Drama Queens - BONUS: Tan France

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

Sophia couldn't let Tan France go without getting in on the "Honorable Gays" hilarity as the two test the premise of his new YouTube series. Turns out, Sophia was born to deliver hot takes and judgy AITA commentary! Meanwhile, if you started saying "French tuck" thanks to Tan, wait until you hear the term he rolls out in this wild chat!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hi, everyone. It's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Friends, I could not let Tan go without actually playing an honorable gaze round with him. I, because as I mentioned last time, I love nothing more than these Reddit threats. There are people who post them on certain social accounts that my friends and I follow. And it's kind of like the break we take in the middle of.

a workday is to go, have you seen this one? So I feel like you sort of made this show for me. Thank you very much. I love as well that people are getting to see not only your personality, but some inside queer culture on YouTube, thanks to this show. So for friends who are joining us newly today, the whole way this works, if you've seen them, are there are a series of threads on Reddit called Am I the Asshole, where somebody explains a problem, they're trying to to figure out what's going on. You're required, if you're going to do this in a reading, to be a little sassy and a little judgy, obviously, and good fun.

Does that part come naturally to you after all these years on reality TV? Absolutely easy. Yeah, easy to think about. Okay, Fab. Well, I'd like to see if I'm cut out to be your honorable. Well, we're calling anyone who joins Honorary Gay, even if they're clear. You're an honorary gay.

Yeah, well, an honorary. Yeah, I can take the place of a gay man on this episode, I suppose. So I'm into it. Okay, I'm going to read you a situation. Great. And we'll see. Oh my gosh, I'm talking about playing this.

I know, I'm really excited to. I do this to my girlfriends. It's my favorite thing. It's so fun. And this one actually feels really pressing, especially given the queer eye of it all. Yeah. Am I the asshole for asking my friend

not to wear makeup to my wedding? I recently asked my close friend, Devon to be a bridesmaid for my wedding. We've been friends since high school and I was very excited to have her by my side. I put together baskets for my bridesmaids that included a printed list of the dress code for the wedding. Uh-oh, I already smell trouble. Go. I know. I'm so anxious. I'm sweating. The list included that I wanted them all to wear a green dress in any style or shade. Okay. Silver heels. Okay. And light natural makeup. I do plan on having a makeup. I do plan on having a makeup. artist there day of to do the girl's makeup. For context, Devin typically dresses in a very traditional

goth style with white, light base, heavy black eyeliner, etc. I love her style and I think she looks absolutely beautiful in it. However, that's not the look I'm going for at my wedding. She texted me a few hours after I gave her the basket saying, so I I'm not allowed to wear my makeup to the wedding. I explained to her that if she wanted to be a bridesmaid, she'd have to adhere to my dress code, but she was welcome to just come as a guest and dress in her normal style.

She responded basically saying, if you don't want me to be myself, I don't need to be there at all. I told her I wasn't trying to change who she is. I just want her to match the rest of the bridesmaids for one day. She got upset and said, I care more about a photo than my friend's comfort. I feel like I was being really reasonable and even offered a compromise,

but I also don't want to lose a friend over something this small. Am I the asshole? Gosh, I love this fun. Oh my God, I love wedding ones. Okay, we'll see this. On Honorable Gays, our first, I've got my show, am I wrong? The first two episodes of wedding episodes, I wanted to do a full season of wedding because I love a wedding story.

Yes. And I've got my own wedding story. And one day I want to share it. It wasn't the other one of it. It was when I was a part of the bridal party. Oh my gosh, it's so good, but I'm too scared to tell it because this person's going to know. Okay. Oh, we have to figure out a way to tell that story.

I know. Okay. Actually, weirdly enough, that's how this whole show came to be because of my experience in this party. Stop. Oh, my God. We have so much to talk about when the world is not listening. Okay, okay, okay. Continue. Okay.

Wait, you read the story. So whoever reads the story, they can't go first, but I really want your attention. first. However, okay, here's how honorable gaze goes. We discuss it and then we come to a decision. But because of who I am and how I am wired, I always have my opinion, a lot to load it, and I refuse because I'm so... You refuse to change? However, you could potentially convince me. So I'm going to play the role of Eric and Rob today and give my arguments. I'm going to give two and against, or boring against, sorry. Okay.

You can make, you can be the judge. You can play me. First off, I do appreciate that she gave a loose list of, okay, it's just got to be green. Just have to be a certain, particular green. Uh-huh. It can be whatever kind of dress just has to be a green. That is somewhat considerate because we've heard some stories on Honoural Gays where they are nowhere near as kind. So that's a good start.

Like makeup, I kind of get, like you want your, you. your pictures to be aesthetically pleasing or your way. You are going to post them on social, so I know that you want it to have a certain vibe. I get it. So that's the nice side of me. The real side of me is I also kind of feel for the bridesmaid thinking, I'm already going to wear the dress.

It seems like the dress isn't the issue. So she'll wear the dress, she'll wear the silver shoes. She's made them compromise. When it comes to makeup, I think there are certain things that feel so you to really lay this argument down. I'm imagining if her makeup is like my hair. If somebody wanted me to dye my hair because I was the only person that didn't have black hair at South Asia Wedding. I'm the only one that didn't have black hair, so I was going to ruin the photos, I think, but this is me.

Like it's how I feel most normal in the world. And I don't want to pretend to be somebody else. that day. I don't want a costume that day because you're my friend and I love you and this is all, you've always known me as this. And so I think it's really harsh to say to your friend,

hey bitch, I'm happy with how you are, every the day of your life, but today, I want you to be a different person to make me happy. Just let's see like a dick move a little bit. And so, okay, I guess I've come up with

my argument. Okay, my closing statement, is this. Some light suggestions for your bridesmaids is appropriate. But when it comes to something that truly represents who they are and what will make them comfortable, I think you have to have some wiggle room and I think it's way harsh. Do you know the term way harsh tie? That's a way harsh tie. You can't make your goth, emo friend be a dainty queen just because it's your your wedding. She's your friend. If you love and respect her, let her wear the makeup that makes her feel most comfortable. Am I wrong? Do you think I'm wrong? It's, this one is so hard. It's so hard. Because I get, listen, if one day in your life gets to be about you, it's supposed to be your wedding.

Yeah. And I understand that, look, here's what's hard for me. I don't have a visual. You know, are we talking Gene Simmons from Kiss? Like, if we're talking like... That's my visual. To be back, with something like that. Like if it's full,

hardcore goth, black lipstick, like the whole whatever, you know, all the, all the things. Yeah. I understand that that

wouldn't exactly fit the vibe. Yeah. What I will actually say is now having read this twice because I read it before we got on Zoom and then I'm rereading it. The issue I have with this

is the lack of an upfront conversation. Like this, the bride passed out baskets to all the women like they were going to be taken in the same way. When the makeup thing was, she knew would be personal for this friend of so long. And then the friend texted. And I'm like, you've got to have the, kindness to say, hey, I'm prepping this thing. I'm going to give everyone their baskets tomorrow.

Like, invite her out for a drink. Go over for a snack at the house and just say, I don't want this to come off terribly. And you know, I think you're like magnificent and hot and I love this vibe for you and I love your whole look and I love your, I don't know, whatever, piercings, combat boots, whatever it is. Would you be comfortable at my wedding, like, matching all the other bridesmaids a little more? I just want everything to feel super seamless and that might seem silly. It's just what I'm envisioning for my day but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

I bet if this woman had been proactive about this conversation, it would have gone a completely different way. I agree, I agree. I also wonder if not just having the conversation making it very clear that, okay, maybe this is a silly suggestion. But if it was one of my close, close friends, I would say if it is an issue for you, I completely

understand if you don't want to. And then no big deal. And I won't be offended whatsoever. I love you. And if this just isn't for you and if it's going to make you feel uncomfortable, I understand if you don't want to be. So I'm giving you the option. I would love for you to be my bridesmaid, but I would like my wedding to go like this.

So if you are okay with that, I want you desperately to be my bridesmaid. But if you don't want to, it's okay. And I won't be offended. but I would love for you to be there. Yeah. You're there with me. Yeah. So, yeah, that would be mine.

So is the opian asshole is what you're saying? Uh-huh. I don't think she meant to be. What we call it on the show is a soft asshole. Uh-huh. It's a soft asshole. Because I don't, here's the thing. Weddings make people go crazy.

Did you have a, did you, are you married to your? partner right now. Are you together? We're together, yeah. Okay, okay. At your wedding, can we refer to? Yes, I had, yes, I had a, I had a, the wedding that Pinterest built was so beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. So did you have them all matching? Did you have to have, no, you didn't do that. Okay, okay. And I had men in my bridal party and like, you know, everything was. So, okay, here's the thing I'm going to say that's going to hurt so many of you out there who've done this. I think that we put our own feelings before our friend's feelings, or our own feelings about a vibe and an aesthetic,

over our friends' true emotions. And so if I knew that some of my friends weren't going to match in, I just think, I've got to make it easier. I'm just going to have one person, if anybody, to be my, like, made of honor or something, all my groomsmen. And therefore, I'm going to mitigate hurting my friends. I would rather that over the aesthetic.

I think we care to much about the aesthetic, though. Yeah, yeah. The aesthetics have taken on such a thing that I just don't think they need to. And I will say, I think also sometimes you can get so caught up in that part that it can take the place of what's really important. And I will say, I will be vulnerable and say this is my own experience. looking back, I realize we were so focused on the project that we weren't looking at the fact that,

like, the thesis was missing, if you will. That's the kindest way I can say that. So it's like, if you're so obsessed with what these photos are going to look like, what might you be missing in the emotion? I think when people are too focused on the details, it's because there's a lack of something really important going on. Not to, you know, send this O.P. to, you know, send this O.P. to therapy, but it might be worth a question. Maybe now I'm the asshole. No, no, no, no, no, you are so fair. Basically, what we're saying then is aesthetics of the asshole, because they've ruined our society where we think that it's more important to have this aesthetically pleasing photo than caring about your friend's feelings. Yeah, and by the way, it's not like this is your best friend of

five years. This is someone you've been friends with since high school. She always looks like this. you know, if that's really who she is, I think the conversation needs to be more delicate to say, would you be willing to shift the vibe a little? Yeah. And if not, truly no worries. Yeah. Like, you've got to love your people for who they are.

Yeah. So can I give you a sneak or, yeah, I guess it is a sneak big or a teaser of one of our stories. One of our stories on honorable games, again, because I love wedding stories so much, is somebody's build. One of the bridesmaids builds was different to the other bridesmaids. And what she's saying without obviously saying it is one of her bridesma's was larger

and taller than the others. And so therefore she was ruining, air quotes, the photos. And I sat there thinking, I know this story because this has happened at a friend's wedding of mine. We went to,

I didn't know before. My friend was being invited to be a bridesmaid at somebody's wedding. I didn't know. And I was like, you need to cut that bitch out of you. life, like, she doesn't want you in your photo, in the photos, because you, you in your dress don't look as smelt as everybody else in their dress. She chose a body-con dress for everyone.

Of course that wasn't going to be perfect for all of her friends. No one's going to feel confident in that. That is a hate crime. I know it's a hate crime. Period. That person was clearly the asshole in that situation. And so I think my big, do you know what the asshole is? Sophia, the art-tole of the story is weddings in general. It's Instagram. I'm going to call it American Weddington General at the asshole

because they've encouraged us to behave like mean people to our friends and family and you think what happened to back in the day when they're going to wear whatever they want to wear. You're going to have your day. You've got 16 bridesmaids.

You've got just one. You're there to do with your husband who gives a shit. If you're friends and have the body that you think she needs to have on that day, it doesn't matter. And now a word from our sponsors who make this show

possible. An epic rock adventure with Iheart Radio and Shine Down live in Toronto. Intimate and invite only July 6th. You and a pal with flights and hotel from tripcentral.ca. The smarter way to book travel. Plus $1,000 cash. Download Iheart radio. Listen to Iheart Heavy Rock for 10 minutes and click enter for your chance to win. Plus May 29th, Shinedown's new album 8 is available. Now. You know what I think? My new litmus test, and maybe this comes from the fact that half of my closest friends all got divorced in the same summer, myself included.

It was a really interesting reckoning because half of us were going through divorces and then half of the other half of our friend group was all pregnant and I was like, what is happening? Like, this is a reality show gone sideways. It was funny and tragic and beautiful and all the things. And one of the things, when so many people reflect on, you know, now that I really have admitted this to myself, now that I really see it, when did I start ignoring the red flags? When did I start compromising myself? When did I tell myself, you know, this was part of it? And I think there really can be something to what you're living up to, this big dream, this thing for your parents, this thing for your whole family. You're so caught up. up in the planning of something that you might not be paying attention to the minutia in your home. And so now my litmus test for anyone who tells me they want to get married. And to be clear,

I love love, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. I'm a sucker for it. But my whole thing, if you tell me you're getting married, I say, oh, my God, congratulations. If you tell me you're getting a divorce, I say, oh, my God, congratulations. To both, I say, is there anything I can do to help? Yeah. But when people tell me they want to get married, now my question is, if you were going to elope in the backyard with your person, would you still love it? And a parent or a friend, and just that, would you still want to get married?

If no one was going to be there to watch, would you marry this person? That's the question I ask now. That's fair. Okay, I have a version of that, which is way meaner. Tell me, this is why you're the judge, Tammy. lay it on us. And this is such an insane blanket statement. I know this is not true.

It's just my general feeling. The bigger the wedding, the more likely that marriage is to fail for me. I've been to some fancy pants weddings of the last few years. They've been gorgeous. But every time of thought, I think you focus so much on this gorgeous wedding. And they are amazing. Don't get wrong, they've done an amazing event. Yeah.

You should have gone down to town hall and just arrange, be a producer for a living, be a wedding, but if you just want to arrange an incredible wedding, arrange somebody else or something. You don't need a 30-foot trail, a train. You don't need 10,000 people at you wedding. Just if it's about your marriage, make it be about your marriage, not the wedding. Yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, sometimes you embark on a project.

with someone. And then when the wedding's over, you become the project. And that's a big no-no. Yeah. And also, I know this is such a given, but if you are going into so much debt because you've got a massive, massive, incredible wedding, don't you wrong, I know it's a gorgeous wedding and I don't know. It's got on your likes on Instagram. And everyone wants to wear the dress you wore. I understand that. But you're doing, you're basically, your wedding, it's content. It's not your marriage. You should not get into debt for that because I would tell you, the next. 20 years are going to be rough when you can't afford to pay all that wedding back. You're off to such a rough start when you've got a grand's worth of debt because of that

wedding. A lope and start a small business instead. Yeah, absolutely. Right? Absolutely. Okay. So aesthetics are to blame. Big weddings need to be done.

So the arseful is, in this order, big weddings, uh, aesthetic expectation for social media and soft arsexual. the pride. The O.P. We've done it. I need you to know that this I've been doing for about five years. Actually, also, we did it a lot during COVID. Me and my girlfriends,

there's a story, here's a story, or give your opinion. We're in. Oh, my God, I love it. Absolutely. Please invite me to those zooms. That's the hang I want to be on. It's so funny. And it gets so ludicrous.

It gets so ludicrous. Oh, I love it. Oh, Tam. I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy to see you. Thank you. So, so happy I got to see the baby. Just so you know, so you guys aren't going to get to see the baby. No, but I got to see the baby. Sorry, I don't say that to be mean to the audience, but I did get to see the baby. See my youngest, who is it gorgeous? It's a gorgeous. God. Love him my life. Love him. My life. He just started to say words properly if it's gorgeous.

Oh, wait, does he have your accent? He has a bit of, so weirdly not, they both. would start with my accent and then they grow out of my accent. So my youngest spoke with such an English accent and now my current youngest speaks with such an English, sorry, such a strong English accent. But then the first word that changes is tomato. And then as soon as you used a tomato, I know I've lost them. Oh, the shift. Fucking tomatoes, man. Tomatoes. Those tomatoes are ruining. Tomatoes are the asshole. Tomatoes are the asshole. They've ruined my life. I just want a tomato and can't get one. out my kids, uh-uh, and then my eldest will now correct me. You're saying that wrong. Like, I am saying, do you dare talk to me like that? That is a knife and the heart. That is also a hate crime.

I don't even know what that means yet. It's a late. It's a lot. It's saying it wrong. Oh, it's so nice to see. Thanks for coming. So much fun. You're not very good at this. Thanks. I just like to hang out with people I like. It's very nice. It's lovely. Also, whatever your ring light is, I need that because... Oh, I'll send you the whole... My whole setup is very good. Oh, it's very... Yeah, that's very good. It's just one light, but it has a...

Like, you know, when you're on set and they put the silks in front of the kinos, it has like a mini silk. Wow. It's a nice light. Yeah, it's really good light. We have so much to text about. I know. And I will see you on next to label to have a catch-up catching. I would love it.

I would love that. Okay, honey. Bye. Bye, my love. Have a good day. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.