Dreamscapes Podcasts - Dreamscapes Episode 170: An Embarrassment of Riches

Episode Date: July 19, 2024

Milena Dalinaros ~ https://www.milenadalinaros.com/

Greetings friends and welcome back to another episode of Dreamscapes. Today we have guest dreamer Malena Dallinaros from Stockholm, Sweden. You know I love to talk to an international audience and we're going to get right back. Oh, she is a author and coach. You can find her at melena dalaiaros.com link in the description. Right back to her in two seconds. For my part, would you kindly like, share, subscribe, tell your friends. Always need more volunteer dreamers from around the world.

I will talk to you no matter where you are. If you speak English, I'm sorry. That's the only language I know. so we got to do it that way. If you'd like to support my work, you may do so by purchasing one of 17 currently available works of historical dream literature. I think I'm going to try something new this time, and I'm going to remember to do this. I've been plugging book 17 for the longest time.

Let's go back and go cycle through the other ones. Book one, what was the first book I released back in, I think it was early 2020. It was called, whoa, what was it called? I wasn't prepared for this. this was entirely entirely off the cuff. It is the Court of Curiosity, which is the letter of a 17th century French knight to a noble woman explaining to her

his understanding of dream interpretation at the time with what they knew. Fascinating historical work. I love that. It is not, shall we say, politically correct for the modern audience, because this is what they believed in the 1700s, and they spoke like it.

So expect to get a, genuine historical artifact, lovingly reproduced, recreated, and enhanced, if I may say so myself. Where to go from there? Oh, also if you'd head on over to Benjamin the Dreamwizard.com, that's where you can find the books. Also downloadable MP3 versions of this very podcast, audio only that you can take with you wherever you wander, with or without Wi-Fi. And if you'd head on over to Benjaminthreatwizard.locals.com, building a community there. It's free to join attached to my Rumble account. That's enough out of me.

Back to Melaina, thank you for being here. Thank you so much, Benjamin, for having me here. Those intros get longer and longer. And the guest just has to kind of stare at the camera. But just so you know, while that was happening, I put up graphics. So no one's just staring at you being bored. Anyway, and we've got, we're going to let the cat sleep on the nose. I don't think I'm going to need to take any notes because in the very beginning of the show, I just talked to people and say, what's up with being an author and a coach? And you mentioned a website. So as you're saying, I'll give you a little bit of a intro from what you've said. You said you're working on a book. But then in that process, you thought about the structure of writing itself and the process of writing a book and the process of writing a book and that brought you to the idea of creating a website that was geared towards that process.

And maybe you can say a little bit about that. Absolutely. So I'm writing a book about charisma. And this book will benefit from readers or rather potential readers having a chance to come with their input so that I can incorporate that input and those wishes, if you wish, into the book. Now, while I'm still writing it, while there is still a possibility to make. those adjustments so that this book not only becomes the book of my dreams but also the book of the dreams of my potential readers and that way it feels for me that I'm making it more valuable and more meaningful. So the general subject matter of the book is the concept of charisma?

Yes, it is both the concept, the different theoretical grounds that I, I, I've taken from, for example, psychology, rhetoric. I also, like you, have a background in psychology. And then I was teaching interpersonal relationships, conversation techniques, witness interrogation, things like that, to military professionals. And when I was doing that, I noticed how important things such as rapport and presence, authenticity,

and genuine connection, how important these things are to actually establish what you need to build the kind of relationships that are the most beneficial to cooperate in those kinds of environments and situations. And charisma plays a really big part in that. So this is something I've probably been fascinated in all my life, but I became more and more aware of it and been able to put words on everything as my journey has progressed. and especially through those experiences. Yeah, definitely.

My brain loves a puzzle like that, which is why I kind of do the dream thing. It's like, okay, so we have a gut sense of, oh, that guy's got charisma. Okay, but what is that? What am I really looking at here? What is it that he's actually doing? And so, you know, just speaking of,

then you've got to, okay, define what is charisma? And then what are the behavioral traits and what are the emotions associated with it on both, both ends of the communication process. And my brain goes to... That's what makes it so interesting. I would love to hear your interpretation before I say the definition that I've chosen to work on. Sure.

Well, I don't know that I'm going to offer one specifically, but I just to share my experience of it. I think... So I call myself a wizard. And I have a very specific meaning to that. It's like, I don't throw fireballs D&D style. That's not what it's all about. but the archetype of the wizard, the older, wiser. I mean, that's where we get wizard from, from wisdom, that idea.

You speak magic words. Maybe you've got some true information or recommendations or perspective to share. You got maybe some gray hairs because you've been around for a while. You've seen some things. You can kind of predict the future because you understand cause and effect. And there's all kinds of things like where, and then that became incorporated into fantasy. of like, let's make, let's go the next step and make it just a fantastical type of creature that, you know, and then we get Gandalf and the Harry Potter series and all this different stuff. And that's, I love playing with that. So that's what I mean by wizard. But I'm also trying to break down. Okay, what are the different types of wizards? Like, so I'm a dream wizard. And that's me saying my wizardry is pretty much restricted to this specialty. You start asking me things about mechanical engineering, rocket science, heart surgery. I don't know. I don't know about any of that stuff.

So there are some wizards all over the place, I think. If you know where to look, people are really good at what they do. And it's something I aspire to. Look at me, let's say, oh, like me, we're really good at what they do. But there's, okay, so all of that to say, there's a concept I'm working with trying to break down the different kinds of wizards. And one that I landed on solidly was the idea of a necromancer. and what is a necromancer do they like raise the bodies of the dead to make them their

unwilling minions you know and uh that conceptually can also be like a cult cult leader with charisma who treats other people like they are empty vessels for his own will to enact be enacted in the world um but then there's other other types in my estimation this is all Another book I'm working on speaking of books. I've got like six of them up in here that that might happen, might not. We'll see a wizard's guide to wizards, that kind of thing. I'm talking a lot, but getting out of the point, there's also people who say, so necromancer would be almost exclusively an evil wizard.

I mean, there's good and evil. There's, it's a neutral power. You can, like a gun. You can use it to murder or defend life. But there's also, say, illusionists. in classic D&D style. And I would think of those as like actors. They're very good at making you, making it appear that they are someone else doing something that's

that never happened. And then we appreciate that of great actors, you know. And a lot of that would have to do with charisma. And there was another one. It was illusionists. And maybe that's what I was just trying to get around to. So it's wrapped up in those ideas. And charisma works, you know, for good or real would be the necromancer or the illusionist.

You know, we would say it's good when it's put to positive use and bad, of course, when it's put to negative use to control other people. So I'll stop there, and you have your comments. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm so fascinated with your interpretations and those examples. So Necrumancer, I would probably also agree with you about the cult leader being in more like that sort of category. And another one that I thought of as maybe not an evil use of charisma, but just an amateur use of charisma would be the narcissistic seduction, pickup artist, red pill kind of thing. Because that simply means that a person thinks he or she needs to get down to the level of tricks

and fooling others and trying to lure others in with these techniques. and that's what they need to be able to have these people in their lives and have their respect and admiration and maybe love and a loyalty and that without all of this use of manipulation, they would not get those things and they would not have these people in their lives. And with the charisma that I want to encourage in people is the charisma where they are connected to life itself and where they are mimicking natural states of life,

what it means to be alive and mirror what life is and does and how it acts. And that being said, it means that these are people who choose to live in expansion. They go after their natural joys, curiosities, and passions, so that those things helps them to grow and evolve into the next levels of life and life expression. They also express themselves and they express the authentic and true versions of themselves, not some manufactured artificial version of them because they think that that is what society expects of them, but actually who they want to be. And the importance of this lies in that is how we also attract the people we really want to have in our lives. And we really want to have in our

lives and we filter out the people who we do not want to have in our lives. So through this process, we are able to create genuine and loving communities rather than luring people into thinking that they love something that is actually just an image that can be, you know, come to the surface of being false at any moment. Here you are true. Here everybody is true. in this community because they genuinely care and love each other. So that is more the charisma that I want to encourage and that I'm leaning towards.

But of course, like you said, this is something that can be used in the way that the person who elevates these qualities within themselves chooses to use it. And here it comes down to personal ethics. If somebody chooses to use it for manipulation, maybe it will work for a while, but soon enough they will realize that that is a sure way of belonging the time that it's going to take for them to heal whatever injuries and wounds they have that needs, that need to be healed. And the sooner they start to become true to themselves and try to find ways to start loving themselves for who they are inside, the sooner they can heal and the sooner they will find the right

people for them. Definitely, yeah. That's so many great ideas. the first thing that struck me was the idea of that superficial veneer of something good that just kind of papers over nothing very often it's very thin it's nothing stable they just fall right through it if you try and try and walk on it in a way in that mental image but then also the the thin veneer that's often put over because it's what people think others want to see and there's no deeper like you get beyond that and it's just a mess or

it's ugly underneath there. You know, it's like a very pretty house inside. Everyone's arguing and hurting each other physically or emotionally. And it's like, sure looks nice. And when they go to, you know, go to church on Sunday, they all smile and dress pretty. But then it's just not, you know, and it's, that brought to mind also the concept. I think it was Carl Rogers with the humanist psychologist. He said, you know, it's two things that are required for successful therapy.

and maybe not just two, but two very, very basic things. One is genuineness and the other is unconditional positive regard. So first of all, he's got to be yourself. Don't be, don't be fake. I mean, I think there's a pop culture understanding of, oh, that person's fake. And it's understood to be a bad thing. It's like, then there's also how to parse keeping it real with an excuse for being an asshole. Like, I'm just telling the truth.

Kind of. but also you're kind of being a dick. You know, there's ways to tell the truth. You could say, damn, you ugly. You could say, you know, maybe if you wore a different outfit, it would compliment your curves. But, yeah, you know, that's, yeah, it's how I'm trying to be nice. That kind of a thing, you know. Or me, it's, you can say, God, what a fat ass.

Ben, it's not healthy to be that size. I know, I know. It's true. It's true. One way I'm going to go, you're right. And the other way I'm going to go block on Twitter, you know, that kind of thing. absolutely but then

yeah and charisma and authenticity have so much to do with integrity as well and dignity so integrity when it comes to well yes keeping it real are great things

but not if you start sharing things that are too intimate and become too vulnerable to anyone to use your secrets your deepest dreams and desires against you you never know You don't need to assume that you can trust everybody to treat you with respect and respect your dreams, desires,

and things that might make you feel vulnerable or truly become vulnerable to somebody to misuse you. You're not obliged to tell anybody anything that you don't feel comfortable sharing. And that is really important to remember when you set out to grow your authenticity or charisma. you are not obliged to be true in a way that makes you feel like you're putting yourself at risk to be used. That is not it. And when it comes to dignity, that's the things you just mentioned. It's not a dignified behavior to be putting others down. That is just a killer of charisma, I would say.

And also, it does not put you in a good light. You are going to be much more charismatic when you try to lift others. rather than trying to put them down. And it does not have to be like fake positive attitude and toxic positivity. It's not that because sometimes someone needs to hear something they will not like to hear. But how you say it, just like you said, how you say it will play a really big role in whether it will help the person or if it will put them down so that they feel miserable about themselves. And that is never our goal.

for sure. And there's, I was just thinking of the concept of vulnerability and like it's, it's, it's a yin-yang to it. It's a two-edge, two-edge sword. I mean,

it's necessary for true intimacy with a person. And it's dangerous with the wrong person. So it made me think of the idea of like, well, you wouldn't just tell a stranger your password to your bank account because they asked. But you slide that line a little further and you start getting into, there's there's people as you as you were saying you know people who are very adept at the the magic of manipulation that and you exploiting the the natural charisma and i'm trying to i don't know where i was

going with that i do but i can't find the words it's okay you know what i'm talking about i think the audience does too um so and and so they're also very good at this is where i was going with it kind of gaslighting or overcoming gut check defenses that we often can't put a name to. We can't explain it. Like one of the one of a classic manipulation technique kind of in, in concept is challenging an emotional response as illogical and therefore wrong because you can't explain it because you can't put it into words because you can't defend it. like pushing that onus on you to say, you know, I don't feel comfortable with that.

Oh, yeah, well, why not? And they're like, well, I can't explain it. Well, then you must be wrong. And I get what I want. That's like, that's not a good answer. That's not how any of this works. You're not obligated to give an answer for your gut. You can just walk away at any time.

Go ahead. And if you ever feel like you don't know what to say like that, and the best thing you can do is to say, well, now I know your input. And I will think about it and I will get back to you with an answer when I'm ready. And that is the only boundary you need to state. And if you feel like this person keeps pushing you for an answer, then just repeat that exact phrase again. And then the more times you will need to repeat that,

I will get back to you with an answer. I need to think about this. Well, the more times you have said those things, the weirder you should think that person is for pushing you. So if you only say it once and they accept it, then maybe they were just eager to get a response from you because your response matters to them, and that's just natural human dynamics. They value your response and they are curious to know what you think and what you will choose. So that's fine. But they will accept when you're saying that you're going to think about it and you will return with an answer.

They will say fine. And that's the end of that story. But if they keep pushing and pushing and pushing, that should be a gut response and that should, you know, set off your alert system into some form of protection mode. And it does not mean that you need to shut down completely. It just means that you need to stick to that boundary right then and there and create the conditions for yourself to think about what happened, to really understand what you want, and to think about an answer that you're going to give this person. And you might not be able to have those conditions when you're there with this person

who is pushing you and press an answer. So you need to remove yourself from that situation so that you get the best possible conditions for yourself. That's how you protect yourself from somebody who is trying to manipulate you. Absolutely. And getting more comfortable with the idea of not just setting boundaries, but saying, I don't know. I need to think about that.

And as I've gotten older, that's my pride has become less wrapped up in having all the answers right away. And if someone stumps me or, or even if I'm certain of something, I've discussed it before. I've thought about it a long time. And in this moment, I don't have the words. I've gotten more, especially online in different conversations to saying, you know, I think I've done the best I can to explain that right now.

I don't, I can't explain it any better. It is what it is. So, I mean, maybe I'll get back to you. Maybe I won't. A lot of this is dealing with strangers and internet hostility and whatnot. You know, because I'm out there making comments and trying to share wisdom like I think I know what I'm talking about. So that's the other thing, too, is having that kind of good sense of here.

humor about it. Well, take this for what it's worth. Look at me. I'm a guy who think, I'm a crazy guy who thinks he's a wizard. Understand who you're dealing with here. And maybe, maybe I will say some profound things. Maybe I'll say some stupid things. Maybe I'll say the wrong things. And it's okay. And maybe we shouldn't take it so seriously. Maybe that's what it is. We're just here. We're just playing around and we're just making the best of things, trying to learn something and sometimes trying to convey something that we think we have learned to our best abilities. And that's best we can do. I've found a lot of people are like that on the internet.

They want there's what is it? People say, oh, they're just attention seeking or seeking validation as if that wasn't important. But also it's not the most important thing. I mean, it's good. You want people to hear what you have to say and to you want to be seen by people and have them go, I like you. You're all right.

Well, that's, I think we all need that. I admit, we don't, we're not, we're not all Jeremiah Johnson living in the woods alone. Who doesn't need anything but, you know, his own reflection in an icy pond as he's fishing. Even me as a, I'm pretty much a hermit. I don't get out of the house. I don't have a lot of friends. I don't go anywhere to anything because I don't want to. I like to be alone quietly with myself, but I like to talk to people sometimes.

You know, I like to talk to people on the internet. Like to talk to people in the interviews. But that's enough for me. Like after this is done, I'm not going to talk to anyone for. for a week except my wife just that's it i just i just don't need you had enough after dealing with me right it you specifically sorry i'm just keeping it real but no but also like in these interviews i want to get to the end of it and have the person i'm talking to i want to have let's see so i got autism so charisma is a problem with me if you find me charming in any way that's entirely you i'm an

idiot you know i'm just i'm just some guy who i just say what i think and feel and some people laugh and think it's funny and some people think i'm a doofus and um then that's okay. But I think that everything that I've seen of you so far, you're incredibly charismatic. And I think you, yes, absolutely. I think you have totally found the perfect balance of not taking yourself too seriously. And at the same time, you know that you know great stuff and you are totally in your right to share with the world because it is wisdom. And I think it's awesome that you're calling yourself a wizard.

I think it's unique and very intriguing and fun. And of course, somebody who doesn't know who you are will be really fascinated and want to learn more. So I think it's a really great way of putting yourself out there and attracting like-minded people. Probably some haters too, but you know. Just a few. I say some crazy shit.

Just the left, right? Yeah, yeah. And also, to be real with you, I'm very uncomfortable with praise. so please stop. That's, thank you. It's okay.

It's okay. No, for real, I get like flushed. I'm like, oh, no, I want validation,

not praise. Like, there's a difference. Just, I want to get to the, so this is what I was saying, too. I want to get to the end of this with you going,

that was a good experience. Maybe I learned something. I had a fun conversation. And specifically with dream stuff, I was able to work with this person well enough to get true answers that helped me see myself more clearly. If I, so for me, It's more a matter of respect for my abilities, demonstrated abilities, not, not titles, not degrees, not expert status, but like demonstrated, like a plumber, did he fix the leak?

If we get to the end of the process and I fix the leak, hey, we got that's validation for me more than anything. But, you know, and of course, but it's different than wanting to be liked. Like if we got to the end of this and you said, you know, I don't like you at all. want to talk to you again, but you did a good job. I can't lie. I'm like, that's almost even better. It's like, you didn't find me charismatic at all, but we made it work and got you a good answer.

That's almost like, people are like, I don't like you, but you did a good job. Wow. That's grudging respect. That's even better. So anyway, that's my two cents. I talk about myself too much. Well, I do have this dream, finally, that I'm really excited to talk about. That's natural transitions.

I remember when you said you needed a dream to be able to be on this show. When you invited me, I didn't have anything. At first, when you said, like, do you want to come on the show? I was like, but I never remember my dreams. I will get back to if I dream something, okay? And I did. So now I'm here, and I'm actually really excited to hear your input about this one. Nice.

That's actually very cool. So number one, I'm like you. I almost never remember my dreams. I almost never wake up even remembering I had a dream and not remembering any of the content. But it's extremely rare that I wake up, remember I had a dream and enough of the content to analyze it. I have like five of those dreams in my entire life. And I remember them all. Still, to this day, because those are the only ones.

Usually it's like, okay, so I give this example in the audience is probably sick of it. But the typical, if I remember I had a dream at all, it's like this. one just the snippet it's is me standing by the open rear passenger door of a white four door little sedan type of car and that's it just be standing now that is actually enough to analyze in its own way but it's why why am i there what am i doing what is the car am i going somewhere what what happened next none of that none of that is in my head that's just all i woke up with is that little that almost static image um but the other side of it is that it's also very common that say a person who dreams all the time or regularly or fairly often

will have a dream and say okay let's go then we book it two weeks out and then the night before we talk they have another one and they're like oh we got to do that and it's something about knowing this experience is coming their brain says let's make the most of it here's something important and and i and i think that's very true that the you know dreams in a way self select for importance you remember what you need to it If it sticks with you, it's something you need to look at, or take a second look at. But I think we, everyone dreams constantly all night long. It's kind of like I explain it as the heart beats, the lungs breathe, and the brain thinks.

It's always running data. And that's what we're doing in our downtime when we kind of disconnect from exterior sensations, is just process that data and continue to what happened here? What do I think about that? What if this happens? We run ourselves through all these different scenarios. That's enough of my gibber jabber. Let's do the part where I shut up and listen.

You tell me your dream and we'll see what we can make of it. So I'm ready when you are. Benjamin the Dream Wizard wants to help you. Here's the veil of night and shine the light of understanding upon the mystery of dreams. Every episode of his dreamscapes program features real dreamers gifted with rare insight into their nocturnal visions. New Dreamscape's episodes appear every week on YouTube, Rumble, Odyssey, and other video hosting platforms, as well as free audiobooks exploring the psychological principles which inform our dream experience and much, much more. To join The Wizard as a guest,

reach out across more than a dozen social media platforms and through the contact page at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, where you will also find the wizard's growing catalog of historical dream literature available on Amazon, documenting the wisdom and wonder of exploration into the world of dreams over the past 2,000 years. That's Benjamin the Dream Wizard on YouTube and at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com. All right. All right. So I had it about a couple of months ago, just before I got back to you and said that I have a dream, like it was that night.

And it was extremely, like, vivid and detailed. And I remember, well, what I do remember is a lot. Okay. Let's do that. Yeah, we just started at the beginning and tell it like a story. Yes, yes, absolutely. So, in the stream, I was at an event where there were a lot of really, like, friendly people. and I got the sensation that this is a really exclusive,

a high-quality place, like five-star type of place. And I was there together with Elon Musk. And I was there almost like a spectator and observing this, but I was inside my own body and experiencing this as well. I don't know, or this version of me doesn't know. what happened before or why we're here or where we're going, nothing like that. I'm just there, but it feels really natural for me to be here.

And it feels completely natural that I'm there with Elon Musk. And everybody around me behaves as if it's completely natural. And it's the way it should be that I'm there and I'm in this setting and I'm there together with him. And we are spending the whole eve. in this really nice company, eating great food and having amazing conversations with all of these really interesting people. All of them seem to be some form of entrepreneur, inventors, very successful people, and who all seem to be very kind to each other as well and supportive and very polite and great mannered. in every way. Then the evening progresses and I'm sensing that I'm having fun but something is

starting to be as a drifting apart from Elon Musk. We started out as this almost like a couple, I think everyone assumed and I like that was it. We were there like a couple but then something started to change and I could not figure out why. I was like, why is he starting to like wanting to avoid me? Why is he backing out? And when it was time to just leave, he sat me in a taxi and home I went alone. And it was like, okay, that's that. That was what happened. But the dream continues. But it was me. I'm talking with my mother and I'm showing her on a tablet, like an iPad, I think or something and telling her like this was my evening yesterday and I don't understand what went wrong Everything started out so great and we had so much fun and everyone was talking and you know I told her about the evening as it was and I showed her on the tab

I thought look here we enter this event and here we are hanging out with all these people We are having champagne. Oh and I'm having more champagne and more champagne and too much champagne it never ends and I'm starting to behave very inappropriately, not just, you know, not in a way where I embarrass myself obviously, like not in an obvious way, but in a way where a person who wants to be together with somebody who behaves in a dignified manner and who talks coherently and all of that,

well, probably that was what he wanted, but I was starting to, like I started out, an expert level. I was really representing myself in the best possible way, but as the evening progressed and the champagne kept flowing, I started to speak incoherently

and a slur and say weird stuff and just risk embarrassing him. And nobody showed the signs of telling me that I was doing something embarrassing. And they were just too well-mannered for that. They

allowed me to just do what I was doing without setting me straight in any way, but I noticed that they were in a polite way, like stepping aside, making some distance between themselves and me, because I was no longer representing that high level of human interaction that was going on in that space. And when I saw this, the morning after in my dream, on the tablet, understood that, oh my God, I had this opportunity. I was in this wonderful setting with one of the people who symbolizes like the epitome of what mankind can do. And I blew it. I blew it.

Either I got too relaxed and celebrated feeling joyful by drinking too much champagne, or I was maybe nervous. and try to calm myself a little bit by drinking too much champagne. I don't know which one of those it was. And, well, I just had this realization together with my mom when I was showing it on this tablet to her.

And, yes, that was it. After that, I woke up, and I remember all of that. And, yes, I'm not going to say my own interpretation because I think, I don't want to hear yours. I really want to hear yours. as far. Absolutely.

Yes. No, that's good. And what we'll do is we'll blend in your understanding of things as we go. That's exactly how it works. There's some people who are like, you know, I have this dream 10 years ago.

I've already solved it. And I say, yeah, definitely don't tell me anything. And let me ask all the questions. And usually those are shorter things. And I get to, there's less collaboration on those because they've solved it. Then we start talking about where I,

where my suggestions lined up with their understanding. And then usually there's like a few pieces where they go, you know, I never thought it that way. And if you fit it in, there that gives me a different conclusion or or whatnot. So that's there's so many different ways to approach this. Um, I think I've got it one, this is all tangential, but I think I've got one coming up with a guy where, um, that's exactly the case where he knows literally this dream that he had

inspired him to create a system, like the system itself came to him in a dream. And we're going to talk about that and how his system works. So what I have to do is reverse the order of things a little bit where usually I talk to someone for 10, 15, 20 an hour, whatever to, uh, to, uh, to set a mood of a relaxed mood and just have some fun and learn some things, but also to get a sense of, of who they are and how they approach problems and, and, and, you know, and it's all like, I don't have any conscious, I'm not categorizing you consciously when we're doing that. All we're doing is getting a vibe, getting a feel. And it all goes in and then that informs the dream analysis to some degree. Um, um,

When I talked to him, I realized I was going to have to do a completely different format change. We're going to say, hi, this is my guest. We're going to go straight into the dream because he's going to tell me the dream. We're going to talk about the analysis. And then we'll get into the explanation and his business and how it informed it. Because if he tells me about his business or system ahead of time, well, that's the explanation for the dream. Like, challenge me to figure out what it is first. And like those stump the wizard, do I call it, those episodes.

Like, you already have an answer. Let's see if I can horseshoe or hand grenade it anywhere near what you've already got. what you've already got. Now, now is the time, Sisi Boy, you got to move. I need to spread out on the countertime. He's your boy. No, he doesn't want to wake up. He might have some input too.

He's going to input his claws into my flesh when I try and pick him up because he just does that. He's, he's, oh, look at him. He'll make little bunny arms. Oh, there to go. There he go, little bunny arms. So adorable. You don't even want to move him. But I got to do it.

I got to do it. Oh, there he goes. He's like, the hell are you doing, man. Don't pick me up or rub your belly. Okay. If you just kind of stay over there, that's not so bad. You don't not really have to leave. You just got to get out of it.

You ain't got to go home, but you can't stay here. That's what they say. Okay, so your actual dream. Let's get into this thing. I get a drink here. So, you're at an event did you have a sense of

where it was you said like a hotel reception room or something or did that is that the idea that popped into my head well it's on land because I was like maybe it was a boat no it was on land it was some form of very fancy place like it was beautiful

maybe it was hotel reception, maybe it was in form of, you know, castle or something of that sort. Very high class, very exclusive and beautiful. And I think it was more like, maybe not a tropical location, but more as here where I live in Sweden, but summertime, something like that. But I'm not sure that it was in Sweden. It could have been in the United States or, you know, anywhere in the world, but not tropical event or a location. Fair enough. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, it wasn't obviously in China or Australia necessarily. Those things didn't come to you. It's probably not about the location necessarily as much as the type of place.

And I think a lot of the high class or more expensive hotels patterned themselves after what would have been manor house reception halls in a castle or a or a lord's estate. that kind of a thing. So that's, it's very much the other way around. It's like we now we compare it like, you know, if we go to a one of those places and we look at it, like I went to Hearst Castle in California, which was the newspaper magnate Hurst from the 1920s or something like that. And his, his house was like, you'd see buildings like that. You know, again, France and Sweden and whatnot, like the huge manor houses and very opulent and raised ceilings with ornate stuff. over the place was fascinating to look through anyway um yeah it's more more important that it is the type of place you would find very successful people very accomplished people and we were talking earlier about just that the concept of validation of like there are certain there's an internet meme too it's like you know i might not tell anyone i hit the lottery but there will be signs and then it's like a picture of a mazirati or something you know it's or someone uh or something else silly that's like absurd but expensive.

And that's, I think it's like you're, you're showing yourself, um, with a person of great accomplishment in an environment of similar people where, where, where there's,

all these representations of, of value status. But it's not really about status. I think it's more about accomplishments, more about, um, successfully doing something or doing something successful

to a high degree and that's why we say high class or these different things even though it didn't really about class I mean I think what people dogg on Elon because they're like oh he had a rich daddy and he's like no he left South Africa with pretty much nothing

and kind of went to school and then built a business and maybe he got a loan I don't know but he wasn't really a trust fund kid not like that he actually built something almost from nothing and certainly there's a lot of say trust fund kids they do not they do nothing with with their money you know they're like i'm just set for life what do you want for me and there's like Elon's like i got to build stuff so there's a natural he represents now i'm putting a lot of this

pulling a lot of this out of my head of like what Elon say might represent to me but you can tell me i mean are these all things that you also have in the kind of thought bubble constellation around Elon well for me Elon is the representative of success, innovation, doing things that help humanity take huge leaps forward in where we develop. And also a very ultra-dimensional person. He is good at a lot of things. And his businesses allow for a lot of people to have really interesting. and fulfilling jobs. So he also creates opportunities for others and he is doing things that are valuable for the planet and the environment as well, at least in the long run, and also to expand the awareness of humanity when it comes to space, when it

comes to what else is possible. So he's constantly raising the bar and that's to me is, well, it doesn't get better than that. It's truly, like, if I would be at an event like that with a person of my choice, of course, and I could choose anybody in the world. I would choose to go with him. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. Good.

Those are all a fantastic explanation of what that, the symbol of Yilan means. Because, like, you don't know him. I don't know. We see his public persona. We see his public works. we don't even see what he's like behind the behind the scenes in team meetings although i get the i would be let's say i would be very surprised to learn that he was significantly different than he presented in the joe rogan interview you know it's one of those things where it's like i think he's basically

he is what he is and sometimes he sounds i bet he could be a scary boss if he's not happy but not because he's it's like i'm not mad i'm just disappointed he seems like one of those guys it's like i expected better i wanted you to do better and you didn't and i'm and i you failed and and like that That will probably be crushing coming from him. Like someone you really respect and you want to validate your experience and your efforts and to tell you a good job. And then probably it also shoots to the moon when he comes in and says, you did it better than I could have. Well, hot damn. That's amazing.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, there you go. You know, look at both of us, like, you know, puffing him up. He's just a guy. But, you know, that's, that's okay. Everyone has their special talents and he's got quite a few of them. We don't use the word polymath too much anymore. That's really what he is.

He's a polymath. He's bringing so many different things together. I mean, I expect him to announce tomorrow, like some new company that you would like, I never would have thought he would do that. But it came naturally out of this synthesis of all this other stuff he's analyzing. So, I mean, he's a fantastic representation, whether that's, whether any of that is true or not. If you believe that's true, it would show up in your mind that way. And so, yes, these are all very good answers.

There was a moment when you were describing. it that you were present as yourself, but also a spectator? How would you break it down a little bit? Yeah, it was the realization that, okay, suddenly I'm here. I don't know where I've been before. I don't know how I met him. I don't know what this event is all about, whose house it is, or whose reception it is. I don't know what will happen after it.

I'm just here in this moment. So that is what I mean by suddenly coming in as a spectator or as a onlooker, because I have had dreams long, long ago, that I know what I'm up to. I know that I have a mission. I know that I have some task that I need to do or a plan. Here I didn't have any of that. I just suddenly arrived here. Bam. Here I am with him.

on this location and let's see what happens a little bit like that so that's what i mean but i wasn't looking from the outside and seeing myself i was inside my own body and just as the first person good good that's exactly what i wanted to to separate out what which did you mean because i have spoken to people where it's like i was there as myself and watching myself third person which may have have its own kind of meaning. You know, I would, I would look at that as, I think that tends to be like, here I am reflecting upon myself, as if seeing myself in a mirror acting in a certain ways, watching my own actions.

Sometimes it can mean I felt separated from myself, like it wasn't me. Like I was not myself at this time, like in a literal, in a literal way. This is not how I would behave. I'm watching myself do things I would never do, but I'm watching helpless as. that it might indicate a lack of control. So many different ways. I can tell you all the things it's not. Sometimes I can if my brain goes there.

Okay. So that's good. In a sense, what you're describing is a lack of context. I mean, you don't know what you did to deserve to be there. And it's like I, is that, does that make sense? Am I coming from the right place?

Almost. I don't know what led up. to us being there. But it felt completely natural for me to be there. When it came to my connection to this location and this event, it felt natural, it felt obvious that I am here, of course I'm here. And it felt as obvious and natural to be there with Elon Musk. And everybody else mirrored that same obviousness and naturalness of us being there, of me being there, but also of us being there. So it was, you know, I'm at the right place with the right person and at the right time. And everybody sees it this way.

Got it. Everybody. Me, him and everybody. And as far as you could tell, at that moment, you also felt natural there. Like. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So that's what you're saying.

You felt natural. And they reflected that by treating you like you belong there as well. So what did I mean by? Yeah. You don't know what you. A lot of times you'd. say, I don't know what I did to deserve a girl like you. That's a guy would say that.

And it's like, and sometimes he's, what he's saying is, you know, I'm dating outside my, my range. Like, I've got a girl, I got a girl better than I deserve, you know, so there's the deserving type of thing there. But there's also, the way I kind of meant it, the shade of meaning was more like, you literally don't know what accomplishments you've had in life that brought you to the point where Elon Musk would say you are an equal. You can be on my arm at an event full of other accomplished people. And I think that's reflected in the idea of, you know, I don't know what

happened before. But whatever it is, I know that it was something good enough to not make me feel like a pretender in this space. So, there was no imposter syndrome. No imposter syndrome at all, none at all. It felt I didn't even have the thoughts formulated in that way deserving or having to move anything or accomplishing anything

I was in the sense of right place, right time, right people and it's natural and everybody agrees on this. There is no questions about that. That's the feeling that I remember so

well that was really the feeling And what else we got on the notes here? And from what you describe, okay, so what I wrote down, you can always clarify, you know, good food, amazing conversation. And I wrote down evening time as well. That's sometimes the time of day matters. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes day night cycles matter. This one, when do these events typically happen?

evening time. This was more an evening, evening type of event. Yeah. So that may not be very significant. I just wrote it down to make sure I didn't overlook it just in case. But I don't think there's anything too significant in there. So you are very much enjoying yourself and everything felt natural.

Natural is not the right word. Everything was, you were having a good time in a place you felt like you belonged with other people who validated, reflected that back to you in there. their behavior. Great food, great food. Anything stand out in terms of food and conversation? Any snippets?

Yes. I did not notice when I was in this first part of my dream that I was in fact drinking champagne. Well, I did maybe have like a crystal flute of champagne in my hand, but it was nothing I thought about it. I didn't think about or notice consciously that I was sipping and sipping and sipping on this champagne and it was refilled or anything like that. That was only afterwards when I was looking at myself through this tablet that I noticed like, oh my god, that is too much. I can't handle that much. So then in the first part of the dream, I didn't consciously notice any wrong behavior from my

on my side, I thought that I was handling myself well. I didn't even think about how I handled myself. I just felt good and had fun. That was what I felt. But then these small shifts started happening with people making the distance between themselves and me. But it was only later that I got those answers. For sure. My question was going to be, didn't does anything stand out about the first time you noticed

Elon distancing himself or other people stepping away from you how did that or was it more the impression that they were and not specific incidents that no it was more suddenly a little slight shift and how I felt around them a little bit of distance and maybe not as much warmth And, yes, just a feeling, I would say. Right then and there, it was more of a feeling. Like, what is going on?

What is happening? Why does it suddenly feel like I'm missing something? Everybody seems to understand what's going on and which social cues am I not catching on. Like, something like that, I would say. I guess what I'm trying to ask, and it's hard to, because dreams don't always work this way. Like there isn't always an event, like a specific thing. It's just this, you get this after impression of the description. As the evening went on, I felt different in the environment.

And the way I described the difference is people kind of pulling back, withdrawing from me. Sometimes it's very vivid and clear of like, I walked up to the table and I tried to set my glass down and it fell onto the floor because I missed the edge of the table. Did any specific events happen like that? remember anything like that? No, it was more, yes, this feeling and also not being able to place why suddenly this happened. It was like, why are they suddenly closed off? What happened? What happened? Why is this like this? It was just a minute ago it felt so great what is going on and why am I not seeing what is going on for sure and something like that more what word or so sometimes I try and come up with this out of my own hand and I think I just had an

epiphany today I should start asking the guest more often to give me the phrasing or description of how of the concept instead of trying to pull it out of my own head because you probably know better than I do um I mean the the concept of self self awareness comes to mind, but how would you describe it of like not, not being aware of your own behavior as it's happening? What's the conceptual term for that experience or description of that behavior? Where you're doing something and you don't realize it? I would say that I, um, without noticing it, those amazing opportunities for myself by not being, um, in, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um,

in alignment with the opportunities that were right there already there in my life. Because I, well, I made a fool out of myself. What can I say? I made a fool out of myself and, you know, the opportunity passed. I did not right then and there understand what I needed to do and not do. to be able to keep things that way. Gotcha. I don't know if I asked the question.

I mean, good answer, and I made some notes too. I guess what I'm trying to think of is like the descriptive phrase where the behavior you observed from yourself would be the definition. Um lack of self-awareness Yeah I mean that's the best I could think it was self-awareness yeah I didn't know if you had a better word

And that just came to me that idea of like Whoops was not self-aware and that idea of like Whoops was not self-sabotaging also maybe I mean if that comes to mind sure But unconscious Self-sabotizing Because it wasn't like I Wanted to

ruin the evening for myself or anything. It wasn't, I didn't even notice. That's the thing. I was so surprised later on when I was watching myself on the tablet. Yeah. That that had happened. I did not intend for that to happen at all.

I think it's a very common human fear of like, we can't account for the unknown because we don't know what it is. And we can try to make ourselves as prepared as possible to encounter the unknown, but if you get to a position where you can't or don't, for whatever reason, see yourself as clearly as you wish you could have in retrospect. That's the toughest thing is like, oh, I had no idea at the time I was making such a huge mistake. Well, if you did, you wouldn't have made the mistake.

If you knew it was a mistake, we can only recognize some of these things after the fact. I think that's the nature of all mistakes. Like, God, if I'd only known better, well, you kind of had to make the mistake to figure it out. Or you have a dream that tells you don't make that mistake. Sometimes that helps you figure it out, which. Yeah, that's great too. It's like very interesting things happening with this one.

And we're just off the top of my head while we're at this point. It is interesting that you say, well, look, I have the skill. I know I'm going to succeed. I know I'm going to be as if walking at the highest levels with the best people because I got what it takes. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about screwing it up when I get there. I'm worried about not making the most of that opportunity, not following through with what could be something really great. I see a nodding and smiling a little bit. Am I, am I under something with your own understanding? Yes, absolutely. Well, wonderful. Thank you. That's, yeah. And I, you know,

I kind of in some ways I feel the same way. And I've, um, I have a little bit more of detachment from it of like, I kind of just release things into the wild and they do what they do. And some of them sink and some of them swim and, you know, none of them are people or pets.

So that's okay. It's just ideas. Just ideas. I just throw them out there. Um, but I do want to be successful in my own way. Um, not too successful.

That's the funny thing too. It's like, I don't want to be Elon Musk famous. Never. Uh, that's uh thank you no i'm fine just i'm fine being hermit with you know just some people appreciate my work 100 years from now people find my dream books and republish them 200 years after they were originally written that would be but i'm never going to see that day like that's that's how detached

i am from results in some ways um i do my best i'm happy with doing my best and sometimes it works hey that's great sometimes it doesn't i'll try again tomorrow you know so i'm kind of i'm kind of there too but no but but but the same but i think we all all we don't put effort into things unless we care about the results unless we care that it's a good product if you know that that that um innate talent and an opportunity is being put to some kind of beneficial use um so it's after the fact so there's a there's a very real what am i trying to say like clear sequence of you actively self-assessing, actively reflecting in this, in this tablet. And it's very interesting also that you go to your mother, was it?

Yes. And you're showing her. Now, how did that, what did you say about that next day showing it? Well, I think it was something like, she asked me, how was your evening yesterday? And I was like, it was weird. First it was so good and then I don't know what happened. It just, I had no idea. I just sank.

I used these words. I don't remember exactly like to describe that something that started out really well became like bad in the end. And not like bad bad because he was a complete gentleman about it. He never made me feel like I had screwed up. He didn't show it in any way. or saying anything like you're embarrassing me, nothing like that. He just, you know, walked me out to the limo taxi outside and like, there you have a good evening.

Thank you for coming. You know, very polite, very gentleman like. Yeah. And I was just like, he still feels like I did something wrong. What did I do? And yes, so that was what I said to my mom. had no idea what happened. Everything felt really great in the beginning, but in the end like, yeah, it didn't end so well. I don't know why. I don't know what happened. And let's have a

look. And I took out this tab. We just had a look. Then I was actually looking at myself in third person because I saw myself on the screen. Definitely. They're very active, active observational process of literally looking at yourself on the screen. I love that's fantastic imagery too two two things there um number one before i forget it it's like you're not getting honest genuine immediate feedback from your date from the from the people around you no one's saying for your own benefit like because they care you know you could have had a woman just lean over you and say you know tarling maybe put put down put down the drink for a while i think you've had it yeah want to drink some water um in your date didn't say it either so you've got this representation of like

people at high levels of accomplishment they're honestly in the real world they're unlikely to take time out of their day to stop and correct other people at their level they're just going to say that guy's not for me I just uh you know hey

nothing wrong with him nothing wrong with the way he wants to do things you want to be as or she you want to be as drunk as you want that's fine I don't roll that way I'm not going to get involved in that and just politely distanced yes they're not going to start like parenting someone. Like maybe

there are a lot of people who try to change someone to fit them as their date, as their partner in their relationship. And I think that high level people, whether it's because they're rich or successful or just, you know,

spiritually evolved or anything, they know what they want. And if someone is not already as they want for their partner, they're not going to continue to where that relationship will go. They will know that no. They are different than someone who will be with me, you know, fulfilling my life vision and living based on my values and so, they will just

politely keep going in their own directions. I love that interpretation. I had actually thought about that. Thank you. It's what I do. It's very interesting too. It's like, so yeah, you're, You get invited to your, your friend invites you to another friend's party. And then you show up there. And this is just, you know, say, for my own personal experience. And you get a little too drunk and you act like a bit of an asshole. And you think you're hilarious. And you don't realize until the next day of like, wow, those people hated me.

I was such a jerk. Why did I, why did I think I was funny? Why did I think they thought it was clever and, ah, it's just horrible embarrassment. And then you don't get invited back to the next one. You just don't. They're just like, we're kind of done with you. We're not interested in the second chance. You were enough of a jerk.

You know, and that's, that's a bit of a wake-up call, too. It's like, well, maybe I don't do that again. Maybe I don't drink that much. Yeah. Okay, so that was the first part of, like, this immediate feedback from this crowd is like they could have, but they're there, they're not caretaking you. They're just like, we got our own shit going on. At this level, we don't do that.

You know, unless you're, you know, let's say if Elon was your husband, you would expect him to go. We talked about this. Slow down. Slow down. And the reasons you gave is like, I don't know if I, it was, oh, geez, see, we got, now we got two of them. I can't. You got to get off the papers. Oh, my goodness. Come on. There was a way you said it.

What was, I was looking for the notes and then I forgot and then the cat. You don't know if you're drinking because. Because of embarrassment or anxiety. And what was the other one? Or just over-celebrating. Yeah, and nervous. Yes. Yeah, exactly.

So not that I'm celebrating something specific, but just that I'm in a good mood and I'm relaxed and I completely have my guard down. And I don't feel like I need to monitor myself so much because I'm just, you know, happy and pleased with everything. I think that was one possible reason. And of course this glass may be self-filled. I mean, I didn't notice anybody pouring more into it. But it's like that sometimes with these events.

They just, you know, you don't, I did not actively go to a bar or anything like that. I just had this little campaign flute in my hand. That was it. So from somewhere more campaign poured into this little glass. and yes so I I don't know maybe it was just being relaxed and happy but it could also be

the other reason that maybe I was just you know knowingly more nervous than I thought I had been and wanted to calm myself down or something yeah and a lot of times what happens with folks understanding of their own dreams is in that moment or in the course of the dream,

that idea didn't present itself necessarily. It's afterwards you look back going, why would I do that? Well, you know, knowing myself as I do, sometimes I drink when I'm a little nervous because that's a little anxiety killer. Sure, just a little buzz and you're, I'm not as nervous as I can just relax

and kind of be present. And the other side of it is, yeah, you drop your guard, you overindulge in celebration because you think you're, safe to do so. And what I wrote down was like, um, like a mistake due to inattention. There's one of those things of like, if I were, if I were reading the room better,

if I were more aware of myself and monitoring my behavior, I didn't let my guard down so much. If I didn't let it down all the way, then I would not maybe have made this mistake. So there's a lot of, uh, okay, before I forget too, the other thing I was going to say is you brought the icon or representation. of your mother in to be the consulting spirit in a way this you know because your mother wasn't in your dream obviously it's your image of her you bring her in as the one you engage in self-reflection with uh in that way so you're very much it it seems to me and you can tell me if i'm wrong but

she set a good model for you someone you would rely on for um yes so absolutely uh we have a close relationship and uh if i would tell anybody about an experience like this. So my mom would be one of the first people I would speak with in real life as well. So that felt also as nothing that surprised me that it was her. Mm-hmm. Definitely. And, and you know, the funny thing is I was fully prepared for you to say, no, my mother was awful.

She was everything I don't want to be. So I was very surprised in this, that she would show up in the street. I'm like, honestly, same thing. If she gave you a good model that you respect or if she gave you a bad model, you reject, both create a standard. So I was ready for either answer. But that's good. You know, still a good relationship with her.

So she's someone that is a not only a good role model, but also a, an active mentor that even still today you would go to for advice. So in your dream, you say, okay, wait a minute. I need to see myself better. I need to understand this situation more clearly. Let's bring in the spirit of mother in the dream to, do as she does in real life and look at myself with her assistance. And then that's when you start noticing.

So there's some, some, okay, so if the problem you're trying to figure out is how do I avoid making a mistake through inattention, I'm going to want to reference my mother's example. How does she do it, perhaps?

And what she helps you identify in this, in this dream is, is that the specific thing was overend, indulging for two potential reasons. Maybe I was too nervous and maybe I was too joyful. Like there's two ways of, what are those things? Maybe it's both.

Yeah, maybe it could have been both. Because feelings can be present simultaneously, even if they seem to be. sort of not compatible, but they could be. I mean, it's possible to be both really happy to have an experience, but also nervous about it.

So, yeah. An idea idea just came to mind of like, you know, in movies and all kinds of different representations, but there's the person who thinks the fight is over, that they've already won, and they begin to celebrate, and then

the opponent suddenly gets back up and takes them down because they they celebrated too soon in a way um i don't know if that resonates with you at all but just the concept of um of you know and then the audience is like no no no no stop it's not over oh like we see it coming and we want it to don't do this is horrible we see it from the outside but he's like just yes wow and he gets it again yeah too celebrating too soon i don't know that resonates with you at all in Yeah, it's good, absolutely. In the stream, or maybe not. I mean, it's okay.

You can gut check on that one. Yeah, I think it's very common, whether you call it celebrating too soon or stumbling on the finish line or something like that, that you think there is maybe a little less effort required to reach what you want than actually is required. That could be something. It could also be that once you arrive, at that destination, that is not where you relax. That is when you take all of yourself up to the next level

to already focus on the next one, not just up in there, but rather that is not a finish line. That is a new starting point. That is what you need to remember as well. When you move through the levels of success and fulfillment, None of them is going to be a finish line. As soon as you start thinking in the terms of a finish line, and you're going to regress. Gotcha.

And this is all good. I think, what am I trying to say? This is a good conceptual framing that you had in your head before this dream happened. And now you're applying it retroactively to what this experience was. And another, another thing just struck me, the idea that the problem wasn't the alcohol. I mean, it very well could have been, everyone thought you were funnier when you were drunk. And they had a hilariously wonderful time. It's specifically that you became incoherent and undignified.

Those seem to be the two things that stood out to you. So you're looking at this like, you know, coherence is you want to communicate well with people. You want to have a conversation with people. They can't find you charming or interesting or intelligent if they can't understand what the hell you're trying to say. So that applies to all different. They're not just party time that's in life. It's at the grocery store. You want the, I would like, you know, what one dozen eggs, please.

They need to understand that coherently to get you what you need and to complete the transaction. So it's an incredible thing of like, what is a, what is a situation where you become incoherent and undignified well? When we drink too much sometimes. That's perfect, perfect analogy. So you put yourself in a situation where you're like, but really, I think it was all of it was to get down to that idea of like, what do I do when, not if, when I hit the biggest. time. I hit the high level. I'm producing and accomplishing to the maximum of my ability. What do I do? Do I stumble at the finish line? I could. You're looking at that going if I'm not attentive, if I'm not coherent, if I don't maintain a certain level of dignity in myself and my

representation publicly, but mostly internally. I'm going to say this is, this is, it's definitely both. It's because you're getting this feedback from the high, high level people. of, you know, because you let these, you know, possible stumbling blocks take you down, you don't belong here. We're not going to invite you back. We're going to, you know, you didn't go home with Elon. He put you in a cab. Good night.

You know. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So I think you're, yeah. So in my estimation, this appears to be a dream of warning to make. maintain proper focus on how you already know to be successful.

Is that kind of the, so now we talk about you. What do you think this was and how did it come across to you? What, what message are, what did I get right? What did I get wrong? What do you think? I believe that everything is right. And I think the concept of not stumbling upon a finish line and not celebrating too soon are very, very much present here. I think that it's very easily done, like it could be

accidentally, that maybe you, when you, let's say I would get a book deal, right? I finished my book, I get a book deal. And then instead of stepping up to the next level of published author who is off to going to, you know, book signings and release events and so on, I would be like, yeah, well, now I can go to Spain on vacation and just totally blow it, you know? I know that I would never do that. I know that I would step up and do what is needed. I had no idea why I would get a warning like this, because I think it's something about actually receiving a message from a higher knowing, maybe it comes from you, from your own knowing intuition or a source outside of us that wishes us to succeed and be well.

I don't know, but I am really wondering why I'm getting this message if it is a warning. So these things are... Because I am constantly stepping up. That's what I've been doing for many years. I am very conscious of the, you know, not regressing and always elevating my level. And like, yeah, absolutely. Well, one question I like to address with people, and sometimes there's an answer, sometimes there isn't, but did anything happen in the time before this dream or was anything coming soon after this dream other than talking to me? Like, that may be a reason as well, but like, what life events were around there where you might have been reminded, hey, this is a time not to blow it?

Something, something like that. Did anything happen around that time that you can think of or point to? No, no, nothing that I can think of. But I think just like, you know, writing something that really matters to me and that I really believe in will bring great value to. my readers and also being so close to launching all of these like my coaching program my mentorship all of these things of course I'm putting a lot of pressure on having this be a success and I don't know if it's going to be a success or not but I know that I'm applying everything that I know that I've learned and like both

principles and methodologies make it as successful as I can So I know that what I'm doing, as long as I'm focusing on the right things, I'm doing the right things as well, or rather, I'm doing the things in the right way. So I think that I'm doing everything that I can do the best of my abilities to make this a success. Then I don't know what will happen. It's like you said, you can't be attached to the outcome because you've done everything you can. You've thought strategically and tactically to make it as success based on what you know. But then the reception that people will give it, the validation and appreciation on all of that, you can't control that.

So that you just need to relax and let go and stay in the vibe of celebrating the process and enjoying everything you do around this process, not with this contracted attitude of, oh, it has to be a success, otherwise I'm a failure. No, it has to be in the vibe of, wow, I'm so much enjoying that I get to be creative and put something into the world that I'm truly, you know, I stand behind this 100%, I believe in this, and I just hope that it finds its way to the right people so that they can enjoy it too. So being in that vibe, I think, is much more important than the actual result. Because if you're not in that,

if you get the results of having a million copies sold of your book, you're still not going to be able to enjoy it as much as you would, selling two books, but being in the vibe of really enjoying it. So, yes, I'm not sure when I'm going with this. No, no, no, I get it. That reminded me of something like, there's a lot of lessons we get as kids that sometimes don't click

until you get older. And there's like, um, what one of them is, you know, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose. It's how you play the game. And then when you're a kid,

it's like, but I want to win. Winning is winning. Losing is losing. I don't want to be a loser. What do you mean? It doesn't matter. And what I think it's,

it's talking about is this, this type of being detached from the results. As long as you did your best, that's the most important thing. I didn't get that either for, for years and years and years. But it's like, you know,

you can't do better than your best. But it's not. easy to do your best either that's a struggle that's an accomplishment all on its own to give something 100% and then hey sometimes that's enough and sometimes it's not and sometimes the result matters and it's very disappointing and it's and sometimes it doesn't as much you know and you can kind of let it go well that's well darn it that was unpleasant i'm not going to do that i guess we learned something from doing it the wrong way you know yeah it's the answer lies in how you win or how you lose. It doesn't matter if you win or lose. If you win, but you win like an asshole,

that victory is not worth so much. If you lose and lose as an asshole, that is also not going to give you so many benefits. But if you win as, you know, your best self or you lose as your best self, both are going to be extremely valuable experiences, both to yourself and probably to a lot of other people and not only you. So, yes, it's how you. approach these types of events in your life, success, failure, whatever. And I think now that we're speaking, I think maybe one of the aspects of this message could be that I need to get more in touch with the vision after this vision. Like, okay, I know I want to become a published author, I want to publish my book.

So I'm doing what I need to do to do that from my standpoint, from what I see needs to be done. I need to write the book, I need to create an author platform doing those things. And I need to start maybe already thinking a few steps ahead after that. Like, okay, let's say I have a book. It's published. It's appreciated by the readers I hope to reach. Who will I be then? connect with that person already from where I'm now. Yes.

So that's not. Maybe that's part of. I think it is. I think that's a brilliant analysis. Yeah, I think that's a brilliant analysis. If I want to be the kind of person who is welcome back at a high level, I need to already start thinking, what does that person look like? And what are the mistakes that would prevent me from maintaining or feeling a part of,

We're not just feeling a part of, but being. Like, we can feel a thing, and then there's what the thing actually is. Not always the same. You know, you can feel like you belong, but everyone was distancing themselves and you weren't aware of it. Okay, mistake. But, like, yes, so you're looking at, okay, what's the next step? What do high-level people do? They think about the next step.

They're already there, you know, and if I want to be one of them, I got to think like them. I got to do what they do. I got to fit in at the party, is the analogy. Dreams love analogies and puns. And so it could have started with this whole thing of like, oh, I don't want to hit a place in my life where I feel like I don't belong at the party. And then a bam, a whole dream shows you a party. Well, who would be there? And where would it be?

It would be Elon Musk and a bunch of really rich successful people, you know, more successful than rich. But still, I often go hand in hand. And what would it be like to make a mistake in that environment? What would that mistake look like and how would I avoid that in the future? Yeah. Yeah. Something, something hit you at that moment. Absolutely. Yeah, I know. So to be able to, maybe you need one success and you're going to

show up on the radar of those people. But you also need to stay that kind of person who would get a second and a third and a fourth invite, not only one. Yeah, yeah. And that's, I think, the whole answer here. Like, it's not about getting into that first party. That's going to happen to anybody who accomplishes something that gets attention and intrigue and creates value once. So that happens once. You're in, all right? And you need to stay irrelevant. You need to stay interesting and dignified and one of their people.

You need to be one of my people to those people who you want to be with. Yeah, definitely. You feel like we got a pretty good answer? Oh, yeah, absolutely. How, I'm just curious. So, so you had time to reflect on this and you're, you know, you are reflective and insightful. Is there, I don't even know what the question I'm trying to, like, how much did I help? How much new material did I bring to it or perspective?

You know, it was like 80, 20 or something. Oh, I would actually say 50-50. Okay. Nice. I, of course, I've been thinking about this, but. it's so valuable to share it this way. And, you know, I have told about this dream to three people already. So I'm including that also.

Like, it's not only my reflection. I've even journaled this dream because I'm like, okay, this is so rare to me that I'm remembering a dream. And a dream is interesting. So for me, it's been really interesting. and reflecting on it, journaling about it, talking with my mother and friends about it, and still this is extremely valuable. So, yeah.

Thank you very much. Yeah. Well, I've been thinking about this kind of stuff for, ah, it's, you know, probably my entire psychology career just always fascinated with dreams and then decided, you know, about five years ago to like, well, I'm just going to be a wizard. Fuck it. Let's do this thing for real. Yeah.

Let's see if I can develop this. And then 170 episodes later, and I'm here to be just a little helpful to you. I appreciate that opportunity. Absolutely. Well, yeah, if you don't have any additional questions, there's nothing about the dream. You're like, we failed to address a particular puzzle. We've gone through it thoroughly. I think so, too.

Yeah. But I always give people that opportunity. Oh, sorry, baby girl, bunked her right in the head. And she's going to lay out the papers. Go, go. Go. Then, okay, by way of wrapping it up. I will say to everybody out there, this has been Melena Dallanaros from Stockholm, Sweden.

Love talking to an international audience. She's an author and coach. You can find her at melena dalanaros.com. And that link will be in the description below. For my part, the outro stuff, this is probably where a lot of people just bail, but I'm going to do my own shilling. Would you kindly like, share, subscribe, tell your friends, always need more volunteer dreamers. 17 works of historical dream literature this week, focusing on book one of the Augury Bibliable, Mancy and Chaos series.

That's what I call the book series, ABC, the ABCs of Dream interpretation. I think I'm clever. It is book one, the court of curiosity. You're going to flash that on the screen there. You can find that, of course, at Benjamin the Dreamwizard.com, including MP3 downloads of this very podcast. Also, if you'd head on over to Benjamin the Dreamwizard. Dot locals.com building a community there, free to join attached to my Rumble account.

You can give me money or not. You don't have to. That is enough out of me. And I'll just say, Malena, thank you for being here. You're always great to hear dreams, but very great talking to you, too, because you brought so much focus and insight and expansion to the process, too. I love that. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a great opportunity for me to talk to somebody who I can really tell that you love doing this and that you are good at this. And you have been doing this for all of those years that you've been into psychology. So I got a lot of value from this.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, and I appreciate that too. Someone of a, uh, someone who's opinion I respect telling me I'm hitting that high level. I appreciate it. That's very good. Um, and last thing, everybody out there. Thank you for listening.

We'll see you next time.