Drama Queens - Work in Progress: Lilly Singh

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Lilly Singh has never been afraid to break boundaries, and her latest project proves it. A trailblazing comedian, storyteller, and digital creator, Lilly reveals all the dirty details about her bold new comedy “Doin’ It” and how this film had moments that made her blush. Lilly’s also making amazing strides in her mission to uplift women and amplify underrepresented voices! Find out how and discover what she says is her number one priority in life.  Learn more about Lilly’s projects and mission here: Unicorn Islandhttps://www.unicornisland.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, everyone. It's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Welcome back to Work in Progress. Today we are joined by one of my favorite women in my life. I was a fan of hers before we became friends. We became friends and she's every bit as cool as I'd ever hoped she would be and more. And she just happens to be like, I don't know, a genre redefining genius who is

changing comedy, storytelling, digital media, and transforming personal experiences for the better. She has a humor that resonates across cultures and happens to be one of the most talented, audacious, and hardworking people that I know. Today, we are joined by the inimitimate. Lily Singh. Lily is here to talk about her new film Doing It, which hits theaters next week. And the movie really exemplifies her mission for using her platform for global impact while amplifying, underrepresented voices, and somehow doing all of it with humor. She's dismantling shame. She's challenging cultural taboos. She's empowering women to reclaim their stories, and she is making us laugh really freaking hard while she does it.

let's dive in with Lily Singh Hi. Hi. Hi, Sophia. Welcome. I'm so excited. This is also so funny. I like, I got my, you know, I always have on my nerdy prep stuff. And I was like, weird to have prep documents to sit with my homie. Correct. I know. But also then I was like, no, this is probably good because it's, It'll remind me that we're working. Yes, but also, like, how lovely for me that I have to, like, do this work thing.

I'm like, I'm just going to go talk to Sophia for an hour. How is it going? I'm so happy to be here. I am in my era of connection, girly pop. I am just here. I'm doing, like, a little bit of a press tour for my movie, but I'm committed to enjoying every single second of it. And so my number one thing is just have good conversations and genuinely connect with people

and, like, actually be present. And that's what I'm doing. I feel like that was the beginning of a journey you were starting when we went to Pache and had our like quintessential classic L.A. dinner. That's actually well remembered. Right? That's exactly correct. So I told you that during that dinner, that I go to a dinner every Thursday.

Yeah. In my whole thing is like connecting with people. Because I feel like we're in this industry. I don't even if you're not in this industry. I feel like we're really losing the art of connection. I feel like we're just acquaintances with people. We have a lot of small talk. We never get deep into, we don't know things about other people.

And I was like, I'm going to take Sophia out for dinner. And I just want to know things. about her and be friends. Real friends. Well, and I think when you have the experience we've always had together, which is like, oh, you're my people. And then all we do is text and it's like, I'm in Toronto. I'm in New York. I'm in L.A. I'm in New Mexico. And I'm like, God. Like, when are we ever going to be in the same city? Or we're at a big event with like 200 people and then you just say you're high and by and you don't really like actually connect. So I'm just really my number priority in life is connecting with people regardless of what I'm doing. So that's why I'm here.

I'm here. I'm fully present with you. We're in it. We're in it, baby. Okay, question for answer for you. Especially because I feel like you have been such a public fixture, figure, not even as characters, but you, your identity, what you're passionate about, your writing, you're creating, you know, your early YouTube career, all of it, everybody knows or thinks, at least, maybe that's super parasocial and I should know better, but everyone thinks they know a lot of you for like the woman you are the business woman you are casual what about if we went back and like we got to bend space time a little bit for the nerds and we got to walk onto a playground and like our eight or nine year old selves were playing would you be able to sit down with

your nine year old self and and do you think you would see yourself in her Yes, absolutely. I do think that to answer the first part of the question, I think people have a pretty good grasp before I am. The good news about me is, yeah, I'm very grateful that my career started with me being me. I did not start my career acting as a character. I was myself in my YouTube videos and I was myself for like a decade plus. And so sometimes when I'm hanging with my other actor friends, they're like, oh, I'm so comfortable on set with lines. But the second I do an interview, I don't know how to answer. I'm the opposite. I'm so used to being myself all. all the time. And so I feel really comfortable opening up and I have very little filter and I'm very honest and vulnerable pretty quickly, honestly. So I think people have a pretty good grasp with who I am. Obviously there's some parts of my life I keep private. But I think what you see is what you get with me for the most part when you see me on screen. Going back to the playground question, I think I would see a lot of myself in that young girl. Mostly because, and I'm speaking of going into some stuff, I do a lot of inner child work. So I talk to that.

that nine-year-old version of Lily all the time, all the time, truly. There's a lot of differences between me and her, but there's a lot of similarities, and we talk a lot and we're in constant communication. And so I would say that I'm talking to her and asking myself this question every day. What do you think because you do that work you see in her? Like what would some of the takeaways be of that sort of inner child work you're talking about? So I think, it's funny you're asking me this because I've been like deep in it for the past couple months. Sophia is my friend, you know, I've been through some some fangs over the past little bit here and I've been really in therapy journaling, just really trying to master myself,

master my mind and grow a lot. And so I think for most of my life, and I'll speak about this in a way where I feel like everybody has a moment in their life when they're a child where they have a vivid memory of like, that's where the abandonment issue happened or like that's where the trauma started. There's my trauma. Exactly. Right there. It's right there. We all this visual of like us as a kid in a space in time where we're like and that's where that like hurt happened and maybe we didn't know it maybe we know it now whatever it is and so I have very vivid memories of like exactly the room I was in where I was when that little girl like her abandonment issue started and where some of her trauma started and for most of my life it's been so painful to look

at that little girl and look at that moment because I I didn't give her grace I was like you are so hurt and because you're hurt now I'm an adult who has abandonment issues and I have to go to therapy and I'm like this way in a relationship and I'm like this way in friendships because of you and because of this hurt. And over the past couple months, I have really switched that narrative to be like, actually, I have everything I have because of that little girl. Because that little girl went through some stuff, was able to be super resilient, was able to learn and grow and just never give up is the reason I am the way I am. So I've completely flipped the narrative to be like, thank you little girl. Like, thank you for being so strong. And now I'm going to protect you and take care

of you. And now when I have that, this like, so look, it's been five minutes. We're already in deep trauma. This is why I am. By the way, I just like hate small talk. But this is also why you and I bond because, like, we're not the people at the 200 person event saying hello's. Right. I'm always in the corner having a deep talk with someone. And then like, like, my agent yells at me and says I didn't do my job. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't go meet 18 producers because I was learning about someone's inner child. You did a better job. You were a human being. So here we are. Yeah. Well, all this to say. Now I got tips. Yes. Well, all this. to say and I'm going to really reveal some nerdy things about me because I am a big believer

of rituals. I do this thing where before an audition, before a chemistry read, before anything I do, I always take a moment for that inner child and I have a song that I play that I dance with her in. That's how nerdy I am. I actually go back to that room in that moment and I dance with that little girl and I protect her now. That's my inner child work. That's a really beautiful thing that's practicable, if you will. My brain is quite pragmatic, actually. I, even my therapist is always like, let me guess you want a list and you want instructions and I'm like, absolutely, I would absolutely love a task and instructions.

Okay, question for you, do you think, I'm going to be vulnerable here, tell me. Do you think that's because as children who went through trauma, who then become this sort of classic eldest daughter syndrome or only daughter syndrome or successful daughter syndrome, in a way, your emotions can be so big. Your sensitivity is so big. Your empathy can be crippling. Then you go, oh, if I'm going to get a handle on this, I've got to get real pragmatic. Correct. Yes. It's the too long to read is control freak. That's another way to say it. I'm a massive control freak. Listen, that is a negative energy. I fully own my

control freakness. Pragmatist is great. I love it. I love a list. I love a list. I love a a practical task. So to the best of my ability, if I'm working on anything that is spiritual, mental, I try my best to come up with a pragmatic exercise that goes. It's not always possible. I really like that. It's not always possible,

but I have found a lot that really do work. Something I really admire about you, too, though, is you figure it out and then you do it. Like, I'm the person who will get, it's like a classic ADHD thing. Oh, is it new journal season, which is all the time? It's like, oh, this workbook is going to be the one that I'm going to stick with.

and then it's going to change my life. And I'm definitely in a moment where I'm like, no, I have to change my life no matter what journal I'm doing. Otherwise, it's really on me. And I feel for you. I feel like that. I do, I do come up with the stuff and I do do it. But I have the opposite problem, whereas you might be like,

oh, the journal is going to, I'm so rigid. This journal is the only journal I'll use, and I cannot be flexible at all. I have to, so I'm rigid, and I'm learning more flexibility, honestly. Do you think in that way, like, you just wrote us a bit? You are a great writer. whether it's a joke or whether it's something comedic or whether it's something serious. Like you have always seemed, since I've known you and before we knew each other personally,

but I knew your work, you've always seemed like a person who harnesses story for humor and for good. Where do you think that came from? Was that a way to help kind of parent your inner child before you knew that's what you were doing? I mean, I probably wouldn't have said it so eloquently, but because you said it, absolutely, that is what it is. No, it's a few things. You know, I, growing up, loved TV and I loved movies. And I grew up in the era of, like, movie stars and TV stars, you know? And so I feel like I learned so much about myself and how to treat myself and how to treat other people through TV and movies. Yeah, I'll give me an example. Like,

I mean this not as a joke very sincerely. I was raised by The Simpsons. A lot of my humor comes and the Simpsons. One of the most common comments I get under my YouTube videos is you have the mannerisms, comedic timing, and facial expressions of Will Smith because I was raised with fresh prints. So I have emulated these people that I grew up watching. And it's how I understood myself and the people around me. And so I know that TV shows and movies are just entertaining, but there's so much more than that. They actually really do impact our worldview. And I remember vividly the first time I watched pitch perfect. It's Anna Kendrick. She makes a joke about just like her family trauma.

And I remember being in a theater watching that being like, you can do that. You can have trauma and just make a joke about it and like laugh. And that was actually the thing that started me using comedy as like a vehicle to deal with some of my trauma. And so I just have learned so much through stories. Yeah. And I really, really believe that if you see a character go through something,

you can learn about yourself, you can feel inspired. You can have something to aspire to. I feel like we don't talk about storytelling as being like the intervention enough. I really do feel it's the medicine. I totally. And when you, you know, because I really care about, and I know you do too, gender and gender equity and you talk about all this stuff. Like the patriarchy is just a story. All these things of how we treat people is just a story.

Yes. And so if there's stories that exist, those stories can be changed and better stories can be told. Everything is a story. It's made up. Everything is made up. And it's like, everything. What are we doing? Adhering to these stories instead of using the thing we see and know to be real, which is we, we.

learn, we grow, we do better. There are people out here that are like, I could grow and do better, but I got to adhere to this story. Right, exactly. But that story's making you a sh**y person. 100%. Right a new story. So why?

Absolutely. So I really do believe in the power of stories. And I first and foremost call myself a storyteller for that reason. I love it. I do too. Yeah, storytelling. When people ask what I do, it's, actor is a title I find a lot of passion for. but it also feels reductive to the full scope of what we do.

Yeah. Because I'm acting when the camera's rolling. But I am working on the story from sunup to sundown and in every moment on set in between. Totally. And I like that. Yeah, absolutely. And one part I love about acting is you get to learn so much about yourself. I feel like every part of it's beautiful.

The actor gets to learn about themselves. The viewer gets to learn about themselves. Totally. It's just a beautiful experience, mutually beneficial. Well, and there's something really interesting. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. especially because like everything's in the phone everything's flat everything's a headline everything is a clickbait something everything is designed to enrage you or scare you or whatever

and i've tried to think about why this is so bad for us but to your point because we grew up at that same time watching those great shows like being raised by tv in the 80s and 90s was cool because we were learning about people and people were like allowed to be human. It wasn't you're perfect on a pedestal until we ruin you in the tabloids or the press or the paper. It was every week you're going to sit down and watch someone try and fail and sometimes succeed and you'll love them through all of it. And maybe you'll learn how to fail with grace. And maybe you'll learn how to succeed with humility. And maybe you'll learn how to be a good coworker or a better daughter or whatever. And I realize we don't actually

actually get to watch people grow a lot. We don't get to watch people get knocked down and get back up in really in-depth ways. And that's why I think film and television are so powerful. Totally. Because you get to see the stuff people often hide from the outside world, and then you get to practice grace and patience.

Right. That's a really good point. I feel like it's far and few in between when we get to see that journey online these days. Yeah. I mean, if you guys want to see people fail, you should follow me. I'm very open about all my failures and imperfections, but yeah, I agree.

I think the phone, listen, I think everything is bittersweet. I think there's a lot of great things the internet has done and social media has done. It has given us more information. Totally. In some ways, made us more connected and in some ways made us more disconnected. I think the number one problem with it is just the sheer amount of noise it is. And I don't think the human brain is built to handle that by any means. It's too much noise.

When you think about the fact that the first silent movie, when the director had the great idea to put the camera right along the train track and the train came at camera and everyone jumped up screaming and ran out of the theater because the human brain couldn't comprehend that a train could be coming at you but from inside a screen. Like that was it, that was 1910, 1912? That's a hundred years ago. Now look what our brain is being supposed to do.

And now we're, we're, We're consuming more media every day than this is probably an old statistic. It's probably more now. This is 10 years ago. We consume more media every 24 hours than had been made in the past 10,000 years combined. Of course everyone's losing their frigging minds. Now the sound of a train is soothing to me. Yeah. I can fall asleep to that. I'm like, oh, the subway. Exactly. Literally. We'll be back in just a minute. But here's a word from our sponsors. Okay. Are we old? I here's what's interesting that's a yes it's a yes and a no and and this comes from loving things like quantum physics and philosophy but also from the literal experience I'm living which is I turned 40 I had like a complete death and rebirth of the soul talk about trauma I was like oh nothing in my reality is what I think it is.

Cool. Well, where do I start over if I'm starting from zero? And things are better than they've ever been. And I took off everybody else's bullshit during that time and truly picked up what feels like it's mine and meant for me. And I'm in my 40s now. And like, I say this with no conceit. There's nobody meaner to me than me.

So whatever troll is listening to this who's like, let me knock her down a peg, like, nice try. to try living in my brain but honestly I've never felt cuter my style has never been better I've never had better sex I've never had better relationships

I'm not even listening to I'm just looking at hot you I'm like loving my life in a way I couldn't love it in my 20s as much as I hated it in my 30s and I'm like oh I sort of feel like I'm aging backwards spiritually

absolutely and I see that Talk to me about that desire, that strategy, because whether it's ACFC, whether it's the Toronto tempo and you're in your hometown. Like, how are you building out of the traditional entertainment vertical for women and really bringing people into the conversation around gender equity in a way that feels, frankly, fun? Yeah, because it can be pretty boring. It can be a real dare. Yes. Anytime we talk about the patriarch or gender equality, people are like, uh, that's not sexy. get it. So I try to make it really accessible. You know, from the beginning of my career, I've always been someone that has had my

toe dipped in a lot of different things. I think out of necessity, I never felt safe doing one thing. And I'm a multi-hyphenate for that reason. And I think that comes from like also Childhood trauma. Yes, childhood trauma. Having immigrant parents where I was like, what's the plan? What's the backup plan? How do I make sure this is a fail safe? And so, you know, when I was a creator and I started to make a book and I'll go on some tours and I'll have merge and I'll make sure I have a production company. I'll start a charity. I've always been a kind of 360 approach type of person out of safety and necessity.

Once I start to have enough resources and money to be like, I can start investing into things and like having a little bit of fun. I've just learned through my travels and through my charity work. I'm a really good person. My charity work that is through my charity work that the greatest investment you can actually make is in

girls and women. There is no greater return investment. And I've seen it firsthand. When I go to any corner of this world, if you invest in a girl, it will go above and beyond. The ripple effect is wild when you invest in a girl. She goes to school and then her family benefits. And to be

clear for everyone rolling their eyes being like, what about the boys? It's better for the boys too. If you center the girls and the investment boys benefit also. It is actually factually and statistically true that if you invest in girls, the whole world will benefit, correct? Yes. So relax. We're doing this for you too. Yeah. You're also.

But also, I will also have to let you call you out and say that if your response to that is what about the boys, then you need to check yourself because girls and women do not get the opportunities that boys get across the world. So let's just call it what it is. Let's get off your high ho for a second. Let's just have an honest conversation. Facts are facts. Facts are facts.

Correct. But having said that, the patriarchy does actually negatively, factually, negatively impact boys and men as well. And that has been proven time and time again. But yes, especially with sports. You know, I've been, I go to India once a year and I've heard some amazing stories about how a simple, small sports team can change a girl's life. The last village I went to in India, a simple soccer team

that the girls were part of prevented so many child marriages in that village because they were part of a team and they learned how to band together and they learned that they could be a team and be outspoken. And so one of the girls,

their parents wanted them to get married and the whole team showed up at this girl's house to be like, no, we're all part of a team, we're not letting you get her married and like curbed child marriage in that community. You know, simple things like

letting them learn how to build skills together taught them that oh yeah friendship's important and like banding together it's just crazy amount of things sports does for confidence even teaching them like financial literacy it's across the board a great investment and so going back to Angel City and Toronto Tempo

I'm gonna keep it real I know nothing about soccer I don't know a single rule about soccer I never played sports if you asked me with a girl in the playground that was nine years old she was probably crying because she was bad at running I was horrible at sports my whole life I know I give as if I could be athletic. It's all the facade.

I give tomboy athletic. I can aim. I can throw. I can catch. Can't run fast or for long periods of time. Can't jump at all. Can't get off the ground. It can't happen.

It literally cannot happen. And so I was like, those who do not play sports, support sports. Yes. And that is what I do. We cheer. Yes, exactly. And so for Angel City, when it came across my desk, literally all they said was women's sports. And I said, say less.

I know nothing about soccer, but women I will invest in time and time again. The Toronto Tempo is really exciting because Toronto's my hometown. I'm from Toronto. I'm a massive Raptors fan, which is the NBA team. We only have one in Canada. Flew back and forth for the playoffs when they won the championship. And I would have been devastated if I wasn't part of the ownership group for the Toronto Tempo. It's the biggest investment I've ever made and it's the most meaningful investment I've ever made.

And I have zero regrets about it. I would do it time and time again. I love it. I get it because, you know, L.A. is my hometown. Yeah. And my mom's whole side of my families from here, like all over New York and New Jersey and obviously big sports culture here, the irony that my dad, who's also Canadian, much like you. You just love us.

I do. I mean, I'm a duly. Yeah. You know? Like, I feel sort of like vaguely like I'm in the CIA when I travel with two passports. I'm like, who? What do you need? It really feels fun for me.

But I, my dad has absolutely no sports skill. He's an artist. like his biggest fear when my mom was pregnant with me was that I would be a boy and he would have to learn about hockey because he had avoided that his whole life and then out comes this tomboy daughter who loves hockey, loves soccer, loves basketball and really thought she was going to be like a baller soccer player

and then I think I made it to like nine on an AYSO team before I was like oh it's like a local kids soccer league thing All my friends played in, but I kept having to run off the field to grab my inhaler from my mom and make sure I didn't die of an asthma attack and run back on. And I was like, this feels like a sign, but I'm not, I'm not going to be like a collegiate athlete. It's not meant for me. So I became the asthmatic theater kid who also doesn't jump. But I root very loudly for our teams.

And you see me at the games. I'm doing the most all the time. All the time. All the time. You're a very good, like, sideline host. I try. I think of you that way. You're like the host of the owners.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. I do pride myself. So for the Toronto Tempo, my official title is Chief Hype Officer. I know. I really do pride myself and my ability to cheer people on.

I like to be people's cheerleaders. You're very good at it. I feel like we've become so vocal. We've gotten such a habit of becoming so vocal about the things we don't like. Everyone is shutting about what they don't like. Great. Keep shouting about that.

That's important too. We should also shout about the things we do want more of and we do like. There's got to be the good feedback too. Correct. It can't just be the negative feedback. What do we all? I'll do when we're scrolling online. Let me check the comments to see what mean things are being said. Like, no, I want to like cheer people on and make people feel good about themselves.

Here's it. I don't know if I'll tell you, it's for selfish reasons. Spiritually, I believe if everyone is just the best version of themselves, my life will also be better. That's I believe that. If I'm a good friend to you and you're the best version of yourself when you're with me, that's a win for me. Totally. Also. And a win-win is exactly what we should be aiming for. Correct. Simple math. You know I like a little data set. Yes. I'm like, you're the chief hype woman. And I'm like the chief nerd. And I like the chief science dork.

And I like it. I, when I was little, I wanted to be Bill Nye's assistant, like more than anything in my life. I feel like that's very attainable. And then the crazy, what an insane sentence I'm about to say. I met him many years ago at the White House of all places. And I was like, Bill Nye, I am your biggest fan. And he goes, I'm your biggest fan. I said, I don't even think you know me and it doesn't matter.

And he started laughing. And I was like, I don't know if the answer is yes or no. But we're going to be friends. I feel like that's very possible. that would I would I Give me a lab coat You know what I'm gonna make that happen

Thank you Never met him but it's my mission now Okay That's gonna make that happen I appreciate that Has he been on the podcast? Not yet Well now he will be

Okay I have a Canada question for you Hit me Because obviously I do love it very much And one of the things I've loved About my time living in Toronto Working Is how

incredibly diverse the city is And how much Toronto knows its diversity is the coolest thing about it. Absolutely. It is the coolest thing. I, people always ask me what my upbringing was like. Was I... Tell me everything. Paint the picture. I'll be real with you. In high school, I think in my high school there was 10 white people.

Everyone else was a person of color. And I also will say living in Toronto, I don't have a single friend. I'm not exaggerating. Not a single friend whose parents are not immigrants. Yeah. So all my friends speak in other language who I'll eat different foods. It's very normal. The first movie I watched was Bollywood. The first concert I went to was Bollywood. First song I listened

to was Bollywood. I just I can speak a little Tamil, I understand Jamaican patois, grope eating jerk chicken and pets like it's all very, we love everyone's culture. No one's hiding their culture. It'd be weird to hide your culture.

It's like you wear it on your sleep. The only time I felt like that was when I moved to L.A. A decade ago in 2015. Wow. That is when I had culture shock. Because in 2015, almost no brown people lived in L.A. when I moved there.

And I was like, oh, nobody actually understands any of the cultural references I'm making. No one knows the food I'm talking about. When I go into a meeting with an exec, this exec is trying to convince me that my culture is niche and not cool and I just got beaten down over years and years and years of that

which is why I now so proactively go out of my way to be like no my culture is really cool and I try to tell stories about my culture I throw my annual Diwali party which you know about I just do everything to be like no actually

I want to bring a piece of the Toronto diversity because I know it's cool and I love my culture and it's time for everyone else to catch up in the city so I'm very adamant on that I get white privilege nobody talks about the privilege of exposure and that's the thing I'm the most grateful for in my upbringing yeah is like my uncle Jeff's boyfriend did drag every Saturday night as

diana Ross that man looked insane in a red sequin gas yes let's go let's go like we were homies with the Japanese family that lived at the end of our block that owned the little sushi restaurant in the strip mall two blocks from our house and like they taught me how to hand roll my own when I was a kid. Like I was constantly eating Ethiopian food, Mexican food, meeting different people. Right, yeah. And just watching the people my parents were friends with and gravitated towards and had in our home made such an impact on me.

And I think about how weirdly lucky I was to grow up by seventh grade going to this like little private all-girl school that for what you think that is was like very diverse. And we didn't have religious celebrations. We did cultural affairs. And my friend Megha's mom would come in and Hannah, all the girl's hands. And it's the thing I wish, like I wish I could give that to more people that are afraid of their neighbors or afraid of the town next door. I'm like, no, you're missing the best. Totally.

And I will say, I think what you're saying is so beautiful and it's so sentimental, but I need to be petty for one second. You have another Indian friend? my friends from high school that's not me yeah how dare you I'm so sorry I'm like I love representation to diversity but I'm your only Indian friend

I'm kidding I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm kidding Megha I see you I put respect on your name I see you you mentioned a mega I like that okay very good sorry but what you're saying is very sentimental I'm beautiful my roommate my freshman year in college our parents were like you guys are really gonna live together like you're going and we were like yeah we're scared

we're going from like 55 girls in our graduating class to a school with like 30,000 kids in undergrad. I was like, I'm not prepared for this. Well, on a serious note to what you're saying, I think what you're saying is so important because I think there's something really sad and dangerous about anyone who feels like they don't have to learn more.

I really feel like anyone who feels like I don't have to meet more people. I don't have to learn about other people's point of views. I don't have to have conversations anymore because I just haven't figured out. That's a very sad and dangerous place to live in, I would say. I'm very committed to being a student for life in every facet. Same. Even if I think I have something figured out, I want to still have the conversation to be like, change my mind.

Show me perspective. I don't know. But I think a lot of this, like, I don't need to meet my neighbors and I don't need to see another point of view and I don't need to learn a different way of life or a different culture. I feel like that's very limiting to your life experience. Absolutely. You know what I mean? You should always want to learn more. It's also, frankly, very limiting to your palate. Correct. You eat boring food. Correct. Absolutely. Absolutely. You listen to boring music. Thank you. 100%. Thank you. We'll be back in just a minute after a few words from our favorite. sponsors. When you think about how influenced you are by your culture, both Indian and Canadian, and then the way that you came to be this woman telling stories in the way that you do, how does all of that coalesce into the moment where this movie is coming out?

Oh, my God. Tell me. Okay, so the movie was shot in Toronto. Yeah. So it has a lot of nods to my upbringing and my mom's upbringing. So my mom is actually factually the cultural consultant on the movie. Shut up. She is.

She worked on the movie. Did she sit with a little script in a little? She did. She did because the class, we shoot some scenes in India. Yeah, yeah. And they're mirrored off my mom's classroom. And any, there's a few scenes where we speak Punjabi and Hindi. And mom's making sure we say it right.

And she's making sure all the spelling is right of all the things on the walls. She's like, you will not embarrass me. Exactly. Exactly. You put respect on my name. Exactly. So it is mirroring my mom's upbringing to a certain extent. It is a lot of nods to my upbringing in Toronto, whether it's the school name,

whether it's like the club name, whatever it may be. But, you know, I grew up in Toronto. I did not grow up in India. My mom grew up in India. But I think one thing we have in common is that anything related to sex is taboo. And this is true for a lot of cultures, not just Indian cultures, every culture I'd say in the world. Sex is taboo.

My mom's an Italian Catholic. That was a no-no in my house. And so I won't lie. For most of my life, the topic of sex has been a major. pain point. It has been super stressful for me. Everything from getting my period to like learning about my sexuality. Everything has just

been a major stress. It has been a huge burden for me. I feel like I wish I had this movie growing up and I probably would have been so much more comfortable in my body and so much more confident and so much just more knowledgeable. When you say that, writing this film

because for our audience, you star in it, you wrote it, you produced it. I die for your mom with a notebook, like standing at Video Village. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a sex comedy, y'all. Yes. But, like, how do you think being able to reflect on what you wish you had known? Both, I think it's so on point culturally and also, like, we're the first generation who can look up therapy and stuff on Instagram.

So when you look back at yourself, us, pre-having access to those things, were you also trying to, to write, to answer some of the questions you had as a kid? A little bit, yeah. I think more than anything, though, I was writing from a place of how can I tell a story that makes people feel less alone and awkward? Because I think for most of my life, I remember when I first moved to L.A.

And this is going to be TMI, but you're going to have to deal with it. In Indian culture. TMI, sponsored by Danico. Yes, there you go. In Indian culture, you know, we're not taught how to use tampons. That's like a big thing in a lot of cultures where they're like anti-tampons. And so I remember when I...

That's the patriarchy. Yes, correct. I remember when I first moved to L.A. I was like, one of my friends came over. I was like, do you want to pat her, or tampon? And she kind of made fun of me for even asking me to pat. And I felt so embarrassed. But as an adult, I was like, I'm so embarrassed.

I don't know how to talk about sex. I feel like everyone else knows this. Everybody knows what they're doing. I'm the only person that doesn't understand this. And it was a really lonely and stressful feeling. Yeah. And I wrote the movie from the point of view of like, I think everyone kind of feels like this at a time

or another and we don't talk about it and we're all just doing the the we're having sex but feeling really awkward and not knowing how to talk about it which is a really dangerous place to be um and so I wrote the movie I there's a lot of jokes in there and there's a lot of references that I really had to fight for there's one about a tampon there's one about pubs there's one about a lot of things where I was like no I want to have this joke in there because there's going to be a girl that watches that's like oh my god thank God I thought it was the only one and like don't sanitize the sex talk literally in the sex movie right and so I wrote it with one thing in mind, which was this is going to be a completely unapologetic love letter

to girls and women who have just felt shame around this subject their whole life. And it's about a 30-year-old virgin who finds herself teaching sex ed. And I will say the virgin is not the butt of the joke. It is not a movie making fun of a woman who's a virgin. Because we've seen that. We've seen making fun of the virgin. We also have rarely ever seen sex comedies from the point of view of a woman that is also female forward. And this one is like the women are the star of this movie. Sure there's a man here or there, but like the women are the star of this film. And it's about their point of view. And it's about unlearning the shame that we've all been taught through raunchy sex jokes. And I think it's using comedy as a vehicle to talk about

some real shit. And it's so important. And what excites me about it is the fact that to your point, you're helping to surface real conversations because there's this really weird sort of extreme spectrum where women and sex are concerned most of the time and you're either like a frigid bitch virgin or you're if you're sexually active in any way shape or form then you're getting slut shamed and it's like we the world doesn't want women to be nuanced but we're incredibly nuanced and so we try to talk about those nuances in this film a lot um but yeah i just you know it's crazy and i'll be vulnerable and tell you i used to be so awkward even saying the word sex, saying the word penis, saying the word of

saying any of this. I would never grow up talking like this. And then I did the movie, and I never got the talk growing up. Me and my mom had the talk for the first time during this movie. She made sex jokes on set for the first time in my life. She made sex jokes on set. So it has healed me and my mom in a way. So I'm like, if that has happened

for me, I cannot wait for views. And I'll tell you when it premiered at South by Southwest two years ago, I did this thing where I handed out sex toys and vibrators at the screening. I was like, you get a sex toy and you get a sex toy. And at the end of a screening, I kid you not an older uncle and auntie came up to me and I was like oh my god this is going to be bad and they were like love the movie thanks so much for our new sex toy and I was like love you're obsessed but I was

like what I would have never thought that it would have in the case but yeah I think I at the very least I really hope it just helps people have the conversation and feel more comfortable yeah having the conversation and just being comfortable learning what they like and being giving themselves permission to be like I like this I don't like this and I'm allowed to feel this way and I don't have to feel this way I don't have to feel shame around this like For every girl or woman that has just been stressed about sex in any capacity, whether it's like, oh, my God, my boyfriend expects this or like, I don't know if I'm straight or I don't know. This is a love letter to them for any woman who's been in the bathroom stressed the moments before being like, I don't know what I'm doing. This is for you.

Well, and by the way, I think that's everyone. Yeah. I'm working on it. I'm 43 years old. And when I'm like, this is what's happening. Forties are lit. Everyone was right. And when I'm listing off all the things that are great.

And I'm like, I'm having the best sex of my life. I feel myself blush, and then I go, should I have said that? And so I keep repeating it because I'm trying to get over the feeling of should I have said that. Yeah. And you absolutely should have. Say it again. Sophia Bush is having the best sex of her life. You heard it here, y'all.

This is the clip editors. If you want the viral clip for the social. Sophia Bush is having the best sex of her life and you heard it here. And I'm trying to get like her. And I'm trying to catch up to her. One of us is having the back sex for her. One of us is trying to catch up. Listen, we're going to talk about that.

We'll face time later. Yes. But I like what you're saying because to be honest, it's easy to talk about. But I do catch myself throughout the day being like, ah, that's shame. You're doing a shame thing. You're feeling nervous that you said that or you don't want to be pictures with the vibe or whatever it is. And I think that's the challenge. It's the mental gymnastics of catching ourselves to be like,

I am operating from a place of shame. And how can I gently not be mad at myself because there's a reason that's there. We've been taught the shame to gracefully unlearn it and just make choices that are more liberating. What's the journal prompt for that, for liberation and unlearning shame? Okay, for me, I'll tell you what it is for me. Shame for me is associated with safety. I think we are shamed to a place of like, if I operate in this way, I'll be safe. I'll be accepted.

I'll be safe. I will not be shunned. So I will let shame take me to a place of safety. But if I can convince myself I'm safe and shameless at the same time, then that's a good place. So I do a lot of journal prompts that are, I am safe in my body. I am safe in this relationship. I am safe regardless of what this person thinks. a lot of safety prompts

because when you feel safe I feel like you're less controlled by shame you know shame is just all about control that's all it is well and shame fear anxiety all of it contracts and really what happens when you contract is you get smaller right

and society teaches women that they are safe if they are small so one is safety I'll tell you another one which is I do this often again pragmatic pragmatic things in terms of liberation I think another big thing to get rid of shame is just liberation, just freedom of choice

to be able to just do whatever feels right for me. And so very often when I'm making a choice about anything, it could be what I'm doing tonight, do I want to go on this trip, do I want to go to this friend's house, is it about sex, whatever? I will be like, I want you to list out Lily

every possible option you have, even if it's so far-fetched. So example, this morning I was like, I'm really tired. What are all of my options? Okay, you could go do Sophia's podcast. You could completely cancel on her and go to Hawaii right now if you wanted to.

You could go to the club right now. You could go smoke a J if you want to smoke a J. You could do whatever. List all the options. And then based on that, be like, and I'm deciding to do this. Just to remind yourself that you actually have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want. Yes.

I have a challenge for all the listeners here. Some days, and pick a day. It can't be every day. But some days I will journal in the morning. I'll say, today my only intention is you can operate from a lot of different places. You can operate from a place of fear. You can operate from a place of stress. You can operate from a place of anxiety.

on a select day I challenge you if you haven't done yet to be like today my only goal is to operate out of a place of what do I actually want that is the only filter for the decisions you make that day don't pick a Saturday pick a Sunday to be like today I'm only doing the things I genuinely and you're going to find that you do things out of habit sometimes that you actually don't even want to do totally but if you just ask yourself what do I actually want to do today you learn a lot about yourself you really do because most of the things we do in a day are the things we think we have to do. to do not the things that actually fulfill us yes because we feel obligated correct this is therapy i love cancel your session for after this you don't need it okay and now for our sponsors now look see this is where i'm like i have questions for you but those are for face time okay so i'm looking at my doc going what would i like to discuss with you Do it, do it. Okay. This really, I think, actually encapsulates the big conversation about how society does and doesn't make space for us, what we have to claim, what we have to fight for, how I think storytelling can help us do that.

We've talked a lot in so many arenas about representation, but the word almost feels trite to me now. It feels kind of like a token rather than a shift. because it isn't enough to just get in the room. It isn't enough to just get a seat at the table. So when you think about that, when you think about not getting a seat at the table, building a new table, like what does your ideal table look like?

Because you've built a pretty big one so far. But I'm curious what the journey of that looks like, what the expansion of that looks like for you. Yeah, so the reason I'm so proud of doing it is it's my production company's first film. actually and that is my start of building a table. And so part of building the table is

making sure that the stories that the world needs that are actual diverse stories get to be told by those people in unfiltered ways. Because I feel like one of the things that drives me crazy about Hollywood and probably all industries, but Hollywood in general, it's supposed to be creative industry. But behind the scenes it is the least creative space ever. They want to

put people in boxes. People who aren't creatives are giving notes on creative projects because their job is to notes on creative projects it's we want unique points of view and unique characters but we're going to give you all these notes to turn them into a generic water down version of that yes so there's a lot of things that just do not work for me and so my table is throwing all that out the window it is i want stories to be told from the people experiencing those stories yes and i want to create a system where just because it's how it's been done i don't want to i don't want notes that make my stories more palatable for people because they don't have that experience like that

That's not okay with me. Like maybe you could learn something new if you see my point of view. But also, it doesn't even have to be that deep. It's not like you're going to learn something new. It's a real point of view and so you'll relate to it. Also, like, even if it isn't your story, because it's specific, it will remind you of something you've seen or known or someone. And if it becomes vanilla, it's going to be the like peer one that you walk into and go,

I don't want any of this in my house and walk right back out. Right. It has to have a point of view. Otherwise, it isn't special. And those point of views can vary. We've seen one point of view for a really long time. And it's like we need to see other points. Yes.

I will also just say forget spirituality, forget all this stuff. Economically, diversity is profitable. We've seen it time and time again. And I feel like what drives me crazy about the other table, the one that sucks is that every time diversity does really well, it's an exception. The Barbie movie, Black Panther, sinners. There's so many examples, the exception, exception, no. Oh, wow. No, it's people want diverse.

If you look at the box office numbers, the people that go to a movie theater are mostly people of color. They're the ones that are driving the box office. So it's like, stop ignoring the stats, stop ignoring the data. Even if you don't care about just being a good person that wants different stories to exist,

just look at the business of it. Look at the business of it alone. And so that's what my table looks like and looking at the actual stats and business and letting stories be told from the people that experience those stories. I don't believe in this filter of like, our stories need to go through this system

of people that think they know better, they're making it up. Listen, I'm not saying we're placed. I'm saying there's room for all stories. There's room for all stories. We've got to stop playing ourselves. That. It's so tired.

That part. And that's the thing. Much like we all, nobody wants to go to the same restaurant every Friday night. Nobody wants to see the same movie every Friday night. Like, give us some variety

so we can enjoy ourselves. And to your point, even if you're not caught up on the moral core of equity, look at the math. Absolutely. I talk about that in terms of like activism, in terms of investing in women's sports,

in terms of things like making film and television. When the math and the morals meet, it's literally undeniable. There's no other way. And it's only a very niche group of people trying to deny what's right in front of their faces. So on that subject matter, this might be your first,

your first zone of the table for film but you've been building big tables in sport in content creation as a writer, as a director as an investor talk to us

about the thesis of Unicorn Island and for listeners that hear this and say I want to be involved in something like that where do they go? Unicorn Island is my company name because I'm an adult

and I can call it whatever I want Yeah. Okay? I can call Unicorn Island if I want, and that's what I do. So it's called Unicorn Island. It has two parts. Unicorn Island Productions, which is, again, going back to my film. But then there's Unicorn Island Fund, which is the charitable part of it.

And the thesis is the same across both, which is the belief that storytelling can impact culture, and more specifically, that you can use storytelling to change the way girls and women are valued. So I'm all, my entire life mission is girls and women. That is the chip on my shoulder. That is the thing that keeps me up by night. That is something that wakes me up in the morning. girls and women. We have lots of trauma to justify why that is, but you can watch my TED Talk if you want to have more on that. But I just really believe that one of the greatest injustices is the fact that 50% of the world population doesn't get the opportunity, doesn't have the rights, doesn't get the education. It makes no, going back to math, not mathing, the human race is literally discrediting 50% of their team. Yes. And I don't know if you checked, the world is in a pretty bad place. Yeah, it turns out it's not working out great for us. You know what I'm saying? In terms of climate, in terms of poverty, in terms of so many things, it makes, no sense, no matter how you look at it, to not give girls and women the opportunities in education and rights and resources they need. It makes no sense. It hurts everyone.

And so Unicron Island is all about how do we change the culture around how girls and women are treated. And why I emphasize culture is because, and we particularly do this through de-weaponizing shame. That's why I'm so big on shame. Because it's easy to give money to causes. And the best example I give is in so many places around the world, it's not that the school doesn't exist. It's not that the road doesn't exist to the school. It's not that the bus doesn't exist. It's that a father believes his daughter should not be sent to school. Right? That is the problem. You can't throw money at that particular problem. You can throw it at all the other pieces of that equation. But that problem gets changed by culture. That problem gets changed by changing

that dad's mind and empowering that young girl to be able to speak up and speak out and be safe in doing so. And how do you do that? I've gone across different villages in India and different cities in India being like, what do you watch? Where do you get your stories from? Where do you get your ideas from? And it's always a story in some capacity. There's actually a study done in one rural village in India, which was really, really cool. There was an Indian soap opera that was like just two seasons long. And they tracked people's opinions about child marriage in that village over these two seasons of the soap opera. And the soap opera was very simple. It just had a woman who got married later in life. Like her parents wanted to get married younger. And through the

season, you see her parents like be okay with her getting married older. And in that village literally the rate of girls getting married got older just through that soap opera so you see the direct correlation between stories and movies and actors and actors and all these things with real life and so that's what unicranal is all about you know i have conversations with a lot of influential people about taboo subjects and hopes that people can watch it and be like oh i i cannot open up about these subjects whether it's sex whether it's mental health whether it's about abuse domestic violence whatever maybe that's one way we do it but doing it is just the the the typical of the iceberg of what we're trying to do in terms of like we want to change the way the world

values girls and women yes in a really really big real way I love that yeah and to your point telling people's stories and centering them is relevant to everyone I mean you look at the you look at the data around the way that in this country opinions about marriage equality changed during the course of will and grace being on TV because people went oh I like I like that guy yeah he's great totally he shouldn't be denied the right to be in a hospital with his spouse or the right to have a spouse at all like why and I think it's a really important thing you know even as we look around the country we live in now men's rights don't vary from state to state but women's do correct and they're trying to make queer people's rights vary from state to state and that's not America that's not freedom that's not the founding documents of equality that's That's a system that is at its core unjust. And if we can tell stories that don't rile everybody up on the quick political factoid, but instead remind people that their neighbors are good people,

whether they're sons or daughters, gay or straight, like it's incredibly important. I think especially to be the antidote to some of this kind of poison for profit. that we see in the clickbait and the rage bait right now what's your like demo of people listen to this is a majority women is it men what's what you know i mean it's definitely a majority women on this show um but i do really like when i get when i get the boys that are like oh i just love the podcast and now it's also really cute because i we've been on long enough that i get dads that are like my daughter started putting your podcast on in the card now she gets mad when I listen to episodes before she's listening to that.

And it's like, nothing like a sweet dad telling me he loves this show. The reason I ask is because I feel like a lot of times, listen, I've been talking about gender equality and gender equity for a long time. And I know sometimes the immediate response from a lot of men is like an eye roll to be like, oh my God, this again, you use the gender card. I really do feel like it's not known enough all the negative ways men are impacted by gender inequity and the patriarchy. And that is if you're a man listening to this, or if you're a woman and you're

like, I know a man that could probably hear this. if you really think that the patriarchy and this stuff doesn't impact you like I want you men to reflect on every moment you feel so stressed and anxious because you are just burdened with expectations of like can't talk about your mental health

you're not allowed to cry you were expected to be the breadwinner you expect it to be tough you probably didn't get to follow your passion maybe when you were younger you were told you couldn't do X, Y, Z because you were a boy. Like all of that is the patriarchy.

So when we talk about gender equity we're also talking about liberating men and boys in a very, very real way. Totally. There was a study recently done in India where, like, young boys were surveyed to be like just about their mental health and about their family lives. And the amount of young boys that say, I don't remember the last time I was hugged. Like, hugged. Now, you tell me, do you think that Gardner's a healthy adult man who if you've never been exposed to affection or never been told you've done a good job or you're allowed to cry or you're allowed to have emotions?

You are also going through a mental health crisis. Yes. A lot of men, right? And so, like, really, truly, I mean, some bottom of my heart, when we talk about gender equity, we're talking about the betterment of every person, not just girls and women. And you should research this more because there's so many stats about this. Yes. So many. Economies would flourish.

100%. Governments would be more peaceful. A hundred percent. Like, there's so many stats about this. And we know it to be true. And that's the thing, too, like, there's this misnomer, right? That, for example, if we created gender equity in terms of pay parity, the men are like, then we'd be getting paid. And it's like, no. But the GDP of this country, if I snapped my fingers and everyone was

getting paid the same in America, the actual GDP of the country would increase by 14 points. Correct. So everyone would just have more money, which would also mean you wouldn't be so stressed about making so much money because your partner would also have money. And then everyone would just be able to go on vacation. And then we just have our yachts next to each other. It sounds really nice. It sounds like you're preventing us from having our yachts next to each other. if you're in disagreement with this, to be honest. I don't even need a yacht. I just need like a boat that can pull a wakeboard and I'm set.

There you go. And you know what? If you believe in the patriarchy, you're preventing that from happening. You heard it here first. You're denying me my wakeboarding. Absolutely. Absolutely. Sir.

Well, not that you need anything more on your plate, but I know you love to have things on your plate. I do love it. Like you love you. I think we're similar in this way that the more there is for, us to touch and learn and focus on the more kind of whole we feel? Absolutely. More excited we feel. So when you survey this big landscape of everything you have going on and everything coming up, what feels like your work in progress? Hmm. Okay. So I'm going to give you an, I don't know if you're going to like this answer, but this is my most honest answer. Okay. I've been very actively trying to

learn that my, these projects that I love so much and the work that I do and I love it. I love so much, and my accolades and accomplishments are not actually my identity. Okay? So my real work in progress is Lily. It's always going to be me. It's going to be the evolution of who I am. It's, I love this movie, and I hope it does really well, and I do have, of course, I naturally have expectations,

but how I value those expectations is very different from how I would have valued them a year, like a decade ago, honestly. So my work in progress is to be a student for life. I'm a big, that is my life mission, is to be, it's my most recent tattoo. It's like student for life. I want to learn as much as possible. I want to evolve as much as possible. I don't want to stay the same. I want to grow every single day.

And that is my work in progress. I want to master my mind to the best of my ability. I want to be as self-aware as I possibly can be. I want to learn about people. I want to learn about things. I want to be proven wrong. I want to fail a million more times. I want to win a million more times.

My work in progress is always going to be my mind and my spirituality and my growth, always. Beautiful. Yeah. I love it. And hopefully along the way, I can have some good box office numbers and I can have successful movie or two. But those things are not who I am. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. If

your job had to change tomorrow, who you are stays with you. Exactly. Because you know tomorrow I could just as easily be an event planner. You know this, Sophia. Oh my God, you're so good at it. I could make a charcutory board at the drop of a hat right here. You know it. That is always my party, my party trick. But I feel

like you could do the charcutory board and also the entire interior in the time it would probably take the rest of us to just do the board. So. I could be an Thank you so much. That's a nicest thing I haven't ever said to me. I really.

I see you. I see you and I love you and I thank you for coming today. I see you and I love you and I thank you for having me. Thank you. Proud of you. You're so hot.

Hey. Yeah. This is an IHeart podcast.