Drink Champs - #Throwback Episode - w/ Mike Epps | (Ep. 58)
Episode Date: December 18, 2024N.O.R.E. & DJ EFN are the Drink Champs. In this classic throwback episode we chop it up with the legendary, Mike Epps! Mike Epps rolls through, to talk about his journey from comedy clubs to the b...ig screen. He keeps it raw, talking about stepping into Next Friday after Chris Tucker, navigating fame, and repping for the culture. With bars of wisdom and jokes that hit like a punchline, Mike drops game on staying relevant, showing love to the legends, and keeping his roots strong. It’s comedy meets hip-hop energy as they toast to success, grind, and legacy. Straight vibes, real talk, and classic laughs – this one’s a movie Make some noise for Mike Epps!! 💐💐💐🏆🏆🏆 *This episode was originally released on January 26, 2017* *Subscribe to Patreon NOW for exclusive content, discount codes, M&G’s + more: 🏆* https://www.patreon.com/drinkchamps *Listen and subscribe at https://www.drinkchamps.com Follow Drink Champs: https://www.instagram.com/drinkchamps https://www.twitter.com/drinkchamps https://www.facebook.com/drinkchamps https://www.youtube.com/drinkchamps DJ EFN https://www.crazyhood.com https://www.instagram.com/whoscrazy https://www.twitter.com/djefn https://www.facebook.com/crazyhoodproductions N.O.R.E. https://www.instagram.com/therealnoreaga https://www.twitter.com/noreagaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Why is a soap opera Western like Yellowstone so wildly successful?
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Listen to Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. a legendary Queens rapper. Hey, hey, it's your boy N.O.R.E. He's a Miami hip-hop pioneer.
One of his DJ EFN.
Together, they drink it up with some of the biggest players
in the most professional,
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and your number one source for drunk facts.
It's Drink Champs motherfucking podcast
where every day is New Year's Eve.
It's time for Drink Champs.
Drink up, motherfucker.
Hey, Hank Segri, I hope you're savvy.
This is your boy N-O-R-E.
What up, it's DJ E-F-N.
And this is Drink Champs' motherfucking podcast.
Make some noise!
And right now, I would like to introduce my guest.
We have one of the most funniest people on the planet.
I went to his show yesterday.
He not only tore it down, he brought the other comedians at the end to rank on each other.
He got in on the Soulja Boy and the Chris Brown.
I almost threw up the way he ran in on it.
He has done countless movies.
One of my favorite is 45, 47.
He has started out with one of the hardest roles ever
by replacing Chris Tucker, a.k.a.
Smokey. And I remember
people in the movie theater just looking and saying,
can this guy hold it down?
And people left that movie theater and looking and saying, can this guy hold it down? And people left that movie theater, and they were satisfied.
And he kept going to top flight security in the world, man.
He continues to do it.
He continues to stay funny.
He's my friend.
Right now, I want to introduce the legendary Mike Epsi.
Mike Epsi!
First off, let's get to that dance. What is that dance?
You know what, I did that originally in your video in 2000, what was that?
I don't know. I think it was 2001.
2001, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. And that was called Patchy Weave, because I see a lot of girls in the club patting their knees.
I hate that shit, man.
You want to drink some rosé first?
Yeah, man.
Isn't that cold rosé?
And we got dulce for you
and we got Old English.
It look like y'all got everything.
We got everything.
We also got,
this is the upgraded tequila.
Damn.
This is Deleon.
We heard you ordered Patron,
but this is Deleon.
And they sponsoring.
My AA classes are going down.
Is there a cold rosé or no?
It's all good.
Whatever y'all got.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We're going to pop a rosé.
We're going to hit some duce.
Pop one of these motherfuckers.
Oh, you're going to hit all of these for real?
Yeah.
Hit all of these for real.
You a big guy.
I ain't doing this.
You a big guy.
Yo, we drink those at Cheeseburger, baby.
We got to shout out Best Buy Liquors, man.
Shout out to Best Buy Liquors for providing the liquor at the beer.
Best Buy Liquors.
Bestbuyliquors.com.
Yeah, shout out where they at.
They got five locations.
Two in Kendall, one in Naranja, one in Florida City.
Best Buy Liquors.
Also, shout out to Jim Beam.
Shout out to Jimmy Beam.
Yeah.
I just seen that nigga at the club last night.
Now, one thing I noticed about comedy shows,
it is nothing like hip-hop.
Meaning, people will come to hip-hop,
you know, dressed as whatever.
People will come to hip-hop
with the intent of doing something stupid.
Last night, I walked in
and I was so safe.
It was so clean.
At first, I said,
damn, this ain't nothing like hip-hop.
Then you said, let's go smoke, nigga.
And I said, okay, let's do hip-hop.
But describe the comedy
scene because it's a very
safe environment. People come there to laugh.
Well, you know, that's the thing.
You know, comedy and hip-hop, I mean,
I think comedy is a cousin of hip-hop.
I believe so. But it's kind of the square
cousin of hip-hop. You know how you got a
cousin in the family that really don't
get into too much? But he is in the family. But he is in the family, yes. You know how you got a cousin in the family that really don't get into too much? But he is
in the family.
Because you got comments like
Cat Williams and myself
and many others. We did have some
brushes with the law.
Cat Williams been having problems lately.
Yeah, yeah. You ranked on him
the other day too.
He the DMX of comedy.
Let's make some noise for Cat Williams.
Is that accurate? Am I accurate? He's staying in jail. Yeah, he's staying in jail. He the DMX of comedy. He is. He is the DMX. Let's make some noise for Cat Williams. Yeah, man.
The comedy.
Is that accurate?
Am I accurate?
Yeah, yeah.
Good, good.
Cat Williams is definitely the, but I got love for Cat, you know what I'm saying?
And a lot of other comics out here, man. But like you said, the comedy game is a real smooth game.
Everybody coming there to laugh, you know what I mean?
It ain't like hip-hop where everybody going in there trying to show who's tough.
Exactly.
Like, you know, when I go out with my wife, I'm very protective.
You know what I'm saying?
But last night, is that cold, Mr. Lee?
Yeah.
I can't.
I mean, you don't know how to pop shit.
Give me that.
Give me that.
Come on, Mr. Lee.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm protective.
Dominican, man.
How the fuck do you understand that?
Dominican, Chinese. Yeah, Dominican, Chinese. That's what's up, man. I don't understand that. This nigga Dominican, Chinese.
Dominican, Chinese.
That's what's up, man. We got Mike Epson.
Let's make some noise.
Trick champions.
So, yo, man, you really came up there and you tore that shit down.
You still love doing what you're doing.
I do.
You know what I'm saying?
I've been doing stand-up comedy for 20-some years now. You know what I'm saying? I've been doing stand-up comedy for 20-some years now.
You know what I'm saying?
And I really love it.
And comedy, to me,
is like my real bitch.
You know how you got
people to say
they got a bottom bitch?
Comedy is my bottom bitch.
Oh, I got to do you right.
You know what I'm saying?
Let me show you
how we do it.
How y'all doing?
It's called Piscine.
The Piscine.
I'm going to do it in France.
Damn!
You know what I'm saying?
In France, in your mind. No, in France. That's my wife. But they don't's called Piscine. The Piscine. I'm not doing it in France. Damn. You know what I'm saying? In France in your mind.
No, in France.
That's my wife.
But they don't call it Piscine in France.
No, they don't call it Piscine.
I call it Piscine.
That's how the police shoot they cunts.
Nah, but comedy is like, you know, stand-up comedy is one of the things, man.
You can't fuck around.
Cheers, man.
You know what I'm saying?
Cheers.
Cheers to Mike. You can't fuck around Cheers Cheers to Mike
You can't fuck around
And leave comedy
For even a second
Or the bitch will be gone
You know what I mean
That's one of them things
If I stop doing comedy
For a month
And I come back
And do comedy
Man my time
Would be off like a motherfucker
So is it important
Because at the end of the day Mike
You're so huge
You can just live off of movies Your residuals off of movies Why is it important For Because at the end of the day, Mike, you're so huge. You can just live off of movies.
Your residuals off of movies.
Why is it important for you to still stay in front of, and you sold out.
An audience.
Yo, that audience was huge.
Where were y'all at?
What club was it?
This was James Earl Myson.
James Earl Myson.
That's where the Sauce Awards was.
That's a big venue.
You know what I'm saying?
But see, you know know that's the thing. Even for hip-hop,
no matter what you guys go out there
and do, business
ventures, money ventures, you still
like to rock the stage
because it gives you your edge. You get to still
stand in front of people.
In front of real live
motherfuckers, man.
When you get an opportunity
in the industry to do whatever you're you bringing the edge to it right you know
I'm saying you can't leave the people yeah now where's Mike Epps originally
from Indianapolis right yeah you fuck with the Colts and shit like that the
Colts the Pacers and few niggas out there okay so now take us through this
so TK Kirkland came on here he said that he told you, convinced you to move to New York.
Right.
And is that where your comedy started or no?
Well, I started doing comedy originally in Chicago.
Damn.
I used to go to.
You was getting shot?
You was getting shot?
They were shooting at you while you were doing comedy?
No, no.
You know what I'm saying?
I originally started in Chicago, And I went to Atlanta,
started performing for about a year.
Then I moved to New York.
And I lived in New York for 10 years, man.
I lived, and you know,
when you ain't got no money
and you move to New York.
You moved to the real New York.
Yeah, you moved to the real New York
and you live in every borough.
That you can afford at the time.
I was jumping from every borough.
The first city I moved to, I
stayed in Manhattan, you know, for
a minute. I stayed uptown.
And then I moved to Long Island City.
Queens. Yeah, Queens. And then I
went from Long Island City to Flatbush.
I lived on Sterling and Flatbush.
You turned Jamaican.
You turned Jamaican.
So, you know, New York is
definitely, I have to show all He did a tour of New York. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, New York is definitely, I have
to show all the
love and gratitude
to New York because
it's like a boot
camp for any
entertainer.
That's very true.
If you can make
it there, you can
make it there.
That's right.
And I tell people
all the time, man,
if you want to go
to Hollywood, go to
New York first because
it's going to give
you that.
So, this movie happens.
It's a movie.
It's a cult movie in our culture.
Titled Friday.
Okay.
You hear that.
Did you hear that it was a role?
How did you?
Because I heard Ice Cube discovered you at a club.
Right.
But how did you get?
How did you even know that that role was up?
I had a guy, one of my producing partners named Niles Kirshner.
He sound rich.
Yeah, he's a black Jew.
Niles Kirshner.
Kirshner, yeah.
Google him.
Google him.
You know what I'm saying?
And all kind of Jews going to pop up.
Wait, wait, you said Jews?
All kinds of Jews.
Not your jewels, but Jews.
Mazel tov.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, he had a friend that he was a roommate with a guy in college who really runs Ice Cube's Cube Vision.
His name is Matt Alvarez.
They said, man, we got a comic, man, that's really, really good, you know.
Let's do an audition with him, man.
And they had a line of our dishes up at the Comedy Store
And um, I did audition I said Hollywood right?
Yeah, Ice Cube walked up to me man say that man. Can you act as a yeah? I didn't know
And we went through the whole
Auditioning process man, and it lasted for about a month because he was trying to find that next Smokey.
Right.
And, man, I was auditioning with about 150 comedians out there in LA.
Did you think he was still trying to get Chris Tucker as well?
Was that a scare for you or that was just like?
No, I mean, I didn't have shit, so I didn't care what was going on.
You know what I mean?
I didn't, you know, I was like, shit, it's all for nothing right here.
So you're saying when he first approached you, it was
for the day they roll. It wasn't like it was just like
a replacement. Chris Tucker had already
turned the road down. You know what I'm saying?
Ice Cube was mad to the motherfucker.
Ice Cube was like, man, fuck Chris Tucker.
You know. I know, you was like,
good looking, Chris Tucker.
I'm glad your ass didn't do that shit.
Yeah, yeah.
So I auditioned for it, man, and I got the role, man.
And I'll never forget.
I swear I'll never forget the day that I got the role.
And I walked on the set, man.
I was all happy and nice and shit.
And there wasn't nobody saying shit.
They was all quiet.
And I did my first role.
I mean, did my first scene.
And when the first scene was over and they said
cut I didn't hear no
laughs and John Witherspoon was sitting
over in the corner looking at me like
you want to say bang bang bang
my mother was sitting there looking at me like this
I said oh shit I went and told Q
man they ain't laughing he said it ain't time to be funny yet
man by the time it was time to be funny,
I came out there and said, man, this bitch done sprayed my car.
You sprayed the pimp.
You sprayed the player.
I was on the ground with my eyes fucked up.
I was on the pop, and I was funny in the movie.
And they were tens, but you kept them clean.
I kept the motherfuckers clean.
You kept the motherfuckers clean.
I don't give a fuck what size rail you got.
Keep the bitches clean.
So I just want you to know that For the hood
Like that was a cult movie
So people really didn't want to accept
Nobody else for that role
They didn't
Especially for that time
Cause Chris Tucker tore that shit up
Yeah he tore it up
I mean and people still think to this day
The first one was better than the second one
Than the third one
But you know what
It was a cult movie
I believe that the first one Pardon me for cutting you off i believe the first one led to the second one i
believe it did yeah i believe there's a foundation to it yeah but um but can i continue what you're
saying no that's real that's real the first one was a foundation to it and um but the second one
and third one i mean like i said there's kids that didn't really see the first one like that
and didn't understand it they really liked the first one like that and didn't understand it.
They really liked the first one and the second better.
I mean, the second and the third better.
So it's different people for different movies.
Now, I just was watching.
What the fuck movie were you just watching?
And I never watched it in Hancock.
Hancock, yeah.
You were even at the end of Hancock.
They put me at the end of Hancock.
Like, I watched Hancock 17 times. I never knew end of Hancock. Like, I watched Hancock 17 times.
I never knew you was in there.
Yeah, I watched it today.
What did I say, babe?
For some reason, I said,
let me watch the end
of this shit,
because I'll never know
what happened at the end.
I never knew if he died
or not.
Nobody never knew
I was in the movie.
That shit came on
after the credits,
whatever.
It did, it did.
After the credits, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I've been at, you know,
I had a chance to work with a lot of
great actors, a lot of big players
in the business. You know, Will Smith
and Whitney Houston
and Bernie Mac.
I've been blessed to work with these
great comics, man,
and great artists. Now, Bernie Mac, I'm going to be honest
with you. You know what the most classic
scene with you and Bernie Mac was when,
I forget, I think it was Soul Man.
And he said to you, he said,
he said, fuck the kids.
Fuck the kids?
Yo, my man, I say that to this day.
I'm like, fuck the kids.
Fuck the kids, man.
My wife be looking at me.
Fuck the kids.
For real.
Yo, you have done so many Countless classics
So now
Let's try to stay in Friday
For a moment
Yeah
So
You
Did you understand
How hard
That was going to be
Fulfilling those shoes
Oh hell yeah
Or you just was like
Yo I'm a funny guy
And I'm a rocket
No I understood
You understood it
Yeah I understood
How hard it was
Because Chris Tucker
At the time
He was that nigga Man He was going to be Eddie Murphy He was going to be The new Eddie Murphy how hard it was because Chris Tucker at the time man, when I tell you
that nigga was
hilarious and funny
and wild and real and everybody
loved him and he had that voice and
I mean, I'm like, damn man, I don't know
what I'm going to do. I know one thing I'm not
going to do. I'm not going to come in there and try to
be him. You know what I'm saying?
So whatever I do, I'm going to be do. I'm not going to come in there and try to be him. You know what I'm saying? So whatever I do,
I'm going to be me.
I had a character by the name of Day Day.
Let's make some noise for Day Day.
At some point in this interview,
I'm going to call you Day Day.
Don't worry about it.
I don't give a fuck.
Who did you model Day Day after?
I had a cousin named Brian.
That's who Day Day is?
Yeah.
Cry baby, wild ass.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Getting in the shit at nigga all the time.
And now, I've seen Michael Blacksman was also in the movie.
Michael Blacksman was in the movie.
We had him on the show last night.
Hey, exactly.
Was that your first time working with him then?
No, me and Michael Blackson started comedy together.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, and all this time, I thought this nigga...
He had a curtain last night.
Yeah, I thought this nigga was African.
This nigga's from Philly.
That nigga ain't African?
That nigga ain't African, man.
That nigga from Meek Mill Block?
Yeah.
Get the fuck out of here.
All this time, that nigga, you mother's...
I get around this nigga's mother.
This nigga's talking about,
Mama, you want me to take the track?
I said, what the fuck?
This nigga's a real nigga from Philly.
Yeah, let's make some noise for Michael Jackson.
The shield on everybody's shoulders.
And we're going to also take a shot of Tiger Bone.
We're going to introduce you to that.
What's that?
This is our sponsor.
It's the star of the show.
It's the star of the show.
It's called Don't Smell It.
And with the shot glasses.
And yo, tell people back here, my man, please keep it down, my nigga.
I'm watching you.
Oh, man.
Illegal in seven countries.
That shit is like soy sauce.
Yes, it is.
Oh, he's on point.
He is on point.
I ain't gonna front.
This is when your hat gonna come off, your glasses gonna come off.
But it's a good deal.
Damn.
It's a good deal.
We're gonna get into it later.
Can we get the shot glasses?
Yeah, let's get the shot glasses.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, where's my man?
You came with, it's another comedian
that you brung with you.
Henry Wells.
Where's Henry Wells at?
Henry Wells.
Where's Henry at?
We ain't got another mic?
Oh, okay.
He'll be right back.
He's going to take a shit.
Yeah.
He look like he had to take a shit.
No, that nigga
didn't roll off in his neighborhood.
He out there looking
for that lean somewhere.
That old nigga
fucking with lean?
No, I'm just kidding.
That's great.
He said,
that old nigga
fucking with lean?
Okay, now,
at one point in your show,
you talked about
Chris Brown
and Soulja Boy.
Right.
I also looked at
your Instagram.
Yeah.
You posted a thing
of Soulja Boy and...
Talking about how
he was shouting
at the niggas.
No, I seen that as well.
But I will get to that.
But the pookie.
Yeah.
The pookie.
Who you think going to win this fight, Mike?
You know what I'm saying?
I think Chris Brown.
The only reason why I say Chris Brown
is because Chris Brown can play ball.
One of them niggas that ride
motorcycles, that play ball, that know how
to do everything, he's going to kick your ass.
Yeah, he's going to kick your ass.
So you're betting on Chris Brown?
Yeah, I think Chris Brown.
Who are you betting on, EFN?
I think Chris Brown.
Chris Brown?
Yeah.
He just got more weight on him.
Yeah, Chris Brown, bro.
Yeah, somebody got to vote for Soldier Boy now.
You taking Soldier Boy?
Eric?
Yeah, you going to run it out?
Eric DeRuyt is taking Soldier Boy.
They got a date for this official?
I don't know, but I'm going.
Wherever it's at, I'm going.
Yeah.
I'm going to support.
Yeah. I mean, if they don't win, but I'm going. Wherever it's at, I'm going. Yeah. I'm going to support. Yeah.
I mean,
if they don't win,
it's going to be a scratch off.
Somebody's going to get
scratched in there.
We got to check
both them niggas' nails.
One of them dancing,
the other nigga
do kid raps.
They hanging with
all them gang members
that ain't shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They got a stylist. They hanging with the gang. members that ain't shit.
That's the thing about these niggas in the rap business.
They be hanging with the niggas that ain't shit in the city.
The point of it is to get rich and get away from that shit.
Take your niggas away from that shit.
You see what I'm saying?
It's going backwards.
You know what I'm saying?
Because a nigga in the streets, he ain't trying to get in no trouble.
You know, you're going to have to do that shit when you're a kid.
And then when you get grown, it's over with.
You can't get rich and live in a mansion and then decide you want to be a tough motherfucker. You want to shoot a nigga now?
Yeah, ain't that a bitch?
Yeah, you're supposed to shoot a nigga when you're 14.
14, that's right.
That's reverse gangster right there.
You know what I'm saying?
You want to shoot a nigga at 34.
Yeah.
And you got a name for yourself, bozo
And you have to fuck everything
24 or whatever
This shit is crazy, Mike Epps
But now, now
Mike Epps, you was at one point
I think you was doing an album
Yeah, comedy album
With Scott Storch
Yeah
I thought I seen you one day a little bit high
Is that true?
A little bit
Man, I done been high With Scott Storch, you gotta be a lot of bitch It was a little bit high. Is that true? A little bit.
Man, I done been high. With Scott Starks, you gotta be a lot of it.
It was a little crazy.
Let me tell you something, man.
I'm one of them real artists, you know what I'm saying?
I done did a little bit of everything on the drug side.
You know?
Tiger.
Right there.
Go ahead.
Because, you know, I think, honestly Honestly I think a lot of artists
Like some of your
Greatest artists
If they wasn't high
You wouldn't have got
You wouldn't have got
The best out of them
Fuck it
Jimi Hendrix put acid
On his eyes
Yeah
He let the shit melt
Richard Pryor
Yeah Richard Pryor
All of them
Yeah but I'm one of
Them real niggas
I know how to
Go and get down
A little bit
And leave it alone
Cause when you
When you're a person
That a cult nigga
When you be doing Your hands Oh coke nigga, when you be doing
your hands, how you be doing
that shit?
Yeah, all kinds of shit.
That's what the whole thing is.
The whole thing is to let you know he got something.
He's like, hey man,
I got all that shit over there.
You know what I'm saying? But I'm a pro, man.
You know what I'm saying?
I ain't never late to work.
Wait, wait, wait.
What kind of shot are you doing?
No, no, you're off-shot duty, son.
This is Tiger Bone.
You don't pour that much of Tiger Bone.
God damn, player.
You're going to sit there and shoot a gun?
Yo, yo, yo.
Give me somebody.
Pour some out right here.
Yeah, yeah, pour some out.
The little short dude on the.
Pour a little tiger out for some homies.
Yeah, yeah, this is for the dead homies.
It's fucking Zayn.
We ain't trying to kill Mike now.
Come on.
We're trying to get Mike loose.
We ain't trying to kill him.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
This nigga did my video.
He my family.
Okay, we got to show you how to do it.
Do you be drinking and shit?
Yeah, I'm drinking and shit.
Ah-da-ah-da.
Ah-da-ah-da. No, no, no. Ah-da-ah-da. What's that mean? Yeah, I'm drinking this shit. Ara, ara. Ara, ara, yeah.
No, no, no.
Ara, ara, ara.
What's that mean?
Ara, ara, ara.
Ready?
Salud.
Damn.
No, no, no.
Don't do that to us.
Don't do that to us.
We watching you.
Now you gotta say, makahaya bing bong.
Oh, man.
That's good.
Damn. Damn
You know what
Describe that
This shit taste like iodine
Nigga did I just drink some iodine
We gonna die together, Mike.
That should be a good one.
Man, I swear to God.
This shit tastes bad in the mother.
We had Rick Ross tape.
Rick Ross wouldn't let us go three, right?
Nah, he was not having it.
I ain't having it.
Shit, Rick Ross getting Ross too.
But you know who, damn near a whole bottle style speed.
You know it's actually herbs.
It is.
It's actually herbs.
That's what it tastes like.
There's a lot of ginger in there.
Yeah, it tastes like one of them motherfucking Chinese herbs.
Get your life right.
It's not like a Viagra, like you'll be walking around with the hard shit, but if you happen to play the game, you'll be ready.
You know what I'm saying?
My mama always told me, you watch them New York niggas, they too fast.
They got some new shit you ain't got yet.
Yeah, we very fast.
We very fast.
So, Mike, you do, so All About the Benjamins came in between after Next Friday, correct? Yeah, All About the Benjamins was a film that was mine
that I took to Ice Cube.
What? That was your film?
Yeah, that was...
That was here in Miami, right?
Yeah, that was shot here in Miami.
I took it to Cube.
We shot it under Cube Vision.
I produced it, man.
We hired...
Went through a rigorous casting.
When you say it's your film,
you mean that was your idea?
You wrote it?
My script.
It was my script. I took it to Cube. Wow, I never heard that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, well, it's in film, you mean that was your idea? You wrote it? My script. It was my script.
I took it to Q.
Wow, I never heard that.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, well, it's in the credits.
Right.
You might not hear this shit, but it's in the credits.
Right.
If you look at the TV thing and the credits going down,
that motherfucker say, Mike gave it to him.
I ain't going to say that.
Mike gave the script to Q.
No, but yeah, All About the Benjamin was shot here in Miami, man. Mike gave the script to Q No But Yeah
All About the Benjamin
Was shot here in Miami
Man
And
That was
To me
I think that was my best film
I ever did
I love that
I mean that is my favorite
You know what I mean
That was my
I can't say it's my favorite
Mike Epps film
It discovered
Oh girl
Eva Mendes
Yeah
Eva Mendes
That was her break
That was her break
Wow
And I remember them Auditioning a whole lot of people.
They auditioned Lil' Kim.
For that role?
For that role, yep.
They auditioned Lil' Kim.
I couldn't imagine that.
Nah, I couldn't.
When you lost your wallet, she was like, she grabbed you by your head.
She was like, Rendeo!
I said, oh my God, that's a Latina.
She's Cuban.
I think she's Cuban.
She's Cuban like a motherfucker.
She's Cuban, man.
She's Cuban, man. But yeah, y'all's Cuban like a motherfucker. She's Cuban, man. She's Cuban, man.
But yeah, y'all.
She was a great actress in that movie, man.
So you was a part of the casting and all that for this?
Oh, yeah, man.
Wow.
I get really, you know, and I mean, a lot of films that I do, man, I'm just not one
of them artists that wear it on my sleeves.
But, you know, my production company has produced a whole lot of different films in the business,
including Meet the Blacks. That's been my latest. Yes. The films in the business, including Meet the Blacks.
That's been my latest movie.
Yes, I fuck with Meet the Blacks.
Mike Tyson is off the chain.
Yeah, that nigga's crazy.
And you're in the Resident Evil films, right?
Yeah, Resident Evil.
This nigga's in everything.
I like those films.
Yeah, I did a lot of movies.
I did a lot.
I got a big catalog.
Survivors of Morse.
That's about LeBron, right?
The basketball joint.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's on Showtime.
You're everywhere, my man.
Yeah, they kill me on that show.
I asked for some more money.
But you killed the dog.
I seen that.
What did you do?
You sprayed some foul shit, and the dog went and smelled it, and he died.
And then you went and helped everybody investigate.
Because the white boy had the dog shitting in my yard.
Right, right.
You know what I'm saying?
The next door neighbor, the white boy got the dog. He walked the dog and walked past my yard. Right, right. You know what I'm saying? Next door neighbor, white boy got a dog.
He walked the dog
and walk he past
everybody's house
and get to my house
and let the motherfucker
shit in the yard.
So I said, okay,
you won't be shitting
in here again.
Right, and you killed him.
I'm going to send you
to doggy heaven.
He said,
let's make some noise
for Mike Epps
being like Mike Vick.
Let's make some noise.
God damn it.
Some niggas are looking like,
damn, I'm not sure.
It's a movie, so I think it's not a dog movie.
Don't come down, Peter.
So now...
What's wrong with this motherfucker?
Yeah, yeah, we fucked up. You on tour
right now. Let's big up this tour that you're on.
Yeah, this tour right here is crazy.
This is a tour that is just
like the last tour.
You know what I'm saying?
Are Rock Nation's a part of this?
No, no, no.
No, Rock Nation is part of this.
You know what I'm saying?
This is what I do.
This is the Mike Epps Festival of Laughs.
Now I go around the country and I just use all of these comics that we all know and love
and just put them on the show.
Like last night,
we had Arnaz J,
you know, Bruce Bruce.
Bruce Bruce was there?
Jay Pharoah.
I seen Jay Pharoah.
You know what I mean?
So we,
I use all of them.
I got Arsenio Hall
opening up on one of these shows
coming up.
You know,
so I've just been grabbing
all the comics
and putting them together
and putting them on these big shows
called Festival of Laughs.
Did you get Michael Blacksman dressed yesterday?
Because he had curtains on.
I don't know what the fuck that nigga had on, man.
He seen his shoes, though?
His shoes are messed.
But his shirt was Versace.
You got to respect him.
That nigga had on a suit that when I used to eat now and later, they had a special now
and later called a mystery mix.
That motherfucker was yellow and purple. I said, this nigga look like a mystery mix. That motherfucker was yellow and purple.
I said,
this nigga look like a mystery mix right now.
Henry killed him when he said,
nigga, you look like Kodak Black's real daddy.
Now, last night,
you also acknowledged the Miami hip-hop scene,
which I thought was dope.
Yeah.
You gave love to Uncle Luke, who was actually in the crowd.
Uncle Luke.
You gave love to Trick Daddy.
Yeah. You gave love to Pork and Bean Projects.
Yes, sir.
You gave love to Trina and all that.
Now, is that, when you go to each state, you have to know about the hood, or that's just
who you were?
Well, you know, when you travel, and you know this, Norris.
Of course. about the hood or that's just who you were? Well you know when you travel and you know this, when you've been doing, when you travel
and you're an artist, man, you go to really,
you really live in these towns.
Exactly.
Because you there all the time.
And as you learn, as you go live in these towns,
you learn who's who and what's what.
The lay of the land.
Yeah, and they become family to you,
you know what I'm saying?
You ready for another one?
Yeah.
I've been coming to Miami for years, man.
I mean, ever since, I mean, Luke Skywalker and them started, man.
I've been loving 2 Live Crew and all that.
It's a pack jam and shit?
Yeah.
You know, I know about the old artists, the Shadis and the Mena and all that.
Poison Clan.
Poison Clan.
Yeah, look at him.
His beard is standing up.
He love Miami.
He love Miami Slang.
Yeah.
Mm.
We got Mike Epps getting loose over the Tiger Bone, god damn it.
I feel you can do that dance after you do that dance.
I can do that dance.
I can do that dance.
Now, Mike, I don't know if you know, brother,
but I was so excited to have you in my video.
Like, I did whatever I had.
You know, we wasn't supposed to film the video in L.A.
We shot it in L.A.
But we shot it because I wanted to shoot it in Puerto Rico.
And this is nothing for people listening.
This is nothing.
This is nothing for everybody because everybody called it Homeboy.
Homeboy.
I came to party.
But I wanted you in my video.
Was that one of your biggest hits?
That was one of my biggest hits.
Yes, it was.
What was your biggest hit? No, that one of your biggest hits? That was one of my biggest hits, yes it was. What was your biggest hit?
No, that one was your biggest hit.
It depends, because Oyamikondo hit the most
countries ever. I had a Spanish record.
Boricua, Morena.
You know, I'm half Puerto Rican and shit.
But all my friends is Dominican, it's fucked up.
Look at that, my barber's Dominican.
But you're more a nigga than any of them.
I'm a nigga, though.
I'm a nigga.
You all ain't niggas.
I got niggardom in me.
It's all niggardom.
And then you get Puerto Rican in the eyebrows.
But then I get Puerto Rican in the eyebrows.
The only good hair that's on your eyebrows.
The rest of your hair nappy as well.
I got good hair, hold on.
This man right here is a nigga right here.
Hold on, hold on. I got good hair, hold on. You can see my son good hair. Hold on. This man right here is lit right here. Hold on.
I got good hair.
Hold on.
You can see my son's shit.
My son's shit.
Look, you can tell he's getting lit.
We always know from the push of the table, how far you push the table, the guest is lit.
But, Mike, man, let me tell you something.
This show is about praising our legends.
Because in our business, I would like to ask you how it is in comedy,
but after you get five to ten years in this business,
whether you're successful or not,
people want to call you the old person.
People want to kick you out.
And we don't want to do that here.
Here, we interview our legends
because we want to keep them alive.
Because in our culture,
you know, something that I recognize,
you know, Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones,
they're 65 years old.
They are.
And they still cool in their community.
Yeah.
But when a person hit, you know, this year I'm going to be 40.
I'm going to do a big birthday party.
And I finally hit 40.
Me.
So I'm going to do three big birthday parties.
You made it 40 years old.
You're a hip-hop player.
But in our culture, once you get old, people want to kick you out and say it's over for you and things like that.
And that's not what we do here
What we do here, we got people listening to us
And we always want to salute the people
Who put in that work
And who's here
And we ain't necessarily young
But we young in here, we young in the mind
So we salute our legends
And tonight we are celebrating
And we are saluting the motherfucking legend
Of Mike motherfucking
Blake Zola We are celebrating and we are saluting the motherfucking legend of Mike
You
This one works
Every day is New Year's Eve or your birthday some pussy does
Capone came here he his horn blew all the boomboxes. You know boomboxes? You know boomboxes in the Bronx?
Look at this nigga.
Look at this nigga.
This nigga in the Bronx.
So now, what was it when you was putting the powder on your hands?
You was smacking the nigga.
I was baby powder the pimp.
I knew a real pimp that used to put cocaine in his hands.
How did he be from Chicago?
No, he was from Milwaukee. I knew he be from Chicago. No, you're from Milwaukee.
I knew he was from Milwaukee.
I told you.
Don't be playing them up like Gator.
Dust will jump everywhere.
The bitch can just throw him on the floor.
It's the dust, the crowd,
the smack, all of it
that made it this year.
Let me tell you one thing.
I was in Scott Storrs' career
one night.
I got to go there because I want to tell you the dust thing. And he has so much coke One thing, I was in Scott Storrs crib one night. Going back there?
I gotta go there, because I want to tell you the dust thing.
And he has so much coke in his drawer
that when he closed the drawer, it
looked like when the bra go like that.
Just cocaine everywhere.
Hey, man, he was living the life.
He was Scarface.
You was with Eddie the Ass-Eater.
He still living.
Eddie the Ass-Eater. He was dead, right?
It was like...
Yo, come on, man.
Y'all give it up.
This nigga is a fool right here.
Now, this nigga right here,
this is one of them niggas that's...
He's undiscovered,
and he's a damn fool.
Come on over here, man.
How are you undiscovered?
That nigga killed the stage last night.
Everybody knew who he was.
Give him a shot of Tiger Bone, just cause.
Y'all want to get me drunk?
Yeah, Mike said you was hitting lean.
Is that correct?
No.
I'm on heroin.
Here you go.
Enjoy that.
Come on, get in the chair.
Nigga, we need a chair.
Yeah, I'm on the boy.
Come on, nigga.
You on that boy?
We can sit right here.
That thing's ass is about this big.
Come on, get in the chair.
That thing's ass is about another chair. This dude got a
buck or butt,
motherfucker.
He got a booty
like a 20-year-old boy
and he want to talk
trash about it.
Shit got awkward
over here.
Weird.
Here we go.
Now introduce yourself
to the people.
Yo, my name Henry
Wells, the most feared
man in comedy,
straight out of
Birmingham, Alabama.
Yeah, the real
dirty South.
They still hang niggas in Alabama.
No, I moved to Georgia, so I'm good.
Oh, God, yeah.
But the white vote, you can't sip that.
You got to take that down.
Oh, no shit.
Okay.
Yeah.
No Ciroc over here.
Ain't no titties or ditties over here.
You got O.E.
Don't lack Ciroc.
It's the best thing in the world.
And the killer's in DeLeon.
Put the microphone around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This ain't the right way. No thing in the world. And to kill it, put the microphone around.
This ain't the right way.
No, have the logo right here.
That's what's up.
We got Mike Epps.
That's what I'm talking about.
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So, say the name for the people again.
Henry Welch.
Henry Welch.
Yeah, you can see me right now in the shack,
All Stars Live from Las Vegas.
I've been out here doing dates with Mike Epps.
He's a motherfucker fool.
Yeah.
Ignorant nigga, man.
I've been knowing Mike Epps for 20 years.
Yeah, we met each other back in the day.
He always been this funny?
He always been ignorant.
Ignorant.
Yeah.
So he knew he owed me,
so he let me come out here
and try to make it up to him.
Because I had a car when he didn't back in the day,
so I made sure he get a ride home and shit.
That's what's up. He was your Uber back then? And he got my mama
wig off, where he did some good shit for me.
And that was
$40.
Exactly.
I've been checking your shit out, man.
I like your shit. Y'all been this live.
Listen, man, again, I just want to reiterate,
you know, I went to see you guys' show last night,
and I couldn't believe how many people were suited and booted.
And you could tell they went to the barber.
Right.
Yeah.
Like, their lines were sharp.
It was a special night for them.
Let me ask y'all something.
Okay.
Because y'all both OGs in the comedy.
What do y'all think of when y'all hear the title Kings of Comedy?
I just feel like it's just a title.
I feel like Mike Epps is the king of comedy.
You know what I'm saying? For real. Yeah, because he
ain't been out here for years and he'll go behind anybody
on stage. I'm talking about anybody.
You feel what I'm saying? So that's
the king of comedy to me. And he ain't put a lot
of us on. You know what I'm saying? A lot of us
are getting attention because of Mike Epps.
Yeah, so he's the real king of comics.
God damn it. Hey, man, you know what?
And I feel the same way about
the other comics, you know what I mean?
So it's vice versa.
Henry Welch is a raw comic,
man, and one of them underground comics
like Robin Harris and all
the different real comics like that.
Henry's like one of them type of comics.
Now, them kind of comics like that. Henry's like one of them type of comics. Them kind of comics like Robin
Harris,
Bernie Mac,
Red Fox, them dudes didn't get breaks
until they was in their older age.
They've been out here for
a long time.
Here you go, Henry.
Do some drugs.
You smoke
different, Henry.
Medical marijuana.
Do some drugs on tape, man.
Medical marijuana.
Yeah, I'm going to come out.
What that weed you have, Mike?
Spray.
Yeah.
You're wrong on another one, boy.
Exactly.
Let me just tell you something, man.
We going to continue.
Where do you get all this energy at, Noy?
Me?
I got energy
I'm about to be 40
Don't try to play it off
I'm 40 in September
I am 40
I'm not 40 yet
But you know, like I said
We continue to salute our legends
So now, you do
Next Friday
Now you get this call about Friday at the next Legends. So now, you do Next Friday.
Now you get this call about Friday at the next.
Yeah. Where was you at
and what was your reaction?
Well,
Friday at the next was just, that was
a relationship film. Me and
Cube, we was already
doing movies together. Holy moly, Donut Shop.
Yeah. Top flight of security of the world,
Greg. And that's what I'm saying.
See, there's a lot of comics out here
that do movies and stuff like that.
And big ups to them, but
you don't remember what the fuck
they said in the movie.
You know what I mean? You've just seen the movie.
If you ask somebody,
if somebody asks you what they say in the movie,
you'd be like, I don't remember what the fuck he said.
I feel like you're talking about Kevin Hart.
Is that where we're going?
That's a lot of them.
It's a bunch of them motherfuckers.
You know what I mean?
They don't got the memorable lines.
No.
And so basically what I'm saying, I stand on that.
The stuff that I say, it ain't your beauty, it's your booty, that's going to last forever.
You know what I mean?
Everybody going to say that.
Now, is you and Kevin Hart
because I feel like y'all had
went through something at some point.
Kevin Hart, he's my little brother, man.
You know what I mean?
Kevin Hart,
he's a lot younger than me.
big ups to Kevin Hart.
He came in at a time where, you know, I did Def Comedy Jam.
He never did Def Comedy Jam, right?
No, he didn't do Def Comedy Jam.
And he came in the game when Instagram was available for.
I'm trying to figure if this is a shot or not.
Continue.
Yeah.
No, that's a shot against.
He's saying it's different.
He's saying it's different. It. He's saying it's different.
It's different.
Every young motherfucker
came in at a...
It was harder back in the day.
Came in at a time...
It's like music now, too.
Where they were doing...
Where the Instagram is,
you know,
we came in...
We came up at a time
where, you know,
you had to really rock that shit
for people to remember you and come back out
and see you they couldn't go to your page and see shit so you know it's a time difference like you
said yeah but you got like two million people following you so it's the same thing for you
well you know i ain't an instagram dude because i ain't i dude because I ain't in the mood all the time to be sitting up there fucking with a bunch of strange people.
But you do get the internet.
But I do get the internet.
Hell yeah, I be on the internet, but I can't, you know what I'm saying?
Shit.
I need another drink.
You want another shot of Tiger?
Is that what you say?
Okay, this is Dosé.
Wait, I don't know why I pronounced it like that.
Dosé?
You said Dosé?
It felt like I said Dusseldorf.
Y'all got to remember.
We just don't beef, man.
We don't have security guards either.
We have to deal with it.
Yo, y'all ain't have no security.
You know me.
I don't have security.
I have to deal with it.
I felt like I should have my pistol because I said,
but you know what?
It was so cool.
But I swear to God, if something would have went wrong,
somebody would have got shot.
Sonny DBT.
This is my friend.
His name is Sonny DBT.
He's the flea market king.
That nigga got more wrinkles in his head
than a leatherhead.
A leatherhead motherfucker.
A Sonny DBT with a leatherhead.
That nigga got that first football
in his real head.
Leatherhead. Leatherhead. That nigga got that first football. Leatherhead, man.
Leatherhead.
Yo.
I picture that old school shit.
Yo, boy, hold on one more, brother.
Look like Meet the Browns.
Mr. Browns.
I thought it was Mr. Browns.
He look like Mr. Browns.
I thought it was Mr. Browns.
That is Mr. Hades.
Oh, shit.
God damn it.
So now, with that being said, you said that, you know, there's Instagram, you know.
Let me get that.
Go on.
Mike, you fucked up.
Come on.
Man, that's my little clown now, man.
You got Snoop Dogg?
You been smoking Snoop Dogg?
Y'all gotta have five more in my mind.
He trying to see if I can smoke.
Yeah, you been smoking with Snoop Dogg too long.
You said that with Scott Sertow.
Snoop gotta do that roll for him.
Snoop gotta do that roll.
You said I wasn't smoking, though.
You wasn't smoking.
This dude just rolled up for Snoop all day.
Yeah, I know.
I ain't got that much money yet.
No, you can do it, though.
I'm gonna get there.
I'm gonna get there.
Yeah.
I'm gonna get there.
So now, let me ask you an OG
question. What does,
what actually makes a person a
comedian? A comedian is
somebody that can take a story that
a lot of y'all take serious, but we can
go make it funny. You know what I'm saying? You know it's
a serious story. We can turn it around.
We can tell you the story. You can follow us. It's like
we're like doctors. When we get on stage,
we got your attention. Because you go to the doctor, you tell him, you know, this was wrong with you, that was wrong. It's like we're like doctors. When we get on stage, we got your attention.
Because if you go to the doctor, you tell him you know this was wrong with you, that was wrong with you.
So we're like doctors up there.
So that's what makes a real comedian.
He can go to any crowd.
So let me hit y'all with some shit, then.
And walk up to you and just call a motherfucker an ugly-ass bitch and she start laughing.
I want y'all to say something funny about Donald Trump.
Fuck Donald Trump.
Yeah, Because that's
a horrible situation. Can we
see the positive for this?
Make us laugh about it.
What the fuck is Donald Trump? Because I'm scared of death.
Well, believe it or not,
by him not being able
to really understand how to be
the president, the streets
might get a chance to eat now.
The drugs might come. The dope might get in the streets. See, that get a chance to eat now. The drugs might come.
The dope might get in the streets.
See, that's what people don't understand.
Let me tell you something.
I wasn't ready.
Let me tell you something.
We love Obama.
When Obama was in office,
I know people in Kingpins
are selling half.
I went to a Dew House. He used to have all the work. Now I'm selling half. I went to a dude's house.
He used to have all the work.
Now he's selling half.
So I'm just letting you know.
You got kilos of hair.
Kilos of hair.
Indian hair.
Yeah, that's what they don't understand about America.
When the streets ain't eating, the country ain't eating, man.
That's one thing about that group of dudes, the BMF dudes.
Yeah.
Man, they was spending money, man.
They had people going to the mall and buying clothes and all kinds of shit. I was hosting two BMF dudes. Man, they was spending money, man. They had people going to the mall and
buying clothes and all kinds of shit.
I was hosting two BMF parties.
You can't discredit the hood, man.
Once you discredit the hood,
you know, and then they
locked El Chapo up. I had just
talked to him about a hour and a half ago.
Yeah, he was going to do a reality show with El Chapo.
Yeah, I was going to do a reality show with El Chapo.
Yeah, man. They was talking about Sean Penn. I was show with El Chapo. Yeah, I was going to do a reality show with El Chapo. Yeah.
Man, they ain't know.
They was talking about Sean Penn.
I was hanging with him before Sean.
I'm going to introduce him to Sean.
And guess who introduced me to El Chapo?
Scott Storch.
And get what El Chapo had told me.
I could be his Uber driver.
I was all set up for the gig.
You get hit with a shot?
Man, what y'all trying to do?
Hey, man, that's... You got to sweat out your eyebrows.
Hey, man, I still got some night left in me.
No, eye to eye, nigga.
Look at me.
I'm not about the eye to eye. Look at me and my eye, nigga. Look at the twinkle in his eye
Come on you gotta connect now
Alright come on fuck it I'm in
Let's go
Now our life is different
Now our life is a little different
Yeah it's very different
Now I know what this show really is about.
Yeah.
Fuck the interviews.
It's about this liquor.
It's about this liquor.
Having fun.
Yeah, you always have great fun.
I see that.
That's what makes it so unique.
You gotta have fun, man.
Every day.
And people have been telling me, man,
they said, man, you guys are comedic.
And I can't really take that.
But most rappers are funny, though.
Y'all have the best lines and everything.
Y'all have the best lines.
And some funny-looking motherfuckers, too.
Talk about some rappers.
You remember Grand Poobah?
Yeah.
Hey.
What happened?
You didn't piss in.
I didn't piss in.
I didn't.
So now comedy I'm going to do a show like this
I'm going to be sponsoring drug deals
It's going to have coke sitting on the table
Sponsor the BD brothers right here
Let's pick up Vaportini
Vaportini
Vaportini will smoke the shot
Oh yeah right here look We just got to prep it Somebody prep it Vaportini. We got that. You know, you can smoke. Vaportini. Vaportini. You can smoke the shot.
Oh, yeah.
Right here.
Look.
Yeah, yeah. We just got to prep it.
Come on.
Somebody prep it.
You smoked the liquor.
Prep it over here.
We got Best Buy liquors for providing all that.
Yeah, drink that.
You know you drink Old English.
Bro, I'm from the Old English.
I ain't going to front.
Billy Dee Williams is literally your step-uncle.
Look, we got a little bottle here.
You know Billy Dee Williams is your step-uncle, nigga.
Come on.
Let's go.
Drink that.
Drink that smooth coke, buddy.
Is that what?
I love your song.
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
Old English ain't Billy Dee Williams.
Billy Dee Williams is Coke 45.
Coke 45.
Yeah, see, you can tell it on yourself.
I was fucking up.
You tell it on yourself.
But Old English, is that your time?
Hell yeah.
1990s.
In private stock.
Nigga, 1990s.
In private stock.
I remember that.
Yeah, 1990s.
You know what I'm saying?
When niggas was wearing Carhartts and driving 5.0s and wearing 8-ball and troop jackets.
Wearing beanies.
Wearing motherfucking overhauls.
You know what I'm saying?
With Timberland boots, with lumberjack shirts.
Motherfuckers had...
I'm talking about the drug dealers.
As soon as a motherfucker would go to buy some drugs and and a nigga pull out one of them little bitty scales
and just weigh it right there on the block.
And unclip it and give you seven grams right there.
So I know you're talking about yourself.
How?
I know you're talking about yourself.
Boy, you hear me?
I know how to eyeball some dope in a minute.
Sometimes a motherfucker catch me right when I just cop,
and I needed that money.
I ain't have time to bag it up.
I'll sit there and serve him right off the brick and just eyeball.
Yeah.
The motherfucker had $20.
I'll serve a $20 motherfucking customer right here.
Here, I'm serving.
I want $20 too.
Get all that motherfucker money.
Oh, my God.
Yo, what is this?
Jim Beam.
You want some Jim Beam?
I just feel like
you drink Jim Beam.
You feeling wrong?
Yeah, you feeling wrong.
How did this
get on this table?
Look what it says.
That's my liquor.
They almost cut.
They almost cut.
No, I'm a ball.
I just look like this.
I don't really drink this.
You don't really drink?
I drink upscale shit like this. You know't really drink this. You don't really drink?
You know we got marijuana infused vodka.
Right here.
Surround is the best vodka in the world.
You can take the bottle.
It's marijuana infused.
You want one, Mike?
It's marijuana infused.
Do we got gifts?
Oh, yeah. Give me the gifts.
Here's my favorite new show.
One for you and one for you. And we got my boy Redo coming up, right? I say that name right? Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah. Give me the gifts. We got gifts. Give me my favorite new show. Yeah.
One for you.
Oh, man.
And one for you.
And we got my boy, Redo, coming up.
Right?
I say that name right?
Redo.
Redo.
Yeah, Redo.
Come over here and say something to these people, goddammit.
Goddamn Redo and his building.
Yo, you got the cup.
See, I ain't even got that cup.
What do you mean?
You got a lot.
I'm Friday.
You got shots?
I know, but I need a cup for here.
You got shot glass. Look, look, Mike. Look, we taking care of y'all. Henry, we taking care of y'all.
I'm going to give this shit to one of my cousins
that'll be watching this shit.
Talk right here, Redo.
Oh, what's going on?
I never know.
What's going on, y'all?
No, no, no.
You got to be kidding me.
Who is this little fat spliff star right here?
I thought this was a Busta Rhymes dude.
What's going on, man? What's going on, man? I thought that was C Busta Rhymes dude. What's going on, man?
I thought that was CeeLo, really.
No, no, no, his arm's too long.
CeeLo's arm's like this.
I just want to be in the game.
It's ain't no crazy.
Oh, my God.
You kind of like a big midget, you know what I mean?
He's going to grow out of it.
You was about to be a midget and God said, huh?
Talk about me, man. Who do I look like? Talk about me, man.
Who do I look like?
Talk about me, man.
What about this shirt right here?
Is that a school teacher shirt right there?
Ain't he built like a blunt?
Built like a little short ITU.
Nigga, you look like dying with Mr. Cooper, nigga.
That's a good one.
Dying with Mr. Cooper.
A nigga with a lace front beard.
So, yeah, I'll take that.
You got a lace front beard? Yeah.
Dying with Mr. Cooper?
Get that blunt, nigga.
You smoking?
Get that blunt. You know You smoking? Get that blunt.
You know, he on Instagram, he famous.
This is an ill nigga.
That nigga is a fool on Instagram.
I'll stay watching that.
I appreciate y'all, man.
Look, I'm putting comedians together.
This is what I do over here at Street Champs.
This is what we do.
We put people together.
Big up Nayshawn and Super O for helping me put this together. Yeah, Nayshawn. You had to do it with Nayshawn and Super O. We put people together. Big up Nate Sean and Super O for helping me put this together.
Yeah, Nate Sean.
Yeah, the dude in the middle.
Nate Sean and Super O for helping put this together.
Nate Sean.
He left the club at 7 this morning.
Who, Nate Sean?
Yeah, I'm telling Hov all type of shit on him.
I'm making up shit on Nate Sean.
He left out with the power collapse, man.
Just call him because he snitched on me.
You know that, right?
You know Nate Sean snitched on me.
I had said something wrong about Hov.
Okay.
And Hov done called me the day after Thanksgiving, had me sweating all type of places.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I ain't supposed to be sweating.
But Nashawn did it, but that's my man.
I told Hov that I seen him.
I said, Hov, I seen your little nephew.
Nephew.
Yeah, he was having fun with me.
He was laughing.
I said, I see your nephew, Nashawn.
He said, you better watch him.
He was watching. I said, I see your son, your nephew, he said, you better watch him. He be having them hoes around
and all kind of shit.
He's gang related.
He's gang related?
Oh man, I ain't know that.
Hey Sean, I ain't know that about you.
This is my nigga, Nate Sean.
Can y'all pop that bottle?
Which one? Pop the bottle, nigga.
The Moet. Yeah, go ahead. No, no, not that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, hit that. Have you ever started cocaine?
No, I never have.
I love cocaine stories.
I think he is lying.
The way he said, no, I never
have.
That's some bullshit right there.
There ain't no fucking way he's been out of this goddamn time.
Who got cocaine?
Who got cocaine here?
His wife over there like this.
He don't like cocaine, but he likes straws.
He likes straws.
I love cocaine stories.
Oh, Sapphire, Sapphire.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
That's how you do it.
This is how it just happens.
This is a real motherfucking TV show.
This is the loudest shit in the world.
This is a real TV show right here, man.
You know, we got this on Revolt.
Why?
This is on TV?
This is on TV right here.
Shout out to P. Diddy.
P. Diddy.
Shout out to Diddy for cutting the chat.
Yeah, P. Diddy.
So like I said, again, the Deleon is the best thing in the world
You understand
Fuck you Mike
The Deleon
Don't forget the Ciroc
You can't go wrong
When you got the Ciroc going on
I'm going to tell you something
Now this motherfucker will kill a nigga with diabetes
With diabetes
I call it diabetes Oh my god Because it doesn't beat you Now, this motherfucker will kill a nigga with diabetes. With diabetes.
I call it diabetes.
Oh, my God.
Because it doesn't beat you.
Diabetes.
Diabetes.
Diabetes your ass.
But check this out, man. This is a real show right here, man.
Yeah, but it's a real show.
Y'all have fun.
Y'all have fun.
Everybody watching this shit, too.
That's what I like.
Y'all got to come.
I'm not going to lie.
You popped it, but you didn't pour.
And I'm offended.
You got to pour.
You got to pour yourself something. I was popping it for him. Take one of these. That's what I like y'all got a lot you popped it, but you didn't pour and I'm offended you got a poor you gotta pour
Yourself some
Make it so I'm do we all doing our job
Yo, Mike, you don't know him I see that nigga on Instagram We never met That's dope
And they vape you as soon as they see you
So I love comedians
So y'all can actually just make fun of somebody
And everybody
And when you're a comedian
You have to understand that that's the right of passage
I can walk up on people and they say
You's an ugly ass bitch
And they'll start laughing
I'll be like damn
Do you know what I just said?
You get a pass for that.
I get a pass for this shit.
That's crazy.
See, that's the thing.
See, that's why I'm saying.
As soon as I came in town,
I got in the rental car,
I drove straight to the pork and bean
and jumped out the car.
Right.
Right there where first 40,
somebody's choking.
A lot of people can't do that.
Nobody can do that.
Motherfuckers, they had teddy bears and shit
right there at the door where a motherfucker
just died. And I jumped
out the car just, you know, because
you know,
when you of the people
you're not going to ever be scared of them.
And you're going to be ready to die.
When you of the people.
I respect that, but
I'm going to have to ask you to stop that.
You already proved
you the hoodiest nigga in the world, Mike.
We're going to have to keep you in South Beach, okay?
Poking beans is not safe. I'm just
keeping it real with you. You Mike Epps
and I seen Jinky Promotus?
Brother, I jump out on the south
side of Chicago. I jump
out any motherfucker
out of the car and be right there.
I only stayed
for about five minutes.
That's on God.
Yeah.
That's all you need.
It's called cameo.
I'm thinking you both
Take a picture.
Take a picture.
Five minutes.
That's it.
Three seconds and we go.
Five pictures.
It was great for ten minutes
like you said.
But I swear to God, man,
that is the beauty
because a lot of people come to Miami and they come straight to South Beach.
They don't go to the real Miami.
They don't go down there over in the pork and beans and jump out the car and shit.
Oh, even right here.
We in Little Haiti right now.
Let me tell you something.
Yeah, take your ass down there where it's real and jump out the car and that real shit.
Don't wait until you get to live and be walking around that motherfucker
with a gun in your pocket.
Let me tell you one story.
That shit don't count.
I'm across the street
from Pauk and Bean, right?
What do you mean?
Liberty City, right?
No, this is...
I had caught a flat tire.
I remember.
We was all...
They didn't know you, though.
You was a little nigga.
Let me tell you what happened.
They ain't gonna fuck with you.
So I went to get my tire fixed,
but the Pauk and Bean right there or whatever, it was just one project.
And there's so much gunshot.
Pow, my mind going on.
So I tell the police, police.
I said, you want to hear that?
Niggas said, oh, that's not my jurisdiction.
Wow.
I never seen that in my life.
Nice, man.
Police said, that's not my jurisdiction.
I said, you bitch ass nigga, go out there.
This nigga was like, that's how crazy.
He didn't want no problem.
And this hood, these like Miami, like people just only think about South Beach.
Now this is a rough place.
Miami is a very rough place.
You just got to know where to walk, but always respect it.
And that's why I always.
And those hoods, like Pork and Beans, they real isolated too.
See, Mike had been there 10 years ago, so it was like a reunion.
When they saw him back over there, they're like, Mike, you was here 10 years ago.
You came back.
Yeah, so it felt like he came back for him.
But he didn't, but he did come back.
But, boy, when I be standing around the hood like that and everybody be laughing and cheering,
I'm something to say, turn around and look.
And when I look, it be one nigga looking at me.
Okay, it's time to get the fuck around here. He ain't feeling it. That's that one nigga looking at you. Okay, it's time to get the fuck out of here.
He ain't feeling it.
That's that one nigga that Soulja Boy trying to hold.
He feel like he the neighborhood dude.
Or he knows you leaving.
Big Soul ain't from here.
You ain't staying there.
Right.
Yeah, but I love it, man.
I want to ask you a motherfucking question.
Okay, you can.
Let me get to the Jinky Promoters real quick.
That's another hood classic.
Do you know that?
Yes.
Hood classic. Hood classic.
Hood classic.
Jelly Roll Entertainment.
Jelly Roll Entertainment.
And Russell Redd in conjunction.
Now, whose idea was the Jinky Promoters?
Because that was no head on.
Every rapper, because y'all niggas, y'all comedians ain't drinking shit.
Y'all pop the bottle.
You pop the bottle on ice.
You ain't even pouring nothing, nigga.
I'm not drinking. P.C., man. What are you doing, man? Oh nigga what are you doing let me show y'all niggas this is how french people
pour this shit okay you from new york
now i'm sending these friends yeah no i got i got french ways
you want to switch up on the alcohol I got a favorite video Come on nigga Drink up nigga You wanna do another shot?
You wanna switch up?
You wanna switch up
On the alcohol?
Let's do another shot
Come on Mike
This is three
50 did four
And he don't drink
50 did four
And this is documented
And what have we done so far?
Three?
We've done three
Let's do four
We gotta go four
You gotta tie 50 at least
Come on Mike Get another shot Tiger Ball Let's make some. We got to go four. You got to tie 50 at least. Come on, Mike.
Get another shot of Tiger Bone.
Let's make some money for that.
Pour it up.
Pour it up.
You can switch the liquor up, though.
If you want to switch the liquor up, I'm fucking with you, Mike.
You were the hottest nigga in the world.
Can't believe you did my video when you did it.
I want to thank you.
How do y'all beat the dude from the two live music?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Eddie, you can't pour like that.
Mr. Mix.
That's your daddy.
Mr. Mix, your daddy. Yeah. Ah, me so. Mick. That's your daddy? Mr. Mick, your daddy?
Yeah.
Ah, me so horny.
That's your daddy, bro.
I like how you played along with my daddy.
Let's stop, brother.
Look at him.
You know how to pour.
Yeah, pour.
Add one more.
We got two more.
Two more.
How do I pronounce your name right?
Rito?
Rito.
Where's the Ciroc come from?
You got to make it.
You got to just be red.
You got a simple shout out.
I want to ask you, Nori, because you.
All right, let's take a shot first.
Wait, wait.
Because you know this is a lick of cocaine, just in case y'all ain't know.
Solid.
All right, where you at?
You ain't got one?
All right, yo.
Eye to eye, nigga.
Look, no.
Eye to eye.
Eye to eye, nigga.
I got big eyes.
I see.
Let's go.
So, look, out of the eye, nigga. I got big eyes. I see you. So, look.
Even though you're a rapper, right?
Look at how big-boned.
Yeah.
You're a rapper, right?
You're a rapper from the 90s.
Yeah.
How do you feel about these young rappers right now?
Right.
Okay.
Now, what do you think about that?
All right.
I'm going to give you the best answer I could ever give.
I've always been two people, right?
Because I'm black and Puerto Rican.
So I've been always, you drop me in Mexico, I don't know how to relate with them niggas.
You drop me in Kingston, I don't know how to relate with them niggas.
So I try to look at life like that.
A part of me says, that's not what hip-hop is.
But then a part of me says, that's what they-hop is but then a part of me says that's what
they said about me when i was young wow yeah so i learned to accept both that's real and i learned
to approach both with the same love like when i hear real hip-hop i always be like yeah yeah what
the fuck of course when i hear a lupe fiasco or fucking because i want to big up lupe because i
felt he yeah you kind of you kind of threw a little shade on him.
But when I hear Lupe Fiasco or Talib Kweli or Nas,
J. Cole,
when I hear real hip-hop,
I always,
but I can't be mad at,
my bitch is bad and bougie.
Fucker the coke of the Uzi.
And I'm kidding.
That's real shit.
Why the fuck with that?
Because,
because you know why? I ain't aged. I ain't aged. That's real shit. Why the fuck with that? Right. Because, you know why?
I ain't aged.
I ain't aged.
That's Elliot Wilson train.
Don't worry about it.
We know you don't know who he is.
Don't problem.
Roll another blunt, please.
Make it happen.
All right.
Come on, Mike.
There you go.
Yo, Mike, you came with a bag of weed.
Where'd your weed go?
Let's smoke Mike Adams' weed.
You want me to go get it?
Yeah.
Go ahead, nigga.
That nigga's got some weed.
He's going to bring heroin and shit.
You understand what I'm saying?
You understand what I'm saying?
What I'm saying is, I can't.
I don't fuck with the old school.
You want to go through that?
That's how the old niggas be sitting there.
I'm not taking that.
I'm not taking that.
I'm not taking that.
Come on, man. you know where I used to cop some dope, right?
You know where I used to cop dope at?
Right there on 147 Broadway.
In between Broadway
and Amsterdam. Oh, that's Dominican.
Yeah, the Dominicans. One time, I'm
up in that motherfucker buying some
dope, and the motherfucker took me
upstairs. The dude was sitting at
the desk. He had the cocaine right
there in the aluminum foil.
He had the crusher. He was sitting there crushing
and putting it in the aluminum foil.
And one of them said, pop, pop.
And when he said, pop, pop, nigga, the police was coming in.
While I'm standing, I swear to God, while I'm standing there copping, they start running.
I said, man, what do I do?
So the dude that was serving the code, I followed him.
He's like, come on, come on this way.
And I swear, we was just running through some doors.
I swear to God, in New York, up in Harlem.
And when we ran out, we came out of a door, nigga, we was on the inside of the apartment.
Like, it was...
Like, behind the walls?
No, no, like, in New York, in the projects, they have, like, a fort on the inside of them.
Oh, like a courtyard.
Like a courtyard inside the projects.
Like the projects are surrounded on the inside.
Nigga, we was running through motherfucking water and all that.
We went through a door, nigga.
Water?
Yeah, we was on 125th Street.
No, we was on Broadway.
We went through the door.
We walked out the door, nigga
We was on Broadway
He went that way, I went that way
I said, nigga, I ain't never coming up here buying shit
Bye, papa
Bye
I'm sorry
You saw the one thing
When I first moved to New York
I had a Cadillac
When I first moved to New York
I had a Cadillac, right I went to pick New York, I had a Cadillac, right?
And I went to pick a girl.
This bitch said, I didn't know you drove a cab.
I said, bitch, that's my car.
I'm from Indiana, bitch.
This is luxury in Indiana.
You don't have to buy me a cab.
That is not luxury in New York.
People don't get it.
I cannot believe you got loves. That's not lucky in New York. I cannot believe you got loves.
I wouldn't wear these motherfuckers to a bat fight.
Just you and Birdman, huh?
Birdman wear these?
Yeah, he got them too.
He would know what happened to that boy?
Norris, if I catch you in here,
what can you do on tonight?
Yeah, we gonna shoot your feet.
You gonna shoot his feet?
Oh, shit. He gonna do the Michael Jackson tonight.
Oh, shit.
She got real love.
We got Luggs in your gift bag.
You're like, the only body that got the Luggs is got lugs in your gift bag. She's like,
everybody got the lugs
in the New York rappers.
I never really seen them down south.
Nah, Birdman.
What are you talking about?
We don't fuck with Birdman.
We hear him.
He ain't in New Orleans.
That's a whole nother country.
New Orleans ain't considered the south.
Baby, baby,
that's a whole nother country down there.
But Alabama,
that's the same thing.
No, no, no.
That's the silver rice city.
Everybody from New York, all y'all go to family unions down south.
You know I'm not lying.
Ain't nobody going to Brooklyn for no damn family union.
Pass that champagne.
Ain't nobody going to Brooklyn for a family union.
We'll go see the game, but we ain't going to no family union in no damn Brooklyn.
We'll go see Jiggle.
You're very right.
If you're black, your family union is down south.
South Carolina, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida.
And if you catch a case in New York, you can run down to South Carolina.
You can go to your auntie down south.
That's usually where the feds find New York niggas, down south.
You know he's right here.
You see, you know he ran to the south again.
He got the hottest showdown house out in New York.
He shot a video.
He ain't left yet.
Oh, God damn, man.
I don't like y'all being that accurate.
He shot pyramids and got the hell out of New York.
I don't like y'all being that accurate.
This is crazy.
You love it out here.
They got grass.
You like that tiger bone?
Did you have a tiger bone?
It's smooth.
It's smooth. It ain't smooth, man. It's a lot of things. And you can put it on your fried rice, too. out here. They got grass. You like that tiger bone? Did you ever try all this shit? All this shit is free.
It ain't smooth, Mike.
You can put it on your fried rice.
It ain't smooth. I've been drinking tiger bone
for 20 years. I still ain't used to it.
Wow.
It's meant
to loosen the gas up because
it's actually a herb.
So it ain't bad for you.
It ain't bad for you, but
if a person ain't ready,
they talking about, man,
I was thinking about Lizzy Lohan.
You're like, what the fuck?
What happened?
On here, right here.
So that's how we get it out of the people.
But you know, you guys are already liberal.
It's not really working with you guys because you guys are already liberal it's not really working with you guys because you guys are already just
open book and this is it's a fantastic thing so what does comedians need to do because like right
now right hip-hop and hip-hop i feel like hip-hop in order for hip-hop to keep surviving and keep
maintaining uh a person like me who's considered an old person Even though I'm only 39 I'm considered an old person
Because I came out since I was 17, 18
But for me
To sustain hip hop
It's just like
I'm just going to support anything in hip hop
I'm going to support everything
Anybody that's popping
I'm going to help them maintain their popping
But what does comedy need to do
To keep sustaining
so it's more younger generation
people getting
into the comedic stance
and then maintaining
the righteousness?
Being original.
That's the whole key to it. Being yourself.
You can look at Mike Epps, but you can't be Mike Epps.
You can watch me. You can watch Dave Chappelle,
but you can't be us, Chris Rock. You gotta
be who you are. That's what makes comedy so
unique. It's about you.
If you ain't gonna be who you is, you can't go up there and be nobody else.
And it takes time for you to find
your voice in comedy. Because it takes five to
six years to really learn how to be a comedian.
See, people think they made you laugh. Yeah,
because you can go up the next night and bomb.
I know a lot of comedy that was funny one night
and you didn't see them no more.
Because they got booed and they're like, I ain't going back.
And comedy is not music.
Because music you can blow up
overnight, but not comedy.
You can play the cymbals and be the shit of the band.
It takes time for you to learn
the craft and build yourself
up. But one thing about comics
and comedians, we
never go away. Nope. Ain't no age
limit on us. Y'all have age limits.
They don't respect the older rappers.
They don't respect y'all, but y'all are the best ones.
Well,
this is the reality of that.
Is that
you guys got an
opportunity to
go overseas
and, I mean I mean like in some
countries, Noriega is brand new.
I can imagine.
They treat you like you brand new.
Like when them sauce come out
because them countries and some of
these cities are dated. They really
primitive. They don't really. Yeah, they get the material
very late. They do.
You brand new to them and they don't understand
the shit that's too ahead of them
is what's playing now.
You're going to always eat too.
You know what I mean? That's the great thing
about it. But you have to be a great artist.
What I do notice about that
is that a lot of the older artists
that come from your era,
they're the ones
eating.
These new artists
I don't think they gonna eat like that
When they get old
Because
They don't have longevity
It's a new one every day
Next week they won't be here
It's a new artist every day
And based
What he was saying
Like he's saying
Supporting all the new artists
The difference is
Is that a lot of these
They all sound the same
Like you saying
That's right
Develop your own thing
Right
Like the 90's era, you could not
sound like the next rapper.
That's why I big up the comedic stance.
You can't go on a show
on a comedy show
sound like
the very same guy
who came on before you.
Right now, there's three 21 Savages.
There's a 21 Savage.
There's a 22 Savage. There's a 21 savage. A 22?
There's a 22 savage.
There's a 23 on the way.
And now there's a 23.
And I'm a 45 savage.
Yeah, I'm a 48 savage.
Are you going to tell them that?
Are you going to tell them that as an OG?
Are you going to point that out?
Why not everybody just leave 21 savage?
He established the name first.
I don't give a fuck.
Right.
But he should be the only one
I like what you're saying
But I don't care what you say
You rap like you're in
The witness protection program
You sound like he's nervous
Alright, alright, alright
I just started to know my name
That's how you rap
Like he's on the dance floor
He hard to me
This is Norrie talking
He hard to me
He hard but he still sounds like
They're looking at me
Right, yeah, yeah
But that's what I like
About my new artist
When I see a new artist
That's actually
Afraid of the cameras
I actually gravitate
To him more
Because I know that
That's where the era
I come from
I'm afraid of the cameras
I got a question for you
About being a New York rapper
How did you feel
When Rich Homie Coyne
Did know the verse
To Biggie Smalls' song
We just talked about this
With the tribe situation
Yeah I've been wanting
To ask a rapper there
Ever since they have Been about you being from New York
I got a degree in psychology from Alabama State University
I just teach school
But I can make more money telling jokes with Mike Epps
And I can sleep later
Nigga you better give me that $40
From that strip club
While you're sitting there talking about all these degrees
And shit
I sat there
That bitch that you had over there
She sat there and danced for you
And kept looking at me
Cause the bitch knowed I was gonna give you the money
I'm like I'm not the one
Rubbing on your ass bitch
Now you hear that nerd
That's that gas money from 96
Nah but that's real shit.
This is Mike Epps' weed?
It's nice.
Oh, come on.
It's from Cali, baby.
It's from Cali.
You snuck this with you on it?
Nah, I can't tell you
all that kind of shit.
I brought it from Atlanta.
I'll incriminate you.
Alphabet boys watch this show, too.
Nah, they ain't fucking with us.
Man, please.
They love your show.
They got a whole social network. That's what niggas don They love your show. They got a whole social network.
That's what niggas don't understand.
The feds got a whole social network.
The feds be tagging each other and everything.
That's why niggas standing there with the guns and shit.
It's like, nigga, why is you telling on yourself like that?
It's a snitching society now.
Yeah, because guess what?
The first thing I'm saying to myself when I see a motherfucker with all of them guns on the internet,
now I'm saying to myself, somebody around there ain't never been to prison.
Yep.
Right.
Because somebody is able to go buy these guns.
Right.
So there's a nerd around here buying these guns.
It's a little cause and effect.
Gun laws is that stupid.
Right.
I ain't going to lie.
No.
I'm from New York, born and raised.
I came out here.
My niggas was going to Walmart buying bullets.
It's serious.
Whatever.
But that's different in different states.
In the South.
Go to a gun show, buy an arsenal, an army.
Look at Mike Adams hitting that shit like an old nigga.
Look at you.
I am an old player. No, no, no. You're an old player. I'm telling you, an old player. Look at you. I am an old player.
No, no, no.
You're an old player.
I'm telling you, an old player, man.
That's what I'm talking about, man.
See, a lot of these comedians, I grew up in the real, in the after-hour clubs where it was old players in there and they was all gambling.
It'd have a sign on the wall that said, no guns, dope, and all of that is in there.
That's why we in there one time i was 17 right i'm in the after i had to club shooting craps with all these old players
and pimps and shit and back in the 90s the police used to just jump out the car so if you ain't had
that dope up under your tongue like that ready to swallow it, they gonna bust you. They gonna catch
you. They going in your drawers and everything with the
flashlight. So I took a motherfucking
razor. I had them old starter jackets.
You know them starter jackets? Yes, I do.
I had a Raider starter jacket.
And I cut the motherfucker's
hem in it and put the dope down in there.
So the police would search me
and the whole time I got the packs in
my motherfucking jacket. Man,
I'm in the after-hour club and I take the dice
and when I throw the dice out,
cocaine came
out too.
And when the cocaine came out,
all the old players,
and one old
nigga grabbed me and said, get your ass out of here.
And he had me
like this and he took me outside and he said, man, what the
fuck is wrong with you? And he had the dope
in his hand. He said, nigga, wait. How much you want
for two?
You know what I'm saying? I made
another out right there.
Cocaine a hell of a
drug.
Cocaine a hell of a drug. Cocaine a hell of a drug.
See, that's the thing, man.
See, that's one thing
about New York and L.A.
New York City and L.A.
has always been
the leaders of
black men in America.
In other cities.
The biggest influence was New York and L.A.
on a lot of cities in America.
And depending on what city you lived in
and who you thought was cool,
you would roll with them.
So if it was the West Coast
and you was from some city,
you would roll with the West Coast.
Right.
Or if you was from another city
and you would roll with New York.
But it's a lot of real niggas
all over the world. They just don't have a
brand name. You see what I'm
saying? You know, when you're from
New York and you're from L.A.,
you automatically
get branded
as a real nigga.
You see what I'm saying? You have to literally
go to them niggas. You literally have to go to New York and L.A.
and go down in them niggas' neighborhoods
and run around they real friends for them friends
and tell them, that's a bitch-ass nigga, man.
That nigga ain't...
You know what I'm saying?
That's how that shit work.
You know what I mean?
That's how that shit work right there.
I do it all the time.
I check every motherfucker's file in the business.
They don't even know it. I be standing right there with
their friend.
Hey, you want some more
champagne? I haven't met none
of your friends, though.
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so when you got the call when you got the call They said Noriega wants to do the
How did you feel?
Because the record didn't come out yet
Remember that's how I know you're a real nigga
Let me big you up
Because I was a fan of yours
From back in the day
One time you had a headband on
That I wanted so bad
You had that motherfucker lean like this
I said man I want that headband You got them headbands. You had that motherfucker lean like this.
I said, man, I want that headband.
I want that headband.
Hey, Doc, you remember them little headbands?
That nigga had a headband in my heart. What are you talking about?
It was white, man.
I said, man, that nigga's headband is bad as a bomb.
Because, you know, New York niggas is dressing, man.
New York niggas get all the clothes
before any nigga down south.
Look, y'all niggas ain't even
bigging me up. Did you see how I just poured that?
Oh, you a fool with the drink.
You could be a bartender.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Look at the perfectly poured.
If you don't get no old rap gigs, you could be a
bartender.
You good. You're good.
You're good.
You're good.
You're good.
Now you're a waiter.
You turned to a waiter.
Now, that was his fault.
I can tell you ain't drink champagne like that in a long time.
Go ahead.
Hit it.
Come on.
Hey, man, niggas are scared of Donald Trump, but let me tell you something about Donald
Trump.
Tell me something about Donald Trump.
Donald Trump, he don't want to be the president.
He met with Steve Harvey.
Yeah.
Many times.
They met many times.
How did the comedians feel about that?
I didn't understand that.
Listen, Steve Harvey, Steve Harvey is, he don't give a fuck what a nigga think about him.
Right.
That's how he feel.
He's like, a nigga can't do nothing for me no way, so I don't give a fuck what you niggas think about me.
Steve Harvey is on a daytime television show,
and all of his fans are probably Donald Trump's fans.
Right.
Wow.
In some kind of way, somebody done told him that,
and he was like, fuck them niggas.
He's going straight for his demo.
Fuck them niggas, y'all.
And I'll put that pistol on all you bitch-ass niggas. I'll have all you niggas. He's going straight for his demo. And I put that pistol on all you bitch ass niggas.
I have all you niggas. He is from Cleveland.
He is from Cleveland.
So I'll tell you how the niggas feel, man.
The niggas probably.
But the thing about being a black man in America and you from poverty and you from the ghetto
is that people that was in office,
they never really had nothing to do with your motherfucking life anyway.
They never affected you anyway, because you've always been on the bottom,
no matter who the fuck got in office.
Nigga, what?
I've been on the bottom.
Obama was the first time we had a president, and Clinton,
where I had anything in my pocket.
All the other presidents, they never affected me anyway.
Reagan affected me because he put them food stamps in my mama's jail.
He put them food stamps in the neighborhood.
Yeah, Reagan.
Reagan's a cracker.
Niggas getting money, man.
Right.
And motherfuckers don't understand that the country is ran by Republicans.
And when Republicans is in office, niggas get money.
Because the country's based off of crime.
Any motherfucker.
The criminals built this
motherfucking country, man.
For real.
So when the streets ain't eating,
ain't nobody eating.
So what Trump is finna do
is he finna make the whole country
is about to be about Snapchat.
They might as well call this motherfucker USA Snapchat USA, baby.
He's making America the entertainment capital, right?
Which it already was, but he want to make this Dubai.
But don't forget on Thursday.
That's why he's doing all the remodeling and shit, because it's all entertainment for him.
He's using the United States to sell his dope.
He said he ain't going to stay in the White House.
You know, he said he ain't going to stay in the White House.
He's staying in New York.
He's staying in New York.
As a New York guy, I respect that.
You respect that?
Why do you respect that?
No, he's going to stay in the White House.
He's going to end up staying in the White House.
Because I'm going to stay here once.
That nigga office next to the Gucci store.
That's all.
Okay, I know he's the new president, but don't forget on Thursday, Obama mixtape drop.
I'm downloading
Obama shit.
The name of Obama's mixtape is
I want my safety
security deposit back.
From the White House.
I want my first month and last month rent
back that I had to
pay when I got in the White House.
So y'all think it's going to be that bad?
Yeah, it's bad right now.
It's going to be weird.
Don't go blow your money.
That's what I'm saying.
Don't do that with your money.
It's going to be weird.
Because every day he on Twitter,
he's very angry.
Well, he wants to be famous.
Yeah, yeah.
And he looks like a piece of spam.
Right.
He acting like a 16-year-old girl.
He like an old white lady.
He like an old white lady.
And the niggas that's white lady alright and the niggas
that's endorsing them
they
the niggas
that's endorsing
Donald Trump
they
them are the niggas
that don't give a fuck
what a nigga
is saying about them
right
cause that's the only
he can't get nobody
to perform this weekend
he might wanna play
my mixtape
even some of the
Rockettes didn't wanna go
some of the Rockettes
nobody wanna play
alright
he can't get nobody
if he called you right now
and said he had five minutes
That's what I like
Well he basically told you that he was racist
He basically told you that he
From day one
Steve Harvey don't care man he just told you
And Kanye
That's the same guy that cried about Steve Harvey
Jim Brown
And Amorosa he put her in a cabinet
Who? Amorosa the chick put her in a cabinet. Who?
Amorosa, the chick from his reality show.
Oh, Amorosa. Well, let's see which one of them black people get up on Dream and play Joker and get what they need to get to help us.
Because it might be one of them doing that.
Which one do you think will do it, though?
Jim Brown.
You think Jim Brown is the one that's doing that?
No, Jim Brown.
Jim Brown not with him.
That's right.
You think he's getting with him to get the Jets, to get back to us?
And the nigga that caught the body.
What's the nigga that caught the body?
Ray Lewis.
Ray Lewis?
Yeah.
Well, he's hiring Ray Lewis to hit somebody.
What's on Ray Lewis security?
Ray Lewis.
I want that nigga's ass out of here.
Ray Lewis for security.
The Boston promoter that's hanging with him.
What's that mean?
Tyson dude.
Oh, Don King.
Don King.
Don King 85 years old, though.
He did everything with Dye.
He out of here.
I'm just saying.
It's over for Don King.
He don't know where he at.
He just hanging out with the jeans jacket on.
Don King, he fucked one of my little bitches.
Bitches or midgets?
No, the bitch was in the bathroom and the phone rang and it said, Don King on the phone.
So he still got it.
He still got it.
And when I hit it, everybody make a sound.
Hey, here he comes.
Oh, CeeLo.
What up, CeeLo?
Damn.
They say I'm crazy.
Tiger Boone.
Tiger Boone.
Hey, man.
I said, what's up?
What's up?
What's up?
What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Oh, CeeLo, what happened, CeeLo? Damn. They say I'm crazy.
Tiger Bone, Tiger Bone.
That's never happened here on Dream Champs.
Y'all better put a leash on this little ninja.
This little hard man dude.
Holy shit. I feel like I had rollerblades on, nigga.
That title ball got me fucked up, nigga.
Yo, you ain't tell me I wasn't supposed to get up, nigga.
I was fucked up, nigga. He was putting on the looks for a second.
Shit, nigga, I was.
I was rolled out, nigga.
Everything all right? Nah, you just ruined our set.
You all right?
No, that's cool.
We good, we good.
Oh, shit.
Now, you know it was Dragon, right?
You know what that is, Nerd?
His peel just kicked in.
The peel just kicked in.
The Dragon was one thing, that molly just hit.
He just got hit with the tiger.
That's the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life.
That shit was funny.
Shout out to CZ.
Shout out to CZ.
Shout out to CZ. Shout out to CZ. Shout out to CZ. Shout out to CZ. Shout out to CZ. The dragon was one thing that Molly just hit. He just got hit with the tiger.
That's the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life.
That shit was funny.
Shout out to C-Murder, man.
Shout out to C-Murder down there in Angola.
You know what I mean?
That's my man right there, C-Murder.
That was hell.
Yeah, see, that's why when I be seeing all these rappers
and these dudes doing all that stuff like that,
and then you think of somebody like C-Murder, you say to yourself,
y'all niggas is bullshit, for real.
If you're getting money and you're enjoying life, just do that.
And if you're not going to do that and you're going to do the other thing, really do it.
Stop bullshitting.
Go all the way one way or the other way.
Yeah, don't even play with it.
Because it ain't no game.
Don't be serious about that game.
There's plenty of examples of what not to do.
Right.
Yeah.
Don't do it, man, because the day you lay off is the day you pay off.
Ooh.
Yeah.
You had to put your sunglasses on.
Oh, he put his sunglasses on.
He got on drinks.
You got a show tonight?
You going to do a show?
Yeah.
You should have seen him.
It looked like he was wrestling with somebody back then.
He had a big piece of sweat right now.
Y'all gonna see the whole time I'm here.
He got a show. Everybody go get another jury.
He got to go get a show jury.
This ain't the jury for the show. He got a show tonight.
Go get the big piece.
You got a show tonight?
He put the glasses on.
I'm nasty.
Damn, nigga. What the fuck? I got them at the glasses on. We got a show right now. Nasty. Nigga, what's up? Them Cartiers? Them Cartiers.
Damn, nigga.
What the fuck?
Man, I got them at the liquor store.
That's it.
I can drink liquor.
You know what I mean?
I got them motherfuckers right there on 38th and Meridian.
These are hard.
These are hard.
All right, we're going to keep them here.
They're yours, man.
Yeah.
Hold on, I got to take a piss.
I'm not going to lie.
We got five more minutes, and that's it.
Don't read.
Oh, man, I thought they was on the way.
Hold on.
Are you really taking a piss, or are you going to...
Come on, you want to come with me?
No.
I'm going to let you off my little monster.
Come on.
I see you with a straw.
I see you walking with a straw.
There you go.
Go take a wish I did.
I ain't going to lie.
I know.
You took my money I lost.
I ain't going to react to that.
I ain't going to react to that.
With me.
To take your shit.
Damn.
That nigga used to take your shit with me.
I wish I would have.
Yeah, you wish you didn't.
I wish I would have actually did that before.
See, I was a shooter.
I'm a different type of nigga.
Right.
I was a shooter, so I used to shoot the nigga.
Right.
So when I used to bring, I used to let him taste it.
I don't see no things in your heart.
Look at that.
Oh, not a shooter.
You talking about a shooter.
I'm talking about a shooter.
Yeah.
Yeah. Shooter. You're talking about a shooter. I'm talking about a shooter.
What's your favorite vein?
What's your favorite vein?
What?
What's your favorite vein?
Vein? I ain't... You said you was a shooter.
That's a different shooter.
I'm John Bond.
Come on.
I'm still a comedian.
All right, my turn.
I got colors. Come on.
I'm going to work on colors tomorrow. Let me take a piss. Release the dragon now. Go T.T. Oh, I'm sorry a comedian. I got colors, come on. I want to work on colors tomorrow.
Release the dragon now.
Go T.T.
I'm sorry, I didn't like barbs.
Get in the lead.
My car, my car.
That tiger's going to show way too strong.
We got about ten more minutes, Frank.
Look at that shit.
That girl is a real crap.
I know how to walk. This is a real some praise, man.
We can get them at Freddy Myers.
You know what I'm saying?
Freddy Myers right there.
This is at the flea market, man.
Did you?
Yeah, down south.
Oh, man.
Flea market, man.
He smiled.
Y'all niggas, man.
This is that shit right here, man.
Y'all should be shooting dice at it.
Y'all on 4-5-6?
That's 4-5-6 or something.
Who got some dice?
Somebody go to the liquor store and get some dice, man.
Cut you motherfucking young rich niggas out of 3-4,000 apiece.
That nigga loaded right there. The one with the beard and with the chains piece. That nigga loaded right there.
The one with the beard with the chains on.
That nigga loaded.
That nigga loaded right there, man.
I want to gamble with you, man.
What's the most you hit at a dice game?
What's the most I hit?
Yeah, the most you hit at a dice game.
30,000.
30,000 at one dice game?
God damn.
You heard that shit?
I beat Gerald LaVert.
I beat Gerald LaVert.
It's still recording?
Yeah.
Why are you ignoring?
I beat Gerald LaVert.
I got the back bathroom.
Yo, listen.
Let these niggas go crazy.
Hold on, hold on.
What this nigga saying?
You say you beat Gerald LaVert?
Hold on, hold on.
He said he won $30,000.
Shooting dice.
Shooting dice.
Wait, wait. What? Yep, I won $30,000. Shooting dice. Shooting dice. Wait, wait, what?
Yep, I won $30,000 off of Gerald LaVert and Keith Sweat one time.
Both of them?
No, I won $30,000 between the both of them.
Oh, shit.
Shooting dice.
How much you lost?
Oh, man, $100,000.
So it was a loss?
That motherfucking Charles Oakley beat me out of 40,000 one night
In the hotel room
I'm glad you gave it to him
Because he don't mind fighting
I know you would have kicked his ass
You would have went at him
Shot shit out of him
That's the only thing about
That's the only thing about being black
People don't understand how hard it is
To be a young
A young
A man In America We don't understand how hard it is to be right a young a man in america we don't know
how hard it is because we just live in it but when you're on the outside looking at us that live in
america this is a very hard place to live in bro you know what i hate about black folks too we don't know who you are
they say your real name and i'm gonna let you finish yeah last album is called And I'm going to let you finish The last album is called Filthy America
It's beautiful
Because they're actually
Bigging up everything
That's bad in America
And they're actually
Bigging up everything
That's good in America
So you just described that
So go ahead
Continue
I'm just saying
How when people walk up to me
And they'll say your wrong name
And they get offended
Because you tell them
That ain't my name
They're just like
Well you're the comedian
No I'm not
Black folks I don't get when They don't know name. They're like, well, you're the comedian. No, I'm not.
Black folks, I don't get when they don't know who you are instead of just asking who you are.
They don't know what it is to walk up and say you're wrong.
They call you another comedian's name?
Right. They didn't even get offended when you said that ain't my name.
You showed them your driver's license.
I don't give a fuck what they say about me.
They know who you are.
I'm dealing with it right now.
Not all the time.
Some people call me Omar Epps all the time.
Oh, shit. People are like, Omar oh my god i'm a classic man man. See, there you go.
He's trying to throw one in.
I did.
Hey, man, when they do Morgan Freeman's life story, I'm coming to get you.
Because you look just like Morgan Freeman.
It's all good, Nelson Mandela.
You look like a cross between
Morgan Freeman,
Jay-Z,
and Nate Campbell on the cigarette box.
It's all good Let me tell you, you look like a cross between
James Ingram
Nelson Mandela
Jadina and my Uber driver
You look like a cross between
A man and a pig
You a man.
A man. That's a good one.
That's a good one, Ron DMC.
With your lug boots in the background.
Russell, say call him.
Yeah, man. Shout out to Jay-Z.
I love Jay-Z.
That's the big humble.
That's the big M.O. Yeah, that's the big homie. Believe it.
That's the big homie.
Believe it.
Check him out.
But now, let me ask.
They doing a lot of great things at Tidal.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
A lot of music.
Behind the scenes.
We doing it.
But let me ask you a question.
Man, I forgot.
Sure.
He was into it.
He was mad, too.
I got it.
I got it. I got it. He was like, so let me was mad too I got it
So let me
Richard Pryor
What's up with that
Because you know
I thought about it this morning
I woke up in the morning and I said
Damn cause you know Richard Pryor
That's gotta be hard to play cause you gotta play
Cause that's not just
A comedic role.
That is a life role.
That's serious, yeah.
He was in love with a white woman
in the middle. Many white women.
But in the middle
of the niggerdom.
The niggerdom.
The niggerdom.
And he was still a nigger.
So he was like the first person to say
The race don't really matter
Like whoever love you love them back
Come on
And now you got that role
Yeah
Explain
Just explain that
Nobody ain't rolling up
Well
I mean you know
That's like You know what I mean By know That's like
That's like you know what I mean
By the way I'm sorry to cut you off and ask you a question
But there's no other person in the world
I wanted to play that role
I appreciate that man
Like I hands down was like
Mike
That is it
I love you for that, brother.
I appreciate that, man.
But explain how the process was of getting there.
Well, you know, I was out and about doing my thing,
and his wife reached out to me out of nowhere.
The white one.
Yeah.
That's my people. That's my pride. Yes, yes. Jennifer Pride. She reached out to me. Get the fuck out of nowhere. The white one. Yeah. Yes. That's my people.
That's my pride.
Yes.
Yes.
Jennifer Pryor.
She reached out to me
and said that they were
doing a film about
the old man
and come and
come see him.
She said,
come up to the house
and see him.
Oh, because he was still alive.
He was still alive.
Oh, shit.
It's been that long.
The movie's been
a while. Yeah. It's still alive. Oh, shit. It's been that long? The movie's been... Wow.
Yeah.
It's been a long road, man.
And it's been a lot of set ready and no goals, you know.
But it was a hell of a process, man, you know.
Champagne in the fridge.
I went to visit him, And uh It was amazing man
It was like
This is crib and cali
It was like if you had to go see
Africa Bambaataa
You know what I'm saying
That kind of shit
Cool Herc
That's real
You know
You had to go see Cool Herc.
Cool Herc.
Or Grandmaster Flash.
Yeah, if you was playing Cool Herc.
That's right.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes.
Stop.
That would be...
Don't make me laugh.
You know, I mean, no, for real.
Real shit.
Cool Herc.
Right, exactly.
An icon.
An icon.
That's how it felt to me as a comic to go see a grand wizard it was a wizard man it was like
I was going to see Yoda straight up you know what I mean like so now you walk in the crib
is he in a wheelchair this time he's in a wheelchair and he's got he's got multiple sclerosis
so that means he's still funny I heard i heard he's still funny nerve disorder you know
what i mean so he can't really talk or move or nothing because i didn't hear the only way he
could talk to you was through his eyes you know what i mean because he's got multiple sclerosis he
he can he feel how we feel but just imagine you feel how you feel right now. Right. Like, you feel you can talk and stuff, but you can't move.
Can't express it.
You can't express it.
Right.
Only through your eyes.
You know what I'm saying?
So when you say something to me, you like, you know what I mean?
You might blink his eyes.
Hope you know what the fuck I'm saying.
Yeah, I might blink my eyes or roll my eyes.
If I don't like something, I might just roll my eyes at you like, fuck that shit. You know what I mean?
I had to read that.
Some days I went up there,
I could tell he didn't want to be bothered.
He was looking at me like, nigga, bye.
You know what I mean?
Sometimes when I come in the door,
he'd just be looking at me like,
I like that.
So I'll be like
oh he ain't feeling it tonight and some days i made him laugh you know his wife said he ain't
laughed in years but the days that i came in the house and i tried to make him laugh
he wouldn't laugh how did you know if he was laughing was it when i wasn't trying to make
him laugh and i was just being myself. You know what I'm saying?
When I'm just being regular and I wasn't trying to make him laugh,
he was laughing.
Because the little maid walked through
because he had a maid wiping it
and she farted.
Only me and him heard it.
We sitting there together
and she said,
and when she said,
his eyes looked over at me
and I looked at him and I said damn I made Richard Pryde laugh. Let me pour you a drink. Come on, baby.
This is what you get.
Drink to that.
Drink to that.
Don't die on us, please.
Why haven't you went to the restroom?
Why haven't you went to the restroom?
You tanked him.
You got to do it.
You ain't take none of this shit, baby. Let me pour you.
Hey, if Richard Pryor was living He definitely
Would have been
A Noriega fan
Oh
Let's make some noise
For Mike
Yeah
Let's do it
And we'll play
Some more champagne
Hey
You know when you
Called me out
For that video
I was happy
To motherfucker
Nah but that's the thing
I was trying to ask
It was like
Let me tell you something
Yeah
You know
Who was it
Steve Carr
Steve Carr The actual Carr was the actual director
who filmed Next Friday.
And now
Def Jam, I finally
go platinum or do whatever.
So Def Jam tried to floor something.
They said, well, we're going to get you
the illest director
ever. So I said, well, who is that?
They said, Steve Carr.
I said, I don't know that nigga.
I don't know that nigga.
They said,
that's the nigga
that did Next Friday.
I said, I know Next Friday.
Yeah.
I said, for real?
He ill like that?
Tell him, bring Mike Adams.
I love you for that, man.
That's real.
And I bluffed up until the date.
And they said,
you got Mike Adams.
I said, what?
Because I'm like, you know, because I wanted to go with a different record at the time.
But when they said, I said, they got Mike Adams.
And I was like, because I wanted to film him for the week.
And he moved to L.A. and Chinatown or some shit.
No, we shot, that scene we shot was in Santa Monica.
Yeah, it was in Santa Monica.
It was dope, too.
And it also had Alex Thomas in there.
Alex Thomas.
I never knew Alex Thomas went on tour with N.W.A.
That motherfucker been around.
I ain't know that nigga 94 years old.
Yes, Alex Thomas.
T.K. Kirkland was in the N.W.A. video.
Them niggas is 99.
I just had a friend that was a guy who was one of Snoop's guys named Ricky Harris that died.
Played Tad Al.
God bless Tad Al.
Break a meal.
Rest in peace.
Rest in peace, Ricky Harris.
Tad Al.
He died just recently.
And I didn't know how much work he did.
Them niggas want some champagne?
Yeah, we might as well.
Let me ask you one question.
Who is the dude that hold your jewelry?
Who, me?
Yeah, I know.
I'm the nigga that hold no jewelry. Because you me? Yeah, I know I don't got no nigga
That hold no jewelry
Because you changed on me
You didn't have that jewelry
That chain on that fur
You went and switched up
No, you went and switched up
No, no, yesterday I had gold
No, you had on a bathtub stopper
You went and changed on me
A bathtub stopper
I respect that
I respect this man
I respect this man
What, are you from Queens?
I'm from Queens
Left Rock City
Left Rock City?
Left Rock City Come on, City? Left Rock City.
Damn.
Yes, sir.
I had a bitch over there.
Yeah, everybody got bitches
over there.
And I had another bitch
that worked at VIL.
VIL.
I have a hair in a VIL.
See, your whole life
was based on VIL, man.
That bitch lived in Co-op City.
Co-op, that's in Bronx.
That's in the Bronx. Yeah, she was up there off.I.M. She lived in Co-op City. That's in Bronx. She was up there off of
the Deacon.
I used to drive on the Deacon.
See, man, I'll tell you.
I was in New York.
I used to be around
Tracy Morgan and all them.
I started with all them dudes, but I wasn't from New York.
You know what I'm saying?
We always thought you was from New York Because you picked up the swag so good
Because that's how I'm a chameleon
That's what I do
When I'm in Rome I do what the Romans do
Because I'm an actor
See I learned that young when I was young
Because I ain't never been no tough looking motherfucker
So motherfuckers would try me
Because I was light skinned
I had curly hair and shit
I had the bitches laughing
So the ugly niggas
Going to whoop my ass
They was like
I'm going to get up on this nigga
But they didn't know
I had a lot of heart
So I pull out a cigarette
In front of them
I'll be nine years old
I'll pull a cigarette out
And start smoking it
So the toughest nigga
Be looking at me like
That's a bad nigga
That nigga smoking cigarettes
Nigga, you know what I mean?
I'll be be choking in there You know what I'm saying
But that's been my thing man
You know what I mean
And if a motherfucker
See I tell
I tell every motherfucker
You going to Indianapolis
When you go through
That motherfucker
Ask the niggas about me
They gonna tell you the truth That's what you do to a nigga You go niggas about me They gonna tell you the truth
That's what you do to a nigga
You go to his hometown
And they gonna tell on your motherfucking ass
I dare that nigga to go back and check my shit
They gonna tell you about me
And be trying to get in your pocket too
God damn it
And listen let me just
That's how I became who I am
Cracking jokes
Tell them about how you became who you are
I'm an unsuccessful thug
What happened
That's honest
That shit did
I tried to be a gangster
You know what you gotta be born with that
You got to be Really really a Heartless motherfucker to be a gangster. No, you know what? You got to be born with that. You got to be really, really
a heartless motherfucker
to be a gangster.
You see what I'm saying?
Right, right.
And once I got in it,
I realized that.
I said, oh, man,
my mother raised me too nice.
Right.
Because I went on a robbery
with a nigga one time
and we went under dominoes
and robbed it.
No, it was a...
Pizza Hut.
No, it wasn't a Pizza Hut.
It was a...
What was it called?
Nova Romans.
He never heard of it.
Yeah, it was a pizza place
called Nova Romans
and we went under robbery
and the dude was robbing
this nigga named Antoine.
He was robbing the bitch
and after he got the money,
he smacked the bitch
with the gun.
And I said,
what you do that for? Right in front of the lady. And he got mad money, he smacked the bitch with the gun. And I said, what you do that for?
Right in front of the lady.
And he got mad.
He's like, nigga, don't ask me that question.
Fucking robbery, nigga.
You gotta fucking get emotional, nigga.
So you caught, you catch a business at the robbery.
I caught business at the robbery.
I wasn't a good criminal
So I went on a robbery one time
We robbed this nigga named Sean
Sean Kimbrough
How you know Studebraw's name?
Sean, yeah, the whole name
First and last name
We got on ski masks
And while we robbing the nigga
I'm saying my buddy's name
I'm saying, push him over there, Ray Bob.
And my buddy just stopped and looked at me.
So I can't see his face.
All I can see is his eyes and his mouth.
He looking at me going like this.
Because I'm saying the nigga's name.
After we got the nigga in the truck,
the nigga snatched the mask off and said,
you said my name about five motherfucking times.
One time I got robbed.
Some niggas put me in the trunk.
Wait, you got robbed?
I got robbed.
Imagine that.
Some niggas put me in the trunk.
I'm in the trunk.
Ain't nothing but dirty clothes back there.
It's like gas.
I swear to God, I'm scaring them up.
So I'm scared.
I'm like, boy, these niggas, I swear, I'm praying.
I hope these niggas don't.
I didn't pray to everybody.
Jehovah Buddha.
I got about nine different prayers I done did.
When the niggas stopped at the stop sign and they cut the music down,
this is how I know I'm a comedian
and it saved my life.
I beat on the seat, I was like...
And the niggas said, what?
I said, play that again.
Oh, you're a jam, man.
That was that jam right there.
He want to hear it twice.
You're a fool.
Man, you're ignorant. It was that DJ Quick, Black Pussy.
Damn.
He and Dwight.
Shit, you're writing me a hangover. The movie that he's in it too. and Dwight. She running me a hangover.
The movie that he's in it too.
Yeah.
And you're in a movie hangover.
How was that?
Man, you know what?
That movie right there, nobody knew that they was going to be superstars.
I can remember being on the set.
Nobody knew who Zach was.
Nobody knew.
Nobody knew who them guys was.
And they were just shooting a movie and having fun.
And just, you know, it was just like some white kids shooting a movie after school.
And when that movie came out, it blew up.
Made everybody a star.
When they came back to do Hangover 3, number 2, everybody lost their bellies, had new cars,
had Gucci
Bluffers on
You know what I mean
You know when motherfucker
Gets some money
He come back new
Everybody came back new
But it was cool
You know I played
The black guy in the movie
You sold them the drugs
That actually got them
Fucked up
Is there
Is there a bottle there
What are you looking for I'm like You popped into the bottle I took like a B to B On this show We actually got them fucked up. Is there a bottle there?
What are you looking for?
I'm like, we popped into the bottle.
I took a time to be on this show, man.
What time is it, man?
It's 10.30.
God damn it, you already fucked up.
Wherever you was going, you already fucked up. How long does this show last?
Y'all got a time limit.
Y'all having this?
We don't edit shit.
Y'all?
We just be wilding the fuck out.
Hey, this is a great show, man.
They couldn't have picked no better nigga because your energy is crazy.
You know why, Mike?
People, sometimes,
they sit back and they say,
you know, this nigga's cheating because he knew these niggas.
But if that's a real nigga cheat code,
for me to be a real nigga like me and you,
been cool forever.
How can you cheat that?
So if that's what they want to call cheating, then fuck, for me being a real nigga for 20 years
and holding relationships and fucking with niggas
that I want to fuck with, then fuck it.
Then I've been cheating forever.
Make some noise.
Keep cheating.
Yeah.
Big up to New York.
Trying to get your motherfucking money, man.
Because I'm a real nigga.
And now listen.
So now, this tour, your next stop is where on this tour?
This next stop is where?
Little Rock, Arkansas.
Little Rock, Arkansas.
Well, they got a lot of fake gangsters that was on HBO.
No, no.
Don't say.
Don't listen.
I was there.
No, them niggas are killing you out there.
There's a few of them.
Don't say they fake.
No, I was out there.
I've been to Little Rock.
Now, Little Rock, they be banging you.
They all banging, but some of those guys are watching cars.
They was not kills.
I saw the show.
When I was out there, I was like, where this guy at?
He live in his mom's house.
Where this guy at?
Where he going off of what he seen on TV?
Yeah, I know.
I was there live.
I've been there live.
They banging at Little Rock.
I'm going to say Little Rock is for real.
Yeah, but a lot of those guys are not who you thought they were.
Maybe on a documentary, but I'm telling you, Little Rock in general is a real place.
I respect Little Rock.
I love Little Rock.
Every city, every little guy got real motherfuckers, man.
They got to do what they used to do.
Every city do.
Yes, they do.
Every city got bra-bra's in it, you know what I mean?
And that's the thing.
That's what we have to do.
We have to learn that as a community, as black people, as Spanish people, that we are really, really, really showing off for each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, and the reality of it is most of the brothers that's in the federal prison, a lot of them are in there because they were competing with another black man in the community.
Because they wasn't even doing it for the women.
It passed the women.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
But they start competing with each other and end up catching,
oh, I'm going to catch more bodies than you.
I'm going to catch more cases than you.
Yeah, some macho shit. Now, you know, it don't hit you until you're 70 years old in the federal prison, man.
You know what I mean?
And you got deceased on your out date.
Horrible.
Ain't no motherfucking out date, nigga.
You got deceased on that motherfucker.
Now it's just, you know, I got buddies that got deceased on their out date.
And they be singing church songs on the phone to me and everything.
Mike, I want to sing a song to you
I said okay come on let's do it
He said dear lord I love you
You know what I'm saying
But hey
It goes down
You know what I mean
You fucking right
But it be spiritual
And you don't know
It make chill bumps go
Got life without
Got life without parole
Be on the phone with you
And be talking to you
And say Mike
I want to sing a song to you
I said come on
Go ahead and sing it
He said
Dear Lord
I love you
And I'm talking about
Chill bumps
Going up on my arm
Because I'm like
This man will never
See the street again
Right right
You know what I mean
So
I be
I be wanting to stress To the kids again. You know what I mean? I'll be wanting to stress to the
kids, man, that
you're doing this for Instagram
and you're doing this to show off
and shit like that, but you better save
yourself because
everybody told you, you know, life is
short, but they never told you
you got to prepare for the future
because you fuck around and live
80 years old
And say damn if I didn't know
That I was gonna live this far
I'd have worked like a motherfucker
I ain't got no social security coming in
No kind of way
You know what I'm saying
And you better make a good relationship
With your kids and all them youngsters
Cause you gonna need somebody to wipe your ass
When you get old
You be surprised at want to put you
in the nursing home.
You sitting around
and one of your kids
be like,
send his ass to the nurse.
You can't even talk.
You old,
you look little.
I'm like,
what the hell?
You said,
I saw you come out
of the nursing home
on the day I started.
Pop, pop, pop.
I'm a big fan,
so I'm sorry.
I'm a big fan of yours,
man.
Yo, yo.
Nuri,
I've been watching you for years. I fuck with you, bro. I love your shirt,, so I'm sorry. I'm a big fan of yours, man. Yo, yo. Nuri.
Yeah.
I've been watching you for years.
I fuck with you, bro.
I love your shirt, too.
I appreciate it.
I don't know why he tried to miss his shirt.
You got all the Cirocs, but you're missing one.
You want to do another shot? You're missing the black Cirocs.
We could do...
There ain't no black Cirocs.
I'm making the black Cirocs.
No, they got a picture of Biggie Smalls' ass on the box.
You don't have that one, so I'm just letting you know.
You're missing that one.
Where did you get that hospital shirt at? The same place you got that goddamn
I'm a classic, man. Where'd you get that shirt from? Your shirt looks like it needs some
lotion on it. It looks ashy. You have cocoa butter, Nori. Can we get cocoa butter on that, Nori? We need cocoa butter, Nori. Henry, why does your lip look like prunes?
Because your auntie kissed me.
Henry, I would have been your daddy, but I ain't have change for a five.
Well, you know, I know your mama, she put a pussy on her hip, so she's going to make money on the side.
Henry, your lips are so big
you can whisper in your own ear.
You know, you ain't have
the man your mama was.
Henry.
Mm-hmm.
Greyhound is looking for you.
They said...
He didn't have to say no more.
They said you jumped off
the side of the bus.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, hold on.
Cee-lo?
Cee-lo?
Okay, Cee-lo, I didn't want to make you.
Bad to you, Jadina.
Henry, what you think about Orlando Brown?
What you think about the little brother Orlando Brown?
Because I'll be watching all these little dudes right here.
Yeah, I think he's hilarious.
Because I think y'all slipped him a molly or something.
I don't know what happened to him.
Yeah, he got high.
Yeah, he got high.
I think he slipped his own something, Molly.
Some folks like he put something in his drink.
Now, he put it in the drink.
Didn't nobody else do it.
Yeah, I think he got high wrong.
What about Soulja Boy?
I saw him working out.
They was playing, let's get physical.
Physical.
I want to get physical.
I was in G.
That nigga Soulja Boy is hilarious, man.
Oh, he's a fool.
He's a gangster.
He's an alcopole On Instagram
On Instagram
I love him
And the most
Richest dude
On Instagram
Is Black Youngster
Black Youngster
Nobody got more money
Than Black Youngster
Fuck this money
Fuck this money
Right
Fuck this money
He went to the
Wells Fargo
Drawed out
250,000 dollars
And he blew up
Ever since after that
Yeah
Cause it was I don't know Where he blew up everything after that. Yeah,
because I don't know
where he get the money from
but it was like
your guy said
go ahead and get it.
I got you.
Well,
I can tell you
this motherfucking much.
Okay,
James Ingram.
This thing called me
James Ingram.
I gave my best.
Do you know what's crazy?
What?
These dudes
don't even know
who that is.
Oh,
Norrie do.
Norrie went to high school
without a job.
But not even he laughed. He ain't got to laugh. These dudes don't even know who that is. Oh, Norrie do. Norrie went to high school without a chalk.
He laughed.
He ain't got to laugh.
You don't got on that fake-ass run, DMC, had on?
Can you get Jam out to jail?
Rest in peace, Jam out to jail.
Can you goddamn get Russ on the phone?
We're going to put the group back together.
Hey, Henry.
If you don't take that Boys and Girls Club
The social worker
for Boys and Girls Club
shirt off.
This nigga do special services.
Child services.
This nigga work at child services, man.
Mr. D-Fax himself
talking shit. You know I got a black EBT card.
The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network.
Hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores, and brought to
you by Velvet Buck. This podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode, I'll be
diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation
by guests such as Western historian, Dr. Randall Williams, best-selling author and meat-eater founder
Stephen Ranella. I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here
and I'll say it seems like the ice age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves.
So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to
understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience
the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I know a lot of cops, and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun?
Sometimes the answer is yes.
But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no.
Across the country, cops called this taser the revolution.
But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.
Cops believed everything that taser told them.
From Lava for Good and the team that brought you Bone Valley
comes a story about what happened
when a multi-billion dollar company
dedicated itself to one visionary mission.
This is Absolute Season 1.
Taser Incorporated.
I get right back there and it's bad.
It's really, really, really bad.
Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Binge episodes 1, 2, and 3 on May 21st, and episodes 4, 5, and 6 on June 4th.
Add free at Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Do you remember who Granddaddy IU was?
That's my favorite rapper ever.
You swear?
I knew a girl named Kenya from West Virginia.
Boy, I love to stick some men up.
The girl that I was buying.
The girl that I was buying.
That's my favorite rapper of all time.
I represent.
I know.
Okay, let me drop another one on you right here
What about
What about Joski Love
I don't really know him
See what I'm saying
Break it down for us
Joski Love that's a New York rapper right there
Joski Love what about
What about
Tila Rock?
Yeah.
From the Bronx.
I definitely got lost right there.
Yeah, but you knew that Tila Rock.
Okay.
What about that
straight out of
motherfucking
Freddie Fox?
Bumpy Knuckles.
Bumpy Knuckles.
You know what I'm saying?
That's OG shit right there.
Everybody don't know about that OG shit.
Nah, he's the truth.
That's the truth right there.
See, I ain't going to say, because everybody expecting me to say something about Houdini and all them.
Yeah, why not?
Nah.
He said nah.
No, you got to talk about the dudes who do some new school
shit some new school shit any region oh yeah that nigga I like that nigga can't
sit on it? Yeah, that's the name
of the song.
That's all he knows.
That's Khaled's artist.
You know you owe me
on that other song.
You can't play that shit?
Dang, God.
Oh, that shit's hard.
Don't let go, Mova.
That's that shit?
Yeah, that nigga's hard.
That's Khaled's artist, right?
Yeah, for sure.
I like him,
and I like...
Who you like?
I like that young nigga.
I like Kodak Black.
Big soldier from the hood?
Do I like little soldier boy?
Nah, man. Soldier boy, I tried
to DM him and he wouldn't
talk to me back. I was trying to tell him,
man, stop playing
for somebody to fuck around with or you'll get killed.
Yeah, relax. What happens is
it be the dudes that surround
that. It's from the hood for real.
They get involved in it.
The extra dudes.
No, yeah, the dudes that really do it.
They be in it.
And now you got them niggas that once them niggas go...
You got them mad.
Yeah, now once them niggas go, now you bullshitting.
But if Soulja Boy was a real nigga, he'd be dead.
That's how the streets work.
A real nigga get up on a nigga
that he know that ain't that
and be like, nigga,
you better get your bitch ass out of here.
If you a real nigga, you got to go.
That's how Pac was.
He was a real nigga.
Yeah, I'm going to be honest.
See what I'm saying?
They ain't going to get up on you. That's how that shit is. That's some Pac was. He was a real nigga. I'm going to be honest. They ain't going to get up on you.
That's how that shit is.
That's some real shit.
You know who our most invited guest is?
Who?
Tupac.
Still.
To this day.
You're going to get Tupac.
In Cuba.
Go get him in Cuba.
For real?
Yeah.
That nigga was...
Yo, Mike.
You was in California Love, right? No, no, no. Yo, Mike. Yo, Mike. You very, you was in California a lot,
baby, right? No, no, no, no, no.
I thought, no, that was Chris Tucker.
Chris Tucker.
But I, listen.
I feel like you deeply rooted in
California roots. Is Pac in Cuba?
Man.
The nigga's
spirit. The nigga's spirit was so strong.
You believe he's alive.
His spirit was stronger than his flesh.
Wow.
See what I'm saying?
So that's real shit.
The flesh ain't shit.
His spirit was so strong that you ain't got to see
him. You don't
have to see him physically. He's still
alive for sure. I swear, when you
look at that nigga and you listen to his music
sometimes, he
feel like he's still running around. He's prophetic.
It look like he's standing there with
Young Thug.
See what I'm saying? It don't look like
he ever left. It's still relevant. Do me a favor. Don't put him with Young Thug. See what I'm saying? It don't look like he ever left.
It's still relevant.
Don't put him with Young Thug.
Just let's put him with somebody else.
I'm just saying.
That's a good one, but not.
He's going to switch.
You got all kind of first.
We too old
to be involved with these young
rappers' careers. I'm not involved. I just know the songs.
I live in Atlanta. I'm like a street A&R.
You are.
Right.
I'm like a Hustle Simmons type dude on the streets.
And tell us who...
Hustle Simmons?
Who have you broke in the business?
We have Break Future.
We broke Trouble Trouble.
We broke Lil' Hot, Rest in Peace.
I can name a bunch of people we broke.
You know, I'm on the Outkast CDs.
I got a real body of work.
That's why I messed...
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Henry Welch is in
Atlanta. Henry Welch is loved
by the strippers. Yeah, I work in the
strip club. He know all the street niggas.
Magic City's at home. I work at all the street.
I like to shoot all the street niggas.
If you go to Atlanta and I be standing
with Henry and it be a nigga there, I say,
Henry, who's that nigga right there?
Henry said, oh, that's...
He getting money like that. And he got shooters
too. He know all the info.
Now, I knew that.
I just know what's going on. I like, we was in
Harlingen, Texas. So we hanging out.
We walking down the streets. You know, Mike Epps is an international
superstar. So all of a sudden we see this dude
named Red Dread. Mike Epps,
what the hell is he doing down here?
He said, get some weed from him and get him away from us.
But he didn't know, like, this is the plug.
This is the guy.
He's from Atlanta, but he was in Harlingen, Texas.
We damn near Mexico.
He was under the bottom of that water.
Well, I didn't know what he was involved in.
I know, but yeah.
You see, a lot of times.
But by you being a criminal, it didn't matter.
But let me tell you something.
A lot of times, a nigga will catch a case and won't tell you.
Yeah, but I knew what was going on.
You don't know that, Henry.
I told you about trusting a nigga.
I'm a genius.
I told you that.
Check my resume.
This conversation is being recorded, guys.
Yeah, but I'm still a genius.
Because me and him, we, me and him selling ounces, man.
We selling ounces in Atlanta together.
Yeah, I got two, three, five I need to get rid of right now
I send him three ounces a week
And he sell them
Yeah
That's how I get paid
That's how I get paid for my comedy show
I'm sending him three ounces of kush in the mail
And he's selling
He's selling nicks and dimes
You're out of the seat
One day I'm over his house
And a lady came and copped some weed from him
This bitch had laundry and kids in the car.
It was about six kids in the back seat.
I love her.
She's good to you.
Food stamps and everything.
I love her.
See, that's what I like about real life.
I like anybody who can live with, who can live with, live with themselves no matter what.
I tell humans all the time, that's, that's one of the things that control your destination in your life.
You know what I mean?
Your health and everything is, is about how you feel about how another motherfucker feel about you.
That's what Instagram is about is how does another motherfucker feel about you. That's what Instagram is about,
is how does another motherfucker feel about you.
You know what I'm saying?
Because people say some foul shit on Instagram to you.
Oh, they'll fuck you up.
You know, you be in a good mood and you post a picture,
and sometimes they tell you some shit you don't want to hear,
but you needed to hear.
Sometimes I'll be reading my comments,
and a motherfucker say some shit
and I'll be like, man, I want to
cuss this nigga out, but damn, that nigga did
say some real shit.
I respect that.
You know what I'm saying?
You ain't got ten motherfuckers that told you
oh man, you swagged out, you looking
cool, you playing. And then a nigga
get on there and say, nigga, you old
Mike, you washed up.
You need to get your life together.
I be like, I be wanting to say something back bad to the nigga.
I say, I can't say nothing to this nigga.
I don't even know who the fuck this nigga is.
With a shirt like that, though,
you like you work at the laundromat.
So that's what that's about.
Get the fuck out of here, Henry.
Your hairline, in a minute,
you gonna have to start washing your face way up here.
You salute like this.
So you can't hold it. It don't look like your hand is on there now.
My guess with the real is, though, there's one thing I got to respect.
I've been around his whole family and everything.
So what you see with him ain't nothing fake.
And I swear to God, I'm just as scared as everybody else.
Because that's all it is, a bunch of scared.
The whole world is scared.
That's why they act in the way they act.
Everybody's scared. I'm telling
you some real shit. So if you see a motherfucker
go on Instagram and start trying to do
some crazy shit to get some attention, something
that scared him in his own thoughts.
And they... Whether
it's I'm scared or somebody ain't gonna pay
attention to me or nothing.
But you just have to learn how to enjoy your own life inside of your life.
And all the attention that you want, it's just going to come to you automatically.
Because that's how attention is.
If you notice that attention is paying attention to you, attention won't pay attention to you no more.
That was a nod.
That was deep. Come on. I don't know what he did. attention to you no more I was not taught twice. Hey, man, you're talking to a nigga to get attention, man.
I'm like, nah.
You told me I would never.
I lost you, didn't I? I was a genius.
That was deep as a motherfucker.
Deeper than deep.
No, that's real shit.
I tell you, man, because I tell my daughters, because I got teenage daughters, and I tell
them all the time, I say, stop looking to see if you lose and wait
Because your body is know that your body be like all this bitch thinks he's doing something Damn, all that shit I did, it ain't worth no money. Sure ain't.
Because it's just got to be a lifestyle.
With anything you do,
you can't pay attention to it.
It's got to be something you just do.
Like you scratch your face.
You know what I'm saying?
Consistency.
You just do it. And the results come from that.
Because everybody that's trying to do something, they monitoring it the whole time they doing it.
I'm going to monitor everything.
That's like posting a picture and looking at the fucking comments.
You can't look at the fucking comments.
You just got to post a picture.
And if the numbers ain't right or people liking it, erase it.
That's just bad. That makes sense. That's just bad. That makes sense. I don't like what's going on. liking it erased it and these youngsters too and a lot of them a lot of the
youngsters out there they are not acknowledging God. They don't know that the strength,
the real strength in everything that you do is God.
There's a few other guys, Kevin Gates,
a couple of them dudes like that,
you can tell they God-fearing.
Because if a nigga don't fear that there's a bigger spirit than him,
he gonna destruct, man.
You know what I'm saying?
If a young nigga out there,
if a nigga got choppers and all that shit and showing them and all that shit, guess what?
We know you bipolar.
The next time I see you on Instagram, I want you on there talking about God.
Repent, nigga.
You just showed us all this motherfucker $25,000 worth of guns and shit on Instagram.
Repent on Instagram, too.
Let's give us a whole story of who you are.
That guess what?
Not only do you think you're invincible,
that guess what?
You know that there's something greater than yourself, nigga.
That's right.
On this planet.
That's a strength right there.
And it took me a long time to understand that being a good person and a nice person is a real strength.
That not being evil, that's the scared motherfucker.
All these little young rappers, they're scared.
So if I'm scared of you, I'm going to try to scare you off by showing you what I do.
Come on, man.
You ain't supposed to show that shit.
Definitely not supposed to show that shit.
That shit look like they got fake guns.
Them guns don't look real on there.
But they are.
Yeah, they're real.
But the reason why they look like they fake guns is because it's fake kids with the guns.
Right.
It look like they toys.
And the little niggas,
you know,
they shoot motherfuckers up
and shit.
And then they in the prison
crying at three in the morning.
You hear them in there?
All day,
little nigga been running
around there talking about,
I like prison food
and talking shit.
And then later on that night,
they be crying.
You come down there and,
man, what's going on, man? Oh, i don't know what i don't know what to do
then you didn't kill five people on the street man it's over with
you know what to do yeah you might as well goddamn it settle in like you know i'm saying
you might as well yeah you might as well go on and settle in man and just be an inspiration
to some other
little young dude
that come in here
until your time is up
you know what I mean
that's your job now
but they don't understand
you see Gucci man
I love Gucci man
that nigga went in there
changed his life
and yup
and whatever happened
it made him
I had a buddy
that was in Florida
that was in prison with him
he said man I said what Gucci man doing he said man walking around with a Bible in his hand made him... I had a buddy that was in Florida that was in prison with him. He said, man...
I said, what Gucci man doing? He said, man,
walking around with a Bible in his hand.
Because that's how real it is.
Wow. And then we entertainers,
we can't be sitting up, laying
up in a penitentiary with a motherfucker
that's hungry, that then killed
everybody in the world, and you in there
trying to convince him that you a good
nigga and he looking at you like a steak.
Like man, what you doing
in here with me?
You crazy and a motherfucker.
Me and T.I. talk all the time.
I have to tell him, man, hey man,
they trying to trick us, man. They already tricked
you a couple times.
Yeah, they tricked you.
Them niggas will have your ass out here
ready to kill something, and then
you have to lay up in the penitentiary.
I had to fight it every day, and I'm 40-something
years old. People walk up to me and say
and do... A nigga walked up to me at the
Walgreens the other day and just
put his hand on my neck like that and said,
Day-Day!
And I said, man, what you doing? He said, what?
He said, what? You got a problem with it? I said, Day-Day. And I said, man, what you doing? He said, what? He said, what?
You got a problem with it?
I said, man, I swear to God.
I said, man, why?
Come on, man.
What would I do to you?
He said, nigga, I'm just a fan.
But see, that's the shit that don't nobody see me deal with.
You see what I'm saying?
Right.
I could have went on a wrestle with him and sneaked that knife out of my pocket and stabbed him to death.
But I didn't even want to do none of that.
I'm trying to talk my way out of that motherfucker, man, because it's that easy to get fucked up out here.
I'm going to start preaching when I get done with this comedy shit.
I can get a church full of old people to get that money.
Them old people like me.
You asked for that money. Them old people like me Them old people like me
Noy, let's get a church together
Me and you and DMX
DMX?
DMX, that nigga
That nigga ain't gonna show up, though
But wait, but he do
If he show up, he gonna show up
That nigga gonna show up
Cause that, see, that's another nigga. That nigga
right there, that
nigga is anointed.
He's anointed.
ODB was anointed.
It was a bunch of people
that was anointed, man.
You know.
Blessed from God. When you say anointed,
you talking about blessed.
Super blessed. Ain't supposed to be here. No kind anointed, you talking about blessed. Super blessed.
Ain't supposed to be here
in no kind of way, form, or fashion.
And you see innocent
people die every
day. And a motherfucker
that's rotten,
like myself and many more, live
to 80 to 90 years old.
For a reason. And you be sitting there saying,
why did this nigga die?
I want to die. You won't die old.
I'm going to die a bad nigga. All this shit you did
when you was a kid. Yeah, I'm a bad nigga.
You're going to be a great preacher in the movie.
I'm going to get it back to you.
Yeah, your spirit.
I'm a great spirit.
You're a great spirit. When's your birthday?
September 6th.
You a fucking Virgo.
You a real nigga. That's Michael Jackson? September 6th. You a fucking Virgo. You a real nigga.
That's Michael Jackson.
That's Prince.
That's Beyonce.
That's Will Smith.
Nah.
You a real nigga.
Virgo, Virgo.
Come on, make some noise for Virgo.
I never heard that.
Make your ass broken down.
I'm a motherfucking Scorpio.
So you either going to like me or you not.
That's October?
Sagittarius.
What's this shit?
November. You Scorpio too?
Okay, okay.
Relax.
He said relax.
I'm ready for the Geminis over here.
My mother's a Gemini.
My mother's a Gemini.
Sagittarius is good people a Gemini, so you good people.
Yeah, no,
sectarian's good people
with Gemini.
Gemini, Scorpios,
you know what I'm saying?
Them is strong spirits
right there, man.
All of the spirits,
all of the things.
We just got to all
just love each other, man.
Right.
And this show right here,
this is what you call
a therapeutic show.
Yeah.
That's what I've been
going for
This show right here
This show right here
Has the ability to win
Grammys and Emmys
Because this is the
Direct opposite of what Dr. Phil
Is doing
But see that's what I'm saying
But see what I'm saying You are nigga Dr. Phil is doing. You don't fuck with him. But see, but that's what I'm saying.
But see what I'm saying?
You are a nigga, Dr. Phil.
You a nigga, Dr. Phil.
I'm a nigga, Dr. Phil.
And guess what?
Continue, Mike.
That's what niggas tell the truth You're getting me hyped right now.
I'm in check.
I'm getting the Holy Ghost,
God damn it.
Do that, do that, do that, do that.
Get the Holy Ghost, God damn it.
Keep going, Mike.
Just keep reaching.
Please.
Your wife, you are scared of your wife.
I'm definitely scared of my wife.
Don't point at me.
Point at your wife.
That's between us.
You are scared of your wife.
I'm scared of my wife.
I love my wife.
That's how you're supposed to be.
That's going to keep you out of everything.
Everything.
High five.
God damn it. You know what I'm saying?
Barack wasn't shit without Michelle.
Yeah, Michelle kept it.
She's the truth.
Rigidalia.
Yeah, she kept it rigidalia.
See, that's that maturity right there.
When a nigga start acknowledging all parts of everything around you.
That's right.
And get out of the pimp mentality.
That's right, because you was a pimp at one time.
I tried.
And again, if you wasn't born with it, you can't pull it off.
I tried to pimp some bitches.
I had some bitches at a little hotel.
I had my cousin and this other little fat white bitch from Kokomo, Indiana.
And I slapped my cousin and she slapped me back.
Don't ever hit me back like that.
And I said, I'm the pimp.
I ended up owing both them bitches some money.
Man, you a fool, man.
You can tell if you're first pimping, right? None of them bitches had receipts and all kinds of shit on me.
I said, I quit, bitch.
I don't want to do this shit.
That fucked me up.
I was going to fuck him up.
Hey, man, when I first moved to New York, man, that shit fucked me up, man.
I swear.
I got off the bus at Port Authority.
First time I've been to New York, I got off the bus at Port Authority. First time I've been in New York, I got off the bus at Port Authority.
It was in 1991.
And I didn't know nobody.
I had
a manager. He was a Jewish manager
named Dave Klayman.
He came, T.K. Kirkland
hooked me up with Dave Klayman. That was his manager.
I went up there
to meet Dave. He said, Dave was with the Jewish
Mafia. I went up there. Dave looked like little said, Dave was with the Jewish Mafia. I went up there.
Dave looked like little Danny DeVito.
He was that size.
I said, this ain't no motherfucking Jewish Mafia, man.
But I'll never forget, man.
I'm in New York, and I went in the club, and I seen Tracy Morgan, and I seen Dave Chappelle.
I seen, from my eyes, coming from Indiana, and I seen from my eyes coming from Indiana
and I seen all of these niggas on TV.
It was a different thing for me
because
I was a nigga coming from my hometown
and what I was going off of
was people around me
telling me that I was funny.
These was niggas who was really in the business.
Funny around the girl. And funny to you. They was funny. These was niggas who was really in the business. Funny around the girl.
And funny to you.
They was funny. But that moment
that I had to come around these niggas and say
guess what?
I don't even know if I'm really funny
right now.
Man, when I got on the stage, I was different.
That's what made me different
from everybody in New York. Because everybody in New York
would go on stage and talk about Jamaicans and Subways and Puerto Ricans and Dominicans with no socks on.
They was all the same.
I would go up on the stage and talk about that country shit.
And it made me different in New York.
But, boy, I'm telling you, I had to fight all the time.
You know what I mean?
Because they was, as soon as the motherfucker found out I wasn't from New York, they was trying me.
I used to be in the tunnel.
You know what I'm saying?
I used to go to the tunnel and all that shit.
I'd have been the S.O.'s, man, with Maria Davis.
Yeah, I've been there.
S.O.'s on a Wednesday night.
Yeah, motherfucking nails.
I used to go to nails on Tuesday night
No no Tuesday night
I used to go to
Oh man I used to go to
God damn it Chads and Wilsons
Honeysuckles West
I never heard of that one
That was like on 70 something
In Broadway
China Club
China Club
What they call That's also the Chinese nigga on 70-something Broadway. China Club. China Club.
That's what they call the X-Files.
That's also the Chinese nigga.
That's the Mr. Liga.
That's the Dominican
Chinese nigga.
Man, I'm telling you,
we don't...
Shadows.
Remember Club Shadows?
Club Shadows.
Live remote.
That's still popping right now.
Shadows.
That's the old nigga.
Club Shadows.
We got a live remote.
Be honest.
That's the old nigga of Palace right now. Come on, man. That's our old nigga Club Shadows We got a lot of them On the POS That's the old
Nigga palace
Right now
Come on
That's our shit
Right there
Club Shadows
The worst thing
You can see a nigga do
Is the nigga
Deny his
His
Age
I don't give a fuck
About a nigga
Trying to be a young nigga
Okay
I want to fit in
With the young niggas
But nigga
Don't diss you
Don't diss you
Feel good about your own age
Nigga you know You came from Slick Rick and all that nigga
Them is your best concerts
Right right right
Exactly tell them
You go to one of them motherfuckin' concerts
They got Slick Rick
Fucking
Dougie Fresh
Big Daddy Kane
Rock Kim
Man
Them motherfuckin' shows is off the hook
They actually coded in the young shows
You don't know what you're going to get in the young show.
So now let me ask you this.
Fight.
Indiana is not considered the East Coast.
That's the Midwest.
Midwest.
So now.
We Chicago's little brother.
We can get to Chicago in an hour and a half.
Exactly.
So now you get these roles.
Yeah. can get to Chicago in an hour and a half. Exactly. So now, you get these roles. So now, what
happens after that?
When you go back to
your hometown?
Are these people
proud of you or are they saying,
They was.
They was?
What happened?
I fucked around and let them,
they fucked around and re-got acquainted with me.
You know what I mean?
That's how it is.
I tell kids all the time,
you leave your hometown,
you stay the fuck away from that motherfucker.
Come back trying to be Robin Hood It's cool you know what I mean
In the bible it say no man is of honor
In his own hometown
So it's hard in hometown for me
I go back to hometown
It's tough
You got people who know you
You know what I'm saying
And they can't accept that you actually grew
No they can't And they can't accept that you actually grew. No.
They can't. And you can't give
them enough. You can
give them everything that you have.
It's never enough. And it's never enough
because what they want from
you, you can't give them.
Come back. Yeah, come back.
There's always somebody left out too. Come back and be with me, motherfucker.
Be her. Be with me. So yeah,
you as an artist, you always feel guilty about having fame and success and money.
And doing good for yourself because somebody else can't have it.
But I tell people all the time, you take that up with God.
Because I can't make you rich or happy.
And whatever's for me is for me.
It's going in my motherfucking pocket. God damn it. And if I can give it to you, I will And whatever's for me is for me. It's going in my motherfucking pocket.
Goddamn.
And if I can give it to you, I will.
Let's make some noise for Mike.
It's me.
So now, I know I got to sing you out because TC is my man.
By the way, Nashawn, TC.
Nashawn, TC, Brooklyn.
All your peoples that's with you here, I want to salute them.
But you about to take on this Richard Pryor role.
Yeah.
Is this the most complicated role you ever had?
Not really.
You just felt like you got it?
You guys haven't started shooting at all?
No, man, because Lee Daniels is the director,
and he is really successful.
That's the nigga that shot Empire.
Wow.
And he's got the new show, Stars.
Make sure y'all go watch Stars, Empire.
You know what I mean?
Lee Daniels is an incredible director
who's in charge of the script,
in charge of the movie.
So when he gets ready to shoot it, I'm going to be ready to shoot it.
Until then, I'm in a new movie with Bruce Willis called Death Wish.
It's an old trilogy of some Charles Bronson movies called Death Wish.
Bruce Willis is playing Charles Bronson
and I'm playing a doctor in the movie.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I'm playing a doctor in the
movie. I done played a lot of characters.
I done played props. Do you get high as a doctor
or no? No, I don't get high as a doctor.
Respect that. Let's make some noise.
I don't get high as a doctor.
Because there's a business side to me too
As well as an artist side
And a fool side
That I have to maintain
And like I said I produce
Meet the Blacks
The movie Meet the Blacks
We put it together
And we had a lot of great artists in it
You know what I mean
Mike Tyson
Charlie Murphy A lot of great artists in it. You know what I mean? Yeah, Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson, Charlie Murphy.
Charlie Murphy.
You know, a lot of comedians.
Lil Duval.
Michael Blackson.
They had the white girl in there, too.
Big up the white girl.
Yeah.
You don't even remember this bitch's name.
I don't remember her name.
You're a foul nigga.
Wow, you got all the fouls.
He's a foul nigga.
I am.
You know I'm a foul nigga, too, right?
You are.
High five, high five.
High five, the foul nigga shit.
I know, I know.
I knew you ain't gonna mention the white bitch thing.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know what?
It's about time niggas get a chance to not to remember the white people names.
Let's make some noise.
That nigga too.
Hey, man.
No, the girl was Spanish.
Her name is...
No.
Yeah, remember her name, please.
Her name is Lu...
What the fuck is her name
I saw the movie
She's beautiful though
Listen she's Latina
Let him go
Yeah she's beautiful
I mean look
I've given a lot of girls
Opportunities
I gave
What's her name
Even Mendez
Even Mendez
I told Ice Cube
That's the girl right there
You know what I mean
You said that
That was you.
She been clowning.
I remember Rick Ross's first set.
Rick Ross was on the...
They did the video for the song, the Trina record.
Rick Ross was on the soundtrack of All About the Diamonds.
The Diamond Joint.
Was his first joint.
And I think he wrote Trina's verse for that.
Yeah. I don't know what's going on think you wrote Trina's verse for that. Yeah.
I don't know what's going on,
but it keeps going on
with Miami history
because I have no idea
what you're talking about.
No, that's fantastic to me.
That's Ross's first entrance
into the...
Continue, continue.
I'm in.
Yeah.
I'm in.
Go ahead.
What happened?
Yeah.
Yeah, I like this. I like this Yeah I like this
I like this
I like this pay per view
Battle shit
Because
You can tell
You can tell
You can tell he sniffed coke
In his life at some point
He's cutting up the blunts
He's
He is keeping everything
Clean around him
That is an old school
Coke ad
From back in the day
I'm sorry
No that's prison
That's prison
Oh I'm sorry You No, that's a prison
Tentree You I mean cuz you'd be surprised at how many sneakers sales is foul
Funky niggas. That's how you could tell if you got some class cuz the niggas jail cells dirty the motherfucker
You gotta keep your cell clean
Yeah, honey. What are you doing man peanut butter?
Where is the fucking tootsies at your cell clean. What are you doing, man? What dance is this, bro?
I'm looking for champagne.
Where is the fucking Tootsies at?
Down the street.
That's where I'm finna go.
You finna go to Tootsies?
I got $150.
Go to take one.
No. Tootsies. Let's see how it goes for me.
Tootsies.
Oh, really? You never ate Tootsies food? Tussies Let's see how good food is Tussies Oh really
You never ate
You never ate
Tussies food
That nigga know about
Tussies
That real nigga
Know about tussies
Nah
You know how to fry lobster
You gotta get the fried lobster
Look
Let me talk to you
Let me talk
You
Let's do a movie together
No way
No we gonna
You gonna do a drink chance movie Your country cousin Moves to New York You gonna do a movie together No way No we're going You're going to do The Drink Champs movie
Your country cousin
Moves to New York
No you're going to do
The Drink Champs movie
And listen
This is what happens
Alright
In the Drink Champs movie
Relax
We're going to go somewhere
And some niggas
Going to challenge us
And then we can't do
What we got to do
But then they say
Mike Apps
Come out here like that.
And in my mind, it's bright shit that come out.
That nigga silly.
Pigeons.
Dubs.
Mike, come out and say, I got that.
And you're going to back us.
And we're going to go against like a Brazilian there.
That nigga's crazy.
What's that nigga's name? Like the white guy that fuck with Brazilian name. That nigga's crazy. What's that nigga's name?
Like the white guy that fuck with French Montana.
That nigga's crazy, man.
And T-Pain and them niggas in Vegas.
We got to go get that old white man.
The most interested man in the world.
What's that nigga's name?
That be with...
Honchy.
No, man.
I don't know.
Relax.
The guy that be with French Montana.
The guy from Vegas this shit is gonna be
on Revolver
did they have
50 Cent on here
did 50 Cent
didn't say nothing
about Puffy on here
yes he did
he went in
on Puffy
I told Puff
relax
he did
you gotta let it go
that's who I wanna see
I wanna see all
them dudes fight
why they making
the youngsters fight
I wanna see these old niggas all them dudes fight. Why are they making the youngsters fight?
I want to see these old niggas fight.
No, no, no.
We can't do that, Mike. Yes, they can.
So take a shot.
Take a shot.
I want to see these old niggas fight since they put these young niggas to fighting.
Let's tiger bone it out.
Is there no more champagne?
No, there's plenty of tiger bone for us.
Yeah, y'all got me.
Big bottles.
Yeah, that shit.
Young niggas, you ready to leave, Mike?
Yeah, I still ain't drunk.
Let's give him a shot.
I got Tiger.
Why y'all think Tiger Bowler is so great though?
Why y'all think Tiger Bowler is the one?
I don't want no more of that shit.
Now, he drunk.
See little guy.
He want to join the goody mob again.
I don't know what happened to him.
What happened to him, Mike'm having a hit with my...
I'm going to call Trick Daddy.
Trick Daddy, he was with us.
He stayed.
I'm going to call Trick Daddy.
I can't drink no more.
That's a nasty...
We got to take a picture.
Take a picture.
It's done.
We out.
Thank you.
Thank you. Drink Champs is a Drink Champs LLC production, hosts and executive producers, NORE and DJEFN.
Listen to Drink Champs on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
Thanks for joining us for another episode of Drink Champs,
hosted by yours truly, DJ EFN and NORE.
Please make sure to follow us on all our socials.
That's at Drink Champs across all platforms,
at TheRealNoriega on IG,
at Noriega on Twitter.
Mine is at Who's Crazy on IG,
at DJ EFN on Twitter.
And most importantly, stay up to date with the latest releases,
news, and merch by going to drinkchamps.com.
Why is a soap opera western like Yellowstone so wildly successful?
The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show
from the Meat Eater Podcast Network.
So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th,
where we'll delve into stories of the West
and come to understand how it helps inform the ways
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Listen to The American West with Dan Flores
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I know a lot of cops.
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Sometimes the answer is yes.
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I get right back there and it's bad.
Listen to Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated,
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This is an iHeart Podcast.