Drama Queens - Jana Kramer

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Did you know Jana Kramer almost didn't play Alex Dupre? Yup -- It's true!  Join Sophia as she gets all the details from Jana's recent wedding, hears all about adorable baby number 3 and of course, chats all things OTH -- including Julian and how she eventually got him!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. It may look different, but native culture is alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other native stories on the show, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

First of all, you don't know me. We're all about that high school drama girl, drama girl, all about them high school queens. We'll take you for a ride in our comic girl. Drama girl. Cheering for the right team. Drama queens, drama queens, smart girl, rough girl, fashion but you'll tough girl. You could sit with us, girl. Drama queen, drama queens, drama queens, drama queens, drama queens.

Hi. Hi. I'm so happy you're here. Literally, so Rob had a conflict. Joy is like in London. And they were like, oh no, we're so sorry. We're going to have to reschedule this week. I was like, everybody out of my way.

I need to catch up with my girl. Like, we have so much to talk about. And Rob was so cute. He was like, oh, you have to ask Jana if she like did the same thing I did, which was like, you guys were doing the podcast. He goes, and for the longest time, I was like, why aren't my friends inviting me on their show? And then I realized you only, like, have people on when their character is on screen.

So I was going to have to wait seven seasons. I was like, God, it's, it's, I've been like, I've been chomping at the bit to get to here. And we're finally here. Yeah, no, 1,000 percent. I thought this. I was like, well, I, everyone's like, kept asking me, when are you going to be on Draven Queens? I was like, I don't know. I don't still think they like me because I'm not on.

So, but it's fine. You just forget that we did our show for essentially the equivalent of 140 years. So it took us a while to. get to Alex Dupre. Yeah, I mean, oh, like so many episodes and just so long, and that's just kind of so unheard of now in this day and age of like TV. And so I'm like, when I even tried to rewatch things from, I'm like, there's no time. There's no time. By the way, I think about that so often, like when we go to our sweet little conventions and we get to regroup with people, it's like someone will say, oh, I'm on my fifth rewatch. And I'll look at them and be like,

do you have like a time management app? You know something about free time that I don't know, and I would love your skills. And people look at me like, I'm crazy. I'm like, I just don't, I don't feel like I have the time to watch new things. Right. Yeah. But I am loving the experience of going back and watching our show. Okay, for our friends at home, I clearly am very excited.

I actually started before you got in. I was just like talking to everyone about how excited I was that you were here and then realized I wasn't recording because I'm like so amped that I have forgotten how to do my job. But I voice-noted Jana last night, and I was like, I'm beside myself that you're coming. I had obviously the most fun working with you. Like, for everyone at home, we were roommates for years. I love this woman. But, like, Brooke and Alex were adversaries. So I had to be in scenes. And obviously, I was so enamored with you because you're the most charming person alive. But, like, I never got to just watch you. I had to act with you. And now I'm watching.

you and I am like cackling out loud. I'm obsessed with Alex Dupre. I finally relate to Joy where she's like, oh yeah, it's really weird for me. Like anytime Nathan has chemistry with a girl on screen, I'm like jealous. And I was like, that's weird. And then I was like, how cute. I guess because you guys worked together for so long. And you know, Julian is Brooks end game. And I was like, they have really good chemistry. I'm sort of offended. I'm also sort of a fan. Should Alex and Julian have ended up together? Like, I don't know what's happening. to me. Well, spoiler alert. Alex did get Julian in the end in a different movie because we just did a movie together in every little piece of my heart. I was like, I'm going to go on drama queens and be like,

well, Alex finally got to kiss Julian. Alex finally got her man. Oh my God, I'm obsessed. Yeah, but then he tried to kill her. So, you know, it didn't really end up well. Okay, well, that was the plot twist I didn't see coming, but probably the point of the movie. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, but it was like, it was very much like a, oh, wow, I was like, a lot of people are like, Brooke is not going to like this. Because, like, the Tree Hill is like, you know, when they cast an Austin and I together, I'm like, all right, he's playing my husband. And my first thought was the Tree Hill fans. So I was like, they're going to hate this.

I sort of love it, though. I feel like it's such a testament to our show that so many of us wind up coming together on all these other endeavors. Like, there's something really special about the kinds of friendships you build where it doesn't matter if it's been a week or a year since you've seen someone, you're like right back in the groove. Yeah. It's something that only this little handful of us got to do together, and it's so special. Yeah, it was cool because I was, so my husband has never, never watched One Tree Hill ever. Oh my God, I was going to ask. Yeah, he's never watched, had no idea who I was

on the show. And he, and honestly, like when I auditioned for One Tree Hill, I didn't even audition for Alex. I auditioned for Chantelle's character. I didn't know that. Mm-hmm. And Chantel auditioned for Alex. What? Wait. Okay, hold on, hold on. Do you know that when the show first started, and I didn't even know this until years later, because Brooke's not in the pilot. So, like, I missed, you know, I showed up in Wilmington in July for, like, episode one. And everybody had had this pre-existing life for months where, like, they knew each other and all these things from the pilot back in April. Right. And I had no clue. about very pivotal pieces of information, both on screen and off.

And I learned that originally the WB had tried to cast Chad as Nathan. Oh, wow. And he was like, no, I always play the bad guy. I want to play the good guy. Because I guess his character on Dawson's Creek was like a really terrible person. I don't know. I didn't watch the later seasons of the show. But so Chad was almost Nathan and you were almost Quinn?

Yeah. Oh, my God, this is crazy. Yeah. So I remember going into producer sessions with, you know, the producers and then the creator was there. And he was like, you're great, but I don't think this is your part. And I was like, okay. He's like, can you read these sides? Can you go out in the hall and read these sides? And so I'm just like, yeah, sure. Yep. And so I go out there. And I'm reading these sides. And I'm like, this is so not me. Like this is the farthest thing from me. I don't feel connected to this character at all. And I just like, I don't know, like the, every time even like to this day, whenever there's like a really big energy, I just, I don't know, I just, it doesn't like, it just feels weird. And I'm like, she's an alcoholic, and I've never been drunk before, and I've never done drugs. And so there's, like, all the things. I'm like, I just am not connected to this character.

And then I booked it. And I was like, oh, crap. So then, like, watching back, I was always really insecure of playing Alex because I just didn't, I don't know. I just, she didn't, I really had to, like, try to, like, create something different with her and try to make her have a little bit of heart in moments. Yeah. Because I just didn't, like, connect to her at times. But then there's other scenes where it was, like, you know, later on. scenes. I'm like, oh my gosh, I sew connector. But yeah, it was always so weird. But watching back,

I'm like, okay, I wasn't, in my head, I thought I wasn't, I wasn't good. I wasn't like funny or I wasn't. And I'm like, oh, I'm actually laughing along to like our scenes. So it was like enjoyable to actually watch back a few episodes to go, okay, like this was funny or I did do a decent job. Yeah. I mean, my God, you're so good. It's really interesting to hear you talk about it in that way, because that's how I felt getting cast as Brooke. Oh, wow. and you're like the perfect brook and and to me you obviously i know you as a human differently and you know me as a human differently but on screen you embody so much of alex and i think i think maybe that's the through line is when you can't understand why someone would behave in a way you really

have to figure out why you have to figure out their emotional story you have to have something underneath it that makes this, you know, on paper, outlandish behavior feel like it comes from somewhere. Yeah. And I remember early in us doing the podcast when Joy and Hill and I were talking, and Joy was like, wait, but hold on, because to me, you know, this all made sense, why did it feel so different for you? And I told her this, and I don't know if we've ever talked about this part, but like, when we started

the show, like when I came in for episode one, I was three years out of an all-girl school. There were 55 girls in my graduating class, and we were in school from seventh through 12th grade together, and then I went to, you know, a big sort of traditional college for three years, and then I came to set. I was like, what is high school? Who are boys? Like, what do you mean they're in your class? What do you mean people ditch? I could never, I could never have skipped class, like in the school that I went to. There's no way I could have gotten away with it. So to be this girl who was like sexual and into, I don't know, being wild and cutting school and didn't care, I was, I felt like you felt being like, uh, okay. I guess I have to figure out

why she's like this. Right. And you did and you killed it. What a trip though, because I feel that watching you. I'm like, you just absolutely crushed it. Well, thank you. you. But it was like, we ended up watching a couple more of the episodes. And there was the, you know, the scenes where I ended up finding her and me through her. It was, it was a very, like, and I like, I now miss playing Alex. It's like, I just, she was so fun, you know? And I feel like a lot of times I don't take risks. And I'm like, oh, I'm not right for this. I'm not right for this. And so she's like, that character has kind of helped me go, okay, no, I wasn't right for, I didn't feel like I was right for that and I got it so like kind of and then like have fun with things because

I really truly like I there's I stop myself from the fun and the joy of a lot of stuff so because I'm too in my brain. Yeah. Oh, isn't it so interesting when we go to therapy and we figure out how our childhood trauma presents as adults and you're like, I'm not going to do that and I'm not going to do that and I'm not going to do anything that is maybe unsafe and then it's in the unsafe where you kind of learn the most and you have the most fun with yourself. Yeah. So yeah, But that's why I miss her. That's why it was fun to kind of like revisit. And then Alan was just chuckling in bed last night, just watching all of it.

He was just like, he goes, your voice is different. I'm like, I know. Why is my voice so high? Yeah. But maybe the voice helped you get into it, you know? Yeah. I love it. Okay.

So we are an easy 10 minutes in. And I think what we have to do for the fans. I want to go through some like Q&A, let's. get into some stuff questions and then do the episode because I feel like we have too much to talk about to try to do them all at the same time. Are you down? Just do. Okay, great. So you just talked about Alan. Also, footnote, so Megan Park, you know, who's married to Tyler Hilton for all the friends at home, our beloved Chris Keller, Megan got these hats made that say, I've never seen one tree hill because she'd never seen it. And she sent one to Ash. And I feel like,

like Allen needs one too. 1,000% and also, though, I mean, I hate to say it, but I never watched, I know, I personally never watched one Tree Hill and I watched a couple episodes, but then I didn't go back and, like, I didn't even know Nathan and, uh, they, I didn't know there were brothers, like, until like, way later. Oh my God. I really just didn't do my research before going on the show. I knew you.

I knew like, but I just, yeah, I know, I was so nervous. I remember working with you. I was like, oh my gosh. She's Sophia Bush. Oh my God, stop. But yeah. But yeah, Alan for sure, because he's never seen any of them. So, yeah, until last night.

That is so great. Yeah. Wait, so what did he think? What was the feedback? He was like, you know, in his little cute Scottish accent, he's like, he really, he's like, yeah, baby's like, that was, I get it. I get why people like it so much. She's like, I got into it, you know.

So then because he was asking questions about the episode we were watching. He's like, so wait, did, is there a love child? Nathan or is that, like, is she actually lying? So I'm like, oh, you're asking questions. You're like, interesting. You're into it. Invested in the drama. Yeah. And he's like, okay. So I thought, then I thought, then, I thought, you know, Stephen's character was with Mia. So I thought that was your boy. So he was like, how does, what's the progression like? And so he was, he was definitely asking. So he liked that. Oh, I love it. Oh, I love it. And then he was just like, you're so young and, you know, he's like, you're cute. I was watching yesterday to get

prepped and I'm on the East Coast and so Ash sat down to watch with me. Our friend Sammy is here and she was like, wait, but that's your boyfriend. Wait, you also dated this guy in high school. Wait, okay, has Brooke dated every boy on the show? Okay, wait, there were so many questions and I was like, oh man, people, it's the exact same feeling. You're like, oh, you really do want to know who these people are. You want to understand their world. And then the question that is the bane of my existence, which doesn't relate to any of our characters, is everyone who tunes in in later seasons goes, why is your store so purple? I'm like, listen, I didn't pick it out. It wouldn't have been my choice. I don't know what else to say other than it was the early

aughts and people were really into lavender. It worked. It worked. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aimed to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for the kind of two years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence.

That's Sierra Teller Ornelis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story. along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream.

Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. You and Alan got married in Scotland. We did. Congratulations. How long has it been? How is newlywed life? Tell us how you met your man. So he DMed me on Instagram. That's how we met. He slid into the DMs, but he was, he's a football, soccer coach. And so he was coaching in England. And at the time, you know, I'm divorced, have two kids. And I had just had quite a. a fun summer and I'm like you know what I just need a break and I just want to just chill and uh but he was pretty persistent and I told him if he was ever in the States to come to Nashville and you know we can

go out for a drink and he uh we were yeah we were texting and then he's like all right I'm gonna I'm gonna be in Tampa so I'm gonna come I'd love to take you out in Nashville so I was like sure I'll go out with you and then it was just like stepping into my own Christmas movie we was in November and the Christmas lights were all up and the tree and he just like turns around and his like dapper, you know, P-code and his like sexy Scottish accent. And I was like, oh, I am so screwed. Yeah. And then, you know, things obviously progressed pretty quick from there. And he moved over in March. I was pregnant in, gosh, I don't even, what, April. And then we had our baby in November. And yeah, and then we just got married on July 13th.

24. Oh, it's so exciting. Yeah, and he's, I mean, he's a dream. It's, it's been, it's, it's so beautiful now kind of where life is at because I always, there's so many questions, like, why did this happen? Or how come I had to go through that? And like, I, you know, the struggle that I had with my ex-husband for seven years and just like the back and forth, you know, affairs. And it's like, it's, it's so beautiful now to go, okay, I had to kind of walk this path, find me through that path, and then find the absolute love of my life who I just trust with everything and how he loves my, you know, my two kids, his now stepkids is just, it's so beautiful. And like they, they now get to see what, you know, true love looks like and, you know, a more modern world. And

it's just, it's beautiful. And he's, he's so good with me. Like, he pushes me, but yet he's very, he's very protective. He's very loving. And we just, we have each other's back. And I just, I just, don't. There's no, there's no doubts because he shows up. He says what he says and he does what he does. So it's those words and actions match and it makes me then trust him and not, you know, freak out like I did the last time. So it's just like it's a beautiful and it's peaceful and it's like I finally can take a breath and just like have steady ground. And that's just a joy. I like, I love that you chose to say peaceful. We've certainly like been through the ringer together and in parallel. And I didn't even realize for the longest time how hard all the

work felt. And I think when you have, to your point, past betrayal to heal, you know, very, by the way, well-deserved trust issues. Like when you've been through things that are so hard, I think there can even be, at least there was for me, this like subconscious desire to prove that that didn't change you and that you can move past it. And when you try to do everything right, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's right for you. It doesn't necessarily mean that checking every, you know, box off the list is going to actually lead you to happiness or peace. Yeah. And sometimes I wonder if, especially because for us as performance artists

we've been trained to like push through the pain sing through the sickness act through the illness whatever it is because you have to be a good team leader and I think that that that can be really great

in a team sport but isn't necessarily so great in your personal home life and when you stop like fighting through it and you find a person you can rest with like what a gift yeah so yeah i mean there's there's that piece and then there's just there's a there's a piece of just so much safety too not in like a settling safety way like he's just like i feel so safe with him and um and with that as the support and the love and everything else but there's i've always kind of feared things and i don't have to fear anymore i don't have to fear

of the abuse i don't have to fear of the betrayal like i get to just feel safe in a beautiful way And that's a gift for sure, too. Well, yeah, when your nervous system gets to relax. I know. I'm like, oh, well, this is nice. And so now I'm like, with my ex, I'm like, thank you. Like, yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. It's good, you know? I think that's a really profound place to get to is when you can look at every shhitty thing that's ever happened to you for every way someone betrayed your trust and go, you know what? If that's what it took me to get here and to just like, lay it all down and be willing to start over and be happy. Thank you. Oh, yeah. It's big. I'm just so happy for you. I'm happy for you too. Oh, so what is what is life like? Tell us what's going on. I mean,

you've you've been such a great leader with your platform, like the things that you have been willing to speak about and the journeys you've been willing to take people on. I think I think people don't always necessarily know, what sort of courage and vulnerability that can take, but you've modeled it really, really beautifully. And I don't know, like, what feels like next? You know, you just talked about the movie you did with Austin. Yeah, it was so fun. That came out, that came out this summer, and it was so fun.

And that was a, you know, that was a piece on domestic violence, which, you know, obviously, you know, my past with domestic violence. So to be able to kind of change the script and I got to get the power back through acting was a really powerful moment. Like I never got to, I got to see my ex in court, but I never got to say anything. And so this, like, I got to, you know, change the script with that. And so that was a really powerful thing I got to do this past summer. And, you know, this year, I mean, my book, I'm still, you know, promoting the book that I wrote last year, the next chapter. And that was, you know, walking through a really hard season of, you know, divorce and

getting through that. But really, I've always put my joy and happiness on a relationship and a man. And I really had to go, okay, I have, I force myself to be alone to find true happiness with myself. And that was the hardest piece of my post-divorce that I had to walk through because I've always was like, I am happy when I am in a relationship. And I was like, I have to break that cycle because I will never be happy. He will never be enough or make me happy. So I'm like, I got to find it. So I think that was a, you know, so I'm still, you know, working on ways of, you know, still talking about that. And obviously through my podcast, wind down has been, you know, a really, we do like therapy Thursdays because obviously I think it's really important to talk about, you know, mental health. So we have two episodes a week that we do. And then, you know, I'm just grinding and auditioning and just trying to, like my dream obviously is to be back on a show watching these episodes again. And I, I, you know, I, you know, I kind of fast forwarded through a few more of the other ones. And, you know, getting to one of the episodes at the season, um, one of the season finale's, it was like,

oh, like having that like camaraderie again with like a cast. And like, it's just like, I'm like, I miss it. Like I miss, I miss showing up and doing that and, and working, you know, and I've gotten so close, uh, on some shows that have just been heartbreaking in this industry is so hard, you know, it's like, yeah, I had one that I tested for, got pinned for and, you know, working out all the stuff and then you get the call they're like they went with the other one other actress and it's like it's just devastating you know because you get so close and you're like well i don't know when i'm going to be that close again but i'm for me i'm just like you know i support my kids and i will always be working and grinding and in a piece of that is like i want to be giving back

and working on charities and stuff but also you know dream goals or yeah get back on the show that's like my number one thing is working towards that. And, you know, just being the best mom I can because I've got three kids now. And, you know, my husband, he's traveling a lot with soccer. So it's just, you know, it's a lot. As you know now with having littles around. And so it's, you know, it's a responsibility. And for me, it's like I just, I want to, I want to keep grinding, but I have to, you know, supporting them. And also, like, their childhood goes by so fast that I want to be present in those moments too. Like there's a lot of things that I've, there was a movie I didn't take this year because I didn't want to go back to back movies because I'm like, I'm not going to miss six

weeks without my kids. Like that's just, I'm still a mom first and foremost. Yeah. I know it's like the, the grind changes and to really realize how, how everything you do models for them. And, you know, I think there's no way that you go through like some of the things you and I have been through and you get to the other end of it where you go, oh, I can see everything that led me here. I see what I accepted that I shouldn't have. I see that I didn't know my worth. I see that I thought if I could build around what might be missing, maybe the center would fill in, like whatever the aha moments are, you know, I, I, and I know you feel a lot of this, like I love my parents, but there was a whole lot I didn't

learn in my house that I'm finally coming to terms with as an adult. And I cherish the fact that we have such a good relationship and now we can talk about a lot of the things that I didn't necessarily understand as a kid. But when you realize how early they get molded and how early they learn, you know, what healthy love is and that they matter and that they deserve to be seen and heard and all these things. It's like, yeah, it shifts everything. And I get, you know, when you're young, it's like you go, yeah, we can do it all. We can have it all. And then you become an adult and you go, yeah, maybe, but not all at the same time. Right. And I called one of my girlfriends who has two kids. And I was like, the fact that I ever with a straight face looked at you

and was like, well, yeah, why don't we just have dinner after the kids go to bed, like eight o'clock? Like, excuse you? Yeah, if they've gone to bed. at eight like you're asleep by eight 12 what are you talking about it's just like a crazy it's a crazy thing and it's fun it's really special to watch you get to do all this and navigate all this and i love i love the fact even by the way that you're so open like to have written the book and to talk about what it is to find that sort of piece in yourself and then also to be like just because i finally put my own puzzle together doesn't mean I don't still have to work on me. Oh no. I go every two weeks to therapy. I'm, you know, because it's things come up that trigger

you from certain things in your past, you know? That's the whole thing. And what I think is cool about kind of you and I too is like I, you've seen me go on that boy chase struggle and that like, and it's like there's so many times too when like I can reverse it and go, man, you know, it's when I've seen my friends kind of see what I was doing. It's. like you, you can't do anything. You can't say anything. They just, the person just has to go through it, you know, so. And it's kind of, you know, you, and you've gone on your own path of, of how your childhood has led you to walk different, different roads. So, you know, and you just, you find it out. And then you get to make the choice whether you're going to, uh, succumb to that or you're going to

change it and, and, you know, grow. So. Yeah. It is. It's so, it's so surreal. One of the things that I love that you mention about even carving out a space for that sort of growth on the podcast, like what you do on Wind Down and what you do on Thursdays, I just think it's more powerful than you might even realize. The willingness to normalize growth, to normalize learning how to choose yourself to say no matter what it looks like on the outside, you don't have any idea what's happening on the inside. you know, the courage that it takes to share those things. I don't know. I just, I'm, I'm grateful that you do it. Well, like, we're always going to get thrown things our way. Like, life isn't easy. It's hard. There's things that don't make sense to us that we can be triggered from. But also, like, just because I'm not in a, you know, my relationship now is, is the healthiest model of a relationship I've ever had. But there's still going to be things that come in, like I said, like from my past. So it's,

okay, how do I make sure that I communicate from the girl I am now as opposed to the girl 20 years ago? Because I don't, because I can go back real fast to her and I can go in protective mode and I can be an ass and I can be mean with my words and I can like, but that's all like my protection and that's me trying to because I'm get scared and you're going to leave me. You're not going to choose me. And so it's like I go right back. So it's like how do I like take those moments to just like breathe and go, okay, he's not leaving me. He's not her. So it's like or that's not just him, but like just anybody. so it's like because I go straight into like got to protect myself D up like and so you know

that's like those things like that is just you know continuing to work on that and then something that else you know anything else that kind of comes up is just like I just think that you can always be growing you can always be healing you can always be learning and so if I'm because that's going to make me a better parent too so yes please I'm like you know when you know back when Oprah was on and she'd be like tweet it I'm like I'm like put it um put make it a billboard yes yes yes yes yes I just I love it well we were having it was funny there was it wasn't even because we haven't even had like an argument like when we've you know bickered a few times but like the other day I had to I had to work something in with we were just

kind of walking through something that I knew was possibly going to be triggering for both of us and so I was like all right I'm going to tap into some therapy right now I'm like okay what I heard you said was this and I'm like is there any thing I missed. So that way, you know, and then like, and then what did you hear me say? So it was just like, and we had like the most amazing conversation. And like old school, Jana, it would have been probably like a big fight, you know? Right. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia. And on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television

writer because it does feel oddly like very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a hundred of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sageburn Bridges on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Isn't that cool though when you see yourself grow? And you're like, wow. I had that. I had that recently, too. Like, you know, the ringer of my early 20s and like going from this tiny environment to college, which, you know, in 2000, like, I felt like I was on the set of Can't Hardly Wait or something. Like, it felt like a rom-com. And then to be on our show, which was such a highlight, but to like get chewed up the way women were in that early aughts era, in the tabloids and whatever. And by the way, to have all these other people project. someone else's behavior like onto me and I was like make the person who did the behavior answer for it like I don't want to answer for it stop asking me about it like it it was really traumatizing as a young as a young person and it was hard to go through it so quickly as our show you know was new and whatnot and like recently I felt that part of me get triggered that was like leave me the alone back off stop and i was like oh whoa like that old wound like that pain that 22 23 year old

version of me needs adult me to hold her and let her know that even though she was very alone then and the adults in the room were incredibly terrible to her and made a lot of this stuff worse like i'm the adult in the room now but i was like wow it's been a while since like since i saw her It's been a while since I let her drive the car. Right. And like, okay, really important to check in and be reminded that, like, it's okay to say, it's hard to do what we do. It's hard to be one little human on the receiving end of millions of people's feedback.

It's understandable that that's tough. Let's change our relationship to it for a while. Let's set better boundaries around it. Like, it's an interesting thing as an adult to start reparenting, you know, your younger ourselves because you carry them around in you like little nesting dolls forever well that and like you just the age of you know when we started when i started uh one true hill we didn't have i didn't have an instagram um and so god i wish i could you know there's instagram has has helps me support my children and so for that i'm very grateful um for that platform

and also it's been half the reason why i'm in therapy with because of of the loud noises and the voices and the criticism. And also, you know, we're, you know, I've, faulted in those areas, too. Like, I've been on the other side of it, too. And I'm like, wow, I was just a total hypocrite. Oh, you mean you were a human? You were actually a human who's not perfect all the time, like a robot? Right. But it's, it's just like, everything is so multiplied. And my therapist has really helped me work on because I would just sit and stew and read and like almost like like be like oh i am that person i'm like no that's not who i am and like and so she was she really helped me um with not letting the gas in she's like stop opening

the window to get yeah the gas like she's like you can't breathe it's like why are you you're literally letting the toxins in when you open the window she's like you are and you are doing it she's like i'm not opening the window for you you you're allowing the window to open and i'm like yeah well but you don't understand and it's hard and you like you but in like me i just like always want to like defend myself and like prove that I'm not this person because that's what I felt like I've had to do with my past abusers like prove that I'm not the reason like that I should be hit or this that and the other and so it's like and I've and I don't know if you like you don't want to talk about that's totally fine but like when I've kind of you've obviously had the other

side of you know the criticism and online stuff too with other things and it's like how you've is that why you kind of go offline a little bit at times like I see you on there but then also like It's like, how do you deal with, like, not feeding into that? Because it's, people are negative. People are horrible. And what you realize is it's like, you just don't know. Like, people who saw you with your ex didn't know you were being abused. People who saw me try to, like, build this life that I believed in and that I always wanted

had no idea what it was like to go through the brutality. of a year of fertility. And social media does not know that inside walls, inside the four walls. They don't know how many years you struggle. Yeah. They don't know what you're going to. They don't know any struggle. Alan always says, what's inside our four walls.

That's what matters and that's the truth. We love Alan. We love. Alan is just like my steady, calm, like, anger. Rob calls me the president of the Jana Kramer fan club on Drama Queens. And I know your. clearly the president of the Alan Russell fan club, but I would

like to be your VP and coacher. You got it. And can I be Ashland since she's kind of my lesbian, well, she isn't kind of, she is my lesbian crush, so if I could just have, thanks, girl. Absolutely. Come over. We all need, we need to, like, we need to get the fan back. We can talk football. We can do a double date

and we can talk, well, like, you know, soccer. That's, you know, I have to say football, even though it's soccer. Okay, thank you. It is. Like, it's so weird to me that we have this incredible global sport that is played with feet. Does she call it soccer though even though she's an American I mean it's it's like back

and forth for her she played in Germany she played in Sweden like she's done the whole the whole rigamarole but it's very funny to me that like in America we're like well for the world the game with the feet is football but here we throw a ball around with our hands and we'll call it football because we decided I'm like who did

who did this? Double date coming soon they can just talk. Football. Football. I can't win. This has felt like therapy for me. I'm madly in love with you. I have one million more questions for you about our show, about Alex Dupre, about, I mean, every dreamy Wilmington thing. So let's go do 706. Hey, thanks for listening. Don't forget to leave us a review. You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queen's OTH or email us at Drama Queens at iHeartRadio.com. See you next time. We're all about that high school drama girl, drama girl, all about them high school queens.

We'll take you for a ride in our comic girl. Dramma girl. Cheering for the right team. Drama queens, drama queens, smart girl, rough girl, fashion but you'll tough girl. You could sit with us, girl. Drama queens, drama queens, drama queens, drama queens, drama queens. It may look different, but Native Culture is alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture.

Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other native stories on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.