Dreamscapes Podcasts - Dreamscapes Episode 194: Mattariii Sensei

Episode Date: May 16, 2025

Mattariii ~ https://kick.com/mattariii

Greetings friends and welcome back to another episode of Dreamscapes. Today our guest streamer is Matari out of Ohio. He is a streamer with a focus on gaming and cultural commentary and debate reviews. He has been on the show before. He was, I don't know if you went by Too Dank at the time, possibly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This was episode 124, A Knife in the Back, if you want to go back and watch that one.

And now we're going to catch up with him again about, what is it, like 60, 60, 70, 70. episodes later. It's been a couple of years. You can find him streaming on kick.com slash matari and on X at underscore these nuts. The spelling is unique on some of these things. So you're going to want to look at, of course, links in the description below. And you wanted to mention one other

podcast. I don't think I got the title of it that you're doing with the friend. It's called Nimbo Stratosphere. The podcast is called Out the Pocket. but it's on the KIC channel Nimbo Stratosphere I should find me on KIC at Matadi with three eyes

and on Nimbo Stratos on the Out the Pocket podcast and somebody other live streams we do I ran out of room on my paper it's out the pocket and hopefully we can add a link to the Nimbosphere Discord because we're looking for

new people to join interesting conversations and meet some cool people. Absolutely. Yes, I'll get that from you. You'll probably after we're done and then I'll join too. Yeah, I can send it to you that. Yeah, we can put it in the chat or whatever. Okay, we're going to get right back to our friend Atari here in just a moment.

For my part, would you kindly like, share and subscribe? Always need more volunteer dreamers. I do video game streams Monday through Friday most days on 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Pacific. and that's on YouTube and Rumble. I also broadcast to the X platform, but you can't comment there. So just leave a comment, and I'll come back later and say hello. This episode is brought to you by ABC Book 9. It is the Literature and Curiosity of Dreams, Volume 2, part of a two volume set by a gentleman named Frank Seafield out of, I believe, 1865.

The graphic will be on the screen there. Of course, all this and more at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, including downloadable mp3 versions of this very podcast so that you may take the wizard with you wherever you wander with or without Wi-Fi. And last but not least, if you would head on over to Benjamin the dream wizard.locals.com. It is free to join attached to my Rumble account. You can donate. You cannot. But it's also one of the best places to contact me if you have a dream to share. That is enough out of me. Darry, thanks for coming back for another crack at it. Glad to be here. I've been wanting to tell you about this dream since last

but we said we were going to give a little time. So we have a little breather to speak. Yeah, I do like to do that. You know, I don't want to have to say the same guest over and over and over. People get bored by that. But you give it a little bit of time. Everybody dreams. And especially if you're a dreamer who remembers their dreams,

you're more likely to have another one that you might want to take a look at. We were speaking a moment ago. We talked for like an hour before we even got started. That's hilarious. But you mentioned that you have two dreams. Hopefully we can get to that second. at least a little bit to touch on it because you said it was more recent semi-lucid than it actually brought out of sleep which just allows open the door to interesting

discussion I had well yeah I had so I had like two dreams and two of them were actually like intertwined they're like they were one I had like I had it a couple times I think when I was a lot younger and that was one of the ones I initially told you about when I thought you I had a couple of dreams you know the first time and this I was telling you about the most recent kind of iteration I had of that dream but I've always also been trying to retrace the older dreams I had to try to remember some of the different details of like how it changed over time. And what made it so impactful the last time I had it.

For sure. Yeah, the other dream I had recently, I've been had a couple times. Yeah, it's actually like one of the interesting main things. We don't have to talk about it now, but one of the interesting things about it was that I came out of it knowing that it was a dream, but I thought I had like woken up, I think, at one point, but I still hadn't. And it was kind of like a thing where there was like kind of an inception inside the dream. I was like kind of like pulling something out of a hat and constantly pulling like a hat out

of a hat if you could understand like how weird it was. And then that's when I was like, wait a minute, there's no way this is actually happening. I was like at some point these hats have to stop coming out. Oh, yeah. Well, you get two things there that fascinate me. I mean, the whole thing, but recurring dreams specifically. I love them. They're very interesting because, well, because they come back over and over again.

What is it about this thing that we need to, that we've crystallized it into a particular visual representation, say? And why would it return? and why would it change over time? Once you nail down some of that stuff, it's very, very interesting. It's like a light switch goes, oh, yeah, that's what it is. That's why it works that way.

But then the other category is just lucid dreaming in general, which I feel like I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around. If I ever had that experience, or if I had it more regularly, if I was a lucid dreamer, I could then explain it. But I don't, so I can't. I've had dreams. I've had dreams I can remember,

so I get that experience. But lucid dream is just a mystery to me. Like, what is it? I've got it a lot. It's like actually kind of scary that how many times I've had it. And I think I probably had it more when I was a kid when I was younger. Sure. And if I could say like one particular thing I know happened a lot in those dreams is like I would jump and I wouldn't like touch the ground.

Like I would I would be leaping for an extremely long time. Like it wasn't flying, but I was almost flying like whenever I jumped at a lot of these dreams. That's one of the main things I remember about them and how I knew they were dreams. Did you ever play a game called City of Heroes? Does that sound familiar? It sounds familiar, but I'm not. Was it a browser game or was it? It was a MMO, massively multiplayer.

It was based on the, loosely based on the realm of superhero comics, that genre. Yeah, I think I did. I'm not sure if it was, I think I did. I think it was, I think it might have been in the, browser though. Like if I did play it at all, I'm not sure if they had like a browser version of it. They might have something like, I do remember a lot of games trying to branch out into different things like card games. Yeah, yeah. Because when I was a kid, I used to play a lot of random desktop games. And some of them, you know, you'd, you know, like, Diner Dash. I don't know if you ever like seen like diner dash. Some of them, yeah, you download these like these clients and they'd have like a bunch of just kind of like random games. Some of them were like normal games. But then every now and then you find one that have like a little like. MMO or something,

like City of Heroes on it. I think I did play that one actually. In fact, I think if I'm remembering correctly, I might have had it on a disc. I think originally when it came out, it was like post, the height of popularity of Everquest and wow,

and then City of Heroes kind of came out around that time trying to capitalize on. Let's give someone a different genre of MMO to play. Well, the reason it came to mind, the reason it came to mind is that there were, you know, classic two comic books, there was a speedster class. You run really fast.

There was a flying class or class is the wrong word for it. But you had to pick, you know, movement type in a way, just like you had to pick. I'm going to be melee or ranged attacks. And the other one was, well, how do you want to move around? And so speedster, flying. And then one of them was a Incredible Hulk style jump. It's like you can just jump really far. And it just reminded me of that, like Incredible Hulk style jumping.

city heroes when you're saying in your dream there. All that to get back, get around to the point. What was the, what was the phrase they have for Superman? They was like, you know, faster than the speeding, but able to leap, leap tall buildings in a single bound. Yeah. Yeah. And that was back in the day because Superman, he never, he, the original iteration

of Superman, he could not fly. He could just jump. He could leap tall buildings. He had that incredible. And it was all about just incredible. extensions of natural human abilities. And then he got into, well, he can fly and his skin's bulletproof and he's got laser eyes.

All that stuff got added later. Which, yeah. Today, that's Superman. That's all those things have become classic. He's probably the original superhero, I think. Because I think, like, there were some other, like, you know, mass vigilantes before Superman. But I think Superman was the first, like,

because he also didn't really, he didn't hide his identity. necessarily like he had an alternate identity but he was like the first um like superhero with uh like tons of like superpowers and abilities because before that we had things like the shadow the mask yeah uh what are some of the 1940 you know is dick tracy it was a lot more grounded down to earth stuff and then they started to get it into well what if um what if they you're a tickle we'll not stop that's okay um I think the first character that had, I may be wrong,

but the first character that had supernatural powers, and I could be getting this completely wrong. The first one I'm aware of was, I think it was the shadow. Now, maybe it wasn't the shadow. It's the one where he's in a purple suit and he's got the mask. And what he did was like he had, there was some mystical connection to esoteric, you know,

Eastern mysticism type of stuff. And that allowed him to do some superhuman things. there was a Billy Zane movie and I don't know I think it was a phantom or something like the phantom's that there you go yeah yeah I think that might have been one of the first that had like supernatural powers

yeah and then we got into the whole well what if he was an alien and all this other stuff or what if there was an experiment with gamma rays you know that was a building on top of the the whole nuclear bomb thing when we didn't know we know it could give you cancer and make your skin fall off but what if it didn't what if it also gave you super

then we get the toxic Avenger in the 80s building on that theme what if that theme went horribly wrong. What if all the mutations weren't hazardous? Right? I think there's a Simpsons episode. It might have been Treehouse of Horror where they're like,

I'm going to roll around in nuclear waste and they go to the doctors like, so do I have superpowers? No, you have cancer. Yeah. That was so good. That's one of the funniest things about the Simpsons. It's like we had it in their little intro

and everything too, I think. Talk about predictions. That show has been crazy. We were talking about, I think it was off-air moment go, South Park and how they're kind of prophetic. And there's a, that's another, see, I got, I got all these ideas for books. I'm probably never going to write, honestly.

I'll get some of them done. But one of them I want to do is a wizard's guide to the prophets of science fiction. And it's the ones that come to mind are Isaac Asimov and Frank Herbert. A lot of that 50s, 60s, sci-fi genre was predicting. And one of the, one of the examples I give too on a regular basis, the idea that every piece of current science fact was once science fiction. Someone had to imagine it in their mind before it could be built. And so I go to the example of Star Trek and Gene Roddenberry and the

didleep the little communicators. What did we get in like 2006, seven, the flip phone, the razor. Didleep. Kirk to Enterprise. I mean, we had a communicator finally, just like that. And so many other examples like that that predicted things that would come in and largely inspired things that were going to be developed later because someone had to imagine it first and then they're like hey we should build that um and i think we're going to need

azimov's rules for robots very soon uh what was that guy's name um uh was it huxley or the guy whoever wrote a brave new world i think all this huxley yeah yeah and a lot of people get him confused with george or well they're like are we in brave new world or are we in 1984 my answer is yeah that's what i've been taking a lot of reason i was like it's literally like we're in like both um because especially a lot of the technology that he was thinking of in the Brave New World is actually kind of coming to pass like. For sure. Yeah, well, especially the idea of Soma, the drug.

And everyone was just gorked out on that. And that can be anything from social media as a drug or literally fentanyl and people being fentanyl zombies on the street. And the idea that governments are, people didn't have to be trick. into it or have it forced upon them. They just did it naturally. Someone said, hey, you want to get high and feel good all the time? Oh, I sure do. And then they just do it. Yeah.

But I would also classify George Orwell's, um, uh, I just said, I just said it, uh, 1984 as prophetic science fiction, uh, became the idea of memory holding. What we, I mean, there's very literal real world examples, stealth edits on, on, on news articles. they publish one thing, they say it one way, and because they're in the back door with their own code, they can just go, we're going to change that headline and take out that sentence and no one will ever know. Or what was it? I just saw an example recently where the, I think it's Disney's animated Robin Hood is on Amazon or something. And someone said they took out the beginning where there was a statement written on the screen in old, ye old timey font. and it said, you know, whenever the government gets oppressive, a hero arises to return, you know, justice to the people, that kind of a thing. I took that out because why? Why did they take that out? I can speculate a lot of things. I think they don't want to, I think they don't want to smoke from accusations of your fomenting riots or whatever or encouraging criminal acts. But Robin Hood was an outlaw. And this is a fantasy story. And yeah, when the government gets oppressive, people start to fight back. And this is one story of how.

a nobleman came back from foreign wars and saw that his people were being treated poorly and said, I'm not standing for this. That's the whole point of the story. And kind of in the same light, I think one of the big takeaways, I know I always noticed from like, was it, 1984, is that, you know, the, somebody I know actually has the moniker Goldstein on Twitter. And it's actually based off of the gold scene. 1984 because you know how they had the guy that they would put up on the screen that everybody hated and everybody would just like they would go in yeah a particular time of day and and this is the guy

he was like the evil guy that they would all like kind of unleash it upon and they they kind of blame everything on um we're we're seeing that a lot nowadays too like uh yeah you could use like you know certain whatever you know pick your political figure or uh celebrity or whatever and everybody just kind of pick somebody to like pala all the hate upon all the things they don't like they associate that person with it oh yeah absolutely you look at uh you know the trends on x and it's like okay who we hate in today who's who's today's focus of outrage and it absolutely does not only that but he also hit on a little lesser known it may be more controversial ideas but in his in his estimation the way he saw it that his reflection of his society at the time, which I think remains true to today, is that no one is more zealous, more rabidly adherent and socially controlling than the young women, young to young to middle, like, you know, from from teens to 20s to 30s or whatnot, is that if you get, if you get that group as social enforcers, you can do almost anything with that.

power that's a power that exists and should uh i don't say should be directed or harness but can be directed or harness depending but if you get that group of social enforcers you can get away with almost anything and that's that that's enough i think that's what we're seeing today too i mean without getting too political but a lot of social trends and enforcement is all because they've got a big cohort of women that are like this is the oh yeah necessary gentle compassionate thing to do. They use all these. And there's more, you know,

there's, trickery, deception, manipulation that works better on women and others that works better on men. So, yeah, but as much of men tend to, tend to be the ones in political power, women have social power,

far in excess. Because we all, at the end of the day, we're all, unfortunately, kind of ruled by our baser instincts. So, you know, we kind of automatically have this affinity

to want to, you know, kind of please women, you know, and in order to, you know, continue society, we got to, we got to keep them happy. Kind of need them around. Yeah. Yeah. And unfortunately, you know, they think they like, you know, appeal, appealing to emotion is very easy.

It is, yeah. Just for us as a species. And, you know, they unfortunately happen to be a little bit more susceptible to that. Yeah. No. Or better or for worse. Definitely for better a lot of the time. And that's not to say men are immune.

You know, we get our, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's a very, I was thinking of something. I don't even know, I don't know, I don't know where these thoughts come from. They're shower thoughts, but I have them all the time. And it was, I returned to this concept I'd had that, you know, the, why, why is there an ideal breakdown?

Why are there social roles and norms that are different for men and women? What I came back to was a gaming analogy, the idea that men are, broadly speaking, tanks in this battle of, of the male-female partnership against the natural world and against other enemies, enemy tribes or nations or, people in your own community might want to hurt you, doesn't matter at all levels. Men are tanks, and some of them are warriors. Some of them are paladins. Some of them are dark knights, you know, the anti-paladon. But it's that broader tank role.

And then women tend to encompass every support class. They're healer, bard, shaman, just all of that stuff. And, you know, what it is is that women can't make better tanks than men. Men are just built to be tanks. But they need support. and the ideal combination is tank and support.

Every tank needs a healer, and every hieler needs a meat shield. You're talking to a support, Maine. There you go. Me too. When I played games, that's very in touch with my feminines, I'd say, I was always a cleric.

I loved the shaman class in World War. Son of a bitch. EverQuest. I love the bard. I just wanted to run fast. I just love running fast in games. or flying. If I can't fly, I want to run fast.

You know, it's all about movement. Yeah, tanks were always too slow and vulnerable. You know, they can't heal themselves. Yeah. Palladin was an interesting combination of those two with that self-healing thing. But they really did a number with Shadow Knights or what, because, you know, okay, this is way off in the weeds, but who cares? The Palladin had holy touch.

He could heal someone or heal himself to full health. Well, the Death Knight or whatever had Shadow Towers. touch, which is I'm healing myself by stealing your energy. Now, they didn't make it a full heal for the shadow night. So you had to, you had to shadow touch or whatever multiple times, but it was it was offensive self healing, which is, that's just genius. I mean, so they did make some of the best. And I, I was always jealous of their ability to, uh, uh, the feign death to get

out of trouble. Oh, I can't defeat this guy. Oh, yeah. I'm dead. I'm dead. He killed me. And then they, then they turn out the healer. Oh, no, I'm running.

Root, root, try and cast the spells and run away. Anyway, well, what have you been playing lately on your channel? The last thing I actually started playing, which I need to get back to because I took a bit of a break. But I started playing through my Devil May Cry collection. Oh, shit, I just did that. New adaptation. Yeah. I just played one, two, and three.

And actually, I quit. Oh, really? I reached three at the very end. I could not beat that guy. Yeah. No shame. I was not up to the challenge. I just decided I was not going to beat my head against that brick wall anymore.

I'd played all three up to the very end. It's not about me. Go ahead. What's been your experience? You probably have better. Oh, no. Well,

I'm still stuck on one right now. I started playing one because the last thing I was playing. I've been kind of doing two games at once. So I'm still like in the middle of a playthru on Mountain Blade Banner Lord. I heard that one was good. Yeah, yeah. It's really good. I actually,

I started a kingdom. And the tough thing about it is like, I mean, Once you start like the campaign with the actual story mode and everything, like once you declare your kingdom and declare that you're trying to like rebuild the empire, like they start this conspiracy against you. And once it, you know, once the bar fills all the way for the conspiracy, like three nations at once declare war on you. So I've beat out like the two of the nations that declared war on me. The other nation was like on the other side of the map. So they weren't really like engaging with me too much.

So the only one of the ones that's left. So I got to finish that play-through. But I was also playing, I was playing near-replicant, like the prequel to Neur Automata. I played Atomita lately, too. But is Repliquing good? Would you recommend it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty good.

And I found out a lot about, like, the original game that it actually came from. So I was playing, like, the remake of the original game. Now I kind of want to go back and play, like, a spin-off, like, the fifth. meaning of one of those games, like, ended up turning into a near. But I'll probably go back and do that later. But I didn't want to jump right into Atomata, and I wanted to try to stream something that was a bit more, like, relevant right now since Devil May Cry just came out with the new adaptation on Netflix.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So I started playing through a Devil May Cry collection, but I'm still on the first one right now. And because I took a break, I need to start the game. Did you get the, the HD collection? Yeah, I did. Yeah, that's the one I played. But even then, the first one is it's bit wonky and the graphics are old.

You can tell. By the time you get to the third one, looks pretty good. My biggest problem with it was, you know, I'm just bad at button mashing games that require timing and skill and hand-eye coordination and memory. All the things that make someone a good gamer, I got check shit. especially like for me it's especially like when I'm streaming it's like I can it's a little easier for me to like dial in and get like really in it when I'm like not live but when I'm live and I'm playing it I realize it's a lot different because I'm trying to be like engaging I don't want to be boring or anything but also like I'm trying to figure stuff out so like I didn't remember anything about the beginning of the game and when I first started out I was just I was like hopping around trying to figure out like how to how to do something and I figured out like I was trying to do it the complete

wrong way. I think I'll waste it like 30 minutes on stream trying to figure out something. Shit, yeah, yeah. Well, I got, I got two things. Here, I don't know if I can show you this here. Let's see how it shows up on camera. So this, this is a, so, okay, the white balance is throwing it all off. It's not actually a blank page, but on, so I'll go ahead and put it down because, but on that page is a diagram of a controller and all what all the buttons do. I do that for every single game, because I can't remember shit. I think I could see it. I could see it from like right there, but for some reason in the middle I can see. Yeah, yeah. So you, what I did was I brought it into the frame.

Like my frame is actually like like, like, where is it? From here to here and then from here to here. So only guests get to see the whole room out here. And now you can kind of see this one here. It's got that. Ah, yeah. So you can see it.

You can vouch. It's true. There's, it's not a blame. But the other thing is that, okay, so that's one thing. Is like, am I trying to do? something with these buttons that...

Am I using the wrong buttons? Okay, I've been hitting X. Shit, it's B. Okay, B, B, B. I got to remember that. But the other thing I... One of my biggest problem with games is games that make it difficult to understand what the hell you're supposed to do. And my frustration is, am I doing the right thing badly?

Like, I just need to keep at it. Or am I perfectly executing the wrong strategy? Because that's not how it's supposed to work. Am I doing something, attempting to do something impossible? Because that's not what they want me to do to solve this puzzle. And then I go and I look it up and I'm like, yeah. This is why I've been starting to use more walkthroughs. I go to walk through.

Fuck it. No shame. Yeah. I don't want to, especially when I'm live. I don't want to be sitting here trying to figure it out too long. Like if I'm on my own, I can probably do that. And even then I'll probably end up looking it up. At a certain point it's not fun anymore.

I don't have time to waste playing video games anymore. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I was like, I could probably do that more. when I was a kid, but like nowadays it's like, I play a game. I'm trying to get it done as fast as possible. I don't want to have to like stumble around too much. Like I want to have fun, but it's not really fun when you're frustrated trying to figure something out. So like, oh yeah. Yeah. I mean if I it's it's frustrating enough to know what you're supposed to do and you're just trying to kind of figure out the

timing. Fair enough. Yeah. It's so it's so frustrating not to know the difference. And that takes me way back to, I mean, if you were a child in the 80s, early 90s, as I was, you, it was nothing. You either got a copy of Nintendo Power and hoping it had a, had a walk through and a guide and descriptions, or you had to call the hotline and talk to some 13 year old kid that knew twice as much as you. It was like, oh, yeah, you see, you just kind of jump up on this platform here. That's $1.99 a minute. No, shit.

That was actually a lot back then. I caught the wave right after that. Like there were a lot of games that definitely didn't have, like, any, like, walkthroughs or anything you could find, like, when I started out gaming and everything. But I think by the time I really got into it, because I was so late to a lot of games,

like, there was already, like, you know, like walkthroughs and all the cheat codes for a lot of stuff already. Oh, yeah. That's all I needed to do. But I also went back to a lot of those games. Like, I played them initially. I figured out a lot of the stuff.

and then I happen to like go back to him. And then when I couldn't remember what I did or I knew that there was some stuff I didn't unlock, then I would go for the walkthroughs and I'd be like, okay, like how do I get this? How can I accomplish this that I didn't get to accomplish like the first time I played the game? So like, yeah, there's definitely like always some more, even like an older like Game Boy games. There's like a lot of stuff I didn't end up doing that I want to do. Like, you know, old Pokemon you didn't catch, like those rare shiny Pokemon you didn't catch.

like a 1% chance of catching them in like one particular area like yeah yeah some of those things are just a matter of are you willing to invest the time to hit the random number generator button a thousand times if it takes that to get so that's that's one reason why i uh i've completely abandoned achievement chasing in games of like yeah not going to invest that amount of time lately uh i just want to play i used to really love the the open world interactive nature of MMOs. It used to be I wanted to see other people around. I wanted to get into groups and do interesting things. But lately in my life, I just want, just tell me a good story. Just tell me a good story I can interact with and a little combat here and there to spice it up.

But but just don't bore me. So games that are like missing a decent story, I just skip it. I just, I'm not, I'm not interested in that. That is the main reason I play games nowadays is for a story. I think one of the few games that I play that doesn't have much of a story is probably like Mountain Blade like I mentioned but the game, the mechanics in the game are so fascinating like there's a heavy like

futile political bend to the game at the same time so there's a lot of like politics inside the game that are like just make it like so much so very rewarding to play because you actually learn a lot while you play it at the same time because even though the world doesn't work like that anymore

it's basically like somebody called it like a feudalism simulator. Oh, yeah. And that just remind me of my play through of Witcher 3, a couple of years back. I actually got what was considered to be the bad ending because I completely stayed out of all politics in the world. Like, I'm not interested in that. I'm here to kill monsters and do my thought. You guys figure it out.

And so because I skipped all of this, like I didn't go track down this sorceress that they wanted me to find because the king, wanted her, you know, had a bounty on her. So I was supposed to kill her and bring her head back, you know, that kind of thing. I'm a witcher. You're going to go fight this great evil. I'm like, well, I'm going to leave her alone. So just go do your own thing. And there was a plot to assassinate a king and I had to either choose help, help it, stop it,

or stay out of it. And I chose to stay out of it. So avoiding any world changing decisions gave me the bad ending. And that's a very interesting little window into the, how the developers think the world works. It's like, you know, if you have power, when you don't make decisions, then other people will.

And you're going to, you're going to get, you know, you're going to get an ending that you didn't choose for yourself. So it's very interesting. I didn't know it was a bad ending until someone told me. Because what was it? You know, spoilers. But Siri went into some portal and never, came out again. She went and she switched to some alternate world or or went went into some other

dimension. And I'm like, well, I mean, that's sad. We don't get to see her again. But who knows that wasn't where she was supposed to be? She had a mission to go do. And everything I was doing was to get her to that point where she could cross through that portal. Who says that's the bad. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I guess like, yeah, who does say it's, but I mean, I guess it just depends on how you play the game. Because if you, if you, if you play it a particular way, like I know one of my favorite games is fallout so there's always like a particular faction you can choose to end the game with or not in the game with and um i think i haven't even i think with fallout four i haven't even finished the game yet and part of the reason is because i'm so particular about what faction i want to

end the game with and like if you joined one particular faction and continue with them to a certain point it cuts you off from like all of the other factions so like but i'm also trying to gain particular perks from the one faction like because I like to have my armor a certain way so yeah I'm trying to find like the loopholes like I'll follow their quest line up to this point so I can get what I want but then I'm going to switch to these guys oh yeah I can get inside their base and then like I'm going to switch to these guys so it's like well there's some great reasons for that because like there are some if you want a game that is you know realistic is is an interesting way to put it it's all fantasy in that sense but a realistic

thing is if you make some decisions it precludes other decisions. Fair enough. You can't do both things at once when it's in either or situation. But then there's a what is it? What is it? It's also conveniently a bit tricky on the

part of the developers because they're like hey, if you want to see these other endings you're just going to have to play it more than once. They're like, I'm not replaying a game just to see alternate endings. I'm like, I'll just, you know what I'll do? I'll go to YouTube and I'll like alternate endings and I'll just watch them. But I'm not playing a game twice. Well,

there's been a couple of games I have played twice. Very, very few. The Bioshock series was one of them. Oh, yeah. I played the original and I played Infinite, but I never played Part 2. So this time I decided to go back and do the complete trilogy and play them in order. And it was good.

Bioshock 2 was also good. Yeah. And then Bioshock Infinite, I forgot so much about that game. If you give me 10 or 15 years, I'll forget everything and I can play a game like I've never seen it before. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the few. Some games I'll forget that I even actually played them.

Oh, yeah. Especially if I didn't like play through the rest of the series, like, that's kind of how Devil May Cry was. Like I kind of, I know I like started like the first one. I'm not sure if I like finished it entirely. But I know like the rest of the series I never got to. So I can like, it's one of the things I like to do is like replay like the original. to make sure I remember everything, like refresh my memory and everything, and then I can get to the rest of the stories I, like, missed. Yeah, that keeps me from playing some games because it's daunting.

Say, I had a recent experience. I had just finished streaming Just Cause 3. And there's a, they're like up to Just Cause 6 or something now. And my, my, what daunts me is, I, looking, it's, it's daunting looking at. at an entire series of like six games. I'm like, am I going to spend the next three months of my life playing this one series of games? But it also doesn't sit right with me to say jump in at episode three and just start there.

I'm like, because I don't know, because there's a backstory and lore. And there's a whole experience of watching the games develop over time and become something better or new or different. But I got recommended. He's like, you know,

what kind of games do you like? A friend of mine. And I said, well, you know, this type, you know, action, adventure, kind of like a little open world type of thing, too, but I want a storyline I can follow. And, um, and he's like, you know, you probably like just cause cause. I'm like, well, what's that about? He's like, no, I just play just cause three.

Just, don't worry about the whole greater lore. It's, it's its own self-contained thing. That's exactly how I was. I still, I think I still have just the original just cause because I wanted to, or maybe just cause too. I can't remember because I wanted to play them all. And then I, I think I started, I tried to play it and. Some of them are so bad. Well, I think what, what broke me of that in the beginning was when Witcher 3 was announced years ago, I was hyped. I'm like, this looks so good. And so in preparation for that, I bought the remaster of Witcher 1 and Witcher 2. And I made it maybe 25% of the way into Witcher 1. And I'm like, this is just terrible. This is the controls are awful. And it's same thing. Recently, I still have not started the Witcher yet. And I feel bad because I want

to see the rest of it. I might have to watch someone else play it just to get the story. I've resigned myself to that And I'm gonna have to start from like two or something Or I don't know because the controls I just I don't really like them at all They they did a much better I mean Witcher 3 deserves the hype

In my estimation really well Well crafted beautiful visually Good fighting system A lot more intuitive A lot less crazy What was I going to say Oh so that broke me of I always have to

play everything in the series just so I don't miss out on the lore and the experience like I don't have time for that So for you I would just recommend skip Skip one and two read read the Wikipedia page if you want to know what the plot was And then that's probably what I'm gonna do Yeah but you can also just jump into three

Knowing absolutely nothing you can say okay It's a medieval fantasy world there's magic and monsters I am a monster hunter Go just experience Yeah actually you don't need to know anything more than that basic What is a witcher and how does it work? Yeah. I just found out about the let's plays recently too.

So I might grab one of those because I do want to see like at least, you know, like the cut scenes and stuff. Like I want to know like I kind of want to be reminded of certain stuff. I like I do like playing through the series. I'm really, I'm like that with like TV shows and adaptations and stuff too. Like before I watch the new Devil May Cry adaptation, I got to watch the original anime adaptation myself. But I also want to play the game. So I'm like, I'm giving myself extra work. just so I can remember the story

It's true, it's true, yeah Well, and then it also Oh, that was the other thing I was going to say too As you said with the Near Automata and Near Replicant The prequel was actually made after Of course But

Well, the remake of the prequel was made Acqua after ironically enough Like I guess a lot of people just didn't know Yeah, I thought it was too A lot of people didn't know I guess that like I guess it most came out in Japan. It was called Near in Japan, like near Justthal's or whatever.

And then it came out here a long time ago as well, but like it just wasn't the same. And then when Neer Automata came out, it got like, you know, Raven reviews and everything. And then they ended up remaking it. Remaking. Okay. So it was actually the the game released before and story wise occurs before near automata. Yeah. It's just apparently like technically, I guess they're not related at all.

like apparently it's like 2,000 years later and the stories aren't like directly connected. Okay, gotcha. So that's the main difference. Yeah. But set in the same world. Yeah, it's set in the same world. Yeah. So apparently there are even older ones that it was based off of, like I said, like some series.

Well, I lost you. Let me make a, let me make a little note here. I think we're good. Oh, there you go. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah. Okay.

I don't know what just happened with Zoom, but. Right. definitely just kind of switched everything up. Hopefully my headphones stay on. If they don't, I have something I can switch to if me, so. I got the timestamp too. I'll go ahead and cut all that out. No need for five minutes of dead air.

Well, technical difficulties. Well, that may indeed have been the powers that be the grand source of the universe telling us get on with the dream stuff. That's what we're here for. I can't write. I can't write with you. I'm doing that.

You can't do it. Get up on my shoulder. Come here. Come here. Come be a shoulder cat. We'll see if she stays. Sort of. Okay.

So as per my usual process, I'm going to shut up and listen. Our friend Matari here is going to tell us about his dream. Then we're going to try and figure it out together. So I am ready when you are. Benjamin the dream wizard wants to help you. the veil of night and shine the light of understanding upon the mystery of dreams. Every episode of his dreamscapes program features real dreamers, gifted with rare insight into their nocturnal visions. New Dreamscape's episodes appear every week on YouTube, Rumble, Odyssey, and other video hosting platforms,

as well as free audiobooks exploring the psychological principles which inform our dream experience, and much, much more. To join the wizard as a guest, reach out across more than a dozen social media platforms and through the contact page at Benjamin the DreamWizard.com, where you will also find the wizard's growing catalog of historical dream literature available on Amazon, documenting the wisdom and wonder of exploration into the world of dreams over the past 2,000 years. That's Benjamin the Dream Wizard on YouTube and at Benjamin the Dreamwizard.com. So it's going to be a little tough because I started having these dreams a long time ago.

So I'm going to try to recall it as much as I can. So like kind of the first iterations of this dream I was having. It's tough to remember how we got there. I do remember that the basically the main theme of this dream is kind of I ended up at a Indian reservation, like kind of like a Native American reservation. I, it's tough to remember exactly how I got there. I think in some, because I had the dream multiple times, I think it was kind of different, a couple of different times.

But the main thing I do remember is that I think in one instance or a couple of instances, it was like a school field trip. And we were, I don't think we were intending to go to a reservation. I think it, or at least not a Native American reservation or anything, like more of a, kind of like a metro park or a you know just like a national park or whatever like a reservation for you know like nature not necessarily um uh natives or anything but uh we were and we've never actually gone on as far as i can remember right this is this is how often i was having this dream i've never actually gone on any uh field trips in any school or anything that was like really out in nature as far as I can remember. So I don't remember actually going on any field trips like this or even similar to this. So, but I actually, it's hard for me to tell whether or not I have because these dreams were

so frequent that, like, I'm like having these memories of having these dreams as a kid and I'm like, wait, did that actually happen or do I just like imagining that this happened? That can be tough. Yeah. How old were you when you felt like, when you had the first dream, you can kind of remember? or roughly? It's actually really hard to tell because I know, so one of the things that was most interesting about it, if I could start telling it a little bit about the dream.

Sure, sure. There was like a cave we went into. The main interesting part about this dream and when it kind of shifted and became like an interesting dream is, so there was some kind of cave we went to. I'm not sure if the cave was actually like a place that we were intended to go to. from what I can remember I kind of wandered into this place like on my own

and I may have had somebody else with me I don't think I had anybody else with me and one of the ironic things is there may have been other people there but I may have not been supposed to go into

where I went and there may have been people that went into this like little cave or whatever before because And obviously this is a dream, so it's not like that is actually the case. I'm just assuming this about the dream because I found a Game Boy game that I hadn't been able to find for a very long time that happened to be like on, I think like on the floor of this cave or like the wall of this cave or something. And so like I actually I love this game. was one of my favorite game boy games. It's called Golden Sun. And I, uh, I don't remember,

because I played this game when I was such a young kid, like, uh, I'm talking like elementary school age, uh, up until I actually, you know, I used to get emulators for it and everything too. So, but the last time I had, it had to be pretty young. I think because the last time I even had a game boy was, um, like elementary school. Uh, sometime in that. elementary school because I broke it. So I didn't end up having it that long. But I still dreamed about it and thought about it after it was broken. Like I said, you know, I played it on emulators and stuff since then and everything.

But, and I also ended up getting like, you know, a DS and everything. But I never actually played it again until I got. So I think I was thinking maybe, I think it was high school. Might have been high school or middle school by the next. time I actually played the game because then I figured out that you could download emulators on a computer and play the game even if you didn't you know own it um so I think it was when I was uh in elementary school maybe maybe middle school but I think it was still elementary school maybe around like a fifth or sixth grade or

something but like I said we never had any any field trips like this or anything it was it was really a kind of a weird dream but so like one of the interesting things about it is that Like I said, the reservation we went to or whatever, or the reason I remember it as a reservation, right? I'm not even sure if it was supposed to be a trip to a reservation. I think it was really just supposed to be like a trip to like a park or whatever, like, you know, kind of like a metro park or whatever. We have metro parks in my area, like a lot of them actually. And so it wouldn't be the first time that we maybe had a field trip to like maybe a metro park or like, you know, our zoo is named after the metro park as well. So it wouldn't be the first time we, like, had some kind of field trip like that.

But this one was like distinctly, I remember, one of the things I remember is that the road to travel there was on a highway that I traveled on, like, a lot as a kid, like, going back and forth from home and downtown. So, like, even if it's not like an actual route to an actual place, which, you know, for all I know, I might actually. actually be dreaming about a place that exists. There wasn't any real memories of going to any place like this, but there were some natives that

I guess I ran into in this dream. And I think this might have been after I found this random game that I lost. And the reason that I think that I'm just kind of speculating why I found it. I've always

thought that the reason I saw this game in a dream is because I always was thinking about it. And I was so upset that I, because originally when I first played it, it was my cousin's game. It wasn't a game that I actually owned for a long time. But I think once I eventually got my own, you know, Game Boy and, you know, my parents took me to GameStop. I managed to find it in GameStop at one point. And I actually owned the game myself for a while. But I think I'd borrowed it from my cousin as well and ended up having to give it back at some point as well.

So, you know, there was like, there were a lot of times where I wished that I could have played the game as a kid. Like I had other games to play and everything, but this is like the game I always wanted to go back and play because it was just one of my favorites. It was a really rare gym that I kind of think is slept on to this day. But beyond that, after I found this area, and I think there might have been some other things in this. little area of the cave that I found or whatever. That's just the most notable thing I can remember from the dream. I think I kind of explored a little deeper into the cave. And then I ended up finding, I think, kind of like some artifacts and decorations and things.

And then all of a sudden I end up, you know, on basically like a reservation. Like I guess I crossed over into an area I wasn't supposed to be in and ended up on the reservation. and all of a sudden I'm like, I'm in front of like this, this chief of a, this like tribe and I'm talking and conversing with these people in his tribe. And I'm like, I was like,

wow, like I didn't even know this was over here. I had no idea about any of this out here. But I'm like, also why was there a video game in their, in their cave? Like, had somebody been here before? Like, is it just like not real? And this is one of those instances where like,

you know, the dream kind of becomes like somewhat losing. it because like even as a kid I'm just like there's no way like I actually like you know have this game I think when I woke up it's one of those times where you like you wake up and you remember that you like found something that you wish you had but then when you wake up you don't have it like I had a lot of dreams like that where I like I make a lot of money or whatever and then I wake up and it's like you don't you don't have any money so it was one of those kind of dreams at the same time, but I do remember, like, I had it a couple times where, like, we went to, like, some field trip to this area and I ended up in this cave. And, like, different things always

happen when I go into this cave, whatever, but one of the main things I remember is, like, you know, running into this, this native tribe and then, like, talking to me and, like, teaching me little things about them. And, uh, I remember coming away from the dream. Like, it's just, like, really, really weird. Have I ever actually been to this place before? And that's and unfortunately because it was so long ago, that's the most I can remember about that particular iteration of the dream, right? Gotcha. And then you said it changed lately. So the dream came back, but it was different.

What was the most recent one? Yeah. So the most recent one is ironically enough, it did not start out the same way at all. So I was an adult, obviously. So it was actually kind of reflecting like me being at a completely different stage in my life. you know, this is after, like, you know, we talked about the things that happened with, like, with my ex earlier. So it was actually even after that point in my life.

Okay. So it's back when I was, after I'd moved out, it wasn't living with my ex anymore. And I don't, I actually can't remember where I was to start out. I can't, I can't remember that in either of the iterations, like, where exactly I was. I just know in the original ones, it was some kind of field trip or maybe even like a family trip to like the park or something. But this one in particular, I can't remember where I was, but I met a girl. And a lot of the dream was actually focused around a girl this time.

And this was actually, this was not too long after I broke up with my ex. It might have been like maybe a year after, half a year after, not extremely sure when it was. I just know it was after. But it was a decent amount of time after. Like I'd been single for a while. And I'd actually even had like another short relationship after that where we weren't exactly an item, but we were kind of dating for a little while. And this girl, she was also typically not like what was, I guess I would consider my type. I don't really have a type.

But like she was like she was either Native American or like Middle Eastern. like she had like you know kind of like very brown skin but not like not brown like mine but like a lot more more tanish but she also from what I could see like her features were definitely maybe a little closer to Middle Easter which is like what I say like maybe not necessarily normally my type definitely not what I'd normally say or think that I'm like interested in so that was one of the interesting things about it and I don't I can't remember exactly where I was, where we met, but I do know, like, a big part of this dream was, like, and the way this dream started out was me meeting this girl

and really hitting it off with this girl. And then I think we, I can't remember exactly if, like, I just randomly suggested we go to this place or we just ended up, like, you know, going on a date or whatever. if I recall correctly, I think it was like her idea. Like she wanted to go somewhere. She wanted to show me something. And we end up going and I'm like, wow, I know that, remember I told you that the

paths to this place is always on like a familiar highway that I've traveled on as a kid and everything, right, throughout my life, multiple different times. So I was like, you know, on the way there, I'm like, wow, like this, this looks so familiar. like I feel like I know where we're going, right? Like in the gym, like, I know where we're going. This is like, like, how does she know this place? Right? I think, and I'm thinking like, you know, where are we going?

Like I can't actually think in my head where it is we're going. But, you know, once we get there and everything, I'm like, oh, wow. Like I knew there was something familiar about that road. And like now we're back here and we're like, we're at this cave somehow. Like, so I'm like, I don't we're back at this cave or whatever. and she wants to, like, you know, explore the cave or whatever. I'm like, I was like, I remember this area. Like, we should go into this cave, whatever.

Like, I met these, I met this tribe and everything. Like, I think I was telling her about, like, the tribe or whatever that I met and everything. And I wanted to show her it. So we go through the cave and everything. But this time, everything's different. Like, you know, it's basically just an empty cave for the most part. And there's, like, nothing there. And I'm like, wow.

like I remember there being stuff here before. I remember there being like, you know, this tribe here before and everything. And I'm like, I have no idea. Like, I don't know where they went and everything. And then, you know, we get to like the other side where, you know, I ran into them and everything. And we get outside. So I guess like basically the other side of the cave. And there's like a cookout going on.

But it's not just any random cookout apparently. it's like a cookout with family members and church members that I know because I was extremely involved in church when I was a kid. My mom used to always make us go to church with her. And I used to have a lot of church members that I just, I knew their names, faces, everything, right? And there were like a lot of my family members there as well. Like mostly my immediate family, but there are like family members there as well.

And I was just like, wait, what's going on here? And it's like, I remember the girl that I didn't know that I just like basically met. It was her idea to come here and everything. So like I have no idea, which is, it's kind of ironic I, because I don't really go to church anymore. And I haven't been to too many family events in the last couple years either. So, you know, it's not even as if I was. would know if they had like scheduled something and were supposed to be there you know what i mean it was that's how random it was it was like yeah i don't really um i don't i don't i didn't know that

they were going to be here i didn't expect them to be here because you know i i just i don't even really keep up that much of what everybody's doing like i probably family stuff more than anything but um i'm probably more likely to know about like some church stuff that's going on because uh a lot of time they'll ask me to come or show up and i'll be like eh no no I don't really want to. But it was, yeah. Yeah, it was really weird, though, because I was just like, what, like, what are the chances that they would be here? And it's kind of weird.

And then, like, you know, they're like, oh, hey, we didn't expect to see you here. You know, obviously, and everything. And I'm just like, well, yeah, but I'm also, I'm not alone, right? So I'm with this girl, and they're all like, so I'm like, well, I actually, oh, I actually, I know these guys. So like, I'm like, I don't, like, I was also sitting there thinking like, like, like, where is the tribe? Like, when did this become like, you know, like a picnic area? Like, could I just like imagine all that tribe stuff when I was here before?

Because obviously, like I'm in a dream. But like I said, I also don't know like, you know, if I've ever been to this place before. So like every like in the dream, I'm like, was this a dream? It kind of felt like inception like inside the dream because I'm like, Was this a dream? Was that dream? Like, it just is like a shift in the dream. Like, I kind of was noticing that, like,

something wasn't right at this time. But also, the main thing about the dream is that I was enjoying my time with this girl. So I kind of just kept, went along with it and was like, well, you know, I'm with this girl. This is my family, you know. This is this church member. This is this church member. Hey, how you doing?

you got, you know, meat and everything, they're eating and stuff. And then I go, um, then, like, I go back into, like, the cave. And, like, the ironic thing is that this time when I go back into, like, the cave, it's, like, it's not really like a cave. It's got, like, a bunch of food and tables and stuff with, like, you know, plastic wear and napkins and stuff. Like, like, everybody put all their stuff in the cave and, like, this, like, little, uh, area. of the cave to um to to to to to go back and get stuff for the um for the cookout and everything and I'm just like wait when did this all change like did we not walk past this when we came in here

like like the dream was like transforming transforming before my eyes and I was realizing like yeah what's going on here and uh so like it I mean it basically just continued like kind of um like a like a good good like night out like a cookout part party and everything. And one of the things I do remember is the main thing I take away from that dream is I actually woke up thinking about how much a good time I had with that girl. And I can't even remember fully how the dream ended. I know we kind of went our separate ways after. And because my family ended up being there or whatever, you know, I kind of, I think I got ended up uh she ended up leaving on her own and i just kind of stayed with them um but um it was uh it was really interesting because i i when i woke up i was hurting a bit like kind of like the same way i said like you know i was uh when i woke woke up about the game um and i get it wasn't the main thing about the dream but one of the things i remember that i had acquired like i

found this this whole little i just happened to find this game boy game on the ground that i really wanted that I did not actually have at the time when I woke up I was like no you don't actually have it kind of like those dreams where you know you wake up and make a lot of money but you don't actually have any of that money it's made and it's supposed to dream um I woke up and I was kind of like upset like I was kind of heartbroken because um that girl was not real and that like I realized I was like oh wow that was a dream yeah um and that's the first time I've ever had anything like that happened in a dream like I've never felt like I fell in love in a dream before and I mean it's quite literally um I guess you could say my dream girl but I've honestly just never had an

experience like that before so it was it was like it was a painful experience but it was also something where I was like wow I don't I don't even know what to think about this dream like and the fact that it was tied in with that other dream that I had kind of forgotten about but then I recognized certain elements of it and like you know the tribe wasn't there anymore but like there was this girl who like somehow knew about the same place and he ended up in the same place and all of a sudden I ran into my family and I'm just like I don't like I'm like and church people and it's just like just very very weird it was very weird and nostalgic like the dream was nostalgic the um the the

people there were nostalgic, the experience was nostalgic, because it's kind of been a while since I've been to a family cookout. Um, so yeah, it was just, it was, it was all really interesting and strange. It is. It is. And I think I see or feel a theme connecting the two. Um, what I was putting together in my mind as you were talking is, how do I say this as a, as a narrative. So there's an experience from your childhood. Um, and you, you, you, identified it as late elementary, early middle school. Fine. That's, uh, you know, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. Somewhere in there. Uh, this experience you had with a game, a game that got that, it was, but it isn't really about the game as much as the experience itself is,

is, is what I was getting is the idea of the game, the law, the law, of the game, the missing, the missing experience that you, that you were denied, the, the thing you wanted that was lost or taken from you, um, and how that crystallized in your mind as, as a, as a thing that came to you in your dream. So there's, if we look at that kind of metal level, there's a lot of things in life where we miss out on something or something's absent that we want. And so it's no surprise that this experience that was very emotionally, impactful and very solid in your memory. You'll never forget and it, you know what that feeling was like and you didn't like it and you don't want to experience it again. Very, very reasonable that

that would become iconic of lost opportunities, missing experiences, things that are absent from your life that you wish were not, such as I'd really kind of like to be in a relationship. So, you know, instead of going into the cave and finding the, um, uh, the game, that you really wanted. This is, this goes very much towards the Freudian wish fulfillment side of analysis, which, you know,

each, not every dream, but some dreams. And this one seems to fit that, fit that mold. You know, so your dream showed you what you were missing and gave it back to you. Because now you can be happy.

And it's very interesting in that earlier dream that where did that take you? It took you through this cave out the other side. And caves are all often very, it's the dark, unexplored, hidden, contained. You dive in dungeons to find treasure. So that's kind of where I'm going with that kind of a thing. And, you know, being a fantasy fan from a young age,

no surprise that the idea of going into a cave and finding treasure would fit very nicely. But then that the cave itself, the acquisition of the treasure wasn't the point. The treasure serves a different purpose. And where it took you to the other side was meeting this tribe that was, welcoming friendly you spoke with them you met the elders and whatnot so the try and i'm kind of seeing a combination of that like we we say um let's say you're a kid and you uh and you love comic books and one day you meet another kid and he's like oh yeah i got three or four other friends and

we all read comics too once you come with i found my people we we say that you know it's all these are my people comic book nerds that's like that's great we could we can talk about all the comics. Same with video gaming. You find your community. So that that word kind of popped into my head, too, with all this stuff. So on the other side, you found, you know, and as a kid, we, what is it? You can stop me any time. I go, yeah, that's not it, you know, but there's concepts we get like, and I remember this from being a kid too, is that we think of other groups of people as different from our own current cultural settings. So we use those groups, even if it's the same, Even we have a culture, they have a culture.

We have a group. They have a group. Whatever. But we look at that as like, we mythologize it or some way. Like, especially probably when you were a kid and I was a kid, a lot of the stories they tell us about Native Americans are not how they all scalped each other, which they did quite frequently in America. But how we get the myth of the noble savage where they were wiser and more connected to nature. So they would stand, even if that isn't exactly true universally, they weren't perfect. They weren't some mythic lost perfection.

of mankind way back in the day. We get that image in our mind sometimes. And so what it is about, there's dots connecting that. Because I do also, I mean, I did find out at a certain point that I have some Native American in my blood. So I'm not exactly sure when these started. My lost people literally, yeah.

Yeah, I do because I have, it's actually pretty close, like my great-grandfather. Oh. My grandmother, a great grandfather, actually both sides, I think. And one of my grandmothers on another side had, like a, I got a decent amount of Native American in my blood, like full blood Native Americans, only like a generation or two away. And even though they weren't like super connected to the tribe or anything, I have kind of been trying to find out more as I get older. But I'm just kind of getting sidetracked by life, you know.

but yeah I did I found out like around those times when I was like a you know in elementary school I think maybe more around like fifth or sixth grade is when I was becoming more aware of it um but yeah I definitely kind of was aware at a certain point definitely that I had some of something out of my blood so there was like you know kind of an ancestor feel to it at the same time definitely yeah it's one of those things where it's like it's like finding a lot well lost connection to my people, my tribe, my community, that kind of a thing, you know, as a way of defining myself, but finding other people similar to me and understanding what that means, who am I in this context? I was going somewhere with that, too, the idea of, okay, I was going to go, I was going to go back a little bit further and try to just roll through that original description of the dream. So, um, there's an interesting thing going on there, too, is I was on a field trip, you say. We were going somewhere, and it was intended to maybe, you know, you thought the destination was going to be just some kind of regular nature preserve or park or something to enjoy.

But then you find out that there's this, a hidden. So, okay, and it's a school field trip. So why is that? So school is very often, well, or it's one big window into the world where we learn new things. And I would say it's not the primary one, but it's a significant one. mostly it's our friends and the people around us as we just live our lives that community we're in physically the neighborhood shows us what the world is uh or gives us a formative impression of what the world is um so there's a there's a connection of um school

maybe standing in as a as a broader representation of being taught new things or introduced to new concepts you can take in places you've never been before and what you if that make sense. And what you find there is a, you know, the purpose was not to go to this cave and maybe nobody even knew the cave was there, but you discovered it. So inside the context of being taught something new, being brought on a field trip to learn about the world, you discover a hidden portion of that which contains something, magically contained something missing from your life that is very important to you. In your childhood brain said, oh, that's like if I've found that game again, the game that I really want, whatever I'm, whatever I feel is missing, it's as

important to me or it fills the whole of emptiness that I feel in relation to that game. So the game becomes a stand in that, that metal level for the idea of finding missing happiness or finding something that, some, some absent empty portion that you can fill with meaning, purpose, joy, just all, standing for all kinds of things. It's the best game ever, underrated, you know, even to the state, you can hang on to that feeling. And you may have, have you played it? Did you track it down and play it? Are you leaving that a magical mystery from the past?

I'm actually, no, I found out that later on that they had a sequel that came out. And then they, uh, I actually haven't finished it yet, but I got an emulation for the one that they had a sequel that came out on DS, a sequel to the sequel, uh, where they had, where all the characters had kids and the story continued. it's called Golden Sun. And the second one was Golden Sun Lost Age and like I'm still trying to play Golden Sun Dark Dawn now.

Does it kind of hold up or he's like, man, this is still good? Yes, yes, it is. I'm actually surprised how well the DS emulator works on my phone. Very cool. I'm doing it on using the little touchscreen that's like the DS style.

Well, that's nice because sometimes you go back to that nostalgic stuff and you go, oh, this was really good when I was a kid but it's not good at all. Those are so disappointing. Okay, fair enough. Well, good. I always wonder why people liked Final Fantasy and not this game so much.

I always wonder why it didn't get like more adaptations and like, you know, more recognition. Like, you know, like representation and stuff like Smash Bros or whatever, because it was a Nintendo game. Yeah. They technically do. You can, like, I think the Me, Sword Fighter and Smash Bros. you can, they actually have like a skin for the me sword fighter. That's one of the characters from the game. So they kind of incorporated it later on, but a lot of people don't notice it, actually.

Yeah, that's a mystery to me sometimes, too. Like, why did one game become really popular? And another game that's actually better didn't. And sometimes certain things just grab people's attention. And if you have two things that are similar in the same period of time, they really just focus on one and say, okay, well, this one's the best. And, you know, individually, we might disagree.

But, okay, so we got that going on there. So we've got all these different representations of like, knowledge and learning in being introduced to new things by a field trip. Like you don't schedule the field trip and pick the destination. They show it to. You're guided to knowledge. And it takes you through the cave to where you meet this. Now, this isn't interesting because we talked about, you know,

prophecy and what a prophets of science fiction, that kind of thing. This was during your childhood when you, you had no idea you might have, native blood in some degree or did you always know that from an early age? I'm not entirely sure. I do remember, like, I guess if I did know

when I first started to really take notice to it and pay attention to it was when it was mentioned to me because my grandmother, I think it might have been in fifth grade. Okay. My great-grandmother passed away.

And I think I remember my grandmother, her daughter telling me that on her side of the family, you know, that we were like a Greek Indian or Creek Indian. So at the time, I was like a little confused like with what she meant by that exactly. But then I also learned that on my dad's side, ironically enough that they had my great grandfather was a twin. and he was a full-blood Native American, but he was also a twin. So that, like, you know, we had a whole-nother side to our family that I didn't,

I wasn't really familiar with because they had, like, you know, moved to a different area and they weren't living in the same state anymore. But, yeah, it was basically like, I own other branch to the family because my great-grandfather was a twin and they were full-blood Native Americans.

Okay. Gotcha. So you may have known of it at the time this dream was introduced, and that may be the reason for it. So why? Why, why, where this thing's related? So there's something about an educational experience that's, that you, that is served up to you.

You're brought to, to learning something new. In there, you discover there isn't even, there's even, there's more treasure here than I thought. There's actually something very important. It's in this cave. You see, go get the treasure in the cave. And it's this old game. And the process of discovering the cave, braving the darkness. the desire to explore what you what that's rewarded by is being given back something absent

from the past something or discovering something that has very significant personal meaning to you and that for some reason that concept of personal meaning it's like you so you push through and on the other side of that is discovering a tribe a literal tribe of ancestors perhaps that gives you a connection to a community Um, so there's like, uh, pursuing meaning having this meaningful outcome, um, you know, pursue what is it? I don't know if you can find a better way to say that. Like what is that? What is that?

What is that? How we describe that better? Uh, I don't know. Sometimes I don't have the right words. I think that's kind of, I think that's actually a good way to put it like, or like a search, search for meaning or, you know, discovering, uh, lost ancestry, something like that. lost hair. And then there's,

it's like you actually get to meet them. It's like by seeking out something that's meaningful to you, it gives you a better connection to your, to a lost community type of thing. You're rediscovering a connection. And there's, and I can say, go ahead.

There's also kind of, like a connection to what you were saying about, like, kind of how, how we kind of see these things, uh, in history, like,

uh, these kind of caricatures or whatever, like, uh, of natives and everything. And the, uh, the ironic thing about like the game that I found in like the cave is that it's it's one of those like RPGs you know turn based RPGs it's kind of like like I said it's really similar like Final Fantasy but one of the interesting things about the story is that it like it kind of one of the main things that kind of drew me into it early on was like there was this thing called the Soul Sanctum very early on in the game where like these uh these particular uh I guess you

could say, items that were extremely important to, like, the state of the world were kept, and then they were, like, released. Like,

one of the major things that kind of gets the story, the ball rolling in the story is that, you know, you're kind of just exploring, uh, this cave with like, uh, some,

this guy in the village who is a, like a scholar or whatever, right? They're helping him discover, like, you know, certain things. And,

um, then you eventually come across something that shakes up the world, and then now you have to go out in quest, and that's basically how it all starts. So it's also like a kind of an interesting thing there, where, like, you start out kind of in caves in that game, like, going through like this, you know, this underground sanctum, it's under like a mountain or whatever,

and then you end up discovering something that you weren't necessarily supposed to, or expecting to discover. That's a meta-metta shit. So inside the cave, inside the dream is a, is a representation of something where there's also a journey into a cave that gets the ball rolling and takes you out into the world. That's, ooh, that's good. That's good. Well, so what's the, excuse me, what's the similarity between this one and the next one? The game has been replaced by, or the quest for the game.

The satisfying reward of a game is actually changed now. into not not the dream girl itself, the concept of the dream girl, but a satisfying, connected personal relationship with a girlfriend, a partner, a life partner, and an ideal one,

one that you found in the dream, attractive, interesting, you enjoyed spending time with her. There was a, I don't know if you mentioned, you know, feeling like you were in love with her

or something like that. Was that part of it? The cat's laying on my hands. Yeah. Yeah, I can't, I can't remember like enough of it to know exactly why I do, I do remember like having that feeling when I woke up though. Like I was like, wow, that was like too perfect. Yeah, yeah.

I had a dream I remember and it was just the briefest moment from that dream. I was in the back seat of a car driving up a windy mountain road where it was like one side's the mountain, one side's a cliff down into a forest. And in the backseat next to me was Marilyn Monroe. And this might have been when I was way. younger and I realized for the first time of my life I'd seen her artistic nudes and I'm like okay she's kind of hot

and then of course I have a dream where I'm in the back seat of a car no driver I could tell nothing else about the dream and nothing else really happened but I was just in the car with her we're going to some destination together and I'm like lucky me she's but I do remember

like she's hot in this dream one of the few things I can remember like but that's just like not even a dream it's hardly a dream at all is that snippet. So I get you on that one. But so the circumstances have changed. There's still there's still this element of a quest. But rather than the experience of school introducing you to this location, what brings you

back is this girl, is your relationship with her. She brings you back and you either realize, hey, this is the same place. That's the cave and you decide to go in together. or she knew a little long. The idea is that she brought you there in the same way that school brought you there. So there's some connection to expanding your mind, learning, understanding, growing,

perhaps that's represented by this relationship with this gal. And inside the cave, it's very different because the treasure, the treasure's not there. The treasure is not there to be found in the same way the game was. So you're not, you're not looking for the same kind of treasure, or so you can't find the treasure you're actually looking for now in the same cave that you were in before. What am I trying to say? I think the, that is basically, uh, you go ahead. You could take a second.

Got it. All right. Pick it up where we left off there. So I was going somewhere with that, the idea of, um, so the, it isn't. the girl that brought you there, it's what she represents. And of course, the treasure you're looking for now that you're older, it's not in the cave anymore, but you still have to pass through the cave and you get to the other side. And this is where my brain was starting to go, pah, what that stuff is like initially when you were younger,

what you found was the idea of tribal connection of like, okay, I'm connected to these people from the past. And this is how they lived. They were a community, a tribe. And what you find this time passing through the cave is something very similar. You find the cookout with your neighbors and the church people. That is its own, that is your mind's representation of your current tribe in a way. If that makes sense, like these are my people.

Because that's your- Yeah, it was my family and like, you know, a lot of the church people I went to church with when I was a kid. And I don't even, and the funny thing is, you know, my parents go to a different church now. ironically actually even you know back then my dad didn't really go to church with us too often but he doesn't more now and him my mom go to like a different church but back then we went to a specific church we're still connected to them actually uh I still know a lot of them but uh haven't

seen them in a long time you know they haven't even been back to that church for a while so that that was another interesting thing about it um yeah and and so uh you can be you Again, comparing and contrasting in a way to the original dream, it's not like you went through the cave and said, oh, I wish I was Indian. You know, I wish I was a member of this tribe. It's more the idea of finding that connection to an understanding of what it means to be a tribe using this example. So, and again, the same way as you were mentioning, I don't really like to go out too much. And I would say, I got me too. I'm like a hermit.

So, but I like the idea that I have a community out there somewhere, like-minded people who share my values or, or care about my well-being. That's, that's nice, but I don't really want to see people like, I don't go to church because I don't want to get up and leave the house

and deal with people every Sunday or have to learn their names or learn their life and their problems. I just want to be left alone to kind of think my thoughts. So that's, this is my thing. But that doesn't mean I want to be isolated. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want to have no one care about me or know that I exist.

That's, I don't think any human can really tolerate that very, well. Yeah. So if we look at them the same way in the first dream, it wasn't like you were trying to become an Indian or join that tribe necessarily. You were looking at that. And this one too, it isn't like you're, well, maybe I shouldn't say that.

But my initial thought was it isn't like you're actually saying, I miss this and I wish I were a part of it. And then as soon as that idea popped in, I said, well, maybe you were. Maybe that's actually part of it. Maybe there's an internal struggle with you. Go ahead. Yeah. It might be because, I mean, I definitely, so I guess you could say I had a, I definitely had a, a atheist phase that I kind of went through.

So I definitely, at a certain point, like I didn't, I stopped going to church, you know, finally convinced my mom that's, you know, stopped forcing me to go to church. And then eventually, like, you know, I was an adult and I didn't have to go. And I never, you know, sought it out or anything. But I did have more of a, I did kind of. back to, you know, have like kind of, I guess you could say, a religious awakening. But it didn't steer me, like, directly back to Christianity or anything. I definitely good to appreciate it more and what it offered, especially as, like, you know, the older I got. Ironically enough, like I said, this was about, like, you know, at least a year or almost a year after,

I'd, you know, been with my previous ex and I'd had like, you know, another relationship after for a short while that wasn't like an official relationship, but ironically enough, I mean, my ex was an atheist. And then the girl I was talking to after her kicking it with, I was, she was raised Catholic and hadn't left that, but wasn't like super involved in it herself. So there was like a, there was definitely like a big change. You know, know, after I wasn't with my ex anymore, I ended up back with my parents. So there's like, there's kind of a connection there to where like I ended up, you know, back with my parents.

And then I ended up, you know, with talking to a girl for a while that was more aligned with kind of who I grown up, grown to be. And one of the reasons that even, you know, my previous relationship started to not work out as well because, you know, there became like more of a difference in values. the older I got as I grew out of that kind of more rebellious I guess you could say

atheist phase when I really started like you know thinking about things and you know I'd say I'm more of like a deist now I'm not like in any particular like a part of any particular you know belief system or anything but I definitely shirked off a lot of the

views I used to have the ways I used to look at the world definitely you could say come home a bit more like spiritually and like physically. Yeah, that's, you see me cracking a big smile here. Like that's, that's been my journey too. Like I went from atheists to kind of anti-theist for a while, feeling like, you know, church is all, it's oppressive and what's,

what's with these, you know, rules and whatnot. And now in my later years, I'm a little more on the deist side of things, but I'm also developed a better appreciation for Christianity in particular, the idea of, well, You know, now if you just like, I think Jordan Peterson had a big effect on that. If you just look at these biblical stories as evolutionary psychology. This is how people learned what we, humans learn what we are and how we function together socially. And then they wrote down the stories and passed it on and said, hey, maybe if you don't do these things, you'll have better outcomes on average than if you do these things.

So maybe some of these boundaries and limitations are probably for the best in general. just and you know, blew me away too. So I haven't joined a church and I probably won't. But, you know, and I don't know that I'm going to become a Christian after not being one for, you know, almost 50 years.

But, but now I'm definitely on that on that. I have a better appreciation for it. I get, I get it now more than I did when I was a kid, which is pretty funny. It's a, then there's a whole,

what is it, the prodigal son type of thing. It's like, yeah, you gotta leave the house and get, get away from your parents rules and go experience the world. And then eventually you probably come back and say, hey,

you guys were, your parents, love hearing this. You were right about a whole bunch of stuff. So yeah. You're right. Sorry to be a little shithead when I was a kid. I've actually said that to my parents too of like, I was such a handful. And they're like, ah, you were okay. I felt like it was a holy terror and caused them endless stress. Uh, yeah, well, there's a good thing. It's a bad thing to that too. It's good. Let's say you have two, you're raising, especially

girls. You're basically raising two little girls. And one is the most calm and quiet and thoughtful and considerate. And she, she's very sensitive and cries when other people are in pain. And then you've got another girl and she is a holy terror and she will not do what she's told and she won't keep her clothes clean, you know, her Sunday dress, she'll go play in the mud puddle and she doesn't listen to a damn thing you say. There's a, there's an irony is, is that, uh, the girl who's much more willful and strongheaded, she's probably not going to be as likely to let other people manipulate her or get

herself into trouble because she's trying to be nice or she's not trusting her. gut when a situation seems dangerous. She's going to speak up. She's a little more aggressive, assertive, you know, in that regard, a little less agreeable. She, that kind of think of that, you know, it's, but you take that analogy and you say, you know, the kids who's, who's a little bit more of a handful, a little more willful and defiant and headstrong, and she's probably going to be okay because she's not going to let people take advantage of her.

The other one, you better try to help her find a good husband who's also kind and is not going to take advantage of her because, you know, she'll be vulnerable to all kinds of please for sympathy and compassion and manipulation. So it's different struggles for different personality types. That was completely that type of kid. No, I mean, it's actually, it's kind of in line. Okay. I think I remember one of my old coworkers saying, you know, when I told them I was the youngest

in my family that, oh, they were like, oh, the youngest one's always a Maverick. I was like, what does that mean? You know, I had to go look up the definition of Maverick. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know. I kind of understood it, but like I had to go look it up. And I was like, oh, I mean, I guess that does kind of describe me. You know, I kind of went out, kind of did my own thing, you know.

Also, I guess, you know, they say, like, parents kind of get, you know, they've been through it so many times. They kind of take more of a hands-off approach, I guess, you know, with the youngest. A little less helicoptering. Once they realize it's not that hard to keep them alive. And I definitely branched off kind of a little bit more of my own way. I mean, I think me and my sister were both, like, you know, I guess generally, you know, a little bit, we're both kind of a little rebellious, but I was probably definitely more so than one that went out and did a little bit more differently.

I can definitely say my sister, as far as I know, never had an atheist face. But I also think that a lot of mine was just really having, like being forced to go to church as well I felt like, you know, I mean, because it kind of was, you know, like I said, my dad didn't always go to church with us. So like, you know, I always felt like, well, you know, it's not like there's not. anybody at home. It's like, you know, it's not like I have to go every time. And I also think it was it was because of how much time we tended to spend there. I don't know if your parents are religious at all when you were a kid, but there's like a difference between the way Protestants

do church, different Protestant sex do church and Catholics do church. You know, some people just have like, you know, traditional Latin Mass. It's just, you know, morning Sunday school, mass, and then everybody goes home. But in a lot of like, you know, Protestant, especially Protestant black churches. A little more, a little more dancing in the aisles. Yeah, it tend to be a little bit more like time there too as well. Like, you know, sometimes you be like there almost all day.

Yeah. And, you know, they go from the sermon to the church potluck and it's all, and then you're there until dinner time. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's like, you know, when you're in school, especially, and you only have your weekends. that's like half your weekend right there.

Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Especially as a kid. You're like, I just, I just want to play my video games. Why I got to be here. Yeah, yeah. That was definitely me too. And then, you know, you have to go to bed early so you weren't like falling asleep.

And I was always falling asleep. Like for me, I just, you know, it doesn't matter how interested I was. Like there were times where I could like stay up, you know, the host servers. And there was like, you know, something interesting enough going on to where I couldn't sleep. But, you know, I'd fall asleep while the choir was singing while the preacher was. like screaming into the microphone, I'd just be like, those off, you know, no matter how much sleep I had. Yeah, me too.

If I was bored, I'm just, I'm out. I don't want to be here. Yeah, yeah, my body just, you know, just, uh, I started to think I was a narcoleptic. I can sleep through anything at this. I just normal border. Yeah, like, yeah. You got to tell.

I mean, just jumping up and down and screaming is, it's great. That's a good performance. We've got to tell an interesting story, too. So I don't know. Like, who might have give preachers advice? I mean, I don't know what I'm. doing but um so here's here's the connection that was so as a kid you conceptualized finding your people by a certain process finding a community or tribe and as an adult you're looking at a different

process but so the thought that came to my mind was that um there's metaphors that we we get as part of our culture and one of them is you know diving deeper to see what's underneath and there's um cave can also can can very very often be that representation. You have to go into the underground place to find what is beneath the specific thing you think you're looking for, but it's really representative of something else. So it seems like what you were looking for there is, it feels like you're looking for the rewarding partnership with a female companion. in that that is, you want that relationship. But what's underneath it is this connection to a broader sense of belonging in a, in a community and finding your place there, you know, kind of defining yourself by, you know,

who am I in this context? And we use other people to tell us who we are in a sense. Like we know on the inside, but then we get that reflection too. It's like you can't see the back of your head. You need a mirror or you need someone else to stand behind you and say, this is haircut look even. you know, that kind of thing. Jesus can't see it with your own eyes directly in front of you.

So a lot of that works psychologically too with people as we, we, uh, you know, we'll go, Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Or, hey, do you think I made a mistake in that situation or, hey, tell me what you think of me? What do you see that I'm not seeing maybe? So we rely on other people to keep us sane and to help us understand who we are in, in relationship to, to other people. So it seems like, uh, that may have been.

The purpose of the original dream and then the reason why it changed now is like you're having this conversation with yourself. Say, what's important to me? What do I want out of life? What's missing? What am I working towards? And part of it is, you know, I want a good relationship with a good woman and I want that to be nested in my broader spiritual beliefs and and physical neighborhood community of people that I live with. that's what I'm getting that's what coming through to me if uh if that makes sense to you

or if you have a different perspective on it am i missing things you want to enhance or alter that's actually like the funny thing is that like kind of explaining the dream and like kind of going through both of them uh i start to like discover more the more i was like kind of going through it and explaining what it was and i was actually kind of thinking the same thing as i um as i as i as i told you about the dream i'm like well this is actually kind of like Like, it's kind of like the dream was telling me, like, what I wanted and kind of what I wanted out of a woman by, like, you know, inserting all of these particular things into the dream. And, you know, even though, like, ironically enough, you know, it was like the tribe I found when I was younger. And this little game I found when I was younger.

It's kind of, it's like I found something else. But I found it before I went to the cave. And then, like, she's the one who brought me back to this cave and allowed me to, like, like, you know, like kind of reintegrate into something that I had kind of lost. Absolutely. Which is, I mean, ironically enough, even though I'm looking for a new relationship, it's like, you could say that like, you know, my previous relationship kind of ended up bringing me back towards something that I had lost, even though that relationship is like, you know, gone

now. I still kind of have what I found again. I had to go back to the same place to kind of find those things again. Oh, yeah. And there's a weird thing, too. And this would be great. So this is the second time you've been on the show. If you come back a third time, I'd be interested to hear.

What if there's a little bit of prophecy in this, too? I don't know. So I stick with psychological side. And let's just talk about it. That's what I was hoping. Honestly. No kidding. But the thought occurs to me.

And I don't know how to explain it. And I can't predict it. But it doesn't matter. So the other half of me, that says, ooh, what hell this mystical shit? What if this dream was also a bit of, a bit prophetic? So the fantasy that played out in my head,

uh, uh, regarding your situation is, what if this dream inspires you to actually start going back to church? And not right away, but eventually through connections, you end up meeting this Middle Eastern, South Asian gal who looks a lot like the one.

from your dream and she's your dream girl and this looking for she guided you to herself through your dreams that would be crazy i don't know if that'll happen but i want to hear that it did happen it is i mean ironically it has it has somewhat kind of happened i mean you know like i don't think i'm ever going to be like you know um i don't think i'm ever going to end up being a christian thing and i think the only thing that's really keeping me from it is more of like a kind of a moral thing where I get the I get the relevance

of it like I like you were saying like I get the kind of the psychological end to it I even get kind of the metaphysical understanding of it because I am like I said I'm a deist you know so it's like I do believe in God now like and I actually came to that realization like logically like I said

when I kind of rebelled before it wasn't even really necessarily for any like real theological reasons you know I'd kind of of run across, you know, things before online that had kind of reinforced that kind of of thinking in me. Like, I don't know if you ever seen like Dark Matter 25, 25. There were a lot of videos on, yeah, he used to make a lot of videos on YouTube, kind of pointing out inconsistencies in the Bible and stuff like that.

I didn't watch a lot of that kind of stuff. Yeah, and that kind of stuff influenced me. And now I actually went back and forth for them on Twitter for like not too long, It would be like a couple years around the same time I had this dream. And, you know, we definitely disagree on a lot now. But back then, like, it's like a big influence on, you know, me kind of having like some of that thinking. But there was also just a, you know, kind of rebelling because it was like, well, you know, why make me go to church if I just tell, you know, guys, I don't even believe in this stuff, you know. I mean, they even, like, you know, sat me down at one point.

And they asked me, like, you know, why don't you believe and all this other stuff? they wanted to like understand and um i think like i mean to this day as much as i understand you know the point of the religion and everything itself i can't actually make myself believe the story yeah and i think that's a big part of it i'm kind of on the idea side of things where i'm like you know and it's interesting with the uh with the bible tell me this is just you know my own random thoughts about that stuff too is that there's a way in which you can say yes it is the word of god so like any truth the way, the truth and the light, that kind of thing,

could be conceived as coming directly from God because God is truth. I mean, it's one of those things where if the universe or God reveals things to you through experience, you're like, well, that's, now I understand a truth based on an experience. Is that a message from God? I think literally yes. But it isn't like hearing a voice saying, thou shalt write this in a book. It's more like, here are the principles.

Here are the true principles we've discovered that discovery was made possible. by God, therefore God has communicated to us. So I get all that there. And there's a lot of different ways to approach this. I don't think most churches would have a problem with you coming in and saying, you know, I'm not really a Christian, but I'm going out with you guys because this is cool. So I just, I'll listen to the sermon. We'll get the stories.

And I'm not here to cause a problem. I'm not here to, to tell you you're wrong. I'm just, I'm not a believer, but you guys are cool and I want to hang out with you. And I think there's also a part of you that, that thinks the best way to find a good woman who's worthy of being your partner is probably through a religious institution because you know she's going to have similar values. Even if you're a deist and she's a Christian. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, that's all I was going to say. I actually, um, like, the thing for me is like, and what, what's so weird about it for me is like I, there's this thing about like being equally yoked in, uh, Christianity and even like, you know, Islam and other religions where it's like, you know, they're supposed to seek out someone who has the same faith as them. So I also feel like, you know, if I don't, you know, join one, I'm kind of, I'm never going to really find someone that I'm going to really click with. Because, I mean, ironically enough, like, I'm kind of, now I want to study, like, all of the different, like, religious structures and everything, you know. Oh, yeah.

I've done a lot of studying in, like, ancient Egyptian mythology, which I actually really resonate with. Like, I try to find, like, a lot of the oldest ones I could find, like, because for me, like, you know, it's probably where you're going to find most of the truth. Because I know a lot of the stories kind of have spin off. You know, you have Zoroastrianism and things like that where like the kind of these ideas kind of originated from. And, you know, ironically enough, Christianity and Islam are actually pretty young, right? Relatively speaking, yeah. And if you find a lot of the texts and the things that these people followed, it was almost exactly the same. It was just, you know, written out and laid out differently.

So I kind of, I'm still kind of like searching for like something particular that I resonate more with. I've even been thinking about, you know, possibly getting into Buddhism because it's more of like a secular religion that doesn't like tie itself to any particular theology. And you can have like a, you know, your own kind of theology if you want. But I think it might even be easier for me to find a partner that kind of agrees with that and lives. and that kind of lifestyle because at least it doesn't require me to be a part of a system where I don't agree with like, you know, the fundamental theology of it all. And we can actually agree on like the values and the system and way of living first and foremost. That would be crazy too.

If you all, you know, through going to church and not being a Christian, you actually ended up finding a girl who also goes to church and she's not a Christian either. She's like, these are just my people. I just like this community. Yeah. I like the way they do things. That would be like me too. What's up?

Yeah, yeah. That is awesome. I think so I think that's the connection between these two dreams. And that's also a little more of an insight of like, where's your life going lately? What's important to you these days? You know, what are you working towards? What's the point of doing all this work in general of like, you know, just having a job and pay? It's more than just roof over your head.

You've got to have those basic, basic food to eat and whatnot. But then you need a reason to live. You've got a reason to keep going. and, you know, what am I looking for? And maybe it's, you know, I got a, my, I got really lucky. My wife and I are both hermits and we're both very independent people. And we're both culturally Christian, but not, you know, not believers. I mean, so many things we have in common.

And the best part of our relationship is, is, I might not see her for 24 hours. She's doing her own thing. I'm doing my own thing. Our paths don't cross. We don't have a reason to interact. We don't have rituals where we necessarily, every day, at the same time we meet and say hello, or if I'm doing a particular routine,

she happens to be gone, but it doesn't matter. Then when I see her the next day, I'm like, what'd you been up to? And she's like, oh, I did this thing. And I went there and I ran at the store and met a friend on the street and went for a bike ride and all these different things. And I'm like, cool, I made videos

and talk to people about their dreams. And then, but it's like, neither one, it's about that match too of like, you know, do we basically have the same values and does our, um, hermit-like what is it in introverted lifestyle

mesh and it does so it's just but I did have to meet her when I was younger by going out of the house I mean you don't it's very very unlikely she's going to show up at your front door knock and say hi I'm your future wife doesn't work that way unfortunately but yeah and I think there's very few places that would be better

I mean you're more likely find a good girl at church than you are down at the club or yeah any of a dozen other places that don't really connect directly to value systems in the same way. Yeah. Well, those are my thoughts. I don't know if you had more questions about the dream.

Like I'm happy to delve into what about this element? What do you think that means? But nothing comes to mind. Yeah, I mean, I think that that was mostly it. You know, I do have, like I said, I got another dream. You can probably talk about another time. But I think for that one, that was, that was most of it. Like there was, um, the, I definitely did.

most interesting part about that one was the whole like, you know, falling in the love and a dream. That was the first time that that ever happened to me. That's why I thought it was so, I thought it would be interesting to talk about. For sure. I don't know how many other people have had that experience. I don't know, maybe like people could put, like, in the comments that they've had

that experience before. If you ever, like, fell in love with, like, some mystery person in the dream, you wake up and you're like, where is this person in my life? And maybe it is perfect, right? Like, maybe I will actually meet this girl someday. Because like I said, I don't know exactly where we met or where this dream started exactly. I just know that we ended up in that same place, right? But I've had a lot of deja vu in my life.

And I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if this ends up being another one of those, especially because recently it's been happening more where I notice it and I can like, I capture it. And then when it starts to happen, I'm like, this isn't just deja vu. like I know exactly I know what this person is going to say next and I know what this person is going to do next. And then like once you tap into it, you realize you're like you're almost literally having, you know, premonitions of future things to come.

So I've got to like you know, I had it years ago, you know. The same dream, uh, the same person I was talking about earlier that gave me permission to, uh, to use his music. Uh, he also has reported to me that he's had prophetic dreams where a week later, a week after the dream, he's in the same place with the same people. they speak exactly the same words and take the exact same physical motions. And I asked him, so is that, that's not just deja vu? Because I get that.

He's like, no, no, no, the feeling is completely different. So he's had both feelings and he knows they're different. Yeah, all I get is the deja vu stuff. It's like freaky because you notice it when you notice it in the middle. Deja vu is like more of, oh, well, that happened. I was like, oh, yeah, I remember like having like a dream about that, that happening. And I mean, and honestly, deja vu might be something else other than what we think it is. It's just it's kind of maybe about your awareness of it all.

Like when does it actually come back to you that, oh, this happened before. Like, I feel like it's more definitely more prophetic when it happens and you catch it in the moment or even maybe before the moment. Oh, yeah. Like, because there have been a couple times where it's like, you know, if you, and this is why I said I've been wanting to maybe keep a dream journal because sometimes I will wake up and I'll, I'll remember a dream. but I'll lose parts of that dream because I don't write them down. And then later on, it's like, I remember this dream. There's something familiar about this moment. And then later on in the day, I remember exactly what was familiar about that moment

because in this particular moment, I remember everything that's about to happen after this point. But I didn't remember it when I had that initial feeling. And it's only because I can't remember the entire dream. I'm just remembering bits and pieces. but the bits and pieces I am remembering once I realize it in that moment, I can probably track a lot of what's going to happen after a certain point. And then because you live in the moment a lot of the times, even after you realize that, you might lose it because you're in the moment

and you're not thinking about, oh, I know what's going to happen anymore. You're just thinking about like, oh, I noticed that. Now let me live in this moment. And you kind of forget that you probably know a lot of things that are going to happen after this. Maybe if something bad ends up happening, you have this gut feeling that you know what's going to happen and you choose to do something that maybe you didn't choose to do in the dream, right? Like maybe one of those like, you know, kind of like warnings you might have, like kind of a final destination kind of thing where it's like this bad thing is about to happen. Let me let me say like, no, I'm not going to do this. I think in a dream I did this.

So I'm not going to do this so that that bad thing doesn't happen. And maybe you even like change what would have happened in your future. That is entirely possible. Yeah. Now, as I say, the reason I don't get into making too many comments on the spooky woo side of, you know, supernatural side of dreams, not because I don't believe in it. Because I don't know, I don't understand it. So what I was going to say to you, too, is in general to the audience is the idea that it's nice to bring a dream to the wizard and have a conversation and at least have a second person external to yourself, give feedback, offer, different perspectives, try to put some things together and tell you a story that you maybe didn't

think of on your own. That's great. Not everybody can talk to me. And not everybody needs to. The process of writing things out can often give you insights during that process. And you're like, oh, I didn't think of that. These connections will come to you as you're describing the dream like you're telling it to someone else. You're telling it to the journal. On top of that, you start tracking, okay, put a little star next to some said, this felt prophetic. And then when it it happens you go back to that page and you write and came true 10 days right yeah that's I really need to start that yeah yeah and then what you'll get something which that I can't do for you and and also you can't even do for myself because I don't have I remember most of my dreams and

the ones that I've never had one come true as far as I ever know um you might even through training yourself to be more observant uh come to better identify dreams that are prophetic and actually then start being able to plan ahead for them and make changes. And I mean, you could have a whole interesting book right there of like, here's my experience with dream prophecy and how I tracked it, how many times it happened to me, the results of that, you start getting into like, you know, not hardcore statistics, but little data analysis, you know, I had 10 dreams and eight of them came true and here's what happened or, you know, and here's why I changed something to avoid a bad outcome. I would be really fascinated to hear that. You become your own, you know, prophetic

dream expert in that. So here's how to tell the difference. Here's what it feels like. And here's how to make use of it. Bam. That's something I can definitely say I've noticed some things like and I definitely is one of the reasons I want to write them down so much is because like there are certain things like because I am kind of a hermit myself, right?

So there are certain things I never even thought I would ever get the chance to do like certain things I never got the chance to do. Like I say for the first time I went on my I went to my first concert last year. I went to my first festival last year And then after I went to my first festival, I ended up going to like four more festivals the rest of the year. So like I did a lot of stuff last year that I actually really never thought I would do. You know, I never thought I would really go to like a music festival.

Ended up going and it ended up going to like more. And then on top of that I went to like, I finally ended up going to like my first concert and did a lot of traveling that I didn't really do before. It's kind of in the same place for most of my life. And there were things that I remembered even there. Like I think when I was in Texas, I remember specifically. And I kind of lost it when it happened. But I was telling I met this girl when I was in Texas last year when I went to a festival. And she ended up spending like a significant amount of like half of the time I was down there.

She ended up spending like half of the time with me while I was down there. it didn't actually become like you know a relationship or anything but I remember telling her like I had a dream about you before I was even down here like before any of this happened I didn't think it was like going to happen there because I never thought like I would be going to a festival I didn't think I would be going to you know I stayed in Texas for like two weeks at that time I was like I didn't think I was going to be staying in Texas for two weeks yeah on the road and and I was like I wouldn't have expected to even do that so I didn't even bother to like you know take down this dream or I'm not even sure I really even even

even remembered much of the dream after I had it because I didn't even think it was realistic you know because you have a lot of dreams it's just like even if you're like lucid or even if you remember them you like this is not realistic this is probably never ever going to happen that was just like you know a fantasy dream whatever and then it happens and you remember like wait a minute I remember having a dream about this exact thing and I never thought that this would happen I mean it completely like a different situation I've ever been in before my life, which is why I thought this dream was just random. But it turns out that this is actually like something that I was seen beforehand.

And then I didn't notice it into the middle of the moment. And like, you know, she thought it was just a line I said. Right. That's what I was thinking of all that. Sure you did. I'm like, I literally remember having this dream. And it's crazy because I don't remember anything else. But I'm like, you look familiar when I first saw you because I saw you in this dream.

Like, I thought I knew you. And that was the weird thing about it. That's crazy. And I think you'll notice more and more of those things if you start tracking them too. Because 90% of our dreams are just, they're gone the moment we wake up. The rest of them, they're gone within a few minutes of waking up because you can't write them down. And then, you know, days, months, weeks later, unless something triggers a very specific memory, we're never going to remember that dream again for our entire life.

So the only way to really put it to the test is to start keeping that journal and be really diligent about it. like, I don't feel like it today. Nope, do it. If you remember something, write it down. So, um, well, we're pushing about, I'm gonna get a notebook and put it inside my bed. Yeah, yeah, just keep it with you. Keep it on the bedside table, that kind of thing.

I had one guest early on where she would do, um, she would use her phone or a little, little recorder. I don't remember which. And to do a verbal description of the dream. Oh, that's a good idea. That's one way to do it. And then, because then even if she was just going to go back to sleep, she'd be like, I was in a, I was in a place and I did the thing.

And then. I'm going back to bed. And so a lot of her recordings were like that, that sleepy, just woke up, boys. Oh, I had a couple of those this year, too. This year and last year, a couple of the ones where I just, I woke up, more this year, for sure, where I woke up. And I went right back into the dream that I had just woken up from. And I, and a couple of the times, I purposely went back to sleep, even though I really didn't want to sleep much longer. I purposely went back to sleep to reenter the dream.

to see if I could and I did. Yeah. That is something I've only heard of. Never, never been able to do that myself too. I think part of my fascination with dreams is there's such this broad range of experience that I've never had. I don't think I've ever had a falling dream where I, you know, wake up before he hit the ground, that kind of thing.

I've had boogeyman dreams. I don't think I've ever had a late for an appointment or late to a train dream as the typical dreams they used to call them. Yeah, I've never had a dream about being naked in public, those kind of, all these typical dreams. I've never had it before. But that's beyond that never lucid dream to my knowledge. You know, don't have any prophetic dreams.

This is a whole range of experience I've never had. Yeah, it's weird. Like, that's definitely like a big, I guess you could say, like, distinction or chasm between like the different types of dreams that different people experience. Because I've definitely never had a falling dream or whatever. And as much as I try to remember, like, I don't think I really can't remember any time where I was like, you know, falling and then wake up, like,

right when I hit the ground or anything. Like I've had dreams where I fell. Like I told you those, I've had those dreams where like, you know, I jump and I'm like, you know, floating for like a very long time or whatever. But it's never, it's never been like a falling thing ever. At least not yet, you know, you never know. Maybe it could happen. You have to be in a specific state for it to happen.

You know, I wonder if it's, I wonder if it's, yeah, and there's a lot of theories about why those dreams happen. I mean, most people have had the experience of what's called a hip, no gogic jerk. So it's as you're falling asleep, you get a sudden sensation of being physically off balance. You're laying down in bed completely still and you have the experience of losing your balance on your feet and you jerk to try and regain your balance. And then you realize, I'm laying in bed. I was almost asleep. And but that, but that shocks you out of, uh,

because there's that, like a, there's a physical sensation of losing your balance. And sometimes that comes to us. Yeah. We don't. I definitely have that. that when I fall asleep of my computer. Oh, they're that too. Although if you're sitting up in a chair, probably you start falling over and it wakes you up. Yeah, yeah. Well, we're pushing about two hours here. And I think I'm going to try and mow the lawn while it's good weather out there.

So you feel good to wrap it up? Yeah, I got a, you got things to do too. Oh, that's right. We are up against your time limit. No, that's good. Perfect time to stop. Well, let's do this. This has been our friend Matari out of.

Ohio. He's a streamer with a focus on gaming, cultural commentary, and debate reviews. He's got all kinds of projects going on. You can find them on kick.com slash Matari. Link in the description below of course, and on X at at underscore these nuts.

You could also type in Matadi Sensei because that's my name as well. Yes, and I was going to spell it out as well. It's M-A-T-T-A-R-I-I-I-I- so play that back and write it down. if you're trying to. He's also got a podcast with a friend.

It's out of the pocket pod. And that you find that kick at NIMBO Stratosphere? Yeah, Nimbosphere. And we'll probably try to add a link to our Discord server, Nimbosphere as well. That's right. I need to get that Discord from you at the end there.

So it's a Discord, what, Discord slash? It would be Nimbosphere, I'm pretty sure. Okay. Nibosphere is where we kind of where the podcast and everything kind of spins off. So that's where we're starting from. And that's a community we're trying to build up to engage a bit more, you know, have some like interesting dialogue, maybe even more stuff like this, you know. You could gop in the server too.

For sure some people will probably have some interesting dreams for you. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I'll have been absolutely. I know. I will hop in there and advertise, you know, of course. Hopefully there's a channel for that self-promotion. Yeah, but also invite.

Yeah, but also invite anyone who, hey, come on, come on the show. You got a dream, we can make an episode. You don't have to, you don't have to be anybody special, just human and speak English. That's, that's my limit. I've been telling them about you, you know, probably, probably have some people come with some dreams for you. Word of mouth, that's the best advertising. But speaking of advertising, I should do my part, we'll wrap it up here. So would you kindly like, share, and subscribe, tell your friends, always need more volunteer dreamers.

I play video games Monday through Fridays, most days of the week, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Pacific. this episode is brought to you by ABC Book 9, the literature and curiosity of dreams volume 2, part of a two volume set out of 1865, fascinating historical literature, of course. All this and more at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, including downloadable MP3s of this very podcast. And one of the best ways to reach out to me

if you have a dream to share is also at Benjamin the Dreamwizard. Locals.com. It's free to join attached to my Rumble account. That's enough of that. So, uh, Tari, thank you for being here. Good to talk to you again. Good to get catch up after, uh, not having seen you for a couple of years. Yeah, thank you for having me, man.

We should, we should game together sometime too. And you can do like a dual stream. Oh, yeah, I'm down with that too. Any kind of co-op game. I love, uh, what is it? Left for Dead, but I also love, um, what's that other one? Son of a bitch. It's the, uh, seven days to die.

I love that too, another zombie game. And I just bought one recently. That is, uh, I haven't played yet. It's called Deep Rock Galactic. you play the dwarves you land on a planet and you're gonna your dwarves and you go down mining

and there's creatures in there and you gotta shoot the creatures and it's a multiplayer online I haven't even fired it up that sounds really interesting that deep rock galactic but if you if you play on Steam look for a sale I think I got it for like 20 bucks

yeah I'll look for it it sounds nice deep rock galactic a little shout out to shout out to diggy diggy dwarves I love it love the idea of playing dwarves and digging for gold and you're on alien planets and it's all good stuff.

Okay, we're going to get off on a whole new damages here. So I'm just going to say thank you. Thank you to our guest, Matari, and everybody out there. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next time.