Duck Call Room - Godwin Enters the Final Countdown to Being a Grandpa

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Godwin enters the home stretch before entering Grandpa-ville, and Martin relives the chaotic moment a child’s shotgun went rogue and nearly took him out. John-David is over the moon about the wild goose that exploded through a UPS driver’s windshield and somehow flew away, while Si goes from omelet debates to life advice in record time, dropping his signature line about what to do when your life totally stinks. Plus, Phil’s no-shower and “space beam” theories get reality-checked. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're cleaning them crops, I might start using gloves. Well, you're cleaning too many? Drop them off at my house. You're cleaning too many of them. Right here, you'll get a scabb right there. Oh, you poor thing. Man, retirement must stink. That's where that trigger depresses on that electric knife.

Oh, no. That's the same time with my shotgun. The trigger. I rub a big, big blister right there. I know. On my banana shotgun. And I don't know why. We need to hold on to a tire.

You want to talk about problems we got. I know. Well, I've got that ties. He don't want to retire. There's too many decisions to make. Oh, I sit when you retire. It's just too many decisions. Do I go this morning or do I make it as well as go to noon?

Yeah. Or do I chase Paula around? Or do I take Paula with me? Do I get on a deer stand? Do I get in the boat? That's right. Go deer hunting or get the boat. What all decisions do you make each night?

every day, Sire? Check my eyelids. So I got to decide. Wake up every morning and decide to breathe. What time? Oh, the only time I got to decide. I ain't another one. It's how long am I going to sleep this morning?

How long? What am I going? Oh, and I'm going to. How do you describe this on an omelet? A omelet? A omelet? By the good looking woman that's cooking it for me. What?

Hunter just lost it on that one. Well, hey, I can't have it. Hey, because when you said that... Hunter just cracked up. You said that, I remember a jet landed at the airport up here. Oh, yeah. From the Seminole's. I was on.

Seminole. Look, when they opened the thing for us to walk on, a good-looking Seminole Indian woman opened it. And then she said when we come in, would you like an omnis, sir? Yeah. I like how that's where your mind goes. That's not what I was telling my dating days.

Hunter said, we can't run that. And I said, Hunter, that's the best time in my life. What do you mean you can't run it? Hey, you've got to run that, son. You know. Well, hey, there's children. Everybody knows that I'm a lover. Oh, boy.

You ain't a fighter? I ain't a fighter. He's a lover. I'll run away from a fight, but I'll chase a woman for miles. One mile. Hey, you got me started, boys. I love the girl. I love these.

He did not get you started. He asked how you like omelets. He said, do you like omelets? And you were like, you know what I do like? Lady. Well, hey, when he said omelets, hey. I think he was setting up one of his famous dad jokes. I know.

And Syah just said, no. We're going this way. No. Because I think about all the omelets I've eat at the Waffle House, and I don't think I'd describe them by the look of the cook. Oh. Oh. I just thought they were excellent.

See? There you go. They're excellent. See, y'all not, y'all not like being guys. Y'all got to get some romance in your life, guys. Good. What are you talking about?

I am not. Hey. I am not wearing a red speed of. I mean, I might. Hey, but. I got one. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'll wear it.

Hey. Hold on. Hold on. Just because whenever he says omelet, I don't immediately go to women. It does not make me not romantic. I know. I think a white.

Or wheat. But at some point. The women or the omelet? At some point, you do have to crack some eggs. Hey. Hey, you got to crack an egg to make an omelet, Jack. There you go. Omelets are weird.

Hey. They're good. But why? Why not to eat eggs? You can stuff with all kind of stuff. No, no. See, y'all have brought me. I would think you'd like an omelet.

It's like pizza of the breakfast. No, no. Here's the thing. Y'all have brought me to what I wanted to talk about. I don't know how we got to. No, no. We're talking about Lunt. What we're going to do for Lunt.

You guys like omelets? I want to talk about this girl I saw one time, which brings me exactly where I wanted to do. Well, hey, my question is, hey, how is life treating you today? What? That's right. That's what I want to talk about. How is life treating you?

Because, hey, look, you got to think about you. The creator of the universe made that woman on the plane. No, no. heaven and came to earth and he did it for one reason omelets i i didn't come to judge you i come to save you but mainly what i came for was hey to bring you life and it abundant life they brought me abundant croppy yesterday what hey there's a deal here's the deal did it make you happy it sure did well hey was the joy in your soul i guarantee you i tell you see that's I mean, I totally agree with everything you just said.

I just don't know the line. Well, no, no, because here's what to deal. I remember the day, okay, that I, I guess you would call it, finally just hit rock bottom. Okay. Okay. Like nothing in my life, okay, I've got all these desires, and none of them was being fulfilled.

In other words, my life just, stink to high heaven. Okay. We didn't think it at the time. Yeah. You know, that's why I wanted to talk about life. How is life treating you? Well, hey, look, you're, you've got all these desires that you want. They're not being fulfilled.

Well, my question is, hey, maybe you need to look at how you're living that life. What you've been reading, sir? Oh, I just, hey, no, I just, I was, uh, I was going to, asking would he have been drinking. No, I've been listening. No, I'm just saying the fact that he listened to our conversation and got back to here. That's about, no,

that's about one thing, here's what brought this on. Not the thought of us. I'm listening to Christmas music on, on, I want a hip-a-hop. On the, gospel,

gospel channel. That Lauren Daigle can sing that No-Well song. Oh, no. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Yeah. But anyway, and it got me to thank you.

Okay. Yeah, because look, I go by people all the time. Yeah. They're miserable. Yeah. Well, you need to look. Your desires are not being fulfilled. You need to look at how you're living, how do I want a word yes?

I don't know. What, uh. Carefully. Let's say, no. With omelets. What standard are you trying to achieve or trying to live up to? maybe your standards are wrong. Yeah, well, I've been there.

You don't have no standard. Well, no, no. You don't have no gold. That's what I'm getting at. Look, the creator has told you, I came down to bring you life and to bring it abundantly. Abundity.

Well, that's what do you say? You're not. That's a promise. Yeah. Y'all, this is God Almighty himself talking. Well, you may need to change your lifestyle your direction. Here's, oh, here's a teaser for you.

When he said that, we're going full Bible study here, did he mean eternal life? Is that abundant life? Or did he mean abundant life on earth? He means now, now, forever. So right now. People can have an abundant life. Hey. I can have a clean conscience. That's pretty abundant. Yeah, then you got to decide what abundance is. about, okay, in the heavenly realms,

we're already in there. And the heavenly, I don't know. Then in First Peter, no. I don't know, but we're already there. Okay. Okay, and that's why I was talking about, okay, hey, if your life sucks, then you're doing something wrong.

Yeah. You've tried it. Here's what I've got from this. You've tried it's your way. Yeah. and hey it stinks. So hey, look, all I'm telling you is, yo, the creator has told you I came down to bring you life

and to make it where it's just overflowing. Yeah, I would agree with you on some of that, but if your life continuously sucks. Well, that's what I'm saying. But there's parts of a believer's life that no doubt suck. Well, I like because that's what light. Well, no, because you're not going to live on this ball. Yeah.

Without having trials of tribulation. Yeah, the trick is to keep your eyes on the prize. If you're making difference than that, you're not in the real world. Yeah. The trick is keeping your eyes on the prize and not allowing yourself to get stuck in that sucky part. Because then when you do, then you start living for yourself. But I'm just saying, okay. There's just a whole bunch of other stuff.

Hey, it's being offered to you. Amen. Yeah. Okay. And what I'm talking about here, is the fruits of the Holy Spirit. And to be fair, my life pretty good right now.

Well, no, no, because see, I did break my garage door. That's why they filmed me and they got real personal about me and my brother, Phil. Yeah.

On the I am second thing? Uh, yeah, I hadn't watched that yet, but I need to sit down. They got real personal and, and really, uh,

at first I was saying, it was, this is so boring. But then we got into it and I, and it was like a lot of good, stuff come out because of it. I got to ask the question about, well, what's the main, a major difference between you and Phil?

And I said, well, I'm uneducated. He's educated. That's the main difference. And I said, what are you trying to say? And I said, he was smarter than I am. Okay. And I said, it's a lot of people to admit. Well, no, no, but hey, it's the truth.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've got a whole lot of common sense. Oh, yeah. Which has served me well. Yeah. Okay. But just honest truth, hey, he's got two degrees. So yes, he's more educated than I am.

He's smarter. You know, and his lifestyle showed it. Degrees don't necessarily equal intelligence. Well, I don't know. Well, I understand that too. They do equal commitment. All right. Look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more. outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tells beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to them but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store

and do it a different way. Triedails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbyes on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it,

which is just a, she doesn't eat me. She ain't a big meat eater, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. And I give you his name. It's Christ Jesus.

Our friend, Jesus. Okay. Yeah. Of Nazareth. Yeah. Because what you can't fix, okay? That's the reason he came, okay, is for you to seek him, and he'll fix it for you. You'll take care of it and take care of you at the same time.

Right. But I actually question, though, I am doing pretty good. Well, no, no, because like me. I just don't think about it. It's like. Because if you asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Oh, what do you want? I don't want.

I've already got it. The heart is a spoiler alert. Well, no, no, I'm just saying. I did just get you a new pair of waiters. Well, I'll see it. And hey, that's what I want. Merry Christmas. Well, thank you.

But anyway, hey, if you've got Jesus that Ben, whatever his name sings it, you've got it all. Oh, that new, yeah. Okay. And that's a true statement. If you've got the creator, well, hey, guess what? If you've got the creator, then you've got everything. then you've got everything he created. Because look, he said, I'll make you coerce.

There you go. Preach. All I'm trying to tell you, folks, is, hey, if your life sucks, hey, stop, turn around and go another direction. There you go. Gobind has your life. Excellent. Oh, his problem is, hey, is what he's going to do today. No, I was really just trying to get to that.

I was trying to get to the almost granddaddy update. Yeah. Because you're getting close. Yeah, he's just going. Everybody wants to know about them twin granddaughters coming down the tracks, baby. Oh, I know one thing. Oh, I know one thing. What?

One of them has got a big nose because he's just showed me a picture. I was going to say, how in her do you know that? Look at here. And how do you, what? Hold on. I'm just saying what he just showed me. He showed me a picture and the kid has got a big nose. Well, that don't mean she got a big nose.

I'm sure I know Johanna. How tall is Johanna? Five, two. And if she was... She may not have a big nose. She may just be out of room. And if she comes... If she come through that door...

Yeah, he said, hey. Her belly would come in and then like five minutes later, the rest of it would come in. That's right. The twin pregnancies, like the... She has to walk like this. Yep. That's right.

Otherwise, she'd be on her... The way Brittany's body expanded. to accommodate that is No, no. It's incorrect. That's the first thing I told him when he caught it up. I said, I still,

every time I see a pregnant woman, I just can't believe, hey, everything still works with that much New, December 20- stuff. Human beings.

I mean, well, aside even from the human, all just the stuff. If you went to my house, you would think me and Paula was having a baby. Oh, you want.

I hate to tell you. I hate to tell you. You are. You are at a time. Oh, they're going to be showing up over there a lot, a lot. I don't think they're going to leave. Well, they may not. Hey, well, they will when you get sick.

I'm going fishing. When you and Paul get sick of them, they'll leave. Grandmama ain't going to get sick of them. I have a question for you, Gobwin. Gobin may get a little irritated, but grandmama ain't going to get sick of them. I hate to tell you. I know that. my mom right now just soon as moved back in yeah like because she loves spending so much time

with the boys because they're just and so so does everybody there's another thing they're growing and changing and like they're just a ton of fun oh no that's another thing that's just a marvel or a miracle whatever we would call it okay that they you know they do it once and then some of them do it a lot yeah have more of them i don't understand i don't get it You know what I don't get An apple on pizza? Well, yeah. Anyways.

So has anybody, when you show those ultrasound pictures off, sometimes people say things like, oh man, that looks just like Johanna. Oh, they look like a kid. We're getting an ultrasound. I don't know. I don't ever get that. I don't see.

I don't see nothing. What I think is, hey, is the guy that's running the scope that's put it right at the right place to get that face. That's deuce her. Yeah. I've opened them back up to other ones. And then they'll call it cute and I'm like, it's an ultra-

It's a kid. It's an ultrasound. They are cute because all kids are cute. That's not true. Well, most of them are. There's a couple ugly ones. I'm just saying like, Yeah, but even the ugly ones are.

It's so cool because it's like they're just little humans, man. Like that's, that is the cool. They're actually cute and there's ugly. And then they come out of there. Yeah. And your life changes forever. It's easy by they's in there. I just remember.

somebody whenever that we're looking at one of our kids ultrasounds are like man it looks just like allison and i was like what are you talking about but no surprises no surprises no surprises in their pregnancy i'm kind of bummed you're the only person that had a bunch of surprise i know i i really had one you had a boy oh no i love it oh there's just one oh what's that behind the one there's that one and oh that one now had magically has a penis like you know okay cool hey it's a man it is a that's just biology terms. Biology terms. Yeah.

The fact that, yeah, I don't know. It always seems weird when people just have like totally normal ones. I'm like, what? And that's part of that life that I was talking about. Yeah. What? How much did them boys weigh when they was born? Waylon was 6-8 and Jackson was 7.7, I believe.

Good grief. Yeah, she had 14 pounds of kids. Hey, that's 14 pounds that your wife had to make room for. Oh, I'm aware, buddy. That's still just blows by mine. Yours. 14 pounds, that's good grief. Yeah.

Bowling ball, a professional. A couple of them. Yeah. Small ones. That's unreal. Yeah. What are those weighing in it? Four or five pounds, something like that.

Yeah. She said they do yoga every day. No, no. Oh, they do. The first time I watched Chase or stretch her feet. She's doing it, too. Well, it's amazing. And once you get them home, they keep that same kind of the deal.

I mean, it's just like the stuff they were doing in there they do out here now. Oh, no, no. Whalen was the fidgety one, and he's all the time tinkering with something. Jackson was a chill one that would like, you sit down and chill with you. He'll still sit down and chill with you. Not a my kid's chill. I mean, I say chill, chill for a three-year-old. Like, we're talking five-minute pauses.

Most ladies, when they're active, say, well, they're working out again. But the first time I watched Tracer and watched Christine's belly, okay, she was stretching. That's weird, man, I don't know. And I, I'm talking about it, look. I get a gas bubble and I get freaked out. I'm talking about, look, hey, you know. Her foot and only her foot is sticking out that much from the rest of her belly.

And you can see her foot. Let me out of here. And I'm looking and saying, this is. a while. It's so wild. But we're a couple of weeks, huh? December 29. That's perfect.

Blameen babies on that taxes. Yeah. Get them. Oh, this is a level. This year. That one hurt. This year or next year. This year next year.

It's going to be one of those two. Yeah. So they plan. Is that just the goal and then they're going to let them go or is that when they're going to take them? That's when they're going to take them. That's when they're going to take them. Okay. Yeah.

Shoot. Look at there. Time's coming. God one ain't never going to get to fish. I can't wait to see Paula with them in their hands. It's my job. I have to. Yeah.

You got to re-name. It's not going to fishing. It's going to work. Going to work. I got to go to work at 4.30 in the morning. Yeah. Good for you, man. And Mallard ducks ain't going to kill themselves.

Yeah. Don't matter what you do. They will not kill them video. You can't chew them out of a recliner. Yeah. And that's work. That is work. Tonight I'm going to go to work.

up there. It's actually, I'm looking forward to it. I hope it's as cool as I think it is. The five folks of Academy Sports and the Western Rail Police Department, we are going Christmas shopping with 30 kids tonight. That ought to be a plan. So you ought to, if you plan on going to academy or not, probably avoid between the hours of 530 and 7 because it's liable to be a madhouse in there. It's liable to be a madhouse in there. But I don't know, it's just, that's a fun thing. I ain't ever had this opportunity. So I'm about to go take kids on their own Christmas shopping. There you go.

That'll be fun. Yeah, I hope so. I hope it's as fun as I've built it up in my mind. You're going to build them towards all the stuff you want. I am going to try to steer them towards some, you know, like, hey, man, why don't you go grab this pit boss? I'm like, you know, get you a grill, son. How about some of them spices over?

You need a griddle. You need this croppy magnet. Go get you once. Hey, go shake his freeloader at them, son. They'll bite that thing. That's right. Like, they're probably going to want my shirt. That is a nice shirt.

I do love this shirt. I never knew I was. a guy that needed a thing that was a jacket and a shirt combined. The shacket? Yeah. It's all the rage, man. Shacket, jack shirts, whatever you call them. It's a shacket.

Yeah. I never knew I needed these. A shackets rule. Yeah. It's just a denim shirt, ain't it? Yeah, it's heavy weight. It's a thicker shirt. Yeah.

But not quite a jacket. So it's like a shirt and a jacket, aka a shacket. A shack. A shack. There you go. Is it a shacket or a jack shirt? What's the difference? It would be a jerk.

A jerk? No, that's what it wears them. it's a shacket. I sell a lot of shack. Hunter? Hunter doesn't know. He don't know. Hunter just,

Hunter just wear cotton hoodies. Yeah, I was going to say, did you just ask for fashion advice from Hunter? No, no, I'm just asking for the name of a product, not a fashion. But Hunter only wears obscure band t-shirts and zip-up hoodies. Yeah.

Hunter, what are you wearing right now? I was faded out. Maybe it's actually wearing it. Washed it too much. He wears it so much he has to wear it, wash it every day. That's weird. No,

I ain't wash this thing since I got it. Hey, Phil Robertson's advice. Don't wash his hunting clothes. Phil Robertson didn't wash himself. You'll wash it out. That's true. Yeah, Phil, Phil. Phil didn't wash.

Hygiene, major question mark. That's why when you was with him. He saved a lot of time. And down when, you're sitting in the wrong place. But when you think about it, how much more time did he have to do what he wanted? Because he didn't take the time to shower. I mean, if you add 10 minutes a day. I ain't in that shower 10 minutes.

You got to dry off. You got to get dressed. Okay. Yeah. If you do the whole, yeah, do the whole song and dance. Oh, I enjoy a shower. It's long. I don't get in.

Oh, now when I get a cricket my neck or something, I'll stand there and let that scald-not-law to run. Let's say he showered 52 times a year. Once a week. We'll just say 300 times two. That's 3,000 minutes. I think, say, I spend a lot of time because I spend at least. For Phil, yes.

I spend at least 30 minutes. shower. No, I shower every morning. Oh, no. I can't wake up until I shower. You're getting a bathtub. So, I love a good bath. Oh, I'm like, I stand under if, you know.

Yeah, I'm a shower. I stay. Phil added two days and two hours to his life every year. Good for him, man. That's awesome. But what if he just slept instead of shower? Because I wake up early to shower so that I got time to shower. He got two more hours of sleep.

Like, I plan that. I plan that in my time. I just, I got a shower before I leave, man. Do you really? Yes. You can't just wake up, but on some pants and walk out the door?

No, I feel gross, man. What's in your bed that makes you feel gross? I don't know. I just, I need to shower. Well, no, I'm a hot sleeper too.

I sweat when I sleep. Yeah, but hey, getting in a hot shower. It changes your stuff. Hey, and then it gives you a good attitude. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, it gives you a good attitude. Yeah.

It gives you a good attitude. Yeah, because you sing. Yeah. You sing. Don't you sing in a shower? No, I don't sing. I love my truck. I love my boat.

I love my life. Yeah. Along with my wife. There you go. Oh, Godwin, writing a new jam. Y'all put that one out there, y'all. Oh, I thought that was just a song. Oh, I don't know if it is or not.

Is that a song or did you just make that up? It does. I love my truck. I love my boat. I love my life. I love my wife. That's haiku. well I think and any of a hundred country songs that are probably on the charts right now you you have a chance goblin yeah you could make it 50 50 either will or he won't

godwin's going to Nashville yeah well side is just coming back that's all I'm saying he won't stay there alone no it ain't yeah it ain't what it ain't what it all is uh yeah because when you go in a restaurant and get you a fine steak and that way Waiter sings as good as anybody you listening to. Everybody's good in Nashville. Are waiter sang to you in Nashville? Well, I'm telling you, they'd get up there and sign. He's just speaking in hypothetical. Okay. You know what I do hate about that whole thing?

I don't like going to eat dinner and there's somebody in the corner playing music. It's so loud. Wow. Just like a little live guy up there. Yeah, I don't like. I'm here to eat. You know, careful for it. It depends on your mood.

I guess. I'm not big into... You need to lie. Your life... We need to talk. Hey, we just talked about it. Yeah, your life. It is...

It is on you. Hold on a holiday increase in retail. I'm going to tell Allison to make omelets tonight and my life will be way better. Again, go home and scramble some eggs. There you go. There you go. No, we have a lasagna soup tonight.

Ooh, soup. Lazzania soup. Do not. Why? question it. Yeah. It is phenomenal. I'm not questioning.

I'm trying to picture it. Imagine. And she's starving it in a bikini. No? I don't think so, but. Oh. It's kind of cold. Man, I hope she does for your side.

You would never forget the soup? I like the suit, man. I care what it tastes. I like the suit. All the young lady that brought it to you. I'm not going to forget her anyway. We've been married 15 years, but I'm just into the suit.

I don't know how we recover from that, Martin. I'm going to let you try. It's your wife. Anywhere I go from here becomes offensive. It becomes raided. Yeah, because I don't know whether to ask about the noodles or, you know. Okay. Y'all've ever had lasagna soup?

The broth. I don't really know where to go. No, but what does it look like? Like, I'm trying to pitch you. He's got a good sound to it. I don't right. Just a slab of lasagna and then you pour some extra liquid to it. I like stuff that's thick.

I don't like no liquidy nothing. Okay. But then your soups are just, I... So you're not a soup guy? No. Yeah. In general, I'm not either, but... Soups aren't really...

The pioneer woman made it right there. Yeah. Is that a ricotta? Oh, yeah. Yeah. What is that? Scoops of, right? You just cook the...

You basically make lasagna, don't put it together and serve it in a bowl. Deconstructed lasagna with a little more tomato sauce. Okay. I got you. If the Pioneer Woman says it's good, I trust her. You can choose the amount of noodles. Okay. What about if you top it with just a little,

a little slice of Italian sausage? You could do that. I mean, when it's soup, the soup is your oyster. You can put oysters in there. That'd be weird. Yeah. I just think of my lasagna. Yeah.

I like it better. The Pioneer woman has a great lasagna. Is there a difference between lasagna and lasagna soup? Yeah, there's a difference. One's a soup and one's a lasagna. No, I'm just saying, like, is it the same thing? Just one you put in a casserole and bake and the other one you serve without the baking part. I don't know how you burn.

I'm just asking. I mean, this is legitimately questions. I don't. Give me a lasagna for gets a soup. Yeah. I'll just tell you right now. When it comes to either one, I'll eat both of them. But yeah, but in that winter you want a good soup.

Like. Yeah, but not lasagna. What? What about? So where do you stand on taco soup? Taco soup then? Taco soup is trash. I've never.

had taco soup. I don't like taco soup. Why? Why would you want taco soup? That's what I'm saying. Anybody ever know what a soup sandwich is? I'll make it with it liquid. A soup sandwich. Yeah. My grandpa used to always have a say and he's, you was jacked up as a soup sandwich and I never really are. That makes a lot of sense because if you tried to make a soup sandwich, it'd be pretty jacked up. Yeah. I guess he's just stop everything up with the bread, I guess. Yeah. So, I just, you know. I'm reading the ingredients. of the high-ne-woman's...

I'm trying to think of a soup that I actually like. What? You don't like potato soup? Not really. Creamy potato soup. You're out on that? I'd rather just have mashed potato. Hey, the best soup is chicken noodle.

That's unequivocally false. No, it isn't. Chicken noodle soup. Even if you're sick, it'll fix you. Does a pot of beans count as a soup? There's a lot of broth. I do like a pot of like kidneys and pentos together. Does gumbo count as a soup?

It probably should. I wouldn't say that's soup. But see, I... When I dip my gumbo... Bees and the soup. I get that ladle sideways on the side of the pot and let all that juice run out and then put that on my rice. Oh, you're one of them.

Yeah, I don't like brunny stuff. I like it thick. You're the one that when you get down to the pot and you're digging for just maybe a piece of sausage. You got nothing but broth. Yeah, you're the reason. Hey, pouring a glass and drank it. I would.

So gumbo, I like that because I was just... hunting in Missouri and we had gumbo in the duck blind which was fantastic that's one of those things I never knew I needed well most foods go good gumbo is not a soup you put potato salad on you gumbo the stew that's what I was going to ask we ate it we ate it with potato salad that's good right it's fantastic change you laugh you know what else he did right before he took it off of there he took and cracked like 10 eggs in there and let them poach in there so since we had it in a blind for breakfast so it kind of felt like breakfast it was There you go.

He foge. Yeah, he poached 10 eggs up in some gumbo, and they were fantastic. Everybody got an egg with their scoop of gumbo. It was good. I was like, now this is duck hunting here. That stuff we do at the house ain't duck out. This is ducking. I can get behind this.

What's the difference in a stew? Yeah, I didn't wear. No, I wore waiters because it was like two degrees. I wanted every protection from the element I could find, not just, I mean, you could have worn knee boots, but I'd have frozen death. Yeah. It was cold. Well, how cold was? One morning we woke up, it was two, one, two.

One, two. Twelve? No, two, one, two. Two degrees. One, two. Two degrees. And you went out. Oh, it rolls the temperature two degrees.

Yeah. Actually, what's crazy is the two degree day did not feel as cold as the 27 and snowing sideways. That's what got me in one way. That was cold. When it was snow and it was wet. Yeah. It was he met. But the two, the wind had died and the sun was out.

it was, I mean, it was cold, don't get me wrong, but it was like, okay, this is taller. It was six. It was six when we hunted on the real ground in New Mexico. Mm-hmm. When the planets exploded, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That day.

Oh, it was weird. I was there. It was weird. It was weird. It was weird. It was weird. It was weird. It was weird.

Well, I heard old field put her down. That's when the sink he locked the keys in the truck. Oh. And they called and they unlocked it. It's right. They told us to stand away from the truck before. A beam. unlock it from space.

I think he likes the beam from space. No, no, I'm sitting there and we're sitting there and we hear, mm-mm, and then, no, you didn't. You heard the beam?

You heard it? You heard it? And then it says, hmm. I heard the doors unlocked. I heard the beam. I did, like as a former OnStar member,

I guess I technically still am. I always thought it was weird because I would lock my keys in my truck intentionally, like at the airport. And then I just get on the app, unlock my truck. Could you hear the beam?

Well, no, but I always thought it was funny. It says, please do not be touching the vehicle when this happens. It says step away from the vehicle. Hey, I'm serious. How do you know? You stood there and held it? He heard the beam. I heard it.

Oh, yeah. I hear it. It's going to pop you. Hold on. Hey, that's the reason they said, hey, stand away from the vehicle. It ain't like TTI and on an electric fence. I mean, I wouldn't have been hit by a satellite game. I guarantee you.

Hey, look, you don't want to be standing with your hand on that door. when they unlock it. That thing will fire you up? That's interesting. I feel like we need to do mythbusters. I will myth bust it tonight. Allison's car, it's not OnStar, but there's an app and you can unlock it.

You can unlock it. And I will go put my hand on it. I'll put it in it. And then say, unlock. And I'll put it up to piss out of it. Why would you hope that? I just want to see if I can hear the thing. He's not going to do it now.

I'm going to. I'll be shocked a piss out of it, what I hope. I'll teach you my lesson. I don't tell you He didn't listen to the old man He gave you every chance I gave you every chance Well we got anything in there

We need talk about Oh no we did the I'm trying to think We did that We've done this We're doing that Trying to make sure we got all of our house This went by quick

I do have I need to ask everyone To listen in a question Okay Somebody sent me a random hockey jersey And there was no note It was just somebody Bought a hockey jersey

And they sent it to me I didn't send. I would like to thank them, I think. Who? You don't know who? I don't know who sent it. Who? Also, who?

Monroe Moxas. It was from like Kentucky or something. Oh. Who was that guy we had on here? It wasn't him. It was like from a store. Like a hockey store.com. Well, that's nice of them.

I forget what the store was, but it was nice, but I can't even think. Also, it was kind of nice, but they sent me a triple XL. Like, I'm a big guy, but that's. But I guess you could, yeah, you can put it over. pads or something. Yeah. I'm thinking about trying to join a hockey. Do they wear shoulder pads?

They're going to wear a jersey. All you do is just a skate. They should wear a mouth. It gets you want them puck hitters. Puck hitters. Some would call it a stick. A stick? Is that what they call it?

A puck. Well, not puck hitter. Because that seems like you could really get tongue tied there and say something you don't make me. Oh, fuck hitter. Yeah. Kind of like that time you said, Fun Sucker. Nope.

You don't want to turn that around. Yeah, that's a tough one. Hey, well, we did ask people. That's a rough one. We did ask people to send in their first duck, steers and all that. Yeah, we got any of it is? Jessica from South Florida of West Palm Beach.

Is that not Miami? I don't know. How do you kill a duck in Miami? Oh, they got ringnacks. Oh, yeah, they got ringnakes. Every time you go around, I exit, the other's always a pond and it's full of. and a blue winger.

Blue winged tail. There you go. A blue winger, boy. Awesome. A little older than I was expecting for a first duck. I like it. I'll quote Mr. Phil Robertson.

There's hope for the nation. Why is there hope for the nation? A duck hunting a woman. Duck hunting a woman. That's right. A duck hunting a woman. There you go. That was her first duck.

In the Marsh killing blue wing teal. We have a 13-year-old fan named Ashton that really wanted a shout out. Can you say, hey, Ashton? Hey, Ashton. What did you kill? There you go. Huh? Well, you won't know what he can.

I don't know what he'll kill. He'll let us know. I see somebody had something on the ground and it had horns. Uh-oh. And then this man. They grow horns? Hey. Yeah, it's a duck horn.

I don't know. They won't put it up again. Hold on. He's gone. This seven-year-old who I don't have his name, but his dad's name is Tron. Oh. That's awesome. This boy.

Wow. That's objectively. real deer one. He's got lit up bringing. Thanksgiving morning right there. That is awesome right there. That's a big old eight or nine point. That's eight. I see eight. I see seven. And his brother got this one. Wow. Ah. Oh, that's cool. Pum is it? They weren't. They're hunk for life. They're hunters for a lot. I had the pleasure last week of hunting with some kids. And they ain't hunted a whole lot. They're like seven and nine. Was it a blast?

I had a lot of fun. Yeah. Watching them. Oh, watching them. They were shooting their little pistol, you know, shooting their shotguns at them. But it was cold, buddy, was it cold? One time they had the one shell rule, so you just get one shell. I mean, they make it count.

You better make it count. But they had finally gotten so cold that one kid, I called him Hank. His name's Henry. He said right beside me. And I said, look, I know your hands are cold. You just hold a shotgun. And when we get ready to shoot them. them, I'll do the safety for you because I was done.

So, all right, we're going to kill these. I clicked the safety. And when he shot, his hands were so cold, that gun left his hands and hit me straight across the forehead. Oh, no. And I saw stars, buddy. I was like, I was just like, okay, I needed to go in the tent, you know, like I have on the football side lines and have somebody do this number for me.

A 20 gauge coming backwards? Yeah. That felt good. Right across my brow But his name was Hank Well his name was Henry But I called him Hank That's what I do

Yeah There's people named James I just call him Jim Jimmy Yeah Oh Jimmy Yeah And then I've got a lot of opinions

In here About eating roadkill deer Because on that Thanksgiving episode We brought that up John from Michigan They pick up the deer And he's gotten

about five of them and says you can eat them. They're not bloodshot, like I said. Ooh. But I would think here in Michigan is more well for refrigerated. There's a heart for that. If they're hitting the head, they're all right. But they're hitting the body.

Hold on. No go. I can't. You don't think, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I just, I misread what he said. Oh. It's even better. Uh-oh.

Because I didn't know Michigan was this redneck. He is on the road. list at the local sheriff's office. The sheriff's office will go down the list calling people telling them where a deer is and they will go pick it up and take it with them. Yeah, okay.

There is a list of people in Michigan that are like, we'll take that deer. You know, when you go to them other states, I always wonder how they get them cleaned up so fast. They got a list of guys that are like, I'm hungry. They got a clean-up crew. They got their own list of deckers. You see deer in Louisiana laying on the side of the road.

Arkansas Road. Is there's one there. That's surprising. The I had 20, I can say not stopping getting them because it's safety issue. But anywhere else, you ain't seeing them laying on side road. There's one right by my house. Somebody left.

Get them. They didn't hit him in the head. I don't know where they hit him, but it got. Every one I've ever hit, that bloodshot can't, can't, it ain't. It ain't. Well, I know that the one that I hit the morning, God, then past me.

His nose was in one headlight and his butt was in the other. When I tell you, center punched. I mean, he called every square inch in the front of my truck. He was standing in the middle of the road. Well, he was on the side of the road with the steaming radiator

and boat hooked up to the trailer. Me and Jay come by with my boat on the trailer. I started to wave, but I pulled over. I said, well, what do you want to do? He said, I got somebody. Kevin. Yeah. Y'all go fish.

Y'all go catch them. Go out there on that flat and catch them. They're biting. So we do. Go get them. Go get them, and then I got another email from one of the most important jobs in the whole world this time of year. UPS driver.

Shout out Christmas UPS drivers and FedEx, but, well, y'all can fight in the comments. And postal service, whatever. Whoever's delivering and them weird little hands has got Amazon on the side of them now. Thank you guys. I actually really appreciate all of you. But southern Oklahoma, one of the other UPS drivers was driving, goose, head first on I-35, and it's like a missile because it's a goose, but it stopped at the shoulders. So the goose's head is through the UPS windshield.

We don't have a photo because wait until you hear the rest of it. The head is through the windshield and the body's in the back and he says, doing all the goose honking and flapping. UPS driver stops, goes, finagels the goose out of the windshield. No. Guess what the goose does?

No. He bites him. Yeah, turns around, starts fighting him. Oh, yeah. You ungrateful goose. Huh. Why would anybody have... Chop a head off a snake?

He'll bite you. Yep. Was it a Canada goose? They say what's... They say what's... And we got to assume. Because, you know, Canada nice is a thing, but those geese are not.

They didn't get the... memo. He smashed. How did it live? It flew off. That's what I'm, that's incredible. Flew off. Yeah. That's why we don't have a head. After head through the windshield. Once he got him out, he flew off. I saw a dude hit a deer on the side of the road the other day. I didn't see it, but I pull up on it and they're all sneaking up on this deer and the deer's just standing there. Right. Like he was like, man, that hurt and trying to figure out where he was. And I guess he ran off. Huh. I had a deer run into my truck. He didn't run off. He ran into your truck or you ran into it?

He ran into my truck. Big time out of nowhere. That happened to Clay's wife. He hit right in the front driver corner. I just seen something into my rear rear rear and I'll hit the brakes. Of course, too safe. They don't stop no more. They just go on.

But he hit right in that front corner. Knocked my little fog light deal out. And then inside of my door. Yeah, Clay's wife yesterday, or the deer had heard in the driver's door just going down the road and made the airbag go off. That's how hard that idiot, right? And I asked, I said, well, did you get to deer? You know, because that's the redneck thing to ask. And she said, no, he just looked, turned around, ran off.

You want to talk about tough, man. Deer tough. Which is amazing because whenever I told the story of him holding on to one. Yeah. Either they're tough or the stuff our vehicles are made out of his jump. That's both. That's both. We are basically just driving around in giant beer cans now, I guess.

Because they sure do crease. They didn't run off of my model teeth. That thing had a force plus not a livestock, George. Not the livestock, George. That's what steel was steel. Yeah. What is it now? It's not used.

It's bad. It ain't from Pittsburgh. It's complicated. It ain't from Pittsburgh, boy. It's recycled. Some dude with a color. calf tattoo in Pittsburgh just said amen brother and Steeler Nation give me that town oh man all right well get us out of here John Dundee all right well sigh I don't know how he got there but he did and he did a great job of

getting there earlier John 1010 the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy I came that they may have life and have it abundantly whoa whoa so I told you that's a creator boys get off the thieves yeah if your life sucks Turn to Jesus. Put that on a t-shirt. The next time we have gobbin on, he'll be a granddaddy. Yeah. Ain't that cool to think about it?

Wow. Yeah. Oh, we got to have Ms. Paula and the kids. Oh, let's take a while. Oh, yeah, give them about three months before they figure that out. Oh, hey. We'll have photos. Tell them we'll see them at Easter.

Yeah. Grandpa takes a picture. Ooh, chocolate. Yeah. Makes a picture. That's what I can't wait. Just fill them up with chocolate, set them out. That's hateful.

You know that, right? Noise makers. All right, we'll see y'all next time. Right here in Duck Carver. All right.