windows turn, feel the changes bringing. These powers burn, but we can stop them stinging All my life I see, all I needed was a key

It turns out that key was G and I'm coming out singing Okay mate, you're going a little bit crazy, let's dial it back Fras-o don't you see they don't respect us They think music here was made just to infect us And I can see you feel it too It's time to show what we can do When no one's here to stop or redirect us So come on old boy it's time to come out singing

Just embrace the joy, no time for Michael Hinging You say you'll show them all And give this town an overhaul Well Freezo's song's a cannonball Let's cut him out singing And I know, I know, I know It's a lot to think about I know, I know, I know That they say it's bad

And yes, I know, I know, I know You think musical theatre is problematic and shit But Freezo, it's your birthright and there's fire in those vocal chords So don't get choked, get mad, get mad We're both the same, it's time to come out singing Embrace the pain, no time for Michael Hinging They say that you're a clown Think how righteous we could sound If you're lonely, well you know

It might be better off in stereo This town is gonna see What Friso Fursons do, it's you and me Together Froyo's coming down singing Okay, I guess we can do some hand stuff, but like... Ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of Act One. Thank you. Let's hear it for Tom Carty.

And Dave Harmon. And the rest of your Dragon friends. Guys, have a drink, go to the toilet, have another drink and we'll see you for the second half in just a bit. Is it good shit? Yeah, before, hey, has anyone tried the eggnog? Yes. Is it fucking, is it good shit? It's alright. Oh, okay.

Medicine and then it's alright. Yeah. Medicine and then it's alright. Sign me up. It's a rum eggnog with amaretto. It's called Frizzo's Blood because Frizzo's blood is cum. Sure. Frizzo's blood is cum. Now I really want to drink one.

I'll see you soon. Round of applause for your DMs. All right! From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca.