Duck Call Room - Float Like an Uncle Si, Sting Like a Bee

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

It all started with 27 bees dive-bombing Si Robertson's backside, but that's not his only buzzworthy tale. Godwin is back with a Christmas tree-eating contest, reindeer games, his best bull-riding story, and what happened when he didn't buy his wife a Christmas gift. Martin remembers his first Christmas with the Robertsons. John-David gives Si his very first Christmas Tree Cake. Si has a theory that Kiss isn't really a rock band and offers a brutally honest review of "Ted." The boys get into favorite Christmas songs and movies, gag gifts, a present as soft as mashed potatoes, and what you never knew about Godwin. And it's time to settle the two great Christmas debates of our time: Real trees or fake? And colored lights or white? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, boy, can sniff out a Christmas tree cake. Okay, so I did bring Christmas tree cakes for all of us. A box a piece? I mean, 35 Christmas tree cakes. Divided by four. Eight in the three quarters. I ain't split in my with nobody. I know.

Somebody can't get shorted on this day. Let's have a Christmas tree eating contest. A Christmas tree eating contest or a Christmas tree cake eating contest? you don't want to all the Christmas tree cakes Sy would win I'm actually No no no I don't know if I'd eat one of them things You you wait well I wouldn't eat it

Have you never had one no Open it I want to see I want to see size reaction Ladies and gentlemen Live from the duck call room This is what y'all was talking about Yeah and it's what you're about to be talking about For the rest of your life

You've never Before you take a bite Drummore don't take a bite You've never had one of these. No. Oh my goodness. Your life just changed. No, he's going back on it.

Don't let him go. He's putting that back there, brother. That's going to go in his pockets, son. He put it back in the wrapper. We'll put that back for later, boy. Uh-huh. Yeah. For a little snack.

That is the best Little Debbie made. I just, I believe it. They have the wrong mascot, by the way. Little Debbie doesn't eat near as many of these as I do. Yeah. So what are you down? I'm saying that, J.D.

My mouth full. Well, I mean, look at the difference between him and Little Debbie. Hey, go box over here. What are you doing? I'm going to bring it over. Galvin, man, he doesn't got weeded out. No, this is called Punish Gobwin. Nah.

Okay. Yeah. Gobbin, we like to call this positivity training. Whoa. Whoa. That's some high polluting stuff. That's high octane coffee. It jumped out everywhere.

So welcome to the Christmas episode of the Duck Car Room. We're currently eating breakfast of Christmas tree cakes, drinking coffee. And this episode comes out on Christmas Eve. So we hope you're having a wonderful time with family. Also eating snacks and goodies. And if you're also Christmas trees. If you didn't get Christmas tree cakes in your stocking yet, I hope that you do. You won't get them from us.

No, they're going to be gone. We're going to eat all of them. They'd be at it. I said, no, it ain't. No good. Look who went back in on it, son. Look who went back in. He's back on it.

I'm telling you, that thing, man, is good. That's the one that they have, like, the right ratio of frosting cake, everything. It's good. We're going to decorate this whole room with Christmas tree cakes. Oh, man, that is so good. That's ridiculous. I'll give one here in a minute. I'm going to save mine.

Anyway. But it is the Christmas episode, and, man, it's hard to believe we're already Christmas like 2020 has been a goofy year like from March to August it was like stalled out no it's been a bad year and then when September come here it said I'm going boys and it just hit the accelerator and said we getting out of here hey 2020 was a bad year because look I'm only 14 look what it did to me 14 years old yeah 14 years old and look what I look like we're crying that so hey don't bring up 2020 to me sigh you're good now forever remember 2020 is the year you had your first Christmas tree cake so we're ending it on a positive note positivity from here on

guarantee one of them high five deal boys it is crazy to think I mean it it went from slow stop to fast forward but that's generally what happens for us because it's duck season like once september gets here we're hunting and then next thing you know you look up and you know it's February you're like huh where did those last three months go you know every time it happens you know they say what it's time for duck season again i said we just got done with it you got something in your beard there so i got a christmas tree in my beard cake you're gonna say i'll be home for christmas oh christmas songs with sai i like it sire what's your favorite christmas song i like them all of them boys you don't have like one favorite though no no i love christmas

That's right. I'm indifferent. You're indifferent to Christmas songs? I like new Christmas songs. I don't like the old ones. Does that make me a terrible person? No. Okay.

What are like the old ones? And like the funny ones. Like Grandma got run over by a reindeer. That's one of my favorite. Yeah. See, that's the kind of. You may believe, but for me and Grandpa, we believe. And in a certain case, when you are, Grandpa, you get to double believe.

Yeah. Thank you. You got to watch them. I like the Black Panther. They're real. Do they fly? Nobody ever disputed that reindeer aren't real. Hey,

oh, we got some non-believers out there that don't think they're real. They don't even believe in Santa Claus. They don't even believe in the whole whole fat man. Well, that's ridiculous. I know. Who doesn't believe in Santa Claus?

Thank you. He clearly made these cakes with love. Yeah. I think that's what happens. Christmas tree cakes comes on. I'll go take a break for another little. He's pictures. Pitchers on.

I apologize to everyone for this episode. Si won't be on it. He will be eating Christmas tree cakes for the duration of the hour. We may have to go find Si some insulin for the end of this thing. Yeah. No, but what do you mean by you don't like the old ones? I don't like. I like the new versions of old.

So you like Luke Brines, Run, Run, Rudolph more than Chuck Berries? Yeah, I said it. I do like it. You know what? Look, let me tell you why I like Luke Brine's run, run. Rudolph because Luke Brian has one heck of a duck hole that I get to hunt so go look Brian that makes sense that story checks out yeah that story checks out because the old I was way better I was I was getting in but when he brought in he's got a good duck hole yeah that

he checks out yeah amen but I so John David though John Davis kind of guy that prefers Wham's last Christmas that is Taylor Swift that is a great song my four-year-old knows all the words to wham last Christmas to a T wham wham who Who's the other guy with George Michael? I looked it up the other day and I can't remember. That's a bad deal. They're British. Who cares?

No offense to our British fans. Godwin, do you even know who Wham is? Do you remember Wham? Wham break? No, not Wham break. I like the local... I've heard of it. Yeah, I'm right there with you, Gawin.

You don't remember... I've heard of them, but I don't remember, you know, because I was... Well, I don't remember much about the fact that... You don't remember much. BC? Woo. Yeah, that's right.

Before Christ. I was more Pink Floyd and Rush and. Oh, yes. You was a Rush fan? Can you believe

that's three men making all that record? Three men making all that record. Oh, hey, Mr. Teart is no longer.

ZZ. Top. And, hey, baby, they've been on the chart for 60 years on the top. Still going. Kis?

Kis has been on the chart. Well, does the top ever do a Christmas? They're not a. really a rock. Hey, Kifth ain't really a rock band. That's the problem.

I don't think we can play. You know, Kilt is a three-ring circus. Okay. With live entertainment. But George Michael, he can make a Christmas song. Gobbin, what is your favorite Christmas song? Do you have one that sticks out?

Jingle bell rock. Jingle bell rock. The holl and oats. The holl and oats version. Who sings that? Elvis. Oh, no. I ain't talking to that version.

Oh, I was thinking about the guy that plays the rockabilly version of that. Rockabilly. What is that? Who's Rockabilly? They've got, I can't think of the name of the band. They got a bass fiddle, a guitar man on the guitar, and hey, they're good. They, you know, it's a live jumping show.

Really? He's like Tina Turner. It's a three-rings-circats. Oh, yeah, no, no. He's like Tina Turner. This guy hits the stage rocking and moving, and he leaves the stage rocking and moving. I can't believe I can't think of his name. I can't either.

Then the band. If you bang on that table louder, you may think of it. Oh, no, no, but hey, they got a good band. The swing cats? Swing cats? That doesn't sound like so. Bobby Helms. Well, it may be, what did you say?

The cat, something about the cat? Rockabilly and blues. The swing cats. That's who it is, swing cats. I think. I don't know. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not allowed to do it. I hate to seal them.

Okay, I just know the guy's good. Google that on your own accord. That's what the guy's name it. Do you guitar? Brian Sweeter. I'm probably pronouncing that wrong. Yeah, it may not be Brian at all. Yeah, well, no, no.

No, the first name is right. Brian Swester, but that's probably a wrong pronounce on that. Wrong pronunciation of his name. Say that 10 times real fast. Yeah, no. Oh, I found it. The Brian Setzer Orchestra, Jingle Bell Rock. Hey, it's a good one.

I've heard the Brian Setzer. It's a, it's a. So grab you song. They get out. That song just comes out there and grabs you. Hey, when you got it, you got it. He's got it. He got it, boys.

He got it. Does anybody remember the, I want a hippopotamus for Christmas? I remember it. That's like the most. That actually hit a bell in my little mind going, pink. I think I will, but just a little bit about. I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. I thought he was saying he had an idea to tell the story.

I remember what I remember what I. I don't have a big enough cage to hold him in. There it is. Oh, that would do it. Yes. I don't have a cage big enough to hold him in. Yes. I love it.

Heck you. That must have been a hit. Y'all would remember it. Oh, man. It's like a, it sounds like a little kid singing it. I don't remember who sings it, but it's a good stuff. It's a small child. My, my, I have a group of jams that nobody knows about.

Oh, I'm aware of them. The California Raisins Christmas album. from like 1989, I had the tape as a kid. It is the greatest collection of Christmas music ever made. The California kids. The California raisins. Like the people from the commercial. The California raisins.

Oh, let me tell you something. Well, they all drive up? Yeah, a little bit. A roll drive up. No, they have just the most fantastic Christmas album ever. I'm sharp, boys. Sharp as a tag. I'm sharp as a tag.

But I listen to that album. them on repeat until I was about 10 and then CDs came out but then I brought it back at like 20 what did you bring back the California raisins Christmas oh good grief we need to bring I'm just saying it's not as many people are listening to it anymore and we need to that's probably the reason look it up people look it up boys he said check the fact on your raisins California raisins and that sounds like a good time for our first person I just found out they made a whole movie of about the California Raisins Christmas. Huh.

Didn't have that on VHS. Mind-blown. Well, here we are. We are in between duck seasons, right smack in the middle of the split. Kind of weird. You know, it's... Kind of quiet.

It's awful quiet. Everybody's been back at work. I say everybody, the people with the wrong last name have been back at work, such as me and Gobbin. I've been at work. Well, yeah.

You too. JD, you ain't never worked. Here we go again. Back on that Jay Stoll mantra of it. Look, here's what I'll say for John David. I don't offend him a whole lot. But as long as our balls, St. Gripin, he's working. And not only that, and he's not around.

The ball? Yeah. Yeah. He's pretty good at keeping him away from everybody. Oh, he's perfect. He's like, I'm going to come up there and John Davis say, no, I'll just come to your house. Boss, if you're listening, this is not true. No, it's very true.

Very true. Oh, no, this is true, boss. Very true. No, this is true. But y'all used to hunt on Christmas Day. Are you probably, do you hunt? We still do. You hunt on Christmas Day.

I've never hunted on Christmas Day. Oh, look, when I was hunting down there all the time, Christmas Day would be me, sigh, and Phil. Well, Phil blasted all of his children for spending Christmas with their children. I ain't believing these boys. They ain't coming duck hunting on Christmas Day. That's kind of fact religious, boys. Yeah, it'd be me, Seinfeld.

You're not going hunting on Christmas Day. What's wrong with you? It would always be fun. Me, side of you. Because you have to wake up when it's dark, and when you wake up, you're supposed to be. Well, you wake up when it's dark to go hunting. The stockings were filled with cheer.

And there's other things to do Christmas morning. No. No, this duck season. We didn't put Christmas in duck season. That's not our fault. I've tried to explain that point to my wife since we've known each other. We didn't do this. You knew.

You knew me when we were dating that I hunted. Did you expect me just to quit hunting once we get, you know, sign the paperwork? Well, no, it took you 14 hours to convince her. I remember that story. Well, I had nothing to do with hunting. He had other issues. She had a hold. Oh, she's got a bunch of issues.

Okay, but one of many. Okay, and hey, she may have multiple personalities also. Well, that'd match all of yours probably. So that's all good. But, hey, it's always fun around my house. Well, look, here's, I'll tell you who the slickest ones are is the state of Arkansas. They looked at the divorce rate around Christmas and said, we're just going to close duck season, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day.

They said it ain't worth Thanksgiving. Yeah. That's smart. I'm always wondered why, and now you've just told me. Yeah. Them boys up there, you know, they like him on with Erdell dogs. Uh-oh. They ain't as dumb as they look.

I've looked up an aridale dog. He don't really look at dumb either. Hey, that's a little shout out for Arkansas hunters. You're welcome. And don't take too much offense. He's told me that before. And I had to look up those dogs, and they're beautiful animals. They really are.

They're cool-looking dogs. But Arkansas is open. So I've been, I know God, when you went up there, what's your report from? Central Larkin south. It was, we seen a lot of ducks, but not, they wouldn't coming where we would. We had one big group of Mallards coming there, boom, bye, bye, bye, we got them.

And then the little tail saved the day. A bunch of them come in, and we got them. Them little tasties, as I like to call them. Little tasties. The ardubs. Boy, they're good. But I saw your woman killed a big old buck deer, didn't she? Oh, my goodness.

She got Rudolph's cousin. Or daddy or something. Or grandpa or something. That's a big old buck deer now. Was she fired up? Yeah. Was his nose red? No.

How do you know he was a cousin in? She wait until he lit. It was red after she shot him. Yeah. It turned red. It turned red. That deer come from a long way off. We watched him.

And a lane, I haven't seen him. He's Jeff's little son, but I don't know how old he is, 12, 13. He said, that looks like a buck. He had that slow walk. I put them binoculars up.

I went, yeah, that's a big. Jim said, that's world-class buck. Lane said. Well, world-class was daddy. I thought mine was. Uh-oh. He said, oh, yeah, yours was. Yeah, yours was.

Paul was like, I don't want to shoot him. You shoot him. I said, now you can do it. And she got him. She got him. That smile on her face said at all, didn't it? What did you get me? Miss Paula for Christmas, by the way.

I got her a savage 6.5 creed mold. Uh-oh. With Vortex goat. Uh-oh. Be sure she doesn't listen to this on Christmas Eve. She's already got it. She's already got it. I give it to her about four days before we went on that hunt.

Oh, there we are. Yeah. That's why I asked him. I knew what he got. I got her some accessories to go with it. She don't know. Guy one comes to me last week. He said, I got to leave early.

I got to run an errand. And I was like, well, that's weird. Got to run an errand. He don't say that often. And then he showed up the next day with a brand new rifle. I said, oh, that's the errand you had to run. I got you. That's a good errand.

No problem. Well, it's hard to find because she's right-handed, but she's left-eyed dominant. So them left-handed guns are hard to get old to. Guaranteed, yeah. They're the only ones in their right mind if you ask them. That's what's funny. It is. But.

Cy, what about you? What did you get, Ms. for Christmas. I've already got it. What did you get? I got her a pullover. It's real soft and real warm. She's cold all the time. It's a good gift.

You got any special designs on it? No. Just a picture. Just a white pillow. It's just a white pillow. That's real soft. No, I ain't a zip-up. This is pull-over, period. With a hoodie. A hoodie.

Oh. And it's really just It's like mashed potatoes. That soft. It's like mashed potatoes. It's like mashed potatoes. Like wearing clouds. Oh, yeah.

To get that fur around the end of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Mashed potatoes. Oh, you ain't never just grabbed a handful of mashed potatoes? I use a fork or a spoon. No, no. Well, see, I just like to grab a handful of it.

He likes to fondle his food before he eats it. No, that's when I'm fixed to slap it to my face. How many times have you hit somebody in the face with nice to face? Oh, quite a few times. Yeah, quite a few times. I'm never going to eat lunch with a son. Never go to come to the house, J.D. I would have to pop you good.

Just by the time you take it first bite. Now, have a real bite. Here's a real bite of mashed potatoes. Uh-oh, boys. God wants to go back. He's going back in, boys. I got it. have something to sop his coffee up.

Oh, he's going to pop his coffee up, boys. Oh, well, we're back on. Now that we're back on that food. Martin, well, hold on. Are you getting Britney anything for Christmas? No, we're not doing Christmas for each other. But you, you take time. You're a time man.

Uh-huh. I give her three days a year a duck season for Christmas. She gets the 24th, the 25th, and half of the 26th. Only half of it. Well, the other half spent driving back from Nashville. So that's part of my gift. Oh, that's where she's from? Yeah.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Originally. Originally. Now she's a redneck down here. I took her from a hillbilly to a redneck. So you know what I'm saying? A redneck hillbillet.

Yeah, guaranteed. I like it. Redneck hillbillies. A red billy or a hill neck, I guess, whatever you want to call. It's all good. But no, we've got some stuff we want to do to the house. So that'll be. Bigger bathtub?

No, not a bigger bathtub. The bathroom was last year. Yeah, we got some other stuff we're going to do. So that's the kind of stuff we generally do for Christmas, which is awesome. Because unlike you, I don't have a birthday anniversary and Christmas all in a two-week time span. But knock them out. That's him. That's deadly.

I just birthday the seventh, anniversary, the 18th, then Christmas. Yeah. So I'm thinking about setting up a go-fund me. So my children can eat because. All we have is presents for my wife. One month man here. Everything goes on in the month of Christmas, boys. I knock it all at once.

Well, that's pretty cool, J.D. I like it. Take 11 months to build back up. Other than that. That's why, Paul, our anniversary and her birthday is in the same month. So, yeah, I knock it out with one. I just get it at the first of April, and I'm covered until when. I don't know, the whole month. You get to throw Mother's Day in there too then.

Yep. All of it right there together. I got about that. I can forget about Mother's Day. That's a scary one. Yeah, that's a, hey, but then mothers, they make the world go around. I messed up one time. I asked her, I said, what do you want for Christmas?

Nothing. So I didn't get her nothing. That's a bad move. That's a trick play, ain't it? Yeah. Yeah. That's always a trick play. Don't believe it.

Just don't believe it. It's a trap. Always have a candle on hand. Yeah. Brittany gets annoyed at me because my answer is always the same thing. Socks and underwear. That's what I want for Christmas, from everybody. Because then I ain't got to buy them the rest of the year.

It works out perfect. You get a new stash at Christmas every year. Throw the old ones away, replenish, and let's roll. So don't hang around Martin for the next week or so. Yeah, we run in thin right now. Hey, at the end of the year, you don't want to hang with it, boys. Yeah, buddy. We're on them holy ones now.

Yeah. Oh, but it is. You're so boring. That and like a seven-pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Those are. Cachshy. Cachios. Cachews.

No. Christmas tree cakes. Or pecans. I'm like you. Crack pecans. Man. They all. Cachian.

Eminem peanuts, boys. Oh. Oh, that's what Paula like. Yeah. The big ones. Oh, yeah. That big old, that big old Mando bag. Yeah, not the small ones.

Yes. The big ones. Yeah, buddy. We get them somewhere now. And you wonder how we get to the size we are. Next week, Starbursts and Skittles. Next week, sponsors are Starbucks and Skitters. Skitters.

Skitters. Skitters. Yep. Clear some land, man. That is unbelievable. I was at the store yesterday, and you know what's incredible? They already have Valentine's candy out. Ooh.

Chocolate. Like, we're still a week from Christmas. No, we skip holidays now. Yeah. My Christmas tree was up before Thanksgiving. Yeah, I drew a hard line in the sand on that one. Brittany said, we did get the Christmas stuff out like first of November. I said, I'll get it out Thanksgiving afternoon.

That's when I'll get it out of the attic. That's the only time you're bringing out, boys. Thanksgiving is gone. Well, yeah, then you forget about Thanksgiving if you get it up before then. This year, my wife said, nope, 2020, Christmas tree is going up. And I was like, I don't think I'm going to argue. Maybe y'all should leave it up. November 1st, Christmas tree.

Leave it up and decorate it with the seasons now. If that's where we're at, just leave it up year-round. Put hearts on it. Right four of February. Then put eggs in it, Easter eggs, and then, you know, put something for summer. I don't know, a lawn chair. This is all around tree. Yeah.

I mean, if we. Bring to my house and decorate it with, you know, hindoos. Them long wheel base can. It's all the hard to hash. size of sigh what did you put on your christmas list on my list yeah what did you what do you want for

Christmas? Zero Well how are we supposed to see that's a trap we ain't gonna buy you up no it ain't gonna talk to you after hey no I don't care I don't need nothing for us Hey get that tree away from me

It ain't got hondoes on it All right So sigh wants hondoes for Christmas Anybody interested in giving them a Christmas present he'll take hondoes just attention john david owen send it to the warehouse and i will get it to him yeah we'll make sure we get all of it to him i don't know if i trust you jd if a tree come in with hondoes on it if it came in with hondos on it it'd leave with at least one hondo on it yeah there's a finder they'll leave me one boys there's a tax this is america taxes are rich tax okay boys all right well let's roll into our

next break and then we'll i think we'll come back and have some fun that's the That sounds like a winner. In the spirit of Christmas, I just, I need to know how many more cakes are in this box. No, I know there's five in there. No, there's five. He knows how many is in there, pretty. Let me rephrase that. There were five in there.

There were five. I don't know what we're at now. He don't know where we're at now. I just, I'm really legitimately curious to know Sire's favorite Christmas movie. That's a heated subject. Yeah, I know. Well, no, no. I'm trying to think.

The star is Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart. We're going to need Google on this one. Shane? No. Is this like? He's an American actor. Oh, is it the wonderful life?

The wonderful life. It's a wonderful life? That's it. It's a wonderful life. That's your favorite Christmas movie? Yep. Have you seen Elf? I really pegged you as an elf man.

I really do. Yeah. No. You haven't seen Elf? No, who stars in it? Is that? Will Farrell. Okay.

No. Oh, Si, Elf is a classic. It's a classic. It ain't not for me. You don't do nothing for me. Oh, you need to watch it.

I've seen it. As of late, size had a bad experience with movies anyway. So. So what's the last movie you went and saw the theaters? Oh, that would be, what is that stupid? The teddy bear.

Okay. Look, I went to this stupid movie and thinking it was rated PG. Okay, and I should have raided that baby like triple X. Okay, to say I was disappointed. Yeah, yeah. A teddy bear, a teddy bear doing drugs, you know, all this other junk.

Yeah, no. So you went and saw Ted at the theater? Oh, no, yeah, I was shocked, okay, because I'm serious. You know, Jason and him said, that's never been rated PG. I said, Jay, somewhere they put it on. and it was rated PG. I said that would have been the only reason I would have went to that stupid movie. Now, I started to get up and walk out, but I already paid my money, so I didn't say, well, you know, I'm going to watch this stupid thing.

I said, it's got better. No, it got worse. So, yeah, yeah. So you didn't go see Ted, too? No, no. They didn't know. No, hey, they give me once, same on me, give me twice, same on me. Okay, so no, I ain't going to pull that stun again.

Good grief. I never saw it, but it is, in fact, rated R. You know, it's a raunchy movie. Oh, yeah. I remember what he came in and told us that. He was just all beside himself. It really made me mad. I said, I can't believe, you know,

because there was a bunch of kids in the theater. So if it's Christmas Eve and you're looking for something to watch. Do not go watch Ted. Okay. It is not a family show. It's not a family show. Please. Regardless of how they rated it, don't go see it, okay, because it's underrated.

Oh, man. Well, what do you think about National Lampoon is the Christmas vacation? Oh, like Christmas vacation, don't you? Yeah, it was funny. It was funny. The Jelly of the Month Club. Yeah, well, you know. That's real nice, Clark.

I liked it when they got in the bees into the desert, and he got in the car, and the bee was trapped in there. Oh, he's talking about a, is that Vegas vacation? or just vacation? All I know is something about a vacation. Yeah. My Christmas vacation ain't, isn't the day? I can relate to that because I've had a lot of B episodes, okay?

While driving? You've had a lot of... Anywhere. Yeah. Driving, up and raiding a back hole. And you just got tore up by... Oh, no, yeah. The ground bees.

I was digging, doing some work with a back hole. Wrong move, son. Yeah. One scoop. Uh-oh, one scoop, and here they come. You know, look, when I found it, the nestled about that big around. They doop.

Oh, yeah. Oh, no, it was one of these double doopchin deals. Multiple poptions, boys. Yeah, it was rough. And hey, the back hole was still running. Yeah. I fell out. Like when Phil kind does it go in and getting that stupid bee have at night.

That's dumb. That's so dumb. Hanging up in the tree. Usually they're made and put it inside, you know, bees building inside the tree. in a hole. No, this was just hanging on a limb. Yep.

Outside. And there we went. And here we went. Okay, that's rob the beach here. Okay. Prow, pow, pow. But, hey, I do this. I've been on this rodeo before.

So this kid hung back, you know, and I watched the fun. Yeah. Well, he got dope pop. Jay's got dope pop. I got dope pop. Martin got dopeop. Manfield back in the back. Yeah.

Out of range, boy. He was right. They do not. They don't fly at night. but they still possess the ability to sting it. Oh no, no, no, yeah. They get on you.

Yeah, they told me when I was hauling hay as a youngster. He said, hey, you know, if you hold your breath, they can't sting you. You fail for that? Oh, yeah. That's a lie. Yeah. That's a lie.

Okay. Because they said, well, it made sense what they said. If you hold your breath, you're pores. Close, clothes. Okay, so it made sense until they, pang, ow, ow, oh. they open up then don't you hey yeah

there's an air leak then we got a leak boys they don't punch the hole in this little thing my grandpa used to tell me what every day of the week it was that they didn't sting on that day I bought that one for a little while till I got stung on all seven days of the week all seven days you're like grandpa you're alive

yeah this day ends and why they don't stink every time we'd be cleaning hedges or deer stand or something me by oh it's all right they don't they don't sting on Friday yeah they do they in fact sting on a Friday the coolest thing that me and my father did when I was a kid we're sitting on the porch in the summertime whenever whenever the bees swarm we're sitting on the porch and here comes just a black ball you know and this lady had their purple and their vines oh yeah like wisteria yeah beautiful things and she had a whole veranda over her house back porch

porch okay with them things here they come they made about two or three circles and then lit and I'm telling you that there was a ball of them that big around on this vine and dad grabbed the hammer went to the shed behind the deal there and he just knocked that pine knot out he said I'll fix it up when I get get ready yeah so he's come with me you know and we're walking toward them bees and I said, what do we do it? He said, I'm going to cut the limb at vine and you hold it, hold it while I cut the other one. Then we're going to walk around. He set two chairs right in front of that pine knot. And he said, we're going to walk around there and then we're going to have a beehive, our own private beehive. Y'all and when he's done it, he's walked up and started

whittling, you know, cutting that vine. I'm hanging back. He said, get up here, boy, and I said, daddy, them are bees, they sting. He's, boy, I can get up here. So I get up and I'm literally shaking. He said, quit shaking. You're going to get a stung. You know, so I said, yeah, okay. That's easier to sit than done there, Dad. Anyway, he cut the other end off and we gently walk about 50 yards

with these stupid ball of bees. And they're, you know, get crazy. We finally set him down. He sits down and sits there for about 15 minutes. And that queen bee finally rolls up on top. and he just flexed that queen bee in that lot hole

and they jump up and here they go and from then on years and years and years afterwards he just took a skill saw you know cut out of square yeah and nailed it back up

had two nails just pull the nails grab it easy it off Phil robbed it one year okay he had him a B-suit on he had about eight football jersey his own you know had four or five pants on, okay, and he made him a hat out of screen wire.

Okay, and he was out there's something. Hey, I got it made, man, no follow. So look, he took the two nails out, grabbed that piece of board, which was about a, what, well, three by three, I guess, three foot by three foot. And he just turned around, he didn't do it. The back of it was covered with a honeycomb and bees. He just threw it down. And when he did, you could not even.

and see his shirt jersey or pants and he was just running ah they ate him up we're all in the house just dying laughing you know there's something funny about the right oh no it's always funny when it happens to the other person oh there's something funny about a man getting stung oh no because look we're squirrel hunting one day and fieldgold crosses the fence and it's got a rotten fence post on it. Well, he shakes it up, guess what's in this fence post? Bumblebee.

Bumblebee. Gotta be, yeah. Okay, look, so he goes through, and he's walking ahead of me, I go through and when I bend over here, rip. Uh-oh, I don't rip my pants. Well, guess what's hanging out?

White underwear. A beacon. Oh, no, no, look, so I'm running and I trip, and I had read somewhere or seen it on TV, you know, they'll fly over you if you drip. Oh, no.

Hey, this was like the bombing days of Germany, you know. There's the target. I'm leading you in, boys. 27 times. Hey, hey. I looked like a woman for about two months. Okay, I had a big rear end, boys. You know, my mother was back there with tweezers,

and every time she'd pull a string out, she'd be cackle like. a hand laying an egg. I said, it ain't that funny, mama. She said, oh, yes, it is. If you could see your rear end, you would know why I'm laughing. Oh, you had to sleep on your stomach for a while, didn't you?

Look, and then one time, as kids, we used to, though, we'd go out by the barn, or the chicken coop, and bees always bore a hole. Bama bees bore a hole in wood. Y'all make a nest, all that. So we'd go out there with a little, we call it just a bumble bee bat.

You know, you just cut shit a little boar and, You know, the wood cartel, whack him. Oh, them carpenter babies. Oh, yeah. Okay, so look, don't ever hit one if you don't put it on him right. Because by the time you popped him and he hit the ground, the next thing was, one stugged me right on the ends of the nose.

Okay, for a week and a half, I had to walk sideways because I was Jimmy Durani's brother. My nose was this big around. It was Jimmy Jury. But hey, it was rough, boys. You thought we got a laugh at it. It's cool. Good, girl.

You had to walk sideways so you could see. Oh, no. Hey. So here it comes, y'all. All you can see is nose. Coming down the hall, boys. Oh, man. That's good stuff.

I don't know how we switch from Christmas to B stories. I know. But I'm glad we did. I love them. I'm telling you. Yeah. Man, there is something. The worst one I ever had was when I was in college.

doing my wood duck boxes. Yeah. Bees like we've talked about are cavity nesters. Yeah. And I got in a trance, wasn't even paying attention. I was just messing with my wood duck boxes. And I went up there and I peeled that door off that thing.

And buddy. Hello. Before I knew what happened. I was eight smooth up. And I just running as fast as I can run. And then jumped in a ditch full of water. I got wet. I still got stung.

I got wet. Oh, that remind me. But I still ain't went and put that door back on that wood duck box. I said, y'all can have it. I don't need it. Did I tell you all about my mean uncle? Uh-uh. My mother's brother, F.M. Hale.

All right. Well, hold on. Let's take a break, and you get on that mean uncle when we get back. How about that? Everybody got a mean uncle around Christmas. That boys. Oh, hey. No, it was all year with this cat.

He's not mean at all. No, our uncle here is fantastic. All right. One time he, he ain't got a mean by. on his body, boys. One time he dressed up as a Christmas elf. I'm just excited because America's favorite uncle is about to tell us stories about his mean uncle.

Yeah. Well, let's hear about Uncle F.M. Hey, look, he had one of them, 1965 is an old Army Jeep. They had a name for it. Willis? Willis, yeah. Willis.

Okay, he had a Willis Jeep, and it had the hard top with windows. Okay, and then the little back in on it. Well, he had to go check his oil leases, and there was also bass ponds and he always took his rod and wheel with him. So we were there, how can we go with you? Yeah, you go, we'll get in the back.

So these are dirt roads, you know, and he's going, checking the leases, you know, make sure, you know, all right. Well, he's coming around with the road forks. It wise. Well, right in the middle of that fork is the big old bush, and on that bush is a purple-tailed washmaster about, oh, about that big around, and hey, it is something.

purple. Okay, so it's probably got 500 to a thousand purple tails on it, okay? So he comes around, he hangs a hard ride, stopped, put it in reverse, backs up in the bush, shut the engine off, and he's sitting up front laughing.

While we are just getting tore up. Because, hey, he doesn't back us in the bush. So we're trying to get out of the bush and the purple tails or having the party boys. You know,

oh, you're talking about it ate us up. So your uncle just puts you in a nest of watch? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And that's why you're the way you are today. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The whole family, the hails and the hobbsies, they're a mean bunch.

They got a mean cruel straight to them. I'm saying that's why you're such a wonderful uncle. Oh, no, no, no. But hey, look, with this kind of kin folks, there's never a dull moment

when they live next door to you. Okay, so there's always something going on. I would imagine. Man, I've been there. He was just wanting you to tear up that nest. He's going to go back. No, he got what he wanted.

He's going to get that larvae so he could go fishing. No, it was a three-rig circus, and we're the ones in the ring. Okay. Oh, I've done it before fishing. Them old purple tails be on them cypress trees, and you ain't paying no attention. Bomp in, too, were you a cravie fishing? Oh, man, we're just doop you.

Yeah. I did it this year. I didn't get, me and, me and Hunter missed a fine chance at getting doop this year of fishing. We ran smooth into a stunk slam full of them. And I was down there taking off a bass, and I saw them. I heard him. I heard him. I said, uh-oh.

I told Hunter, I said, go straight, go fast, go straight, go fast. He jumped up there on a troller motor, put that thing on 10, and we got out of there, so. I'm trying to remember where it was out there somewhere we filmed. Same place you chased me with rattlesnake out there on that lake. Oh, yeah. And we went out there and it was a big old, big old rotten tree. And look, the hole, it was just honey leaking, dripping out of the hole. You know, and everybody was saying, somebody kept saying,

let's go down there by their old rotten tree. You know, and I said, no. And everybody said, what did you tell me that man, let's go down there? We ain't tried by the rotten tree. We may get something. He said, I think this world out of it. I said, we ain't going down there by that rotten tree. I said, you're not looking up far enough.

I said, that thing's full of honeybees. Uh-huh. And they said, they will eat you up. Yeah, I remember that. I don't, yeah, well, that was up, where were we at? Up at that place in Oak Grove. It was somewhere up there. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember that because we went up there and looked and said, no, uh-uh. This ain't it, boys. He's going to climb up there and get it. Man, we want to get some of the honey, but no, I don't think so. No, this ain't. No, this is going to be one of them, yeah, you fix to get wet. And stung. Yeah.

This is a two-dope in here. I ain't. Wet and stung. I ain't going. Because, hey, we wanted to honey, but no, it wasn't worth that. It wasn't worth that much, was it? Oh, Lord, have mercy. And that was a big, big hunting, bunch of bees.

Mm-hmm. Because it was literally running like volcanic, you know, out of that tree dripping down the side. Franks and games. That's back to, what do y'all do Christmas Eve? when y'all get together. Y'all get together as a family. Y'all do stuff. Mainly feed our face when we get together now.

Cook. Yeah, I remember my first Robertson Christmas when I first started working around here. They was like, you come for Christmas Eve? I was like, well, yeah, man, I'll come stop by because y'all do it like middle of the afternoon anyway, like 3 o'clock. And I remember when I showed up, it was my first time to experience a seafood Christmas.

I had never been a part of a seafood Christmas. It was incredible. Break out the food, boys. Oh, was it good? That little, that all grott and stuff feel makes it, well, you can hurt yourself on that one. Both then and later. You can hurt yourself both. Yeah, it hurts you twice.

Yeah, both ways. It's a tad on the rich side. Let's just put it that way. It's a 12 hour later pain. No, no, not 12, about three and a half, four. It don't take long for that heavy cream to do what heavy cream. does. It just, yeah.

Christmas as a kid, though, was fantastic. We would get one major gift, like Ben Phil, he got a pellet gun, I got a old daisy baby gun. Okay, but the other part. You got the pellets. Yeah. No, no. That's about the truth, though, you know.

That's why we was with Daddy shotgun. You know, we're supposed to say, you shoot one, I shoot one. Now, I would say, is that a squirrel boom? Yeah. Yeah. I'd say, is that boom? So I went with him one day and I said, no, I ain't one. I said, hand me the gun.

You know, he handed to him, boom. You got your one. Yeah, I finally, I forgot. No, don't say, is that boom? No, no, no. I ain't no way. But the whole thing about Christmas when we as a kid was, we'd get one major gifts, and then the rest of it would be,

mama would buy all kinds of, like, she'd order California oranges that they were that big around. freshly picked off the tree. You're good, and then she'd order all kinds of walnuts and stuff, and we'd build a big fire in the fireplace, and then sit there and eat them walnuts. Look, we just had a place that we had not cracked so many that we just had a holder.

Set it up and crack it. And then eat, you know, eat your walnut. Eat your belly full of wall. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That and then with those potatoes, go get five or six small potatoes, throw it in the fireplace, let them cook it, and then, hey, roll them out and, hey, eat them.

Interesting. I never had a tater, though, one. Oh, yeah, no, no. It's got to hide on it, it ain't going to get dirty. Yeah, that's interesting. Interesting. I want to do that. Yeah, the whole family, you know, the whole, we done as a family.

I'm going home, build a fire. That's right, both build a far, boys. Goblin, what do y'all do you do on Christmas? We have the Godwin reindeer. games. The Cowan, Reindeer, Rain. Games. Game.

Oh, yeah. I'll get some stuff, a bunch of games you got to do. You'll have, let's say one time we had a bunch of balloons, and you put them in stockings, and you had to put it on people, and they had to hold a spoon with an egg in it. Because in balloons, you can't hardly walk. You got them on your legs, too, and you got a race. to the front.

In one game we played, we had to get, she had a list. We divide up in teams, and you'd have to get stuff, like a dime, a fork. She had one time,

she had a branch, and we was winning on my team. Everybody hit the door, headed outside. I just went over to the Christmas tree, broke that limbaugh. I said, I was like,

I said, Hey, we win. Yeah. You said a branch. You didn't say wear it. You just say wear it. I said, get that Christmas story. But it's pretty fun.

We got a trophy. We pass it around every year. Pretty neat. All kind of stuff. That's a good time, man. Paul and Johanna, when she was still living with us, baby, her and Paul had made Jesus a birthday cake. I can appreciate that.

That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's all right there. I just played Siegford Center up in Oklahoma. Do you have played Secret Santa? Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I want Mr. Christine, that nice pullover. Yeah, we always... Talking about it, will soft his mass pretentions.

Yeah, I remember that. Oh, so you won her gift? Yeah. That's all right there. I can appreciate that. That's all right. I, uh, we always do one of them, you know, kind of the oddball gifts, what they call? Dirty Santa, Tacky Sand or whatever.

Joke. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll tell y'all what I got this year. It's a calendar. and all the pictures of it are dogs taking a poop. And it's fantastic. Because every time I see a dog relieving himself like that,

I stop and get tickled. Yeah, tell me, hey, I get too lie. I get tickled. I got to go on that. Al does that. Okay, Kay does it. Joke Gills. Yeah.

So where, y'all, they pass them out, and Al and said, hey, this is special. Tell me, man, we had to look everywhere since you're so hard to, you know, shop for. And I said, okay, you know, so I opened it up and it's called the bod. Okay. No, no. My wife loves it.

Oh, the spray? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, look, you know, it was supposed to be a joke. I told her out of Lisa, I said, hey, my wife thanks y'all so much for that. And they said, what? It was a joke. And I said, no, there ain't no joke.

I said, with the, the older one I use and the, the, I said, this woman won't ever leave me alone. He's back, baby. I said, so, hey, I really appreciate that little joke guilt because the joke's on y'all. The studster. Sorry about that, Ms. Christine. I think that's going to send us to our last break. Bob by side.

Well, Johnny D, it's our favorite time of the week. This is when we get to give our fans a little love back here. So for all of y'all that have taken the time to reach out at hello at duck callroom.com, we do appreciate you. We work our way through them. And Johnny D, this is where you shine. Who we got on the duck call room hotline? Is that what we want to call it this week? What did you find interesting?

I wasn't ready at all, by the way. Oh, Daddy. Hashtag you had one job. I thought we were still talking about Christmas. I hadn't got to talk about jingle all the way yet, but we'll save that for next year. I throw it in here. It's just a great movie.

Jingle all the way. Watch it. No, I... You'll put your eye out. Different movie. Also a great movie. But, no, I do want this as a Christmas gift to myself. Someone, and I don't have the name because Martin caught me off guard,

wanted to hear more about Godwin. Yep, there it is. Diane Singleton. Godwin is her favorite from the podcast because he was a bull rider. And I did not know that until I read the words he was a bull rider. You didn't know I rode Bull. I did not know you were a bull rider and she wanted to hear more about your bull riding days. Give us your best bull riding story, Gawling.

Best bull riding. Golly. So many of them. They're only eight seconds apiece. I was just going to say give us your best bull. basketball was 15. That was his number. I was wanting him, and I drawed him and I drawed him at the Coliseum.

And I remember calling for him, got a good seat on him, called for him. And then I remember seeing my buddy there holding my boots and spurs in his hand. He said, if you die, can I have you have you? boots and spires. Oh. He jerked me down, knocked me out. So 15-1, that exchange.

15-1, that. Okay. That's what I formed. I figured it said somebody was holding your boots and spurs. I was saying, and then he woke up in the hospital. No.

What happened? I didn't, I didn't make, I never went to the hospital. Should you have? Maybe. I got stepped on a couple times. I couldn't hardly breathe one time. and, man.

Was you the whole package, cowboy boots and hat and all, belt buckle, big belt buckle? Yeah, didn't have a belt buckle. Oh, didn't have a belt buckle, boys. Didn't win one. I never, I won some local stuff, but nothing big. But I liked it. One of my buddies got hurt.

He got stepped on, and I'll never forget this. Boy, he couldn't, he punctured the lung, broke a bunch of ribs. Well, it didn't, his lungs collapsed. And his folks, I finally got a hoat to them. They got down there. And I told his mom, I said, he looks bad. He's hooked up on a bunch of stuff. I said, but he's fine.

He's stable. He's good. And she walked in there. She said, oh, I hope you've learned something over there. He said, yes, ma'am, I've got to get over up front end a little more. That's right. Tom, I do better than leaning back. It ain't over a climber.

Yeah, that's nice. And Miss Paula, she used to ride, chase them cans, you know, but they got to do something while they load bulls, you know. Barrel racing. You're a bull rider, and Miss Paula is the barrel. I never do it. See, hey, you think you know people, you don't know. No, you don't know.

Well. I'd have to tell her. I said, I'm just, I'm shocked that you're a bull rider. What you don't know by Galvin, because everybody's experience with him is, you know, the nice laid-back, all that. The boy's an adrenaline junkie. Thank you. Motorcross racer.

He's an adventurous. Yeah. Boil riders. Roller coasters, I love roller coasters. And if you get in a boat with him, he has got to find that little flat piece of metal behind that hot foot that stops it. I mean, it is just pedal. He screw that down to the floorboat.

Pedal to the metal. So when you get in with him. It's like, oh, Godwin, is that you? I give up. Somebody's buzzing. Godwin. He didn't call me twice. He didn't answer the first time.

That's my dear, that's Ms. Paula's dear meet, Truddy. Okay. We'll be there shortly. What else you got, Sean? My name is John, David. What else you got, jingles? Jingles. Well, you got the hat on.

Hey, I love Christmas, and we do have, somebody sent in, a couple Christmas questions. Wendy Tidwell out of Jasper, Alabama. Fake tree or real tree? Go. I'm a fake guy. It says real tree on your hat. Just pointing that out.

I know. Well, the real one in theory is better than a fake one. Unless you're talking about a Christmas tree. Godwin? We always, the day after Thanksgiving, now the first Sunday after Thanksgiving, after church, we go cut it. a Christmas tree and put it up.

I can appreciate that. I'm a galvan. Real tree. Because the family, that was one of the things that a family used to do. Yeah. We'd go out and either find a cedar tree,

and then if we couldn't find a cedar tree, you'd have to use a pine tree. Yeah. Which, the pine trees department. Cedar tree is always better because it leaves the aroma in the house. Yeah. Yeah, we go with fake tree and a cedar candle.

There you go. Well, he's got the spirit of it anyway, okay? Hey, we got some smells. He brought in the fake camera. Yeah, I head up to my attic every year and bring a box down with a tree in it. Yeah. We used to do the real tree, but then when you get rid of them, you go set them on fire, and it makes me so nervous. No, no, no.

No, no. You don't set them on fire. You take them to the lake and sink them. And then you've got a croppy hole. Tell him, Cy. Yeah. Tell him. I'm going to be so, I don't need my own property.

Oh, you ain't going to be so. Your dad sells fishing stuff Exactly, I don't need a hole I just go with other people There we go, I'm getting them sorry I give you a size J-D, boy You didn't know that did you about me For all you're driving to your family Christmas

Si is punching me and massaging me all at once No, I don't need to sink a treat Plus sitting on fire is kind of fun But it made me nervous with that in my house Oh, you're a paromaniac What did I do? Pirot, pyro-piro man Pirot

Pyro Panic boys But yeah, I don't need my own hole I'm just going with one of y'all to go Yeah. Tile roll. And then her other Christmas question was colored lights or white lights? You're a colored light guy. Oh, yeah.

Hey, how'd you know I was a colored light? No one when I see one. Hey, man. He knows these lights people, boys. My wife is all about them white lights. I think it's a modern thing. Did you put lights up on your house? Uh-uh, not this year.

I did last year. Why not this year? We ran out of time. My wife is in graduate school, and she's, The head of the decorating department. Okay. I'm just head of installation. So she don't like color lights?

No, she likes a white one. That's weird. Yeah. You know, that strikes me as weird. Yeah. She has a very colorful personality. Oh, no. Well, I'm a matter.

Yeah. Your woman is very colorful. Okay. Trust me. Oh, but she likes white lights. I don't, it's bizarre. The guy of them? I don't have a preference.

I'll go with either one. Hey. No, the reason that's weird to me, she's from Nashville for crying out loud. And yet she just likes the white light, boys. I'm a white light guy. I put up lights every, that's my thing. Like some people's things are yard.

My thing's my Christmas lights. I'm way better at installation than I am decoration. I put them up one year and I said, a little steep for me. Oh, I don't get on top of my roof. My roof is steep. I did one. The first year I was like,

I'm going to put wreaths up on those windows. And I almost fell off the roof. and I was like, nah. Yeah, the return on that investment's minimal. Decorate the porch. I ground the pockets off my pants. You did what? Oh, ground the pockets off your pants.

Did you fall off? No. Well, that's good. But I almost did. I thought I was. I made it about two steps and said, nah. Yeah, I tried that one time and I got a whole new respect for roofers.

And I said, why do you boys stay up there? I don't get. I've done that job before. No. It ain't there. Well, Sa, what you got for is close us out. Let's hear what you got. All right.

I got hung up in Proverbs 10, boys. I love it. Proverbs 10. All right, boy, let me see what we got here. Let's see. It is so many that it's hard to give you just one. All right, let's see. The wages of the righteous bring them life.

But the income of the wicked brings them punishment. Hey, let's do that again. Move your mic a little closer to the mouth. You didn't get it right? Yeah. The wages of the righteous bring them life, but the income of the wicked brings them punishment. Ha, I hear it.

There's another like. That's the it, boys, which one? I'm looking for the... Yeah, okay. Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment. I got you.

And with that, we're out. That's all we got for you, boys. Merry Christmas, everybody. That's right, and a happy new year. Merry Christmas.