Dreamscapes Podcasts - Dreamscapes Episode 197: Train of Thought

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

Violet Lange ~ https://violetlange.com/

I've had one experience where a cat stepped on the keyboard and from the beginning killed the entire episode. That was episode 8. 189 episodes ago. Now I'm hyper paranoid. I'm always checking the time. Is it still running? And then they did it again. But I caught it quickly last week.

This time they did it with my mouse somehow. How do they do with the mouse? How do they activate the mouse? I take the mouse and I put it like the cursor far away from the stopper. button. Any of cats, you got to love them. Greetings friends and welcome back to another episode of Dreamscapes. Today our guest is Violet Lang from Boulder, Colorado.

She is an engineer in MBA, a happily married mother of two who met her husband in a dream. We're going to talk about that. But only after surviving complex trauma and rewiring her attachment style by integrating head, heart, and body and using spiritual techniques to date differently. you were definitely going to talk about that. And now she teaches other women to do the same. You can find her at violet lang.com. Link in the description, of course.

For my part, would you kindly like, share and subscribe? Tell your friends, always need more volunteer dreamers. I do video game streams. Most days, Monday through Friday, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Pacific. Oh, I forgot again, which book I was going to be promoting. It'll be there on the screen. And you can see what it is. I guarantee it's fantastic.

All my books are. I've got 17 currently available works of history. historical dream literature. Of course, you can find all this and more at Benjamin the Dreamwizard.com, including downloadable MP3s of this very podcast. So you can take the Wizard with you wherever you wander with or without Wi-Fi. I love alliteration. Last but not least, if you would also head on over to Benjamin the Dreamwizard.

Dot locals.com. I'm building a community there. It is free to join attached to my Rumble account. And that's enough out of me. Violet, thank you for being here. Appreciate your time. I'm so excited. I love dream work.

And I'm excited to hear what you have to share. That's very cool. Well, you come from a very different background. But isn't that interesting that, you know, you don't have to be a specialist in psychology or a crazy person on the internet who thinks he's a wizard to enjoy dreams. You know, you can come at it from an engineering or just a broadly spiritual perspective. There's a system to understanding dreams as well. As much as they defy logic, there's a there is a logic in dreams. I don't know.

if you wanted to start with how you came to maybe the understanding that you needed or wanted to do some things differently with your personal life and how your past was was affecting your present and kind of foreclosing your future in a way yeah that's a great question um i was one of those people where some things in life came really easily and some things care really hard i think most of us probably identify with that but um work and school, those things usually came pretty easy because growing up, they were kind of my escape. And I felt like safer at school than I did at home. So I was like, I love school. But then what happened is I married someone who really wasn't the right fit for me in my early 20s. We had a sexless marriage. And in my late 20s, I was like, what is going on? Like this? I just can't, I can't continue to live my life like this. We'd been together five, or we'd been married five years and together, I think, seven years. And I realized I need. to go on a different path to really follow my heart.

So it started with ending that marriage, but then it bled over into my career because I went from the corporate world into a nonprofit and then eventually into working for a yoga company, Yoga Works, which is no longer, but for a while they had a lot of studios. And while I was working at Yoga Works, my personal life continued to be kind of a shit show. I was dating, but I didn't know what I was doing.

I had a hard time getting multiple dates or getting into to a healthy relationship. I seemed to attract the same type of person over and over again, even if they had, you know, different look, different background. Energetically, they were the same. And I knew I had a lot of trauma from childhood, but I don't think I understood the extent of it

until I started doing some coaching and therapy and started, you know, as they say, unpacking all of that. And the more that I did my personal growth work, the more that a lot of my business coaching clients because at that time I was also a business coach started asking me for personal advice and these worlds kind of melded to the point where I then went back to take a coaching training for love, dating and relationships. And at that point, it was just a pivot.

And all of a sudden, that's all I wanted to do was love dating and relationship coaching. So, yeah, that's kind of my journey. Kind of the broad, broad strokes introduction. That's great. There's a lot of jumping off points there into a lot of different stuff. the the, well, not the first thing that, uh, um, occurred to me, but just a tangential, possibly related question. You ever done the, you know, even just an online version of the Myers-Briggs to get like,

I think I'm an I NTJ. Do you know what you are? You know, it's funny because I've taken it a few different times during my life and it's changed. But I think, um, part of that is my conditioning at the time, right? So I took it at one point and I was an ENTJ. And then I took it at another point. and I was an E-N-S or an E-S-T-J, but that was after like four years of engineering,

even though I'm totally an N. I think I also have one of those personalities where I can easily adjust myself based on the condition or based on the group I'm around. Sure. But I believe I'm an E-N-F-J. Gotcha. Yeah, well, there's two things about that is one is probably,

okay, in principle, we would think, like, personalities aren't supposed to change. You kind of have these broad tendencies that are stronger in one direction than another. So we would look at that and go, are you really getting, you know, is the test useless? And there's a lot of people who think it is. I would tend to think, okay, if you're doing internet quizzes that are not the real test, you're going to sometimes get different answers because a lot of them are, they use different language.

If you made sure to go back four years later to take the exact same test you took before, you might get a closer answer to what you had. But if you take a different test by someone else, you get long story short on that. But then again, there is a strain of thought that is, As you change and grow and evolve, some of your tendencies do as well. And it isn't like you're going to go from an introvert to an extrovert, but you might get closer to extroversion. You know, because whatever purpose introversion was serving for you became less necessary

or less entertaining. And you simply chose, I'm just bored too often. I'm going to get out more. Well, now you look more like an introvert who needs to be around people, but it's, what is the motivation? You know, so it's hard, okay, long story short on that one. I was just, I was just curious because, what brought me, so a lot of, I work back, okay, my brain just, and that, and I try and bring it all back together.

So, I got to do the weave. What brought me to that question was thinking, you know, you said, you felt most comfortable in work and school, which is for me, just the opposite. I hate those environments. I need absolute freedom to just kind of do whatever. You can tell, I'm a disorganized mess, but it works for me, or so I think. I'm talking too much here. But the idea is that those are both highly structured types of thing like school is it begins and ends. There's periods of time divided, sliced up nice and neatly.

We're doing this subject now. We take a break. We do another subject now. That is very much different than most people's personal lives, which are, unless you impose a structure upon it, there is no structure. It's completely wide open and that can feel like lost at sea. It's like, I can go anywhere. I can do anything, but I don't see land in any direction. It's all waves.

it's all sun and clouds no matter where I go so why go anywhere it's very hard to orient yourself and pick a pick a direction which is okay this analogy just but which is why sometimes you have to wait for the nighttime and then the stars appear and you can navigate and that's sometimes what our dreams do for us as well I'm very proud of myself for just thinking on that I love it it's a great minute yeah I love that well where did that come from I don't know I we have no idea where ideas come from or for that matter dreams we can we can understand them in retrospect sometimes we can't predict them necessarily we can kind of program I'm balancing everything today here let me make a declaration and say well the opposite is so true

that maybe I don't know who knows I don't think I ended up sleep last night but that's okay too the other thing I was going to say and then I'm going to throw it back to you because I've talked talked enough but I heard it was listening to the radio yesterday I don't remember who it was it was not radio but like a podcast type of thing and someone was saying hey if if every guy you've ever was an asshole, maybe the problem's you. And that's, you know, not to blame, well, maybe you're the asshole. It's like, no, maybe you're looking for that for some reason or leaving yourself vulnerable to that kind of predation if it's a, you know, abusive relationship type of pattern.

So I don't know if you had, what were the insights that you discovered along the way that made maybe the most impact on how you changed your approach or structured, brought order to your own freewheeling personal life. Yeah, I think the biggest insight was that we all have catnip, like this thing we're addicted to that might not be that good for us. And we have our dating catnips. So my dating catnip was like very aloof, somewhat avoidant, very creative, kind of brooding sort of people.

And because then I had to like work hard to get their approval and it fueled my own anxiety for my own anxious attachment. pattern and I got to like do the whole golden shadow thing like they're creative and who am I and but now that I'm an entrepreneur and I create lots of programs and I have a much more creative and intuitive life like I don't have any attraction to that and I started changing what I thought I needed in someone else and embodying that in my own life and then that totally changed my patterns of attraction along with the awareness of what my catnip was so that if I felt myself pulled towards someone, I could say, oh, how funny, I bet they're my catnep. And so, like, at a party or at meetup,

I would feel, oh, I feel attraction towards this sort of person. Let's just observe how the night goes. And then, of course, during, like, the group share, if there was a meetup event, they would say something like that just fit exactly what I thought, oh, yeah, that's my pattern. So, yeah, that's just, that was what was true for me. And for a lot of my clients, I invite them to do the same, like, what's your, what's your catnip? And how can you get a little more savvy about that as you go forward and how can you embody some of the things that you're hoping your partner will bring to you. Is there any particular exercises or approaches that you're aware of or that you teach that help people identify their cat and because people might grasp like intuitively

I grasp that concept. Oh, of course. What makes you roll on the ground like an idiot love in every minute of what are you really attracted to and is that healthy for you? But how to properly identify that? Weed from the chaff type of style. I have a process I walk people through. It would probably be too detailed to go through here. I have them, you know, kind of do an inventory of their experiences, whether it's just a crush or a relationship or a fleeing. And then I also have them consider like what are their unmet needs from their parents? You know, what were they always wishing that their parents would give them more of? And what are their beef or what are the things they're so frustrated by?

relationship with their parents. And it's usually then this hybrid of parental unmet needs or angst combined with relationship history. Okay, that's good. Yeah, I mean, it's very, we get into the problem with some folks where it's a little bit pie in the sky. It's a little bit touchy-feely in terms of, it's a little too loose to grab onto something and say, well, let's get, let's get concrete examples and try and establish a more. rational or connected chain of events that that lead to one another and establish a pattern. So it's very good. That's probably works with your coming from your engineering background or you're like,

you know, there's got to be a system to this. I'm going to find it. And then what, and then if you put it to the test, you're like, okay, what are the results we get? You know, if it's garbage in garbage out, then if what you get out is useful, the system works, you know, kind of the, which is kind of how I do the dream thing. It's like, if I just got garbled nonsense that nobody. got any benefit from or felt had any personal meaning to them, I would say I have no system.

Now, the funny thing is I don't actually have a system. It's more of an intuitive thing, but, you know, I do, and we'll get around to that in a minute or whatnot, whenever we want. But, you know, I do the basics of, well, first you got to shut up and listen. Then you start going back through it together to pull out more relevant detail. So there's a little bit of a system to it. But I drop everything at the, you know, at the drop of the hat and change, change approach. And I rely heavily on, hey, I just had an idea.

Where does it? I have no idea where it comes from. But that's, that's why I got it. That's why I tell people, you know, and if you're listening out there, if you contact me for a dream, don't say, hey, here's the dream. And then just like, include, don't tell me anything. I need to be present with it fully 100% in the moment to get good, good results from that there. I think I had a question I was trying to come around, come around to again, but I lost it.

I mean, to your point, like, I, relationships are not a science, even though I have, like, things that I enjoy looking at with my client or trying to find some commonality, it is intuition and it is art, but one of the things I love is kind of synthesizing things that are very esoteric and bringing them into form or helping someone bring them into form. So I think that's part of this idea of like being a cosmic matchmaker is helping people connect with their higher self and then what they're here to receive in partnership. And it might not look the same for everyone. I don't think we're all meant to be in like this cookie cutter thing.

But yeah, I find it fascinating to your point. Like where do dreams and intuitions come from and just this sense? And I don't know if you ever follow John Beebe who does stuff around Myers-Briggs. but he talks about how, you know, if we're a judging part for the Myers-Briggs, that it's actually our intuition or sensing that is our most like forward feature and we're in our relationships. So, yes, I have a strong J. But I think my N comes up even.

My J comes on strong with myself and my N comes on strong with others, including my clients. Very cool. And there's an interesting. I hadn't heard of that guy So now I got a little Make a little mental note But it might A thought just occurred to me too

And I'm not sure if this is true Or if it could be proven to be true If anyone's ever looked into it People ask me why I know so many random things Like I just get random I have random questions And then I go look it up And now suddenly I know

Literally the price of tea in China Why would I know that? I don't know I just wondered I heard that expression before I wonder what it is today and then you go and you look and it's this many yuan or um oh there's skin hanging off one that was playing with the cats earlier who that's good times um okay the the point i was going so if you got the um um you know was it it's it's uh judging versus perceiving or god i get i get them all confused

but basically if you're if you're a j that the opposite would almost be in your shadow side and so you've got the young in work to do there and so dreams will often bring that stuff up It was like, what's, what's missing from your life that if it were present, you would have better balance. And then you, yeah, you integrate those things as well, too. So, I suppose in terms of relationships and it's tough because you, I say you, the royal you, you know, we as people, okay, the higher self thing. This is where we got me on to that train of thought is like some people think that's way off in the spooky woo. and, you know, new agey, and there's a lot of derogatory ways people to refer to it. They dismiss it as, as flim, flammery or snake oil salesman a lot of times.

But conceptually, if I have it right, we all have who we are now. And then there's a better version of ourselves that could exist. Well, I think of that as your higher self. This is your lower self in is maybe where you're at right now, unimproved, raw material, lots of potential. but then if you're aiming towards something to make yourself better, you're aiming towards your higher self. Do you have the right concept of that? Or is that close?

Yeah, I think everyone has a different definition. The way I think about it is for me, my higher self is kind of like my soul. It might not always, I might not make like the best always decisions in this human vessel. But my higher self, I believe, it's kind of like my bridge between human me and like super conscious. and anyway, so I think with that way, or I think of it as, you know, there's like the chakra

system and my higher self is like an upper upper chakra. It's kind of overseeing or enveloping the whole thing. And I think my higher self is consistent lifetime to lifetime, whereas I, because I do believe in reincarnation, but I, like me as Violet is not consistent lifetime to lifetime. This is just a personality construct that I created but this body and these life experiences. Yeah, I think I might have been talking about this literally. with my last guest last week. And, oh, what was it?

It was the idea of that we choose to come here in this body with this, with these traits to have a particular kind of experience. And I, I'm not the first one to make this analogy, but it's kind of like playing video games. It's like last week I was, what was I playing last week? Oh, last week I was a cyborg in, you know, a mercenary. And, hey. Leave her alone.

This is the elderly one. She does not want to play. And he's a teenager, basically. He's barely like nine, ten months. And next week I'm going to be, what am I playing next week? Shoot. I'm going to be a kind of another sci-fi thing, but I'm going to be a guy who's friend runs a company that accidentally discovers time manipulation, and now I have to fight it out with

them. So it's like each new experience. And I want to feel the story of that. What is that like? What is that life? like. So I think that's, um, I would broadly, you know, I don't, uh, I'd say I'm an atheist because I, uh, non-theist. I just don't have a religious tradition. I appreciate them all. But it does seem more likely that, uh, if we as Yoda says are, are not the luminous beings. We are not this crude matter. Uh, it's more

than likely we'd, we'd go around, uh, more than once. Uh, I, I think just to get the full experience of it. I mean, why spend eternity and have one life? Come on. That's just, uh, Seems like a waste. Anyway. So I don't know if you wanted to get into meeting your current husband. Yes. In a dream. Now, the way from the description, it said you had that dream about three weeks ahead of time.

And I wanted to preface this by saying, I have a friend in real life. He lives right over that way, about half a mile. He weighed five years ago when I started to get into this. I was collecting stories from people. And he said, man, I've had prophetic dreams. And one week later, it had. happened exactly to the to the behavior to the people and the environment everything exactly and I'm like that's amazing I don't know what to do with that I've never had that experience but I believe

he's not lying to me and I think he's not delusional so that means the only thing left over is probably true so I'll stop there and you can tell me your experience and we'll we'll figure it out together yeah um so at the time I was seeing someone but very casually and I didn't feel like It was probably the best fit even though it made sense on paper. Like I felt like my heart kept getting hurt because they were really sarcastic and I just am a little sensitive. And but I wasn't sure. You know, so I was kind of like mulling it over in my head and in quotations looking for signs from the universe. And yeah, I just, I wasn't sure what to do.

I was meditating on it, praying on it. And I mean, I've always had a pretty rich dream life. But I've never had the experience that I had that night, which is, I'm I don't even know it. There was like no space time. It was just kind of was just in this blank environment. And this guy walks up to me and he puts his hand on my heart in the dream. And he says, Joe, which is the guy I was seeing at the time, Joe's a 10 and you're a 100.

What are you doing with this guy? And I laughed. Like I laughed in the dream and then I woke myself up because I was laughing. And I was just like, okay, universe, like, duly noted. I did not think this was an actual person, you know, but my heart felt warm and I was just like okay that's nice I got some clarity I went back to sleep and then three weeks later I was at a meet-up event on lucid dreaming because I do love dreaming and this guy walks up to me and a girl I was in a woman I was standing next to I was like holy shit that's a guy

had a dream about and she was like what and then he came up and he introduced himself and he looked almost exactly the same except in real life he had more hair than in the dream his hair was spending more and in the dream he had glasses but I didn't know his name or anything but he walked up and he told me his name we started chatting and then I didn't say anything that I had a dream about him because I thought that he would think I was bad shit crazy even though it was a dreaming event but he asked for my number and then we got coffee like a week later and then I told him and I said you know I had this dream and it was really cool he was like I was claiming you before I met you I like it he wasn't like you're a weirdo or like are you just trying to say that and um so

yeah, so we literally met in the dream world and then met at a meet-up event on lucid dreaming and now we're married. And it wasn't like it was all, you know, kumbaya and rainbows. Like just because we have this somewhat cosmic love story, we had tons of, not tons, but, you know, we had our fair share of challenges and we had to figure things out and it's not like we just fell in love right away. But it was a powerful reminder that our dreams can be prophetic and can be like a clue or that rabbit, you know, kind of going around the track. Oh, yeah. Definitely.

No, it's just, these stories blow me away. Uh, I wish I had more to say about it other than just wow. But that's, that's kind of where I'm at on. It's like, I can't explain it. I can't offer a scientific explanation. I, uh, you know, what I could do is say, from the rational, enlightened side of things in terms of, uh, I mean, like literally rationalist enlightenment style would be to say, how it's possible you saw him at another event and it didn't register and then that face popped up later

it's possible a lot of things that you the vague the dream experience of this particular person was vague enough that after the fact you get kind of a secondary elaboration where you're like that's him but i don't think any of those feel right i don't think any of those things capture the experience of it which is no that's the person i saw and there he is in real life and what do you do with that i i I would say you don't ignore it, number one. You probably want to take advantage of it. And like if he hadn't come up to you, were you probably going to get brave? I hadn't noticed him.

That's the weird thing. It's like they, they had someone at the event taking photos for the promotion of this person who was speaking or something or the host, the meetup host. And so there's pictures of us literally like back to back at the bar. Like not fate, like we had, I hadn't seen him. And until the very end and then he walked up. And he hadn't actually seen my face, but the speaker said, you know, lucid dreaming is a little bit like being on, you know, drugs. Like, has anyone done ayahuasca? And Jason, my husband and I were the only two that raised our hands.

So partly he came up because of that little connection. He always says, Iwaska and asked. He's like, I like, I like, you did ayahuasca. So, like, that's why I approached you. But the other weird thing is that we found out in hindsight after the fact that, not hindsight, after the fact, that I had the dream of him the same night that he was actually in an ayahuasca ceremony and his whole intention that night was to be met by the feminine he's like i'm sick of chasing sick of going after these women who like are divas and are not interested and are shallow like i want someone deep and i want to be met

like meet me and then that's the same night that i had the dream about him so it's just wild yeah i mean just i believe those phenomena are real and there's there's like a lot of ways so A big, take a lot from Freud, take a lot from Jung, and a very eclectic influence on both my, you know, understanding of psychology, but then also specifically dreams. And some people don't know the fullness of Jung's concept of the collective unconscious. And it was what, partly what was in the fashion of the day in the late 1800s was adivism, the idea that each race had a memory.

the race of fish has a memory and that's how they know how to swim and cats know how to pounce and and play with their food and but that humans as well we have a more more evolved type of things we've inherited in some ways the memories of uh we don't have memories of their specific lives although past lives maybe maybe we do um but but that being said there's other layers as well where the collective unconscious also refers to common human experience because of how we're physically composed in the world we must drink water water, therefore we can be thirsty and all the attendant things. We can be wet. You know, our hair looks different or our skin, our fingers wrinkle. But also, uh, do little water.

We, uh, we, we dehydrate too much water. We drown. That kind of a thing. It's common human experience. Okay. And then there's another layer as well, which is we're probably all connected psychically. And that's something that I think it's lost in the shuffle sometimes. But I see things like that too. And there's just a, it's a, I wish we could. predict these things a little bit better. And it's been studied, but I don't think enough. But the idea that you both had, you both had the right focus in a way. Like you were looking for a better relationship and he was looking for a better relationship.

So there's resonance on that level or across that in that dimension of space time, so to speak. But then also he was doing ayahuasca to say open up his mind to be more receptive or transmittive as well. and his focus as well, and then to have that, and it can still be at that point, still random chance in a way that those two lines manage to intersect on the right plane at the right time. And how many other people got really close, but just missed, just a little off target. But it's definitely, you know, I've had experiences like that as well

where it's like meant to be faded type of stuff, which I don't, I do again, yinyang style. I do when I don't believe in fate and predestination. I think our... Despite having this like dream, I don't actually believe in predestiny and free will. I mean, sorry, I do believe in free will fate. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I think it is this randomness, but then when you have a chance, because I don't think we have just one soulmate, I think we have multiple, many, maybe hundreds of soulmates around the world. But when you find something that feels like it's resonant and you're both willing to commit and do the work. That's where it's exciting. Like you can step into something that already has a good energetic foundation.

But yeah, I mean, it's funny because when we got married, my husband was like, I don't really know if this was a random coincidence or fate. You know, like that out loud to everyone. I was like, okay. Oh, yeah. Well, a little bit of both sometimes. It's kind of like that leading the horse to water type of thing. It's like your destiny maybe leads you to the water.

And you as the horse get to decide whether or not you're going to drink. And you could probably find, as you were saying, a number of different partners or watering holes and commit to each one in a different way and have a different kind of experience. And it could work out. You can be married for a lifetime with someone completely different but also compatible in their own way across different dimensions. But you also had to be prepared for it by, you know, breaking free of your own catnip, as you were saying, you know, getting yourself into a place of. And that's why I've, okay, I have like a hundred different books I want. want to write or maybe they're just essays I need to get around to write in first and then I'll see if I can develop into a book but um but different concepts I think are poorly understood or

or people hear one definition and they miss like 17 other shades of meaning when it comes to that kind of stuff and and a lot of it is like you know it isn't that you have a um unavoidable fate necessarily but once you get into under certain conditions if then takes over. Like if you are heading towards a cliff and you don't hit the brakes, then you will go over the cliff. If you hit the brakes and turn the wheel, you could avoid it. So what is your fate?

Well, your fate is you are doomed to make a decision or no decision and just let take your hands off the wheel, in which case you're probably going over the cliff unless something else intervenes at that point, but I don't suggest tempting fate. That's usually a bad idea. So we have all these things where it's the same with, opportunities like this it's like if you had met him 10 years earlier than that you wouldn't have been ready for that relationship and he would have probably not

given you the time of day either because neither one of you were ready but right time right place like yeah I had um weird weird experience that left me shook like oh it's 25 years ago um I think I might have told the story before but anyway my uh I had an old dotson back in that back in the 90s and it had some alternate issues and so sometimes the battery would charge and sometimes it wouldn't and I never knew and so I pulled into this um I was visiting okay long story short I was visiting a friend pulled into this quickie mart to ask to use the phone a little local kind of quickie mart out quasi rural um and uh I called to say hey I'm having car trouble uh I'm common but I'm going to be late no no I didn't uh I'm late

but I'm coming to work I go out to try and start my car it doesn't start I should have just I shouldn't stopped. I should have just driven to work and I've been late and not tried to call them. Oh, God, what is, what is, what is wrong with my life? And so I went back into the store and, and, uh, and, uh, I was thinking it might be an issue with the starter because I didn't know was the alternator at the time. So I say, can I borrow a hammer and just kind of knock around in there. See if I can knock something loose. Maybe the cellanoid of the starter is not kick, kicking over or something. I don't know what's going to happen. And so, uh, I, I didn't even get to lifting the hood. Um, I walked out the front door and this young couple was,

walking I was young too but they were younger than me teenagers and uh as they were walking up to the store this car with some jerks that it pulled up and they jumped out and were like being aggressive towards them and right at that moment I'm standing there with a hammer in my hand and I just point at him with the hammer and I yell as loud as I can hey you get the fuck out of here and they like what's your problem man like I'm your problem you get out of here and uh they were because they were going to jump these kids I don't know what they were doing um and so they got in the car and left and it turned out actually I found out later they were drinking and got arrested for drunk driving down the road.

So this whole, but okay, what put me there and made my car not start and gave me the idea that maybe I need a hammer and then I walked back in and out, back out at the exact moment to be there to do that thing. Blows my mind to this day. I will remember that story forever. And I couldn't have made it happen if I'd wanted to just to, and you never know. Things like, you know, I suffered months, months of car trouble before I figured out it was the alternator and I figured it out soon after that event. It was almost like that

problem needed to stay until it wasn't necessary anymore. I see a nod in there. This is my story. That's my story. This is one of my... Amazing story. Warp and Wolf of the Universe bringing me to the right place at the right time to do something useful. Now, I didn't have to take the opportunity. I could have been, I could have been like, oh, not my problem and just quietly backed up into the store, but because of who I am and in that moment, I was like, whoa, this is trouble and I just had to, I had to do something. So being prepared, for an opportunity too and to take advantage of it is a big deal as well i don't have had a point there let's throw it back to you that was a great story i was not i think it's great and admirable that you

took advantage of that opportunity and i do think the universe works in mysterious ways and it's not just about sometimes i get a little sick of this like law of attraction like manifest whatever you want it's like we are so much more infinitely complex as a humanity and our dreams and other people's dreams literally and figuratively bouncing off of and you know weaving with one another and um yeah i think it's synchronistic that you found out what the key root problem was for your car after that incident happened oh yeah just more evidence piles up that like this wow yes yes and to your point earlier i do think we're psychic i think some people are more tuned to that than others and i don't think as like a culture, we have enough ground swell to support all that's possible with that, but it's exciting and

mysterious. Oh, it very much is. And just being open to it as well, just the possibilities of like, I think some folks, they get a little irritable and they, uh, they, they, whoa, I just knocked her in the face. Oh, baby girl. I didn't know you were coming. Now she's going to sneeze. I'm sorry.

Uh, I think a lot of people close themselves off to that. They get irritated by it. And I love the mystery of it as well, which is partly why I love, love, love, dreams, even though I am also trying to get an answer for the dreams. But I'm, I'm prepared for the universe to be so much more complex than I will ever understand. So if I don't understand something, it's like, well, that's par for the course. There's just, there's too many, oh, what is that, the Shakespearean line, too much more under heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy ratio.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so good. Such, such a great line. Well, why don't we do this? I think we've been chatting for like an hour about random stuff. Do you want to do your, uh, your, uh, dream for today? Yes. Let's do this thing.

I'll do a little timestamp here. Where are we at six? It's pretty long because there's like four or five little snippets. It kind of shifted scenes. Can I share the whole thing or do you want me to just share one of them? That's a good question. Most people just launch in and they're like, there's four parts. Here we go.

Okay, well, I'll just do it all. Yeah, let's just do it all. And then if they maybe identify those transition points when they come up. so I can make sure that... Okay, I will. Keep them separated. So, okay, yeah, I'm just going to shut up and listen, and our friend Violet here's going to tell me about a dream,

so I'm ready when you are. Benjamin the Dream Wizard wants to help you. Here's the veil of night and shine the light of understanding upon the mystery of dreams. Every episode of his Dreamscape's program features real dreamers, gifted with rare insight into their nocturnal visions. New Dreams episodes appear

every week on YouTube, Rumble, Odyssey, and other video hosting platforms, as well as free audiobooks exploring the psychological principles which inform our dream experience, and much, much more. To join the Wizard as a guest, reach out across more than a dozen social media platforms, and through the contact page at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com, where you will also find the wizard's growing catalog of historical dream literature available on Amazon, documenting the and wonder of exploration into the world of dreams over the past 2,000 years. That's Benjamin the Dream Wizard on YouTube and at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com. All right. Part one of my dream, which was from two nights ago, by the way, was I'm with my

husband, Jason, in a large house. We're in the basement, and there's many different rooms. We're in the living room area. And the basement somehow had the garage attached to it. And I heard my parents coming into the garage. And we didn't know. why they were there and then I asked Jason where's the baby and he said it's in another room so we went to the baby's room but on the way I was trying to turn off the lights and I couldn't find the light switch to turn it off there was like three or four different lights which is I tried to try to turn the light off and none of them worked so then the dream switched okay part one gotcha yes so in part two I'm in a

Let me just remember, get the just so I have it all written down. Okay, yes. Okay, part two of the dream. I'm in a really large warehouse where there are trains. And the trains are almost like open box cars, but not just open on the top. It's like the frame of a box car that's completely open. And then some of them have a red box car, but it's like the top of it is floating. Like there's an open frame in the bottom.

and then and then a red part on top and we see these trains but I'm actually in a passenger little tram without any overhead kind of like I don't know like a really long golf cart with multiple seats and all of us on the passenger train tram are making fun of this warehouse we're like oh they have all these trains. It's such a big building. There's like so many resources tied up in this. This is ridiculous. Like what a waste of metal and resources and space and all of that. And my dad was sitting behind me with my mom and he got out as we're all kind of mocking these trains and he hit a train like a pinata and then all this candy comes out and they look like very extra large peanut butter cups.

and I wasn't going to get me. I was like, yeah, whatever. But then I reached down and got a dark chocolate one. And I noticed as I was doing that, that there was a purple lip gloss. And it looks like my actual lip gloss. So I grabbed it. But once it was in my lap,

I realized it was actually pink lip gloss. And so I thought, oh, this is probably my aunt Carolyn's who was sitting ahead of me. And so maybe I'll give it to her when we stop. So that was part two. Two seconds. here. I also had an Aunt Caroline.

Okay, good. Next, next step. And then in the third scene, I'm with my husband and we're standing outside of a car. And there's a bunch of people kind of all piling in all four doors. And before we could get in, though, we thought we were locked out. And then someone realized they had hidden a key and this canister behind the back left wheel. So then we're all piling in and turns out two of the people coming in are a couple, a gay couple. And one of the guys said, marriage takes a lot of work. And everyone in the car nodded, but kind of happily, like, oh, yeah, it's a lot of work.

But, like, it's also joyful. And that was it for part three. Okay. Okay. Next. Yeah, there's just two more parts. So then part four, I'm in an art studio slash workshop. And there's this really vibrant kind of young guy, probably in his 30s, and he's a children's book author and illustrator. And he's showing me these miniature models, which are the basis of his illustrations.

And they're all in primary colors, like red, blue, and yellow. And one of them is like a kitchen table and chairs. And he had won a Caldecott Medal recently. And I felt very, like, excited and an awe to be in his presence and in his studio. Okay. I learned how to take a shorthand. Okay. All right.

Next. Okay. The last part, part five, is Jason and I are with two friends of ours who's a couple, Jeff and Stephanie. And we're on this really cool adventure in this kind of cosmic looking museum. And I had a paper cup in my hand, a white paper cup that had like bubbly water or some sort of drink in it. There was a little bit left, but not a lot.

And I was just enjoying it. And then we walk by this kind of bubbly potion, not really a cauldron again. It's kind of like a canister shape and it was white. And it had light, it was like light green and white. And it smelled like candy apple and ice cream. And my husband looked at it first and he says, I don't think there's any left.

But I was like, no, there definitely is. There's a lot. And so I said that without even looking in. And then I looked in and there was tons of this potion. And so I filled up my cup and it tasted delicious. And that was the end. I had to stop writing and change the page there. So, yeah, no worries.

Let me get that from you one more time as far as you're walking past a kind of bubbly cauldron. There's like a candy apple and ice cream. Mellon look. It's like light green and it smells like candy apple and ice cream. It's light green, but it's also foamy, kind of like a root bear float. But this was like a candy apple float, like a green candy apple float. And my husband says, I don't think there's a. any left, kind of like, oh, I think it's all gone. But I said, no, there's a lot left. And I looked in

and I was right. There was a lot left. And then I filled up my cup and took a dreamkin. It was delicious. Oh, right. And these were all kind of same night back to back to back to back. Is that typical for you to have a lot of multiple, multiple dream nights or? Yeah, I would say when I do dream, which isn't every night, but when I do dream, I normally have at least three, sometimes like this night, five. And every once in a while, I won't have a dream, but I'll wake up with like just one image or a feeling or color or something like that. But when I do dream, this is kind of common. Yeah.

Gotcha. And did you have any sense that it was all strung together as one dream or very distinctly separate sections of dream that were separated by time or other dream material you don't remember? No, it felt like they were all back to back, because I remember waking up at 4 a.m. to feed the baby, and I was like, oh, man, I haven't any dreams yet. I hope I have some dreams to bring to this, you know, this show. I have my dream journal I could go back to, but I kind of wanted something fresh. Oh, yeah, fresh is always best. I know it happened between 4 and 6 a.m. And it felt like it was all just back to back. Gotcha. So the reason I ask is that it very well could have been multiple separate dreams, but this is also typical of a single dream, or, or, you know, or. typical very common to have people say I went through a lot of different scenarios that all seemed to flow one after the other even if I didn't know what connection was to them and sometimes we can figure that out together like what's the connection so remember I was

mentioning earlier that I had just one person where we spent four and a half hours they had a dream like this they had a dream that was like in five different sections now they had a lot more material for each section and maybe we'll get to that but But even these brief descriptions gives us, I mean, we got basically two full pages of just general descriptions. So enough of that. Let me actually put one, two, I should have been doing this before. This was three, four, five. Because I'm going to try and go back and keep them in order as well.

So you've got the very first first dream. here or first section. And it's also very common to say have just a radical scene change in dreams. Sometimes they play out like movies. And, you know, like in a movie, they have the meeting in the boardroom. And then that transitions to, well, they're having two of the people who at the meeting are now in the car park. And they're getting into their vehicles and having a goodbye. And then one of them drives somewhere.

And now we're in a driving scene. And it's like sometimes it's all one narrative. And sometimes it shifts pretty radically. but a lot of the characters stayed the same. It's very central to your husband, big, big part of these dreams. Your parents were there. No mention of your kids, so probably not involving them necessarily. So it isn't, what would I say about that?

Sometimes the counterfactuals give us some interesting ideas. It's like, well, this probably wasn't, this was more of a, your relationship with other adults on that level of adult relationship. rather because if you brought your kids to do it would probably mean something else. But we're probably looking at that or at least that's a direction to look. So you start

the opening scene in your mind for whatever reason. You and your husband are home in the living room and there's a kind of basement slash garage type of thing and your parents are coming in. Now you did involve the kids in terms of like where's the baby but

this part i um i think i missed some of the material you went to the baby's room and the baby was there or was not there no we the dream switched before we even got there i was on my way to the baby's room but trying to turn off the lights in the living room and i couldn't find out how to turn them off okay very interesting and so and your parents were coming in and they asked where's the baby or they or you just had that thought inspired by yeah i asked my husband my husband and i were in the basement living room i asked my husband i was like i think that's my parents um where's the baby he said oh he's in you know this adjacent room so i was going towards that room and turning off the light as i went but the lights which i turned off didn't actually

turn off the overhead lights so then i tried like two or three other switches and they would like turn on different lights or turn off something, but they were not connected to the overhead lights. Okay. So we got going on there is, so your parental figures come in. And from your husband, or in his mouth, you put the question of orienting you towards, okay, now think of your child in a way. And you were going to go to see them, almost in a way your parents were coming in to see you. So there's kind of a mimicry there. It's, you're going to turn this off, aren't you? Don't don't do that don't do that I love you Bobba

We're still recording Yeah his name is Bubba Like Bobba Gump shrimp company Yeah I call my Bubba boy There you go But you didn't You didn't actually go all the way

It could have been a very simple Very simply I walked down the hall and there's a kid And I've verified in my mind that they're safe And that that's its own type of meeting But it was, I think, I think I'm on to some, but I don't know what it is, but the idea of the arrival of the parents is, is, it's going to change the dynamic of what you're thinking about. You're in relaxation with my partner mode. Then you're like, okay, now generational dynamics in a way, you know, I am their child, whereas my child would naturally perhaps occur to you.

But you've got this failure to operate the mechanical devices properly. You can't figure out the switches. Is there's, and I don't know if you've been contemplating that later on, the idea of am I as good apparent as my parents were? Or has there been any reason to question that or any recent occurrence where you were like, I need to reach out for advice because I don't know what to do. Who do I call? I call my parents. My dad sexually abused me when I was young and I'm estranged from my parents. I haven't talked to my parents in 10 years.

Oh, my goodness. Okay. So, yeah. That was not weird. That's not what I thought that face meant. It's okay. It's kind of weird they're in my dream because I haven't had a dream about them in years. Like I couldn't tell you the last time I had a dream about my parents.

So that's a bit strange. I mean, the reason they're not in my life is for a few different reasons, but part of which is because I have my own family now and they are not a healthy influence on my children. And so I don't want there to be kind of like, yeah, I just have very strong boundaries. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. No, that's reasonable too. I think I'm a much better parent than they were, but, you know, there was a complete lack of boundaries growing up.

So maybe is there a part of me that is, you know, trying to encroach on my children's boundaries or, but I'm not, I'm actually not doing it because there's too much light. Like, I don't know. Well, yeah, what was the purpose of turning the lights on or off? You were trying to, like, turn them off in the living room because you were leaving that area and trying to turn on like a whole light to light. I didn't want them to know I was there. I thought if I turned off the light, I thought if I turned off the light to hide

they would make no one's home and they would like go upstairs because their their like stuff is upstairs. It's not it wasn't clear that it was their house. I don't know whose house it was. But it was more like, oh, I think my parents were here. Wasn't even your home. No. I don't know.

Okay. That's good to know too. Okay. That's interesting too. Okay. Well, this is why. I, this is why I ask questions, and I'm happy to be wrong. I don't typically assume people had an abuse history with their parents.

It's common enough that it doesn't surprise me, but I don't make that assumptions as good that you would clarify that too. So I don't, I think I'm still seeing something in that regard of comparison. So there was, when you're, whether your experience with your parents was good or bad, you're going to use that as a reference point for your own. experience. So if it was bad, you want to do better. If it was good, you want to be as good as. So you're still, you almost can't escape from that in some degree. Your parents are, whether I say the sins of the father's visited on the child, always. Every mistake a parent made the child who's helpless is going to suffer from it. Whether the parent was malicious or just an idiot or doing the best they can and we're only human, the mistakes will flow regardless. So, so yeah, definitely.

So there's something going on there. And you're not even in your own home. You're, but, but it didn't, what I say? That, I think you maybe didn't mention that until we,

uh, started talking about it. And so of course, I assumed it's your house. But that may be another layer as well is where you're, I don't, so there's a, uh,

dreams love puns and analogies and different things like that. So, you know, being in a house, but it's not your home in a sense is like, well, you've got, you know,

what is it that makes a house a home. There's elements like, well, some people say love. There's a lot of different answers. You know, it's the place you want to go back to. But you can never go home again because you're different when you, when you come back,

that kind of thing. Mm-hmm. So we've got a lot that going on there. So there's definitely, if we kind of sum that up a little bit, we got an idea of thinking, I guess, about the

concept of parenthood and executing it well. And what you're finding is that you're unable to operate the lights properly to hide from the impact of what happened to you when you were younger. You know, there's no, or at least at the present moment, you don't know how to separate that to the degree you might like to, to keep that out of your life. It's, it's coming in.

You can't turn the lights off. You can't figure out a way to hide from it in a sense. So there's, yeah, so the impact of a parent child, just on parenting in general. We got a little bit of something there. If that feels like it kind of resonates a bit. I mean, if I ever say something, like I said, I'm happy to be wrong. If I ever say, offer a suggestion. And you're like, I don't see that at all.

I don't feel that in any way. I'm like, well, then I'm completely wrong. Let's try something else. I'd rather, I'd rather get that kind of feedback. What I describe it as, you know, I am just a crazy person on the internet who thinks he's a wizard. I don't have any magic powers. I don't hear the voice of God. I don't communicate with spirits.

I don't get psychic visions other than inspirations. What if? What if it's this? Let me see if this fits. I describe it as you invite me into your head and I stand behind your shoulder with a flashlight going, what do you see over there? Is that, what if we look at it from this angle? That's as far as I can go. The rest of it is, you know, none of a, the answers are not in my hands.

head. Um, okay. So then we got section two. Now what, what, what I try to do is, is construct the narrative across like, what's the through line that that tells a story of the dream if I can. Um, can't always do that. But so in the second section, then you're in a large warehouse with trains, but they're, they're more like box car frames rather than framed in box cars. Um, so they're not, they're not quite useful. They're not quite fit for purpose. yet like there may be under construction um and i wrote down you know some literally this is what i wrote down some red boxcar quote floating red part unquote gets did that does that kind of describe did i even write that down correctly yes that's exactly what i said some of them were just boxcar frames

some were a frame that only the top part was filled in which i know it was not physically possible but like it was like half a box car but it was the upper half oh gotcha okay That is very interesting. Like physically impossible box cars there too. So there were also, if it's a train warehouse, so to speak, like what do they call them like the terminal stations where they've got some of the rotating platforms that'll allow them to turn the cars around and whatnot. So there were multiple rail lines running through it. And you and some other passengers were on one of those lines and kind of a golf, open air golf cart tram style. Yeah, it was more like we were just kind of, it was like these trains didn't even have track.

they were just there. They weren't necessarily running. They were just there. But we were in the tram and the tram was moving. And the tram was just like on the linoleum floor. Okay. Okay. So almost like,

I don't know what they used to call it like a Disney like people mover style thing. I've seen those before too. I've actually been in California. Oh, this was like 30 years ago. Where they had open air train cars because they were doing summer. time or springtime trips up a mountain with an old school train and they wanted you to be able

to see the trees and whatnot and it was just completely uh anyway like that or they might have been a shade cover but it was wide open like like a golf cart um okay let me read through this part again here um so it's you and other people taking a tour and uh did it seem like uh crowded or just you know well attended sort of like as far as other passengers not packed but but plenty of people taking advantage. Okay. And other people were making comments that were mocking of the warehouse, ridiculous waste of resources in space.

And then once again, your mom and dad are there, and your dad performs in action, hits the train like a pinata, candy, peanut butter cups falls out. And first you weren't going to take one, but then you decided you would. and then what you actually found when you went looking in the pile was purple lip lip gloss that maybe belonged to an aunt. That was your dad sister or mom's sister?

My mom's sister. Mom's sister. Okay. So what I'm seeing there, what the shape of it looks like to me is you've got tools in a in a toolbox in a way, but they're not fit for purpose. They're not on tracks. They're not even finished being consulate. constructed. So if we follow that from the last one, where you're thinking about the impact of your parent-child relationship on your current relationship and maybe parenting style, what did your

parents leave you with as a result of the dysfunction? Well, they didn't give you the tools you need. They didn't put the tools in the toolbox. They didn't give you the example to follow where you could be relatively certain that, okay, if I just do what they did, at least I can't screw. it up any worse than they did and maybe I can do it better but at least they gave you a good example to start with and a resource that that's a big thing too is like not only do you need a good childhood you need good parents your entire life because eventually you have your own kids and you got to go mom I don't know what to do and you got to be able to go to somebody and it's ideal if it's your own parents because you can trust them because they raised you well and you think they know what they're

doing and they care enough to give you good advice all that but then when you don't have that you're in you're in a much more difficult situation. Now I need to find someone I can trust who knows what they're talking about and doesn't just care but doesn't know what they're talking about and also is willing to take the time and all of the above

and that you know see me through the process using a lot of words. I just ramble until I say something that resonates with people. And what you've, what you're doing is you're in your mind it seems to me is taking a tour through this facility to observe what's there.

what so that's why I drew it back to to the first one where you're like okay I don't want my parents in my life but I acknowledge that they're gone for a good reason and that means I was left without tools what does that look like okay it's like being in a train station where not only are they not on tracks but you can't even put things in the box cars because they're not finished being built they haven't become useful tools and in a way it seems like maybe you're putting this into the third party feedback. So it's not just you saying to your husband or him saying to you, oh, look at those cars. They're a wasted. You've got the peanut gallery in your head of maybe what other people in a similar situation to you would be saying, well, this is ridiculous. These are not fit for purpose.

It is, in the way you phrase it was a waste of resources in space, but it's just, what does it mean for something to be a waste? It's like, it's a shame. It's unfortunate that this is not useful. It's like it should be or could be. And I think in a way, it does a little bit of a recursive loop and it brings your parents back in. And suddenly they're present because it was kind of still about them. You're in that flow.

And they've got, you've got your dad hitting a train like a pinata and it bursts into candy. So there's probably a part of you. you, and I mean, you can tell me if I'm wrong, but this is not uncommon at all. Probably part of you that still loves him, even if you hate him in equal measure or significantly more. So there's a violent act of bashing the pinata, which we think of as celebratory, but it's kind of weird that you're at a party trying to destroy something to make it give you candy. So there's probably a piece of you that says, okay, look, it wasn't. all bad. There's there's gems gold in the in the mud of the river so to speak. Um, and okay. So I could acknowledge that and then, but you don't know if you even want to take that.

If you even want to give him that much the satisfaction of saying I, uh, you know, the one part of it would be, I'm not taking anything from you. Anything. Anything. But then sometimes if we're going to be honest with ourselves, we say, well, that one thing they did was good and true and useful. And I shouldn't throw that out with the bathwater because I'm only hurting myself not to acknowledge that, even if I have to give them even a shred of credit. So you wrestle with yourself for a moment. You say, I don't really want it. I guess I'll take it.

It's actually a good thing. It's actually something I like. So I will take this. Why not? Why not allow myself this? But then what you found in the act of allowing yourself to have that thing. that you like is you found a connection to another elder relative on your mom's side. And then, so this would be a good point to say, I mean, what do you think you got from her in

connection to where this dream's going so far? What role model did she provide for you? Or, you know, was she someone that tried to stick up for you when you were young? No, it's really strange. Like, I mean, I've never had a dream about her. My mom is one of eight, and this is her younger, a younger sister. She has three younger sisters, but it's the next end line to her younger sister. And we did not have very much connection at all.

I am trying to think of a nice way to say this. Like, sometimes people in the family, particularly than my parents, would kind of complain about her behind her back. because she had four kids and the grandma, my mom's mom, was basically raising her kids for a long time. And my mom felt bitter about that because she didn't have a good connection with her mom. And she thought that her sister was using her mom. And like, there's just my mom's family has a ton of drama. So however, this aunt remarried or married someone kind of later in life who's a pastor. and now has from the outside looking in like a very,

like a very functional, you know, marriage. And from what I can tell, her kids are thriving. So it feels to me like she might represent kind of turning your life around or going from like the black sheep to, you know, something else in the family system. I don't, I don't know. I think so, too. That's actually, as you were describing that, that's exactly what I was thinking. The idea of, I mean, she means something.

She represents something. why this icon of hers in the pile. And maybe there's a connection, how do I phrase it? The idea that if you take the good, you may end up capable of following her example. That by opening yourself to, okay, some was bad. We're going to project that. We're not going to do that.

We're not going to like that. We don't have to. Boundaries, ma'am. And then, okay, but if I take the candy, because that's okay, what do I find in there? I take the good stuff. and maybe that's what leads me to maybe being able to follow her example, something, something like that. And then it's, so a lot of this is going to be like comparisons to your situation and, and others,

hers specifically on that one. So, and you, um, you had this dream just a few days ago. So this is all, in a way, water under the bridge. It's maybe it's not the right, right analogy, but the idea of this is all reflecting on the past and where are you now and what other people have, in your life had maybe accomplished something similar by point of comparison. So it may not be any more complicated than that. I don't think so. I feel like I'm missing something, but I always do.

I wouldn't believe this. Oh, did you have a new thought or? No, no, okay. That's perfectly fine. Stop me anytime. Let's see. And that was pretty much the end of that section. And then you were with your husband standing outside of a car and there were people piling into the car.

Now, like, comically piling in clown car style or just several people and they were getting in. Yeah, just several people. But you thought you were locked out or you were locked out? Like you tested the handle and wouldn't open type of thing. Every, like there was, in my mind, there was seven of us. There were seven of us standing outside of this large car. kind of like an escalate or something. And none of us could get in.

I think everyone tried to handle. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. And then a guy across from me leaned down and found this like metal canister behind one of the wheels that had the key. And he's the same guy that once he got inside and we were all inside said, marriage takes a lot of work, huh? And smiled and everyone started smiling. Okay.

Gotcha. Gotcha. What an interesting thing to say. almost unrelated to anything you just went through to get there. It's like why that analogy in practice and then those words to describe it afterwards. So a car is, so you're with other people, again, so there's social dynamics or social comparison going on or a defined group of people, which usually says whether some people who are in the group and others who are not because they don't have share characteristics or behaviors, etc. And you've got a vehicle, which is transportation. It's going to take us from one place to another, typically.

Not always, but in the sense it seemed like, I mean, you all wanted to get into the car. You weren't just going to sit there. You're ostensibly going somewhere. But you were locked out of the car. So the means of travel from one place to another, of perhaps transformation, of changing your life from I'm here, now I'm over there, is being denied to you. And then there's, and I think you said it was a gay couple, specifically, a married, gay couple or you would assume because of his comment later and there at least one of

those men was the one who found the key and it was in a container or canister of some kind under one of the wheels and behind behind the wheels like it wouldn't be run over if it was well the car's not going away without the key um that is very interesting the first thing he popped that I'm here was hide a key I have a hidea key and sometimes you you patch your pockets you didn't bring what you need with you, but luckily, you planned ahead long ago to the point where what you need was already there, just in case of emergency, in case of emergency, break canister in some ways. But I think it was, I would say, do you have a gay couple in your life that you've drawn parenting examples for, no, just completely shaking your head? Interesting. So that

would be wondered. It's like, why? Why not gay, I suppose, but I mean, you would think it would be closer to your own example. Like, well, okay, I'm married to a man, so I would show a couple like that closer to me. Maybe that's the point is that it's a different composition of relationship that nonetheless works for its own reason. So maybe there's a comparison going on there as well. Something about looking at it from a different perspective that allowed you to find the key. It's like the secret to the key was going through that example to get to the key so you could get into the car and go where you need to go. I don't know what that means, but it'll probably be highly personal to you.

So the person in whom you vested the embodiment of success, successfully entering the vehicle to begin the journey to a new destination, is also the same person. Into whose mouth you put the concept that marriage takes a lot of work. but it's worth it, I think was the line. And that everyone there agreed. So there was kind of a group consensus thing. But then also someone else in the group added and joyful. It's worth it and joyful? No, joyful was just my like interpretation of that guy saying it,

but everyone's smiling, kind of like smiling and nodding. Like, yeah, because it wasn't like, oh, marriage takes a lot of work. It's like marriage takes a lot of work. And then a smile. gotcha yeah yeah but it being worth it and then yeah yeah because if it was and it's not worth it that's not joyful uh and it's worth it is is very much joyful so especially when it provides whatever key to success is necessary uh that gets a horrible way to phrase it but uh it's like there's things we can accomplish together in partnership that we just would extremely struggle with on our

own if we could do it at all it's like it's not a guarantee of failure but it's like you're more likely to fail. And it's easier and sometimes only possible in partnership with someone. And you might have made them gay because you're like, okay, I don't want to confuse this as coming from a feminine perspective at all. There's something about specifically the mask. It's such a masculine perspective that it's two masculines married to each other rather than masculine feminine. So maybe there's something to look for in that regard that may be a more masculine approach to some. thing. And then there's this question, well, what does that mean? There's a lot of definitions,

but then there's like, what does it mean to you? No, I think that's really helpful because one of the things that's been in the back of my mind the last few weeks is how to set healthy boundaries with my daughter. And that's hard for me sometimes because the way boundaries were role modeled and my family was not good. So I totally agree with you. It makes a lot of sense to me that this part of the dream represents a shift from my family or even my mom's extended family. into my husband and in general like a healthier masculine principle for helping me become a better parent. Yeah. And if we broke it down a little bit from the, from a, um, neither one is is better or worse perspective. The feminine would be more, um, intimate connection and the masculine would be

more healthy separation, you know, intimate closeness versus healthy separation. Um, and I don't, know anything about your daughter or you or enough about you to give advice on that regard too. But I think just thinking about, yes, setting healthy boundaries too. It's like what is what is the ultimate goal of that? I mean, at the end of the day, you want what is best for her and you want a good relationship with her. So whatever rules or boundaries you're setting, it's to preserve that connection over time while not driving each other crazy in the moment. So, I mean, just examples are things like if we both start raising our voices, we take a timeout. We just stop for at least 10 minutes.

And maybe that, I mean, that's a boundary. And it's nobody's fault. And if you're the one who raises your voice first, say, I need a time out. I need to put myself in time out. Then you can model that behavior too. Just random generic ideas where a lot of it, you know, teenagers are very, and you probably know this. We all were, but we forget sometimes. Very touchy pride because we're so powerless in the world when we're young and then

struggling with her parents and like they're only human and they're not right about everything but they're right about most things but i can't tell them that because i don't want to be wrong right now all god i was a pretty headstrong headstrong little shit i know all about i know all about that oh i had a lot of apologizing to do you know what the greatest thing was is they my uh so a little thing with me and my my hi mom if you're out there i won't say too much but she and i are very similar and very different in a lot of ways uh but one of those ways we were very similar was she thought she could have done better and I think I could have done better. Now, we're both right and we're both wrong, but it was nice hearing it from the other one that, you know, I go, I'm sorry.

I was such a little shit. And she says, you weren't that bad. And she says, I wish I was a better mother. I was like, you were a great mom. And I'm not even just blowing smoke. I'm like, I've seen other people's parents. They weren't so great maybe or they didn't try as hard or they didn't care as much or they didn't show it in their own ways. And it's just nice to be able to reach an adulthood and look at your relationship with their parents and go, you know, we didn't screw it up too bad.

That was that was okay. That was all right. I can live with it. Not resentful. That's got you. You don't want to be resentful for your whole entire life. If you can avoid it. Something is hard to let go of and something should not be forgiven, but in that regard.

But otherwise, you just try and try and get along. I think this is amazing. We got we got something roll. We got something rolling here. Yeah. Okay. Going down to the next section. Where do you go next then?

Where does the car take you in a sense? Like you went through this transitional, but can we even get to the point of access accessing movement in the direction we want to go when you find the key you get in there hey this is worth it it's joyful it takes you to an art studio a create the the iconic creative space um now now i don't know whether that is um and you can tell me are you aspirational looking to be more creative or or are you showing yourself okay now i am i have finally arrived at the location where it's possible to be creative. I am now in the art studio.

You weren't outside. You weren't locked out. You weren't lost looking for a place you couldn't find. You arrived. And then what to do with that? Well, maybe some of the interaction in there will do it. I think you said this was a male artist again. So that would flow from the previous one that, okay, if you're looking at a more maybe broadly

masculine perspective on how to accomplish something. specific or adopt that seeing if that line of reasoning takes you someplace different than the alternative perhaps so okay staying in that frame of mind okay now we have a male artist where we're artistic and creative from within the male space or masculine space um and it's very vibrant art primary colors i think you were saying um and that one of the art displays was also functional it was a kitchen table and chairs? Yeah. And that's very interesting.

And it was a normal size shape. It wasn't like a giant oversized. It was miniature. It was miniature. Okay. Yes. It was miniature. Okay.

Because I was going to say if it was when I thought it was a normal size and shape, it was like not only is it artistic. It's functional, but this is not functional. This is purely representational. This is look at it for the type of thing that it is rather than trying to use it as the thing it is. What was that? Yeah.

I don't know. It's almost like the artist had created this small scale table and chairs out of, it was like clay and toothpicks and all this stuff in the red, yellow and blue color scheme. And then that is what he took a picture of to make one of the illustrations for the children's book. Interesting. So he did, he put a lot of work and thought into it. And he wanted to, he wanted a functional miniature model to draw the most. realistic representation of for someone else.

And that's the word draw suddenly hit me as something that's like we we draw. We create an image with our hands, with tools and whatnot. But we also draw meaning from experiences in that sense to pull forth or to, I don't have all the definite, but that word struck me as something that was like that had multiple meanings in some level. So the idea of collecting that artistry into a book is it's multiple instances of representations of different concepts.

And why a kitchen table and chair or chairs? Why not something else? What is it about that that stuck out to your, but why is it that you wanted to show yourself in this space? I don't know. I mean, I guess we could look at just what is kitchen table. And the idea of a kitchen table or the kitchen space mean to you is that something you have strong associations with or somewhere you spend a lot of time, somewhere you wish you could spend more time. Your favorite part of the day coming home to have a meal with family, what do you think? I love our kitchen.

And it's all kind of an open space. So there's the kitchen and the table we eat at and then the living room with TV. I do spend a lot of time at the kitchen table with my daughter doing crafts. And, you know, I can see it's like doing something like this, actually, if there was a craft book. So. Yeah, sure. Well, not only that is a, you've got an artist studio, the iconic creative space. But then you've got the sometimes our brain does this too, like macrocosm to microcosm as well. It's like you've got a artist studio and within it is the kitchen table, which is actually our artist studio at home where I spend time with.

my daughter. So maybe there's an element to that as well as like, okay, if I'm going to have a positive relationship with her, I got to lean into the things we share in common and the time we spend together that's fun because it can't all be serious business. But then those are the best opportunities for bonding and for discussions, lighthearted discussions, sometimes about serious things where you can be like, let's just talk about it. I'm not here to judge you. I'm not here to give you advice or shake a finger or tell you you did anything wrong. How do you feel? what's going on um so that might be part of it too it's like you're thinking your way through okay now how do i apply this process i'm thinking of trying to create or looking for the where um

what's my best opportunity to put this in practice is is what i was thinking uh and it'd probably be sitting around the kid and then this this artist creativity you gave it the you said the caldecott award what what is that specifically um i think it's just like a i don't know exemplary children's book or something. It sounds familiar. Yeah. Yeah, I don't really even know too much about it, but I've seen it. It's like this little silver kind of medallion embossed on certain books. That's why it seemed familiar, because I knew I'd heard it before. I just didn't know if it was specifically for like, you know, young adult sci-fi or something. It could have had a specific brand attached, but it might just be four kids exemplary work, uh, uh, recognition.

um in in that style uh and you it's what did i write down here excited to just be in the presence of an artist and in his studio so there was an um and you're definitely bringing in an enthusiasm to the examination of the subject you weren't uh let's see counterfactuals you did not feel awkward you did not feel out of place you did not feel like you were trespassing you were not trying to hide from the artist who surreptitiously view his work you were full full fully present and and and well I don't think I need to say that six six different ways. So there is that that going in there. It's probably okay. So part of it, what does that mean? You were giving yourself permission to fully inhabit the space in a sense of like,

okay, I can be here. I can be here as an observer, as a student, as an appreciator, as someone taking it in. And but but also. So as we were saying earlier, you're probably looking for, okay, how do I do this other stuff that's led me up to this point? Now, practical application, what does it look like? And a kind of a reverence for that creative process in a way, in yourself as well. And you're excited and, well, excited at the very least, like the potential, the, I'm going to see something interesting and experience something. So probably the prospect of implementing these This discussion maybe with your daughter or trying to connect with her better and understand each other

You weren't viewing it as a chore You weren't viewing it as Something you dreaded because you felt really incompetent completely You're actually excited to come okay, this is a challenge I can take this on how do I how do I do this? How do I make this better? That seems Seems very likely there Okay, we're actually kind of breezes through these in a little bit. I'm so glad each section was pretty short. That's that's fantastic.

The other gal I talked to, she had about four sections and each one was its own separate page before we started talking about it. And then you don't even want to know. It was, I would do it again. I would do it again. And if this, if this turned into that, I'd be fine with it too. I'm trying to respect your time later. A little better than that, too. Um, okay, so we were on number five, I think. I didn't even write anything before. Um, okay, now you refocused yourself. a little bit more to you're with your husband and another couple and what I wrote down was Jeff and Steph I just like it's like alliterations. Yeah.

Well, no, no, that's rhyming. Alliteration is at the beginning. Real rhyming is it anyway. And you're in a cosmic museum. Okay, here's that's as much as I got. So it's you and another couple. Now, were you the only ones there or you're just there with them and other people? It's like a larger tour.

I don't know. I know I don't know if there was other people there or not. My sense is that there were, but there were any other people kind of in our immediate surroundings or like in the room that we were in. Fair enough. So not a private event, more of an open to the public type of thing,

or you weren't in an empty space with just those two other people. Gotcha. And that's fine too. So there's, that may or may not mean anything, just trying to see it a little bit better. What do you, what did you mean by Cosmic Museum in terms of,

are we looking like like like the lighting like a bunch of like multicolored LEDs and like white walls and it felt like um like being in a supernova or something i don't know or being being in um it felt it felt like otherworldly i guess is maybe a better way to say it okay and what was it that made it a museum there were just there were artifacts displays um Yeah, it felt like we were looking at, so in the exact scene that we were in with this like, you know, white cylinder that's bubbling up with the candy apple and everything. There were no pieces of art. But my sense was that there were like galleries and other spaces with art. But the, but the like vibe of all of it was very, you know, neon green and neon pink and electric. And so it was a museum, but it was.

it was not like old school art. It was more like, I couldn't even put a genre on it. It just felt like art that's not even being made right now or something. Or maybe like fractal old. Like a cutting edge. It wasn't exactly a museum of the past necessarily, but almost a museum of the future. Yes. Yeah.

It was like, and it was also like not just the art itself. It felt like concepts. And it's a little hard for me to wrap my head around because it was. was just very bright and very colorful and and it felt interactive. I mean, have you ever, have you ever been to Meow Wolf? No, I don't know what that is. Okay, it's like an interactive art thing.

It wasn't exactly like that, but it was, it just felt a little bit like cosmic, psychedelic, kind of bright, bright lights and energy and, um, yeah. I had to try to remember how to spell psychedelic. I'm just writing these things down to that this is it. notes are a mess. You should look at these. They're just, and then I add stuff and then I circle it to say, okay, that's not part of the previous

sentence. That was actually a separate concept. I just stuck on that line. And it's in no particular order either because I just want to get these words so I can look at them and go, okay, what is this word constellation? What are we working with here? I have been to the exploratorium in San Francisco, which is a little kid's science place, went through years ago. Yeah, so kind of like that before adults. Gotcha. Yeah, too. And it's like the next step up. It's like in a way it's the it's a natural progression. Where does the artist's art go after the studio? It goes to a display. It goes to the public to see it and experience it. And for you it's very and again, it's not this was not a series of dreams that was

nightmarish, doom and gloom. Even if it had some elements of an unpleasant past, they were worked in for a reason. They were not dwelt upon. They, where they didn't ruin everything. It's just, okay, that was there. That happened. That's a part of it. And moving along. So, yeah, you get to this part.

Okay, now the result of a creative process is something that in your mind is, you're, and it's funny that you're, you don't, it's not funny. It's understandable. It seems perfectly right that there was no single display you could go. And in the left hand corner, three feet from the floor was exactly this vase on a, vase on a pedestal. whatever. It's more that's just the concept of trying to imagine something you haven't thought of yet. Yes. Now, how would you describe a concept you haven't invented even in your own mind yet? Well, what gets us there? It's opening our mind to this. It might be, you know, bright colors.

A psychedelic neon. It's it's something. It's otherworldly. And when you said otherworldly, too, that my brain popped on that as well. The idea of there's a world before you, understand the concept and then there's the world you live in after that concept has become coherent and you can put it into practice. So imagining a place that you're going to but haven't gotten yet and you don't know what's going to be there, it is literally otherworldly. That's the other world you haven't arrived at yet. Haven't splashed down on Mars, you know, that kind of thing.

Then we'll find out where the little green men went to. I think they're living, I think they're living underground. No, I think they're all dead. I think they, well, my favorite theory, they came here. Mars became uninhabitable and they came here and assisted the evolution of monkeys. And those were the Nephilim from the sky. They were the sons of the gods that came down to Earth.

And I heard that theory the other day. I'm like, I like that one. I got some theories about Atlantis too. It's like, uh, totally in LaMaria and Egypt. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, so much good stuff. um okay but then so you put yourself in an environment representative of the results of an artistic

process that has not yet become finalized or instantiated so to speak not given form and what you find there is you have a it's very interesting you have a paper cup why why why a paper cup and it's now it could be it could mean nothing some people would say everything means something but we we may never figured out too paper cups are um temporary, tentative. You didn't pull out, you know, you didn't get a thin crystal goblet from the table and carry it over there. You know, you didn't pull out a thermos and dispense your own stuff.

There's something for you to drink in, drink up at this place. And again, you've given it a pleasant taste. What am I trying to say? I mean, I assume you like candy apple and ice cream. So I'm not, right? I'm not supposed to. Right, exactly. A very strange, interesting couple.

I've had some cocktails there like that too. It's like, what is this? Like you've had, I don't know examples off the top of my head, but things where I'm like, that sounds weird and I tasted up like that was really good. It's like, how do they make a birthday cake shot, chocolate cake out of things that are like, there's no chocolate in this. Yeah. It's very weird.

It's cool. Type of it. Yeah, yeah. They even, with the chocolate cake shots, they get it. It feels like the after taste of having eaten a spongy cake. Weird, weird that they can accomplish that. It's genius stuff. So you're there.

Okay, so again, you've got you and your husband, and you've got Jeff and Steph, and they're a couple. And they have kids also parents or married, married parents? They both have kids, but separately. But I do really respect. I don't know that much about her and her kids, but I think he's an amazing father. So he would be, that would make sense, right?

Like if I'm changing the tradition of learning from my parents to learn from these men and then a male artist. And now this guy who I really like how he's raised his two daughters. Nice. But there's a reason he was there with you. that's what I was getting around to as well. So what do these folks represent? And you've got definitely, we were talking about like shadow, shadow side earlier, like whatever we don't bring to light is going to affect us unconsciously. Better to have it affect us consciously and that we

can understand it and shoot, make, make better choices. So a lot of this does definitely seem to be a dream about how do I, I personally develop a better relationship with the masculine. Like, what does it look like for a father to be a good father? as opposed to what I experienced. So it's going to be a very different thing. And so you're going to be looking for examples in your life. So you brought your husband with you because that's necessary. You need him to be the good father.

So he's got to come with you on this journey. And you brought another person you respect with you, which is, okay, here's another exemplar. I can use, I want him in, taken into consideration in this creative process. I'm trying, I'm trying to do. And then there's a. I just want to mention that this guy, John, he's also an artist. And he's really good friends with Jason. So he is already, like Jason is kind of learning also from him about how to be a good father.

And yeah. Very nice. I think that's one of the most important things we can have in our life in general is, is those role models at any age. I mean, I'm pushing 50. And I still looked up to my parents, you know, and I look to older wizards who have accomplished much more than I to let me know whether I'm doing it right or not. I can only hope that I live up to that example.

example. And then you've got this, you've got this thing. So paper cup, maybe, okay, the thought that occurred to me with paper cup is, uh, you might rightly or wrongly feel like the tools you're bringing are a little bit inadequate. Hey, it'll get the job done. It's just a paper cup. You know, it's not very sturdy. It's not meant for multiple uses. I'm new at this. I, and maybe you didn't bring something of higher value because you don't think you have that yet to bring to the table. but also you experiment at low cost initially to keep yourself from being overinvested or making a huge mistake that's very costly. So paper cup could be go easy on this, start slow, bring just enough of a tool to get the job done

and then go from there. I think you get the idea. I belabor the point sometimes. It's great. That's super helpful. Yeah. I mean, why the paper cup? That's what came to my mind.

And then you've got this liquid. So there's a kind of a cylindrical pedestal almost in the floor. Is that what I was seeing? No, actually, like, it was almost like it was part of the installation. It's like there's something sticking out of the wall that's holding this cylinder. And in the cylinder is this potion. Okay. Fair enough.

Fair enough. And that may not be the, what am I saying? the physical manifestation of the thing may not be the point of it at all. There's probably a reason you put it in that form, but it may not be, be, I think what's, what's critical more than anything is it's, it's got a, I think what you would describe or what you would reflecting on it would say is kind of an appealing or attractive quality to it. It's like, you know, it catches your, it's attention grabbing.

So it's like, hey, look at me. And then not only is it attention grabbing, but it's actually. delicious as well. It's got something in there that it's like, it's not like it looks good and you taste it and it was sewer water and you're like, ooh, why did I do the, and you spit it out? No, no, this was something that it attracted your attention

and it was delicious. So you're giving yourself, it was like a rewarding experience out of attending to this detail. And you've got your husband saying, I don't think there's any left, but before you even looked, you're like, no, there's definitely something. there.

And you went over and filled your cup and it was delicious. So you, you've got, maybe, what am I saying? I start so many, I would, I would love to see how Google transcripts these things.

I start so many sentences I never finish. Where does it put a period? I wonder, AI is going to have to work on that. Does he have a little more skeptical, hesitant attitude towards things sometimes? Is he more likely the one to say Murphy's law, it's probably not going to work out type of thing.

Yeah, I would say he's a, I'm, I'm more of an optimist. I wouldn't say he's a pessimist, but maybe he's a, he's a realist or a little more like, what, want, one, more pragmatic about something sometimes. Yeah, yeah. That was the, well, you can see by the questions I asked that. I'm like, that's kind of the impression I got from, okay, what am I seeing here? He's the one who's probably going to tell you, it's probably empty, you know, before you even look and you're a little more of the optimist and and what you're showing yourself was

that your optimism because not only was it there it was actually was it was a rewarding experience to get that as well um that may be part of it too like why show yourself that in the broader context of having a healthier relationship with the with masculine and needing him to embody that maybe may what are the two possibilities you're looking at that as that as that That's his role, and I can just let him be the way he is and pursue my optimism regardless. It also might be an opportunity to reflect on whether he should lean a little more towards you. Not surrendering his skepticism, but being maybe a little more vocally optimistic, even if he isn't so sure. Having a little, you don't want him to be fake.

That isn't it. That isn't it? It's more like, uh, if he doesn't have to say something. something pessimistic, then just don't. Some along those lines. Like, if you, you know, is there a purpose to warning? It's like, hey, don't take that risk. That's a fantastic, useful pessimism.

I think that's dangerous. Don't do that. The other side of it is, did you really need to say that? Let's just go look. Maybe you're recognizing some of his, maybe he could change a little bit too. Maybe you want him to. Maybe you don't. I'm just looking at, go ahead.

The other thing that I was thinking of when I woke up from the dream, is that maybe when he looked in it, it was empty, but when I looked in it, it was full. Oh, there is that, yeah. I filled up my cup and no one else took any. Interesting. Yeah, that's, I didn't think of that at all. I didn't even think to ask that.

That's fantastic, yeah. And that may be just, just a clear, a lot of times what we're doing in dreams, we ask ourselves questions or we review facts. And we, it's one of, we owe Freud a lot of credit and he was right about a ton of stuff and he was wrong about a lot of things. And one of them was dreams always being a secret

wish. Sometimes they're just an objective analysis. What is this thing? What does it look like? What does it look like to me right now? And we can't even say for sure that what it looks like to us now is really what it is, but at least we can be honest and say that's what I think it is. That's what it looks like to me. And sometimes it does involve a wish. We're hoping to have good things come to us and keep bad things away. Of course, we're human. That's so many, many dreams involve wishes, but a lot of them are just objective review analysis of facts to gut check with ourselves. How do I feel about this? So that could have been it as well. So naturally, he, the pessimist

wouldn't even look and the optimist would at least check. I have enough hope that it will be a rewarding experience that it's worth checking. Might, might be as, you know, and then, yeah, I don't want to leave you at the impression that you think he should change anything. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. That's for you to decide. But I wanted to throw that in there as one of many possibilities that,

you know, maybe he's, maybe that's the perfect counterbalance. I am definitely the same way. I'm a little more of the, wow, that's weird too. It's, it's weird. My wife and I, I'm a little more of the skeptical,

pragmatic type of type of person. But then again, so we've got these different, it's just complete tangent, but I like to stay home and she likes to get out and walk around once in a while and go see people. Not my thing. I don't want to go with her. And she doesn't want me to go anywhere.

I don't want to be. And she isn't, you know, like, oh, God, we never go anywhere. And she's like, I'm going. I'm like, well, just don't go out after dark. That's all I ask. Just please go during the daylight hour. See anyone you want. And she's like, I'll be fine.

I'm like, you're going to get hurt and I'm going to feel sad and I can't stop you. But I hope I'm wrong. You know, I don't want to be right about that kind of prediction. But, yeah, so she's a little more. optimistic. And so far she's been right. So let's hope that keeps up. She hasn't been hurt yet by anyone in the dark of night roaming around the streets of Portland. Jesus. I think I think that brings us to the end of that sequence. Wow. We got a lot of stuff out of that. That was great. Oh, yeah. Thank you very much. Do you have any additional

questions? Anything we glossed over? You're like, what about this or anything I was a little too vague on? You're like, what did you mean by that? I was curious of what? you is the symbolism of apple. Oh, yeah. Why? Why particularly? Apple. And it was like apple and cotton candy?

No, it was kind of like it was like sour like green apple and ice cream. So it kind of like green right. What comes to mind with that? The first thing that came to my mind, and this is probably my own association, but it was carnival like, like candy apple in a way.

But it's sour green apple and ice cream. You don't have any connections with those two objects. Nothing comes to mind. No. I mean, in my dream, in my dream of my dream, like in the morning waking up, I felt like those two colors, the white green and the white, were almost like money. I don't know.

That's the only thing I could think of. Sure. And money could just represent profit. And you can profit in a lot of different ways from an experience. Yes. Better understanding, better relationships, et cetera. Some of that. Almost like there's a reward, not that it has to be financial, but yeah, there's a reward for this.

As the arc that you showed me, it's like there's a reward for creating these new patterns and finding new perspective and being in a more masculine space in my relationship with my daughter and being creative about it. And yeah, that just sounds really good. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's probably one of those elements where it's enough of a mystery that'll keep you thinking about it for a little while longer. And I bet if you meditate on, you know, green apples, what? And then white ice cream, like a vanilla. The first one of the, well, one of the first things also it made me think of was the idea of those cream sodas. But those are usually like orange orange cream.

Or do they have like a sour apple cream soda? I haven't, but maybe they should. Yeah. That sounds like it might. Anyway, yeah, that was my only question. Fair enough. No, I wish I had a better answer for that one. That's a great, mysterious component.

Some of these things I lied over just a little bit, like, I don't know what that means, and I'm not sure it's really important. It's like, what are the broad strokes? And I think after I've been doing this for a few years, like I used to really hone in on a lot of the specifics and try and see it as clearly as I could, like I was looking through your eyes. And I've kind of stepped back from that a little bit and left it a little more loose. And it seems to we get a better, we get to a better story arc more quickly. Yeah.

So probably what would have taken me three hours last time. We got it done an hour and a half this time. Totally. No, I really appreciate it. It was super helpful. Very cool. I'm glad it was useful. That's always what I'm trying to do and hopefully enjoyable and entertaining for all involved.

The folks out there listening to. Hopefully you forgot we were being listened to as well. Yes, I did. I actually forgot. Right. This could just be any other internet chat with some random, random crazy person. And I say that a lot, too, with, you know, with love. because there's crazy people are not the mentally ill those are two different things that's in my

estimation so yeah exactly um all right well if you feel satisfied with we've got everything we can for the for the moment now i will do the uh the wrapping and up and we'll get you uh out of here you got to put on thank you so much oh yeah you're welcome uh got to put on the radio announcer voice sort sort of i try not to do that uh um so okay once again this has been our friend uh violet out of Boulder, Colorado. She is an engineer, an MBA, and now happily married mother of two who met her husband in a dream.

We talked about that. It's a fantastic story. But only after surviving complex trauma and rewiring her attachment style by integrating head, heart, and body and using spiritual techniques to date differently. And now she teaches other women to do the same. You can find her at violet lang.com.

For my part, would you kindly like, share, and subscribe, tell your friends to reach out and watch the show and share their dreams with me. I'd love to hear from you. I do video game streams most days, Monday through Friday, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Pacific. You can find, oh, no, the book. I got the book up here. It's this book. Whatever this book is. I can't remember. I've got like 17 of them, and I forget. I just forgot to do it before. I've been so out of practice. I haven't had a dream interview in like two or three weeks, so that's, that's okay. You can get that, whatever that book is at Benjamin the Dream Wizard.com. Just click on the books tab, scroll down,

all kinds of neat stuff there if you just want to go check it out and browse around interviews I've done with other people there's an encyclopedia footnotes I'm trying to put together from the books all those kind of things uh last but not least had on over to benjamin the dream wizard dot locals dot com building a community there free to join attached to my rumble account that is enough out of me uh violet thank you for being here I appreciate your time thank you so much this is awesome yeah I really enjoyed it too I love these I I always uh I put myself out there and the risk of failure just the idea of I might have absolutely nothing to give in like a miracle.

I got something blows me away every time. So, okay, last thing to say is everybody out there. Thank you for watching. And we hope to see you next time.