Drama Queens - Work in Progress: Heather McMahan

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

Her motto in fourth grade was, 'If you can believe it and dream it, you can do it!' And Heather McMahan has done it! She's got a standup special streaming on Hulu right now, is on the road with her Bamboozled comedy tour, and is the host of her own popular podcast, "Absolutely Not!" The comedian joins Sophia to discuss life on the road, the inspiration behind her podcast, and why hosting awards red-carpet shows is the wildest experience ever, but she has a bigger goal in sight . . . hosting the big show itself - The Emmys! Yes, she's manifesting! Plus, Heather opens up about how losing her Dad impacted her comedy, how grief can expand one's capacity for joy, and how she knew her husband was the 'right one.'Heather's comedy special, "Breadwinner," is streaming on Hulu now, and for info on how to see her live and in person on her Bamboozled tour, visit heatherontour.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, everyone. It's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Welcome back, Whipsmarties. For an episode I am so excited about, we are joined by one of my favorite comedians today. Heather McMahon is on the podcast here to. talk about her latest comedy tour, her incredible podcast, and how she manages to literally do it all. You can stream her comedy special breadwinner now on Hulu, in which she very humorously

and hilariously explores the pressures of being her family's financial support, the perils of being a golf widow, wedding planning on an overblown budget, in-law dynamics, and more. And you can get a dose of her every week on her podcast, absolutely not. She says absolutely not, too, legitimately everything. She's making a safe space for us all to tell all and bitch about all the rest. There are no topics off limits on her show. She breaks down everyday struggles of doing the most and the least at the same damn time. It is so funny. It definitely brings me joy in a crazy, crazy year. So let's dive in and hear from Heather. Okay. Before we jump into this insanity that we live in, I got to rewind with you because I like to know who people were as kids and this is why. I know you. I mean, I met you as a, I'm probably a bumbling fan. Like when we met, I was like, oh, I got a hi.

But we all know you from your work and your jokes and your personality and the tours and the specials and the things. If we went back to before your life was this and if you got to hang out with yourself at like eight or nine years old, would you see this version of you in her or was it totally unpredictable? No. I would be able to look myself in the eyes and be like, well, you did exactly what you said you were going to do. I was a very determined kid. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was going to be in theater. I was going to be in comedy.

Actually, it's so interesting. I found a book. My mom and I were cleaning out some closets at her house. Literally found a book last week. It was called Growing Up. And it was a book that, like, everybody in our class in fourth grade wrote a little thing of like what they want to be when they get older. Mine, I shit you not. I'll pull it up.

Did you see a picture? Yes, I have a picture of the whole thing. Mine was me on stage getting a Grammy because I thought I was going to be a singer. I did a lot of musical theater as a kid. Lost the voice a while ago. Close, though. And so I'm on stage. It's a little drawing of me getting my Grammy.

Hold on. Don't mind me as I'm scrolling for it. Okay. So let me just show you this. So this is me. I don't know if you can see this at the Grammys, right? Oh, my God. My whole thing, it says when I grow up, I want to be a star and have many opportunities to accomplish this dream.

I'd love to have my own record label and my own production company as well. I go on to basically say, if you can believe it and dream it, you can do it. And then I say, I'd love to have a show like Rosie O'Donnells. She's just such a great person with a lot of talent. And I literally go on to say, like, this is what I want to do. I knew I was going to be an entertainer from a little kid. And my mom and I found this, and we were cracking up. I'm like, I was writing this shit down in the fourth grade.

I knew what I wanted to do. But I think that became a harder thing later and in life because when I got to college, I was so envious of my friends who were like undeclared, who didn't know what they wanted to do because that felt more freeing to me. I was like, oh, you're still trying to figure out exactly what you want to do. I know what I want to do, but it still seemed so far away. So by the time you got to college, was it a feeling of pressure you were putting on yourself? Or was it that you were on the precipice of, you know, quote-unquote adulthood and still didn't know how you were going to get your foot in the door? A mixture of both. I think when you are – because I – since I was a little kid, I always said, I'm going to be on stage.

I'm going to be doing something in the arts. So I think to go into college and know exactly what I wanted to do, like I went to the University of Mississippi. A lot of my girlfriends wanted to stay locally or, you know, they – I was like, no, once I get out of here, I'm moving to New York. I'm doing stand-up. I'm doing the thing. So for me, it was like, while I enjoyed my college experience so much, I was ready to, like, get to the next thing. And then I got out and I was like, now this is where the fun starts.

But it was also terrifying because I knew how long, you know, I knew it was going to take a while to get the ball rolling. So I was always envious at the folks who were like, I don't know what I want to do. I was like, wow, to have that freedom to be able to figure it out. I actually felt that that was more freeing than knowing exactly what I wanted to do because I was like the pressure is on and the clock is ticking. it's, we got to go. And now looking back, I would be like, that's insane. I would tell people, you can reinvent yourself a billion times through your life, right? Of course. But yeah, no, I knew.

I was a very driven kid. I'm obsessed. Somehow it turned out. I need an actual copy of that photo. I want to make it your caller ID. Okay. So obviously, Rosie O'Donnell is one answer to this question, but who else from the comedy world inspired you when you were growing up? I was a huge Lucille Ball, fan because I'm very big into physical comedy so watching her that was like I mean she was the idol but for the reason I got to stand up was Joan Rivers. Joan was just saying things back in the day that women did not have you know I don't want to say the balls to say didn't have you know the the tits to say like she just knew what she was doing and when I was starting out and stand up in New York I would follow her all the time and go see her shows and I got to meet her outside of a show

one night, and I was like, Ms. Rivers, I just want you to know, I'm such a fan. You're the reason why I got in a comedy. And she was like, I have a good feeling about you. You're going to make it. Years later, I moved to L.A. I'm sitting at a bar one night at Doms. You know, the sister restaurant to Little Doms, but it was Beverlyville, work clothes. And I'm sitting in there at the bar and I hear her walk in. I was like, I know that voice. So I go over to her table and I'm like, hey, Ms. Rivers, I just want you to know. I took your advice. I moved to L.A. because she told me to move to L. She's like, you have a very commercial look. You need to be doing television.

You need to move. Wow. Went to L.A. And I said, I took your advice. Like, thank you. Here I am, doing the thing. She's like, I'm telling you, I have a really good feeling about you. You're going to make it.

And I swear to God, I got in my car. I called my dad. I was sitting in the ballet at this restaurant. I was like, Joan, gave me your blessing. She died like nine months later. No. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Wow. And I got to meet her daughter, Melissa. about a year ago, and I told Melissa, I was like, you don't understand, like, your mom meant everything to me and was such a guiding light in the stand-up world for me. So I'm just so grateful to her. That is so special. I mean, an icon, truly. Who did you follow growing up? Because, I mean, you've been doing this forever, though. I mean, kind of. I, you know, I wanted to be a doctor. I thought I was going to be a heart surgeon. That was my plan. And then I had an arts requirement because I went to this great, I mean, amazing school in Pasadena.

And I was like, I don't want to do this. You know, they gave us these two years of arts requirements in every semester. You had to do something different. And I thought I was going to game the system by putting off the theater requirement until the same semester I was supposed to play volleyball. And they were like, you did this to yourself. Like, you are at school to learn how to be a functioning adult. And you chose to delay this.

And if you'd done it last semester, you could have done a play and done a sport. But now you're going to have to miss your sport to do this. And I was like, what? Such a lesson about, you know, personal accountability really early. And then I did this play. And I was like, wait, I love this. It's not all, by the way, no shade. I love musical theater.

But I'm also just like not a musical theater kid. I was like, wait, theater isn't the sound of music. You can like, you can do these really topical. intense or comedic things where you don't have to sing on stage what and it changed my whole life. I was like, well, but my favorite subject has always been English and this is basically just a book that's alive. Yeah. And so it really shifted the whole thing for me. And then when I told my parents that I wasn't going to go to medical school, I wanted to go get a BFA in theater.

You can imagine how well that went over. I'm sure assholes were clenched. It's like every at that moment where they're like, mom, dad, I'm a thespian. And the parents are like just gravely disappointed. Yeah. Well, and my dad, ironically enough, you know, for his whole career was a really wonderful photographer, which is also why I think I ride so hard for the crew, because I'm like, I come from a crew family, even though my dad's like crew job was deeply cool.

And one of the people he photographed for the longest run over his 40 plus years career was Joan Rivers. Wow. Yeah. He must have iconic... They were tight. Yeah. Like, John, you know, she'd have something to do in New York and be like, absolutely not. You got to fly Charles Bush out here from L.A.

I'm not shooting with anybody here. She hit a point where she was like, nobody knows how to light me. Bring my guy. And, like, they had a very sweet friendship. Wait, if he still has any prints, I'm going to ask. I already wrote down a note. I'm like, oh. I'm redoing a office in my house right now.

And that's what I need. And I was scouting many images. I was like, I need a blown-up print, like an iconic photo of Joan in this. Yes. In my office. Wow. What a cool gig. So cool.

So, so cool. And yeah, I remember years later, when I was working on TV, my parents finally were like, so crazy that you're doing this. When you first told us you were going to go to theater school, I was like, I know you freaked out. And my dad was like, no, you don't understand. Like the level of meltdown. was so intense. He goes, and your mom looked at me and goes, this is your fault.

You turned your fucking hobby into your career. And now she thinks she can do it too. My dad used to have the same argument with my mom. He's like, you always wanted to be Barbara Streisand and it didn't work out so now you pushed it on Heather.

And my dad would write letters to my sorority house at Ole Miss, like the top 10 reasons why he thinks I should pivot and go into the Air Force. And it was like, number one, the gods are cute. Number two, you come from a long line of aviators.

Number three, like you'd look great the uniform and I realized like I'm not a parent but I realize now as you know I watch my parents I'm like oh parents just parented out of fear like they were just constantly trying to like you know we just want to make sure that you don't fuck it up because we at some point probably fucked our shit up so I I was always like dad don't worry about me don't worry I am going to figure it out yeah and it's been very bittersweet to have the success that I've had because my dad hasn't been here to see it I lost my dad cancer about 10 years ago and everything's to click after he had passed and I had a wonderful relationship with my dad even though he was

always like please get into the real estate like don't go into the showbed so it's been like it's tough I'd have all these iconic moments and like on tour like playing radio city and I'm like damn it I wish the one person who's here to see it isn't here but I have to just know that like no he's always with me there's always a yeah probably my dad oh gosh yeah that I can I can just feel that bittersweet thing because it's the best and oh how cool it would be for him to be able to see it yeah I imagine if my dad was alive he would be running security he'd be selling merch like he would be doing all of yeah eating it up taking photos with ladies outside the theater your dad running the merch table is like oh that feels right to me in my bones I want I

feel right in my bones too right in like in the next universe over i believe that it's happening yeah oh my goodness well is that part of why you feel because i've heard you talk about how you feel like a late bloomer in your career because things really blew up you know what after you turned 30 do you think that the that that sort of time feels particular for you too because of that loss because i think when you go through something like losing a parent who you're so close to or you know someone who is your person it's like there is a before and an after it's such a marker of time and because he hasn't been here to see some of this stuff do you think that influences that feeling oh yeah i mean my 20s were

the years where i was in new york in l.a hustling grinding doing the thing one woman shows doing improv, doing stand-up, all that. And then, you know, I lost my dad, like two years before I was 30. And then I get into my 30s and then they, listen, my point of view and my perspective just totally changed. My comedy was richer because I had, you know, comedy and tragedy. I'd gone through something so horrifically tragic to then just have a different point of view and perspective.

It just, in life, richer in a weird way. And I say now, like, I had felt the worst feeling you can ever feel. feel. So now when things are good, they feel even bigger and better. I don't know. It's a pendulum of joy and sadness swings so wildly one way or the other. And so I feel like I appreciate shit a lot more. You know, I always say like other people who've been through something traumatic like that, like losing a loved one far too young, we always find each other. We just all have a perspective and some days can be a little frustrating being around other folks who haven't experienced that and that's not to their fault like good for everybody who still has their

core family around but there are moments where I'm like oh just if you've been through it you get it you know it's just a different communication with other people I think and now a word from our sponsors who make this show possible I have not lost my parents, for which I'm very grateful, but I, me and my whole community lost someone that was so important to us. Yeah. I mean, it rocked us all so intensely. And I think the thing, the biggest shift that it did for me, and I wonder if you feel this,

I always used to repeat that cliche and like cliches are so fucking annoying but they're cliches because they're so true right like that's why everyone says them everyone always is like oh life's too short life's too short to not try the thing life's too short to not be in love and when I went through that sort of grief

what I realized is life is too short but life is also way too fucking long because when you when you have to live without someone I think you understand how blessed you are to be alive but also how long life is going to be if you're lucky and it really there was something about it that rather than kind of rolling my eyes

anytime somebody was you know going through their personal version of life is too short like it almost gave me a freedom back because there have been times since then that I have looked around and gone life may be too short but I'm still on this earth and it is way too fucking long to be this unhappy

because if I died tomorrow I wouldn't want to be stuck in this shitty job with this person who hits women or stuck in this shitty relationship where I'm walking on eggshells in my own house like it I can't explain it It gave me this tenacity to like try my hardest and get to the end of the road.

But if that road was a dead end, I'm turning around because I'm reclaiming my time. I fully hear this. And I think especially as women, we, and our age group, too, we have to get so focused on doing the one thing and checking all these things off the list. And I have so many girlfriends who are in their early 40s, late 30s right now, who are pivoting in a wild direction. And I'm like, do it. Who gives a shit? okay you got the degree in xyz you're miserable life is too long go yes i'm so i'm like and you know i talk about being a late bloomer in my career but i'm like fine if tomorrow i had to do real estate

i would do real estate and i would like figure it out you know or whatever it is i it's life is too short and too long to be miserable yes one thing with grief too and you'll notice this people say oh you know it gets easier with time i actually think you get so much harder with time because now i'm i sit back in my grief. And I'm like, oh, now I haven't heard my dad's voice in 10 years. I think the further you get away from it, yeah, you're a little bit more numb to it. But then you're like, oh, God, that just grips me in a different way. It's like, it sits heavier on my chest because I realize how far away I'm from those, those memories and experiences with my dad. I had a woman one day. She, she meant well, but she DM me. And I put something up for my dad's birthday. And she was like, I wish you would put like,

you know, more photos up of your dad. And I just responded to her. I said, hey, girl, I don't have any more photos of my dad. Like, these are all the memories I have. Those memories are done. Like, I only have so many photos and then I've, I've shown you them all and then they're done. And she was like, oh, shit, I didn't even think about that. I'm like, yes. Like, those memories, we're not making new memories, sweetheart. What do you want? Us on spring break? That hasn't happened in nine years, you know? Yeah. So also, too, dealing with that have to just know that people will say the most ignorant shit. A lot of folks reach out to me.

They're like, hey, I just lost a loved one. You know, what do I, how do I navigate it? And I say, give yourself grace. Give other people grace because they're going to say stupid shit to you because they're just ignorant. They haven't been through it. But if anybody says at any point at the funeral, at the way, years down the road or whatever, they're in a better place or everything happens for a reason, you tell them

to go cross themselves and like, and this is done. And then you never speak to that person again. Yeah. Like you have to, I can't. I can't deal with this shit. No, we just, no, thank you. Some things are just a tragedy and that's okay. Yeah.

And that's okay. That's okay. Well, and you said something about how, oh, you know, you feel like grief has sort of expanded your capacity for joy. And it, I will never forget in my, in my 20s. It was a book I read in college. It's like, I mean, ancient, I think. I think 1400s, 1,500s era is considered ancient, right?

Poet. Yeah, for sure. Khalil Gibran, who wrote like this amazing kind of meditation on life. And I'm going to paraphrase because, you know, I don't have 14th century poetry memorized. But he essentially says in this one chapter of the book that your capacity for joy is as large as you are carved out by sorrow. and like you said the pendulum and it's like it is it's it's so emotional but it's also kind of science right every action has an equal and opposing reaction and there's something kind of profound to me about that where you're like oh it's like the the most raw thing I feel in my heart

and like what is a heart what is a soul and then on this other side there's this science to it and they meet somehow and yes i'm perhaps i'm more capable of holding more things because of this i don't know it's like that to me is is the silver lining that's what i think people are trying to get at when they say dumb shit like everything happens for a reason and you're like that's not the thing to say the other the thing to say maybe is just i'm so sorry for this tragedy and also I'm so glad you got to laugh with that person for as many years as you did. Amen. That's a great way to put it. I also feel that, you know, I'm lucky. I had 27 amazing years with an amazing dad. Nobody my girlfriends still have, you know, troubled or strained relationships

with their fathers. Yeah. And I don't try and push it on them. They're like, you have to fix that because they're, you know, everybody's going through their own shit. But I do, I have to be glass at full and say, I had 27 great years with the greatest man ever. So, like, I feel richly blessed in that sense. And I am a wildly naturally joyful person. And even when I went through this, I'm like, what can I do? I can either let this cripple me and destroy me and I can be mad at the world and I never get through this. Or I can pivot and turn this anger and sadness and somehow bring it back to joy and then live my life.

That's what my dad would want. That's what I think everybody's loved ones would want. Yeah. I can't. He would be like, get your ass up. go do something go make someone laugh like well that was for yourself exactly right and him him loving your comedy i'm sure was also such a reminder like he he would be upset if you had given that up in your sadness and i think it's so special and like even the way you talk about him i wonder if you know

this great relationship you got to have with your dad like do you feel like that influenced the way you fell for your husband do you feel like you guys have such a solid relationship because you had a solid relationship modeled for you? Oh, yes. And my dad was such a, he loved, he loved, loved being a girl dad. And he instilled a sense of confidence, I think, in my sister and I. I mean, I joked, I was an overly confident kid because my dad was like, you can do anything. You're a McMahon, you can do anything.

You would always say that. And when I met my husband, it was one, like they kind of look alike. So I'm sure there's a point of thing there. But, yes, my husband reminds me so much of my dad in a great. great way. And when my husband and my dad met, which I feel very grateful that they had a beautiful relationship before my dad passed. But I just remember being like, they were like two peas in a pod. And my husband and I were living in New York at the time. And he would come down and my dad would like steal him. He's like, well, Jeff and I are going to go do guy stuff all day. Like they were

best buds. And so to meet them have a mutual respect for each other was also just like I knew I found the right one. And when my dad got sick, he died very quickly from the day of diagnosis to the day of dad that was one week. So he was very, and unfortunately he passed a pancreatic cancer, but we flew him to M.D. Anderson in Houston to get, like, you know, the best care. And I feel very grateful to them that they did everything they could. But my husband flew down and immediately asked my dad for his hand in, for my hand in marriage. It was very sweet. So like, you know, I feel blessed that they had that moment together, you know? Yeah. That's so special. He is my father down to like, if they both didn't have a lumberjack breakfast, like full bacon

and then like the day could not start, you know? Oh my God, the drama. So my God. Yeah. But my husband's great too because he allows me to wholly be myself. He is like, go be as ridiculous on stage as you want. Just be you. He's never once told me to like, tone it down, you know, to volume a little lower. He's like, keep going. And that's where I know I married the right person. That's amazing. And you know what? it really does take a person who has a healthy relationship to their own ego to not say, hey, maybe don't share this. Maybe don't tell the world about this part of our relationship or make this joke that amps up this fight we had or whatever.

It's like he has to be very emotionally healthy to be like, oh, yeah, go make fun of me and everyone you know. I'll tell you what, as I've gotten older too, I could give a shit where you got a college degree, what you do for a living. Emotional intelligence to me is the biggest turn on. Everything. It makes me horny. I'm like, you can sit down, have an adult conversation. We can, like, you know, it doesn't even have to be dramatic, but we can talk about our feelings and like, we can agree to disagree, but be adults about this. I'm like, let's do it. I mean, and, you know, there are aspects in comedy. There are things where I'm like, hey, are you cool

if I talk about this or whatever, and we have a conversation about it. But he really is just so secure in himself. He's like, yeah, somebody's going to relate to it. It's going to make someone laugh. It'll make someone think. Surely someone's going through the same situation. So very open and supportive of me going out there and, you know, sometimes ripping him a new asshole for the sake of it. Most buddies of you, when I was on a press tour for my last special that came out, and the special was called Breadwinner. And there was a whole, like, art.

I was just going to ask you about this. Yes. The whole arc about it about how I make more money than him. And, man, every single interview. They were like, how does Jeff feel about this? How does your husband feel about you talking about this? And I'm like, every male comedian since the dawn of time has been doing this, and you don't ask how their wives feel about this shit, how they're people feel about them making fun

of them on stage. Why is it all of a sudden like, you know, you're peppering me about it? So I finally was just like, Jeff's fine. He's playing golf right now. You know, he didn't give a shit. Yeah. You're like, you're like, Jeff, Jeff is this generation's kept woman and he loves. likes it. Yeah, exactly. Because he still gets to benefit from being a man. Yes, exactly. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. Something I think is so cool about you guys is that you met before your career totally blew up, you know, the specials on the tours and the things. What is that like for you? You know, I guess I ask this, I'll be really vulnerable and say why, because I've once or twice or a handful of times in my life, been like, oh, this person who has said the right things is drawn to the wrong things. I've sort of had the bamboozle moment. And, you know, we live, we learn. It's what therapy's for. But I find it really, at this stage in my life, being able to look back in that, you know, 20-20 hindsight vision, yada, yada. I'm like, damn, I had no idea. idea what I was in for when the show I started at 21 blew up.

You know, and we were removed, which, you know, gave us our own set of, like, high school round two in ridiculousness, but I've never, like, I've never in my whole adult life. I've not since high school, or I guess college, gone on a quote-unquote anonymous date. Yeah. And so like, I don't know. I love y'all's relationship and I can feel how good it is. And I, I wonder, what's it like for you to have had him before this? What's it like for him to navigate the changes? And how do you do that together? How do you sit down and say, all right, we're going to talk it out and we're going to be great because we love each other and sometimes we'll disagree? Like, how does this whole thing work when you've been on? on this roller coaster ride together.

I feel very grateful that I did meet Jeff when I did, which was, you know, we were 23 years old or in the early days living in New York because he was always my champion. And even when, you know, it's interesting, we started dating, I'm living in New York for like a year and a half. And then I told him, I said, I'm down one day

and I said, hey, I got to move to L.A. Because Joan Rivers told me to move to L.F. Like, crying into his Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. He's like, I knew this is a story. going to happen. But at no point, like, we never broke up. He was like, go full forward. Go ahead, my child. He said, I don't ever want to get in the way of your dreams and free you to resent me down the line. So he, even though we were long distance for a long time, we just kept supporting

each other. I kept supporting him business. And again, we did not know when lightning was going to strike. But I never once questioned his support on what I wanted to do. And I'll tell you what, there were moments, a couple of his friends sat him down and were like, hey, how long are you going to support Heather kind of chasing this comedy dream? Like, it hasn't worked out yet. Like, really, like, are you, when are you going to have the honest conversation with her that maybe she needs to pivot? And sure enough, like, nine months later, everything took off.

Wow. And he told me that two years later. And he was like, I never told you this, but I want you to know, I told them to all like, fuck off. He's like, no, that's my girl. She's going to be fine. Yeah. I feel grateful that Jeff really, we were always each.

other's champion. And I used to make a joke when I would be doing comedy shows in a basement somewhere in like Queens, you know, and there was like four people in the audience. My husband would be there in a suit from his like corporate gig. And he'd be on the front row and everybody thought he was my manager. And then they were like, wow, your manager is so dialed in on your career. I'm like, no, I blow that guy. Don't work.

It is, you know, it's been interesting now because when, through comedy is special. I share so much of my relationship and listen, a lot of jokes. But there are moments where people will say certain things to him or I know he didn't sign up for his life to be under a microscope, but there's so much bullshit out there that there are days where he's like, oh, don't go on Reddit. This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Oh, my God. Don't read that DM. And you're like, guys, this is comedy. Everybody piked down, you know.

There are moments where we're just have to both have to drown out the noise. But he's my buddy. We bet we're right or die together. I love that. God forbid he were to get hit by a bus tomorrow. I'm done. Like, I'm good. Yeah.

I'm good. Totally. About more French bulldogs. Live on a commune with my girlfriends and all their kids. And I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're like, no, I've got the one. Thank you. I love that. I think that's so special. And now a word from our sponsors. Girl, I, I can. get it and I'm I'm thank you even for saying it because sometimes when you're in this crazy zany world I think you can forget that other people are dealing with the craziest zaniest parts of it

and yeah there are just days that I'm like oh I can't go on the internet today like this is kooky a friend sent me something recently and was like this is so fucking dumb you know and it's like from some gossip site blah blah and I was like first of all why are you looking and second of all I'm going to say this with all the love I can muster why the fuck would you send this to me because I'm like I don't want to see it I can go about my day and not see this dumb shit and the funniest part was to me that like there was all this speculation honestly just about a dumb inside joke a friend made to me because sometimes if you don't laugh about something you know at the time you'll cry and I I so badly wanted to clap back at this person and

be like, tell me you don't have a sense of humor without saying I don't have a single cell in my body capable of humor. And then I was like, what's the fucking point? I'm not even going to bother engaging. But it's like, it is so weird when you're just outlive in your life and people make a story out of everything that's actually, it's, it's their story. It's not yours. It has nothing to do with you. The rejection on Reddit is wild. And you're like, wait, what? I mean, it's, Like people are doing time on their hands. I'm like, guys, I'm exhausted.

I'm exhausted. I don't know how y'all came up with these theories that I'm wearing a blue sweater for three days in a row. And therefore, like, I'm terrible disease. I'm like, what is happening? Yeah. I was getting bullied for a minute. Somebody was like, your eyelash extensions are horrible. And then finally one day I was like, oh, God, they are.

They are. You're like, you know what? You know what? You're right. You could have said it a little differently, but you did me a solid. Redditors noted. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. But for the most part, because I do comedy, people are like, you're my buddy. And that's what's fun is being able to talk about things that I know gals are having private conversations with, with their girlfriends, and then being able to explain it on stage and to have that moment where people in the audience like, oh, fuck, that's what we've been feeling. That's exactly it. That's in the community feels really good.

And that's when you know you're in the pocket where I'm like, you, you have thought exactly what I'm feeling and saying right now. And I like people to leave my show being like, oh, shit, never, never thought of it like that or that was right on the money. That feels very good. Okay, so how do you think about that? Because I think from the outside, you know, I watch a special or I come to a show and it's all, I mean, it's tight. You've got a tight 60 or a tight 90. Yeah. But building to that and knowing when you live, you live. leave a show, having a hunch based on audience reaction, what they're going to walk out thinking

about. How do you do, to me, it feels like a great big math problem essentially, like doing a special. How do you do the math and figure out, I want to talk about this, I want to hit this topic, but I want to do it in a way that'll make them think, maybe not make them mad. Like, what, what's the recipe for you this far in? It's trial and air, too. I mean, when you're warming a tour, I go out and like some people like to work, run five minutes and run 10 minutes and 15 and then they build to the hour. I'm a

sociopath. I like to go out on the road with what I'm going to guess is probably 90 minutes and then I scale back from there. I'll start a tour and be running all this shit in clubs, but I like to run the full hour. And then I'll go and separate those little bits and then run it

like that, which is not it's insane. But I think because I'm an old theater kid, I only know how to work in like full. Yeah, you do the play. I do the play. Oh my God, it feels scary, but I love hearing it. And then I scale back.

But, you know, running stuff in clubs is the best because I'm just out there and I'm like, all right, that did not work. And you just say it out loud, nope, yep, that worked. And then I scale back from there. But like for my first special, it was called Son I Never Had. So I knew that the whole idea was going to be about my relationship with my dad as a kid explaining who I was. This was the first special for people to like understand who I was out the gate.

If you were going on Netflix and you're clicking on it, you're like, who is this person? And I wanted to explain my relationship with my dad, the humor behind how he passed. And that was kind of like my first little tee up for folks. And then the last special breadwinner was all about this like, okay, now I've made it, this over-the-top Italian wedding that I had, this 30-day honeymoon, how time it got into my head, all these things that happened. And I wanted women to walk away and feel like, oh, shit, we're feeling this too. And the next hour that I'm working on, I'm talking a lot more about politics, which I had never touched on before.

And I'm just talking about that, like, you know, that feeling as a Southern woman, and we're all sitting in this weird world and trying to justify things in our brain and have hard conversations with our girlfriends. And while also going out there and, you know, like, try to make sure our extensions aren't falling out and our tits are to our internal. That's where we're at, you know. you know what we we can do it all we can do it all honey that particularly i think when you have something to say about politics it's like people suddenly think you're no fun yeah they think it's your whole personality and i'm like y'all i'm wild i'm so fun but i will absolutely you know take mitch mcconnell to task over his trash policy and i really do believe i think especially when you

are an entertainer, a performer, it's because you love people. Yeah. You love people and their stories. You love being able to represent people. You love being able to gather people. You love being able to help people feel seen. And so when people are like, why are all you actors so fucking political? I'm like, because we have to be, because our whole job is to love people and tell their stories, how can I look at what's happening to people in the world and be silent? 100%. And also, like, my job as a comedian is to take the things that are going on in the world, observe them, and either help us work through it, observe, giggle about it, or go, what the fuck? That is my entire job as a copy. Yes. Yes. And, you know, I've been doing this new bid about how,

like, a lot of magamoms couldn't believe that I didn't vote for Trump. Because on paper, I look like the typical magam blonde hair extensions, you know, from the south, went to the University of Mississippi, and they had felt betrayed. And I was like, whoa, what, what has happened here that I was not clearly speaking up enough for y'all to think that I was voted for Trump? But the reception is great, because I mean, you got, again, as a pendulum swings, you got to make fun of both sides. Yeah. I would say that there are moments where I'm like, God, because I live in Georgia, am I going to have to cage fight Marjorie Taylor Greene? I may have to at some point for Jerry. We might have to. We might have to. She, you know, she was being insane the other day and I posted

something about it and somebody goes, well, if you have this kind of heat for her, where's your heat for Jasmine Crockett? And I said, honey, Jasmine's just matching their volume. A hundred percent. And she went, yeah. And I was like, we're, I'm, I'm, I in the year 2025 am done going high. I did it for a long time. I grew up in the young Michelle Obama School of politics. That was my jam. And you know what? Now I'm like, bitch, you want to go low? Meet me in the gutter. I come from a long line of Italians in New Jersey. Yeah. Meet me in the gutter. Let's go. I feel the exact same way. And that's, you know, my job in comedy. I'm like, I'm talking about the things that, again, all these girlies are talking about at their country clubs. So they're

talking about, you know, at the PTA meeting or whatever. I'm going to make you sit and have a, and think about it in a different way because we have to. Like, why are we not as women having these conversations? No, we have to. Oh, this is why we really need to do our show. We need to do our show.

We have to do a show. We've got to. Let's do it. We'll get... Okay. For the friends at home, sometimes I forget that people listen to this, and I'm like, oh, good,

we're just having, like, a glass of wine on Zoom. We don't have wine currently listeners, but I wish we did. It's a little too early, but, you know, next time. I am talking about how it was, I think, two years ago at the big Elton John AIDS Foundation fundraiser that coincides with the Oscars. We'd had a couple of tequila and decided we were going to do a TV show together. And we got to figure out what it is. We have no idea what the show is, but we were like,

oh, we want to go to work together every day. This would be fun. And my favorite thing is figuring out that creative. And I think because I write stand-up, I love the pitch. Like, you You're old school actress where you go in and probably crush an audition. I am so bad at auditioning. I don't like it. Let me do the sales of it. Let me go in and razzle dazzle the network and then just show up on set. But don't make me audition.

Auditions are also so weird because your whole job as an actor is to make a space and a relationship feel like yours. And then you do an audition like this in front of a fucking sheet with you. no human and someone who the whole time they're reading with you, God bless the casting director, but like they're reading on the paper and you're like, but the whole way I do my job is to connect with someone and we have a beat and we have a little eye moment and then we both giggle and none of that can happen in an audition. No, and I had this theory that I swear by that all of myself tapes that I, and I'm always reading with like my husband or my mom in my basement. I'm like, these never got to the casting director. They never got to the producers. They are sitting

in a vault somewhere, and at my funeral, it will be like a cruel, practical joke. They would play these auditions. That's your episode of punked. And it's my episode of punked. And I'll be like, that sweet, sweet girl, she thought she was auditioning. That sweet girl from Mississippi. That sweet Southern Bale, she thought she was auditioning, but really, we were just pulling one big prank on her.

And I'm like, God, why am I not both? Oh, my God. You're like, what the fuck is going on here? Yes, exactly. I love that. Okay, I have this question for you. we don't know what our show is going to be, but I do think about things I want to watch you do, which is, you know, fun for me as a fan and a friend.

I love this. What award show would you want to host if you could? Because I think you need to host an award show. Well, I am a TV nerd, so I would love to do the Emmys. Ooh, okay. Yeah, I mean, Nikki did an incredible job at the Globe. She was so good. Conan was phenomenal at the Oscars.

He's coming back. But I think the Emmys would be really, really fun. Oh, and Chelsea crushes. What does she do, the sad? Yes. Critics choice. Yes. I think doing the Emmys would be insane, really insane.

Oh, okay. I've been, you know, doing some of the red carpet stuff a la Joan Rivers, but I'm really only getting my footing there because it's, it's, that is actually out of performing 90 minutes of memorized stand up, thing, you know, doing sales pitches, whatever, the podcasting, doing the red carpet is the hardest gig I have ever had. It is so scary to me. thinking about that. You have a producer in your ear, you're doing quick changes live on air, you have cards. Their publicists are saying, don't ask them about this or ask them about this

or make sure you hit this note. And you have 30 seconds to talk to Ariana Grande, who's just like floating through the air because she's such an angel and you're like, what is happening? Yeah. A gnarly gig. People don't realize how hard doing live hosting is. Yeah, I don't know how you do it. I'm endlessly impressed. This is kind of the my world. I like to cozy and have a deep talk and giggle and, you know, get into stuff. The quickness of a carpet interview, like, it stresses me out having to answer the questions. If I had to ask them and do this in short form, I actually think I'd have a panic attack. I get, and I've only done a,

you know, award season for like two years now. And every time we rap and it's like, and the, you know, the Emmys are live on NBC. And I hear that. And they're like, and you collapse. I literally hit the deck. And half the time, I'm wearing a pair of Birkenstocks because I'm taller than every guy in Hollywood. So I have to like... Amazing. You know, they're standing on an apple box and I'm like down on the ground. And I'm just like, somebody get me a glass of white wine.

I can't. That was the wildest three hours. And yeah, it's an adrenaline rush. It is really wild. Yeah. I'm trying to find my footing there with being more funny and being myself. But you're also like, okay, I've got to hit the notes, you know? Yeah.

So it's a tough. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm blessed. Let's manifest the Emmys. I think you need to do another drawing. Yeah. You know, like a then and now. Now, I will say, so in my office, and you can't see all them, I have all my vision boards up. Is that what those are? Yeah. So back here is like a vision board. And I have them all around on the other sides of my office. It is really wild. I started vision boarding back in 2018. And I did it one day. I was hung over. It was New Year's Day. I saw somebody do it on Instagram. my husband was watching football I was like, I'm going to take a gummy and I'm going to make some vision boards

because I'm visual and I like to scrapbook and doodle a couple years later everything started to pop off. So now I've made a purely thing where I make these vision boards and it's not, you know, all I do is I basically

have this conversation with myself. What do I want? What do I want the future to look like? What am I asking of myself? What am I asking the universe to connect for me? And it is wild. like the things that have come true by making these vision boards wait i love that can i come over

and make one with you yes absolutely i'm so into this i'm doing a comedy cruise here in two weeks where i'm taking a bunch of fans on an origin cruise ship and we're doing a vision board party i'm like what i'm telling you if you write it down she will come true no my friend sky says this all the time we did a show together a couple of years ago and i was planning something on pinterest and the thing i planned looked exactly like the Pinterest board, but better. And she was like, do you not understand when you're helping a friend design a house on Pinterest or you're doing these mood boards that you make for characters, your vision boarding?

She was like, look at how powerful you are at manifesting. You actually have to start applying that to you and what you want, not just to what you're helping create out in the world. And I was like, oh, my God. And I'm so inspired by her. and I'm also like a little scared. So I want to try. No, do it.

There's nothing to be scared about. I mean, you, to me, it's a conversation with your inner self saying, what do I expect from myself in this life? It's not just about putting fancy cars and big houses and, you know, I went up here and do this. But man, damn it, I've, I've had things check off the vision board down to like throw pillows on a couch where I'm like, oh shit, I have those chairs. I have that lamp. Like, what is this? That is so funny. But I really, it's also, too, I think, because when I was a little kid, you know, back to the book that I wrote in the fourth grade or the story that I was saying, I always saw a vision of what exactly I wanted things to look like and what I wanted.

And so it's always been that kind of quiet voice inside of myself that's like, no, you know what path you want to be on. You know what you want. You know what you're expecting of your life. I love that. I have a visual reminder. I look up at the wall and I'm like, oh, yeah. No, you know what? I need to get back to that because that's something that I put.

down as a goal for myself. Yes. That's really, that feels powerful. It is powerful, you know. And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. It's interesting, too, to think about that drawing you showed me at the top of the hour. You know, you standing on a stage in front of an audience. It's what you do.

I mean, you're on tour right now. You're on your bamboozled tour. On the bamboozle tour, yep. By the way, that's probably why I said that word earlier. It's like in my subconscious. What is this tour about for our friends at home? And then I just really want to know what your favorite part of touring is. This tour is about, oh, God, what is it about?

It's about everything. Oh, there's a lot in there. I'm like, we got a hair flip. She's thinking. It's about how one of, I'm constantly bamboozling myself. As women, we have a lot of outside noise that we end up getting bamboozled about. The dream is a bamboozlement.

The expectations on us are a bamboozlement. And I just find a really ridiculous way of connecting how we have also done this to ourselves. And my favorite part of touring, honestly, stand-up is so fun. Because, you know, in this business, we develop, which we aren't going to develop our show, but we develop- Yes, we are. We, you have to wait for so many yeses and you hear so many knows.

Stand up is immediate. I get up on stage. I know in 10 seconds whether they like it or they don't. And it takes that check of let's go. And when you get that energy from a live audience, there is nothing better. Like I always said, I want to do multi-cams because I, you know, I'm a theater kid. I want that live audience. I want that immediate reaction.

It feels so good to. Yeah. Oh, I would love that. And being with my friends is great. I've got a great crew around me. and we just have fun. And, like, to say that I've seen America, I've toured in Australia, like, to go to places, touch people's hands and be like, you know, thank you for being here.

There's just, the human connection is incredible. It really- I love that. I love that. And then what was the impetus behind the podcast? Because absolutely not. Yeah. It is comedy in a way.

But it's also a place, I think, where you get to be your whole self, not just your performer self. what led you to starting that and why in the world did you start a podcast while you're also on a tour? Do you just love to torture yourself? I really do. Listen, my entire team is like, shall we put too much on our plate? And again, I bamboozle myself. The podcast I started years ago because I wanted to have this like call to action where people could call in and then I would give them like horrific unsolicited life advice. I listen to some other podcasts where they're actually trying to fix people's problems. I'm like, no, if you call in, I'm going to give you

a sarcastic response. Oh, my God, love. And then it's also, I mean, my therapist would say, like, again, you're oversharing too much on your podcast, but it is just a, it's almost like a brain dump for me every week. I hear what other people are going through. I brain dump what I'm going through. And it's just such a part of my week where I'm giggling to myself. I love that.

I'm not for an hour straight at just the insanity of humanity of us just trying to get through each day. And it would be so much joy. But am I doing a lot? Yes, yes. I'm doing a lot. I am doing a lot right now. Yeah. Yeah. I want to, I want to come and give bad advice on your podcast. That feels so fun. I would love to have you. I please come on the podcast. We would love. Oh my God. I love that. Years ago, I did Anna Ferris's podcast and we got a really sweet question from someone. And yeah, we were trying to like give great advice. but I also think purposefully giving ridiculous advice feels fun.

Yeah, I mean, listen, sometimes there are a lighthearted moment or like tender moments. And I've cried sometimes on this podcast by myself where I listen back and I'm like, oh, my God. What did I have a big of breakdown must? But, you know, it's all about human connection. And the fact that you'll even trust me with their stories, it's funny, though. I do tell the girl all the time, I'm like, hey, y'all, if you have done something illegal, do not call into the podcast when you're drunk and then let us know because I will delete it but quit telling me where the bodies are married yeah yeah you got to protect yourselves a little bit ladies yeah okay well

you are so known I mean not just on the show everywhere for your for your hot takes what what's your hottest take this week ooh what do you got what is my hottest take well listen my hottest take this week is the world's on fire and we are just trying to keep our head about of water. So every day, my hottest take is protect your mental well-being, because if you consume shit all day long, it will make you nuts. And we still have to live each day to the fullest, because again, like you said earlier, life is short, but it's also very long. So you're the best you can with the people around you and take care of the people that you love. We're not going to fix everything tomorrow. But I've had moments where I will consume so much and it will make me

spiral and it will be crazy. And I'll watch something backstage and then I'm like, okay, now I've got to go back on stage and make everybody feel positive and giggle. And I have to take moments where I'm like, I got to tune it out for a minute. You know? Yeah. Everybody's got to take care of their mental health. Yeah. I'm learning to do the same. And I feel like I've also finally hit a point where I'm like, I'm guys, admittedly, I'm not an expert at everything. No one is. I am not, I am no longer willing to feel pressured into having a take if I'm like, this not my job. It's just not my job. I'm going to do the best I can and there will be mental health breaks and there will be days when I don't do this. And even for me, something I've tried to do consciously lately is I do

the, you know, the signal boosting, the news sharing, the do you know about this, call your senators about that. This bill is up. This is really important. I'm sharing all that stuff more like a broadcaster. I'm sharing it in my stories every day, so it's timely. But I'm really trying to keep what I put up on a grid happy. Yeah. Yeah. Because I feel like we need it. And for me, beginning to separate and balance, my life sharing is going to be my life and the news shit. I'm going to share like the news. It's on. And if you miss it, go find it somewhere else. Yeah. And that's how I feel too as a comic. Like, I have to, we have to talk about these uncomfortable conversations, and I want you to leave laughing and also like, it makes you think. You know, even in comedy, it's topical and you have to keep moving and things are changing rapidly every day.

But there are moments where I'm just like, all right, we're going to say it, we're going to giggle, we're going to pull it apart, we're going to figure it out. And then we're going to put it to bed and we have to walk away and just be like, we're going to make it. We're going to be okay. Exactly. It's so important. We're all going to go nuts. Yeah. Well, and I think balance in general, like that's something I'm really working on. I'm really working on understanding that I have an irrational sense of time. I really think I can get way more done in a day than as humanly possible. So I'm working on bringing down my bamboozling of myself. I'm trying to bring down the volume on the daily to-do list so that I can actually be better at the things I'm doing.

I love that. One of the things on my vision board was like, it says, less stressed, restful, and what does it say? Oh, replenished. Because I realized. Love a replenish. You love a replenish. I would burn myself out so bad and say yes to everything.

And then one, I'm a shitty friend. I'm a shitty wife. I'm in a bad mood when I come home. And I was like, what are we doing here? If I don't actually start physically taking care of myself, saying, you know, yeah, some people may call me a grandma some days because I can't go out and do all the things I used to do. But I'm like, I would rather take care of myself. So then when we spend my love language as quality time, I want to be in a good mood and be there for you

and not be just a burnt out bitch all the time. Yes. Yeah. I don't want to sit at dinner feeling like a shell of a human. Yes, 100%. Is that, do you think that recalibration, would you say that right now that's your work in progress or is it something else? 100% my work in progress. And, you know, I feel we are all obviously in this rat race of this industry and things are changing. And, you know, I said, or you mentioned

earlier like, oh, I was a late bloomer. Well, I'm still, I turned 38 this year and there's things I have to get done before I can have a family and I can do all these things. So it's finding these moments where it's like, it's all going to happen. Take a deep breath. But again, I can't be the star or show up to the gig if I am a shell of a human. I can't do it. So I really had to take moments and have hard conversations with myself where it's like, hey, you got to be selfish for a minute. Whether people get upset with you or not, you need to be selfish and take care of yourself.

Yes. Or there will be nothing to do. Like, we will have no career. There'll be nothing left. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. I love that.

I think to your point, women, the world wants to bamboozle us and we do it to ourselves. And I think any time we can sit down and really just say, this is what I need, it's a big deal. 100%. And the pressure that we put on ourselves, the pressure that the outside world puts on us, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, whether you're a Fortune 500-girly, we're supposed to do it all. I mean, I have a whole 20-minute bit about our cortisol. Like, it's like everyone's cortisol is through the fucking roof and nobody knows what cortisol is. And then on top of that, you go to the doctor and they can't figure out your hormones. I'm like, how are we all this stressed, sweaty, exhausted, while also having insomnia and

none of us can figure it out? That's the bottle of wine conversation we're having next. I love it. Where can people get tickets to your remaining tour dates? You can get tickets at Heather on tour.com. And I'm serious. We have to get together. Do a lady.

I know. We got to do it. I'm going to text you. Text me. Beat me. All right. You know where to find me. I know where to find you.

Thank you so much. I love you. I love you. I adore you. Truly. Same. Yeah. You make me so happy. And I just really, I cherish that I get to know you. Oh my God. That's the kindest thing ever. It's true. And you make me fucking laugh. Bless you. How you're doing the most. I'll tell you what. You're doing the Lord's work, honey. Thank you for today. Oh my God. Thank you.

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