Drinking Wine and Talking Shit - S1E6: Sauvignon, Swipes, and Shenanigans: Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, and Modern Dating Drama

Episode Date: January 18, 2025

Welcome back to Drinking Wine and Talking Shit, where we sip, vent, and laugh our way through life’s chaos. This week, we’re pouring a crisp Sauvignon Blanc and diving headfirst into the wild, messy world of modern dating.💔 From ghosting to breadcrumbing to orbiting (yes, that's a thing), we’re breaking down the bizarre jargon of dating today. We’ll share real-life horror stories from listeners, unpack the psychological toll of these behaviours, and offer tips on how to survive the dating maze with your sanity intact.🧀 This week’s pairing: Sauvignon Blanc + assorted bruschetta (because dating, like bruschetta, has its sweet, salty, and surprising moments).🎭 What you’ll get in this episode:A crash course in modern dating termsHilarious and cringeworthy listener submissionsPop culture insights like HBO’s Swiped and "Why Modern Dating is Broken"Practical tips to spot red flags, protect your peace, and prioritise self-care🎤 Interactive fun: We’re reading your dating disasters on air—don’t miss the laughs, the gasps, and the head-shakes of solidarity!So grab a glass, hit play, and join us as we untangle the madness of today’s dating scene. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe to keep the laughs coming every week!✨ Cheers to surviving modern love, one sip at a time. ✨#ModernDating #DatingDrama #Ghosting #Breadcrumbing #DrinkingWineAndTalkingShit #Podcast #SauvignonBlancShow references:Forbes Article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/janelevere/2018/09/09/new-hbo-documentary-explores-hooking-up-in-the-age-of-online-dating/?utm_source=chatgpt.comThe Australian: Breadcrumbing, orbiting, kitten-fishing: the new dating lexiconhttps://www.theaustralian.com.au/subscribe/news/1/?sourceCode=TAWEB_WRE170_a_GGL&dest=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theaustralian.com.au%2Farts%2Freview%2Fbreadcrumbing-orbiting-kittenfishing-the-new-dating-lexicon%2Fnews-story%2Fdeed643d3db50a746e60814eaa17ecd6&memtype=anonymous&mode=premium&v21=GROUPA-Segment-1-NOSCORE&V21spcbehaviour=append Why Modern Dating is Brokenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdakU_fourM Find us on Instagram and Tiktok @DWTS_Shit. And you can follow @only_aamy & sadie.cubitt on Instagram too. Let's laugh with wine together!

Welcome to Drinking Wine and Talking Shit. This podcast is all about good wine, hot topics and unapologetic humour. We dive into everything from the controversial to the downright ridiculous, blending laughs with debates and the occasional cheeky jab. While we love to take the piss, we're never here to offend, insult or spread negativity. It's all in the spirit of fun, entertainment and sparking lively conversations. If you're someone who's easily offended, this might not be the podcast for you. So pour yourself a glass, come with an open mind and let's get into it. Okie dokie. Alright, let's crack on. Okie dokie. Alright, let's crack on. Okie doke.

Welcome to Drinking Wine and Talking Shit. Today's title is Sauvignon Swipes and Shenanigans. Ghosting, breadcrumbing and modern dating drama. I am so excited for this episode. Today we're on corking a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. Can't we? And diving into the messy, hilarious and sometimes infuriating world of modern dating. So, we're going to be looking at ghosting, breadcrumbing, orbiting.

If these terms sound like something out of a sci-fi movie, don't worry, because we've got you covered. And we had to Google some of the terms ourselves. Yes, certain things we've only just realised exists nowadays uh since we've stopped the dating scene um so as you all know modern dating is like a maze uh it's even to be full of twists dead ends and the occasional surprise so in this episode we're going to break down the jargon share your juicy stories and explore how to survive the chaos with your sanity still intact. Let's sip, vent and navigate the dating world together. Okay, well, let me just have a quick sip of this Sauvignon. Yes, I'll have a little sip of my wine too. Cheers, by the way.

Cheers. I'm looking at the little glasses we've got this week. If you can't see us, check us out on YouTube. We've got some lovely uh well crystal glasses today we thought that'd go really well um but also um you'll be able to see the food and what it is we're making and obviously see us you know why not why not see us sitting here with our legs crossed chilling so sadie go on then just start to define some modern dating terms so let's start then with a crash course in modern dating terms.

And these are the phrases you need to decode the madness. Again, we had to check out a couple of these because I wasn't aware of a couple of them at all. Also, Sadie's got a bit of a cold still. So if you can hear her snivelling, I'll see how I'm rubbing her nose. Yeah, sorry. It's fine. Still here. So, first term then, which I'm sure a lot of you have heard of, is ghosting.

This is when someone disappears. Well, it says mid-conversation, like they've been abducted by aliens. One minute you're planning a date, and the next minute they're MIA. However, ghosting could be done after dates, could be done after months of dating. I mean, have you seen that new show, Missing You? Oh, yes, I have watched Missing You. And she gets ghosted after a full-on relationship. If you've not watched it, I mean, it was a bit of a different scenario, a bit of a one-off scenario, though, you'd think, in this situation.

Won't give any spoilers away, but if you've not watched it already, watch it at Netflix, Missing You, one of those new eight-part series. Five-part. Five-part, actually. But, part series five part actually but you know a limited series love a limited series so yeah yeah good shout but no you say that you were saying you call it ghosting though like you say can happen anytime anytime like you could go gone on like five days with someone and all of a sudden they just don't speak to you that's never happened to me the five day part probably one day but i'm crazy um yeah after one day they were like nope nope she's some crazy bitch um okay so then the new term we didn't know about and i was speaking to one of my friends the other day and they didn't know about it either um it was like what what's that and it's bread

crumbing so as soon as i read it i was like oh yeah i've probably been guilty of doing this um and like this is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested but never actually follows through it's like dangling a carrot you'll never reach now when i've had like been on tinder like in the past and you've got so many men like men who've matched with you and so many messages you do bread like not breadcrumb but like you're messaging them and then like you'll end up sifting out to the favorite ones so you're not always breadcrumbing on purpose, but where do you start? I mean, you've got to start somewhere, haven't you?

But yes, breadcrumbing where some people might do it to be a bit more selfish is like, well, I don't know if this will work out all right, so I'll just keep this one going just in case. Also, I think when you're on apps like Tinder and stuff, it's a little bit okay to breadcrumb and ghost. When you've got it escalated to giving out your number and going on dates it then just becomes a bit rude so to me it's okay to do it

on the apps i was like no i've done it on whatsapp as well because like tinder's annoying and i don't always want it i didn't always want to go and check it when i used it obviously in the past so obviously yes okay i'd probably give my number out i mean it's only whatsapp you could yeah you can block them if you want to um but like again i've probably given someone my number and then i've spoke met someone else but actually they're nicer and it's gone further so you then you then just oh sometimes they just turn out to be weird so you just block them which most men are no i'm joking jokes joking yes this is not a gender specific thing actually i'm guilty of all yes this is not a gender specific thing actually i'm guilty of all these things and it wouldn't be great and i might actually try and

do this is to get some men's perspectives on this as well and how they've experienced it because i know we were speaking to sadie's partner earlier and he laughed about certain experiences he's had so hopefully we'll share some of those with you as the week goes on oh yeah um sorry i've just thought of a really good idea but But we'll come back to that. So the final term that we learned about this week was orbiting, which is... So imagine someone who ghosted you but still watches your Instagram stories

or likes your tweets. They're not talking to you, but they're still there lurking around. Again, I've not done that. If you're done, you're done. Yeah, I wouldn i'm if you're done you don't like yeah yeah i wouldn't then be like i just don't understand why you do that because surely if you've got no interest in that person why are you still there doing that yeah like yeah i just think that's a bit weird because like for me what what what what benefit do you have from still doing that

if you're not bothered about them i think that's a bit strange yeah but so those are the three main terms that we kind of found and i'm sure that there are many more yeah um and you know things like catfishing and things like that we'll come into that a bit later on and and you know you know the the kind of things that people do experience whilst dating like people can come across so nice and normal at first and then be completely obsessive or you you know or maybe crazy or whatever you know so there maybe crazy or whatever, you know. So there's lots of, I'm sure, very funny and strange stories. Well, there are that we've got to share with you.

So, yeah, these behaviours can be frustrating and confusing and, but unfortunately, super common. So whilst we can laugh about it, they do take their toll. However, before we get into a bit more of the nitty gritty, let's do the wine and the why. The wine and the why. Okay, so today to help us survive this maze of modern dating, we are sipping on a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. Amy, would you like to pour us a fresh glass? I would. It is refreshing, light and exactly the kind of clarity we need in today's dating world. We've actually gone for a Fair Trade 2024 bottle, which is actually really, it is crisp. It's really nice, isn't it?

It is really nice. And for snacks, which, sorry, yes, it's very nice. I'm just conscious of trying to stay near my mic. And for snacks, we've got some bruschetta topped with fresh tomatoes, basil and mozzarella. Now, I am moving house, so I feel like I have half-assed this snack. Now, normally I am trying to create something

a little bit more out there, and I promise you, going forward, I'm going to get it right. I'm good in the kitchen, OK? Promise you. She actually really is. Also, in Satan's defence, she's's moving so we used my kitchen today and my house is like a building site and just half messy because it's being everything's being done a bit so when you see the reel don't

judge us just remember that every other instagram reel that you see on instagram is fake and also the ones before that were fucking fantastic because I made those Christmas breeze. Yeah, check those out. And those feta parcels. So fuck off. Now these are a little salty, a little sweet and a lot delicious. So Amy, let's give them a try. Let's give them a try. I'm sure they'll

be banging. I'm going to remove the wine from the tray. We're lifting the tray. We're lifting the tray, tray listeners now the mozzarella is absolutely fantastic hopefully you can see that so we'll pop them there and let's give them a try they are toasted and we have used a um lovely rosemary and rock salt for ketchup actually and i always feel the need to apologize to the listeners because if you can hear us in the microphones chewing i'm sure it's lovely.

Actually, it won't have. Mm-hm. Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm. Half-assed bruschetta, bang it. If you ever want to half-ass anything and then get home and just have a glass of wine, go for the bruschetta. Bang in. If you ever want to half-ass anything and then get home and just have a glass of wine, go for the bruschetta. Easy life.

Bruschetta, as Sadie called it. I'm just going to have one more mouthful. The Italians call it bruschetta. I was just literally about to say, I'm sure Sadie's pronouncing it correctly. She's also just talking a bit smart about my white, well, what was hers, white rug. It's got slime on it for my kids' pie.

I had to hide that bit under the chair. My partner came in the room the other day and he went, oh, it looks lovely in it. I love the rug. Can't see the stain. The massive pink slime stain. That is lovely, and I will return back to that shortly.

Just have a sip of the wine with it because taste sensation yeah it's banging actually do you know what that is a really nice

Sauvignon it is I'm not always a fan of a Sauvignon me neither I'm a Pinot girl all the way but that was lovely

and do you know what guys soon keep a lookout because we're going to start going into other wines because do you know what I keep noticing that they're not all Sauvignon pinot or chardonnay

i'm in shock my wine connoisseuriness is getting better yeah because i've grown up with mom and all she has is either a pinot or she used to drink red wine and it probably was just called red wine yeah yeah oh god no yeah me and red wine i don't know i think sadie needs to get me some on some good red reddies good reds in fact i said didn't i i'm going to yeah, me and red wine. I don't know. I think Sadie needs to get me on some good reddies. Good reds. In fact, I said, didn't I, I'm going to find out what that red wine was from that French restaurant, so I will find out.

I will try, and I've never tried it, but Gemma, my friend, tells me all the time, Chateauneuf-du-Pape. Oh, yeah, that is a banging wine. I've never tried it, and I will. That is a banging wine. I think I will like it. I might do you a steak medallion one week

with a Chateauneuf-du-Pape, but they're not cheap. Guys, guys, steak, cheap. You can go halves with me on a Chateau Nerf to pap but they're not cheap guys guys steak you can go halls with me on a Chateau Nerf to pap I will how much is it it's not that bad

it's about £20 you get one for £20 oh cool yeah you get one for £20 here's me thinking £100 bottle great

brilliant okay so absolutely fabulous food and wine as always Sadie to be fair and I think Sadie I'm going to give you

a challenge for this year, which I've already gave you one in a previous episode, and we need to catch up. I've done it. Oh, which one was it? Your money savings. The 1P? No.

No, I've done that. Trading 212, but well done. Sorry, guys, just for recapping. Prior to Christmas, I gave Sadie a challenge for this year. And it was to set up a 212 trading account and to put in certain amount of money into the S&P 500 because it's a very, very reliable stock. Apparently.

We don't know for sure. We're not giving you financial advice, but this is something that we're deciding to do. So that's Sadie's challenge one, so I need to recap that with her because I don't think she's started. No, I haven't. The second one is every day,

Monzo said if you put a penny a day away, but every day goes 2p, 3p, 4p, all the way up to the end of the year, which turns out to be £3.65 obviously um and then you have £668 or £65 or something like that at the end um so we've also started that uh challenge um so we are determined to save this year um and do really really well also just so you know my children's bank account i'm putting loads of money in there because we're trying to get norella car saved for.

Then I've got my house savings account ready for a new mortgage, which is 650 a month between me and Aaron, which I think is quite good. Plus everything else we pay for. I think we're doing all right. But I am going to do the S&P 500. I am going to. I think it's great because sometimes what I do,

because I'm shit at saving, is I put things into things that I can't move out easily because then I can't spend it again and i've known this year well last year 2024 and this year that is what my main aim was so sometimes like i think i'm a bit skint but i know i'm not because there's an account that me and my partner are saving well i'm not allowed to touch that because that's our money and i've got the balance so we both don't take out of that and that's for our wedding but other things as well and then i've got my own savings.

And then I've got my trading 212. So my own savings, I can take out of that. But the trading 212, I can't. So I keep putting money in there because it's really reliable. And I've made profit on it. And then obviously the Monzo stuff. And also I've got some shares in my company as well at work. That's really good.

So that's just... I can't touch the kids' account because it came off my phone. And it's on Aaron's phone. Oh, that's good. And I can't even log into it. because it came off my phone and it's on Aaron's phone. Oh, that's good. And I can't even log into it. So if you want to save, guys... Just don't touch it. Just delete the app.

Yeah. That's what I've done. Put it in something. Don't give it your mum because she'll give it you back. Like my mum, well, she might not, but my mum, I'm like,

Mum, save this money for me and whatever I do... Do not give it me. And she always gives it. Can I just have £50 out of that account? Yeah, I want me now. I'll send it you now. Mum Can I just have £50 out of that account? Yeah, one minute. I'll send it to you now. Mum!

Don't you think you shouldn't? Yeah, she doesn't even warn you. She doesn't even turn around and say, do you really want to do that? Remember what you said not to give it you. She doesn't say that. It's, yeah, one minute. I'll transfer it. And if she said, are you sure?

I would go, yeah, I'm really sure. But, like, she's so lovely. She's just like, yeah, of course. Mum lenders she's just like yeah of course mom lenders 100 quid yeah cool it's like mom i'm trying to quit drinking don't let me have a drink all right do you want a glass of wine i'm just being polite do you want a glass of wine mom but you know i'm going to say yes um we are going to say yes and also i say sometimes I say no, and I go, don't ask me again, because it takes all my strength to say no the first time. As you can tell, we've grown up with wine. Started drinking at five.

Joking, didn't. Cool. So, yeah. All right. Hilarious. Okay. Okay, well, now, let's lighten things up then. Well, I feel like...

Let's stay light. We're pretty light, but we'll lighten things up further. With some... Well, I don't know if it is lighten things up then well let's stay light pretty light but we'll lighten things up further with some well i don't know if it is like with some real life dating horror stories actually are we lighting things up you guys sent in some gems and wow the dating pool is wild these days amy right so i've got quite a few good ones and I actually had about six text ins so I just want to thank the viewers that have that have text in this week because we really appreciate it we do really appreciate it so shout out to these guys they are anonymous though and the three that I have selected for today I've kept

anonymous so one listener shared a story about a first date that started like a rom-com and ended like a horror movie so they met on an app and they hit it off really well and they decided to go on a Halloween themed date at haunted house cute right but halfway through the date started to act really jumpy and um the writer said that like more scared than anyone would be or should be and like not just not scared as such but more nervous and a bit like on edge and looking around and just seeming really weird so it turns out the guy's ex worked at the haunted house house and was in full zombie makeup um scaring the hell out of him at every turn um talk about unresolved issues literally chasing you down

um but just for a bit of context here the reason this person knew that the woman was his ex is because she actually um when she was speaking to her friend about this her other her friend's friend knew this person and knew that their ex worked doing this during the halloween periods at this particular venue so this guy didn't't know? He knew that she worked there. So he's obviously gone, knowing she works there. Why? And then gone in this place on this date, and she was there. Obviously, she said as well, the guy didn't text her after the date.

She never heard from him again, but she was telling the story to her friend and showed him a photo, and that's how she found out that this was that person. So a bit strange. Why would you take your date to where your ex works unless you wanted to try to make your ex's face yeah and then your ex is there trying to scare you and things like that just very odd very very odd i bet they're back together probably both weirdos uh so a bit of a weird one um mystery illness so this is a weird one okay so this one is so bizarre uh it could only happen in the modern dating game so a listener met a guy for a coffee

and midway through the date he started sneezing a lot uh they laughed it off until he suddenly declared he was completely allergic to caffeine and he didn't need to leave she thought he was kidding but he doubled down saying he was breaking out in hives from being near the coffee. He left abruptly and she never heard from him again. Allergic to caffeine or literally just wanted to get out

of the date. Okay, but like chill. Like who does that? Just be like I'm really sorry. Get your mate to ring you and say there's an emergency like a normal person.

Just finish the date and go how bad could the date have been? Yeah, exactly. Stupid. So weird. There are some weirdos.

I have been on some bad dates, but I can't just see it through. Yeah, well, no. Not necessarily see them through. You can always leave early or after the meal. I think it is difficult, isn't it? When you're on a date and you're there, you're stuck in it. You can't get out of it at that point. So it is hard when you're uncomfortable and you just want to leave

or the person's been creepy. Like Sadie, for example, went on a date with someone a while ago. Years ago. Yeah, a long time ago, sorry. And it was the first date. They went to the cinema, is that right? And he kept trying to hold her hand in the cinema,

but obviously she didn't know him. And as far as the worst first date... This was our first date, yeah. Why would you go to the cinema? Go somewhere where you can talk. Yeah. Because what's the point? You're just going to sit there in silence.

Not only that, he was like constantly telling me what a wife should be. Ooh. Yeah. Like, and this is how I'd expect you to behave and all this. I'm like, this is our first date and there's not going to be a fucking second. I knew that on the way there. Okay, my last one is the accidental double date. So, ever been on a date that's going really well until you realized you weren't the only one on it one listener went to a wine bar with a guy who

seemed great they were laughing flirting and then another woman walked in turns out he double booked his bumble dates and forgot to stagger the times the best part the two women ended up sharing a bottle of wine and ditching him iconic Iconic behaviour. Love it. I've rewritten these, so obviously they were texted in a certain way, and I've rewritten them just to share them with you guys. I've got a really good story. Yeah, say this one would be better than mine. This is someone I know.

I am going to keep it very, very anonymous, and she will not mind me sharing it. So she recently uh kind of had a break from her long-term relationship and started seeing so she's she's she was in a long term relationship with a lovely guy um they'd been together since she was very young so she decided to they decided to have a bit of a break because they weren't she wasn't sure if this was what she wanted so she then started seeing this other guy uh he was very crazy very um uh what's the word controlling um and just yeah so anyway that ended very quickly then she started seeing someone else who seemed very nice um but she actually did tell me the other day that

um they went out and uh she said oh she said when i'm with him i don't i don't flirt with other people she says you know what i'm like she's like i i can if i want to when i'm out be a bit flirty she's but i wasn't she said i and i said i know i've seen you together you're all over him all the time you're really there for him that's the problem with controlling men you love him for some reason you're just like oh my god I didn't think controlling men are always fit as well you always see them as like they're like a fit one

like it was like oh yeah she says sometimes it's nice to have a bit of jealousy because it keeps the relationship and magic alive

but not the session but she but yeah and she didn't she wasn't ever paying attention to any other guy

other than him trust me she was all over him all the time because she was excited, it was new. Anyway, they went out, and she was with some other friends as well, they'd gone out for a night out,

and this guy came up to her and said, oh, I just want to say, your dress is beautiful, you look amazing, he should be so lucky to have you on his arm. Is it in front of the guy he said it? Well, he's not there, right next to her, he's kind of over there. And as this man is talking to her,

he comes over, grabs her, yanks her. Who the fuck is that? Who are you talking to? No, no, no. What's he saying to you? She was like, whoa. Sounds like one of my exes. So then her friend was like, you need to calm down.

Like, she wasn't doing it. He just was talking. He didn't hear what he said. He didn't hear what he said, yeah. This man was with his wife, apparently. wasn't doing he just was talking he didn't hear what he didn't hear what he said yeah this man was with his wife apparently and he was just saying how good she looked in this nice dress and that he i mean i would never accept my husband to say that i'm sure he was also being a bit you know yeah fine but he didn't hear this he also this guy saw a man talking to her yeah and yanked

him and i was like oh and she was like and then after that she said that we were just bickering all the time and they've decided to call it a day she said you know I've got

I had everything before what was I thinking and that's lovely I think I think that's a nice you know so now she's kind of gone back to her

long term partner they're not quite back together but they're going through that nice romantic dating phase again which I think lovely can i just say um i've just realized who you're talking about yeah it took me ages to place that person i had someone else in my head and and no i'm very very happy for this person as well and yeah controlling and by the way guys stay tuned we're doing an episode on controlling relationships next week uh but god like things like that could be crazy and when you meet someone who you think at first

seems so nice and so normal and i've been out with two crazies like obsessed crazy controlling i'll talk about it next week but it is just it takes over like yeah and there were other things he was saying but i can't tell you that on the podcast unfortunately but fill you in later I want to know yeah yeah definitely wow brilliant any more

I've got quite a few random dates would you like to do one more thing while I just get up our singing for the next

section yeah so another story which I will again keep anonymous but Amy will know

who I'm talking about immediately so another friend of mine went on a date she'd been talking which I will, again, keep anonymous, but Amy will know who I'm talking about immediately. So another friend of mine went on a date. She'd been talking to this guy on Tinder, and then she kind of ghosted him a bit, actually. And then after breaking up with someone that she'd been seeing, decided to get back in touch, they went on a date.

She said that she got really dressed up. She had to meet him which was a bit of a threat i think it's about 30 minute drive to him got there um and he was like oh uh he had a van and he's like oh my van's a bit dirty can we go in your car and i was like yeah okay then i've just driven here but whatever so then he so we drove and he said where do you want to go which um i would have thought maybe you'd have thought about somewhere near to him where you want to go yeah because i don't know the area um because i don't know the area she doesn't know the area yeah um and uh so he took her to a beef eater restaurant which she was a bit annoyed about because she felt like she'd made a really big effort

to, one, get there, and two, look really nice. And be overdressed in a beef car. I don't know what you mean by that. And she said that. She said, I felt really overdressed. So they went to this restaurant. But at the same time, she wanted to get over this guy that she'd been seeing.

And so she was like, I'm going to... Sleep with him anyway. I'm going to sleep with him anyway, just to see if it helps in any way to get over someone get under somebody else exactly anyway so she went back to his apartment after the fucking bvr which i think he did pay for did she have a lot of wine because i don't know why no she said she didn't have enough to drink but uh i don't think she had to pay. I think he was going to ask. I can't remember what she said.

Anyway, so he went back to his apartment, his house, which was actually a house share. And I think she was about 29. So they were getting on. Do you know what I mean? It's not like, you know, come on, house share, 29. I mean, I don't know.

Yeah, no. But boys mature slower than girls. I suppose. Anyway, it smelled funny she said house share no it was a house share

where he had the downstairs and someone else had the upstairs and the upstairs was all men yeah and then he

ex-partner proceeded to talk about the fact that he'd slept with all these women and this one woman really liked to be spanked and she had bruises all over her bum

because she got spanked so much it was like black with bruises oh yeah why does do men feel like we need or want to know this yeah don't worry also she then told me that obviously uh so they started to kind of have sex and they moved to the bed which he had um metal bars with like hoops with rope attached so that he could tie people up oh my god like you wouldn't put that away for a first date and get a cat when you know they like bondage oh my god anyway so they had sex um wasn't amazing uh it came really fast really small willy and um then she was like okay so i'm gonna'm going to go. And he was like, you're not going to stay? And she's like, no.

And then she got in the car and called me straight away. Tell me about it. I know who this is. The fact that he asked her, you're not going to stay, is interesting for saying the guy had, like, straps and everything. You'd think the guy was okay for a one-bump, thank you, ma'am. Yeah. And then, like, you're not going to stay for a cuddle?

Yeah. No. Yeah. I was surprised when she said that, actually. But, yeah. I've got one. I just said that actually but yeah but anyway your turn um well right well no i was just gonna say like slightly moving on i mean like we can go into like it is funny um you know you've got things that i think in modern dating now like things like bumble like it's it's um women only can reply which is quite a good one i suppose um i don't know how everyone else fared with that but i used to struggle because i haven't got time

to reply and rather rather than message first anyway um and also like also with catfishing let's just quickly pop on to that one i think catfishing can come in two forms it can come in the way you make yourself look and it can come in the way you make yourself act and see them. And I think women do the thing where they put loads of makeup on and men do the thing where they act like a nice guy. Or like they act like, not a nice guy,

sorry guys, I'm not slating you. What I'm saying is men are a bit more, like women are more self-conscious about the way they look. And men are more conscious I think about what they have.

What they have and their steam yeah their job their money they're not just that and tell us if we're wrong as well guys um if we have any male listeners but like i feel sometimes you know men can be insecure too and i think women and men are very insecure both in different ways so like again women with the way they look their bodies but i think men as well with their bodies but also when it comes to like i think not all men obviously but sometimes i think it's hard for men because i think they feel they need to have to compete against other men it's like when you see things on tinder all height actually matters now and

things like that so men are then conscious about their height so i'm not saying that it's all just about the women here men i'm sure men struggle with dating too and i think like i said it would be great to get some other people's men's opinions on this and perspectives and how they feel about online dating and what they've struggled with because i can imagine and tell you now i bet men will say well i've been on a date where the girl looked like this and then she didn't look like this in person yeah because there's a filter on and i just don't believe in that i don't believe in using a filter you know put makeup on not on dating apps not on a dating app no if you want to put that on your facebook post post absolutely fine you know but i think to to imply to somebody that you're not who you say you are is unfair and it's like i've been in relationships in the past and let's just take gender out of it i've been in relationships

in the past where i've been with somebody and they've told me they're a certain way or they do certain things or they have a certain way about them now i'm very like driven and i've got plans and goals and things in life now not everyone's like that that's absolutely fine but i want to be with someone who is like that i am with someone who is like that and i'm happy about it and grateful for it because we have we're aligned with what we want to do and when we're struggling or busy we're not annoyed with each other because we know we've got an end goal whereas i think other people have different goals or don't necessarily think that way and i think that's why you need to match with the right person so in the past i've been on dates with people who say that they go to the gym or

that you know they they are very into their fitness, but they're not really. And then you find out later that they're just lazy and laze around and actually don't even want to go to work, let alone go to the gym. So I think dating, especially online dating, because you can make yourself seem and look a different way, is quite difficult. And I think I personally have met the best people

and had the best relationships from, to be honest, actually, I'll take that back. I have met people online and I've met people in real life in a bar or randomly. And no matter what, you'll get crazy and you'll get nice. No matter where you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest.

I think with online dating, though, I think at the moment it's just a massive landscape where there's lots of differences. Yeah. Sorry, see. No, no. I was just going to say, so on a bit

more of a serious note um these dating behaviors can mess up with your head so ghosting for example can leave you questioning what you did wrong when it might not have been anything to do with you breadcrumbing can make you feel stuck in limbo waiting for something that's never going to happen which if you are being breadcrumbed just sack that off also you could be in a relationship and be breadcrumbed can't you it's like you, you could be in a relationship and be breadcrumbed. Can't you? It's like you're in a relationship waiting to see, am I in this relationship or am I not in this relationship?

We've said we're together but I've not seen you or you'll be texting but I'm not, you know. Yeah, or we're not really, no one knows we're together. Do you know what I mean? Things like that. But here's the thing. These actions often say more about the person doing them than about you. So obviously don't worry. It's not your fault someone lacks the maturity to communicate so what's important is recognizing the

red flags and protecting your peace but let's just be honest at the same time we have all done it whether you think you have or not but ghosting someone after a couple of texts on tinder is still ghosted it's and it's okay it's okay don't panic if you're doing it I wouldn't do it I wouldn't like I wouldn't be in a relationship and then ghost off you know or I wouldn't break like oh I'm kind of

with this person but I'm also kind of not like yeah that's not fair and with the ghosting thing like it's like I bet there are situations that we don't know about

but if you've had this situation please send us and text in and we'll put the phone number on at the end but text us and let us know, because I bet there's people in the world

who've had to actually been in a relationship for like six months to a year, and then just, they've been ghosted, and they know the person's still alive because their family members have spoken to them, and they've not been abducted or raped or attacked and taken to a, you know, an unknown location. These, they just decide to stop being with you.

Yeah, yeah. Is that unfair? No, because they're too scared. And whether or not it's fear because they're scared of you, or it's because they just can't be bothered to actually face-to-face break up with you, which is out of order. I'm sure there are situations where that's happened,

so it would be interesting to know about those. So yeah, let us know. 100%. However, dating drama isn't new. It's everywhere in pop culture. There is a HBO documentary called Swiped, hooking up in the digital age, which dives deep into the world of online dating

and how it's changed relationships. So that is a must-watch. Please check that out. Really interesting. There's also an article in The Australian, sorry, titled Breadcrumbing orbiting kitten fishing the new dating lexicon if you've ever felt like you need a dictionary for dating this is it um and if i'm honest i haven't actually watched this yet uh read this yet but um it sounds really

interesting and i think the fact that me and say they don't didn't realize there was breadcrumbing and orbiting i mean what is kitten fishing you know what i mean say um really intrigued to read that um and also for those of you prefer videos check out the youtube clip why modern dating is I mean, what is kitten fishing? You know what I mean? So really intrigued to read that. And also for those of you who prefer videos, check out the YouTube clip, Why Modern Dating is Broken. It's funny, insightful, and will have you nodding along the whole time. And I will put all of the links and everything in the show notes.

So please keep a look out. So dealing with modern dating doesn't have to feel like a full-time job. And here's a few tips that we've kind of researched and come up with that might help you get yourself through some of the dating game. So we have got self-awareness. So obviously make sure that you're aware when you're going into dating and that you can recognise that someone's playing games with you. And don't engage with that. You are better. If that's not what you want, if you don't want to play games,

if you're there for a one-night stand and you just want to have a bit of fun, which a lot of people, unfortunately, on Tinder do, then fair enough. But if you don't, you are very well within your rights on that first date or within those messages to say, well, I'm actually here for this.

I'm looking for a long-term relationship, a man who maybe I can marry or want family with. That's what I want. Be clear about that. Yeah, and girls used to be scared to say that yeah and I got to a point

where I was like I don't care I'll scare you off if I scare you off I want to scare you off you're not the man I want you're not the one yeah

and that's what I did with Aaron my first date with Aaron I told him I'm looking to settle down I want children I want to be married

that's what I want and he was like yeah I want to settle down too and easy done if he said that's not what I'm and he was like yeah I want to settle down too and easy done if he said that's not what I'm looking for also easy

done yeah I'm not wasting my time so it's okay you don't have to feel like yeah but was it play hard to get because otherwise

they'd run off you don't have to do that but you don't want the ones who are going to run off if it gets hard anyway so exactly and to be honest

the only reason if I was younger like early 20s I'd play hard to get is because like it went about playing hard to get as such is that when i was in my 20s i was like whatever i was respect as well yes but i was out to have a good time i was not there to get into a very serious relationship in my 20s when i was dating and going out all the time and things like that i mean i was very clear about that as well i was very very clear about that i don't want a relationship this isn't what's happening this

is just us having some fun. And I think sometimes playing hard to get can be misconstrued as, you know, not misconstrued, but it's kind of that's how you're getting the respect. Absolutely.

When actually, when you say, I do want a relationship, I want to settle down. If that's not for you, then goodbye. That is playing hard to get. Because if you don't want that,

that's fine. It's hard for you. It's hard for you. I'm happy to wait for the right person that comes along. And for me personally, playing hard to get because if you don't want that that's fine for you it's hard for you i'm happy to wait for the right person that comes along and for me personally i it wasn't necessarily about playing hard to get but i i am a firm believer in actually when you first start dating someone it's a whole game it is a game it is a game because you're figuring out who they are and what they want when i say in you're probably in your 30s not so much late 20s early 30s not

so much in your early 20s when you meet a man or a lad boy at the time would have been wouldn't it you you they they in my head and this is probably not a great thing probably for me but this is how maybe i grew up a little bit is i'd have i had like i had lots of male friends and then and i knew what they were like so i'm not and i love them right but i know what men were young lads are like yeah so i just was one i was a young lad i will tell you i would have done the same things that young men did i'm like well i won't text him i won't do this i won't do that and guess what they always text me and always fell in love with me yeah because you're playing a game and until both of you sit down and

to make them fall in love with you and the other way around they're doing the same thing or make them want you or make them whatever it is when you're young and stupid. But then when you both say, right, I'm in love with you or I really want to be with you, let's sit down together and make that decision. That's when the game should end. Of course.

I'm not saying it should be a game. I'm just saying there are parts of that. You're getting to know each other. You're getting to know who that other person is. Don't shove all your eggs in one basket if I'm going to give you

this advice. Yeah, especially when you're young. Especially when you're young. And if you are going to give all your eggs in one basket, ask the dumb questions first and make sure the basket's sturdy. exactly so self-awareness and communication finally self-care dating can be draining so make sure to prioritize your mental health

take breaks when you need to and don't be afraid to lean on your support system there have been so many times during one particular relationship which can't really call a relationship when I definitely needed my support system which was Amy, mum and unfortunately Amy's ex-boyfriend now but he was great. Yeah, yeah, it's alright. Still in the friendship group.

He set me up with my current husband so I'm a fiancé so I can't really hate the guy. As much of a child as he was, he did a good thing there. He did, he did, he did. So, we just want to thank you for sharing and reminding us that we are all in this dating game together. Yes, we are.

And if you have any other amazing stories to share with us, whether it's on dating, whether it's on any of the other topics we've already done, or if you'd like to share that maybe a little bit more sensitive story around next week's episode, which is around controlling relationships, gaslighting and things like that. It would be amazing if you did share them with us.

I will put the phone number on the screen. And if you'd like to text in, then please do on 07-399-173-531. We'd really appreciate it. So it's now time for our lovely section called Pick Your Poisons. I was going to say, as we love to drink

and as I said last time, poison our bodies, we decided to change our Would You Rather section to our Pick Your Poison section, which we hope you can join in on. And also guys, use that number again if you've got some great scenarios for us. Doesn't matter what can join in on and also guys use that number again

if you've got some great scenarios for us doesn't matter about what topic it's on and you want to send in like your own pick your poison questions for us to answer we would love it so um yes uh i have some pick your poison questions sadie my first one is so would you rather date someone who texts back instantly but never calls or someone who calls but never texts say that again. Would you rather date someone who texts back instantly and texts all the time but never calls or someone who calls all the time but never texts? Probably calls all the time but never texts

because I hate texting. And if you're calling me, I'll be like, hey, are you all right? Yeah, I'll call you back in a minute. Do you know what I texting and if you're calling me i'll be like hey you're right yeah i'll call you back in a minute um do you know what i mean like if you're texting me even if it's an initial initial part of the relationship think about this oh yeah you want people one time random callers yeah i was texting this guy once and he just rang me out of the blue and i was staying at mum's because i just broke up with someone else um a long time ago yeah um and i was like running a bath and he rang me and I was like

also don't ring us off guard we don't look like we do on dates is it okay if I call you they FaceTime it was FaceTime yeah

yeah because they FaceTime no and I was like I can't I mean I was skinny and blonde back then

so I looked good all the time but yeah no okay I don't know yeah so you're dating remember you're not in a relationship you've initial dating probably still call because i

couldn't cope with texting all the time as well because if it's the kind of person who you text and they instantly reply you feel the need to instantly reply and i'm just not an instant reply yeah um as well you've got like other messages from other people and it's just hard isn't it yeah okay shall I go on go on then would you rather be the last two people on earth with your partner

or the first two people on Mars with someone you don't know with the same partner no sorry I'd rather be the last person on earth with my partner that's cute

what am I going to do in Mars with a rando first two people maybe it's fallen i don't know yeah but who what kind of a woman would i be if i said i'd rather just um let the entire world die and me and one other person survive but i don't know who he is and we go to mars no i'd rather be the last two people on earth me and chris would have a ball we'd literally just go crazy um okay so would you rather match with one of your exes and have to go on a date or go on the worst date ever imaginable with someone you don't know and it's going to be the worst day i'm talking you accidentally stand in a puddle of shit you fall over he's a dickhead

he doesn't pay he hasn't got a car like it's the worst day ever or you have to go on a date with probably go on a date with my ex yeah which one no you don't have to answer that you know which one um cool okay okay would you rather get stuck in an elevator with your ex or be stuck in an elevator alone oh sorry i just want to quickly say before i answer that the reason this one's funny is because obviously your exes aren't that bad if you chose that you know for me i'd probably rather go on the worst date ever than have to go on a date with a certain couple of exes if i'm honest yeah so that actually is a good answer yeah sorry asking me again sorry uh would you rather get stuck in an elevator with your ex or with someone sorry or be stuck in an elevator alone uh and i'm gonna say for 24 hours do i have my phone yes but there's no signal

it depends which ex you can choose Yes, but there's no signal. It depends which X. You can choose. J. At least I'll make you laugh. Yeah. I thought that. I did think that.

Yeah. Even E. We've both got no signal. Yeah, you've both got no signal. E can't go on his phone. That's a talk. Yeah, that's better than being alone. Yeah, unfortunately, yeah.

Because although I've got some idiotic exes, I've got also, no, sorry, I've got some nasty exes. I've also got some idiotic exes, but they're not nasty or horrible people. Like, they're a bit silly and immature. So, yeah, I'll pick one of my exes who wasn't an insane psychopath. Yeah. Okay. A nice one. Brilliant. Okay, right. So, we're going to move on to our final segment, which is our brand new

segment, which is called It's a Corker. And this week, it's from Amy. So, yes, I do have an It's a Corker story. So, this actually happened this year. It is not related to the topic, but I want Sadie to go, ooh, that's a corker, and I want to put it in the show. And if I don't say it, it means it's shit.

Yeah. Ooh, that's a good one, though. So, what we'll do is, at the end of each episode, when the person, so Sadie will be next week, if the story's good, I don't know,

I might get little paddles made, hold them up. It's a corker it was crap it's shit yeah a corker or crap we'll call it

a corker or a crapper oh yeah is it a corker or a crapper I feel like we're on some kind of like bullseye joke don't we

it's a corker so this is true it happened this year so missing twins leave puzzling note before vanishing near river. I had to say because there's twin related, so I thought it was a good one. So, Eliza and Henrietta Hussey, no, Husty, sorry, 32-year-old twins from Aberdeen, Scotland,

disappeared on January 7th this year. Prior to their disappearance, they exhibited unusual behaviour, including leaving a cryptic note for their landlady bear in mind they lived together at the age of 32. I mean, me and Sadie love each other, but not that much. We've lived together a lot, but we argue like bitches.

You can't get us living together. But anyway, they exhibited unusual behaviour, including leaving a cryptic note for their landlady, terminating their tenancy without informing their family. CCTV footage last captured them near Victoria Bridge in Aberdeen at 2.12am. Despite extensive searches by police, including special units, no evidence has been found to suggest harm or third-party involvement. Their family, collaborating with authorities,

have issued a plea for information. I mean, it's not a crapper, is it? It's a corker. It's a corker. That's something, like, we should investigate. I know. Should we go to Aberdeen? Should we go to Scotland?

I think that's meant to say Aberdeen authorities. I don't know why that happens. I hope so. But, yeah, what a story. And, yeah, they don't know where they happened I hope so but yeah what a story and yeah they don't know where they are it happened this year

they were 32 so it's not like they're 5 it's not like they've just disappeared and been abducted they're fully grown adults they can make their own choices but they've not told their family that's just like me and you

yeah just disappearing just not telling anyone I mean we're not that loserish we don't live together loserish like come on everyone's a dickhead everyone's a dickhead let's just go and jump in the river together we don't live together loserish like come on everyone's a dickhead everyone's a dickhead

let's just go and jump in the river together we don't need it can you imagine if that's what they've done come on I doubt it

they'd have found the bodies it's a river it's not the bloody ocean is it and even then there's a tide they'd have been found somewhere

they'd have been found somewhere yeah so I reckon what did the note say to the landlord it just said that they left a cryptic note for the landlord

terminating their tenancy without informing their family. That's why it was strange. And the CCTV footage last captured them near Victoria Bridge in Aberdeen at 2.12am. So there's no further CCTV footage of them anywhere else after that? I'll look into it. Yeah, I'm going to look into it. But is it... That's a corker.

It is, but I want to know what happened now. I'll find out. I'll let you know. Do some sleuthing. Yeah, some amateur sleuthing, shall we? Okay. Well, thanks for that, Amy. It is a corker.

I feel like we need to know more information about that on the next episode. So do a bit of digging, please. But it is almost time for the end of our episode. Well it is almost time for the end of our episode well it is time for the end of our episode so we have discussed modern dating today and modern dating can be a mess but it is also a journey one that is much about learning what you want as it is about finding someone who matches it absolutely sorry my nose is terrible because i'm still sniffling away would you like me to finish the last little part go on then so remember to approach dating with empathy self-respect above all things as well and maybe a glass of sauvignon blanc on hand because let's face it everything's

better with wine of course thanks for tuning in to drinking wine and talking shit please don't forget to subscribe share your stories and most most most, most importantly, laugh about it. Until next time. Cheers. Thank you. Take care.