Drama Queens - Work in Progress: Troian Bellisario

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

From roaming the halls of high school in the cult classic "Pretty Little Liars" to patrolling the streets of Long Beach in Prime Video's new series "On Call," Troian Bellisario is crushing it! The actor, writer, and director trades stories with Sophia about growing up and working in L.A., seeing the city come together in the wake of the devastating wildfires, their similar experiences of starring in hit shows at a young age, and cute stories of "nerdy" Troian meeting her hubby Patrick J. Adams in college! Plus, Troian shares why she thought she would never get the role of Officer Traci Harmon in the Dick Wolf-produced show "On Call," feeling imposter syndrome on set and her revealing and honest work in progress!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, everyone. It's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Hello, Whipsmarties. Today, I'm sitting down with a woman I absolutely adore from life and also from television, who, like myself, agree. grew up on essentially a cult classic TV show. Today's guest on Work in Progress is none other than Troy and Bellasario, who we all fell in love with on Pretty Little Liars, and who has made such an incredible career as an actor, a director, a writer, and now she is starring on Dick Wolf's newest show On Call on Amazon Prime. It is an adrenalineized and visceral police drama that follows a rookie and a rookie and a

veteran officer played by Trojan as they go on patrol in Long Beach, California. This show is so good. It is so well written. It is so well shot. And it happens to hail from many of the same team members that I worked on Chicago PD with. And I just, oh, I love everything about it. I can't wait to talk to Troyan about what it was like to go from high school drama to cop show and all of her incredible work in between. Let's dive in. Oh, no, you look amazing. You sweet angel. I had to do a meeting today with, like, a stranger on Zoom.

And I looked in the mirror this morning and was like, oh, I've been in storage units for three days, like, gathering supplies for friends who's housing. is burned down and I need to redo it all. So I actually like washed my hair today. It was a big deal. Incredible. And then you just look like this all the time. Yes. What's that like? You have just perfect face all the time. Oh, no, I was thinking you mean the sweatshirt that I dropped my children off in school in and my hair up in the craziest ponytail. It's so good to see you. It's so good to see you. How are you guys? Everything's okay. We are exceptionally and exceedingly lucky. We're doing okay. We were out of town for a little bit, you know, just left and then just got back. And yeah, how are you doing? It's just been wild. I mean, likewise, it was weird. What a stupid thing. But it's like my best friend, who's my business partner and I were speaking. at CES last week. So we were in Vegas just like bopping around. And then suddenly we were like,

what's going on? Like what is happening at home? And my parents had to evacuate. And so we evacuated them to my house. And then they had to evacuate my house. And it was like, and now we're okay. But we're all just kind of waiting. Yeah. It's really, really, I don't know how to describe it. It feels so strange to be, like, doing stuff like this this week because, you know, whenever I'm listening to the news or looking at watch duty or anything online, it's just like, okay, wind advisory, like, we're not, we haven't seen the end of this. And I've, I just, like, I don't even know how the city begins to process, rebuild. you know we're not even through it so it's this bizarre kind of you know awful limbo well and it's such a weird thing you know there there was that uh i don't remember where it started but someone had posted you know climate change will be a series of disasters you watch on your phone until you're

the one filming it yeah and it's like i was listening to this climate scientist interviewed at the top of the week and he was talking about how everyone in L.A. who's been affected by these fires is now a climate refugee. Wow. And it really, it shifted something mentally for me and I was like, oh boy, it has, it really has arrived on our doorstep. Yeah. And it's very surreal. And then at the same time, exactly as you said, life has to go on. People have to go to work. You know, So many people I know are like desperate to get back to work, you know, and we have to do these things. But I do feel really lucky that at least for the past week, I was basically able to shut everything down and just start managing, you know, going through things because one of one of the

girls on my team, her family's house burned down. They have nothing. And we were just like, okay, we can gather furniture, we can gather supplies, we can pack clothes, we can pack cosmetics. We can shuttle things to donation centers. We can shuttle things to people we know. And it was pretty cool to just watch everyone in our universe, just stop and serve. Yeah. It's very special. Yeah.

I don't know if you follow. There's a gentleman on Instagram who I absolutely adore. His name is his Instagram handle is Blakely Thornton. Yes. Yes. We're afraid he's a friend of mine. I'd die for him. He's so amazing.

And he was just saying how the, the beautiful thing to come out of all of this horrific horror is the community service, is just like the L.A. community just wrapping its arms around everybody it possibly can and just being, you know, being there. Yeah. I feel extremely lucky and, like you said, extremely grateful to be, you know, yesterday was just me going to Costco and buying underwear packs and socks packs and pallets of water. just being like, where, you know, where can I go?

Who needs it? Where can I go? So, yeah. Yeah, I feel extremely lucky. It's special. And I mean, you also grew up here. Yeah. So it's like, I don't know, I feel such pride in the way that people are getting to see what our city is, not what they think it is, not what they judgmentally call it, but what it is and how hard L.A. rides for L.A. And I just, yeah, I love our, I love our city. I know. I know. It's, and it's something that, you know, because I'm, it's, it's, obviously, everybody who's in L.A. who's been affected is, is reeling. And everybody who's in L.A. who hasn't been affected in the most dramatic ways is reeling. And like you said, when, when this is your hometown, too, your, you know, your heart just aches because I've never seen anything like this. We've never seen. L.A. has never seen anything like this. Like, not at this level. And so it really, like you said, it ushers in a new era of what we have to be prepared for, of what the city has to, you know, prepare its citizens for and take care of us for.

So, yeah. Yeah. What a wild, man, I was really hoping 2025 was not going to come out of the gates this hot. But, yeah. If every year previously has taught me anything. thing, it's just, like, don't get your hopes up. Yeah, just stop saying this is going to be our year. Just enough, enough of that.

It's okay. Yeah, it's just, it's just a new year. Enough of that. Did you love growing up here? I mean, who, you grew up here too, right? Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, yes, I loved growing up here.

I also, like, didn't know anything different. Yeah. You know? Totally. It's like, I went to the. same school, K through 12, and everybody was like, oh, did you love that school? And I was like, sure, I love that school. I also had never been to another school. So how would I know, you know, it's just this is what home feels like to me, you know, home feels like the, you know,

the Ripley's, believe it or not, and the Mulholland, you know, drives and the Topanga canyons and the beach and the mountains. It's like it just all feels like home. So I don't know. What was your experience growing up? Same. I think the sort of biodiversity of this place was always so amazing to me. And you just said it, you know, you can be up hiking peaks and then in the ocean at sunset.

It's so, it's just so special. And that was what was funny to me is so many people from outside. I think L.A. just totally revolves around the business. And for me, growing up here, L.A. really revolved around nature. But, yeah, the business is also so intrinsic in it. And I think, I guess not, I think. I wonder, especially for you, because you grew up in, like, a television family. was was your childhood also sort of experienced on set or did your parents keep you really separate from that universe when you were a kid well it was funny um it was experienced on set i was extremely fortunate that my parents just like constantly took me to work um so i really did have the experience especially with my my older brother michael of like growing up on the universal backlot and then

the Paramount Backlot and just kind of running around and those were just joyful memories because getting to be there with my parents and watch what they do and watch them working and see how those sets functioned was just really super exciting. But my parents conversely were also very clear that I was not allowed to work until I finished college. Yeah. And which was great, you know, I was allowed to do like little things, but they were just like, you're not allowed to drop out. You're not allowed to get emancipated. I mean, I love that idea. I mean, like, you can't get emancipated.

Like, that's the whole effing point of emancipation. Yeah. Is that your parents won't get to tell you that. But I really accepted my parents, you know, sort of like stipulations about get a college degree because then, you know, you have a plan B and C. I did get my college degree in acting. so I don't know what they thought about that. Right.

I was like, yeah, my backup plan is acting. My plan B is my plan A. Yeah, my plan B is my plan A. That's the way I'll get around this. But it was just a really wonderful experience because it also allowed me to have a very inside look at like the luckiest actors. You know, I think a lot of actors who come to L.A.

and who maybe, you know, who don't have the great fortune that I did to, like, experience sets without getting the job. Yeah. I got to see the way a set is run and I got to see the way lights are set up and the way wardrobe, you know, the wardrobe department functions and, like, all of these key things that have to happen before and for the actor to finally step in and, like, step on a mark. And so it felt, I don't know, I just felt so lucky that I got to, like, see. how the sausage was made, you know? It's like, kind of like growing up in a bakery, it's just like, yeah, it's great to bake bread, you know, like I get to see it from the inside. Yeah. Well, and I think it's so cool because there is so much work and it really, you know, the 200 people that it requires to make something for you to know that so early. And also,

I think, to understand the, you know, the importance of your crew and all the things you never see in the finished product is really such a gift. On that note, I just want to like add that it was really because my parents were constantly on set, like obviously I was not on set with them all the time. Yeah. But they would come home very late. They would leave very early because they were constantly on set. And so I also had the experience of being the kid who was away from my family when they were at work. And then when I was working and I saw the crew that got there and loaded in and, you know, before and like we're there after the actors wrapped out, I wouldn't know.

I would be like, you got a kid at home, you got a partner at home, like you're spending more time with us than you are with them. So like I had a real kind of like front seat appreciation for everybody on the crew and how much time and energy it took just to be a part of something. And now a word from our sponsors who make this show possible. It's such a privilege to know the ins and outs of it. And to your point, you know, it requires so much sacrifice. You know, I think there's, again, from outside, much like L.A., there's,

this misnomer that being on a set is like all sort of privileged and fancy. And it's like, no, no, it's 16, 17 hours a day and it's hard. And you build such a kind of second family. Because as you said, you're with these people more than you're with your own family. I know for us that was sort of gorgeous and really tough on One Tree Hill, especially because we were all so young. I mean, I think I'd been 21 for like three weeks or something when I moved out there. And, you know, now I think about how lucky we are to be so close as adults who've like gone to therapy and healed our shit and like done the work, you know, and I wish we'd had some of those skills then.

How was it for you guys? I mean, I know you were 24 when Pretty Little Liars started airing. Yeah. Was it also kind of a jumble of, you know, closeness and like total shenanigans? Oh, absolutely. It's interesting really that you say that your experience on One Tree Hill, too, you guys were, you weren't on location because the entire show was out there,

but you were on location. You were away from your home and away from your families. And that is really, you know, that was Lucy's experience. That was Shea's experience. but Sasha who had her parents in L.A., Ashley, who had her parents in Orange County and me who had my family in L.A., like the fact that we were, we were all different ages and different experiences. And I wonder if this happened too with you guys. Like, because I was 24 and I had gone to college, I finished high school and finished college. And a lot of the girls had gotten their GEDs or had been homeschooled or who didn't go to college. And so there were a lot of, in the very beginning, I would say, like a lot of high school experiences, literally that like they were getting to go through in high school. You know, we were shooting in a hallway and that was not their high school experience because they'd been homeschooled, you know, or like we were going to a prom. And it's like, I had my prom experience, you know, but like they didn't.

And so there were a lot of like definite shenanigans going on. but I think I always felt like the older sister, you know, that like got to go away to college and now was like coming back on Thanksgiving break. And I was like, oh, okay, I see what you guys are up to. Yeah. But I'm good. But it was also really fun because as you say, they become your second family. Like, we really felt like sisters because you're spending all this time together

and you're not always going to be best friends. but like a sibling, if anybody has a sibling, you know, it doesn't matter if you're not best friends. It doesn't matter if you got in a fight the day before. You're like, you're still at dinner together. You're still hanging out. You know, it's fine because you know, like, it's just these are your, it's like your second family, you know, as you said. Does that make any sense? Absolutely. Because it's real life dynamics. It's not a rom-com. It's like, you know, we talk about it a lot. We were together for. 10 years and none of us had any idea how to be adults when we first met. And we went through

all of our shit together where we loved each other. We hated each other. We were obsessed with each other. We were fighting. We were doing all the things that you do in your young life. But if anybody from outside our little circus family had anything negative to say about anybody in it, it was like, hell no. Like, of course. You know, and that's such a special thing. And it's like, it's the real dynamic of something like that. And I think for me, I think Hillary was probably more in the position you were because, you know, she'd been in college and then was working at MTV and was really like involved in that whole world. And I went to an all girls, like 55 girls in my graduating class, small prep school. I never had a traditional high school anything. Oh my God.

And then I'd done three years of college and, you know, was like the philanthropy. chair of my sorority. Nobody's shocked there. And then I got on set and was like, I don't know what it's like to go to high school with boys. I don't know. I don't know any of this. So in a weird way, even though I was such like a book smart kid, I had no real life experience. And Hillary was definitely, even though we're only a week apart, like my smarter older sister who was like, oh, you're going to make all these stupid mistakes. And I'm going to say I told you so. But I'm going to be the person who like catches you also when you fall and it was absolutely ridiculous and amazing and yeah like such a weird it's just such a weird journey and i think especially on shows like both of hours

they hit the zeitgeist in a way that you just can't be prepared for i mean was it so surreal to you when suddenly it was everywhere how did you how did you kind of process such fast fame and and the the fandom that came along with a show like that. Well, I mean, I kind of want to flip it around and ask you because how long were you, how long were you in, was it North Carolina? Yeah. Yeah.

How long a year were you in North Carolina? Ten months. Like nine to ten months. And then you'd come home for a little bit. And what was it like when you came back to L.A.? I don't totally know because I wanted to work so much that like any movie that happened to have its shooting dates on my hiatus, by the way, some which were not good, I still wanted to go do just to experience something else. I think I would probably make choices slightly differently from my adult perspective now. But there were years when I barely came home. Like I'd come home for a weekend, I'd fly back, you know, to try to see my friends for one night and then I'd go back to Wilmington. That was the weirder part of it, I think, was never really feeling like anywhere was home because if I was totally invested there,

I was missing so much here. And if I'd fly home here, I'd miss weekends with friends there. I kind of felt like I could never get the balance right, which I mean, I think women feel in every way between life and work. Like, what's life work balance? For sure. But I think what was weird for us was being in such a bubble. Like even now, sometimes my best friends will be like you you do know you're a famous person right and I'm like but I'm not really like right and I'll fill in the blank like so-and-so is really famous and they're like you're not paying attention to what's happening in this room since you walked into it I don't know what um what that is why we I don't know if you experienced that I think I think we were very much

always told that our show wasn't such a big deal probably because they never wanted anyone to ask for a raise because when they sign you on a six-year TV contract for no money, they don't want to pay you more money. And they sadly don't have to. But like, you know, I still don't quite know how to process it. Yeah. Do you feel that? Yeah, for sure.

I mean, I feel, hmm, it's interesting because my experience, you know, like you said, well, because we shot in L.A., so, and because, because I was dating Patrick throughout all of it, and he was shooting throughout all of it at the same time. But in Toronto, it was, most of my weekends were flying to see him or him coming to see me. So it was interesting because, like, I would have my PLL experience during the week,

and then I would, like, go to Canada or, like, you know, he would come here and I would try to, like, see as much of him as possible. And, but then I was very, lucky in that, like, so many of my friends that I grew up with, like, were in L.A., you know what I mean? And so I would get to see them. But I never experienced the, like, shock of fame, you know? I guess, like, I've had those experiences when I've gone to someplace that's outside of America.

Yeah. You know, I feel very fortunate in that, like, Los Angeles. people like really don't care that much you know and they're like okay um but also because i don't i don't know how to like do this the way that it is done when i'm on a show like pll i get a lot of when i'm outside people are like oh man you look so much like that girl i get that a lot too you know or they're like oh have you seen pretty little liars and i'm like i've seen a couple episodes you're like uh-huh uh-huh yeah totally get that all the time that's that's my experience But then it's lovely because then when people do recognize you, our fans have always been so kind and so gracious.

Like, you know, I feel like so fortunate in that we have a very rabid and passionate fan base, but they are the sweetest and kindest and gentlest of souls. You know what I mean? You don't have like fans that are like mean or, you know, expect too much from you. you know it's like yeah great i would say i feel very lucky patrick and i always say like we're the luckiest amount of famous because like yes we're you know we we get invited to cool things or we get to like have wonderful experiences uh with other celebrities but we can still go grocery shopping and like who cares fly under the radar and have a semblance of a normal life now i don't remember because fun fact for the for the friends at home patrick and i were in the same class at

USC i know it's so crazy one of like my oldest sweetest friends and i can't remember did you guys meet at SC or after so we met after so we was after okay yeah we we there were actually moments when we met we found at USC like no was a moment yeah it's he um you would have been already gone shooting But he did Marat Sade that, like, Fred, did you hear about the production of Marat Sade? It was like so many of your classmates. Okay. So right after they graduated, your class graduated, he in that summer, like, put together a big production of Marat Sade that like kind of went into the fall, I guess, or I don't remember

when it was. But it was, so we met then because a bunch of seniors that I was then doing a play with where, like, you have to come see this class and, like, this class is amazing. And so we discovered that we actually met, like, then. I think I, you know, I was like a nerdy freshman and they were like, this is Patrick. He directed it.

And I was probably like, ooh. You're like, cool. It was really good, man. Oh, my God. I was like, it was amazing. That's so cool. And he, you know, in my memory, like, was standing underneath a street light with like a cigarette.

And he was like, cool. You know, like it was like a whole Godard film. And I was just like a full Urkel in response. And then, he came back to school my junior year and he gave me and Brian Jordan Alvarez the Jack Nicholson award because he had won it, I guess his junior year. So we met then. But then after school when I graduated, being at the Geffen was my first job. And that was the play that we met. So yeah, it was after. Wow.

It's crazy. And then you went and did something on suits and he came in and did something on PLL. like were you guys just sort of game to play because you were in this back and forth of travel and long distance and all the things and just wanted to figure it out yeah it was they were actually two very funny very different stories and one of them was uh it was the first season of pretty little liars and we actually broke up i broke up with him and like the morning after we broke up he got the audition for something for pretty little liars and he knew gail pilsbury our casting director and he like prepared the crap out of it and went in and was just like did the audition and gail was like you're amazing i love you and he was like okay but like i really want this role and then

he called his agents at the time the managers and they were like okay like you're coming in really hot for like an abc family like guest star role like I don't understand you know because they were like we're trying to give you like on your own show right now and he was like yeah but I want this guest star and then he got it and then he called me and he was like okay well I know that we just broke up but like I'm going to be at your table read and I'm going to be on your set so you know we should probably like talk or something like that and then we fully talked which I think you know what that means and got back together and then the mofo wasn't even at the table read we never should. shot the same day. Like it was, but it is a hilarious, like, you know, part of our history that he then is like, he put in the work. He put in the work. And then by the time I was always on the set of suits, because when I would get a day off,

I would fly there. And so I was just like a fixture at their craft service table and at behind video village. So obviously I knew, you know, the writers and I knew the showrunners and all of that. And so when it came time when they had a character. you know they're uh absolutely amazing uh casting director bonnie was just like oh this is trojan's role and so we got to work it out so it was like joyous because it was a you know work vacation where i got to see him and like actually work with all of the people that i had just been like sneaking around getting snacks for in between takes you know and trying to be like a little

set mouse um yeah so that was how that happened that's so special it's really really nice And now a word from our sponsors. It's so cool to me to watch all the things that you've chosen to do, you know, not just as an actor, but as a writer and as a producer. I mean, from feed to all of these, like, incredible films and projects you've gone to work on, how have you tried to cultivate all of that, you know, how were you leaning into these other aspects of your talent while you were making this massive TV show? I mean, first of all, thank you for saying that. It was always like, because my parents are writers and directors, they always told me when I was watching the actors on their sets, they were like, you're watching the luckiest point zero zero one

percent of actors you know that these are talented right outside that gate there are equally talented people it's they just didn't have the same luck that these ones had you know and so they they put into me at a very young age that you got to work your ass off you've got to you know be as good as you can but also like a certain element of it is just luck and there's nothing you can do to change that but they did tell me that's you know while acting is a very uncontrollable thing, something that is controllable, is writing and directing. So if you need a creative outlet and you can't, like, you know, there's only so many monologues I can do by myself in my office if I have like the urge to be creative. Yeah. You know, but I can sit down at my

desk and I can write and, you know, come up with new worlds, which is, you know, what my parents do so well. So I remember being on, you know, waiting for the Geffen show to begin when I was just out of college. And I had a month before rehearsal started and I was like chomping at the bit, you know, but I couldn't get like a job, even for a month. Like I couldn't, I was working at coffee bean. I couldn't go back to coffee being because I'm like, you guys are, I'm going to leave in a month, you know? So, so I, but I started writing because I didn't know what else to do. And then that script became the first feature, which was feed. And then I remember all of my shorts, like being on set on pretty little liars and feeling,

feeling creatively, like, stifled because, as you know, from those 10-month shooting schedules, you know, there are stretches of time where you're working on amazing stuff and you're like engaged and all of that stuff. And then you have like a week where you have a line, but you're on set all the time and you're like, ooh, I have nothing to do. And so I would sit in my chair and I would write. And it was really helpful because then when I got off the show and especially when I got pregnant and my agents were basically like, see you when your, you know, your stomach doesn't take up an entire frame of the camera.

That was when I really was so grateful that I knew how to direct. And I, you know, Joanna Johnson, who was just, she had just left the fosters had just ended and she was just making good trouble. And she was incredible. And she gave me my first job outside of the PLL family while I was like eight and a half months pregnant. And then like just kept on hiring me through, you know, both pregnancies and breastfeeding and all of that. So it was, it was just a really fortunate, like, way for me to continue to have a job. and be a mom, which is awesome. Yeah, definitely not easy.

How do you approach directing? Because to direct a show that you're on, I think, is an easier transition. You know it like the back of your hand. But to go onto something like Good Trouble, where do you like to start when you get a script and you have to learn a world? Well, I was very fortunate in that I, in order for me to start directing on, I'm pretty little liars. The studio actually stipulated that I would need to go through the Warner Brothers

Directors TV program. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah, which was, I mean, like it sounds like it was a big hoop that they made me jump through, but like I didn't get to go to film school. So it was, you know, you can shadow directors all day long, but like until somebody teaches you how to actually like make a shot list, you know, this is all stuff you're learning on the fly and or break down a scene and so I was so so grateful that they um they said that I had to do that if I could you know in order for me to have my episode and it was awesome because

I would shoot uh Monday through Friday on the show and then on Saturdays I would go back to Warner brothers and there would be six hours where I was with a group of people and we were using the pretty little liar sets for class. So it was like the most perfect setup for me to like imagine, okay, now this is how I'm going to talk to our amazing DP or this is how I'm going to talk, you know, like practice. And then like you said, the big step out of that is when you go to another show. So then the next show that I did was famous and love, which was really great because it was the same crew. And it was the same studios, but in different sets, different actors, but the same, you know, Marlene was still a producer, Lisa Cochran was the creator. Lisa Cochran was our producer. And so it was still like within the family. And that was really wonderful. And then when Joanna hired me, it was great because it was in the first season of Good Trouble. So I got to be there, I think, for the second and third episode, which were, amazing and created by the other showrunners, Brad and Peter.

And so I got to like absorb, I was like, oh, this is their visual style. And I got to watch them communicate with the most incredible DP, Marco. And I got to see how the set functioned. And like from the very beginning, see the characters, like, go through their first three storylines, you know? and that's like you said it's if I go to another set I'm extremely nervous it is so it's so overwhelming because like you said you're especially when you're stepping into an established show like nobody knows the characters like the actors you're speaking with you know the crew has been here

generally from the very beginning and so you really are the odd man woman out who comes in and who's like, I think we should put the camera there. And, you know, you see them be like, oh, my God, we'd never put the camera there. And you're like, I'm there. Like, it's, you know, it's a lot of juggling. But the best you can do is I just try to absorb as much of the show as I can, you know, watch,

try to make notes about the visual style. Yeah. If I can shadow another director, do that, get other scripts, and just really get in the practice of, okay, here's how I would break down this, you know, this scene if I were doing it or like, oh, I see how they played out that scene and that makes sense because sometimes when you're coming on to a set, you don't have a script, you know? Yeah. As you know, you have an outline or you have like a general gist of the scene. Yeah. And so it's, yeah, it's, and then the biggest thing that I do is just

lean so hard on the crew that has been creating the show up until then, you know, a really just stand next to the DEP and the camera operators as much as possible. And I'm like, okay, I'm really thinking this for this shot. And they're like, yeah, that seems great. And I'm like, okay, good, good. Yeah. So. Totally.

I mean, it's exciting. It's like, it's, I love, I love, you know, when I get to talk with other women that I really admire, particularly about directing. I just want there to be more of us everywhere. Yeah. Well, what is your, have you directed? a lot on other shows as well? No. So we, I directed the last three seasons on One Tree Hill, which I loved. And then the show that I did after that, there was like a, our actors don't direct

policy, which I think now has begun to shift in that space, but at the time was like very firm. And then what I've mostly done since then is like really start developing and producing. And so it feels exciting, you know, having, I really wanted to understand production because I have such a natural inclination for it on set anyway. And it was so nice to have, you know, the mentors that I had in some of our on-site producers in Wilmington who were like, you're a producer. Like, you just do that naturally. It's been nice these last few years to lean into that. But I'm really starting to get the directing it again. Really? Yeah, I just love it. I love being able to

look at the full picture of what's happening on a set and and I I always really enjoy working with other actors as directors. I just think that it's it's great it's like a great niche for us particularly yeah yeah I mean I feel I also think something that feels so good for me about it is the ability to be creative and inhabit like an emotional moment or a story, but not have to deal with the insecurity of my face or wondering what it's doing or the frustration of like, I don't know if this happens to you, but like all the time when I prepare for a scene as an actor, there's a way that I expect the scene will go, the way that I hope the scene will go. And then there is what I view is my own limitations and like the

frustration of like oh i wanted it to be here and i imagined it being here you know but but there's that frustration of my own instrument and like not really occupying that and i there's just a freedom when i'm watching somebody else you know find their way in that i just feel so excited to like be in service of them you know because you can see it from the outside you're like oh oh my god they totally have it i just need to like free them of that or give them that permission or have the move over here and, like, being a part of that collaboration is so fulfilling, you know? Yeah. It's lovely.

And I think it's interesting, too, because you'll, the way you talk about watching other people do it, you know, you make space for people to have their experience. And it can really be hard to give yourself the kind of space that you'll give to others. I think by nature as performers, we're so hard. on ourselves and yeah i think there's something it feels nice to be artistically free absolutely i couldn't agree more how did you decide on the new show like what was it about on call that made you go that's my next gig for sure well i certainly did not do that at all with on call like and not like to knock the the show but like I've never ever had an experience of being like that's my next show like all of the my experiences are like oh my god I so desperately want this job

or like this will never happen like it's just like I've never had a moment of you know feeling that like confident and and even especially with this show so I hadn't been on a you know I hadn't been a series regular since pretty little liars um and a lot of that was because uh my girls were so young and um and so it was really like you know for the past let's see aurora six so for the past six years or seven years the counting the year that i was pregnant with her um you know it was like would i be in the right like literally like would i be not pregnant enough to to shoot this in the window am i too pregnant am i breastfeeding um the other difficult thing is you know our home base being la i really did not consider taking work outside of l.a and that's really hard and as you know from

where the industry is right now not a lot shoots in los angeles and um and And so it was, you know, like I hate to talk about like gender dynamics, but it was so much easier. I think for the place that Patrick was in in his career too, he did a lot of like limited series. Yeah. And so even when it was a limited series away in Scotland, it was like, oh, you're going away to Scotland for this set amount of time. Like that makes sense. The things that I was being offered to audition for were not limited. they were longer series

and they meant completely relocating our family. And that is just a really big decision to take on. And there's this real big toss-up of things where it's like, you don't even have the job and you have to consider this. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I kind of for a while did that thing where I was just like, just pursue a job, just any job.

And it ended up almost making us move to Albuquerque. and which was like the job was awesome but then like I was getting down the line and I was going to do a studio test and I was like oh my god what am I like we are not prepared to if this goes my way to do this and so after you know pulling out you're you don't want to like waste people's time and you don't want to you know tell people you want to do something when ultimately you can't so so when on call came around it was truly like one of the the first auditions that I had where it was like, oh, wow, this is going to be shooting in and around the Los Angeles area. Absolute dream come true. A total dream. But then at the same time, I read the script and I was like, I'm never going to get this role. Like, never in a million.

I had never played a cop. I just was like, you know, she was like, I'd never played my age. That was the other thing is like she's in her early 40s and I had never even played somebody who was in her late 30s. yeah um so i was just like they're not looking for me and even when patrick and i made the tape for the audition i was like what do i do like do you have any notes and he was like you're not going to get this job so like just do whatever like it was like we both it wasn't like a knock it was just like you know this is never going to go my way and then when it did it was this like

absolute shock and uh this amazing thing because i thought the writing was just awesome And I was so scared, obviously, going to set every single day, just being like, when are they going to look up at the monitor and realize they've made a horrible mistake? You know, like, I just had imposter syndrome. No, you're so good in it. Thank you. But I do. And I bet I'll have imposter syndrome if we get a season two.

Like, I just, you know, I don't know when I'll be comfortable with this character. But it is funny because I've had that question recently where people are like, what about this job made you say like that's, you know, yours. And I was like, truly it was, it was Sarah Isaacson, the casting director. It was, you know, Elliot Wolf and Tim Walsh. And it was, you know, Dick Wolf just being like, oh my God. I mean, Dick Wolf is just like an absolute icon. I loved, I loved working for that man. And Tim is such a good writer. And so to see that you guys were all doing this together, just like, I was so. tickled when I read about it. I was like, oh my God, it's going to be so good. And it is. I just,

I really enjoy the pacing of the show and the edge of it. And it just feels so gritty and honest. You guys have done such a, such a phenomenal job with it. Thank you. Thanks. I feel extremely lucky to be a part of this show and this crew. And also, like you said, this. I think this is a real, like, kind of shift for wolf productions, you know, Wolf Entertainment because, you know, especially because it's for Amazon, like, we're able to do things that I think, you know, so many other shows have probably wanted to do, but we get to occupy a different footprint. And I, and I know, you know, I know for me, like, be.

Being in the PLL that was on Freeform and then seeing the Pretty Little Liars that was on HBO Max, you really see when you like walk so somebody else can run. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. And so I feel extremely grateful because I understand that I'm standing on the shoulders of such a legacy with Wolf Entertainment and so many amazing shows that have just like. I mean, they're just juggernauts. So it's like to be the new little kid on the street that's like kicking rocks and trying to make some noise, it's, I feel very, very fortunate. It's so great.

And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. Yeah, what are you up to these days other than hosting an amazing podcast? I mean, this is like such a wonderful constant that's so fun. It's really wild because this is the first, well, I guess technically the second now, like 2024 coming into that year was the first year I was not attached to a TV show in my entire career. No way. Like in development on something or, you know, a pod deal somewhere or whatever. and I really wanted to like take a breath and just see like, wait a second, what do I really want to do next?

And so I went and made this great movie last year that is an adaptation of a thriller from a big bestselling book in the UK that was so much fun. When will that be coming out? I don't even know yet. We're just doing key art now. And everyone always asks me these questions that I realize I should know the answers to. And I'm like, I don't know. No, but you don't because nobody ever tells you anything. I also think, well, that's the thing.

Our job, our world is so weird. I don't get attached to the details because I've realized that the more attached to details you are, the more anxious you'll be as a human. So I'm kind of like, eh, I don't know. And then there was another film we were supposed to shoot in New York, and then we lost our location, which was an absolute nightmare for us. Real estate moves in New York can really fuck up independent film. So now we're trying to figure out, like,

how we put it back together, and we will, but it was supposed to be a 2024, and now it looks like it'll be a 2025. And it's just like, yeah, I don't know, it's wild. I feel, I definitely needed a beat because doing network TV for 15 straight years just exhausted me. But I now am like, ooh, I'm starting to get the itch. Like, I'm ready to be back at work in that consistent way. because while I love making films, the, for me at least as an actor, and I wonder if you feel this. Like the ability to spend day in, day out with someone

and really build a life, that's the thing I love the most. I mean, movies are a dream, but it's like summer camp, it goes by so fast. And I love, I love the development we get to have in TV. It is a real, like, yeah, it's really, really, It's just such a different experience. And like you said, when you're doing especially network, network seasons, you know,

you have 10 months of being day and day out with this character and with this crew. And it's, you know, really awesome. I'll be very excited because our order, initial order, was like just eight half hour episodes. So it was supposed to be three and a half months. And then with the strike and with the holidays and then the how long. it took to come out. It was actually two years. Yes. It's like, I'm very excited to hopefully get back to some sort of like regularity. Yeah. I totally know how that feels. We went through the same thing. The last show that I did,

we only did one season of, but was the show called Good Sam. And I signed on to it at the top of 2020. And it was, and I started reading scripts in 2019. So it was really like a three-year process because of the pandemic and lockdowns and all the things for us to make a season of television. It was so surreal. And so it is really weird when you've, when in the before times a year was a year,

but in these like times of pandemics and strikes and things, like a year takes three years. It's so insane. It is really wild. And I was just listening to something else that was um oh my god but Francis Ford Coppola right he made the godfather part

he made the godfather and the conversation in like the same calendar year and maybe it was maybe it was Godfather part two and the conversation so he was up for both Academy Awards in the same year for those films

I think I'm saying that right but like that kind of like that kind of timeline just does not exist and it doesn't exist for you know, especially now that you're in producing as well, you're signing on to something and then it's getting in development and then it's finally going and then wild things that you can't control are happening. And then all of a sudden it's five, seven, eight years down the line. And that's why you said you can't get caught up in the details because you're like, I don't know. I don't know.

I'm like, I'm not even going to stress about it. I don't know. And I've learned that for people who don't work in the circus, that's very hard. Like friends, family, loved ones that are like, how do you not have more details? Or they'll be like, what do you mean we had one conversation about this? And now the whole thing is happening. And I'm like, I don't know. We made a plan. And so it's the plan, right?

Yeah. And I realize not everybody's nuts like us, but here we are. But here we are. Here we are. Oh, my gosh. It's wild. Well, I mean, I know you're waiting. find out if you get another order. I certainly hope you do because I'm loving the show.

What was it like to prepare for it? Because you said, you know, you had imposter syndrome. I guess that's just something we all have forever. But how did you wrap your head around it? Because I know what a preparer you are. You are such an organized professional person. So I would imagine you did a lot of prep ahead of shooting. What did that? look like for you well it was interesting because when they told me i got the job we were actually starting to shoot i'm not kidding a week and a half later oh my god so it was uh we were incredibly fortunate um in that we got to uh work with did you work with luch yeah yeah so Looch was so great.

He came out. He worked with us for, I think we got like two and a half days of just solid training with him. And that was amazing. And then, you know, they were kind enough to set us up with some ride-alongs in Long Beach so that we could meet some people from West Division and also just get out in the community and start to learn Long Beach as a, you know, a community. and then we were in it and we were fortunate to have really wonderful texts on set with us

because it was so not natural and it was really frightening for me because I was supposed to be playing a 12-year veteran member of the force. So I was like, this shit needs to look intrinsic. Like it needs to just be absolutely not thought about. And meanwhile, like I might have learned, you know, know five minutes before the take that they were like oh no no no you're not you know bringing your baton with this one and you're like do you just throw the car in gear and this is what you're doing and I was just like uh-huh okay okay and so we did that and we were kind of moving along kind of

finding our pace and then when we went down for the strike as you know a lot of shows did not come back yeah and it was six months of waiting to find out oh my god it's so stressful it was so stressful and and so I did I you know I would go to the scripts because we were about a little bit less than halfway through shooting the season and I would sit down with it on the strike and say like I have this time why don't I work on it and I would find that it was just like sometimes supremely painful I was like what if what if I don't get to go back on this you know and so yeah I kind of would like throw them on you know in my book bag and like shove it under my death and and then of course when they were like okay great like around they were like see you after

thanksgiving i was like oh father like oh my god um and so it was great to be back on set but it also felt like getting up and running again and remembering how your legs work and remembering how to approach you know leave the car and what the protocol was um so it you know the most i could do was really deeply just get involved in the um the emotional through line of the the character yeah and uh and really just like i like like i said before with directing just like really lean on the tech advisors just to be like i need you behind the camera and i need you to tell me if my right shoulders up or if i look tense or if something it looks out of place and just trusting them to to to make sure that I was being honest and yeah that was that was mostly and then you know

there's a bunch of really great documentaries and honestly quite a bit of footage online so i did a lot of that a lot of watching that that's awesome i'm so glad you got to work with luci's the best he's the best just the best i feel so lucky um well i know you're waiting to find out what happens next the limbo of of this crazy life what feels like and it doesn't have to be about work by the way it can be any any sort of facet of your life right now what feels like your work in progress at the moment

oh my goodness um gosh so many things i mean i guess that's what living is which is so great right it's like a constant work in progress i feel like um i'm you know with regards to work i'm a work in progress because I'm constantly figuring out how to navigate. You know, I've got a TV show that I'm going to be going out with that I've been working to create for a while.

So, like, learning how to pitch and really, like you said, like you're doing, produce. Like, that's a work in progress for me. A work in progress with my marriage right now because Patrick's been, like, shooting on location for the entire year. So figuring out how to fit back, welcome him back in, you know, and make sure that he feels home again. Like, it's such a long time to be away from home.

And then the girls are growing every day. So, like, mothering as a total work in progress, you know, and, like, figuring out how to relate to them and what they need and what they want and how they're changing and how I'm changing in response to them. And then, you know, like we talked about when we first got on, like the work in progress of how to be. be part of the larger community and now that I just being so grateful that right now as the

shows out as I'm in this limbo waiting to find out I have some time and so it's like how can I be the most helpful you know who can I be checking in on who can I be reaching out to um you know how can I be talking to my kids you know like figuring out that what's the best way to to talk about it um yeah And yeah, so life, life is the answer. Life is my work in progress. Great. Yeah, I feel it. Thank you.