Drama Queens - Work in Progress: JoAnna Garcia Swisher

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

This week, Sophia is joined by a fellow CW alum — multi-talented actress, producer, host, entrepreneur, and lovely human being JoAnna Garcia Swisher.TV fans have seen JoAnna shine on the small screen in hit shows like the CW's Reba and the Netflix hit Sweet Magnolias, but she tells Sophia that she actually considered walking away from acting at one point. She reveals what drew her back to her craft.JoAnna also opens up about the grief of losing her parents, gets emotional talking about her relationship with Reba McEntire, and talks about finding her happy place with 'The Happy Place' and all of the exciting projects her production company is working on!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hey, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Hey, whips, Marties. I am so excited to sit down today with a woman I have known and admired for so long, not only for her incredible career, but as a human. who was one of the very first people I met when I started work as a little whippersnapper on the WB. Today's guest is none other than Joanna Garcia Swisher.

She has an undeniable range as both a comedic and a dramatic actress. She's one of those people who is so naturally vibrant that you're drawn to her in every room. And she has built such an incredible, not only career, but life. from her current role on Netflix's Sweet Magnolias to her beautiful lifestyle destination, The Happy Place, which really explores what motivates us, what makes us feel amazing, how we gather, how we enjoy what it is to be alive, to one of my very favorite things, you all know, I don't really watch reality TV, but I did get hooked on the ultimatum queer love, and she hosted it, and my goodness, did I love it?

she does all of it. She's a mom of two young girls. She is a wife. She is a producer. She is a creator. And I'm just so excited to sit down and talk with her today about the 20 plus years we've known each other, what her career has been like thus far and what she sees ahead in the next 20. Let's sit down with Joe.

Hello. Hello. I'm so excited to see you and your family's well and everybody's good. Yeah, the girls are getting so big, 11 and E. It's wild. I know. I was just talking to Nick last night and he was saying something about a car and he's like, well, Emmy will be driving in like four years? And I thought, what did you just say to me? I felt like it was an assault. I mean, granted, she's 11, almost 12, but I thought, don't say that to me. Don't point that stuff out. That's too big a leap. I was like, no, sir. Because you know how quickly four years goes by, God willing, by the way, and this. But I just thought, oh, gosh. But, you know, we're just good. It's good.

East Coast living. Yeah, and you're loving it? We are. I mean, we're back home. And so it feels right after I lost my dad and then my mom and then my grandmother. Well, my grandmother, two weeks before my mom, it just felt like the right thing to be home. I needed to be by my brother. My in-laws had moved to Tampa. So we came back and also I've been working in Georgia since 2019. So it's like a hop skip. So we're kind of

splitting our time between there and it feels like the right spot. But every time I go back to LA, I just, but I kind of just miss what we had. Like, you know, that era, that time where things were just a little bit more simple, a lot more simple. And it was fun and stuff. So I just, I'm, I'm nostalgic for that. Me too. Me too. It's interesting though when you talk about your girls because one of my favorite things to ask people is to rewind and talk about childhood and I realize in all the years I've known you I've not really asked you this question either and I find that it's so interesting when I get to talk to parents about this because they can look at their own childhood and also see these sort of themes reflected in their children in present day.

So when you look back, you know, at the age your younger daughter is, at nine, if you could go and hang out with nine-year-old Joanna, would you see the woman you are today in her? Would you be like, oh, my God, she's friendly and gathers people and is so communicative and is a total performer? Or was she like a totally different kid? I think there was probably all of that there and this sort of just like knowing that things were going to be okay. But I was really picked on at that time of my life. You know, and I feel like I still carry those scars to this day of just, I was so emotional. And one of my friends has a daughter who's like this.

And I see it a lot in her. And I always kind of talk to my friend. through it. And people call her dramatic and all of this stuff. And I'm like, yeah, but that's what makes her so unique and special and she feels so deeply. And so yeah, I think I see a lot of that. I've probably a little bit more graceful now. I was a little bit of a bull in a china shop, which I am now still in certain ways. But I was like, I know what I want to do with my life. I knew I had this utter sense of just faith that everything was going to be okay, but it was hard. It was really hard.

And it definitely affected, it still does to this day that sort of need to kind of like please and fit in and all of those little insecurities that creep up naturally. And then we choose to do what we do for a living, which is so forward-facing and up for a million opinions. And Lord knows, we didn't even know back then when we started this that the world would be like this, that there would be so much access and conversation about us. I mean, I feel like when we started on the WB, it was like message boards that you had to like log into AOL about. It's just like you think about how much the world has changed. But yeah, I think that when I look back on my childhood, I really felt now that I'm really just kind of digging into it. My mom was just such a, she was like a getter done. She was like, what do you want to do?

She was so supportive. And I feel like I have a lot of that like feral mom energy and me where I'm like, you want to do this? Let's go in. Like, let's figure it out. Let's go out. My husband has a little bit of that too, which is not a great balance for us. So we tend to kind of like go all over the place.

But, yeah, I just, I felt. I felt like it was tough, but I knew it was going to be okay. And I kind of feel like that now, I guess. I just said that earlier when we got on the phone. I was like, when we started talking, I was like, this is a hard moment. Yeah. But we're going to be okay. And my dad really talked a lot about that too.

I mean, my dad was an immigrant. You know, he came over when he was 13 years old from Cuba. And he saw a lot, a lot, a lot of things in his life. And what I feel like I know, especially now having my parents on the other side, that I can endure a lot more than I feared a lot of things that I just now know. I say to my daughters, my daughter asked me if childbirth was painful. I said, well, yeah, but she's like, I'm so scared of it. And I was like, you're eight. And by the time you decide to have a baby or if that's what your choice is, like you'll be ready for it.

you can handle the pain, put that, let's bench that one for now. But it is true because I was so afraid of the idea of like, God, what happens the day I lose my mom, my dad, it's going to be the worst, the worst. And it is. But I'm still here and I'm still living and still thriving and still navigating life. Yeah. Well, and I think there's something really interesting to, you know, the point that you make about sensitivity because it is hard to be sensitive to.

cruelty, to be sensitive to the suffering of others, to feel the weight of things in the world. But I think it also can be such a leading force. It's the thing that allows you to say, oh, this suffering is an injustice. Oh, this is a person I could show up for. Oh, I wish someone had shown up for me during X. And so when I see someone going, through it. I'll show up for them. Absolutely. I think that's, it's a gift. It's not always easy to be, you know, informed and conscious and tapped in and all the things, but I do think it's the only way that things get better. And so maybe that's why so many sensitive people wind up in ways becoming artists

and creating things because to tell other people's stories is a, it's a way of showing up. Yeah. I mean, not to, I've shared this before, but I had, there was a moment where I was contemplating, not wanting to act as much anymore. And I didn't share that with anybody because that actually, even saying it now is kind of a scary thing, because I don't feel that way now, just FYI. But I had a healer, this really wonderful woman. And she said to me, you know, what we do as artists and not to like make our job so important, but she. She said it's, life is all about bumping up against each other and honing our stones. And oftentimes people, you know, we're so many people are just trying to survive right now. And their escape is watching television or their escape is, you know, going to a beautiful museum and, you know, looking at incredible art and learning about those things. And part of what our, I think, gift is and our ability, like the honor of what we do is to be able to kind of make people feel certain things. because we are able to hone stones just by allowing someone to laugh or cry or look at the world in a little bit of a different way or learn something.

And I think it is really important to, it's not easy to be so raw and in touch and, you know, literally step into the pain and suffering of somebody else that we don't know. You know, those are all, they're great honors, but it's not easy to do. And so, but I also think there's like value to it more than just entertainment. And I do think that it's like an energetic sort of healing that we have an opportunity to do and to connect. And all I want to do right now is tell stories that are relatable. And people can. They're not the coolest stories maybe are the hippest or the one that get the most attention, but they're the ones that make people feel like less alone. And right now I just feel like that's so my, that's where I'm. fitting in with my job and also you know trying to raise two young women to look outside of themselves and look further than their immediate radius and by the way also also settle in and figure out how you can help the person that's sitting right next to you such a great honor to connect and it is a huge responsibility and so you and and i think as we get older we try to like

protect our energy and our peace and all of that. Yeah. That is also a delicate dance. What do we have the bandwidth for? Yeah. Absolutely. I'm so grateful to be surrounded by such strong, connected, aware, awake people because it's like, I got your back, you got mine, and we'll kind of carry the burden, you know, cover the terrain together. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I think, I get what you mean. you know, we're so taught to not, you know, praise what we do or whatever, but I do think it's important to love it. And I get that it's not rocket science and I get that it's not

curing cancer. But I've also sort of had to, I had a friend say this to me when one of my best friends paid me a compliment. And I did the thing that women are taught to do and immediately, you know, self-deprecated. And it happened to be a guy friend of mine. And he was like, this is so interesting to me that the difference, he said, do you not get that I'm essentially, I'm giving you a gift. It's like if I handed you a present and you immediately batted it back into my hands, it would be insulting. Yeah. Why do you want to take this compliment and throw it right back at me and immediately delegitimize it? And I had to see that it could hurt someone else's feelings to realize I was actually invalidating my own. Yes. And I think about that in terms of our work. And this is such a gift of the experience that I've had with some of the wonderful people I've gotten to meet around the world who watch the things we make. And the number of people who've said in one version or another, well, you might not be curing cancer, but I watched your show through my cancer treatment. I was just going to say that.

You might not be. And it's like, wait a second. Oh, my God. Yes, we get to encourage empathy. Yes, we get to step into other people's shoes. Yes, we might get to show audiences. People they don't know and remind people that no one is other. But we also do get to walk through things with people that so many others don't. And when I went through my own period of what you're talking about, of going, oh, I love my job, but maybe I'm entering a phase in my life where it's not really for me. yeah what brought me back to how much i love my job and what makes me more excited than ever for all the things ahead was actually being reminded of how special and sacred our job is a hundred percent when the making it and the the things we've all as women been through on set hit a sort of breaking point for me and i was like i don't understand like how can all these people stand around and watch and say nothing How can this be acceptable or just the way it is?

I think I need a minute, and I gave myself a minute, thank God. But what the beat taught me was like, oh, part of why I hate when it's not being treated properly, the job, the environment, the women on the set, all of it under the hit umbrella, me included, I guess, is because this is actually so special. a privilege. We're so lucky to do this thing that connects us to people around the world. And like, in a way, I had to lean out for a second to lean in doubly. It literally was the exact what I, at 2019, it's exactly that realization for me. Wow. It was just, my tank was empty. And then I got Sweet Magnolia as they asked me to do this little show. I had no idea what to expect. I, I knew one of the directors on the show. I admired the women that had already been cast,

and it was kind of one of those things were like three days. You have three days to decide. And I had to saylor was a baby. I picked her up out of her crib as I was like, okay, I got to read these scripts today. And it totally reignited my commitment to what I think will be like the next 20 years of my career. and how, and knowing that, you know, telling stories that, like I said, it's a sweet show.

It's a show about friendship and women and sisterhood and family, but, like, there's so much truth to it. And it just was like the right, at the right time, the right moment, the right time, and everything kind of came together. And I was like, this is the type of storytelling. And in some ways, I feel like I had been putting that out there. And, like, it was, you know, the law of attraction. Like, I was welcoming it into my life.

But I thought, no, this is it. This was an answer to a question that I had had that I didn't, that I wasn't even articulating correctly, but it was just not settling. I wasn't in my, in the flow. And now I feel 100%. The clarity is so there. Yeah. And it makes sense now.

And now a word from our sponsors that I really enjoy, and I think you will too. It's interesting because even the way you talk about it, you said earlier that you have nostalgia for that kind of beginning era when we all started working and we were all on the WV and you know, all these things. So glossy. And interestingly, my brain was like, God, I get it. But also I missed the era because I was in North Carolina. In North Carolina. Yeah. Like I'd see you guys like once a year When you would come in. This is what it's like at home. Totally.

Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. But the way you're talking about the show, it feels nostalgic. Yeah. And I wonder if maybe that's part of why it feels so special. So good. Yeah. That's so cool.

Yeah. That's a great point. I'm going to marinate on that a little bit because actually that I feel like that kind of touches a little bit on my grief and where I've been. And, you know, like my life is the irony is that this. incredible blessing came into my life at the same time that I experienced the most significant loss that I've ever even could have imagined. It was like, bam, bam, bam. I mean, and talk about being untethered. You know, mom and dad are gone. Grandmother's gone. Everyone's like there and I'm just

like, okay, I'm here and who's my anchor? You know, it was like really discombobulating. And so I feel like maybe it all was kind of meant to be in that, that I needed that, like, touchback to where a safer time and easier time, a special time, I needed the balance. How interesting that you were going through this seismic shift in your life, because I think, you know, I think about this a lot, you know, knock on wood. I'm, I'm lucky to have both my parents. Yes. And I think about, I am aware already that there is a before. and an after when you lose your parents and you're speaking it's weird we're having this sort of a cross-time conversation in the present you're speaking from the after and as i'm listening to

you i'm like well no wonder this amazing show about family and friendship came to you in this moment like yeah it saved me for you to be able to be in that that kind of arena of love and to process emotion and to just be present. It's like, wow, what an amazing kind of gift. It is. And also, one of my co-stars has lost both, had lost both of her parents too. And so few of my friends at like my age, our age, like we don't, we don't know that, right? And I'll never forget this season. We were on set together. We both had our prop phones, which are obviously not connected at all. But we were talking and we both brought up our dads. And we looked down at our prop phone and I said, oh my God, Brooke, I said the date on my prop phone is the day that my dad

died. And she looked down at her prop phone and her prop phone is the date that her dad died. and I was like, we just started to ball. I was, it was so beautiful. And we just both said, hi, dad. Like, we hear you, we see you, we feel you. But I, it would, yeah, and everything, I mean, nothing is for no reason. All of every step along the way is a part of the big picture. And my only goal is to be, you know, humble and

aware enough to just, or just, I think, just mostly just be aware of the importance of it. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's so incredible. And for the folks at home, I realize we've, we've gotten no surprise whenever I see it. I don't care if it's like a year or 10. We go so deep. We just are immediately like, how's your heart?

But for our friends at home who, you know, there's one million streamers and networks and things and whatever. If someone hasn't seen the show, can you tell them about it and like, give us the lay of the land? I'm realizing I'm not doing my job in like, no, it's fine. Give me the project details. So I want to do it before we keep leaning into the surrounding life. Of course. Yeah, Sweet Magnolias, it's on Netflix. It's based on three best childhood best friends. They're like sisters, chosen family. And it's really about life. It's small town, small town is called Serenity. My husband leaves me for a much younger woman in episode one and you find out she's ultimately pregnant. We go through this divorce, but there's this whole

resurgence of me finding love again and all of us just sort of navigating. There's, you know, we deal with all different real life issues, you know, substance abuse and infidelity and death and financial difficulties, job opportunities. It's really just to slice the life and about how you can be there for one another and really support each other. And it, um, you know, there is an incredible amount of, uh, you know, empathy and compassion. And, and, you know, we don't shy away from dealing with the, the harder things, but we are always kind of the unity and coming together. And that sense of community is always something that is really what I think is a constant theme.

Yeah. And I work with amazing, amazing writers and an incredible crew that has been with us since the beginning. Most, like the majority of our crew has been with us since the beginning. And Heather Headley and Brooke Elliott play my best friends. And they are just so special to me. So it's really special. That's so cool. It's a sweet show.

And it's one that I'm really, really proud of. And like you said, I meet people every single day. you know, you got me through my divorce or I watched your show while I was in breast cancer treatments. And, you know, I do, I feel a great honor. And I feel like I have just, it does matter to me. It's funny. So many people will be like, is it, is it bother you? It was at my daughter's cheer competition this weekend. And one of the women was like, does it annoy you that people, you know, talk to you? I said, no. I'm like, I get, it's an honor. It really is to just be able to say, thank you so much for watching this, but also for sharing that piece of yourself,

you know, that I'm grateful that I've been able to be a part of some difficult journeys and help, you know, walk that by their side. Totally. I mean, it's so special. And I think, you know, having people who can help you make sense of your experiences, whatever they're about, right? Like if it's a big life change or if it's grief, you dealing with the loss of your parents, I mean, I think about the community that I've had around me in the last couple of years when, like, there's nothing quite so arresting as being like, oh, I've built, I've built the life. I, like, I made the list. I did the things everyone says. I did the manifestation stuff. I checked off all the boxes. And it's like someone pulls the floor out from under you. And you're like, oh, none of it's real.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Like, when you start to sort of see. see things rather than like try to make them work. It's so arresting. And to have people go through it, you know, to watch people, sometimes it's your friends on a show or it's strangers on a show or someone who writes a book or an article or whatever. And it simply by being familiar, it makes you feel less alone. And that is something I think is so special about your show. It gives me the same nostalgia that like my first show I've I've now learned weirdly like as I've gotten to understand it through the fans and then gone back and rewatched it I'm like oh my god I get it now yeah I didn't get it when I was making it because when I was making it I was like doing script breakdowns and

you know figuring out how to stay in the two shot correctly but now it's like a viewer I get it and it is something I think is so special it is it really really is it's a great great gift and an honor do you feel like I don't know why I'm hearing to say this out loud but just and this is something that I think that is so special about you and even just my husband having just briefly met you he was like she's such a like real human and powerful human and you're so special and then do you feel like when you're like I had all this list these boxes I checked them all off. Did it, did it, and it may have not been consistent with what your ultimate destination was, but did it make you feel really powerful and, like, capable and strong? Okay. No. So what I think I had

to realize is that much like, and I know this isn't unique to me, I know we all do this, and particularly when you receive so much pushback for the quote specialness of your career, people are like, it's not special at all. And, you know, whether they're calling us the Hollywood elite, where I'm like, do you all know how unions work? And like, it's not what you think it is. Or, you know, they're saying like, whatever horrible thing they're saying. What I realized is the hypersensitivity and the loneliness and the scars from like my own

bullying and othering and whatever as a kid that I carried put me in a position of being so self-deprecating that I actually rejected my quote specialness. I even have to like say quote specialness. I'm realizing I'm doing it in real time. Yeah. This would be like, why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Don't do that. And so what I think it did was it made me say, oh, if this is like the frequency I vibrate at, it makes people uncomfortable. So I'm going to like need to be here. Yeah, I'm going to meet it. I got so accustomed to dimming myself that I didn't even realize it made me an easy mark for people who were like oh that's our way in for someone who could say like oh that's a way in where then i i can kind of i can i can help with the list but i have an

i have an ulterior motive yeah and that's so interesting the the gift of the grief is that i finally tore up the list yeah you were like and it was like just like your phone and your co-worker's phone for no good reason in that exact moment in real time, not like three weeks later, in that moment said, here's a sign. It was like the moment I ripped it up, I was suddenly surrounded by people ripping theirs up too. Yeah. And it absolutely saved my life. Yeah. Yeah. And I think when you can get on the other side of something and say like, oh, I'm actually grateful for even what was bad? Yeah.

Because it gave me the future good. Well, that's, yeah, that's the thing that it's like, it was all part of the journey. But, God, it is, yeah, I mean, you have to have gratitude for every, all the steps. You have to because, and also a commitment to just staying awake and aware. I think that's the thing is that you can have the 2020. have the gratitude for all of that. And also the forgiveness. I feel like I really struggle with that. I hold on to these things that I are just such a waste of time. I'm tough on myself. And I think as of late, I've been like, just be easy on yourself. You know, I hold myself

so deeply accountable that I would never do that to my husband or my children or my best friends. I be like, give yourself a break. But I don't do that well enough. That's, I think, something that is in the present happening for me right now. And now for our sponsors. I used to sort of, I used to say this thing. And then I realized I was wearing it as almost a badge of honor that was so sad. I'd say, well, nobody's meaner to me than me.

So it was like, oh, internet trolls, you think. dare you i top you i trust me like this is child's play honey and then eventually i was like wait but but why yeah but why and i and and my word of the year for 2024 was gentleness i was like i have to find a gentleness a tenderness i have to i have to be willing to hold myself the way i hold other people, whether they're my best friends or someone I've barely known. And it really has helped me make such a shift. And in a weird way, it's made me a more hopeful person. Like, it's made me understand the stories of people that I'm close to, you know, that I might relate to. Like, there's a reason I related to Love Warrior and then untamed so much. And then there's a reason that, you

know, people I've known in this sphere, you know, some of my best friends who've been with their person since college, or some of the folks out in our world who've always been like a safe place to land for me, like you, where I'll watch what your family's doing. And I'm like, I love that I know people where it's worked for so long. Because that gives me hope, like we talk about the next 20 years of our careers. When I look at certain stories like yours or the sweetness of a family like yours or some of my other friends, I get to go like, that feels fun for the next 20 years. Yeah.

Like, ah, and I know people I can ask questions, too, about like when it worked, when they knew all the things. I don't know most people who met their person when we were like, you know, younger. All babies. I mean, you guys, we were 30. You were working on Gossip Girl, right? Yes. Like, it's such a time in my brain, you know?

It's wild. And it's so, I don't know. It's so cool. I'm like, oh, man, it's nice to kind of see that no matter what, whether you've had certain things figured out for a long time or you're just figuring them out now, you've got people to lean on who've been in their own parts of that journey. It's never too late. Ever. For anything. Yeah, for anything. And also, there's a million people who've done this before you. So you have people to lean on. I just told my friend this who just had a baby a couple days ago, I said, I promise you, my kids may have not gone through it, but someone I know has.

So just holler. You know, I'd be like, oh, I don't know about that diaper rash, but let me, like, let's take a picture of it. I think I have a mom friend that, you know, it's that kind of connectivity, but also talking about relationships and sharing the realities of like marriage and that type of partnerships and the highs and the lows and, you know, the truth to that. I think that's also really important because, you know, your word was gentleness for 2024. Mine was clarity. I experienced, it's just like there was a relationship in my life that was starting to feel, I was a friendship, and it just was starting to feel messy. It was starting to feel blurry. And I hadn't had that in a really long time. And I just really needed that like sense of clarity. And for me, it was all just about

authenticity. And my husband and I talk about all the time. I'm like, you could be whoever you want to be good, bad, ugly, honestly. Well, it's irrelevant. But just show me who you are so I know what I'm working with. You know, whether and, and I don't, the smoke and mirrors was just a really uneasy place for me and just not living that truth and authenticity. And so clarity for me was my big thing where I was like, let's put things a little bit more in focus. Things felt a little bit blurry for me. But I do think that, you know, I've been with Nick 15 years. And we've had a lot happen. I mean, incredible highs. Professionally, personally desperate lows deep loss not understanding each other in those moments grieving

differently um you know him retiring and how we related to each other him being a 35 year old man that was used to trotting out on a field 162 games a year to great fanfare and all of a sudden it's like are you going to make that lunch the girls lunches need to be made uh can you the dogs like not that he didn't do that before but it felt like that was sort of it was a huge rock for it like it rocked us it rocked him and rocked you know and so i think just there is such a beauty to be able to connect authentically and with that deep truth and just real and be raw and real and like doing it together and learning from one another you know because not not one person can fill all, all the holes.

I have, I'm married to like four people. My girlfriend, you know, like, my, my, my career in some ways I'm married to Nick. Like, I'm like, in a lot of ways, I have this, like, deep, genuine commitment to so many things in my life. And so, it is, it is nice to be able to just, that's what, like, doing life together is. And that's what I want my children to see. I want them to have those people. in their lives that they feel safe with that they've seen live and walk the walk and do all of those things and be able to connect with and learn from and, you know, not be everything for all

of, you know, I can't be everything for them. Of course. It's really interesting. It kind of hits me as you're talking about this because 15 years for you guys together is such an enormous chunk of life, right? And as you said, you've seen each other through so many things. Hillary and I talk about this a lot. I mean, all of us, you know, from our first show do, but particularly she and I will talk a lot about how we had all these hunches as young people and some of them were right and some of them were wrong and, you know, thank God we've all been able to grow up together. But part of my brain in hearing you talk about your marriage and all these life stages and parenting and all these life stages and the sort of stages of career is I'm like, oh my God, do you think

part of the reason that that you've been so wise in terms of how to ride those waves and what a life looks like is because you like you kind of, instead of growing up just with your peers, right? Like we were essentially teenagers on a teen TV show. They were. Like you also grew up with Riba. Yes. You grew up with an intergenerational mentor, you know, this powerful woman.

woman who was older and wiser and had been through all the things and talk about somebody who knows how to navigate, you know, a big life and a public life. As a mom now, do you kind of look back on her playing your TV mom and go, oh my God, she taught me so much that I didn't even realize at the time? Or did you realize it at the time? I realized it. Yeah. Okay. And by the way, I don't know, because you would have to ask her, too, because I'm sure there was times where, you know, I was a kid on, you know, her show. Like, Steve and I were just bumbling around, like, ding-dongs, you know. Yeah.

And Chris Rich, the guy that plays my, the man that played my dad on the show and Milsa Piederman, too. Like, they just always reminded us of how special, like, the opportunity was because we were, this was our first show. And, you know, he's like, this doesn't come around very often. So just remember that. But Riba, to this day, I mean, we are so interconnected. did. And we are constant communication. All of us, we have your little group chat. We talk all the time and we, you know, in many ways, like I know when I send them a picture of, I'm going to cry seeing this, but I know that when I send them like the picture of my kid at the cheer competition, they're really excited to get it. And that is having lost two people that are really excited to get those things, like the parent, the parents, you know? Yeah. It's really special to have that. And I can't believe I'm crying. That's okay. But yeah, like, and Reba talk about authenticity.

Like never, there is no air to her, no pretense. There's no, um, a superstar, even though she's so undeniably a superstar. She has lived her life. with such honesty and absolute and i'm sure that there were times where i know there were times you know a soul crushing soul crushing grief and you know loss of things and but she's so she is so hopeful like watching her fall in love again with rex and uh like a kid like a school girl you know it's like to be able to look back on your life and and just say, you know, no matter what life threw at me, I kind of grabbed it by the horns and made the best of it. And also remained like excited and exuberant and joyful.

And so did she teach me what it was, what it meant to be a graceful leading lady and a powerful businesswoman who knew her worth and a kind icon yes and spades but what also i thought was so special is so special about her is that she's just so darn feel and humble and and good and i mean she walked as a bridesmaid in my wedding you know i was going to ask you about that come on yeah you know Yeah. Cool. Yeah. It's so cool. Do you think, I mean, because you've had such an amazing career. Do you think having mentors like hers and the community that you have, has that kind of helped you navigate how to do this stuff, how to be in this for the long haul? Yeah. I feel really lucky, like looking at the people that I've come across. And the people like that have been a part of my team, like my people, they are my family.

And so I feel like I have been, you know, on Reba, when we started that show, it was really popular to be like super skinny and, you know, all of these things. And I remember our producers were like, you, they said to me, they're Joe, you were so beautiful. They were like, please don't change. The only thing they asked is that Steve and I didn't have sex. they're like it'll ruin everything just don't hook up so i was like okay meanwhile we had producers begging everyone to have sex yeah fall in love with each other so that no one would ever want to leave the show or ask for a raise and our producers were trying to sleep with us at the same time what a fun zone that would have been something to navigate so toxic grabbing bull by the horns no so toxic

And by the way, like, how I wish we had been protected by, like, shooting on the Warner Brothers lot and not being isolated. Because for us, and again, I feel like she's coming up for me so much. She's my Reba. Hillary and I talk about this all the time because she left the show first. And when she went to work on white collar, she called me and she was like, girl, it's different. It's different. Like, I'm freaking out. And I was like, I'm trying to make it different here.

And, like, I'm being told I'm difficult. because I'm I'm being like don't touch the girls at work boss man like it was so wild and it really was such a lifeline for me to hear that in other places it was going differently yeah and it's like I don't know I love I love hearing stories like the one you're telling that you had such good protective bosses who mentored you instead of trying to take advantage of you like more of that please good God I I know, but don't you feel now that you've gone on to lead other shows that you can bring that goodness with you? Because I do feel a huge sense of responsibility moving forward and like where I have been given the opportunity to set the tone and sort of, you know, help create a culture that it's like for me I was able to bring what I saw, this extraordinary woman and what she's capable of doing and what she does just so effort. I was able to bring all of that to my jobs and still do to this day. I mean, oftentimes I'll be like, Reba McIntyre doesn't even do stuff like that in my head. I'll be like, you know, you can't act like that, you know? Don't tell me you've earned that.

Like this woman has earned all of it and she literally will, you know, hold your hair if you got to puke, you know? Exactly. But I definitely think that that is a little part of the. healing process. And a part of, you know, you get to, you get to, and you'll see that, I think, in parenting, too, if that's, like, part of your journey, you'll, you do get to just be like, you know what, I, I kind of sorted through all that crap. So you don't, you don't have to. Like, let me just, like, put it in a different light for you. Yes. And, and let me just kind of make

that better for you. And in a beautiful way. Yeah. And I think when those things, get mirrored back to you, you know, with your family and your workplace. One of the things that I will carry with me forever, you know, I got to be in every leadership role, all of them at the same time on my last CBS show. And, you know, to lead a big network show, you know how it is. It's like, it's a lot of big deal and it's wild and it's an honor and it's a lot of pressure. And one of the best days I had on set when we were juggling a bigillion things and, you know, on hour 16, Sweet Jordan, my prop guy, sidles up next to me, and he goes, you know, to work on a set like this run by all of you women, he said, I see how different it is for all of you. And it just dawned on me.

It's been a couple episodes, and I don't think I've told you how different it is for me, too. Oh. Having you ladies in charge makes my life better. Amen. And I was like, Jordan. You're like, darn right. that's it and it was so cool and it was one of those moments where you go like oh yeah when we when we make sure we're taking care of everybody who's not normally taken care of everybody just gets taken care of better even the people who are used to kind of being at the top of the pyramid that i think is so special and the idea that you got to watch riba do that and that you learn to do that and that you get to do that on your set and you get to do that as a mom what an amazing sort of 360 degree view on your whole life like you said on all of your marriages you know you're married to being a mom

you're married to your actual husband hi nick you're great you're married to your career you're married to like your mission and your purpose and and they all are in this like whoa yes yeah they are and even and then when one sort of like hitching you know you're like okay hold on i got to i got to kind of like address that and they're all the other ones are kind of flowing and it's like It is a little bit of a symphony of just this, you know, it's all about healing. I mean, that's what we're here to do, to heal, to learn, to grow, to connect, to like, just, you know, experience this classroom together. And if we can do that with as much kindness and patience as possible, and that's also

something that is not, like, ingrained in me as patience, I'm just kind of like a r. And I feel like I sometimes miss the, like, the details of the plot. And I'm like, dang, that was really cool. And I just didn't even really acknowledge it in the moment because I was impatient in that moment. But I definitely feel like it's, I think it's all I care to kind of be tapped into right now. I love that. It feels kind of like a deep breath. Yes, it does.

And it's been this year I write in my newsletter for the Happy Place every month. But this year especially, I looked back on my last year. And wow, my headspace was different. I was really depleted. I was really, I think I actually wrote like, is it the new year yet? Like it took me a good two weeks to even be like, whoa, okay, we're in 2024. for this year, I was like, let's go. Let's go.

And I had the flu. I started the year with the flu and I was like, let's do this. I'm like, we're not indulging this. Like, we're moving forward. We're getting through this. It just my sense of my bandwidth had sort of expanded. I wasn't as depleted. And I think a lot of that obviously had to do with grief.

But a lot of it had to do with a lot of hard work and realization and forgiveness. and reflection that I did last year. And this year I felt more full. We'll be back in just a minute after a few words from our favorite sponsors. I love that you brought up the happy place because it's the sort of thing that just brings me joy. I've talked to people, you know, people will say like, what's something people don't know about you? I unwind, especially when we're doing splits, which for our friends, home or like, you know, when you work from noon to three in the morning on set, I'll get home

and I unwind by like picking a place on a map and then designing like a fictitious house there on Pinterest. I'm just like, I'm going to build a house in Albuquerque, reminiscent of Georgia O'Kee's Ghost Ranch, like totally weird, totally nerdy. You and I could go down rabbit holes together. Like I actually can't wait. I'm like, we need a side text. Oh, like, I was like, can we go on a girls trip and just do this together? Oh my God, let's go. Literally nothing would bring me more joy. I'm not even bringing my phone. I'm going to be like, I am unavailable. We have work to do. Yeah. We'll bring like point and shoot cameras. And your lifestyle site makes me so happy because it focuses on things that bring me pure creative joy. You know, you look at home

design projects, you look at like beautiful things to cook, you talk to really inspiring women. And I love that instead of starting a bunch of secret Pinterest boards, you actually made that a space that other people can enjoy. How did you, A, carve out the time, B, decide that you were really going to invest the resource of your time and energy into this? Is it pure passion project that lets you just feel creative? Like, like, how does it, how does it work? Yeah, so it started as that. I mean, I think that it was sort of a part of me that I didn't really share with many people. And it was like, okay, this is going to be super design-based because that's what I felt like I should do. But the happy place has saved me in so many ways, so many times, because it has,

it's almost just, it's funny because you go to my regular Instagram page and I don't share nearly as much. Like, you really get to know me on the happy place. You see a lot more in my life, a lot more of my personality of my family because it feels so authentic to my story. And it's like my diary. I cook. I'm not a chef, but I cook all the time. I love arts and crafts. So I share them. I love great home design. I love women and their stories. And I think women are the superior beings, just period and point blank. It's the ultimate place to like, right? and I love reading so I share but you know what's funny is part of last year for me was forgiving myself for being so hard on myself because in a lot of ways I didn't feel like it reflected

what it should have reflected it was sort of like I don't want to use it just for me it was like I wanted to just give myself the freedom to just be who I am share the smutty romance novel that I it didn't have to be a book that like blew your mind or anything more than just I enjoyed it and and so I was trying to just

I've been trying to give myself permission to just be me and in that I've shared my grief I've shared my anxiety I've shared my fears I've shared my excitement I've shared you know my smoothie recipes that feel so trivial but it's actually I'm excited to say like this isn't a culinary masterpiece but this is how I'm getting my protein this morning and you know I love avocado toast right now so we're going to talk about avocado toast and so I

just it's just allowing me to just be me and and the people the community is so positive and so supportive and so lovely and I find that it's really attracted that same energy. We don't really have like those trolls, you know, and I'm not welcoming them and they're not welcome because it's really just not a space for it. It's like there's just not, it's not a controversial place. It's a place that you can come to be real, that you can come to just take a deep breath and have a little quick recipe or a cocktail with me or a coffee with me or hear about that I'm really sad or that I'm, you know, struggling with my morning routine. And I'm like, let me just show you how it works. Or, you know,

it's, it's not highly curated and perfect. It's not, it's just authentic to who I am. And it has it saved me in so many ways. And there are times where you can see I'm more inspired than others. Oftentimes it's when I'm in Georgia by the water. We have a lakehouse there. And I just am like overflowing with creativity there. And that has been also a learning lesson for me. So in many ways, It's been like a reflection of what I need to hear, what I need to know. And it's, I think it's the voice of what, like, I want to continue to kind of explore. Yeah, I love that. It needs a lot to me.

I love that. And a space where you get to be your full self, you know, it's really interesting. My partner says this to me, like, even in all the years we were friends, friendly acquaintances, you know, whatever you want to call it. it's interesting when someone who knows you so well goes, God, I thought I knew you. And then I realize there's so much more to you. And we're all guilty of that. Like, the internet has convinced us that we really know everything about people. And, you know, she'll be like, you are so weird and so funny.

And, like, you seem so serious on Instagram. And I'm like, well, because that's where I'm trying to, like, share the news to make sure people understand what's going on in the world around them. I'm like, and I don't know. I don't even really know where I'm going with this. It's not necessarily a fully formed thought. Things are just coming up as you're talking. And I'm realizing, like, part of me wants to hide and do nothing online because people will say what they want, even if it isn't true, people will be abusive. They'll just be so awful.

And then on the other side, I'm like, God, it sounds really nice to have a space where you can really be your full self, where you can be incredibly astute and intellectual and all. so completely silly and say like this is the coolest wallpaper i've ever seen in my life yes this is the best pizza this week um did you read that new york times article about this tariff whatever like we are we contain multitudes as the adage goes and how nice that you have a space where you get to be all of those things it really it has been a gift and it's not it's only years in that i've like really can reflect on it and say i'm all in i'm all in and this is what it is and I'm not going to shy away from it

and I'm going to be who I am and just go for it. But also, I say that in the same breath of like, it's under the happy place, not my name. You're like, I have to get out of it. I'm like, okay, Joe, call my bullshit. Just be like, okay, no, start to share it over there. But no, it is a destination is what I call it all the time.

It's a destination just to come and be and share and, you know. That's nice. It's just a piece of my heart. Well, I think community is the thing that always saves us. And so to build a space for a community is so important. And I hear it's expanding into production. What does it mean?

We are actually in production now with three movies that are based on a book series. And it's really happening. It's really happening. So we are just, you know, in the process of optioning material and getting it made. And and that is another, there are so many books and things that I read that I'm like, wow, this is so amazing. But then I think to myself, okay, what's consistent with like the ethos, the story? What's the story here?

What's the, that broad strokes? And so it has been really fun curating that and like leaning into what my, intuition is telling me about what I feel like we need to like spend our time on and you know you know it's not easy to get anything off the ground and I also it's been really a great joy as an executive producer on these movies I'm not acting in them to just be there for actors too yes because I do speak that language and I do know how important it feels and I know the process of like you could be so like I'm so prepared just in general as a human and then sometimes things come up like in the last minute and it's funny people that don't understand our types are like

whoa it's like coming out of nowhere and it's like well kind of it does because that's what you want you want an actor that things come out of nowhere and hit you in a certain way because you know they're in the moment and like so it's been nice to advocate um in that way and and set up a warm and loving environment for people to follow their dreams. Oh, I love it. Yeah, it's fun. It's really exciting. I'm so excited for you.

Thank you. I'm also like, great. I have 17 ideas for some things that I'm just going to bring to you. Let's go be happy. Let's make them. Let's go make them. I love it. Well, I mean, I just feel such joy for you and with you.

And like, what an exciting moment when you look at, and it doesn't necessarily have to be the year ahead, like your to-do list or what's in the calendar or things with work. But I guess when you sort of look in front of you this year or the big, you know, 20 years we spoke of earlier, when you're kind of looking out at the horizon, what feels like your work in progress right now? No pressure. I know. I want to be a really present mom.

That's super important to me. So, like, just the parenting thing is always going to be a work in progress because they've changed so quickly. And it's like, whoa, that came out of nowhere. But I think that I have this voracious need to tell, to storytell, and not necessarily as an actor. So I just, I'm feeling extremely creative in my moment. And also trying to look back and know that, you know, I'm being so wholly supported and protected from the other side. And I actually am understanding that, you know, it is, it will inform everything. It will, how I parent, how I live, how I walk in this world, everything, that that loss,

but also that there is like great creativity and power that's sort of being pushed from the other side for me. And I think the work in progress is going to just try to remind myself to to not be so worried about trying to make something that I think people, you know, want, I want to just follow my heart and tell the stories that I know without a shadow of a doubt that storytelling will be the next 20 years for me for sure. Yeah. Yeah, to tell the story you want to tell, not necessarily for what people are going to think about it. And that's what happy places. And just it just hit me when your partner was saying to you like there's so much more to you which by the way

I would say that too like I'm like yes share that you know that's like it's just tell the story the story changes every day 15 times a day yes and there's beauty and power to that and it's it's important and we are in these these spots to be able to do that so we have a chance to but everyone should tell their story everyone should agree even the ones we don't want to listen to well i think the more people that do the more the more others are encouraged to do it too yeah i think that's really special people are going to really are awakening they're they're waking up to the truth and it's not fast enough because of course we're not i'm not patient but i do think that

there's going to be less tolerance for the lack of authenticity. And I think it's going to reveal itself. That is my prayer. Yeah. That is my prayer. This is an I-Heart podcast.