Dreamscapes Podcasts - Dreamscapes Episode 111: Persistence & Priorities

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” ― Maya Angelou https://www.ontheotherside.life/

Greetings friends, welcome back to another episode of Dreamscapes. Today we have our friend Tala Dendi from Rochester, Minnesota. She is a cancer dula, board-certified, independent patient advocate podcaster, speaker, voiceover artist, and cancer survivor. You can find her at On the Otherside.Life. We're going to be right back to her in two seconds. If you would, please like, share, subscribe, tell your friends, always need more volunteer dreamers, viewers for the DreamWisor plays game streams lately. every day at 5 p.m. Trying to get that out there.

15. Currently available works of historical dream literature working on book 16 and concurrent audiobook release. The 15th book is The World of Dreams by Have a Luck, Ellis. You can find all this and more at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, and that is enough about me. Let's get back to our friend Delia. Thank you for being here.

And more importantly, thank you for being here through all the technical difficulties. It took us over an hour to just get to this point. I'm so sorry about that. Thank you so much for having me. And I am so honored to be here, even though, like you said, we had those difficulties. It's a blessing to talk with you. Thank you very much. Yeah. I mean, that's possibly a great place to start. It's like, what do you do with challenges and difficulties? Do you persevere? Is the goal worth it? And very often it is. And, you know, what is, what will people find that on the other side, dot life? What do you say about yourself and your experience? Sure. So on the other side, that life, they can go there and learn more about me and my cancer journey 11 years ago with Hodgkins lymphoma. And essentially how I took, like you said, that tough challenge and turned it around to allow myself to be able to create a career that is more fulfilling. And I'm excited to wake up and take charge and help people out every day as a cancer. or Dula and an independent patient advocate. Very nice, very nice. And a lot of it, yeah, it is that idea of persevering through struggles and difficulty.

Yeah. And I would say, you'd probably agree, you know, more than anything, sometimes just be in there with someone so they're not alone. It's like, this is going to suck, but I'll sit with you. I'll hold your hand, you know. That's right. And, you know, that's what a lot of cancer patients and people impacted by cancer say. is that, you know, it's so beneficial to have someone walk with them through their cancer journey

and essentially having someone to talk to who has been through it before. That makes a huge difference as well. Yeah, definitely. That seems to be a common theme of a lot of the people I'm talking to lately is sharing experiences for a variety of reasons. But number one, to let people know they're not alone. You're not the only one suffering and struggling. other people have been there and done it, come out the other side.

Definitely gives, I'd imagine, you know, from your experience you've had people tell you, it gives them hope, keeps them struggling forward. That's right. A lot of people, you know, they need that hope and encouragement. And, you know, everyone's family, friends, and loved ones have good intentions. But sometimes there's a disconnect if they have not been through it themselves. And so that can still leave the person experience. experiencing cancer feeling alone. And so, you know, really just having that person that you can

connect with, even if it hasn't, you know, they haven't had the same kind of cancer. But just knowing what that experience feels like and the uncertainty, the anxiety, you know, but then also being an example of, hey, this is, you can get through this. Yeah, definitely. And that's a very good thing too. Like there's, it might be one thing if you had a family member who had also been through cancer. And then they would be part of your immediate extended support network and they'd have that specialty knowledge. But it's it's not something that affects everyone. So very often the most well-meaning and deeply loving of people, they just don't have the information they need to tell you what you need to hear to get you through something or to navigate the system, whatever you're dealing with. That's right.

That's right. You know, cancer is not something that is fun. It's not glamorous. Oftentimes people don't want to talk about it. And they don't know how to handle it. There's no manual, you know, written specifically for a cancer diagnosis. And so a lot of times people, they just kind of struggle through it in a sense and learn as they go. But then also their family, friends, loved ones, coworkers, they don't know what

say. So they say weird things sometimes and that could be just uncomfortable for everyone. But I think talking about it can before it happens will make it a little bit easier if it does happen. You know, unfortunately today to know someone who has been touched by cancer in some way. Yeah, it is pretty common. I mean, it went from, I don't know, there's representations of back in the, say, then at 50s and 60s where people would whisper it. They would call it the big C. People didn't talk about it. It was almost very embarrassing to, or people considered it embarrassing. We've come a long way since then where people are not embarrassed as much by it. But do you run into that sometimes, too, where people feel some kind of personal shame like

they're like they did something wrong? Absolutely. I actually experienced that myself. And I've talked to many other people who feel embarrassed and they're like, well, what did I do wrong? You know, was I not eating good enough? Was I not exercising good enough? And it wasn't after I got through that period of my life, say maybe about three years after treatment is when I actually started feeling comfortable talking about it because I realized how much I learned and how what I I learned could help other people. Yeah, for sure. And that's, that's very often one of the, one of the best ways I think people get through

some of these experiences, uh, or make sense of them afterwards. What am I trying to say? You turn, you turn a, like a disaster into a strength in a way. You turn trauma into triumph by sharing your story and helping other people who are going through the same thing. I've, that seems to be a very consistent theme. And a lot of folks I'm talking to as well. was, well, and I think broadly speaking, that matches with the philosophical and psychological

library of, this is kind of how it works, since one of the best ways to heal yourself personally after such an experience. That's right. That's right. For me, it was like, I went through this. I'm sure there's a reason behind it. And for me, that was really important. understanding that reason, the reasons with an S. And, you know, one of those was to be able to reach

back and help other people. That was definitely one of those reasons. Yeah. And that's beautiful, too. So, I mean, if anyone's out there listening and you've gone through stuff and it still bothers you, see if you can turn that trauma into a triumph. See if you can do something, like, There's a magic in doing something about a problem using even negative emotions sometimes to inspire positive action. So if you're out there listening to this, definitely you can go to On the Other Side. Dot Life and connect with Talaya. And maybe do you have people reach out like that? I mean, I don't want to, if that's not what you do, I don't want to encourage it.

But I imagine you do. Absolutely. people can reach out. Actually, there is a place on my website where they can schedule a free 30-minute meeting greet. And that is where, you know, I would learn a little bit about them. And then, of course, share a little bit about me. And if I can help them, I let them know how. If I feel like it's not a good fit or they feel like it's not a good fit, I will try to, you know, find someone else who can support them. That is a big deal too. There's, uh, even, even say in the realm, broader realm of finding a private professional counselor, just to talk to about depression or any of your problems in your life. Sometimes people find one and they don't like their personality, don't like the way they speak,

don't like the way they think. It's a mismatch. And honestly, neither the patient nor the therapist is to blame in that regard. Different styles, different folks, different personalities and they can clash. Sometimes just the way you speak,

I get annoyed involuntarily. And it ain't, So I'm out of here. But and then some folks look at that like, oh, therapists are crap. I tried to see one like, uh, maybe try a different one. But I love the idea that, you know, if your style doesn't, it doesn't resonate, doesn't click with someone, the way you approach it, the way you speak, your personality, nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with them.

You find someone else and that's, that's a wonderful, loving thing that you do. You don't just say, well, good luck. You're like, let me, let me try and find someone else. That's, that's beautiful. Yeah, thank you so much. And, you know, again, it goes back to not leaving people hanging and feeling like they're alone because if I don't work for them or they don't work for me, it's not like, hey, you're just a bad person. I don't want to work with you. It's like, hey, it's not a good fit. But let me see if I can take this further and help you find the right person. And then maybe they'll think I'm, you know, or they'll think we're a good fit for something else. Or they may just feel comfortable. sending me an email and saying, hey, can you, you know, answer this question for me. It could just be a one-off kind of thing. So I just think that making sure people get what they need, that's at the core.

That's what it's about. For sure. And a lot of it is, I think people sometimes, they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but they also lack the language to advocate for themselves in a way that is more neutral. So they might say, you could say this. I'm sorry, I don't like you. Nope, not many people are going to say it like that because that seems rude and it's, it's the wrong message.

Actually, it's like, I think I'd work better with someone else. You could say it that way. Or you could say, I might feel more comfortable if you could refer me to a colleague. No offense. Just any way to kind of make it, give people the tools they need to speak up for themselves in a way that's like you're not aggressive, you're not being, you know, mean on purpose. but you have needs and very often when there is a mismatch, it's nobody's fault. And you're just like, hey, thank you.

You're a wonderful person. I'd like to work with someone else. Can we do that? Or do you have any other folks you know that I might be able to speak with, that kind of a thing? Yeah. And you know, you're right, Benjamin. It's like it's something that even I had to learn, you know, before. And when I say reasons with an S, there were so many things.

things that I learned through that horrible experience. And one of those was speaking up for myself. Definitely. That can be a very difficult thing. Sometimes we're not sure, we're not sure what we feel. We can't put a label on it, so we're not sure what it is. We don't know, we haven't come to a decision precisely what we want to do about something. We don't know how to tell someone else what we need in that regard, you know, what's the outcome you're looking for. Sometimes just having someone to talk through a process out loud and be completely wrong about all kinds of things. Say it wrong. Say the describe your feelings inaccurately.

Like sometimes you've got to really think out loud and it can help to have someone else say, you know, be a sounding board in a way to give feedback, but also just another physical person present for you to direct those words at so you can overcome that barrier of saying, saying things in general. your mind to another person. It helps a lot to have someone who is non-judgmental in that regard. Like, I don't think people, everyone needs a professional therapist. I think everyone needs a friend. They can say, let me tell you what I'm thinking. And you tell me how that makes you feel. Let me practice my words. Let me rehearse. Basically, sometimes we got to like, like we're going to

go on stage and give a performance in some ways. I talk to him. I'm sure you might have some comments. Yeah. You know, Benjamin, that is a great point. because there is a therapist that I know she wasn't someone that I actually worked with. I would love to, you know, in the future. But she said, people just need to say the thing. Yeah. She was just like, just quit trying to wrap it up so pretty. Just say the thing.

I was like, you know, that's true. And she said, that's how, you know, I get rid of a lot of stress and anxiety. I don't worry about it. She said because the people that know me, they know. I'm just going to say that thing. But for people that don't know me, if they take it the wrong way, if they're in a place where they're willing to heal and they've been offended by what I said, they should come to me and say, hey, I was a little turned off by that.

What did you mean by that? And then that can kind of start that two-way dialogue as well. but the person who's on the receiving end, they have to be in a place where they can, they can do that, of course. That too. Yeah, definitely. If you get two people who are both uncertain and struggling in their own ways and they're trying to communicate, oh, there's so many ways that can go wrong.

I think we all do need to be a little more forgiving of each other of like, hey, maybe you didn't mean it this way, but that kind of hurt my feelings. Hey, maybe you did mean it that way because you thought I hurt your feelings first. and well, maybe I need to be offering an apology for that. And maybe we try again. There's a lot of, yeah, just good communication. I think I've said this before, but I can't remember. So I'll say it one more time.

There's like basically four parts to communication as if you diagram it out. The idea of what's in my mind, the concept I have that I'm trying to communicate, the words that I choose to try to express it. And that's kind of part two. Then it goes through the air and hits your ear drum. and there's what you hear, which may be my exact words, but may not be the exact, may not be the exact words, but also may not be, you also hear the tone

and you also hear the phrasing or the hesitation or the, it's all kinds of stuff. Then there's that encoding process where now it goes in reverse from the ear up into the brain and there's how you understand what I said. So there's a minimum four opportunities for everything to go horribly wrong. I'm amazed we can communicate with each other at all. Right. And you know, Benjamin, you take someone like me who's an empath where, like you said, the tone and the body language, those speak louder to me for me and to me than what they're saying. So you're absolutely right. Yeah, that's a big deal. And you know, it's funny. So I am probably your polar opposite in some ways. I'm on the autistic spectrum. Yeah. So my, a big deal. A big deal. I'm a big.

to perceive and the emotional resonance I have with others is severely muted. So I've had people who were speaking to me in a way that others perceived as aggressive. I'm just listening to the content. Like, you're making a good point there. You know, you're right. I was wrong about that. And I see now the logic and the other person are like, you just going to let them yell at you like that. And I'm like, I didn't even, I didn't even see anger. I just didn't. I just didn't. I was like, You're just making a good point, man, and you're very passionate. I like that. You know, my studies, Benjamin, I've learned that a lot of that goes back to childhood experiences as well

and how your family and your parents may have communicated with you. You know, if there was a lot of yelling in the home, then you, someone might be more sensitive to that. So there's so many different dynamics. For sure. Yeah. And being, yeah, just being kind to each other. I think in trying to get people the benefit of the doubt sometimes and open to new experiences and new ideas. It's a great way to go.

And me and, you know, definitely. And I'm going to keep saying this too because I want people out there to know they got someone they can reach out to on the other side. Dot life. If you're having these issues with cancer, you've got a new diagnosis. You're somewhere stuck in the process. You don't know how to talk to your family. Reach out to, Talea. I mean, just from our brief conversation today.

and her, you know, persistence and kindness. I can tell she's a good person you want to talk to. Thank you. Yeah. That's my endorsement. Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah, for sure. Well, I know we are both a little short on time today.

I've got to get you out of here and I've got a pending appointment. So I don't usually rush into the dream part of things, but I want to leave plenty of time to get you a good answer and to get us both where we need to be. So if you're ready, we'll jump into that. Benjamin the Dream Wizard wants to help you pierce the veil of night and shine the light of understanding upon the mystery of dreams. Every episode of his DREAMs program features real dreamers gifted with rare insight into their nocturnal visions. New DREAMscape's episodes appear every week on YouTube, Rumble, Odyssey, and other video hosting platforms, as well as free audiobooks, highlighting the psychological principles which inform our dream.

experience and much, much more. To join the Wizard as a guest, reach out across more than a dozen social media platforms, and through the contact page at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, where you will also find the Wizard's growing catalog of historical dream literature, available on Amazon, featuring the wisdom and wonder of exploration into the world of dreams over the past 2,000 years. That's Benjamin the Dream Wizard on YouTube and at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com. Yes, sir, I'm ready. All right.

So, Benjamin, I mentioned throughout our talk so far reasons as to why I may have had to experience cancer or what I was supposed to get out of it. I'll put it that way. And one of the reasons I sincerely believe and pretty much have received confirmation is that I needed a career change. Okay. So went to college, got a degree in science and math, went into supply chain, became a supply chain analyst, worked closely with engineers and things like that. High stress job, a lot of moving parts, but it required a lot of organization and patients and coordination, all of those things. prior to being diagnosed with cancer was very stressed out from work really felt like

it wasn't the thing I wanted to do anymore but in a sense was hesitant and afraid to make that change because number one very great income number two I had no idea what else I wanted to do and so much uncertainty in itself wrapped up in that I knew that I was supposed supposed to be doing something helping people. I knew that when I went into that corporate space, it was like my whole soul was just being held captive. I felt like I couldn't be who I am. I was looked at differently. I had to put on this perfect persona. All of these things that were just totally against who I am. So fast forward to cancer. And once I went through cancer, and, you know, got through treatment and all of that, there was this nagging sensation,

this voice. And really, now that I want to take that word nagging out, it was this powerful, encouraging voice saying, hey, you survive this thing. Now focus on what you really want to do. You know, take, of course, better care of yourself, less stress, more sleep, all of those things. But then in addition to that, there was this whole career piece or work piece. What I was doing wasn't fulfilling. So I made that leap at the end of 2018. I was working for this aerospace company. I won't say their name.

And really just a very negative environment, surrounded by people in my group who had worked there over 30-some years. I knew I was the newer person. I had been in that role maybe about a year and a half. In that year and a half, it was so stressful. Wasn't getting the proper training, poor communication, just very negative. So I decided to make my exit, which I did. The dream that I had, Benjamin, this past summer, was, the woman who was supposed to be mentoring me, she came into my dream and said,

you will never take any money once you leave this company. And being my, you know, an entrepreneur and a small business owner, I literally sat up in my bed in the middle of the night. And I, it was very, chromatic in a sense because I'm only, you know, maybe about three, four years into doing my business full time. Of course, the type of business that I have, it's tough. You know, a lot of people

can't afford to pay for my services in addition to their other health care needs, especially when they're going through cancer. So there's a lot of, you know, looking for funding. There's a lot of, hey, I'll work with you on a sliding scale kind of thing. And a lot of times I really have to reevaluate and say, hey, I let this go. Or, hey, you know, can I do this in addition to something else? But that was my dream. This woman who essentially was blocking my growth in this organization

showed up. And I felt like she's trying to block me, still. And in my mind, all of this is because I stood up for myself. I said, hey, this is not working for me anymore. I did what was best for me. And I made this dramatic change that affected once again my entire life like cancer did. But the fact that I've never felt like giving up is what gives me hope and talking to people and having them say, you know, you help me in this way, that those are the things that keeps me going. And I've been blessed, you know, even though at times it's tough financially, I've been blessed to not have been without food, to not have utility

shut off that thing, that kind of thing. So it just really shook me to my core like, hey, is this a sign that I need to stop? So that's my dream. Okay. That is lots of great, great questions. Let me just do a timestamp here. Excuse me. Still getting over being sick.

This will go up like two or three weeks from now. So hopefully by then I'm actually feeling better. Okay. So, yeah, so many fascinating ways to go with that. And working backwards in some ways from the most recent thing, you said, there is a grand tradition of understanding dreams as messages from what different people at different times, different cultures have different understandings. The most common belief for almost the full past 2,000 years until modern days was message from God or the gods in some way.

going back to, you know, was it Zeus and Athena sending dreams in the Odyssey and the Iliad? And but, you know, and so in my metaphorical concept, working from the purely scientific with an open mind to the mystical, it is not wrong or bad in my estimation to think of dreams as messages from some higher power. now that at higher power might be your superiorly perceptive subconscious in a way. And maybe that's how God puts a message in your brain, if that's your belief system. Or you're just, or on the, like, as I say, on the purely scientific side, there is, we perceive much and process much more than we're consciously aware of. So dreams that come to us to show us these things are like, here's what you've been thinking about.

here's a question that hasn't come into your mind yet. You need to take a look at because you're going to understand something necessary out of that process. Okay, all of that to say, you know, so why this woman? And so there's a variety of ways to look at that of like, you needed to hear this person say that whether they were correct or not, or you were putting a message to yourself in the mouth of someone that it was easier to hear it from.

You're not going to make as much money doing what you're doing. And now as you would in the other job, you are making a sacrifice. And you put it in the mouth of someone who was, what am I trying to say? You would expect them to say something harsh, even if it was true. They weren't going to hold it back. So it was easier to hear it from them. Then you could actually kind of say, well, I don't like you anyway, even if it's true. You didn't put it in the mouth of, say, a relative who you would have been like, you know,

aren't you supposed to encourage me and support me? You're telling me this is all going to fail or I'm going to be broke or whatever. That'd be harder to hear from them. That's my initial impression, just hearing that. There may be more to the dream in terms of you've given a very thumbnail sketch perfectly fine. That's how we do. We can go through it again and try and get a little more details about the setting you were in as it was happening. What's the first thing you remember in terms of where you were in the dream, this particular dream?

We were actually in that organization. And where all of us sat was kind of like in a corner of the office. And I see it vividly the way everything looked. And where I set was behind this person. And so right off to the left-hand side is like an hour. aisle. And so we were standing in the aisle. And after I had spoke with my manager and informed this person that I would be leaving the organization, she must have made a beeline to this coworker. And so later that day, the coworker made that statement to me. And of course, her tone was harsh and critical.

that was typical. And then that started a flurry of other people coming up. Oh, you know how they do. Oh, you're leaving. Oh, you know, that kind of thing. And so that was the setting. Okay. Okay.

So very interesting. So you're, maybe if I can get an idea of the timeline a little bit for, this was actually a job you'd had before you got cancer and you actually left, before you got cancer or this was a job you left. Go ahead. Yeah, it was a job I left after I had cancer. And so I had changed jobs after cancer. And then I ended up at this organization.

This organization was the last corporate job that I had. Okay. So this was after cancer. Yeah. So you had worked, let's say job A. Yes. You had cancer during working at job A. Then you recovered and you left.

You got job. B and you were doing job B at the same time you were doing the cancer advocacy? After. So I did the cancer advocacy after. Leaving job B. Yeah, leaving job B. And so what I will know, Benjamin, is that I had started working towards figuring something out.

I didn't know what that would be. So while at the, while I was. would say maybe six months before I left job B, I had started taking a course, a coaching certification course. So that was before I had even decided that I was going to leave this place. But I knew something had to change. So I said, well, let me start with getting a certification and coaching. Maybe once I complete that, I can kind of figure out what to do with this, how this will look. And so I left Organization B at the end of 2018. 2019 is when I went full-fledged into what I'm doing now as a cancer doula and patient advocate.

And then where in that kind of real-life timeline did the dream pop up? The dream popped up this past summer. That's that you did say that. That's right. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So we've got the kind of real life timeline.

This is a retrospective dream in a way versus a predictive dream in that sense. The not official categories just kind of sorting it out in my head. Maybe they will become official categories once I figure out how the hell I do what I do. What I do. I mean, just talk about me for two seconds. I also have experienced the job change in the last, you know, two years ago I decided to become a dream wizard. I'd make less money than I did before. This is all life.

This is my literally my experience. But on that note, what am I trying to do to get by writing books and publishing them? I want to do, you know, a wizard's guide to dream interpretation. And it'll be, this is my method. This is what I do. Someday, I'm working on that. When I understand what I do and I have the language to describe it. Excuse me.

But that's taking the focus off you. Sorry. So a retrospective dream in a way of looking back at your choices and decisions. And the setting of this dream was job B. Yes, job B. Yeah. So you were very much in my estimation or what it feels like to me is looking at, should I have done that? Did I just shoot myself in the foot?

Is this is this harsh co-worker who was, as you were saying, kind of standing in the way of of not properly training me, not giving me a like, this person didn't care. And they didn't care that they didn't care. So you put in their mouth this, I would say, very realistic fear of your own of like, did I make a mistake? Or as I was saying originally, alternately, I need to confront the reality that I'm probably going to make less money doing this. but then confronting that reality, I would say, gives you the chance to say, am I okay with that?

So I make less money. So be it. Is this what I'm happier doing? Is this where I feel my calling is? I don't know if you woke up from this dream with a sense of how to understand it yourself. I don't usually jump right to that at this point in the process, but you might have. You might have gotten a feeling of like, I'm okay with this or, no, I think I did make a mistake or something that lingered. You know, initially when I woke up like my heart was racing.

Oh, yeah. Once I calmed down, I came up with a couple of different things. The first one was, that's nonsense because I wake up happy every day. Yeah. I don't dread going to that place anymore. So that was one thing that I got from it. The other thing was, is this a fear that I have to overcome to have the people? to have the peace of mind and joy of doing what I love every day.

Do I really have to give this nice salary up? And I think for me, Benjamin, it's never been a question of, did I make a mistake? Because I feel like, no, I did not. Just because of how I feel, let's just take all the materialistic stuff out of it. I feel like I contributed to my healing by leaving. the corporate space. Now, the other part of it is when you're accustomed to a certain level of money, and of course, I see money as a tool. It doesn't, you know, some people have more than others, but it's a tool to kind of create, in a sense, the life that you want, and get some of the things that you want.

And so it really opened my eyes to the sacrifices that I've made. And so then that brought in the thought that, hey, stick with this a little bit longer, work out just fine. And I've always heard people say, you know, give up. You're so close to the finish line. Then after that dream, Benjamin, it was like I just kept coming across all these stories of people who had been working towards their career, whatever that was, for 20, 15, 20 years before they finally got to that level financially, awareness-wise, and they just consistently showed up. And so there's so many different things that I actually got out of that dream. Nice. You've had some good awareness of a good recollection of the experience so you could examine the elements.

You've already kind of done a lot of this dream analysis portion yourself. And it seems like, you know, you needed to start yourself like, okay, imagine I'm back in this old job. And what are we doing? We're having another meeting. And what's happening? I'm not at the table. I'm in the hallway. And not only that, I'm behind someone else.

All of these things are saying, why am I even here? What is even going on here? What do we even do? What's my contribution? Where's my value in this space? All of that, just from that initial placing of yourself in relation to all these other people. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

And then to in the dream, have yourself walk through that process of, here's what I did. I looked at my situation. I went and I told. the manager and for some reason the manager told the co-worker and then the co-worker comes to you and and yeah tells you did that happen uh was there uh like in this space was there gossipy backstabbing is that kind of yes yes benjamin and there you mind you the manager and coworker probably had worked at this place for about the same amount of time for a long number of years. So yeah, and not the best environment. Yeah, I'm getting all of that. I mean,

if I had to say, what was this job like from your, from your dream description like this is not as a nightmare. It's terrible. Yeah. And so, yeah, you needed this. It all came to a head in your mind. It seems like at this time you're looking at, did I make a mistake? And we, we do that all the time with things. Should I have turned left at the light? Would I not be stuck in traffic now? We all second guess ourselves. And sometimes that's good. That analysis of choices. Did this turn out the way I wanted it to?

Is there anything I could have done differently to make it better? It sounds like at the very least you're looking at it going, I had to get the hell out of here no matter what happened. This was not going to be a good environment. But at the same moment, you said there are consequences to that choice. You know, you're in a relationship with someone. It's not working. leaving may be the correct choice for both of you. You still have to disentangle your lives.

There's still the emotional heartache of the ending of a relationship. There's going to be positive and negative consequences to everything. And the one you looked at is like, I might make less money, but I'm not trapped in hell with these people anymore. And you woke up from it. You were saying focused on that question of did I make a mistake? And you said, no, I needed to go. I needed to go and you showed yourself, I would say very clearly why this was not the right place for you. And then that second question of confronting the reality of the second part of the consequence,

you're giving up something. You're giving up the financial end of things. And I think, you know, this would be rambling too, but just to comment on your question is like, I don't have a very materialistic side either. I'm not looking for, you know, having a dozen luxury sports cars or extra rooms. And I live in my garage, you know, with some. cats. This is a very simple life. But we all need to pay the bills. We have to keep a roof over our head, keep the heat on in the winter, put some food on the table, you know, do something

fun once in a while. If you can find a way to say, you know, what I've got is enough because the other things I've got make all the difference. It sounds like kind of, that's where this dream was leading you in your thought process. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. I think it was really, you know, sometimes we, things may not be going the best and it's like, like you said, gosh, you know, maybe I should have done this instead of that. Or again, no doubt in my mind that that I should have left. No, no question there. And, you know, I plan for it financially, all of those things. And I think, too, it's like you look around you and maybe people that share the same space as you,

they're making this thing work. They're like doing huge things with whatever it is. And it's like, okay, am I doing something wrong? So I guess it's kind of like part of that comparison piece too. But then coming back to the realization that I feel like I essentially saved my life and prevented another health crisis by leaving that place. So I feel like that's something I had to do for my physical health, emotional health, and mental health. And this is the price that I have to pay at this time. It doesn't mean it's always going to be like this.

For sure. But then coming from that entrepreneurial lens, no entrepreneur has ever had their business that I know. It may have happened for some people, but make a ton of money in three to four years. Maybe somewhere someone has, but most people I talk to, it takes time. So really, in a sense, I need to be patient with myself. to was something else that I got out of it. It was like, hey, this person has no merit in your life. What they're saying, you know, isn't true. They don't have any control over anything that you're doing. But prove them wrong. Don't give up. Prove them wrong. So so many different thoughts.

And I, like I Gerald about it, I have like 15 pages. On this specific dream? Or just journaling on your experience in general. The dream. On a dream. That is another great thing. I mean, you know, hopefully someday I will have too many people who want to talk to me.

I can't do this for everybody. But writing down your dream, getting it literally out of your head onto paper in the physical world, there's something about that process. You see, that's what I do. I take someone else's dream and I put it out of their head through mine in a way onto paper so that I can see the elements.

And then they start connecting. And I think we can do that to journaling is fantastic and just roll with it. I thought this. I saw that. And here's how I feel about it. And here's how I feel about how I feel about it. And here's what I think I might. Maybe I might want to do.

What if this might work? And we started exploring all these different options. Yeah, just going through that process of writing it out hugely beneficial. I think you got a lot of benefit out of it before you even got to me here. And I was, I think probably the best thing I was able to do was. to reflect back to you that give you a second opinion on your own diagnosis of the dream itself and reinforce what you were pretty certain was the understanding. So if I could just be that second voice to say, I agree. I think you got it. Very helpful. Very helpful. It can be just someone

to give you a piece of their mind and say you're not off base. That can be tremendously helpful. I look for that to other, as you were saying, other professionals building businesses. I keep reassuring myself, you know, it can take 10 years to become an overnight success. So I'm on track. So true, so true. One question kind of popped into my mind. And when you've been through, and this is typical for a lot of people in the corporate space, they've in a sense face some trauma in that corporate world. Yeah. It could be hard for, you know, people to move past that in a sense.

You know, I've talked to people. I have people in my network who the thought of going back and working for someone else terrifies them. How do you think that this dream could be related to that? in some way, like a form of trauma or something like that? Or am I just taking it too deep when I think about it that way too? I think it is. Trauma is an interesting thing in general, but also in how people understand it. And there's a variety of levels of trauma.

You know, the idea of smashing your finger with a hammer, you get a little bit of a bruise. God, that hurt. but then there's automobile wreck trauma trauma surgery time trauma so there's and that's the same thing true with our with our psychology there's these varying degrees and different people respond to the same situation in different ways they have different tolerance for levels of trauma you get me the guy that sounded like he was angry and yelling at me and I'm like you're making a good point I'm not even feeling an aggression that another person was observing from the outside so that's just an example. I think it can be very traumatic working in a bad work environment because you want to succeed.

You want to do well. You want mentors. You want to be involved in the process. You want to feel like you're contributing something useful. And there's, if you had, say, a constellation of 10 or 12 different things you would hope to go well in that environment. And 12 out of 12 of them or just go to shit. It's like, this is horrible. And you keep struggling and struggling to make it work. And maybe you do eventually. Some people adapt and overcome and it's worth it to them to stay and try and figure it out. And then some places are so bad. It's like, I can see this is never going to get better. I got to just get the hell up. Pull the rip cord while I still can't before the plane crashes, jump out with the parachute. Yeah. So, no, no, I think the more personally,

what am I trying to say? I guess personally isn't the right word, but like uniquely traumatic, a specific type of experience is to you, the more necessary it's going to be to process it and get something out of it, get an understanding of what happened there. Did I make the right choice?

Did I screw up? If I had just changed my approach, could I have been successful? And you're looking at this like, I think from this dream's perspective is saying, nah, I question myself appropriately as we ought to.

second guess sometimes or at least analyze our choices. That place was a mess and I got out with very little damage considering I could have been there for 10 years and just miserable and who wants to live that way for the money even. I don't know if that addresses your question. I hope it does. Oh, that's a great point because for a long time I looked at myself like, well, what am I doing wrong? You know, am I making these people feel a certain way for them?

to treat me this way, so many questions. And what really validated what I was feeling was when the health, we had a health coach there. And I, you know, just shared with her. And she's like, Talaya, you are worth more than staying someplace where they obviously don't want you or appreciate you. Yeah. And that was like, boom. That was all I need. That is a big deal. Yeah. And I get that too from the imagery in your dream and from discussing with you about that and from just feeling your, feeling your energy in a way of like, I can't imagine anyone in any environment looking at you like someone who couldn't be of some value and wasn't a generally good person and wouldn't be willing to, you know, step up and pitch in

and do what needs to get done, your team player style. And to have your, you know, obvious talents, I'd say, you know, rejected and treat it so harshly. It's, you know, it's natural to question yourself and your choices, but it's also very healthy to say, you know, based on who I am and the feedback I get from the people who know me, this was the right decision. This was necessary for me not to inflict more trauma on my self, you know, when it wasn't, when you don't have to. So. That's true. Thank you so much. It's helpful. You're welcome. We're coming up on the, on the time limit here. But, and I never know how these are going to go. I ask folks, don't tell me anything about the dream. So I have no idea where people are going to say I take it as it comes.

That's usually better for me because I will overthink something. And then I will start thinking about my thoughts about the thoughts I had about my thoughts. And by the time I get to it, it's not your dream anymore. It's not, I'm not listening. I'm hearing myself talk. So I try not to know. And then I get thrown curveballs. People are like, I'm pretty sure I know what this dream means. Let's talk about it. I'll do that. You don't have to be completely clueless. You can come with your own ideas and we'll discuss it and make it make sense. So, but let me do this uh once again i'm rambling uh wrapping things up at the end this has been our friend tela dendie from rochester minnesota a cancer dula board certified independent

patient advocate podcaster speaker voiceover artist cancer survivor you can find her at on the other side dot life that's your website and i'll just say uh uh Thalia thank you for being here i really appreciate your time thank you so much for having me here I enjoy talking with you, very helpful. And thank you for what you do. This is very interesting and very helpful. Thank you. Very cool.

That, if I can make a little bit of my, if I can keep the lights on and a roof over my head and help people, I'm loving, I'm loving my life. Speaking of which, hey, would you kindly like, share, subscribe, tell your friends, always need more volunteer dreamers,

more viewers. 15 currently available works of historical dream literature, the most recent, The World of Dreams by Havelock Ellis from 1911, a beautifully updated, and highly footnoted, I would say, the definitive version of that book. There's others out there, but buying my product. Thank you for your support.

Also, you get, hey, look at this. I got a T-shirt. I put them on once in a while to remind people that are out there. Coffee mug. You can find all this and more links at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com. I think that's it. I rambled long enough. I'm just going to say, again, thanks for me here.

It was good talking to you, too. And to everybody out there, thanks for listening.