Drama Queens - Kelli Giddish

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" star Kelli Giddish joins Sophia to reminisce about their early SVU-Chicago P.D. crossover days — find out why she still thanks Sophia in her head every time she goes out to dinner! Plus, Kelli opens up about her scrappy NYC beginnings, a meet-cute you can’t script and why she's not making any long-term plans for SVU.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Welcome back to this week's Work in Progress, friends. I am sitting down with someone I love to watch and that I love to act with. This week's guest is none other than the iconic Kelly Giddish. She has spent over a decade inhabiting one of television's most complex and quietly evolving characters on Law and Order.

SVU. Kelly brings a depth and grit and vulnerability and kindness to Amanda Rawlins in ways that have resonated so far beyond the screen. And off screen, I've been lucky enough to spend some wonderful time with her. And let me tell you something, there is nobody cooler to grab a burger and a beer with than Miss Kelly Goodish. Her journey has been shaped by her early ambition in the South and the grind of New York theater and moments of uncertainty that tested her resolve. And in this conversation, I was just so inspired to hear about the turning points that have defined her path and who she's found in herself in the quiet moments. Kelly has really mastered the art of giving work her all, stepping away to take really

considered time for herself and then diving right back in with her full heart. Let's figure out how she's figured that out. Let's dive in with Kelly Giddish. Well, gosh, hi, my dear. It's so nice to have you here today. Nice to be here. I've just missed you. I can't believe how long it's been.

I know. I know. I think about, I don't know how many times I came over and get to play on Chicago PD's set when you were there. But they were so memorable those times. And like you showed me Chicago and the places to eat. Yeah. In Oshabal, we went to, I don't know if you remember. And now they open one here.

And that's like the only place my husband and I go out to eat here is Oshabal here. And I'm like, well, we can thank Sophia Bush for this because we should have time. I love that. It's been a long time. I'm so happy to see all the things you're into, all of the things you're getting to do. It's really exciting following what you're doing. Thanks, honey. It's so nice.

And yeah, it was, oh, it was so. much fun when you guys came to visit and I always had the best time coming to work on your set. I mean, you just run such a great ship, all of you over on SVU. Congratulations on it. I think so too. It's a really, it's a really nice place to work. Yeah. Oh, it's the best. And especially in this, in this environment, this atmosphere, this time where they're like, oh yeah, the show, it's a great show. You read the script. you're like excited about everyone who's involved. You know, maybe it's a new possibility.

And they're like, and it's going to be in Dublin. And you're like, oh. Oh. Yeah. You know, or just Budapest or Winnipeg or, you know, and you're just like, oh, my God, this is my 15th season of SVU. So I've been, I've gotten to be in New York, you know, and raised my little family here and not have to worry about that.

And that's, that's work. So much to me, you know. Oh, totally. I mean, it's really interesting. I've always had to pick up and go for work. And it's so tough. Yeah. And I think to be in a city that you actually live in getting to do what you love to do,

it really, it's kind of like winning the lottery. Yeah, it's huge. You don't factor that in when you're 28 years old. And you're like, yeah, whatever. Texas? When do I come? Sure. So you're rich for a month.

Yeah, no problem. You know, now you'd be like, I need a kitchenette, first of all. Like, whatever, you know. Also, my kids are in school. Wait, what? Yeah, it's totally, totally different from the priorities you have in your 20s, as they should be. Yeah. But that was fun then, too, like getting to hop around on different jobs.

Totally. You got to be part of the circus. And that was, that was so much fun, you know. Oh, I love it. So many different places, work with so many different crews, beautiful, awesome crews. You know, it's like not everything, you know, not everything revolves around New York, you know. And sometimes it feels that way, I think, to people, when you live here and you work here, you're like, well, everything is here, you know, and it doesn't. And there's so many, there's so many talented and beautiful, beautiful, especially crews and just cast members.

And, like, you know, when they do local casting and when I worked in Georgia, I was like, God, the hair and makeup crew there, you know, it's from Georgia. in like getting to walk in first thing in the morning and hear a southern accent here, you know, like they're eating the same kind of breakfast I grew up on. So that was always great. Yeah, I had such a similar experience in North Carolina. I mean, it's, it is really special to get to go and plug into these other pockets. And I, at least for me, I feel like it's kind of the both and. It's so great. And it's hard to. leave your family and your home. You're so lucky and you're trying to navigate something really difficult given the hours that we work. But I love that you've been able to go home a little bit

and work, you know, in your adulthood. When you think about growing up in Georgia, I'll never forget, you know, talking with you over burgers. And you said this thing that really stuck with me that I think is, it's the way you phrase it. You say that you were a latchkey kid with a lot of freedom, like running around there. And I just wonder, what was your childhood like? What was Georgia like when you were eight or nine years old? What were you into performing already? Can you give us a little childhood peak? Yeah. I mean, I played softball, you know, like my dad was the coach of my softball team. So I was the one that had to call every girl in the roster and say, okay, practice is not canceled today, even though it's raining, we're all going

to meet up, you know, be there, leave a message. And I had to make notations, you know, as the coach's daughter there. But then also, I guess it was around that time that, like, I was in an elementary school that, you know, that I don't, in my mind, the library was like the size of Madison Square Garden and like the roofs were so huge and beautiful. And, and, and, and, Miss Gotsie was the librarian, and I just thought she was magical. And just she curated, you know, so many experiences for all, all different kinds of kids. But for me, like she, I think she saw a little bit of like a performing little thing. And so she kind of mentioned it to somebody else in the county, Forsyth County.

And then they kind of mentioned it to somebody else. And they go, well, you know, we're doing a community play, the Belvedeen Rapids. She should try out. So my mom asked me, she was like, hey, they, they, they, they, they. think maybe you'd like to do this. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, what do I have to do? And, you know, they go, you have to audition. I was like, me, okay. What does that mean? You know, so I sang, do your ears think? For my first audition, I think. And I got the part of the boat. So did pretty good on that one. But, you know, it's like, then I ended up doing, you know,

another play with that community group. And I found a person that totally changed my life. And she was huge in the community. This woman named Yatesie Harvey, who taught at the high school there. And, you know, my mom, my mom was a teacher in the county. And so I moved over to her high school. That theater teacher taught there. And so I got to kind of go 9th through 12th with this woman who was a fireball, just a complete fireball. And, I learned everything I needed to know. I mean, that blessed my my college, but I, she prepared me for like a life of performing, like to take it super seriously. You know, she, she, she edged, she brought us to New York. She, you know, she showed us how to act in a theater as an audience member. She showed us what it meant to really care about to, you know, and that kind of thing. But like, even when I was a little kid, you know, it's like if I wasn't on my bike at like 5 p.m., my parents were, what are you doing home? You know?

What are you? And like my other friend had a go cart that we figured out how to, how to make the gas like loosen up so that you could go faster. Oh, yeah. And we crashed it. I mean, it was like there, we were always, there was a creek behind my house that I got to go and make bridges over. And, you know, it's just like building forts like that kind of, that kind of thing.

So I see my kids now and I'm like, okay, piano on Tuesday, ceramics on Wednesday. I'm like, I don't know if I did an after school, like structured activity. I don't know if I did that until really, like I did softball, but, you know, you look at the kids now and it's like so much of their time is structured playtime, you know, and it's so different. It's just it's a different, a different thing. Like I had to call my dad when I got home from school at like eight and just be like, okay, I made it home, you know, and then I would be like, all right, what snacks am I going to do? Yeah.

into here. That's that's kind of what it was like growing up. It was it was absolutely a beautiful place to grow up northern Georgia. Hickin farms and cows and you know, it's like all kinds of local lore about different different parts of the county. You could like go on and like all these different mystical tales about what had gone on in different areas. And yeah. So that was it was it was a really, really beautiful. And all of my immediate family was down there. So I got to I spend a lot of time in my grandmamas, you know, and, you know, my aunt's, my cousins, and, you know, so it was really kind of idyllic. I love that.

Yeah. It's so special. And you're right. It's a weird thing. I hear you on watching your kids and seeing how different time is, you know, I think about when I was a kid, we did a stint in Central California in a really small town. And, like, we get. are my parents' closest friends and their kids.

And like, we'd go to the creek on Fridays and catch frogs and, like, sit out and watch the sunset. And I realize even for me now, if I don't structure a break, like, if I don't put, take a walk in my calendar, I won't go outside. And I'm like, wait, like, I'm a nature kid. How did this happen? Everything is so different in such a strict. way. But yeah, man, the idea that we have to structure our play is so surreal. It's been, it's been a lot of fun at this stage in my life. Because I have a 10 and a 7 year old. They're not old. But I also now have a 2 year old. So it's like as soon as you learn how to walk, we'd get up.

And you know, you don't have to have a plan with the 1 or 2 year old. You just kind of go and look at rocks or dirt. Yeah. It's like, that is one thing I love about New York. You don't really have to have a plan if you don't want to. Like if you're ever feeling down, like even in your 20s or whatever, like if you're ever feeling like, ah, you just go out for a walk. Just go outside. It's great.

It's like, it's weird because you'll all of a sudden you'll meet up with someone that you were thinking about like that you had five years. And you're like, oh my God, I was just thinking about you. Let's go get some coffee. Like what are you doing on the street here? Yes. And it's, you conjure. You conjure these things up, you know?

It's like they happen. Well, that's so interesting. You know, you talk about the kind of mystical magical of Northern Georgia, and there's a mystical magical in New York. There is. So in my brain, I was going to ask you, was it a crazy culture shock when you moved to start pursuing acting? But I actually wonder if, as different as the cities are,

if you felt that kind of similarity in the magic of the two places. Yeah, I mean, I think I, my head, I'm very, you know, like a lot of people, I'm just very adaptable to new, new places. It was, like, I remember my first morning after moving to New York, I woke up in Chelsea where I'd rented a futon in someone's apartment for five months a night, a month. And I go down the steps and I'm like, New York, you know, here I am. Let's go. When I looked down and there's like an 18-inch black dildo with like crack files. I was like, well, okay. You know, it was just like, boom, reality, you know.

And I was like, I can deal with that too. You know, it's like, okay, so someone had a great time here or, you know, last night. I'm going to go get my coffee and bagel. But yeah, I was, I don't, culture shock doesn't really happen to me. Like, I've always loved traveling. I've always loved being like a stranger in a strange land, you know. Yeah. Like even other countries and that kind of thing, I never minded like being by myself traveling, you know, and taking it all in.

Like it's, that's just, I love doing that. I do too. I love, I love knowing that about you. Yeah. I find it so exciting to get to a new place and figure out what it's all about, especially if it's different than where I've been. Same. Same. And my dad is still like a love of maps, you know, so it's just like me with the map in a new city.

It's like, it's heaven to me. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Well, when you, you know, you moved to New York, obviously, you have a pretty wild initial career. Like, immediately you're on stage opposite Farrah Fawcett. Then you're working on all my children. I mean, you did over 100 episodes on that. And then you get on to SVU.

like did it just feel like one thing after another or were there all those days that we know as actors of like pounding the pavement and chasing the thing that other people don't see? Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, like I remember when I first moved here, like I got kicked out at the $500 a month apartment. She was like, okay, it's time for you to go. And I was like, oh. Okay.

Yeah. Uh-huh. And so I was working as a waitress, you know, like at a, at a little restaurant around the corner making $40 a night. I was like, this is not going to, this is not sustainable. And I'm like, I don't know what I don't know what I'm going to do. And I'm taught, I'm like, I'm in kind of tears because I'm like, I don't know. And, you know, one of my regulars that, you know, me and old men have always gotten along.

He's like, he's like, what's wrong? And I go, I don't have any place to live, you know. And he's like, well, my housekeeper has a place. It's 500 bucks a month. It's right up the road. And I go, yes. So like, I take that. And, you know, but in the meantime, I was always like, you know, I waited tables and did all that.

But like, I always had friends here from college, right, you know, playwrights and that kind of thing that I would do Blackbox theater. And that stuff I'd give my whole hard mind into, you know, and like being able to to figure out how to make that work, you know, make enough money like on the weekends so that I could audition during the week and go to rehearsals for another thing at night and do all that. you know, it's, of course, you don't regret a second of it. It was the funest time, you know, of your life where you're living in like a crap hole and just like, just like working, working so hard on these plays and like these new things, like trying to make it work and figuring out like, and I, I, throughout all of it, I always believed work begets work no matter what it was, you know? And at some moment, I was like, well, there's nothing for me to be.

be in right now. I'm going to write and, you know, and I ended up writing this one woman's show and somebody from all my children had come to see that. And that's how I got back. It was like, I know, I know that work begets work. That's all I know. So all I have to do is keep working in some kind of fashion. And, you know, whether it's, whether it's the mindset that, you know, just like, just like playing guitar or something, you have to keep, keep that up. You know, you have to keep up your chops, whether it's that, you know, and you just keep the momentum moving forward. Yeah. Whether it's just trying to put yourself in places to be seen.

I think it's both of those, you know, because no one's going to see you if you're not out there, you know, of course. So I, throughout any hard times, I always just believed, I was like, work but gets work. So whatever kind of work it is, you know, like if it's a reading, if it's this, if it's that, like it's going to lead to something else, you know. Yeah. I love that. It's like the idea that the muse has to find you working.

Yeah. You know, I remember there's that, there's a great book called The War of Art. Yeah. That was based on the art of war. And it's like the idea that if you just continue making things to make will continue finding you, I think there's something really powerful in that. I do too. How do you kind of balance, though, then, you know, always being at work, especially when you've been on a series for so long.

And then the periods where you do want or need a break, where you do want to go somewhere with your family or work on something else for a moment of freshness. Like, how do you grapple with those things? It's super hard because I have three kids. So if I, if work that isn't paying the bills is not like, if I'm on a break from that, then I'm like, okay, full on, mom, you have me every second, every, every hour, every day, you know. And I'm trying to get better about that, you know, like setting some time aside for just my mind for just to, for just staring off that in the, you know, into space at the wall. and being open for the muse or whatever.

But it is, that's, it's really hard balancing that. And like just daydreaming and then making the conversations happen and the meetings happen that, you know, somebody tells you of an idea or like you come up with something and it won't leave you alone. And actually, you know, honoring that to go after it and to keep, to keep cultivating it. I definitely think it's a skill, a learning. learned skill that, you know, like I said, I'm trying to get better at at honoring that. Because it's, it's really easy when you're, when you do feel like you have a job that fulfills you.

And I get to go to work every day and I get to, you know, figure out some kind of puzzle. And that's satisfying to me, you know. Yeah. And there's, there's also a ton of other stuff I want to do. There's different worlds. I want to, you know, different characters. I want to inhabit, different people I want to work with. So, but like I said, work begets work.

And right now I'm doing, I'm doing like, it just feels really good where I am, getting to be the mom that I get to be. And all of that stuff at the end of the day, I fall asleep very well. Like my head lays on the pillow very nicely at night, you know, like the things that I feel like I'm getting done. And, you know, it's like, you know, you need to set, set some more time aside to just, daydream and, you know, and like have those conversations follow up on those, on those inklings of things that you're like, that's, that's something, you know, and I have done that.

You know, and it hasn't gone very far yet, but, you know, it's going to. And I'm going to keep working at it. And like, and working with Marischka and seeing all the things that she's, you know, it took her a long time to make a movie about her mom. And she did it. But it took her a very, very long time to get to a place where it was possible, you know, for a heart, for a brain. And things come at the right time. You know what I mean? But it's certainly nice working with a good role model like that, you know, who's a few years ahead of me that I'm like, okay, all right, I see you, you know, like that's when you did that. That's the decade that comes, you know, and that's kind of, that's kind of awesome being a woman and just seeing another powerful

woman get after it and do the things that make her happy. So I'm totally so happy. I have her as a role model. Well, and I think, you know, for you certainly at work and in your friendship, but I would say that that ripple effects out, you know, also having worked there and seeing it for your crew, when you have someone like her in the position of number one on the call sheet, the world is so vastly different from what it could be without her. Absolutely. And a person who leads like that and manages to bring such professionalism and also such humor into a space where, like, y'all are dealing with a lot of really heavy stuff.

Yeah. And you manage to laugh a lot on that set. And I think that's really profound. I do too. And now for our sponsors. Experience Harry Styles. Live in London, England at Wembley Stadium. This is Harry Stiles.

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Every day is another chance to see Harry Stiles. Very excited to see you with the show. Kiss all the time, disco occasionally available now. This segment is brought to you by Miracle Grow. My friends and family know I am literally obsessed with the great outdoors and obsessed with my garden. My place at home has almost 50 fruit trees, lavender plants, herbs, even an apiary with 100,000 bees. Yes, friends, if you've been living under a rock, I am a beekeeper and it is truly my favorite hobby. I started building out a garden in a really small way.

I'm talking about a little patch with a couple of herbs, and then I got a tomato plant, and then I spent the next five years going crazy, and I built myself my own little wonderland. And being out there brings me so much peace, especially when I'm getting down in the dirt. I think gardening is such a special hobby because it becomes part of your lifestyle. You get to grow food and you get to give it away and you get to really be reminded how magical it is being outside. I love watching the birds and watching my plants grow and and feeling like I'm really in rhythm with nature, with the seasons. And, you know, I get a thrill every once in a while having to chase a neighborhood critter out of the yard because let me tell you what, they come after my

fruit and they got to go. But now that I'm spending an awful lot more time on the East Coast, bless my West Coast roommates for attending to my garden while I am gone, You know I had to start a garden over here. My latest project, I'm deep in research to figure out, I might need a greenhouse, guys. It gets cold here, and I still want to grow tomatoes and herbs and other plants all year round, even in the snow. So in case you're ever wondering what I'm doing when I can't sleep, I am in a research rabbit hole learning every single thing I can about growing in the winter. This is new for me, so I have been going full dirt nerd to find out what I can use to set my plants up for success. I am not an experienced snow grower, but give me a few years and I think I'm going to do great. I've really started realizing how important things are that I didn't think about as much on the West Coast like erration and moisture control and the quality of my potting mix. I mean, that is so, so important to growing. It's exponentially more important when you're dealing with serious variations in temperature.

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I'm so excited to experiment and figure out what I need to get this just right. And I am also trying to decide which plants I should grow and what lighting sources will be my best. I'm honestly so thrilled that Miracle Grow is joining the work in progress family because now I get to ask the experts. Gardening is and always will be its own work in progress, but that's what makes it fun. Head to MiracleGrow.com to check out all of their easy-to-use products and start your growth journey today. I'm curious about that for you, too, you know, because you've been playing Amanda Rollins since 2007.

You know, you're coming up on 20 years here, which is so crazy. And in the middle of that, as you've discussed, you became a mom, you know, for the first time 10 years ago. And I really wonder, I've said it, I think you guys do a really great job of taking the material very seriously as it deserves. to be. And as a cast, you have such a great group. You managed to find such levity. I mean, I've done some of my favorite acting and then also, like, laughed the hardest I've ever laughed on set with you guys. Yeah.

Like, do you think that being able to do both at work when you're playing a character who is immersed in so much hardship, you know, trauma, heavy stuff? Did the duality you guys? Did the duality you guys have on set help you keep the light side at home as a mom? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And people people are like, are you, do you parent scared? I'm like, no, like my, no, like my kids, a lot of free, they're like, how can you let him do that working on the show you work on? And I'm like, that, that doesn't. It's not. I like, yeah, you can't live scared just because you're immersed in these horrible stories, you know, on a day-to-day basis. And I rarely ever, like, bring that, that side of my work home. So it definitely helps. I know when I've taken breaks from the show,

the biggest thing I find that I miss is the belly laughs that we have on set. Yeah. But I, like, I certainly didn't have an actor as a mom. And I don't, it's got to be annoying at points for my I'm so sorry. I'm like, I, you know, because I give it to them, you know, and it's they, they roll with it. And, you know, we laugh a lot and there's a lot of different characters they get to see and a lot of different funny voices, just like every mom does out there, you know. Yeah. Like today I go, I was doing like, I was doing like, oh my gosh, I forgot my external hard driver at work. Oh, and I was like, was like, was that good acting guys?

And they were like, no, that was terrible. Oh, my God. You're like, oh, my God, mom, you're a shmacked her. Yeah, so I tried it again. And they were like, that's terrible, terrible. And I go, okay, your turn. And like, we're trying to get out the door to go to school. We're late.

You know what I mean? But we take the moment to, like, get the moment, the acting downright for leaving your external charger at work and not being able to whatever. So it's just like, it's, you know, that's, that, hopefully it's fun for them, you know. Yeah. And it certainly does like the level of play that that you do at work, it definitely carries over when you come home for sure. Yeah, totally. Oh, I have found that, especially for me loving voice work as much as I do.

And, you know, having been lucky enough to play a character in a Pixar movie, it's like now I'm lucky enough to live with these two magical little humans, thanks to my partner. And oh my God, like I turn out, I do full Pixar movies. when we read books every night with like voices and characters and the creepy, crawly little witch and they, you know, and she's just like, who are all these people? And I'm like, I don't know, it's just coming out of me. I don't know. They love it. Yeah, and it's like all those years of theater school, you think you did and left there? Oh, they're in, they're in us. Nope, they're there. They're there. They're there. Is how old are they? Five and three and a half. Oh, perfect. It's so fun. Aubrey Plaza. Oh, my God, the funniest, which is the joy of my life.

Aubrey Plaza wrote this great Halloween book about a little girl on a block who becomes friends with the witch who lives across the street. Oh, wonderful. And like, oh, man, you've got to read it. That book is a big hit in our house and doing all the little voices is so fun. That's great. Yeah. I feel like being an actor gives you really great play skills at home. Like, you can just make anything into an improv game.

Yeah. Yeah. exactly. And a lot of times, like if oldie, the little one, if he's like really upset, I mean, just totally not reachable, you know, like, then I'll pretend like his voice is knocking me down, you know, and like all of a sudden I'm crawling across the kitchen, you know, and it's just like, at least I got that. Like I got that in my toolkit to make him laugh, you know what I mean? And being that parent is, you know, I may, I may mess up a lot of other stuff, but at least I can reach him and make him laugh.

when things are getting hairy inside of his brain. It's so fun. Yeah. How is it having such a little one with two bigger kids? Like, do they love having the baby around? Are they? Oh, that's great. It's magic.

And like, my two, oldie burst onto the scene and he was like, heard you needed a baby in the family. You know what I mean? He was like, got it, got it, got it, got it. But also, to be honest, it's frustrating. because we can't ever play the same board game. So it's like the age difference is, I mean, they doad on him. They take care of him.

They're such good big brothers. He can throw a spiral and dunk and, you know what I mean? Like way ahead of their two-year-old I've seen. So he's advanced in a lot of that thing, in a lot of those things. But like, find a board game. Absolutely not. A two-year-old's going to swallow the pieces of the board game. You can't even, you can't open those boxes anymore.

Exactly. Yeah, I guess that's. the first challenge. Find a board game in my house with all the pieces intact. That would be the first. Yeah. That's that's not me. Organization is not my not my strong suit. But it is. It's frustrating. And so like when you find a show, you know, or a movie that you can all watch, sit down and watch for for a while and everyone is like engaged, it's like it's a win. It's like, oh my God. Everyone's actually doing the same thing all at once, you know. So that's when the pool, you know, or like going outside. you know, like going for walks. That's those things everyone can do and everyone has a different interest level in something.

And we're all doing something together, though. Totally. So it's those kind of things that you have to find. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah. Thank God it's finally getting warm out here too, right? This winter was so tough. I, well, last week, I think it got up to like 70 for a day.

Mm-hmm. I called my husband. I dropped the two-year off at school and I was like, he didn't answer. He was doing something. And so I was like, I just want to tell you, I'm so grateful for you and for the boys. And like, I love our life. And this is so great. All right.

Have a good day. And I'm like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, the sun is out. The sun's out. Yeah. My seasonal effect of depression is starting to wane. Yes. It's so crazy.

How much it affects everyone. But like, for me, I was just like, what is going? Oh, that's right. It's above 30. Yes. Yes. I can walk outside without my snot freezing in my nose. That's correct. Yeah. But I still love the seasons, you know, like I still love going through all of it because it really makes you create the crocus and the daffodils coming up. And, you know, it makes it all special because you've waited for it for so long. I love it. Just starting to see, you know, where I am, the birds are all starting to come back. We just saw our first pack of turkeys, you know, moving through. the property the other day. And I was like, oh my God, they're all home. Everyone's coming home. You know, it's really, it is really sweet. The little things are not so little. You know what I mean? It makes your whole day better. You mentioned your sweet husband, Bo. You guys met while you were at

SVU. Like, and forgive me, I know we've talked about this, but I feel like it's probably been 10 years since the last time we had a beer together. Remind me of your meat cute story. So he was, he was, he was driving me. And I, like, it's, we didn't even talk that much in the car. You know what I mean? And I, I was going through a divorce, much when he met me. And like, we didn't really, we didn't really even talk, like, personal stuff.

We just played music in the car. And it was just like a beautiful little oasis of peace and calm. And his taste of music was really good, you know? And like, I was like, oh, my gosh. And then the divorce was happening. And so that I was leaving that behind. And then he kind of emerged as like, oh, I'm like, I kind of want more of that. You know, and it just kind of, it just kind of slowly bloomed into something really special and really

like, I'm like, oh, this is my person. I totally get it. I want to rely on and I want him to rely on me and I want to be, like, I'm going to be a bigger, better person with this guy beside me. And that, that to me is like, I mean, the biggest thing you can say for your relationship is just, just wanting to be better so that you can make them better

and you know and like knowing you go through really hard stuff with someone and they're just they're going to be right beside you and it's who you want rubbing your back you know it's

the back you want to rub you know and it's yeah I'm so I'm so grateful the sun is shining but I am I'm so grateful so we had we had a sun together almost three years ago.

And now we had this beautiful little blended family that's just, it's a lot of boys and a lot of balls in the house. And it's just, we're rolling along. And time, it's crazy how fast time goes. But, you know, it's like these kids have known him since he was little and now, you know, as their stepfather. And, you know, he really embraces that role in a beautiful way. And he's embraced fatherhood to oldie in such a beautiful way.

And, you know, seeing that, it's, I, like, you're, I'm just still excited for what's to come, even though, like, we've done the big milestones of having a baby and gotten married. Like, now it's like, okay, now, like, the meat of the relationship starts, you know? It's like the falling in love and everything like that. That's beautiful. But it's like, I said to him the other day, I was like, that's kind of the easy part, you know? Like now is we get to make our relationship what it's going to be, you know, in 10, 20 years. And all that work is exciting, exciting for me.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I feel like everything you're saying, I'm like, in that part, and that part, and that part, in that part. I think there's a really profound thing that can happen when you have the courage to say, oh, the checklist we all get handed isn't, I don't think it's my list. Like I did it, but I don't think it's for me.

And I think when you wind up in community with people that are having their versions of that experience, magic can come out of that. I know that it did for me. And there is something really special, I think, about recalibrating your life to what brings you joy, not just falling in line and doing the thing that everyone told you to do. Yeah, it's like it's so, I don't know if you feel this, but I feel like I'm living the most normal version of my life I've ever lived, and it's also the most exciting. Yes, same, same.

It's crazy, right? Yeah. Because it's like, if you had written it down, it would have been like, wait, what? Then I fall in love with my driver. And now we get to work at the same place. And then we have another, I have three children in that life. Are you serious? Like I'm the mom to three kids.

That's crazy. Right. If you told me that at, yeah. If you told me that at 25 or do you know or whatever, it's, it's. And now it's like I'm, I don't know, I've carved it out. And I'm, I'm so, I don't know, I'm so happy. and like the things that I have to make decisions on are so wildly, so wildly normal, you know, like you have to make them together with a partner and, and, and then you have to,

you have to worry about your kids and like all of the, all the things you're doing good and all the things you're messing up and the finite amount of time you have with them at home. Like, I never, I don't know, you just, like, because when I was, when I got my driver's license at 16, My parents, like, we were laughing about it the other day. They were like, we never saw you after that. Yeah, bye. Yeah, super tight. And I don't remember calling them when I was in college.

Like, I, like, they were just always there for me. And I, like, I loved speaking with them. I loved going back home to visit. But it was just like, they were always just the net for me. And, you know, hopefully that's how I can be for my kids. But I'm like, but they have to call me a lot. I don't know they can't be like I was you know and being in England and traveling the world and just not just you know they have to email but it's like we didn't we didn't even do any of that you know it's like life 360 like that didn't that stuff didn't exist no way I was so similar I went to college and you know my mom and I have talked about this more recently but you know I finally was like you were really but hurt that I didn't call you more and she was like well, you know, we were just so close and you left.

And I was like, mom, like, you got to reframe that. You did a good job. You raised me to be an independent kid. And then I was independent. Like, aren't you glad I wasn't, like, calling you to clean up my messes and asking you for money and shit? And then she was kind of like, oh. Oh. I was like, that's a sign you did well as a mom.

And she was kind of like, oh, I never thought about it that way. And we had a really good giggle, you know. I go with that reframing, mom. Yeah, you know, serving, serving kind of in the role in my household that, you know, Bo does in yours, like, now my mom knows these kids that are in my world. And she's, you know, she's so, gosh, she's so sweet with them. And then there's these moments where I'll be talking about like a leap, you know, some verbal leap or some streak of independence about something.

And she's like, oh, gee, wonder what that's karma for. And I'm like, mm-hmm. You know, they're like, no, let me help you. I know you can do it yourself, but let me help you. I love, I love, like, doing things with you. And my mom's like, get ready. Wait, do they get a driver's license? So it's that, I think, for sure.

Super big karma coming back at us. But in a good way. That means we've done a good job. That part. That part. And now a word from our sponsors that I really enjoy, and I think you will too. Live in London, England at Wembley Stadium. This is Harry Styles.

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Kiss all the time, disco occasionally available now. You know, you were mentioning how cool it is. You couldn't have seen it coming, which, wow, do I understand that in my bones. But, you know, now you get to work with your man. You've built this big family. You know, SVU in its own way, I would imagine, feels like a family. It's your other home. It's your other world.

Sure. And then, you know, it's also work. And work can be complicated. Like, you know, as things are, you, you know, clearly love it and you all love each other and you've you've talked about how there were tougher seasons and there were moments where you were all in and moments where you were kind of out not you know by choice like we all know what that's like in the world of creativity right how did you take a break that felt weird and figure out how to make it feel amazing like did you touched on it a little bit earlier I'm

curious, do you feel like it gave you the space to recalibrate priorities? Did it give you the space to try a creative thing you hadn't tried? Because you seemed, at least from the outside from somebody who likes to cheerlead, you seemed like you made incredible strides during that time. So in reflection, does it feel like that? Yes, it does. I mean, the break that I took coincided with the birth of my third baby now in the first two i had breastfed on set i yeah like um like for one of them i i was back doing a dr week after giving birth like back filming like four weeks after you know and i'm i'm i'm a workhorse like i love i'm i'm good at i'm good at showing up i'm good at long hours i'm good i'm just i'm good at working i like yeah i like it um but when i didn't have a call sheet coming

to my inbox every morning and you're like, oh, there's no plan for me today. I get to make my own plan. You know, that's when I started lifting weights a lot. Wow. After, I swear it was like, I love doing that. Like actually finding that, you know, like in your 20s and 30s, you're just like running on the track or like on the treadmill, you know, like actually like really making myself strong, like really strong physically. and like pursuing an opportunity to sell a show, you know, and to go out on pitches for this show that I absolutely loved based on this book.

And then all these conversations happened about like starting up this, I did this show called The Berg, which is like, it was like one of the first internet shows. Like SAG didn't even know what to do. They were like, we don't know what to do. Like it was, that was really fun. I've kept those, the, the creators of that show close to, to me, close to my heart. And then they're the funniest people I know. And like, just circling back with them and going, hey, what are you guys up to?

Like, like, what, let's, let's see if this has any more life in it, you know? And like, so that's an ongoing thing. And, like, I think just learning those lessons of, of, it's, it's okay to make your own schedule. Like, you're good at this, you know? Like, you get, you get. you get shit done. It's okay. You know, and like getting to be at home with a baby. Yeah. Just at home. Yeah. You know, and like watching a Rick Rubin documentary at 12 o'clock in the afternoon if I want to with the baby. You know what I mean? Like that felt I've never, I haven't done that.

Like I've been working. I've been working for since forever. So to kind of be able to, that was the big thing I learned is that you you can make your own schedule pretty well and you make good use of your time. It's okay. It's okay if you don't get a call sheet in your inbox every morning. Do you feel like, did you have a kind of template for your schedule or was it different every day? And the reason I ask is because I like you, am a great workhorse. I love to show up. Tell me where to be. Tell me what to do. I'm all in. I'll figure out how to make it fun. I'll probably get a snack truck. Like, that's my vibe. And I find that unscheduled time is my, it's the most exciting thing to me and also my biggest source of panic because the list of things like

the Rick Rubin documentary and everything else that I haven't had time to do that I want to do is so overwhelming that then I can't decide what to do. Yes. So like, how'd you do it? Did you have certain days you did certain things on to give it a cadence? or like what's the inside scoop on how you learned how to manage your time? Well, the gym and the sauna were the priority. You know what I mean? That was the priority. And like as long as, you know,

and like I would do that during nap time. So I wasn't missing oldie time. You know what I mean? So it's like, so I didn't have mom guilt about going to take care of myself because it was during the morning nap. He was asleep anyway. Yeah.

So then you get to go out to the park and then you get to schedule a meeting in the afternoon nap. Right. So I never, because the mom guilt is crushing for me. Like, I don't know what it did it. I'm like, it's fine. You're there.

You're there. You're right there. Yeah. It doesn't. It's, it's very hard to let go of that for me. So I think, you know, it's like scheduling meetings and knowing, you know, like knowing that I had to give myself time to prepare for that meeting the day before or two hours before, you know, to kind of go off on a tangent and write some new ideas, you know, to bring

to that meeting to, you know, like, yeah, because I know I need, I need 30 minutes of time to, like, settle down. And then I'll work for like an hour, hour and a half. And then I'm like, okay, who's missing me? You know what I mean? And then I come back out of it, you know? So it's like, I know my cadence about, like, about, it's like when you go on vacation. You need like two days to calm down to like settle in. You're like, okay, let's go do something. Let's not do something. You don't care at that point because you're already settled in. You're like, We can go on the boat or we can not. I really give a shit less.

Yeah. And then like you come home and you need a day to do it. You know, it's like it's a same kind of thing, you know? So it's like just knowing how much time like it takes for me to kind of get in the headspace. Like that that's super important to me. But yeah, the gym was super important. And then like scheduling things in the afternoon where I knew like the kids were already taking care of. They were already doing their own thing.

They didn't need me. So then I'd be back for, you know, even if I didn't leave the house, I'd be back, you know, in the mix for homework and dinner and all of that. That's so cool. It's like you figured out how to take the nap trap and make it work for you. Yeah. And now this little guy is like, he's barely taking nap. So now I'm just like, ah, okay. All right. We've got preschool in the morning. That's what we've got three and a half hours. Go and get it done. But I do feel that pressure of like, okay, you've got three and a half hours. Preschool last. Three and a half. What do you want to accomplish? You know? And you're just like, it's okay. Guys, like the arc's behind me. It's like there's maybe nothing. Maybe I just want to read. Yeah. Maybe I want to go for a walk. Unscheduled free time. Unstructured playtime for Kelly. Who could imagine it? Oh, my God.

Yeah, I've got a friend who twice a week blocks unmovable meeting do not overlap in her calendar. And it's just unstructured time. And she said to me, if I do not save the time, I'll fill it. And I just thought that was pretty genius. That is smart. Yeah. Very smart. Well, you got in your groove and then you showed back up for season 27.

Yeah. What was that like? Like, what felt like a homecoming? What felt new? I know the show has its first ever female showrunner now, which is so cool. Huge. So what, like, what's it like? Right.

And we've got Brenna Malloy, who is the producing director. I don't know if we've ever had a female producing director. And I am so, I'm so in love with it. with her and how she directs and how she runs the set. Yeah. And like she calls you like on your poop. You know what I mean? She's like, you know how you were doing it?

Let's get back to that. And you're like, wow. Awesome. Thank you. You know what I mean? So it's just like you have to be present in the moment, every take. And that's exciting for me. Whenever she gets to direct, I'm like thrilled.

I'm like, oh God, it's in front of his episode. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know it's you're in for a treat and you know you're going to do good work. And like so much of it was just like being back with the crew. I love that crew. I love it. I love them.

I love them. I love that I love our camera. I love our sound department. I love wardrobe. I love makeup. I love every, love props. I love.

It's just I have so much love for all those people. All the hours we spend with them and all the things that we've all gone through over all of these years that we've all worked together. together. You know, I mean, like, I wonder about films, you know, because like they set up a circus for three months, six months, and then it blooms and it grows and then it just, you know, you never see those people again, you know? It's like, I'm going to take it for what, for what I can find that I love about it, which is just I get to see these people year after year and their kids have graduated middle school and high school and then college and gotten married, you know what I mean? And it's

there's so few friendships I think that we all have from from when we were little like this I have that with these people so a lot of it felt like really really really good I haven't done one single thing to my dressing room there's still stock stock paintings up there there's still a ugly rug and I'm just like I refuse to do anything that that stakes my claim in this particular place because it could be very, very temporary, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with it. Yeah. It is what it is.

And the nature of the beast, I totally understand. And the way the business is changing and moving. And it's absolutely insane, all the things that I think that all the suits are having to juggle. I do think it's crazy, you know. Yeah. Their numbers look probably a lot different. And so I'm okay with it just being what it is right now this month, this season, you know, and we'll see about next season.

But who knows, you know? I'm grateful for this year. I think when you're in such a good place in your life and your workplace feels so healthy and everything feels like it's rooted in something good, it's so, I don't want to say it's easy. I think it's easier to hold all that goodness with an open hand. Yeah. Yeah. You know.

Clenching at all. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, I don't know. It's just so nice to see you so happy. Oh, thanks. You too. I'm really happy to see how successful this has been.

I think it's such a perfect thing for you because you've always asked such great questions and inquisitive and been such a good host. I think you're the best. And you always show me such a nice time every time I've seen you. And so I'm really, really happy to see you. Me too. to we'll have to plan a non-Zoom hang soon since I'm on your coast. Sounds good. Well, I have to ask you my very favorite question to ask everyone.

Yes. You know, things feel so good for you and so in the right place. And I'm curious from this moment, you know, as you look around at your life, as you look at the rest of the year ahead, what feels like you're work in progress right now? My work in progress is to really to carve out more time where you are, you're just, you can be an island for a little while, you know, and all that, all that space and all that stuff happening inside my head, you know, and because I love my mind, you know what I mean? and just to get some time to access that and not have to be any, you know, at the, at the, the school door at 745 and the other school door at 820 and then make sure that he had to have a sandwich and make sure that there's, yeah, house and oh my gosh, there's no goldfish

for his lunch and oh my, I can't believe I forgot the cucumbers and they really want cinnamon rolls tomorrow morning. I like to just leave, leave some of that. know that these are really good boys. My husband's really happy. Like everybody's in a good place and I can go, okay, I think that there's some, there's some, there's some stuff to carve out of me now, you know, and, and it'll happen. Like, it's a work in progress, but it's there. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Well, congrats on everything. And to play piano. I need that's a work in progress. I'm taking lessons. So that's a big work progress. That's on my list too, and I still haven't done it. It's so fun to do it. It's so fun. I play the same thing over and over and over and

my family is like, oh, that's great. Mom, that's really good. Congratulations. You did it. I'm like, nailed it again. Look at me. I'm an artist. Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, congrats on everything. Just so, so happy for you. Thank you for you, for you too. It's nice. to see your face. You too. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.