Dreamscapes Podcasts - Dreamscapes Episode 144: Geshem Adam

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

“He will rain down fire and brimstone on the wicked and scorch them with his burning wind.” - Psalm 11:6

Greetings friends and welcome back to another episode of Dreamscapes. Today we have our friend Yonina from Illinois. She's one of my Twitter mutuals. Hey, you can reach out to me across all kinds of social media and just say hello. I will literally talk to anyone. I am not overbooked yet. Get in while you still can, of course, before it become really popular, hopefully someday. Would you kindly like, share, subscribe, tell your friends, always need more volunteer

dreamers at this point. Viewers for the game streams, I've got 16 currently available works of historical dream literature, the most recent dreams in their meanings by Horace G. Hutchinson working on book 17. All this and more at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com where you can get a full list of all the books, downloadable MP3 versions of this podcast. And if you would head on over to Benjamin the Dreamwizard.com, that's where I'm trying to build a community and where I would prefer to receive any sustaining donations, should you be so kind. also where I've been posting the secret recipe for the

themed beverage for my game streams. Each new game I play, I come up with a new cocktail and put the recipe out there so you guys can drink along with the wizard because I like video gaming and drinking at the same time. I think it makes me more entertaining. Lose my cool sometimes. I yell at the game. Anyway, that's enough shilling.

That's enough about me. Let's get back to our guest. Yona, thank you for being here. Thank you, Ben. I'm so happy to be here with you finally after like standing you up for the last, what, six months. Oh. Well, I appreciate that. You know what it is too?

Is like I am so, I've got such a Zen mindset with a lot of things. Things happen in their own time. And maybe what I found in my life is sometimes like if I think I'm ready for something and I really, really wanted to happen and the stars have not aligned. The circumstances are not correct. It's not going to happen no matter what. So, so frustrating myself, as the dog gets comfortable, frustrating myself by trying to force something to happen before it's time, I've just almost entirely given up on that.

I'm like, it will happen when it does. And that doesn't mean you give up trying or you give up being ready for the opportunity. But so when it goes with this kind of thing, and it fits with my philosophy on dreams. It dreams happen in their own time. Mostly, for the most part, for most of us, you can't force a dream to happen on a given subject. Some people can. There's different methods recommended. but usually we want to leave that undirected because there's something in our subconscious

that will tell us what is the most important thing we maybe need to focus on at a given time. And it's almost better that that's undirected, in my opinion, you know, dreams kind of select themselves. So no worries. If it takes us six months to get in touch with each other and to finally make this happen, I'm not stressed out or resentful or anything, not at all. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we were, you know, I've been one to come on,

But I just, I didn't feel like it was time, you know. I just didn't feel like, you know, like, you know, I didn't feel as focused as, you know, to be talking about, like, you know, these different topics and whatnot. And I felt like when it was, when it would be time, that's when this would be the catalyst to me going into, deeper into my spiritual work and the things that I need to do in my spiritual journey. So, yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

And life, life is like that a lot. I think that fits with the philosophy I was describing. It's like if it's if it's not the right time, if there's other more important things to focus on, get that done. Get that stuff done, taking care of, get yourself to the right mental space where,

yeah, you can do this kind of thing. Because you don't have a ton of other unresolved stuff on your plate that you really should be focusing on that first. Definitely. So I don't mind waiting around. What's the worst that can happen? I think the longest stretch I had was two or three weeks

where I didn't have any interviews. And then finally I was able to get one up. Okay. So be it. I mean, I'd like a more consistent. and release schedule, but it's not, it's not a disaster. I'll just do something else.

So I always try to have a few projects going on. Like, if I don't have videos to edit, I'm working on a book or I'm doing something else. You know, I got a lot of projects around the house. I should probably get around to as well. I got to change the, what is it, the air filter on my HVAC system. It's, you know, once every six, six months or so. Oh, yeah, get that done. I should probably do it every three months, but I got it's been lazy.

I haven't done it. I should do it today. Let's make that promise. Quality air, equality air is good. It's a big deal. It's a catalyst to quality health. Yeah, it's a big deal.

I think so. And especially, you know, with the whole epidemic thing going on. You know, we kind of found that out from, you know, even though I kind of knew that before because I live in the building where, you know, I, um, we have a filter system. And, uh, so, yeah. So, and I asked about, well, do you, are, you know, has this? I've been living here 10 years and the HVAC system hasn't been clean in the 10 years that I've lived here.

And when I asked at the tenant council meeting, I was told, oh, it's an outlet. It's an outtake valve type of day. And I'm like, that doesn't mean it doesn't need to be going to. You know? Yeah. But yeah. For sure. No, air quality.

It's a big deal. A lot of people don't realize how much that can make them sick if you're not breathing healthy air. speaking of health in general i think most people might see a little dark spot on my head here i told you off off the air but i wanted to mention it too um i i did that thing so just for the for the benefit of the audience out there i did that thing where you go to take a drink and it goes down the wrong pipe and i got a lot of it in there so i'm leaning over in my chair i'm sitting outside and i'm trying to help have gravity help me get it out and uh and coughing and oh it's miserable and

I woke up on the ground with my head having smashed into the, so I was leaning forward in my chair and I just kind of fell out of the chair forward, passed out for like three seconds in the middle of this coughing spasm fit. Anyway, I'm fine and everything's okay, but yeah, I got a little scrape on my forehead there literally going face first into the asphalt. That was terrible. At least I didn't collapse like standing up full, full on head trauma styles. Like, you know, this far from the ground as I was bending over.

I just biffed it. Not my proudest moment, but, you know, I'm fine. And so I got a little scrape on the forehead. And I'm going to be a little more careful how I swallow. Jesus, it's water down the wrong. I mean, everybody gets that water down the wrong pipe thing. This was a bad episode of it. But anyway, that's the explanation.

The thing about your epiglottis is it, the older you get, the more relaxes. It's the little black there separates. So, yeah, you definitely have to be careful, the older you get, because you can, you know, that you get something stuck in your airway, and you didn't know that you went to swallow and it opened up for you to breathe. Yeah.

Yeah, and I found that even turning my head changes, changes how the throat is shaped, and that can cause the seal to go wonky too. So I try and. That's why when you see in like anatomy pictures, like I got my anatomy and physiology book around here somewhere, But when you see the picture and you see the head turned, because it opens up when you turn your head. It opens up to show the two different sides of your epiglottis that goes down into your gastric system and your bronchia, the one that goes into your bronchial tools, into your breathing system.

So, yeah, that's why they tell you to turn your head and cough because it forces. Open that up, yeah. it's isn't it crazy that we we evolved there or however it happened that we've got like one breathing eating hole at the in the same place and we got to be careful not to get it down the wrong way it almost almost makes me jealous of you know the the creatures that have the what is it the whales and dolphins that I've got the breathing hole in the top of their head yeah yeah get it far away from where I'm stuffing stuffing food in that might cause me to choke but right anyway what we're going to do it's just it blows me away sometimes like wow

biology yeah it's crazy well one thing i did want and and and i um i stopped you right before you told me because i'm like this is great let's get this on on videos you were going to explain to me the uh what was that the hebrew origin of your name yeah yeah yeah so um my family are black hebrew israelite um we uh my mother went over to first she was part of the back back to africa movement her birthday is 9-11 by the way wow And it's a lot of people with significant birthdays in my family, some of which I didn't even know until I looked it up. Like, I got a brother that is, his birthday is under, I think it's what, June 6th or something like that. And that's one of the Russian leaders named Pushkin.

And he happened to be like half black or something like that way back in like the 1800s or something. And then there's my brother, Donamy. His birthday is December 18th. That's Stalin's birthday. And I didn't know that. Then my oldest brother, his birthday, is on the Hitler's birthday, 420, but he's sadly passed away. Condolus.

He didn't even, you know, that. And that's a whole story there. And so, and then my birthday is, is the day after the original Friday the 13th, which happened in October, where they went and picked up the Masons and they took them in for interrogation back in like, what was it, 1555 or something like that?

I don't remember the year, but I remember, you know, the time, the day it happened was Friday at 13th, and then the next day was my birthday of October the 14th, which is happening again. It's the Friday of 13. I know we got one this month, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then the day after is my birthday,

and it's also the annual solar year. Wow. We were talking about the stars aligning earlier. That's happening for you this year. Yeah. That's kind of amazing. Back to my name. Yeah, yeah.

Back to my name. We get back into that a little later. We'll take all kinds of tangents and come back. It's fine with me. Yeah, let's talk about So my mom went to At age 12, she was part of the Baptist Africa movement

She went to live in Monrovia, Liberia And went through all types of hardships Because of his man named Benamy Who felt that he should be the leader of the movement And not all the families combined Into a central government type of deal Which was

My mother's son was the center So from that issue, they had to run back to America because he tried to kill her there after they took all the supplies and everything in Monorobia, Liberia. And then my mother came back. She was 12 at that time. And then she came back and they stayed here for five years until she was like 17. And by the time she had a one-year-old son, her oldest son, and then she was pregnant with another baby. me. And then they went back, they went over to Israel. And so when she said, she said when she was living in Israel, she said all the mothers would call their daughters. And she said, you can hear them,

you know, from all over, you know, Israel where she was living in the crater. Um, and Mitzke, Ms. K. Ramon, uh, it's not a city anymore. They incorporated it into, uh, Jerusalem. But she said, you can hear them say, you're, calling all of them calling their daughters and whatnot. And she said the leader, the one who had

usurp the power from all the, you know, central families, he had called her Yonina. So that basically was her sacred name or holy name, as they say, over there in Israel. So, and then she wound up

having to run from there because well, what had happened was, see, there was this guy there were these three guys and it was like a party party type deal and in the camp you know it was it's supposed to be religious so

then they're supposed to be, they're going by you know the Abramic you know tradition and laws and stuff so there was not not supposed to be any what you call sodomy in the camp or sexual immorality

so but what's his name Yauta and Shavout. Yauta Shavout and somebody else. Not Earl Ray. Earl Ray was Chicago gangsters

because my mom was part of that too. That name sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah. So Elvon. That was his name. Elvon was a gay man that they, or gay young man that they had over there to Israel.

and Chavout and Youda were having relations with this man in the camp and my mom knew about it because she was friends with Elvon

and Elvon felt like it was getting to a point because they were you know threatening him and stuff and they you know they knew that my mom was

you know one of the ones that were privy to the knowledge and stuff So that was the issue But the whole thing that kind of blew it up Was when My mother's two-year-old sister At the time she was two years old

She had like a sucker And they were, you know Her and Benamese daughter, who was also two years old They were fighting over the sucker And so So did one of Benamese Hinchman

or soldiers come. And he's, you're like, you know, you better tell that little girl to give Benemey's daughter the sucker. He's the chosen one, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. And like, she, my mom was like, and now my mom's pregnant. And so she said up here arguing with this man with a girl's got a gun. And her two-year-old sister's face, and she's like, but my two-year-old sister had the sucker first.

Why does my sister have to give up the sucker? to Benamese child just because y'all call him the chosen one. And so from that, my mother, they're arguing in the crater and whatnot. This was in Mitzpay. That's where the crater,

that's where they all lived in Old Jerusalem. And so, my mom said one of her brothers came up because she had four brothers who were younger than her, but they were old enough to run around in like the same pack and whatnot. And I think it was her brother Kenny

Because she said he was the one That was down in the caves and the caverns and whatnot And he would find like these old Army military rations And he and he would find all types of stuff in there Like she said he'd find these uh He would find these uh hot dogs These cans of hot dogs

And he had the lions That were living in the area Coming to him for the hot dogs And sometimes they would show up at her door. Jeez. Yeah, that's a hell of a thing. Yeah. I know, right?

She said she comes to the door and there's lying just in there. Yeah. Hit the door. So he comes up out of the cavern. And he's heard everything. And he comes up and he's got all this dynamite on him. And so he's like, look, you're going to let my sister go. and you're going to put that gun away,

or we all going to blow up here together. Wow. Because he's like wearing the dynamite, he's ready to strike one of them, because it's the old dynamite that you used to have to strike to, in order to activate it. Yeah. And so he was about, you know,

he's ready to strike it on like the wall to get it to activate it, and they all blow up. And so, because, well, you know, you got this man trying to shoot a two-year-old because the two-year-old won't give the sucker to this other two-year-old. Yeah, that's crazy. This other two-year-old is from their chosen family and yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. So they eventually get to, you know, leave.

Everybody leaves. Everybody go home. I'd get the hell out of there. That's not a good situation. Yeah. Right. Well, they didn't go home, home. They went to their home in the crater.

So one night, my mom said she's sleeping and she wake up and she said her mother, which is my grandmother, is moving like, faster than the speed of light. And she's getting like, because, I don't know if you know this, but in Israel, that's one of the first places where they had test tube babies. The vitro, and yeah, that's where they first successfully started having them or completing them to term in the world.

And so my mom was one of the first people to get in vitro fertilization. IDF, which my, that aunt died a few years ago, actually. She was 50 years old, which is, you know, yeah, that's it. Hey, hold on, a cat, that baby. I got all kinds of interruptions from my pets. That's actually what I was, one thing I was going to say is like, I'm following you, my memory's terrible and you telling me a lot of information.

And I think I missed the part where you explain the meaning of your name. And I think one of my cats was doing something over here. And I just lost it in my brain somewhere when you said the translation. Oh, yeah, the translation, it means God's Little Dove. Okay. It's the, and it's the feminine. Okay, so there is, like I said, there's, there's many different. She's shaking, why are you doing?

She's like grabbing my dress and she's shaking it with her little teeth. What are you doing, right? Little rascal, she wants to play. Yeah. I got her a whole thing of, Catnip. Meanwhile, I got mine and they want to sit right on top of my notes. Like, I can't write anything down unless I move her.

She's got a big thing of catnip that I got yesterday. Oh, she was. She was a good stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah, and then I got these little catnip, they'll kick your kitty kicker sticks that, uh, oh, nice. You get two of them in the pack, yeah.

It's cute. You want this? Is this what you want? You want your kitty kicker? And we throw it. It is cute watching them kind of freak out and roll around and be roly-poly. Yeah. I love it.

We too. So my name means God's little, mean, Scott's Little Duff. And there's many ways to say, you can say, Yonina, you can say Yona. And with Yonah, there's two different spellings, well, both of them. Because for some reason, they don't have. have the H at the end of the give me kisses and stuff. You're making me

blush on screen here. Yeah. I call it value added content. If anyone's not listening, you know, paying attention, they can still enjoy the cats. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true.

So you have different ways to say my name. And for some reason in Hebrew and Israel, they don't, they don't include the H is at the end of names. So when you see my name, you'll probably notice that it's Yonah, but without the H. Okay.

And that's, yeah, that's the Hebrew spelling. And then the one with the H is the American or Anglo-Saxon spelling. Yeah, because it gives us that kind of visual cue that it's an ah sound at the end of it. Yeah, yeah. Although I think it's about the same. I don't know that anyone would look at the spelling. without the age and assumed that it was a yone yeah not exactly you know we'd expect like a why at the end of it or something right well yeah some people uh depending on where you go might even they might

they might actually like spelled or pronounce it that way sure yeah you know very cool god so um so i i also have a uh so i've got a very traditional um hebrew name benjamin uh going way back to to one of the 12 original tribes of israel you know that guy, Benjamin. And from what I understand, the translation of my name, it's Ben Yamin. So it is son of the right hand. Okay. For what that's worth. I don't think I see. My mom never, because I asked her, well, I know what Ben means. Ben means son of because I have a brother named Benadam, the one that's the same, his birthday is the same as Pushkin and Russia. Yeah. So his name is Benadam, which means son of Adam. And I asked her like, well, so,

what does Benjamin mean? And she's like, I know, I told her I know what Ben means. It means, I mean, son of. But what does job mean mean? She's like, I don't know. So she never learned that part. So now I could tell her it means son of the right hand. That's cool.

Yeah, yeah. So was he, now was he from, was he part of Aaron? I am not a biblical scholar. I'm trying to get better at it. But so that kind of names and dates and who, was the son of who. I think they all descended from Abraham and then Aaron, that sounds right, but I couldn't, I couldn't tell you for sure.

And then whoever was the father of the 12 tribes, that's Israel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're cool. Israel. There you go. And I, so, and it's fascinating, too, because I am aware of the idea of black

Hebrew Israelites, but if you ask me to tell you what it means and what you believe, I couldn't do it. I'm very much not well studied on that enough to speak in any kind of authoritative manner on what it is. The thing about that is it's changed. And now you have two different factions of Hebrew Israelites in Israel. Because you have the one that is like, you know, unorthodox. And, you know, they say don't have a religion, set religion. They don't practice, you know.

And then you have the one that are. of, they say they are of Deceive Abraham and that they practice the the original Aramaic law and that you know they they live a certain way

so it depends on who you ask because you got the ones you follow Ben Amin the aka the lawless one and and then you have the ones that follow the original course that was set that all the families, you know, agreed upon.

What do you do? So is it, when you say that, it was, uh, was it the, the original Benjamin back there, Beniamen, that, um, split off from the other tribes or was one of them? Do you say your lineage is from a particular one or? Well, my mom said, we're supposed to be from the tribe of Asher. Okay. Uh, so, and she said that, uh, there was something with our, our fingers. They don't, you see right here, if I put them together right there, they don't all come together unless I

press them together like that. Hers is more pronounced. So that, she said, is a sign of the tribe of Asher. Okay. Now, I don't know how true that it is. I'm just giving you what she said. Because, you know, she's the expert. But as far as the tribe now, the Hebrew-Israelite tribe now, I'm telling you from Ben Ami mean son of Ami I don't know what A M-M-I I don't

Oh Ben Amin not Ben Jamin Okay gotcha got you got to Right So I don't know Exactly what Ami means So I'm gonna have to You know Check that out

Go look it up and circle back You know Fair enough But he's from Chicago So, you know, all of us came from that area in Chicago. So on the west side, mostly, west side, south side type deal. And so what happened was the central families that came together to move, they got basically, they split up because some wanted to follow Benami,

and some wanted to continue on and do what they said they was going to do as a, you know, but kind of like a co-op together. And because of that, there was a split there. Now, that's the split I'm talking about, where you have the ones who follow Benamy, who say they don't have a set religion, and then you have the ones who follow the original plan and say they do have a set religion,

and it's the Abramic faith and culture and way of life. Okay. Yeah, because I was never, certain whether um whether it was a a specific type of religious faith that they had you know practices i'm gonna sneeze maybe not uh it's threatening we'll see it'll come out or it won't um or if it was more of i i do oh it's so dissatisfying and then your nose it's because it didn't didn't happen i know no sorry sorry um yeah i see i've been ignorant about the whole thing in terms of like where it started and it seems like this was a did it kind of originate in that south side of

Chicago community type area and then west side. Oh, Westside. Sorry. And then spread out from there. So what was about the time frame on that, kind of the genesis of it? Um, but, uh, it was between 19, because my mom was 12 and 1968, 18 between. 17 and like 1970.

So between 168, 1970. That's about when. Because remember I told you she had to run back from Africa the first time on Rovia Liberia to back to America and they didn't have their passports or anything so they had to live in the the migrant tenements

with all the Ghanians and stuff like that and that's where my mom is being cursed before and like when she was in Africa she told me that she saw a man, a dead man, danced to his grave and she saw and she saw a goddess

called down to exact revenge on this girl named Nanny who was she was having relations with all the statesmen and they were married

and so their wives didn't appreciate that so they called down the goddess genocide to exact revenge or, you know, give retribution for her doing that. And so my mama said she saw this entity, this goddess, go fly into like an owl. Okay, shape shift. First she was an owl, she flew into the tree, then she was a panther on the ground.

Okay, and then from that she became a man, and she was about to unzip the tent. And so, yeah, so my mom told her to get up. Now, my mom at the age of 12 at this time was still a virgin. And so she said, that's what, that is what saved many. Nanny woke up and she screamed in her hair turned white. So, and my mom, and from that day on, my mom had like a halo or white hair that she's always had for her entire life. Wow. So, that's a hell of a story.

That's, I'm, yeah, I know. Now, I tend to be a pretty open-minded person, but also a very, like, scientifically rational person. So what I say about these kind of things is, I don't think you're lying to me. And of course not. And, or that your mom lied to you, but like, I don't know what to make of that. I don't know. That's outside anything I can prove. I don't know what to make of it either.

Me too. Me too. Yeah. I put that in the same category as people who say they've had prophetic dreams. Maybe they did. I mean, they tell me they did. So it seems like that's actually happening. again, if I just assume they're not lying, which why would I?

Okay, this is an experience you're reporting. What do we do with that? How do we make use of it? I don't know. Like, if you were to bring me, bring me a dream and ask me, Ben, can you tell me, is this dream prophetic? Is this going to happen? I couldn't, I couldn't tell you for sure one way or the other.

So I try to, I tend to leave that stuff off to the side. The good thing is, that's one of it. That's basically the dream we're going to cover today. Okay. That's fine. All the way back in like 2007, 2000. Nate and yeah. Well, did you want to, did you want to go ahead and jump into it?

Is that a good transition? If it is for you, you know, I, you know, you kind of comes to a host. It kind of comes around naturally. Like, oh, hey, dreams came up and we're talking about this dream. So we just, we just have you tell me about it. Of course, what time we got here on here 30, 30 minutes in 30, 47, is. All right. Yeah.

So the, the process is you just tell me about your nocturnal vision, the, the experience you had beginning to end, like a story. and we'll see what we can do with it together. So I'm ready when you are. Great. And then after that, I got a whole lot of other stuff to talk to you. Oh, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, cool. So basically, okay, and now this is weird because I had this dream, same dream twice in the same night. Hmm. What happened was I was, I know I was sleeping, and I was in the, this, I was in the attic, of this house. And while I was in the attic of this house, I was looking for quarters in this, like,

chest and drawer, you know, where you put your clothes and stuff. And I was there with this boy, this little boy who seemed, his maturity made him seem older, but I now realize that it was my friend from when I was like three or four, he got ran over by a car. And we were looking for quarters, and we found two of them in the chest of door. And so once we did that, we got happy. And then all of a sudden a sparrow, because I thought it was a barn ring, but it actually happened to be a sparrow, to the window of the attic.

And she came to tell me that there was a red rain that was coming. And that this red rain was going to change everything. And that I needed to go into the house and tell, one, everybody else that was in the house about the red rain that was coming. So I said, okay. and I went downstairs to the first floor and I immediately went to the kitchen and when I went to the kitchen

I don't know what they're doing that I'm sorry my cat's out there so I'm just trying to make sure she's like not being mean and stuff so I went to the kitchen and there were three people sitting there there was a mixed black girl there was a blonde hair blue-eyed

white guy and there was a blonde-haired blue-eyed white girl and as I'm sitting there and I'm you know telling them that this red rain there's a bird that came to the window told me this red rain was going to come

the two girls they left out immediately they left out the door immediately. It was like a side door. Though it wasn't like you know, like you know the side door to a kitchen that's what they left out of. Right.

So now the guy he sat there and he just sat there you know waiting for this red rain to come and when they didn't come after he you know got tired of waiting he goes to leave

but when he leaves he doesn't leave out of this side door to the kitchen he leaves out of like the patio door a patio door you know with the double glass and so as soon as he leaves out the red rain starts

and I can see that the house is a blue type of house it's painted blue by the way and so when he leaves out I start crying and I you know I run out after him and I try to save him but I can't and so like we start melting

together in the red rain. And I wake up after that, I shoot up in the bed. And so I'm like, wow, this that dream was intense, you know? And so I get up, I go to the bathroom,

I get a drink of water. I'm living in a group home at the time. And it was, the group home, before it was a group home was like a seminary for nuns. and the Catholic Church that was around the corner from us, they donated it to Hull House.

Jane Adams' Hull House. They're like community services, child services type deal. And they work with DCFS to house orphans, basically, awards of the state. So I get up. I get a drink of water and use bathroom. I go back, come back to the bed to go back to sleep. It's around 3 a.m.ish.

I go back to sleep and I basically had the same dream again. I'm hoping I don't, but yeah, that's basically what happened. But it's different, a bit different this time. So the same thing happens. Looking for quarters with my friend who died. when we were three years old, got ran over by the car. Bird comes, sparrot comes, tells me what's going to happen, and I need to go warn the others in the house.

I go warn the others in the house. The same thing happens. The two girls leave out. The guy sits there and he waits, and he waits in the kitchen, and he waits. And then he leaves out. But this time, the door. The door becomes like a front door. You know, the front door with sunrise glass at the top.

Yeah. That's the type of door that the patio glass doors turn into. And then I hear noises. So I run into, basically, I think I'm running into the living room, but it's kind of like I just kind of turned around. and there's this basement there and these African women these very dark skin

there are three of them and they have on like a servant scar but like a royal type of servant scar and they it's a purple blue type kind of like tie-dye type coloring and they come up out of the basement

and they stand there and they look at me and then after that I hear a peel of thunder and then that's what wakes me up the second time and it's daytime when I wake up this time all right that's amazing

writing down all these time stamps here we got lots of great detail on that how old were you when you had this dream what age would you say I was about 1920 Okay. Just curious about the timeframe because sometimes that can mean, mean different things. Okay, so let's do the analysis part of it. So, some themes jumped out at me, but the age maybe doesn't seem to fit with my initial intuitive thought. So that's good. I want to, you know, a double check on the age. I can say it's not that. My initial intuitive thought was, was the, or the, what am I trying to say? The idea that jumped into my head when you said red rain was, uh, menses,

like the onset of period. Um, now, maybe that's just in my head. If I say that and doesn't mean anything to or the time frame doesn't fit, then it, it's probably something completely different. It was starting to line up in my head a little bit. And we might play with that idea. We might leave it on the shelf as something to consider tangentially is that there was, there was very much like the,

the girls that were in there, as soon as you told them about the red rain, the girls understood immediately and took off. But the man seemed like he didn't get it or he was waiting for something or he, um, so there was a breakdown in the gender or, or sex distinction between how they respond to the situation. We were all to, we were all told to stay in the house.

So when they left, it was actually a bad thing. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. No, no, fair enough. Um, so yeah, that,

that's one thing that, um, uh, what am I trying to say? It's, it's okay to have those intuitions. And this is speaking from my perspective, like how I view my, my own process. It's okay to say, well, wonder, I wonder if this has any relation to it. But then I need to check with you and confirm and get the timeframe right and see if it really lines up. And most more important than anything, if you, if you feel it or not. And it seems like that's not the right direction to go with this. The red rain is something else. Um, and especially clarifying the details. So I'm happy to be wrong as long as it helps us refine where we're going with the thing.

So I could have just kept that to myself and not said anything, but I'd rather say, what about... Oh, yeah, throw everything on the table. Right, throw it all out there. That's what I'm saying. So you're in the attic with a friend that had died when he was about three years old and you were also very, very young? yeah we're both three about three years old yeah doing here I'm going to do a page three here and this is the attic of a specific house that you recall from real life

or kind of a random generic house okay it's gonna be weird excuse me that's okay it's a house that I didn't see until like a year later when I moved to this place where I'm living now. That gets into the kind of prophetic side of things, huh? Where it's like, how did I see this house in my dream? Or at least when you saw that house,

it's like, this is the house for my dream where it looked enough like it. Yeah. Yeah. That's, I don't know what to do with that. That's crazy. That's, you know, I'm like, well, I believe you. But it's like, wow, how does that fit it there? I don't know.

So it could have related to things you were. so let's see if we go with the with the prophetic angle on it could have related to things that you were getting a sense you would experience later so what i might what might do and this is i'm i'm i'm always trying to push myself to break new ground in terms of like understanding things and normally i would say let's take that prophetic stuff and just put it off to the side i don't know what to do with it but if we look at this dream from that angle are there things that happened to you after you found that house that also relate to the dream? Other things that you later experienced that you can draw any connection to?

Well, maybe. Are we on to something there? We could, we could be because, well, good grief. My whole life has been filled with these spiritual things. And, you know, and it's like, it's something that's, for some reason, in my family, we just been passed down. And it's a thing where you have the ability to ignore it if you want to. But it's more, it's more the male side that does the ignoring of these, you know, abilities than the female side. You know, because they just, they kind of just want to live life. and, you know, life is already hard enough for a guy, you know?

So, and I totally, I get that and I understand it. But for me, I, I dove head in, well, first I did the toe in, and then I'm back there, and then I dove head first in, and then I'm like, oh, my God, I'm Johnny Save Me. Right. It should, yeah, it should, like, the, the woo-woo side of life. That's what I call it. With affection, I call it the spooky woo.

I don't know. I don't know what to do with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, the expecting the notes. Yeah. Yeah.

There we go. She thinks she's going to learn things by osmosis. Yep. That's good. So, well, when I first moved out here, I was with my mother. because I've had a tumultuous life I was they took me from her

I'm like I'm her only girl I'm her only girl and I'm a last child and they took me from her for unjust reasons I basically was medically kidnapped then they exploded my stomach with infamil as a one month old child

then they gave me back to my mother she said when they gave me back to her, my stomach was bloated and I had all types of tubes sticking out of me. And so, you know, she went to her mother to try and find out what to do because she said, my mother said I was basically dead. But she brought me back from the brink of death. And then after like a year of me having that time with her, you know, between a mother and child, they, she's, my mother said they stripped us from each other again. and then I went through traumatic

situations and stuff you know with the people my dad's side of the family I was placed with and all this other stuff and then I was put in from my dad's side of the family

to foster home foster home was abusive and then I went from that abusive foster home at the age of 13 which was my most stable in life then and this is the most

stable I've been in life than any other time except that I lived in her house for about 12 no eight no let me see 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 to 11, 12 8 years

okay so from the age of basically 5 to the age of basically 13 and that was a tumultuous time we, you know, they didn't know how to care for children. First off, childhood trauma wasn't even a thing back then.

Like, they just found out in like 1980s that babies have feeling and they feel pain and they need to give babies pain killers when they get doing surgeries on them and putting in the sleeping stuff. Yeah. So, you know, so, you know, I'm an 80s, baby.

I'm the end. I'm the beginning of the millennials. So, 1987. So I'm going to be 36 this year. big things happening right congratulations life has failed to kill you so far right yeah well not like I have to say it's evil because I have to make that distinction

you know because you know life don't do that to people you know I'm gonna I'm gonna give you life and now I'm gonna kill you no life I pay like that so but yeah so I went from being in the abusive foster homes to being in these like neglect for group homes. And then from that,

you know, they just fit me out of the system and said, good luck at the age of 21. And I'm like, well, okay, when I'm going to school for massage therapy, I want to heal people. Because, you know, I wanted to do veterinarian, you know, be a vet, you know,

an animal doctor, which, you know, I hit or miss with my cat because he first came to me as a baby. a baby a kitten because like one month old

and around her first year with me she lost her leg to an infection and she they said she almost didn't make it and whatnot so I was like okay

now I got to step it up so now I get this tea relief from my cat is pain because I'm pretty sure she has what they call phantom limb pain

because she only got three legs yeah yeah And then I give her this. It's a multivitamin. I get her that once a day. Very nice. And then she has allergies. So you can give, this is the little green pill.

You can give cats this once a day for allergy relief. Okay. And she has this little, she has this little oil. because, you know, she gets a little anxious. So I got her some hemp oil to help her stay calm, you know. There you go. So I've been, and I've been taking care of her for five years. I've figured out her birthday is about September 7th.

So, you know, a few days before my mom's. And so she's just turned five this year. So I'm obviously been doing something good, taking care of her, you know, these past five years. So, yeah, I'm great. grateful for that, you know, so I did kind of become a vet, but only to my own little cat or whatever. But, hey, it's, but, you know, so. Yeah.

You did express that love. Right. Yeah. I did, I did work as a vet, not even a vet tech. It was a kennel assistant. And I got to work, do that work in two different places. And one place was wonderful. And I loved it.

And it was, you know, out of this world. you know, I wanted, that's what made me want to do it again when I, when I got moved because the, um, Maryville and the Plains, Illinois, that group home got shut down because of all the, uh, shady stuff going on there. And then the, the, the main person, John, uh, father, John Smith, got, um, accused. And I'm like, but he never, he never did anything to me. And I, I, I'm, at his house all the time with two dogs just chilling, you know? So it's like, and then Father Ryan

who nobody liked to go or her, and it just went worse, you got worse after that. So, from that, I was moved to Aunt Martha's in Park Forest, and I was doing pretty good there and I got a job

there, but at the job there, it's like, it was so much support. And I guess It was, it's like, it's like people in the, the demographic or economical, uh, um, status of an area. The, the richer you are, the more you care about, the more you care about the animals, the more you care about, you know, the wildlife and stuff around you. Yeah. The, the poor, the poorer you are, the less you care about the animals.

And, and, you know, the life that depends on you around you. Yeah. So. Sometimes you got more, you know, immediate. concerns you got to address you don't have a lot of spare energy to be sharing around yeah right so the the uh the um animal hospital in uh stager stager animal hospital that i worked at it was it was a part they did they had enough staff but they didn't care about the animals like you know the ones in arlington heights the little you know

ricksy ones cared about and plus it was um it was a um it was a animal shelter. It was like, you know, where you bring, you know, the dogs and stuff, you know, to, you know, that you don't necessarily want anymore, strays if you find out on the street, the police would bring to the shelter and, you know, to force to board and take care of and whatnot. And so, you know, while I think that's a good thing, I also think that the quality of where they're being boarded, because you don't take them off the street and then, you know, and put them in this little square cubicle with like a little blanket

and just leave them there like that's, you know, and then, you know, it's, and not, they weren't cleaning them like they should. We call them runs, the kennel, we call them runs. And they didn't, in this one, they didn't clean them like they should, you know, which would spread disease, you know, if you didn't clean it right. So, so I was, um, I would, after the shift left and I come in for the next shift, I would be cleaning and I asked them,

did you guys clean this run and, you know, this set of kennels over here and they say, yeah, we cleaned them. And, you know, me being me, I'm a perfectionist. So that's one of the reasons why I'm so propassionatory. So, but because I'm afraid that I'm not going to do it perfectly. But it took me a long time to get to this. point. And one of the reasons, this is one of the reasons why I got to this point, because nobody wants to be a perfectionist with me and want to help make sure that everything is everything.

It's hard to have higher standards than the people around you. They don't think they're doing anything wrong when you're like, but we can do it better and they're like, we don't care. Yeah. Right. You give me, exactly. So I was cleaning the runs and I go and check, you know, to, to, you know, check on the runs that they did. And there's, like, all types of hair and gunk up under the, you know, the bed of the run or some of these dogs. And I'm like, you said you cleaned it up. Why is their hair up under, you know what I'm saying?

And I, you know, I brought this to the person who ran, you know, the hospital. And she's like, well, okay, yeah, I'll talk to him. And I told him, I'm doing this. This is why it's taking me so long. We We select runs that we're going to clean And then we clean them individually We don't have we don't help each other

Or anything like that And then I go and check the runs To somebody before me The shit before me said they already clean And they all dirty and filled with hair And gunk and stuff That's not good It's going to make the dogs here

Ticker and then you're going to have to put them down Maybe you get money for each dog that you put down I don't know, but I'm not with any of that. And so I'm telling you, I worked until I got so stressed until, you know, my, it caused me to, you know, bleed down there. Yeah. And that was, that was pain for bleed. Now, is that something, just to help me understand maybe the time frame, you said this dream happened around 1920 years old. Is that when you were working at the kennels as volunteers? your first jobs or was that later?

Nope. That was, this was before. This was, that dream was later. I was working at this. I was seven, about 17, 16, 17 years old when I was working at the campus.

Okay. So, but, yeah, so I just, you know, I was, you know,

that was, you know, horrible. And then I got fired. So I didn't, I couldn't work there no more. So I gave up my dream for being a vet. And I,

I went into, well, if I'm not going to be a vet, I can try and heal people. And, you know, we're going to do energy work. So that's where, you know, I was at when I got emancipated, were basically kicked out of the DCFS system. And so, but I didn't have any support. I didn't, you know, there was no support system for me there in any way, shape, or fashion at all.

I had family, but you know how you got family, but they're not family. Yeah, we're related, but they're not really Yeah, yeah No, yeah That's what I had And that's kind of what I still have to this day So, um, I didn't They weren't like behind me like, yeah

We got your back We're gonna help you get to school on time Or we're gonna help you get to school That are if you need some place to, you know Just crash because you don't want to be at home By yourself because you got mental issues You can come over here and chill out You know different things like nope

Nope, didn't have none of that I actually had had a dream in the apartment that I was in that there was on, what was it? 79th and Jeffrey, 73th and Jeffrey, somewhere around there

on the east side of Chicago. One of the people who died in there showed up in my dream and he was right next to me, but he was like a zombie. Y'all like, you all said? While I'm sleeping. And I said, and then another dream I had there, there was, I'm telling you, this is why I'm telling you about these abilities that, you know, running my family.

It's all related. Yeah. Dead people would show up to me. And there was one dead girl that showed up to me and was like, and she was pregnant. And she was like, you told me he was going to keep me safe. I don't know you. Where you come from? So after all that, and another thing, when I say family is a family, so before I left the group home, I told my dad asks me, what are you doing?

And I'm like, well, I'm in school to become, you know, a massage therapist, and I want to own my own site, on place, and I want to do this and do that. And now, him and his sister hate each other, you know, for various reasons. they both agreed that I shouldn't do that. That is something that I wouldn't be good at. They said they were just so discouraging of me and all this other crap. And so, you know, after that, I didn't want to be in Chicago here anymore. Like, what's the point? So I finally got connected to my mom out here.

So that's when I moved with her this way. It's west of Chicago, way west, like two, three hours west. for Chicago. And so, this is in 2009 when I moved out here. And we were living with her youngest son, on Edwards first.

And then we moved from there to Central. And then we moved from Central on where we lived from 2009 and 10 to, well, it was the earliest, early part of 2010. We moved from there to this

house on Harrison that way. That was a yellow house. And it was right next to the house with the blue house with the glass doors. But the patio, which it was weird because the patio was like

the front door, which is how it felt in the dream. It was weird. So we moved there with her oldest son. And then while we're there, he moves out, okay? And we're there from 2010

to 2011, like the early, last end of 2011. Now, see, I'm thinking because when I had, I don't know if you call it remote view or astral projection, but when the, when the

Fukushima earthquake happened, I was in the body of a little girl there. And her dad had just went to, we were in this, this commerce building, he was there to do business, like a high rise. And I had just went to sit down to wait for him to do his business.

I was like seven or eight years old, a little Japanese girl. And he had just got in line. And all of a sudden the building starts shaking and whatnot. And it fell on, top of her. And so when that happened, I shot up in bed. I'm like, and I'm looking around. I'm like,

Mama, did you feel that? And she's like, yeah, what was that? And I'm like, I don't know. And then, like, I start looking online and I start seeing these news articles because of my

laptop, I had a little laptop in the phone back then, but I was on my laptop. and the information about the earthquake started coming out and like I started, I was watching these videos on YouTube of people running and all this other stuff happening in Japan and I'm like, oh my God, you know? And like one video, I swear, I watched

and it showed like two parts of the island, this is one part and this is one part, and it showed that it was swained together. like this. Yeah. Yeah. So, so, uh, that was in 31111. So we were living over there in that, on that house.

But the thing about that is three months before that, because this area is kind of open to spirituality and whatnot like that. So, oh, and there's a, there, there's something else I'm going to tell you about the thing that happened out here that, uh, it was weird. Because, yeah. So anyway, but before 311, 11, 11, 11, January 1st, 2011, and now I hear voices. So, you got to excuse my schizophrenia. But I hear voices.

Fair enough. So, yes. So I'm walking down the street. I'm coming from a party or something like that, something. Something's what's going on. It's, you know, January. and it's the first January and I'm walking around this corner

I live in a high rise myself now and I'm coming around this it's like a curve it's not like a corner like you know you're just straight corner it's like a curve and I'm coming around here and I hear this voice asked me what do you hear

and so I stop and I listen and I'm listening and I'm facing West as I'm listening and all of a sudden I hear all this screaming and I say I hear all this screaming

and all these like voices in trouble and like terror and stuff and then like I hear another voice tell me don't say that but what do you want me to say that's what I heard Right? And then

311-11 happens. The Fukushima accident happens. And then that goes into what's ongoing right now with the nuclear issue in the Pacific Ocean. Wow. And, yeah. And I feel like that could have something to do with the red rains that was coming to change, you know,

because of, you know, the acid rain and everything, you know, and how Fukushima has basically changed our environment. So, there's that. And then, what else? Oh, I had to,

there's another dream that I had a dream over here about a coronavirus rejection that ended, or, I've had a lot of earth ending stuff. A lot of, we, I guess we can do that at the time or something. But yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's one of those things that, if we look at it purely symbolically, there's a lot of apocalyptic imagery that has a lot of different meanings based on the individual. And it may not be literal. I think we did, you know, at one point having, as you say, a coronal mass ejection that passed between the earth and the individual. the moon. Like it was close enough that it could have hit us. And if it did, we would have had another, what they call a Carrington event, which we had a coronal mass ejection hit Earth.

And it doesn't really hurt biological organisms as much, but it melted all the telegraph wires in the 1800s. Like they melted because and like our dependence on what we're doing right now, computer communication and record keeping. And we get, we get hit by a solar flare. All of that's just Gone, gone. People, I don't people understand how much we need tangible resources and mediums of exchange and communication. We don't, we don't take into account that in 1859, they didn't have like 400 plus nuclear power plants. Yeah. And they didn't have bank records on computers that are just going to fry. And then what? All your money's gone? Any record of it? Your home mortgage deed or whatever is gone. um we would we would hope people take that seriously enough that they've got that material protected underground in a fair day cage hard copy yeah hard copies printed out of some kind yeah yeah it's

you some gold and silver or something uh yeah these are not bad ideas or or at least like uh you you hear the push for say central bank digital currencies well okay digital currencies aren't so bad but what do you do when the power goes out you can't right you can't tap your phone to make a purchase you got have cash no i don't know that we should ever do you have to do rid of a paper currency or gold or silver or something like that. Yeah. And I don't know if you heard about it, but there are certain places who were, who tried to make, uh, having, you know, money, currency illegal. You had to have digital, you know, uh, capability.

And it's like, you're not accepting cash. The same thing that we've been using for the last 250 years. Oh, yeah. Why are you? I mean, I like the, uh, convenience of a credit card. That's not so bad. But then, yeah, again, if the credit card machine, machines down and you're like, I got to buy gas. What are we going to do? Or, or the gas pumps

aren't working because they got fried too. And who knows what it's going to happen with that. I mean, there's all kinds of. So, you know, just going back to the idea of the apocalyptic imagery is that it isn't. Okay, I got to split it off the psychological, metaphorical side of things and then the possibly literal spiritual side. Who knows? I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to tell you the difference. But on the psychological side, There's a lot of cycles of endings and new beginnings that we go through. And let's say, you know, a person has a world ending catastrophic dream and it leaves them in terror. And it turns out after talking about it, well, she's having problems with her boyfriend.

And her world she's built with him is going to end. She feels like he's going to leave her. Now, maybe she's right or wrong, but that's how she feels. And that is the end of her world as she sees. It's a lot of world ending things that can be just psychologically represented. I did want to get the, get the timeline, uh, more solid in my head. So it was about 19 or 20 that you, uh, had this dream and then, and then what, how old were you when you saw this blue house for the first time? 21, 22.

21, 22. Okay. So it was very relatively short term. Um, you know, I mean, a couple of years, but still, um, in between those. And then to have this, this healthy house either. And there's, there can be difficulties with dream memory in some ways. And, and again, this is not me. I'm not, I'm certain you're not lying.

And I'm not accusing you of having a false memory either. Just throwing it out there, the idea that it's possible, this real house bore a strong resemblance to it. And I think that is what you're saying as well, even if it wasn't identical, even if it wasn't literally prophetic. can still be like, this is just like similar enough that it gives you a spooky feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's hard to, it's hard for me to say 100% guaranteed. This is literally the exact same house you saw from the dream. But it looked enough like it that you're like,

this is trippy. I think we could just acknowledge those feelings and say, okay, it is what it is. That is what it feels like. It looks enough like it that I'm spooking me out. I get you there. Right. So I was, and so it's interesting too. You're in the dream you're going from you're being a 19, 20 year old woman, but you're thinking back to, you know, young woman, but still, thinking back to when you were three years old. And I was asking about the house you were in in the dream. Was that a real house or a dream house, so to speak? Like it, some people say, I was in the house I lived at when I was three years old and this happened there. And some people say, no, it was just a house. I don't know what house. it was or where and that can make a different sometimes it was it was a house okay it was it was a house um because i'm thinking about the house that i lived in and in some respects because of like the basement that reminded me of the house where um i lived as a little girl kind of okay because And that might have got incorporated. Yeah.

Because it was, well, this, this, this, the house that the dream happened in, it was open concept. So there was no door there to the basement that I could see. And they, when they came up out of the basement, it was, it was dark down there. Um, but the house that I lived in now, they, that would have, that had a door to the basement. and then when you went down, there was like a landing, and then there was a side door to go outside right there. And then there was the rest of the stairs to go down into the basement. And those stairs to go down into the basement,

reminding that had some semblance to the stairs to go down into the basement in the dream. That's what they reminded me of. Sure. Interesting. Yeah, because we've got this thing where you are 19, 20, and you're thinking back to being a child again in the attic. And there's layers of verticality to the dream as well. You're in the attic and you bring the message to the ground floor.

And then in the second dream, which is definitely related, same dream, but then with additional elements, these the African or the royal servants come out of the basement area. Also up from the from below to have some kind of an interaction with you. The dogs, he wants back in my lap here. Come more peanut butter. Come here.

Oh, he's named peanut butter. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I think he wants me to take him outside to go, go pee. Are you good to take like a 10-minute break? Benjamin the Dream Wizard wants to help you pierce the veil of night and shine the light of understanding upon the mystery of dreams. Every episode of his dreamscapes program features real dreamers, gifted with rare insight into their nocturnal visions.

New DreamScape's episodes appear every week on YouTube, Rumble, Odyssey, and other video hosting platforms, as well as free audiobooks, highlighting the psychological principles which inform our dream experience and much, much more. To join The Wizard as a guest, reach out across more than a dozen social media platforms and through the contact page at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, where you will also find the wizard's growing catalog of historical dream literature. available on Amazon, featuring the wisdom and wonder of exploration into the world of dreams over the past 2,000 years. That's Benjamin the Dream Wizard on YouTube and at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com. Well, I'll remember to reach out to you and, you know, through the Discord as well. I was looking for Yona. You're not in there, your Lady Raven or whatever, and I didn't, Dove Raven, yeah. I didn't remember that that was your name on there, so I couldn't find you.

Um, okay, weird. First off, don't, don't freak out weird, um, de Javu. I'm having a deja vu moment. Yeah. I'm going to explain to you why I picked the name, Dove Raven. Yeah. Two reasons why. Are you ready?

Well, first off, do you want to guess one reason? Well, one reason we would probably have to do with your name, because Dove is in your name, right? So that, that's probably, that's probably as far as I could go. go with it. I don't know what the other connection is. Okay. So, well, there's like three reasons. Well, okay, let me just get them out. Sure.

One reason is because, like you said, my name is Dove. Um, and, but my Native American birth sign is under the, the medicine of the raven. Okay. Nice. Number one. I should find out what mine is. Yeah. What, wait, what month are you? It's late February. So I'm Pisces under the, you know, Greek astrology.

I think you're, I think you're an otter. That makes sense, too. I like that. I like otters. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, the second reason, uh, do you remember the two birds that Noah released from? Were they, were they doves?

One of them was a dove. Oh, I thought they were both dubs. What's the other one? he released the raven first and the raven didn't come back and then he released the dove and the dove came back with an olive leaf

the olive branch ah yeah yeah yeah and very interesting symbolism there too like ravens or crows typically associated with death death and doves with life yeah like also also

and leading it to that I love your intuition there. So I am my mother's first born and last born, which makes me what they call an alpha omega baby or C alpha omega seed. And so doves represent the omega and ravens represent alpha. Gotcha. Because ravens were the first. sent out those of the last to be sent out of the art and yeah nice very nice i like i like

creative names too so um one of the last i think just just the last episode i wrote well the episode before last um we dialed in one of the symbols in the dream as a kind of representation of the phrase the ugly truth something that you don't want to accept or would to push away. You don't want it to be true. It's an unpleasant truth, but eventually you got to kind of come to terms with it and accept it. It could be the bitter truth. The ugly truth is different. Maybe, maybe so. Maybe so. Well, this one, the phrase, ugly truth was because he put it in the formation of a kind of like the, um, the witch queen from Snow White. That's the, the, the visual representation. So the idea of that, that hunched over,

aged, unpleasant looking, ugly, but true. Ugly but true. A source of truth you don't want to, you would wish.

Right. A truth you might be willing to hear from a different source in a way, but a truth that is nonetheless true. And it's kind of like, it ain't pretty, but you got to accept it.

You don't have to like it, but you got to accept it. And then that was two representations where her regular face of, you know, the, regular queen asking who's the fairest of them all that's the bitter truth right and then the ugly truth of the old hag you know there you go yeah kind of crone or hag iconography yeah and then the

uh the most recent the last episode i just did um i always try to make it so when i title this episode with you i'll try and find something that's relative i related related to the content and our understanding of it and suits you um The last one I did was an interview with a fellow who is a Norse pagan, so that's his religious tradition. And he was dealing with issues of death, a friend of a friend or, you know, a friend lost their father. And life changes that seem to be another situation of a close to, but distinct from the idea of the bitter truth or whatnot. It was like adaptation to circumstances beyond your control and how you just have to kind of, okay, first you got to accept it for what it is. then you can figure out how to deal with it.

So for him, because he's a Norse pagan, there are, you know, the Greeks had the fates, the three women, young, middle-aged, and old, that spun the weave of fate. One spun it, one spayed it, another one cut it. Yeah, exactly. Well, the Norse, the Norse gods also have three female deities of a kind of fates in Norse mythology and they're called the Norns, N-O-R-N-N-S, and or the group of them is called

the Nornier, those three, the three women. And they, I don't have the mythology all in my head at them, but I know that part of what they do is carry, I think it's like the water of life and pour it on the tree of life, the Yigdrasel, and, and, and, but they also determine the fates of men. And so there is a line for, from edic poetry, one of the poetic edas that describes how a person was condemned to death. I think his name was Haftan was condemned or he was informed of his doom by the no, by the judgment of the nor near. And so, okay, I went a long way to explain the title, but that's the title for that

episode is when you're dealing with with death at adapting to to the end of things the beginning of new things in your life change that it's happening you better get used to it and figure out what to do about it that's how i came up with that title for the episode the judgment of the nor near um so i try to do that and all of this to go back to i appreciate the idea of names having meaning and how you chose yours i try to do the same thing with my episode titles they aren't all genius but i'm rather proud of the last last last two of them so anyway that's my story. It just means you're getting better.

The more you like your work, the better you're getting. Well, I hope so. Now, that's a two-edge sword, too, because I like to go to

idioms and common phrases, things that, that fit on multiple levels. And I've used up a lot of them. So the more clever titles I use up over the years, the less I've got remaining. And I don't ever want to repeat a title.

So I'm going to run into a problem someday. I'm out of names. I don't know what to go. Episode two. We're done. I'm just going to tie. that that's all I got. But we should get back to your dream.

I've got maybe maybe another hour and I should be getting on. I got some other errands to run later in the day. But we still got plenty of time. We were looking at the idea of you having a dream experience at a specific age that took you back to another specific age where you had a friend who died. And what you guys were doing is you were in the attic looking for quarters. and I was talking about the idea of levels. And there's a...

Did you start recording? Oh, no, I left it running this whole time. I'm going to cut out our break. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that way I don't have to work because I would forget. You're right. Thank you.

Thank you. You're not wrong. So very often in our conception, there's, you know, heaven is above, hell is below. That's one way to look at it. But we also think of rising, the cream rises to the top, rising through the ranks, of climbing the mountain, uh, to gain wisdom at the shrine. There's a lot of ways humans think of up as better than down in some ways.

Yeah, but then again we get, no, no, but no, you're right. And so you go, well, then you're right. Sometimes the way we conceptualize it is, well, we could say, oh, boy, his business really went downhill. And that's not good. Or we say the same phrase, it's all downhill from here, as in gravity is going to work for you on the bicycle. It's an easy ride.

So we look at it in different ways. So down can be good, can be better. Down is where water flows. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's not a moral question. So the way I'm starting to conceptualize this or what I want to throw out is the idea of taking something from this source up above is, it's in the place that is above is where you were looking for something tangible, material, orders for some reason. You wanted money and whatever it represents. But what you got was a visitation from some kind of.

spiritual communication of a way, like a prophetic morning. We talked to two quarters. You did, you did find the quarters. Yeah. Before the bird came. So I would be looking, and I am this, I'm verbalizing more in my process here. We're looking for why, why the attic? Well, I'm conceptualizing it as this upper place where maybe something important is

going to happen in, in your mind. You're conceptualizing that as that space. You're with this, you're at a specific age, with a specific person. who's no longer with us. You're looking for quarters and you do find them. You find this kind of material, tangible money type of thing. But immediately after that,

what you get is something maybe more important, which is this warning about danger coming. Right, right. Yeah. So we've got, and that's all just in this. So I was in the attic looking for quarters and a bird shows up.

And I'm like, oh, that could be the whole dream. We could spend hours talking about it. When I start phrasing it to you that way about who you were at the time or the representation of yourself at that age of life, looking for, looking for money,

specifically quarters. And did you have an intent of how to spend the money? Like, where you, when you were that age, is there something you, you know, you represent,

you, what am I trying to say? Something, you know, 25 cent piece means to you because when you were a child, you used to get handed a quarter to go out and get ice cream. Or you, you,

you were always happy to be at the store and your mom gave you a quarter. for the for the gumball machine is there some relationship to being that young and quarters specifically i wasn't that age in a dream it was him that was that age i was like i didn't ask you that i was i was um the same age i was in the real life okay oh oh i'm glad i rambled all that way to get that to get that um so you were um same age and he was three years old Oh, that's good to know. Same question, though. Is there something about that specific time in your life?

You did mention that your story has an element where you were initially taken away from your mom, then given back, then taken away again. Was that the second taking away that happened around three years old? No, that happened basically all in one year. All in the same year. Okay. Yeah, because I was born, October 14th, I was taking November 14th. And then, like, two weeks later, they gave me right back to her. And then a year later, on my, like, first birthday, they cut off off, like, communication with her.

Okay. At all. It seems to be unrelated. It's more about this. Yeah. It's unrelated. So at the age of three and four, for some reason, I don't know why I would do this. But I would take, like, pennies and dimes and, like, quarters and stuff.

stick them in between my teeth and they get stuck. Oh, wow. And I remember, like, the fire department coming and take, like, this quarter out between my teeth, and it happens so often. Okay. Interesting. You know, I'll tell you a little story about myself, too, when I was pretty young, probably about that same age, like, you know, four or five years old,

somewhere where it's one of my earliest memories. Like, I don't remember a lot before that. I took a little tiny piece of tinfoil. put it in my own ear like an idiot. And then I would not hold still for my parents to get it out with a pair of tweezers. I didn't even think, well, let's just turn my head to the side and shake it out. I was, you know, I was freaking out and they didn't know what to do. So they took me to the hospital.

And by the time we got there, I was calmer. And I let the doctor take it out with tweezers. And my parents were looking at me like, we couldn't have done this at home. Why were you freaking? And I feel bad for them. Like, I didn't know any better. They didn't know any better. It was just a terrible circumstance.

And I was an idiot. They put a piece of tin foot. in his ear. And of course, I freaked out. I'm like, oh, get it out of my ear. But yeah, it's one of those things where you look back on it. He just go, why did that happen? Just kids. You don't know what we're still. We don't. We don't know. Yeah. And that's, that's also, I mean, that would probably stand out as an icon for me and a dream of, you know, forgiving your innocent self for mistakes you really didn't know any better.

Would be, would be kind of my understanding of that. You know, and I don't look, look back on with the same amount of cringe I used to. Like when I was, I can remember having a memory of that incident when I was in my teenage years and feeling just horrible about it. Now I laugh at it. Now it's more laughable. And, you know, we can share it in terms of the story. Well, yeah, yeah, that's what kids do. Stick quarters in her teeth and have to call the damn fire department.

So there could be a bit of a connection there. But it seems like it's more important that it's this specific friend and why you would maybe be thinking of him. and he was a close friend or playmate at that time or just a boy you knew from the neighborhood. He was like, well, he lived next. Timothy lived next door to me. Okay. He, he would always dress up like he was a little man.

Like he, you know, the dress suit, suspenders. And that's what he liked. It wasn't just his parents, you know. No. Okay. The thing we had in common was, I guess, Well, my mother, they never gave a real good reason for to take me away from my mother. I got the hard copy of my whole entire case.

It's a big 30-pound box of documents. And I looked for the reason why they took me, and the best reason that I could find that they said they took me was for failure to thrive because my mother was under so much stress that she couldn't make milk and I wouldn't take the infamil because my body didn't see infamil as like, you know, baby milk. It's solid. It's like, sunk.

Oh, my God. What does this get the hell out of my body? That's probably we understand better now, but not so much back then. No, no, no. So they, you know, my mom, you know, she did what she could. She did the best she could. But instead of them trying to alleviate the stress of me. my mother, they increased her stress and of her and me and, you know, made this a messed up

situation. So if I had felt to thrive before and they almost killed me by exploding my stomach with the infamil that they didn't understand back then that not all babies can take that, not our babies bodies, see that it's something nutrient to help them go. Yeah. So, you know, so yeah. So that being said, it, uh, um, That's the best reason they gave for me failure to thrive.

So I don't know why they really actually took me from my mom. But my friend, I guess, I think his parents had died. I'm not sure. We both were very traumatized children, though, to say the least. So we looked out for each other and we kind of like stuck together like, you know what I'm saying, peas in a pot or, you know, salt and pepper or white. on rice or you know anything that goes to get cereal

milk you know yeah so he was a very detrimental part of my life he looked out for me better than the adults in my life looked out for me if you get you know yeah so

when he died and the thing is it was just it was so sudden you know and it hit me the worst because he was the only person I had. So, um,

I, that day I had come inside and there was some, for some reason, the storm door always caught my heels. And one time they caught my heels so much and so bad to the point where my heels were raw. But, uh,

this day was pretty good. And I remember this day, I, my foot was faster than the door. So the storm door didn't catch my foot. that day. So we were playing outside. We're playing with this ball or something. Everybody was outside on the porches and chilling out on the south side of Chicago. And we were just having fun. Everybody was just, you know, it was a good summer day. And I can't come in to get us

popsicles. And as I have the popsicles and I'm, you know, coming back to the door, I hear this I hear this you know you hear a very I hear that and then I like I knew it was him

I knew it you know I heard it I felt it and so I started running it outside I'm yelling his name and when the guy sitting on on our stoop

caught me and kept me from going outside to see like what was happening and everything. And he, like, as soon as he was hit,

he was dead, you know, and it's all because he had to stick, chase his stupid red ball, his favorite ball out into the street. Yeah.

Yeah. And so it was, it was one of them like, you know, the rubber balls that, you know, can play with, kind of like a tie-eye ball.

Yeah. And so it, um, yeah so I look at those balls I don't like those balls yeah I always wondered why yeah I always wondered why I didn't like those type of balls and now are now you know I understand like yeah because it was basically what killed my best friend yeah um so I think I'm getting a better a better picture of this here too so um right around 19 to 20 was when you were kind of aging out of the foster care situation and you were going to be good luck on your own in the world. So if we're looking at it like like that with that circumstance at the time and then the imagery, the candy in the dream, it seems like you had a friend who was, who was very close. And the way you're describing it, he was all I had. He's, uh, he was like a little man. And so he dressed nice. And he, and so he was like a like a caretaker slash support for you at the time

that looked out for you that was suddenly taken from you. And you've got a situation where this caretaking and support of the foster care system is going to be. be yanked out from under you like it's like like as as as severely as if your friend died and you're getting now you're also faced with financial problems going forward how do I live and so you've got this icon of a caretaker friend that came back to you in this dream and you're in this attic space and he's helping you try to find money something you're going to need he's he's looking out for you to to help you figure out how to support yourself does does that all kind of make sense if we look at it that way yeah yeah yeah

I never seen. I never even thought of it that way. There's something like that going on. And he succeeds. You find two quarters. And two quarters is plenty. I mean, it's,

I think the success is something, the fact that it is literal, tangible money, you got it in your hands. And then the next thing that happens to you is this bird comes to deliver this warning about a red rain. Um, so there's something connected to that where,

where the conclusion of one contained idea pops up this association with another where you've got. and I don't remember when you said You said it was a sparrow But at first you thought it was a different kind of bird A barn ren Okay And this is in the dream you had that thought

Is that a barn ren? No, it's a sparrow Actually, I didn't know it was a sparrow Because they kind of looked the same If you looked the birds up Okay So you weren't sure what kind of bird it was in the dream You just knew it was kind of bird

And then later you looked it up And oh, it's a sparrow actually I didn't find out that it was a sparrow until this year fair enough for the longest time I thought it was a barn ran I just like for years I'm like that's a barn ring no it was a sparrow so in the dream at the time did you identify it as a barn run or not until after you woke up in the dream the first thought that came to my head in the dream was it was a barn okay what um had you had any experience with that type of

of bird in the past or had you heard stories about that type of burden how they behave? Well, I liked, I liked them because I thought, you know, that they, you know, how they congregate, how they look out for each other and whatnot. And, uh, mm-hmm. So I kind of, you know, I, I can't remember. I think it was a story that got me into it that had a barn run. rent in it. And so I had

looked it up. This was a while before I even had the dream that I looked it up because I lived in Park Forest and I lived in like a literal forest in a group home that was at like the end of a drive you car all the way down. Yeah, then you get to the end and there's the

group home. So we all had a whole lot of wildlife around. this we had uh i've seen a fox twice nice in my life yeah i know yeah that's a i heard that's something that doesn't happen often so they stay away from people they're pretty smart about that yeah okay so this particular kind of image coming into your dream based on a previous association kind of makes sense and again we're back to that theme of they kind of look out for each other so it it um focuses on community so what would uh

What would a, what would a creature like that do in a dream? It would, you know, hopefully it would treat you like someone it cared for. And it would want to bring you a message, a warning, something beneficial, some beneficial information to you. I think that all, I think that all kind of makes, makes a tremendous amount of sense. And you said it told you that there's a red rain coming. You remember it speaking or you remember that it, that that's what it wanted to say, even though it didn't move it speak and make words. It communicated that kind of like telepathically.

Okay. I believe. Yeah. And that may or may not make a big difference, but I think it is a difference that I, that I like to be able to see sometimes. It's like when you say you heard, when you say someone told you something, how did that happen exactly? So it shared the information in some way communicated it. Fair enough.

Yeah, but speaking the words aloud might mean something different than the exact phrasing. So what it wanted to communicate is that a red rain was coming. Gotcha. And I don't know if you have any ideas or associations that pop into. I heard red rain and I immediately thought, Menzies, I don't know. But with you, what would your association with the idea of a red rain be? What does red rain mean versus regular rain, you know? Red rain at that time made me think, because I do, I believe in the Bible.

for me the Bible is a henna theist book because it does recognize other gods that they you know but they're not the god they're not the one who created I've heard some discussion about that lately yeah that the Bible kind of recognizes lower G other gods thou shalt have no god before me meaning there's others right maybe uh-huh yes yes so um so that being said uh I for me the red rain represented the like fire and brimstone type of deal of raining out of the sky coming down yeah and i wondered and that's a very different kind of rank because we think of rain there's very interesting things that happen in the english language and the word rain is one of them now we separate it out from the reign of an of an empire and you know an emperor or king reigns

over and that's a different spelling okay but if it's just rain we would say uh we think of rain as water falling from the sky, but we call it that because of what it does. It rains. It is water raining. Rain is a verb, but more than a noun in that sense to rain versus it is rain. And a lot of things can rain down upon you. You can have flower petals rain down upon you by an admirer. There's lots of different types of rain. So the idea of fire and brimstone falling from the sky, falling is the same as raining. It's that action verb. Um, yeah, yeah. So what I thought, what I saw in my head was literal red droplets of rain, like a red rain shower, but, but, but the idea that came to your mind was more of a fire and brimstone. So that's a very catastrophic apocalyptic vision type of thing. But it also, there's specific places in the Bible where that pops up. And I think that was, was that part of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorra was was fire and brimstone falling from the sky? Yeah. So there's so now, whether or not. anyone else out there believes any of that is actually true, at least in your mind, that's the

connection you have. And it would make sense that it's warning you about possible catastrophe. What is it? What was it? If I have my biblical stories, right, Sodom and Gamow was, they got a warning first. They got the chance to turn it around and say, hey, maybe we, you know, maybe you do things differently and you don't have to be destroyed. And then there was the whole negotiation, I think, well, if I can find one righteous man, how about 10? that kind of thing. So it was like the, um, consequences of poor choices is kind of like the,

the rain of fire and brimstone is, is when shit hits the fan because you're done fucked up. Uh, that's kind of how you, yeah, fuck around and find out. Absolutely. Um, okay. So I don't know where we're going with all that, but I,

but I like understanding how, you know, it's, uh, what, I just, I didn't write down any of that stuff I just said. it's like consequences. You got it in the recording. Poor choices. Like to write it down here because we're going somewhere with that too. I don't know where yet, but I, if I don't follow these threads. And that what I wrote down is that, you know, the bird told you a red rain is coming and it will change.

What I wrote down is will change everything. I don't know if that was the verbiage you used or just the fact. Yep, that was about it. Yep. That's verbatim. Yeah. So that's, that's also how I kind of conceptualize. As we're talking about the cycle, apocalyptic cycles, I don't know that,

so we're speaking biblically, there's a, there's a certain way of looking at it, which is a very literalist interpretation that at some point we're going to hit the end of days and it is the end of all days. And then there is nothing but, you know, heaven and hell and judgment and whatnot. There's a different metaphorical way of looking at it as, cycles that there are every time we go to bed at night and wake up in the morning that's a mini apocalypse the day is the day is ended a new day has begun and it's cyclical so either one could be applicable to this situation like it is the catastrophic end of something

completely which you know you you work on a project at some point it is finished we were talking about editing videos that is the apocalypse of of the editing experience it's not a disaster it's not a moral question. It's not, no one's being punished, but a project has ended. And then, you know, and so there's a finality to some things. Um, but it need not be a disastrous punishment consequence finality. Although it seems like maybe that's where you're going with this fire and brimstone thing that there's going to be some consequence that's going to hit and it's going to radically alter things. It's going to be the end of something and the beginning of something new. Does, does that feel right for, for this dream?

I don't know. You can, I'm just rambling. You can kind of say, say whatever it comes to your mind. Well, yeah, well,

I do agree with that. And it, because, well, like we said, I had this same dream twice in the night. So in the first part, I went out to try and save the one who didn't believe me.

The guy, there was nothing I could do for the girls, I guess. I didn't, or I didn't have this connection to them to where, you know, I wanted to risk my so-called salvation in the house where it was like a safe zone. Yeah, yeah.

To save, you know, them as opposed to me running out to save him. And so when I did run out to save him or try to, I couldn't get him to get him to get up off the ground because he started melting as soon as like the rain hit him. and so I tried to run back and you know, run back into the house and I couldn't get the door open and so I just ran back to him and we just, you know, we kind of melted together and we melted them to the ground

and that was the end of that one and then that's when I had that wake up and I'm like, you know, woke up out of it like, oh my God, that's weird that's so strange and worrying a little bit. And so I went and took a break from sleeping and went to, you know, use the bathroom

to get some water, contemplate my life. And then I came back to go back to sleep and here comes the dream again. Only this time things are changed. And so I can't see what's happening to the person who didn't believe me because that affected me so badly the first time. So the door was changed, you know? And then after that, the ones in the, the servant guard came up out of the basement in the second dream. so the second time around so oh yeah have you

going back to have you met go ahead sorry have you met uh have you met a lot of people um done that who say they

that they you know woke up out of the dream whatever it was nightmare whatever it was and then you know they go and they just try and do something else in the night and then they you know

until they get tired again and go back to sleep and it comes back to the same like dream um have you had that a lot i i have had a couple of people actually about two two episodes ago that was the experience of of that guy i believe where he had part of a dream one night and then a second dream that wasn't a precise repeat but was related to and seemed like it was building upon the first one so there's there's a couple of different okay so have i met anyone yes is it common not exactly it's not unheard of and it's not It's so rare that it's an oddity necessarily, but it is relatively uncommon among most people.

Like most people don't have, say, the same dream twice and the same night with changes. Um, that said, it's maybe more common than we know, but people don't remember it. Um, and it's, it's also explainable because you woke up from a dream that stayed with you and you remembered it. It's on your mind, even though you're doing some other things. And when you go back to bed, it would be not surprising to me. me that is still on your mind. But it didn't happen exactly as the same recurring dream. This time you, for some reason, you changed what you showed yourself.

You chose a different path in a way or explored a different what if that I think it's. So the difference between the two will probably have some relevance. I was going to ask about exactly. So you received this message from the bird. and the message contained both the idea that a red rain is coming, the fire and brimstone, and stay in the house, it's safe. And your thought was, I need to go, I need to come down from on high. Like, in some ways, almost like Moses coming off the mountaintop to bring the truth to the people,

you go down to the kitchen like, hey, you need to know what I know because you're going to get hurt if you don't believe me and do what I recommend. So there's very much, um, uh, not. Not the idea of, you know, I don't think you're elevating yourself to Moses level. I'm using it as an analogy. But also, I don't think you were enacting a savior complex of like, I am the only one who can say, no, no, you're just a regular person who learned something important and you care to share it for the benefit of others.

So you, but there is, yeah, you come down from this attic space, which could be, it could be the, the mountain top in a way. I think there's, there's, there's relevance to that idea of. bringing what you've know. Sometimes the, those, those idea of levels can be the head level and then the heart level and then other,

other chakras. It's one way to, to conceptualize it as well. For whatever reason, you wanted to bring this useful, important information and share it with people. All of that to say, we're getting to the people you choose to share it with or the way you

conceptualized who needed to hear the message, who was already present there. So there was a, mixed black girl, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white man and also a blonde-haired blue-eyed white girl. And it was the two girls that left and the man stayed. I wanted to get down into a little bit of more description of the people. Most importantly, did they remind you of anyone or of any type of person in some ways? like the

like the boy in the attic was your friend specifically from another time were these people like people you knew or like types of people you would conceptualize at that time in your life

like by the way they were dressed or their facial appearance other than their race specifically which which is also probably important so

no but but but yeah okay so weird because this was a weird time of dreaming for me so I've met the people in these dreams and other dreams.

Okay. You recognize those specific people from other dreams. So they probably do have a concept attached to them or a person type possibly. Like, what am I trying to say? Like if you, if it was very clear that one of them was a police officer, one of them was a, a pizza delivery guy. And one of them was a Starbucks. Those would be three different types of professions, very identified, and maybe even they would come with connections to your idea of the personality type. Maybe you would assume the policeman was very authoritative when he spoke and expected to be obeyed. Maybe the barista was kind of annoying and snubbish and like really rude. So that's what I'm going for, is that idea of what did these people feel like in terms of who they were and why they would show up in the dream, what they represent? to you.

I don't know how to ask it better. I hopefully I've rambled enough. You get an idea. I get an idea. And I think the best way that I can explain their archetypes of what they represent is by describing quickly the other dreams that I met them in. Sure. So the shortest, the easiest one is the guy.

With him, he was in his, we were in a dream. and we were in this like kind of other realm type of reality. And I came up, I was going up on an elevator. And when I went up on the elevator, it was a dolphin. And there was this, there were too many suits. There was a black man, not my friend. He was just a black man that I didn't know in the suit in time. and the white guy

the one that I'm telling you about he was in he was in a a blue like a baby blue suit with like a baby blue bowtie and like the ruffle shirt so and they were both standing in front of me

and the black guy was on the right and he was on the left that's that dream also I've seen him in another dream and he kind of he kind of represents like I don't know maybe I'm not trying to villainize white people, but he kind of represents this like a type of villainous And kind of with the, not the blonde hair girl, but the mixed girl. Because with that, with the mixed girl, I was in that dream, I was captured by them.

We were in this water world type round. And I got captured by them and thrown onto this boat. And I was on the boat with this guy who I had, was kind of, we were dating, we had dated for a little bit. And I, we kind of just like, you know, kind of got out. We're still trying to figure out our relationship, but we were for the most part seeing, like, it's probably over. And so he was on the, he was on the boat, but he was trying to, like, rescue me. and the girl Oh, and the blonde-haired blue-eyed guy was there too

And so the mixed girl And the blonde-haired blue-white guy Had kidnapped the Blonde-haired blue-eyed girl And she was like I don't know if she was like In a trance or mind-controlled or something But she was kind of like a

They were kind of treating her like she was a dog A living, like a living dog You know, like she she was there was nothing there basically she was alive but there was nothing there and so the guy that I was dating at the time

he had come to try and rescue me and we both wanted to rescue the girl so they kind of represented the girl kind of represents not an airhead blonde not no not that it's like a a program type person, a woman, girl.

Okay. That's what she kind of represent. And then the mixed girl and the blonde-haired guy kind of represented villains. Yeah. And that's kind of consistently how they represent themselves across multiple different dreams. They kind of show up with the same personalities and serving the same kind of roles. Okay. Good deal.

Yeah. No, that's very interesting, too. That's way more than we had before, and I think it's great, great ideas. What I started right now when you said program, the ideas that came to my head is someone who is, who doesn't think for themselves. They are, maybe don't have a strong will. They kind of go along to get along or they don't put a lot of thought into things. Like some people are necessarily stupid.

They're just not curious. So they don't gather a lot of information and then analyze it critically. Maybe, you know, the idea of a living doll is, yeah, you had programmed or they just go with, they're happy saying, well, what should my opinion be? Oh, that, okay, I'll do that. They just kind of, they're not really not really thinking for themselves, like a doll. Yeah, yeah. I like that.

And then you've got these other villain troops. So the way you've assigned them out there is that I guess maybe the, um, the doll followed the villain girl because she's just a follower. Like she does what the other girl does. Like, okay. And, and what they both did, or at least what one of them did, maybe more knowingly or willfully than the other is set a bad example for someone who followed them into the disaster. They rejected your insight into what was likely going to happen.

And we get, so there's, when I talk about being a wizard, this is very interesting too. There's a lot of metaphorical stuff that goes with it. And I don't think I really have the clairvoyance to see the future. I can't tell you what's going to happen tomorrow. I can't predict winning lottery numbers. It's not like that. But there is a wizardry, I think in the idea of cause and effect, understanding, seeing a pattern, and knowing how it's going to play out.

And that's what I think where the wizard archetype comes from is work backwards from, if you're an old man and you've been around for decades and you've seen a lot of shit and you've got a long gray beard and you're walking with the cane because, man, you old. That guy, maybe he knows cause and effect. He knows what, he knows the trouble you're going to get into. He's the guy that says, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I know where that goes and you don't want to go there. So anyway, long story short.

The Harbinger. Yeah, yeah. a herald in a way of uh but it's but it's that a lot of people don't the way i conceptualize it they don't see the scientific method as magic i do i because yeah i think we've we've wait before you say that go ahead go ahead the issue the issue is man is the one that separated science from the bible science has always been in in religion especially with the bible who do what do you how do you think moses erin turn stick turn into a serpent like the rest of the to the wise man that worked for Pharaoh.

Like, come on now, you know, and I'm, it's just, but yeah. Yeah. No, I think we're on the same page on that. And it's a conceptual problem with some people of like, they think of magic as everything outside of science. They think of it as claiming, what is it? Claiming powers that are contrary to nature.

But I don't see it that way. Like the scientific method, I'd say, is a refinement of magic, just as, Chemistry is in a refinement of alchemy. They were doing all these experiments to distill liquids. They were looking for a way to turn lead into gold. Turns out we can actually do that, but it takes a lot more energy, and it's not energy efficient.

So what's the point? You're not creating manner from heaven turning lead into gold. You're wasting resources to get something less valuable. When you get a chance, did you join the Mind Unveiled? Discord. I think I might have. I know you sent me that link. Let me look over here.

Is that one of my discords I'm on? On my end, I'm in a bunch. I'm in a bunch. I don't see it on here. I might have forgotten to, I might have forgotten to join it. Thank you for bringing my attention back to that. Okay.

I'm in too many discords as it is. I got kicked out, but they got a YouTube channel, you know. I can't keep my mouth closed about the, that one thing. You know, so that's why I got kicked out because they're even cracking down in discord about it. So we heard. So, um, yeah. Mm-hmm.

So, but when you get a chance, check out their YouTube channel. They go into, like, a lot of alchemy back in the day and different things like, you know, they have been hidden from us. Like, the, it's called the book, the Vaca Libra, the Book of the Cow. And they talk, in the Book of the Cow, they go into how you can take a cow's carcass or a cow and you have to kill it. and then you lock it up and you stop up all its holes and stuff and um in certain and it's got to be in a certain type of condition and it'll start growing um bees in the carcass. Yeah. So that's one of them and then they go into the cabbage patch kids like like like the thing about the old like cabbage patch and like the cards with the cabbage.

past children all. I remember the orphan trains and stuff. They go into all that. So when you get a chance, check it out. I think you're going to like it. Okay. Check that out. Well,

all of this to say, to bring it back around is that you don't have to be a prophet to tell or have magic powers to see a pattern and tell someone who doesn't see it. Hey, here's what I see. Now, let me correct you on that. Yeah. We're all magic. Well, fair enough.

Magic. Yeah, I'm saying magic powers. as in like what other people couldn't see. It's the movement of energy and that's what we do every day. Fair enough. Even every night. Yeah, no, I think we're on the same page as that. But it doesn't have to be anything beyond the realm.

Yeah, yeah. Like you don't like, what am I trying to conceptualize it as? If you came running to the house in real life and you said the house across the street is on fire, you're telling someone something they didn't know. That's all. But that is this communication of, let me tell you what I saw and give you information that you might need so we can do something about this problem. And that I think is, um, and the, I think the reason I thought of this as,

as bringing, like Moses bringing, bringing the tablets down is that in my mind, there's a, a very real literal sense of receiving a message from God when you discover a truth in the world. That like that discovery of truth, the truth is God and the discovery is a message from God, that kind of a thing. And it doesn't have to be as epic as the Ten Commandments. It can be in very small ways. And it's all the same kind of magic. Belim's ass, remember?

Do you remember that story about he's going to curse the children of Israel? And there's an angel right here. And now the mule can, the ass can see the angel standing right there with the sword. And so as they're going around the path around the, you know, the mountain, that the mule keeps bumping up against the mountain and his foot, Balim's foot, keep getting cursed up against the mountain wall. You know, he's getting mad.

He was like, stupid ass, you know, beating on her and stuff. And so the third time that happens, God opens the mouth of the donkey and lets her speak. And she's like, why do you keep beating me? I see this angel here getting ready. to hand us everything we don't want. And so I'm trying to get your attention to maybe if you could see it like I see,

stop you from going to kill both of us. Yeah, there you go. Exactly. So you're bringing this information. And now what we've got, so you come down from the attic headspace or up on high the mountain, but the place of receiving a truth that you then,

you could have decided to keep it to yourself and said, screw those guys. Let them go outside. I don't care. No, you decided I want to help people. I want to communicate what I learned for the benefit of others. And now you're in that situation. Okay, let's, let's imagine you say in your head, what happens when I go and I tell

these people? Well, shit, two of them are the villains from the, well, you didn't hold back and say, you know, hey, doll, the, the, the white girl. And, uh, why don't you come over here. I'll whisper it in your ear. And then you and me will just stay safe and screw these guys. You wanted to save everybody, even the villains from previous dreams. But, uh, one of them didn't listen to you.

And there's a very strong representation of how we communicate things to other people there as well. Some people aren't going to believe you. Some people will and some people won't. And then the ones that don't. Well, they both didn't listen to me. And then one of them wanted to, he felt like, and this is how I, because I've done this dream interpretation. It stayed for me, with me for well over 10 years, obviously. Oh, yeah.

So my little interpretation of it is he was trying to. put everything on his time, the one who waited, the villain that waited and waited and waited and waited and said, well, my time for this happening is up. I'm just going to go out into the world and I don't see anything happening. So what you said, even though you warned me about it, it must be a lie. And then he goes out and then what I say, that's going to happen and happen. And also, So there's some who, and I'm not going to be the devil's advocate here, but I'm going to put this out into the realm of thinking because I thought about this myself. There's some who say, well, if you had never told them about it,

would they have left out of the house to begin with? And I'm like, you know, and I understand that realm of thinking. But at the same time, it's like when you get messages like that, It's like fire shut up in your bones. You can't just keep it to yourself, even if you want to. You know, you've got to tell it because then, you know, whoever you were supposed to tell it to, they don't get the message. And then their blood wind up on your hands when, you know, if you had to tell them whatever decision and choice they made after that,

at least they had that knowledge, you know? Yep. I think that's very important. There's a certain kind of, what am I trying to say? Like narcissism or self-aggrandizing that comes with not sharing the truth with people because you think they can't handle it or you're trying to manipulate how their behavior goes. There's, yeah, see, not in the long because that's, and I think that's like,

how do we, how do we say to ourselves, I know better for this person. I know what they should or shouldn't hear in terms of, I'm going to hold back the truth and hope that that gets them to do what I want them to do. Sometimes it's going to turn out bad and people are going to not believe you. They're going to take your information and misunderstand it. They're going to believe you and do the wrong thing anyway. But taking it upon yourself, I think you're absolutely right. I wrote that down.

It's like, not telling is not good. The good thing to do is you lay your cards on the table and you say, look, this is what I believe. This is what I think is true. This is the warning I believe is genuine. And I hope you believe me. But you can't take that. It's like taking other people's power away to make that decision for them and trying to manipulate. Yeah, like the government does to us a lot of the time.

I'm just, I'm just saying you, you're, you're too, you people are too stupid. You're, you're dumb animals. You'll make all the wrong decisions. So we're just not going to tell you. And, uh, uh, hope that accomplishes what we want you to do. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not all about that for sure. So no, but you did what you needed to in your heart, which was, you know, if I believe I have a truth to speak, I'm going to tell these.

people and you showed this range of people who were um and there's probably some difference between the man and the woman uh the the the two black folks who were maybe different types of villains or different um what am i trying to say different types of of personalities i don't think it's just male and female half of the same thing i think he's one kind of thing and she's another kind of thing but definitely she in this dream she it turns out the She was the one who immediately said maybe I don't believe you or represents that idea of, well, what if I tell someone and they don't believe me? They don't take my word for it.

They disregard my warning. And they lead other people astray, too. Took that other girl with her, the one who doesn't know anybody, doesn't think for herself. Yeah. And then the man. Yeah. And then the man, he's got like, at least he sticks around in the first room, he sticks around for a little bit.

And he considers and you put that phrasing it as, on his own time. Like he, it wasn't that he actually believed you. He wasn't staying there because he thought it was true. But he also wasn't, he wasn't immediately going to react like the, like the girls did. He was going to do it in his own time.

And that was also more of him taking that, say, power onto himself. It was a different kind of disbelief. Where he's going to, now, he's going to go, like the first two, it seems like they didn't take the warning seriously at all. He took it seriously, but took it into, his own hands to say, well, I'll find out the truth myself. And he goes outside on purpose to go investigate and finds, oh, there it is. And then you still had this urge to save, to help. Maybe I can help him. Maybe I can bring him back in. Maybe I'll put myself at risk to take a chance. But he was,

he was already kind of melting and stuck to the ground. He'd, the consequences of his decision had already hit him. And now you, at that same point, you, you try to run back to the house and couldn't get back in because it was locked or closed or or you just like the door was stuck. Okay. I made it to the door, but it was like the door was stuck. And I don't, I didn't lock it or anything. And then the like, okay, so remember what I said about the door is changing in the second dream? Yeah.

The same thing happened in the first dream, but it happened on me to where it was, it changed from the patio door to the front door. And I couldn't open the front door. stuck. Okay. You know, so I couldn't. But the second dream, I couldn't, I looked outside of the patio door and I wanted to run out there and I couldn't because, well, the door changed and it changed into that same door that got stuck and that I couldn't get back into in the first drink. But instead, on the second dream, it's stuck with you on the inside versus the outside.

Right. Interesting. Yeah. So that's where I was getting to with that is that. So there was, what I was writing down here was that the, from a good heart from the place of wanting to rescue someone from the consequences of their own mistakes, you actually doomed yourself to follow them into that mistake in that process. So there is, there's things like that that happened in our life too where we try to, let's say, it's like the analogy is trying to save a drowning person and you both drown because they panic

and drag you down with them. There are people in our lives that they just drag us down with them. And the more we try to help, the further we go down with them. And sometimes you've got to just cut your losses and say, I did my best. I can't, I can't save everybody. And trying is just going to get me destroyed along with them. So there might be something in there. But, okay, so that actually kind of brings us to the end of that because that's where you woke up in the end of the first dream was, um, um, melting with the guy. Yeah, melting with him and suffering that, that, that, that the consequences with the guy that, that wouldn't listen.

Because you tried to save. I think that's the very, very important connection there. Then the second tree was identical up to the point of the girls leaving and the man being in the house. But this time he went out a different door. The door had changed. So he went out. He went out the same door and the range started. Okay.

Yeah. But what happened was the door changed before I got to the sliding door. Okay. And that's interesting too. So doors are portals, transition points. you go through a door and where you were is from where you were to where you are now in a lot of ways. And so you've got and sometimes doors and in our mind and in these conceptual spaces, we think of these, you know, portals as passing through to another location.

But also the idea of whether a door is open or closed. Like we think of, I wanted to do a thing, but that the window shut, the time frame when it was possible expired. or the door was, the way forward was barred. The door was locked. As in I cannot move there despite wishing to. There's some, literally a barrier that keeps me from progressing. So in this one, the door, he went out the same door.

So you're conceptualizing it differently. You're like, okay, imagine this guy. He doesn't listen. He's, he's taking himself down. And I have this urge to do so. But when I get to it, the door itself, the, the, you're not able to follow him out the same door. Like you've, you've, you've, you've, you've imagined that that way through is shut and barred and now it won't open. Like something is stopping you from making the same mistake twice

in a way. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good analogy. Yeah. Because the door, the, this, like I said, in the first dream, I was able to, to go out the double the glass door, but I wasn't able to get back into the front door. And the second dream, he went out the, the, glass, he went out the patio door, the glass door. And when I got to the door, it had already changed in the second, the second time I had to drink. Okay. And I couldn't get out of it. Yeah. And then it became the, the same front door that wouldn't open for you from the, from the first three. Yes. Now in reverse, stopping you from going out to, to reenact the same mistake that make the same mistake twice in that sense. Um, and being,

that's, it's very interesting too, because I'm like, you're, sometimes in our dreams, we show us what we wish would be or what we're afraid might be. And sometimes we have have sense in our dream that we're we wish for something to be. But then we show ourselves a barrier preventing it. And that can be this seems like one of those situations where you genuinely believe and you're trying to get out the door, but it's but but but but but it's shut against you, but it's you're, you're, you're not conceptualizing it as. It's exterior to you, it is, it is. But what am I trying to say?

It's like proposing, I consider, or I conceptualize dreams a lot as thought experiments. So you're running the same thought experiment twice with different variables. You're saying, okay, now let's imagine I deny myself the ability to follow what I think is the wrong path. What would happen next? Does that make, does that make more sense? Yes. Yeah, yeah. So it isn't like, it isn't like you're imagining, uh, um,

someone else locked the door to keep you in the house. It's more like you locked it to say, I'm not going to do the same thing twice. I'm going to take a different path and let's see what I think will follow that. And what followed it was up in the basement come these three African women in servant garbs, but like royal servants. And I don't know that I remember the specific interaction you had.

with them? No. They, when they came up, we looked at each other and I said, and then a pill of thunder woke me up. That's right. That's right. So do you have any strong or specific associations with the garb they were wearing or the people themselves, how they carried themselves, what you think they might represent? the color that really stood out for me

it's the it was like a purpleish blue type of yeah like a dream color if you would sure call it that yeah very go ahead I wanted to that I wanted to down my hair that color and it's called when I looked it up it's called because I want a half purple and half blue and it's called a galaxy dye okay interesting now was this

something you were aware of at the time or this is since then you've okay since that gotcha fair enough fair enough and yeah i mean uh why not right why not die your hair if you want to um what i was just thinking is like so he so we've got again the um the levels and what am i trying to say up isn't always good and down isn't always bad sometimes up and down are also both good and they can also both be bad so in this in this sense i don't think and and also based on the way you described it. I don't think they're coming out of hell. I don't think these are demons. And I think you would agree. But there's a, um, the attic was one source of information. That's where the bird

came and spoke to you. Now these women represent something else and they're coming from a different source. Uh, sometimes, you know, so also the, the basement that they came from was dark and the attic was like just to give that contact. Sure. Yeah, no, that that may be, uh, may be relevant to. sometimes we, let's see, Jungwood would say we're, let's see, how would he, I shouldn't say he would say, but he's proposed the ideas of there's a shadow side to us. And the shadow side is just whatever we don't express or feel uncomfortable expressing, it is the aggression inside the, passive person, so to speak. But by the same token, it can be the passiveness inside the aggressive person.

It's whatever we reject about ourselves based on our self-concept. This is a horrible explanation of the shadow. But what Jung says is that what we need to do is integrate our shadow side. So if we, you know, and that makes us a whole person more than anything because it's not like the shadow side isn't a part of us. It is. And it may be things we don't like about ourselves or we don't feel aligned with our self-concept, but it doesn't mean they aren't a part of us and it doesn't mean they aren't useful to us.

I would say the passive person who keeps their aggression in the shadow. It isn't like that aggression isn't influencing them. It always does. It's like the subconscious stuff we don't deal with is still influencing us. And what you want to do is integrate those two and you get from passive and aggressive to assertive. Like I know when to use confrontation and I know when to just keep my mouth shut. And that's like the judicious, wise blending of these two extremes.

Okay. Long story short on that one. there is maybe a source of wisdom or understanding or intuition that you would conceive of as light and a source you would conceive of as dark. And I think that makes a tremendous amount of sense, too, where in the second dream, the women who come to speak with you come from the shadow. They come from the dark side. And this is how you're conceiving maybe your dark side, which is I,

you tell me if this is true or not. If we were to say you conceive of yourself as the kind of person who wants to help, others to the point that you might let them drag you down with them with you because you feel that is the right thing to do to keep trying no matter what the shadow side of you might say for your own good for your own sense of for your own self-protection to not allow yourself to be dragged down and destroyed by by following someone into a bad decision you look at that as isn't that selfish am I failing is that who I really am so I don't know what why these women to me represent a kind of noble wisdom in a way.

Like they're, there's, their servants, they're not, you know, kings or queens. They, they serve the kings and queens.

They serve a higher purpose in, in that sense. And they're dressed very well. And they're, and I would imagine they probably have a very, I'm going to say, stately vibe to them, like,

like a very professional seriousness in their servitude. Like a very, very, very often, um, people conceive of, of, butlers is, I mean, in America especially, we have a concept of, well, if you're serving someone,

that means you're lesser and you're worthy of less respect. It's a very specific role. I mean, Bruce, Bruce Wayne had his, his, his, his, his, his, his butler, and he was, that was his man, you know, and it was a guy that was really dedicated. We, we've lost the idea of, of, like, a samurai in, in, in service to his, his lord as being a noble thing. So anyway, this is the concept of these women that I've got. They are noble, royal servants. And they're, they're kind of coming to you to say in this place of protecting yourself, not letting yourself be victimized by having someone drag you down with there is, there is nobility and wisdom in this as well. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to something you can, you can protect yourself. And this is also okay.

All of that to say, I think, do you like that that idea of the integration of the shadow that that's where these women are coming from and that it's a legit part of you looking at yourself saying, I can look out for number one. that's okay too. Does that make sense? Yeah. It makes a whole lot of sense because when I was a child, when I was three years old and when I was parentified. Yeah. Because the person who was supposed to be the custodial care of the household, of the dependents, would leave for like days. Oh, wow. Yeah. Just gone. Or she would, she, she would be there. and she was very narcissistic. She would cause my grandmother to her mother. She hated her.

She would cause her to go into a epileptic coma or epileptic seizure because she would be angry at her, just angry. And so I would always have to call 911 after this both the dependents my grandmother and my oldest cousin who had the she was developmentally disabled

and she was like 20 with the mind of a two year old they both had would suffer from grandma seizures and so I would always be the one calling you know the authorities and saving their lives through that And one time I remember that the aunts hurt my grandmother's daughter. She had done the thing where she makes my grandmother so angry that she gets,

she goes, gets so emotional that her body resets and she goes into the epileptic seizure. Wow. And she took the phone off the hook from where, because it was a, it was a corded phone, but they had a long, long court. And so she took it downstairs with her and she closed the door and she locked the door. So I couldn't make the phone call. But she left her keys to her two-door little coop car. So I took the keys. I'm three years old. I took the keys. And I took the keys. And I took the keys. And I took the keys. And I took the keys. And I took. took my grandmother and I put her in the car and I stopped the car, I can't see over the wheel or anything, but I remember there's a hospital not too far

from us and so I did my best to try and get it to the hospital I don't even think we left the block but it caused, you know, what I did cause enough attention to come to like, hey, these people probably need help and so

she did get saved from that. And so, that being said, my sense of self-preservation, I didn't have one because it never got to be cultivated because of, you know, the childhood I had and the, you know, the people around me who, you know, didn't help me cultivate that. self-preservation and that, you know, I matter just as well as me trying to help somebody else matters. Exactly. And I need to recognize, you know, when I can help people and when it's beyond my ability to help people, you know.

Yeah. That's really tough sometimes. Yeah. What you're explaining to is a very, you know, just, and this is where I bring the psychology to, like everything you're telling me, I'm like, yep, that's exactly how it works. The idea of these trauma in our life forming our personality as we go. Now we got our kind of personality, but then it's also modifiable by our, by our experiences.

So I would say probably your baseline personalities. Well, you just care about people. You like people to be happy. You want them to be successful and thriving. And that's all a core part. And now, then the trauma we go through, or if we don't, it gets expressed different ways. So it seems like there's a circumstance where you're looking at your life, like, man, I was not taking care of the way I should have been. So I'm not going to let that happen to the people around me.

I'm going to take care of them really well. and in some ways may be too well, to your own self-d detriment. And that's one way to go. Now, if you'd had maybe a little bit different baseline personality or more intense, what I'd say, it's a miracle you came through, your trauma with an enhancement towards caretaking versus the other direction, which a lot of people go is into that narcissistic, sociopathic side. Well, nobody gave a shit about me.

I don't give a shit about nobody and fuck them. And I'm looking at it. I'm looking at it. Yeah. It's a thing because both sides of my family have that trauma issue. And a lot of them on both sides had that trauma response because things happened to my aunt that I was telling you about who that's how she and I don't know why she agreed to be a caretaker, a woman that she hated because she felt like she wasn't there to, you know, care for her. And then, you know, on my mom's side of the family, my mom was the one who, she went through the same thing. But she got that same, because of her mother, parentifying her, she came, she was always the one. She was the oldest. And her mother went through things.

So it's a, you know, there's generational trauma there. Yeah. So. Yeah. Exactly right. That's what I'm working on. Yeah. Sometimes you get that enabling type of thing where the role you undertake in a family is keeping unstable people from tipping over too far into catastrophe.

And for their own sake, because you love them and you don't want them to just destroy themselves despite all their flaws. But also because maybe they're going to take some other people with them too. And that includes people you really care about. And so sometimes, you know, or people you care about more. Yeah. So if it makes sense, I think we've got a little bit of an understanding or one perspective of looking at this dream is you hit. a time in your life when you're looking at caretaking ending for you like I'm about to be out on my own now how do I engage the world successfully and you're looking at this situation of do I

continue do I lean into a bit of a bit of a savior role or is it okay to to take care of myself more what what is what do I think is the right way to move forward to approach the world and and how I engage it um which is a big deal that a lot of kids have to settle for themselves as they move out of the house. You're getting out from under a rigid set of rules where other people tell you how to live and what you're going to do and they have the authority to force it if they if if if if they must now I'm responsible for myself. I can do anything. What do I want? Who am I out from underneath parental control or guardianship? It's I think it's a pretty much a normal what I wouldn't say the the concept. The

the idea that we all go through that same portal into adulthood is is universal to to all except kids who maybe never move out of the house. I don't know what to do with them. And how do they grow up differently? We used to have multi-generational homes more, which I'm not trying to denigrate that. No, actually a multi-generational homes is what we basically, you know, what basically made society, you know, up until a certain point of we all became an individualistic society, you know, which is probably for the reason why we're breaking down in the first place, you know.

But, you know, it's, you know, those children who, you know, never leave, it's like they, they become infantilized adults, unfortunately. Yeah. And we don't have a good cultural matrix or understanding for how to be a grown-ass adult in your parents' home still in an intergeneration. I think we've lost that. Like you were saying, it used to be more common. Like, people knew what it was and how to deal with it.

And there was, you know, matriarchs and patriarchs in the house. And you looked up to them, but they weren't ruling everything with an iron fist. Like you were still a child. There was a dynamic because they under, they, they, they would respect that you were an adult in their, in their household. And respect that you had to make your own choices and mature on your own. And probably expect you to. contribute too so that you know you're more on an equal equal footing yeah yeah yeah you're not just dependent anymore yeah right but um to for us who uh had to grow up and then we're just

kind of pushed out there uh i think you know um well first off the ones who had you know that that that structure at home they you know they got the chance to to to explore who are who are who are they were. They didn't, it wasn't, that, that energy wasn't relegated to somebody else all the time. So, you know, so they, when they come out of that house, they know, you know, well, I know this about myself, I relatively know who I am. What else can I learn about myself? They're not coming out and saying, oh my God, I don't have any identity. I, I'm an imposter. Who am I? Where do I come from? I don't understand anything. I need help, you know. So, yeah.

And then there's the neuronal structure because a lot of us you know trauma kids we come out and our neuronal structure and our brain is totally different from everybody else on society and we don't mean for it

to be like that. It's just you know the environment that we were brought up in that you know structured our you know behaviors and our development of our you know brains, you know, how it is, you know?

And so we respond to everything differently on a different level because of that. No, it's very true. Yeah. There's a concept out there, and I've been reminded of it recently called the zone of proximal development. I wish I could say I'd remembered that from school 20 years ago, but the idea is you want someone who's gaining new skills to get into a zone where they're pushing the limits of what they've already mastered into what they're capable of accomplishing without tipping

over into complete catastrophic failure. And that's, I think, what happens a lot with the trauma thing is you have, and with the neural structure, too, is what you're talking about. We've got kids that are faced with situations that are way beyond that zone of proximal development. We're not giving them a challenge they can overcome and push that bar. We're tipping them over the air. edge into, you know, breaking them repeatedly over and over again. And so that those pathways in the

brain that show I am competent. I can be confident. I have these skill sets. I know how to ride the edge between what I already know and what I need to learn. That it can take years to put back together to kind of figure out what's going on with you and in your life and how to ride that line, how to find that zone to continue to grow. And some people never figure it out. They just live in they bounce from basically one catastrophe to another because that's all they've ever known and they don't know how to find that balance so I'm I'm just really happy for you that you're you know that it's after all you've been through it seems like you still got a good heart you know and you care about people and you're trying to you know you're still

dedicated to finding your way in the world and making good decisions which not everyone who's been through what you've been through comes out of it with that ability intact so it's you know I really feel good for you that that's still a part of you. Thank you. Yeah. I work hard. I work hard because even, well, you know, so there's a childhood trauma and then you're growing to adult. There's no more trauma.

No, there's more trauma. Yeah, every day. This is a different trauma. Yeah. Large and small. You know, you stub your toe. Very small, literally trauma, but very small. It's annoying.

It's painful, but it's not losing a limb. You know, there's degrees to this stuff. But still, no, it does not stop. That is the human condition, right? Lots of dramatic things. Yeah, I know. But hopefully not so much that it, that it breaks us. That's the key.

It's like, it's not that you can't safety proof the world, but you also don't want to just throw caution to the wind and say, good luck, kid, and let a toddler run off into the woods. Bad idea. And people should, people should know, you know. Well, we're heading up around three hour mark. I don't know if you had additional questions about the dream you wanted to focus on. Or you said earlier you had some questions for me in general. I don't know if we addressed some of that stuff or if you, if you've, forgot what it was.

Yeah, we actually, we can't, yeah, we kind of did because, you know, so, you know, I found out you're more agnostic and instead of being atheist, you know, so it's, yeah, that's good. I'm kind of on, I'm kind of on that edge of things. I consider myself, I say it, an agnostic atheist deist, kind of tacked onto the end there. So I don't, I don't have a specific religious tradition I follow, but I'm not too certain there isn't one that might be true.

And I think there's probably a God that. made the world and everything we're living in here, but I'm not so sure I know who on earth can tell me what that guy is or what he wants from me. I'm in that very limbo land where I'm looking at all the big picture stuff, but there's still, even with that said, there's a through line where I know I don't like to watch innocent people suffer. So I think that is the spirit of God right there. I'm comfortable calling that the spirit of God is. And as long as I'm looking for things that jive with that. I think I'm on the right path. I hope anyway. I think so, too. Yeah, definitely. You have, that gives you a baseline of like the difference

between good and evil. Yeah. So, you know, because you got people, you've got people out here that are trying, you know, and I, you know, this is, it's so funny because I, um, yesterday, I'm on the news breakup and, uh, I, I comment on there a lot. And so they were talking about how conservatives are, you know, putting Christian values before anybody else's. And I'm like, you know, so somebody commented about, because I commented about, like, you know, the Bible and how, you know, like, certain entities and organizations and sexual, like, or not. sex, but certain parts of people in different parts of life are taking the Bible and twisting the words. So I posted, because the Bible talks about, you know, sexual immorality, and I know this is a touchy subject. But, you know, and so, you know, they talk about the

Old Testament, yada, yada, yada, and they don't talk about how, you know, in the New Testament, the Bible addresses that issue as well. So I posted there Romans 1 And when you get a chance, you go read Romans 1 And you tell me if Romans 1 is like basically an exact replica What's going on right now? The whole chapter.

Yeah. It's short. It's short. It's about, what, 23, 24 verses. So after I posted that, this person comes back and they tell me, well, if that's the case, then all I can say is that the Bible is evil and it's an evil concept and it's an evil book and nobody should ever read it.

And I come back and I ask her, well, if that's the case, do you know, do you think you would know the difference between good and evil if the Bible hadn't existed? And there's a verse in the Bible that talks about how Paul, Paul says that he wouldn't know sin if the truth of the word wasn't presented to him so he would know what sin was. was. And so I asked her, do you know, do you think you would know the difference between good and evil? Because before the Bible became a worldwide thing, a human sacrifice was seen as a good thing to do, you know, I said everywhere. You know, it's like, you know, and cannibalism. Everybody was, you know, and y'all were good. Everybody was good with this. It was seen, it was good, you know? So,

are you sure you would know the difference between you? They didn't answer me, of course. But, you know, I had to ask that question because it's like, you know, people like to attribute that, you know, oh, we know these good things to do and yada, yada, yada, I'm like, before the Bible was brought to you, you was literally cutting out human hearts to try and give to your agricultural god to have a bountiful harvest. Come on now. No, that's the thing. You know. That happened. Yeah. You know. And that's tough, too, because we get a lot of people who are like, well, I'm.

I reject religion, or I think it is, let's say, let's say they're rational and they're like, I just don't see any evidence for a God. Fair enough. But then they go a step further and say, okay, and we have to throw out everything that's in the Bible. And the way I'm looking at is like, even if I don't, even if I am not a Christian specifically, and I think I'm a good mediator between these two positions, too, so I'm not specifically a Christian. But I look at the Bible and I see stories that speak to real. patterns of human behavior.

And where there is truth, I don't care where it comes from. I'm going to say, yeah, that's true. And I'm going to look over here with the Buddhists. That's true. I'm going to look over here with the Torah and say, the Jews are right about that. And wherever there's truth, I can reasonably verify,

I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I'm not going to say, you know, and that is, and some people don't like that said about the Bible specifically. It's like, you know, it's all baby. None of it is bathwater. I'm like, fair enough. Maybe from your perspective it is.

I'm not sure it isn't. I'm just saying I'm not convinced, but certainly we don't want to throw out the whole Bible. If there's a little bit here, a little bit there, and maybe a lot more than people realize, I've been watching over the last few years a lot more biblical commentary from the evolutionary psychology perspective. So I think at the very least, we should look at the Bible as a collection of stories that contain valuable insights into the human condition itself. here's certainly as I say here's patterns we're going to encounter by virtue of being human and over and over again throughout generations of humans I think that's what we collected as that

as that book and I would not want anyone to just dismiss it entirely when there's anything in there that might be useful that we should probably pay attention to that's what's kind of my perspective on it yeah yeah also right quick um mandela effect i call it as existential working oh yeah yeah i've i've run across a few of those things that i don't know how to explain uh yeah and i think that i think i might have come as as the kids say i might have come from a timeline where it was the opposite mandela and now i'm here there's people who say like you know in 2016 or whatever we switched timelines and that okay here's i had this thought

I was thinking about this the other day. I love this. So people go, he's very rational and scientific. Yeah, but I love that Spooky Woo. So there was the idea of people going to the doctor and saying, Doc, I feel like I'm not supposed to have this leg. I feel like this leg should be amputated. I'm wondering if at the moment of an accident,

the wrong person switched timelines and the guy, and he's over here with the whole leg when he was meant to be in the other timeline where the accident lost the leg. So now he's left with this residual feeling over here in this. timeline where yeah he don't have a leg but he does but he shouldn't but there it is and he wants cut off now we can look at it that way where we can say that's a psychological distortion caused by a brain defect and maybe we can treat it with medicine rather than cutting off the guy's leg I would like to maybe not cut off healthy legs if there's any way to avoid that but that struck me

the other day of like okay if we accept the multiple parallel universe thing, which is probably true. As far as I can tell, there's no reason that couldn't be true. And can we move between them? Maybe I don't know how. But if we go with that, if we start with that premise, it's logical to say, the guy that thinks he should have been an amputee, he was an amputee in a different universe.

And now he's here. And that's where, to me, that's where a phantom limb pain comes in as well. That could also be connected, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In another timeline, they actually still do have that limb. And so that in that timeline, they can feel that, you know what I'm saying? The neurons connect.

You can't understand it. You know what I'm saying? How does it work? Yeah. We don't know, but it's there, you know? It's a, that is an actual issue. People have literally deal with, like, you know, they don't feel, they know the arm ain't there, but they still feel the arm there and it still hurt.

Yeah. They can't hurt. It's not there. And they have an explanation for it, which is, well, the nerve endings are sensitive from the amputation site, and it's sending these false. signals. Maybe that's true. I don't know. But is, do we know that for sure? I don't think we do. Also, well, and how, how are those nerve endings still sensitive 10 years down the mind after everything still, you know? And nerves need a signal to activate. What is, what is down here on this

end activating the signal, sending it back up? I don't get that at all. Right. I don't know. I don't think anyone does. Well, and also, now people like to separate, well, that's the supernatural spooky one. This is hard science. You talk to some hard scientists and they talk about quantum entanglement going between multiple universes. This is not such a far-fetched theory. Is it all speculation? Yes. Yes.

We're not sure about any of this stuff. But I like the idea of what if. I love that. I love that. Right. Yeah, yeah. And for me, we all, there's a, if I don't know if you watch this video, I'm probably going to send it to you later on this.

Sure, sure. There's a, back in 2015, I believe, there's a child that said we all died in 2012. And when you ask him what killed us, he'll tell you that it was a certain hydrogen collider. They called something to happen that ended the world. And I, you know, I'm with that speculation because, you know, if you look up with, there's paranoid times. I'm going to send you his channel. He talks about, like, he does stories that are supposed to be, you know,

you don't know if they're real, you don't know if they're not real. but he talks about how he was the one who sent the ermine into which is a type of weasel into the hydrogen collider to stop it in the ermine because they used the weasels to clean those tunnels out because nobody they can't get into those places and stuff like that but the weasel can't so yeah so um he sent the weasel in there and caused an explosion and it stopped it's supposed stopped the issue, the thing that caused us to die in 2012. And so there's a whole paradox there. Yeah, it's a lot to go on.

And for me, for me, there's three main earths. And like, there's that things are happening on. You know what I'm saying for me? And like, because I can, some say, somebody says, okay, so do you remember this or do you remember that? and I'm like, um, or do you remember this, this or that? And I'm like, I remember all three. So, right. So yeah.

And there may be some of us where the, let's see, if we imagine an infinite number of multiple universes, in some of them, there are multiple instances of you sitting right where you are talking to multiple instances of me and we're all saying slightly different things. But in some of them, there's a little bit of an overlap maybe. and you are experiencing all three alternate selves at the same time for moments here and there. Now, again, pure speculation. I don't know, but it's as good as a lot of the other explanations we pull out of our

ass for things. I mean, we don't even know. You mentioned like Schenny earlier in the idea of hearing voices and the biological mechanism we think is happening is that the auditory processing center of the brain, well, we know it is lighting up on its own when there's no auditory stimuli coming in. Right. Now, we can describe that phenomenon. And we can say, here's what it looks like on a functional MRI resonance machine, you know,

but they still don't know why it happens. We have no idea what it is or where it's coming from. So it's as good of an explanation to say, maybe you're hearing other people speak to an alternate self in this, in this universe. Who knows? Now, that doesn't mean it's not disruptive to your life. If you're having the equivalent of demons screaming at you 24-7 and you can't get to the store to buy milk, that's a problem. We still have to deal with that.

Yeah, yeah. I'm grateful, you know, that's another reason why I believe how I believe, because, you know, I definitely have done, you know, battles with demons. And that's a legit way to conceptualize it, yeah. Yeah, so, you know, I don't have that issue, but other, like, I have, like, I have voices telling me I'm stupid or, you know, different things like that, you know. So they don't tell me to kill myself because they know that ain't going to work. But, you know, anything, they try and keep me down, they do that. But, you know, I'm working on not letting it bother me. That's why I'm so deep into the Bible and belief.

Because it has helped me a lot with, you know, the schizophrenia and different things like that. Also, my mom, she deals with schizophrenia too. And I believe that's the same reason she also believes because, of what she's been through and what she's experienced, you know, and how she feels like her belief in her faith to save her. So, yeah. By the way,

is any of this stuff you want to cut out, or you're not? Sure. Sure. Fair enough. That's like, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, you know, honestly, this is a great way for me to say to people out there as well. So I will talk to anyone. I'm not, I'm not going to say, oh, you say you've, heard voices throughout your life, therefore, or you have a diagnosis so you don't get to have a dream experience with me. I'm not like that. I'll talk to anybody about anything. And I'll take it seriously and I'll meet you where you're at and work with your storytelling style and your

your personal, tailor it to your personal history of how these, these elements might connect. And I, and I appreciate people being, you know, number one, I don't want to expose someone that doesn't want to be exposed. And also, I don't think you should be ashamed of anything. So, it's completely up to you to say you want this personal information shared or you don't. So I always give people that choice. So it's a good thing. I wanted to, you know, and if you said, yeah, cut it. I mean, no one would ever see this.

I would even, you know, cut out all me asking the question. So, but that's good too. Yeah. So folks know that this is all on the up and up. Yeah, definitely. Sure. You know, I want to be open. I want to be honest, you know.

And anything that I've said in this, you know, live that we, in this. It's a big video share we've done that can help somebody else, you know. You know, if you can help them. I think that's a big deal, too, is just showing, saying, hey, I've got this diagnosis. And yeah, you're just a regular person. Maybe you've got some problems that other people don't, but you're not a bad person. It hasn't destroyed you. It's not, you know, I think it's, there's a, there's a concept out there, like normalizing.

I don't think that's what we're doing exactly. We're just showing that it is normal. We're not trying to make something abnormal. will become normal. No, this is normal. This is the range of human experience. And, you know, I typically look at these kind of things as like, well, what's, what's the problem with the symptoms?

If you're having specific problems and you need those to be addressed or fixed in some way, we do that. That's, in my opinion, that's the only thing that matters is like someone who has, say, depression. I've had depression before I've been treated for it on medication, that kind of stuff, and anxiety. There's nothing wrong with these things necessarily. It's a matter of degree.

but also once you're able to address it or cope with it or take medication for it in some way and then the problems in your life become more manageable. Success. That's it. And it's just normal. It's just part of the range of normal human experience. So, yeah. Yeah.

I think it's a good message for people to have too. Well, I wish I had more time for you. It's fascinating talking to. We'll do it again. I do need to kind of roll on with, I've got to go buy some wood at the store. I got a guy working on a fence and all that kind of stuff. I got to get on with some other tasks, but you feel ready to wrap it up? All right.

Sounds good. Well, then let me do this. I will say once again, this has been our friend Yona, Yonita, from Illinois, one of my Twitter mutuals. And if you know me on social media out there, please don't hesitate to ask. I'd love to talk to you. For my part, would you kindly like, share, subscribe, tell your friends, always need more volunteer dreamers, viewers for the game streams. 16, currently available works of historical dream literature, the most recent dreams in their meanings by Horace G. Hutchinson,

all this and more at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, where you will also find MP3 versions of these interviews. So, like when this one goes up, there'll be a podcast you can download and take to the gym with you. Take the wizard with you wherever you wonder, as I say. I like alliteration. Also, Benjamin the Dream Wizard. Dot locals.com.

That's where I'm trying to build a little community, take sustaining donations. Also, that's where you'll find the latest recipe for the themed cocktail for whatever game I'm playing lately. You said that's on locals? Locals, yep, Benjamin the Dream Wizard. Dot locals.com. Yeah, it's great. I like that. They've got a more dedication to free speech and whatnot of, like, being less attached to Rumble, so less censorship and whatnot.

It's a more stable place than, like, Patreon. People get canceled on there all the time. I don't like that. Yeah. I want people to say whatever's on the same. their mind. Whatever you believe, I don't care. You can say it. And, you know, maybe some people I'm not going to listen to because I don't agree with them, but that's fine. And, uh, yeah, that's the end of the show. Yona, thank you for being here. Appreciate your time. Oh, thank you for having me. I love being here.

Appreciate it. Little fur babies and everything. Oh, yeah, love him. And here's, I got to take this boy out again, too. He's ready. He's sniffing for a place to pee. Okay. And I'll just say, for everybody out there, thanks for listening.