Duck Call Room - Godwin’s EPIC Body Slam Technique Won Him a Wife!

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

Uncle Si and the boys get into the nitty gritty about their wives’ annoying habits and how their boats help them cope. Martin recently had some truck trouble at the worst moment possible. John-David’s faith in the next generation is restored after some entrepreneurial kids found an interesting way to fund their fishing habit. If Si ever gets hold of a time machine, he’s got his plan already figured out! Martin requests the prayers of fans and friends alike for a member of the old “Duck Dynasty” production crew who’s battling cancer. Godwin gives some hilarious (if not very useful) advice to a fan whose girlfriend whose idea of date night is a little…aggressive! -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have no idea what today is. I guess technically it's June 1st or something. It's tap dancing day. It's what? Tap dancing day. National tap dancing day. National tap dancing day. What does that mean?

It means it's national tap dancing. Have you ever tap dance? I just did. Is that tap dancing or clogging? What's the difference? Do we know? Depends on how heavy you are. Oh.

There you go. Doesn't that make sense? It may. Depending on where you're from. That must be. why our friend Sierra from Tennessee sent us a little goodie bag. Is that the little Debbie girl?

Oh, is it the little Debbie girl? You're my hero. I used to love her. It used to. Now I just love it. Unwrap a smile. Does anybody want some patriotic brownies? Boy, I do.

Patriotic, anything. You know I'm patriotic. I could eat that whole box. What else you got? Do it then. Patriotic cakes. Oh, yeah. The white.

Chocolate and vanilla. White cake. Red white. White and blue stuff? Okay. We got Memorial Day. And we got the July the 4th.

Good, good. All wrapped in one packet. God bless America. Okay, y'all turn it on the radio if you want to hear that. Yeah. I'll gladly stand. That's pretty awesome.

Oh, we got, we went. Next to you and the middle still to do. That song. We got an America mashup. That song's so good. Who's got Lenny Kravitz? I just figured you'd go with American woman, but maybe not.

Oh, it's okay. I'm more of a I love the rain kind of guy. There you go. So that hat's legit. That is an interesting. You'll say nothing? No, that's an interesting. You show up in like a Steve Irwin, crocodile Dundee hat.

Well, that was a... That did a pioneer woman collection. That's an Ozzy part of the hat that boy. I got me But I got my colorful clothes on Yeah you do You're ready to go fishing You got your fishing jersey on

That's what I was fixing What are you being catching Fish Fish? It's one of those secretive type Oh Silver Bullet, baby You can check it out

On FinCommander's YouTube channel So Oh okay Is it already on there? It will be by the time They hear this You been to catch any big chinky pins? No

Chinketypans? What? I don't know where them things are gone. Really? Did you try to catch some? I got in there a little bit too late.

I should have been there when them MLF boys was there but I didn't want to get on a brush pile and I was like, I went in our face of a birthday we couldn't even get in it.

Tell us how you really feel. That's what I'm just sad I didn't go with wearing the hat and having the headphones on. He tried. I tried it, but didn't. Did you drive you?

truck? Yeah, I drive a truck, no. No, no. You have a truck that dressed especially like your hat and your shirt, too, right? Did you drive that? Yeah, the billboard. Yeah. Did you drive it today?

It's parked out in my front yard. It is. That way, everybody, everybody that drives down that road, no to get some. Everybody comes by. Like one of them politicians, sir. Yeah. As 71292s, I hate to tell you. I hate to tell you.

But most of the people that travel down that road just smoke their flowers. They don't put them in a face. That's about right. You're listening. Well, hey, multi-purpose. Multi-purpose. Makes her happy and you do it?

Hey, that's it. Hey. Happy, happy, happy, happy. I lost my computer, by the way. Where's it? I don't know. I do something. It's in the last place you put it.

You can't, no. You can't fact check me. Yeah, well, I got a phone. He got a phone. But yeah, I don't know what happened to it. I feel naked over here. Have you misplaced it for real? Somewhere in my house has got to be.

But I bet I put it somewhere that made sense to me and then my wife moved it. Okay. That'll happen. That'll happen. There it is. That's why they always know where to find stuff. You notice a woman always knows where to find it. Because she put it there.

Because she hid it. You can't find it. And you're looking around. She said if it wasn't for me, you couldn't find nothing. Well, if you wouldn't put it somewhere. Well, if you wouldn't move it. Yeah. That's why I tell them, do not touch my little table beside my recline.

Amazing. I can find everything. It's piled up. It's piled up with junk. Every time I've got to find something, I got to go through it. That's it. But we're the same way. Like if I went to look in your boat for something, I wouldn't be able to find nothing.

Would you be able to? But you'd be able to go. You'd be able to put a blindfold on it. But would you move it? The house is the woman's boat. That's right. You're right. That's the deal.

That's why you can't find nothing. Yeah. Because like you go on my boat right now, if you ask for something and I told you where it was, you probably about what that don't make sense. I bet what it does to me. But it does to him. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's the way it is. Interesting. Why you go fishing with other people is kind of hard because your boat is your tackle bomb. Yeah. It is hard. It is very hard.

Yeah. Now where is that? What is that? Yeah. Oh, me. Been there done that. Who. Gobba?

I could have used you yesterday. today. What at? My truck quit on me. Where was she at? On foresight, taking Brittany to get a root canal. Oh. I think good.

She talked funny when she got through? She was talking real funny when it broke down and we hadn't made it there yet. Oh. Oh, y'all hadn't made it. You were on your way. Uh-huh. We're on our way there. Well, I didn't get a phone call.

And the truck just stopped? It just quit. She quit on me. What did he say? The deal that holds my timing chain broke. My timing change still fine. You're idling? A deal that hold.

Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about that little. He said, he called it like the guide or something. I don't know. Yeah. But he said that broke. He got him. So is the engine just shut off? You wore it and two.

You've been driving too much. Well, I'll fix it. What's my mileage. Oh, my truck, $207,000. What I'm talking about. You got it paid for. Oh, it's been paid for. That's why this one's getting fixed.

I don't want a truck note. So, yeah. I get it back out of a week. What's that? something like that. Things drive. Another hundred great. I didn't know.

That's the first time it's ever happened to me, though. I was just driving and all of a sudden there was nothing. I said, huh. Interesting. Yeah. And then when I went to turn the key over, I was like, yeah, that ain't, that ain't it. That don't sound like that. But a nice fan stop and helped me push it out of the middle of the road.

That's good. Asked me how many ducks I'd killed and if I'd killed any turkeys. And then he left it with, man, it's good to see when y'all broke down. Yeah. He said, y'all are. real people. Check you later. You have ordinary problem.

I said absolutely, buddy. I said, 207,000 miles. She'll do this to you, I guess. Yeah. You know. My wife called me this morning.

You got to do maintenance on it every once in a while. Yeah. This has been the best truck I ever own because other than standard maintenance, this is the first problem, I would say, that it's had, other than just regular tires, oil changes, you know, all that kind of stuff that you take care of. But my wife's air conditioner went out this.

morning. Yeah, that is no Bueno. I mean, it's good. It's good because we're still in May, and it ain't July, but. Yeah, she said, it's hot. She called me, I was like, I would bring it by here, then the bridge was up, and it was a whole disaster. But she made it home. I'm going to try and fix air condo. We got 140,000 miles on that rig. Do you? Till the wheels fall off. The kids too dirty to get something new. Amen, buddy. I accused my mom of being the problem. What did she do? Well, look, see. Well, look, see. Because of, you. my dad, you know, when he passed, we kept all of his trucks. So every now and then, I'll go

parked my truck at her house and drive on his. Just keep them running. Keep them running. Keep the diesel running and keep his other truck, which I'm in right now. Thankfully, we didn't get rid of them because we got an extra vehicle. But I keep them running. So I left mine over at her house and she just couldn't stand it anymore and she washed all the mud off my truck. I said, well, when you did that, you washed a piece off that was holding that together. That's right. I said, there's a reason I don't clean that thing. Now, you got to go run back to it. mud up. Yeah. I said, now I'm going to go get mud on the top again

just to make sure that all the mud gets back in the right places holding the rest of it together. It was holding this truck. Yeah. It's the old theory, if it's not broke, don't fault with it. Well, his is broke, though. Yeah, mine is officially broke. We are B-R-O-K-E broke.

It was so bad at first it wouldn't even go into neutral. So it was staring well-lock, you know? The steering well-lock trick, and then, because you didn't got power steering in, so it's hard to turn that wheel but it does all the power you got i said it's a good thing i've been toting around them 20 pound young and because i was able to finally jar that steering wheel loose got it neutral and then a very nice uh watchtall parish sheriff's officer uh steered the truck while me and

uh my hunting buddy who whoever he was pushed it yeah so it's always nice to stop and help somebody God. Oh yeah, and there was another guy trying to stop. I mean, another guy was stopping to help, but I was like, no, man, we got it. Because he's like, you need help pushing? I was like, I mean, maybe, but I think we got it. And by the time he got parked, we already had it. I said, man, thank you for stopping anyway. It's just good to know that still exist in America that people will get out. I've helped push a many of them. So that's the first time I've ever needed it. And there were a couple of guys they're willing to do it. So I can, I can appreciate that. But it was kind of a lonely feeling sitting on the tailgate of your broke down truck waiting on somebody come get it while your wife's

getting a root canal yeah how far from the dentist was about a quarter mile see job oh just walk down there the first thing she said was how am i supposed to get there i said well i recommend you walk yeah that's right i can see the sign all i was worried about was not dying on foresight with people not because i mean i'm sitting there in the middle got my flashes on and they act like i guess they're texting they ain't paying no attention they're locking their brakes up i'm like bro i've been here. It's new. I'm sorry.

And the flashers are own. Yeah, I'm sorry. If I could have moved it already, I would have. Like, I'm trying to, that's in the middle of me trying to hang off my steering wheel to get where I can put it in neutral. Golly.

Yeah. Go to my mile. That's the long as a drag script, you know. Yeah, it's just right there. I can see it. Called it. Oh, but then the dentist, she called a dentist office and the receptionist come down there and got her and took her down there.

That was nice. Yeah. I asked when I paid the bill, I said, does that include the delivery, the pickup in delivery. The fuel search, I said, I'm totally okay with paying for it since y'all were so kind to do that. And she started laughing. She said, no, honey, we've all been broke down before.

I said, well, I have now. I never had before them, but I have now. So anyway, real life happens. Let's take a break and we'll be back right after this. Aye. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know, we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Tritels beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sal Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day.

And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need.

Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat either, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash.

That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Man, do you see that deal with Bernsie? Uh-uh. My friend Bernsie, you remember him? Yeah. But I saw on Facebook a guy that filmed for us. And we'll author this out there to our fans because we're a preying bunch. A guy that filmed Duck Dynasty, his name's Chris Burns, was just diagnosed with stage four liver failure.

Wow. And Bernsie's. Bernsey was there from the jump. He was second season. He wasn't first season, but second season all the way on until it ended. Burnsy was with us. And so Chris, I don't know if you even keep up with us anymore. we keep up with you mildly so we will be praying for you buddy yeah basically i think it said

his only he's just got to wait for a transplant now so uh is his only chance of survival but we know a great healer so it's not his only chance of survival so if you if you guys feel led podcast fans um lift up our buddy chris burns in your prayers he the deal with duck dynasty is the whole crew we were together so much that the whole crew that the whole crew was like family between gym, Chris, Candice. I mean, I can go through the whole list of people that I haven't seen in forever. D-Rock, like, and, you know, you just, all these, all these people,

Jenna, yeah, Jim Orr, big, and then you got Odie, the big, big, gym. And so we spent a lot of, I'll say this, during that, we spent more time with them than we did our own family. So, like, they became our family. So, Johnny, I mean, I just start thinking of all the people that worked on. It's kind of cool to look back on it. But, yeah, I hated to see that.

I mean, because Chris is young. I mean, he's not, I mean, he's got to be mid-40s maybe, max, early mid-40s. So still got, in theory, a lot of life ahead of him. Don't never know. But anyway, there you go. That's your update on Duck Dynasty. It was a TV show. I didn't know the clock was going to be running.

I was just going to tell gobbling off camera. Yeah. But when I saw it running, you know what, there's a reason clock was running because Burns making use a few prayers, man. Power of prayer. It's a wonderful thing. That reminds me about why are you living your best life? If you're not, you have that opportunity.

It's that important. It is. Are you living your best life? I'm trying to. You give it heck, don't you? I'm trying to. Look at that smile on his face. I'm just looking at them two shirts over there.

Them's two boys that's proud and living, son. I know you're here to tell me. Let them know. Let them match. They do match. We're ready for a day on the water, Martin. Everything matches except their footwear. Those are very different.

We got some Nike dump and some duck commander clogs from 2012 that they don't make no more. I like. I like just to what I can slip them on and kick them off. You can slip. I would actually, if my feet would turn it. I'd actually go barefoot it. Well, then we'd call you Godwin. I'll tell you, because, hey, my feet used to be tough.

Oh, they ain't tough as they used to be. Yeah. I'd walked out there in a yard the other day, and I was like, ooh, hoo, who. Without shoes? Was it stickers or rocks? Both, both. Aikering.

Is that a normal thing that you would just walk through your yard with those shoes? Goblin don't wear shoes, man. He's our OSHA's worst nightmare. Here, he takes off walking through the. that warehouse bare for them. I'd kick off my shoes when I get here and I'll put them on when I walk out the door. Well, I understand what Phil don't wear. Phil doesn't wear shoes? Oh no.

He goes, he goes you know, but his feet he says it because he when we was growing up with so poor he couldn't, he didn't have the right size shoes. And that's where they big, that's where their big knobs come. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I understand why he goes barefooties. He squirrel hunts barefooted. I know that. Oh, no. He said, asked me, he said, you see my shoe by your deer stand us. Oh, no, no, no. I used to take, he found a bunch of squirrels on the Arkansas, Louisiana line.

And that was in the front of when I was in the Army, and I'd come in and go hunt with him. And I'd give him Army socks, which are real thick. And that's what he had had. He's wears Army socks, you know. and he took me hunting there once and he said oh I forgot to tell you when we just split up and take off he yelled hey I forgot to tell you

I was what that he said for ever squirrel there's 10 poison of snakes yeah he ain't wearing shoes and he ain't wearing shoes no okay I've seen him step beside so many snakes that just they open their mouth yeah but didn't bite him

now I got a question he rakes him beaver dams towards him and he rakes him in his just brown his feet are squirrels really that slick where you don't need shoes are they really what that slick that well he hey he said he did it because he could feel

like a little limb under his feet he ran he wouldn't break it you know lift his fit put it forward that's a man you know what that tells me about that man he was hungry Yeah. If you're worried about breaking a stick, squirrel hunting, you was hungry. Oh, no, no, no.

You were hunting to survive. It was not merely a past. Well, in them days. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. No, I'm being honest. You know, that's like, you know, you don't waste that ammo. Yeah, that's survival hunting there.

That's not like fun. Yeah, this is serious business, okay, because like, you know, whatever we brought back to the house, that will supplement meals. Yeah. That's, I've got to eat squirrels, not I want to eat. Well, that's my favorite game. Yeah. Okay, I could eat right now.

If you would kill 20 young fox squirrels or cat squirrels, I would eat every one of them. 20 of them? No, you wouldn't either, because I'm going to keep me at least two of them. Cut his head off and then all you got it is the legs back. I'd eat 20 of them. Squirrel dumplings. 20 up. No, forget the squirrel dumpling.

I'm fried squirrel with rice and gravy and biscuits. All-made biscuits. What are you looking at? I'm making sure that wouldn't Bill Dance calling you. I would have got it. We'd have put him on the air, buddy. We'd have got him again. Exactly.

But no, fried squirrel with rice, gravy, and biscuits. And then a bayhole jelly for a little dessert. Praise be. I'm not a big squirrel guy. Yeah, me and Mr. Robber probably wouldn't see how to. I did go watch some of them squirrel videos after y'all turn me on to that. Did you get just lost in them? Fat Gus is pretty tight.

I told you. My kids will be watching it. I'm like, hey, scoot over. Like, I'd buy a fat Gus show. Well, we've talked about this before, but there's a lot of folks out there that don't know it that squirrels migrate. Oh, yeah. Here we go.

Okay. The migration. The Great Migration of 82. That was in 1972. You said 82. We're right. He's all around it. No, no.

This is story number. But that was. something to see. Okay, because you don't ever, ever see like going to woods and just everywhere you look, limbs are shaking. And everywhere, I mean, everywhere

you look in the trees, limbs are shaking and you're looking at it on the logs laying down, there's farmets running. I wouldn't want to be there. Oh, that would say. What if the squirrels turned on you, though? No, they didn't turn on me. But, I mean, how many squirrels could you

legitimately defend yourself from? Probably well. I carried like two boxes of shells. So he was good for 50 of them. I was good for 50 of them. But after that, it's going to be a battle. Yeah. Now, Phil, he carried 400 squirrels came out.

Phil carried four boxes. Okay, because that was back in the day when limits, that didn't even come into play. They were just suggestions. Yeah, that was a suggestion. Yeah. They didn't mean you had to. Yeah.

It wasn't law. Well, Hard to say. But I just want to end that in there. Yeah, no. Do migrate like ducks. Yeah, they do. Everything will migrate if it comes to eating and surviving.

Man, hey, you look at us. When the food source. It all goes to heck down here. We're going to leave here and go somewhere to eat. Yeah. It depends on the food source of their range that they'll have. Yeah. Because that's like the mountain land.

Hill's range is up to 400 miles. Far as I'm concerned, that rasker will stay in a mountain. That's why they're so skinny. No, no, I'm serious. Hey, they're range. You ain't ever seen a fat one anymore. If the rabbit population is low and all that, stuff, whatever they eat, if it's low, they'll range up to 400 miles of food.

I guess we know what was on PBS last night. Yeah. Was it? You got some good stuff. Would you drive 400 miles to go eat and come back home? Not on day one. I'd probably give it a few days But I guess if I had to

It meant the difference I ain't gonna drive nowhere right now Because my truck broke down Mick Millen sent me a picture 20 minutes ago He's in Longview eating at that Edible Barbecue right now Is he really?

It was so good he went back So is that what he just told you Is he bringing back a platter? He sent me a picture of three ribs Ribs Three ribs? What's that going to do? He ain't bringing that to That's all that was left

Unreal All right, well let's take another break We'll be back right after this No, Martin, I'm telling you. What? The generation right behind me, eh, not so much. The generation after them,

I got a little faith. The hustlers? The hustlers. You mean the ones that were born of people of our generation, the last hustling generation? Maybe. Maybe. Probably.

A little older than me, I guess. These kids... Oh, yeah, kind of like me, about five, six years older than you. We basically had young entrepreneur day the other day. store. Well, what was they doing? It was fantastic. So I got a group of boys that they remind me of what Willie probably was at this age. Swindler? No. No, they were just constantly outside. They set trot lines and they live close to the river and they will swim out there to them. I ain't got no boat. So they're just, they're constantly like sometimes they come in the store. I'm like,

boys, we got to shower before because they go. They got, got, got, got, got. Get a little rank, get a little musty. But they're awesome. That just reminds me of my childhood when you said they swim out. Yeah. That's what they... Me and Phil and Tommy would actually, with sane the bait out of ponds, okay? Crawfish, perch, shiners, all that.

Whatever got caught in a net. No, no. Well, no. Yeah. Whatever got caught in the same. Yeah. Okay. Put it in number three wash tub, full of water to keep them alive.

Carry that. You know, put it in the car, get to the levee, carried over the Red River, and then we would go, like if there was a sandbar in the middle of it, we'd swim to the sandbar, and then set lines out on the shallow side, both sides of that sandbar. And, of course, we'd have to, whenever we run them,

I had to swim over, if it was at night, hey, swim over, run them, okay, and then come back. But that, you used to. something fun. Were you the bait guy? Huh? Were you the bait guy? No, we all, I didn't get to do the fun part.

You know, take them off. That was Tommy and Phil. Yeah. You know, I was just helping them tote, help them catch them and everything. You were there for moral support. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, these kids, they buy worms from me, and then they caught some giant gruntle. I want to know what I call the gar. That's a prehistoric. Oh, yeah. They're only into prehistoric fish. Yeah. No, no.

Grisle is prehistoric fish. Well, they're into gar, too. Yeah. There's Noah Craven, CJ and Carter. Well, the other Monday, they come in the store and they're like, I got to talk to you. And I was like, what's up, guys?

And they said, I got a business proposition. And I was like, I'm always thinking. I feel like I'm going to lose in this situation. Always thinking. Because they come, they'll show up at 545 and like, if I take the trash out, can I get some red worms? And, you know, sometimes I let them. Sometimes I don't.

It just depends on if I need the trash down. That's better than cutting a zip towel from putting in their pocket. Amen. So I love these kids. So they come in, they said, we got a lemonade stand. And I said, what? They said, we set up a lemonade stand in the neighborhood. And they made pretty good money on Sunday.

And they said, what is lemonade going for today? Two bucks a cup. Two bucks a cup. So they said, that's a good cup. What size of a cup? Red solo cup. Red solo. Oh, that's pretty good.

Do they fill it up? They fill it up. We're changing the recipe next time they come. But they said, Can we have some space outside for a lemonade stand? And we'll give you 10%. And I said, hey, that's a pretty good deal. I said, here's the deal.

You don't have to give me 10%, but you got to make a sign that says you're raising money for red worms. And, hey, they showed up on Tuesday and crushed, they sold out a lemonade. I was proud of them. Did they make the lemonade like with your water hose or something? No, no. They towed it a heavy cooler. They towed a heavy cool.

They rode their bikes to Walmart. They had to buy all their own stuff And then they rode their bikes home Next thing I know they got a wagon And they're pulling up a cooler They bought the ice from me Which was funny So we're going to add extra scoop next time

I like this What you're telling me You're talking about the generation behind you Yeah look at them I got a picture of them Yeah Their sign says To fund honeyhole bait and tackle shop expenses

Oh okay There you go They better They better I shopped at the honey hole They better bump that up to $3 a cup. Hey, not as much,

I was about to switch with them. No. We're going to add a scoop of a lemonade. It kind of got watered down on Tuesday, so next time they do it, we're going to add. Too much ice to it. Yeah, add a little too much ice.

Yeah, when you add ice, you got to add some lemon juice. But, no, they were out there hustling. So I might come by there. There you got. I'm going to be there tomorrow. Hey, good lemonade's hard to find. But I like it.

They're hustling, and I was proud of them. And I was like, I ain't going to cut them no deals. I'm just going to give them spots. Good old to them. I don't know that I could have made as much money as them because half of it was people who are like proud to see a lemonade stand again in America. And they were like, proud to see some boys working.

Well, no, no, that's the thing. Yeah. That you got kids. Hey, okay, I don't want to work it. You tell them on Saturdays, they got a free spot at Duck Commander if they want it. They set up right in front of the store. We got shade. There you go.

I don't know they get their bikes off the in the list. Hey, they show up. I'm just, I'm trying to. expand their location. They got a three spot under the Eve in the shade. They can sell their little. When you come, hey, call me to tell me the helper. And I'll come by a court.

A court. They're going to be it. There's a honey on the bar. But they said Tuesdays and Fridays. I was like, I don't know we can do every Tuesday and Friday. We'll work it out. You got to tell them. They've got to spread it out because then they'll lose the people that are proud of them for working.

Then they'll just think they're getting swindled. So you got to. We got to space it out. Space it out. Up your price to $3. So then one of my favorite customers then comes in. I think she's about 11 or 12. She never buys anything, but she's still my favorite customer because I'm her customer.

She's raising money to ride horses and go to tournaments. And that girl makes the best red velvet cupcake you have ever had in your life. There we go. And she's like 11 or 20. And she walked in one day and it was like my mom's birthday. So I bought a bunch of them, never tried. them and just took them home and I got home. I was like, well, I need to find this human

and get her on the line because I need her to come back all the time. Six months later I said, where have you been? Don't ever go this long without coming here. Where have you been? Where have you been? And here's my number. Look, so she's got Cadilla, chocolate, and red velvet. Those boys are out there selling

lemonade and then she walks in and looks at me and just smiles. I said, the red velvet's here. I was fired up. So there are some kids working hard this summer. How much? How much she she sold them cupcakes for $10 for $4. $10 for $4? It's a great deal.

Can she make it here? Oh, her mom drives her around. Yeah, tell her put Duck Commander on her list. I'll tell her put Duck Commander list. It's Showcakes. She even got a thing on Facebook. Showcake. It's spelled like a Louisiana person would spell it.

Oh, like S-H-E-A-U or something. Yeah, something like that. U-X or something. But yeah, she raised the money to go ride horses in them tournaments. I think she's pretty good, too. Okay. But I said, hey, don't ever pass when you're coming to Westman Road to sell, you got to pass me from Farmable.

Just stop here. Yeah. That reminds me about... Tell her, get on over here and ask for Angela. She'd get to that front door. I got her. That reminds my childhood riding horses. Yep.

There's hope. That was back in the day when I was a child that the farmers would get together and round up cows for all the different farmers that do it together. Well, they'd be it to a cotton gin. all the horses tied up and I would jump from one to the other. Sit only a while. They need to teach them cows like they do in Wyoming. How they taught them, they just come down.

They let them go all summer and then about October, September. They just start down to the corral. It's wild. Yeah, they'll be standing at the gate. Yeah, let me in. Yeah, they'll be standing. They'll all be standing at the gate. Yeah.

When we've been up there deer hunting for, we've had to stop and let cows in. because they was all standing at the gate. So they knew. Locking the road. That that meant they were out of food up in the hills. Yeah. They knew to come down here to get food.

They'd all be standing in the gate. They'd ready to go back home. You open the gate and they all file through. You ain't got to do nothing. They'd be up in the meadows. They just go on. When it ate them down. What is that a national car?

They would all show up at the gate. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's pretty cool. Huh. That makes me. What if? If you had a time machine

And you could do it Would you go back in the old Western days When we were settling this country? Brough, I'm so soft I wouldn't make it for a week I think the only place Johnny D's going in time Is forward Back to the future

Back to the future, babe I'd go back No, that's not true, I'd go back to the 90s I think I would go back To the Western Day? To the Western Day? We need to take a break and discuss Yeah, yeah

And I'm like you. I may not be tough enough to take it. But I would like to, yeah. I'd like to delve into that a little more. So let's take a break. And then we'll, we'll talk. Let's talk about where we get. Hey, kids this summer.

Get a little side hustle, make you some cash. People would be proud. That's it. All right. So time machine, if we had a time machine, will we go western? Si says he wants to go the west. So I would go west. I wouldn't go back.

He'd have a horse name trigger. Just think of this, though. or sit. Go to the plain states. Okay. And there would be millions of Buffalo. A Buffalo. More than that.

You know, I just, you know, I look because the few I've seen, no, no, the few I've seen, this thing is huge. A Buffalo is. Mm-hmm. You seen a couple? You think that you could, you know, ride across this. A Buffalo? To talk. No.

I would ride. Right. Look, Mango Road to Buffalo. The guy on a buffalo road to Buffalo. But anyway, right across the country where you could see literally, you would have to stop and let him go by. And it might take the whole day for him to go by. He's a guy on a buffalo.

That would be pretty amazing to see that. Oh, no, to see that. Gobwin, you got a time period. I think Godwin's going back to like 12, 1,300 or something like that. He's going to be a castle. He's going to be a castle and moat kind of guy. But I'm not going to choose for you. I don't know where I'd go.

I'm kind of like I'd be a mountain man. So you go in there too. Now see, that's bold. That's boldness. Because I was wanting to be able to go back to the west. West, if I could be able to handle it. Now, he's talking about becoming one of the pioneers that actually, you know, blazed trails for all the rest of us, you know.

Yeah, I'm out on that. I would go back to like 1996, right before everybody. got a car phone. Oh. When the world was great. I thought you were going to say offended. It was better. Well, yeah, nobody was offended either.

If somebody needed you, they'd call your house, and if you weren't there, they'd wait. Low key, I'd like to go back to, like, Jesus. Because, you know, I'm just saying. What an answer. No, but I, you know how cool? You're a better Christian than the rest of them. No. Go back to win?

I want to go back to when, I want to go back to when that sea got parted, because I think that would be cool. Like, when the Reds. see you got parted? That would be tight. Hey. Like, I'd like to see that. Like, if I had to pick a single event from then, I would love to go and watch that thing,

just go, whoop. I was just fixed a day. That's cool. That happened about something comparable happened a couple of years ago. When we was down there in the Bahamas, okay, we were staying where Taylor Swift, I think it was her summer, summer house. How is this comparable to Moses in the river? Look, there's a giant rock out there in the ocean.

Ocean liner was coming between the giant rock and us where we were staying. I come home from vacation. Go to Dave and practice my music. That's when I had the band. And he said, oh, let me show you what I've seen on, I was looking through my computer the other day. So he gets on his computer and brings it up. He's got a picture of that giant rock, except there's one thing. missing. Taylor Swift. It's like about 10 miles.

The water is gone. He said Taylor Swift. The water's gone. That's just the tide. No, no, no. No, this is not the tide going out. A hurricane come through there. Oh, pulled all the water. It pulled all the water out. But this is like 10 miles now. And people are out there walking around on what used to be ocean liners was going through. Yeah. You don't want to walk around here. People are out there walking up seashells. Because that water's coming back.

Well, that's what I said. I said, was this in the news or anything? You know, was it anything really a big deal made of? He said, no, I just found it on a stupid computer. You seen Deep Impact? Huh? Well, hey, that's kind of like the Red Sea being parted. Yeah, I would like to, I would just, some of those cool miracle events from the Bible, I think, would be really.

I just think it'd be really neat. Like, I mean, when the sun stood still for three days? There's all kinds of stuff, man. Like, there's a bunch of stuff happening back then. Yeah, I guess that's the... All in the pig, ground in the ocean and drowned. For three days, the earth was flat. Three days.

What are you saying, three days? It was 24 hours? 24 hours, that time. I'd have to ask the Bible scholar, Owens. Matt Owens. He would tell me. I'm right here. He would tell you where you can find it in the Bible.

It's in Joshua. Yeah. Hey, it actually stopped, I think, for 24th. because it was 12 o'clock noon, I think. You just think about it. They stayed 12 o'clock noon for 24 hours. Joshua 10.13. I would probably severely time hop from like major event to major event.

If I, you know, if you have the time. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, you got to get back somehow. We stay for a day. Like, there's just some cool points of history. But that's where I start. I'd go back there and then I'd work my way forward, like hopping. February 7th, 2010.

Something almost happened to you. you stay it and you just jump out of there. I don't know if there's any mountains around where they part of the Red Sea, but hey, if you'd be standing there watching, you know, Mosin is done the stick in the... Mm-hmm. What about?

And then, hey, thousands of people's, camels, mules, horses, donkeys, all these go through it. I'm already barefoot on dry ground. It was one day. It was one day, yeah. Yeah. How about that? Somewhere in the...

But, you know, watch that fight between David and Goliath. I just sit over air, air, on sidelines. And watch that slingshot get to work. Quick fight. Hey, that's, hey, walk,

walk, right, moving on. That story was easy for us to believe. David and Goliath? David and Goliath. Yeah, because, hey,

we grew up with slingshots. And you took down a giant? No. But we took down everything else. Hey. I'm serious. So you take an old shoe, like a loafer,

cut the tongue out of it, okay, on top, make you you'll put it in I'd have to stop it no one of you all run around

bare putty oh no cut all your shoes up made a minute you're talking about a deadly thing that thing

that thing is a tool a tool of death a slingshot oh you made the oh yeah hey we hunted with it raw

a 60 an hour rock ain't safe oh oh hey and son hey when you you I thought you

talking about one with the no no no that's that's we call that that something else A shooter. Yeah, that's a shooter.

Yeah. P shooter, whatever you want to go. Yeah. The slingshot is actually, we use nylon string. Okay. Or you could use leather, leather strips. That was for the uppity people. Yeah.

Hey. And look, when you get to, Hey, had that one. You get the whirl in, what is the, uh, Quigley down under? What did they, what was that guy, he was doing something? And it was making the noise. A boomeret? No.

the bruner, he had some kind of, it was a way to communicate. Did he do? Well, it was some movie. I thought it was quiggily down there. And it would make that kind of noise while you was slinging it. And I said they communicate.

But slingshot makes that noise when you get to really swirling it. And then when you let it go, hey, that thing's deadly. Because you could put a stick with it. okay and then it's like a barrel of a gun you're doing the stick and wherever you turn the stick loose you know you can set up bottles and stuff and we busted them all the time jol ever throw it at each other

that was five cents a piece oh yeah yeah yeah that's why my brother was missing two front teeth which one harrell he got you standing behind the oak tree and it ricocheted oh bam what I'd miss a two teeth. See, I'd love to. I'd stop at a few key points in size childhood, too, just a fact check. Although that was the greatest time in my life. I'd probably stop and see that jacket. I'd stop for sure and see you.

I'd stop in Boston, Massachusetts, and to go see that jacket at that restaurant. It may be flowing the night, boys. Just a... I'm serious, it literally made me glow in the night. That's what I would see. I'd have to just stop. I'd be that guy standing on the... corner, you know, smoking a lucky strike or something, whatever they did back in the days.

I do one of the few people that went to Vietnam just to watch Sigh have the tires stolen off. That's what I'm going. I'd like to watch that man cross that pond with the engine block. Oh, no, no. And now, hey. Fire away. We got some emails. I'm on my phone, so I might not be as good at reading as normally him, even though I kind of

struggle from reading. But there's one we got to go. And it's why I got to read it word for word. There's no other way to do this than to read this word for word because you think I was making it up. If I didn't. Hi, my name is Aaron and I'm from Oklahoma. Good country. Good country. I'm in a bit of a situation and I'm needing some advice. Backtrack, subject line, desperately seeking advice. What's the situation? There's a girl at work that has a major crush on me and I like her too. That's a good thing. Here's the problem. Martin, quit getting nervous. There ain't no problem. There ain't no

There's a problem. Oh, and a problem. She's the physical type and likes to show her affection by rough housing. And by rough housing, I mean, she randomly slugs me in the arm and occasionally the kidney at any given moment. Oh, we got a mountain man kidney puncher. I feel like I'm in the third grade again. And she's not what you'd call petite, and at times I could accurately compare her punches to getting

hit by a sledgehammer. Everybody claims she does that when she likes someone. from that claim, I'd say she thinks I'm her soulmate, and I've got the bruises to prove my theory. You need to just body slimer. You got to fight fire with fire, baby. I love it. Because I married a power lifter.

Uh-oh. Ms. Paula was a power lifter? Oh, yeah. I'll find out something. Oh, yeah. Hey, you don't want to mess with that woman. Oh, yeah. He's a power lifter.

You got a body slimmer. Body slumber. He says he wants to pursue her, but getting beat up regularly isn't exactly what he's into. So here's this problem. Should I choose love or personal safety please help? Body slam. That's what you choose. Hey, you can't body slam a lady?

There you can. Here's my deal. Oh, yeah. You can. The girl's a little playful, okay? Clearly. No, hey, I would say go for it. My man's got bruises.

Hey, I mean, hey, what are a few bruises? Body slam. Body slammer. He said, hey. Body slammer? Oh, yeah. Martin. That'll go.

I need your help. That'll go. Body slammer. I'm telling you. I can pick her up and slam her down on the top of my house. On to the couch? Careful now they just date. Two can play it.

I would die. Two can play this guy. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. All you pissed up and head in the face. Sir! I tend to stay out of all matters of domestic violence.

Oh, that ain't going to be violent. Hey. That's what you want. Hey, it sounds like a lot of fun to me. Fun. Yeah. He's got bruising. Hey.

That's the tough thing. skin looks like your shirt. Hey, look. Love is tough, buddy. Ask the punching bag if that's phone. Yeah. Hit that sucker. Hit her about where about.

Now, she probably is trying to see just how far it to go for. He fights back. And when you do, she's probably going to fall madly in love with you. And she may or may not cut your head off and wear it for a hat. I don't know. Like. You go end up on a different podcast like Martin says. Wonderly.

Yeah. Wonderly going to be talking about you. That's what Martin said. That guy that talks real low and slow going to be telling. in your story, Hammer. I love it. It was a low, sleepy night in Oklahoma. David decided to fight back.

I don't remember what his name was. Aeron. Aeron decided to fight back. Oh, this girl's just playful. Just snake up behind her, get her in a headlock. That doesn't sound playful, but hey. Oh, hey. No, it is.

Well, she might get a little carried away. Is her name, Icebox? She's playful and very emotional. Because, like, the whole time you were saying that, I'm just thinking the little giants in Icebox. Icebox. Icebox was a guy. Right?

Or look, she may not be like Johnny Ringo. Icebox was a little. Oh, Spike don't play with girl. Yeah. No, or she might be like Johnny Ringo. She's just a little high strong. But I think God would probably give you the best advice you could have. Here's my advice.

Put a Conway 20 song on. The girl needs a slow hand. Oh. I don't know if he's going tight-fitting jeans. Either way, my man's getting whooped. Not if he body-flammer. I'm telling you, the woman needs a man. with a slow hand or an easy touch.

I think Gobwin is truly probably out of us the only one that can give us advice. I'm with Galvin. You got a pretty meek woman overall. Mine's lippy. He is strong. Hey, she's a body slammer. I mean, Miss Paula did power lift.

I saw the picture over there half. So he ought to know. If anybody knows, it'll be him. That's it. And I've heard some stories about her BC days. I know how tough she was. Hey, look, I'm with Gavin for one reason. Hey, the man is very happy

And he's got a body slammer He got vitamins every day Oh yeah There you go Hey, drink a while it's hot That's what I'm saying Hey, put Conway 20 on Hey

Slow hand And body slamming Body slamming Is that the best All right I'm telling you I don't know that body slam Okay

I'm bowing out That's way better Maybe like playful Ressel back No you're right No it's not going to work You're gonna get hurt Now that I've played that out,

man, you got to go with the body slam. Maybe onto a couch. No, you don't. No, you don't. You get Conway's Twitty song. You got to knock the air. Yeah. Sweep the legs.

Take her breath away, baby. Take her breath away. Sweep the leg. Hey, and you can do that with Conway 20s. She needs a man with a slow hand and an easy touch, baby. I thought you, you went with, you just said, take my breath away, and you didn't go with that top gun. Hey, you can say, hey, a man with a slow hand, easy touch

to take a woman's blessed away. All you're all about the mashups. He'll have her plodering him around like a puppy dog if he does. At least she already is, but more like a pit bull. I don't think she's following either. I think she's leading. Hey, I'm what guy going on there? My man.

It's better. Body slamming is way better than punching in the job. That's it. Don't punch her. Yeah. Don't punch her because she'll have to knock your two front teeth. That's right. Because if your advice is coming via email.

What if A.A. Ron's tiny, though. That's what I'm saying. He might be like. Hey, Aeron wants a sneaker. Yeah, he might be like. I'll catch you a table for about three foot long. Put some nails on one end of it and just swing away. Well, he said she was playful, not a zombie.

Come on now. The walking dead's going on in here. I don't know what. But we got Hunter laughing. Oh, she's love. Hey, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, she'd love it.

You know what that tells me? Hunter's had to snot beat out of him by one before. It's how hard he laughing over there. He said, boy, I wish I'd have known that when I was 15. Hey, I got to go to my line here. I've always told people I'd rather fight one man or 10 men than one woman is mad. This girl ain't mad. She's happy.

Hey, don't she's playful. She gets mad. He's playful. But that's why I'm telling you. Hey. That's why she needs. Look, that's why I would fight. I was saying, I would fight an old football team

before I'm on food with one woman this mad. Because she'll kill you, okay, because they're playful. We got time for one more, because I think we're going to have to edit some of that part out. I don't think so. I'm telling you, answer the boy's question is, hey, get with Conway Twitty and listen to the song. He needs a man with a slow hand and an easy touch. Because there's way more to the song than that.

good luck a ron let us know how to go yeah please definitely do for you actually the most important thing you do in this whole situation is a follow-up email yes Aaron please wear a GoPro yeah if you go with the body slam show us the video on this now if you go with that two by four thing do not video it I'm not your lawyer but I'm requesting you not to do oh you just use a two before to get her attention but I don't know what's happened I think we've lost it I'm very sure. I don't know. You ain't ever seen them.

Hey, look, boys, when you get into the game of love, it's a tough. Yeah, you ain't never seen your movies with them spies they get to fight in a man and a woman. They end up kissing. I'm telling you body slam, or it's. Hey, golemen on that Angelina-Jolita. We had a complete agreement here. What happened to me? What, you got body-slam?

No, I'm body-slum. No way. Ask her. Beth, I'm requesting for Paula to be on an episode very, very soon. If you go, if you go talk to Paula B.C., you won't talk about Paula B.C., you won't talk about laugh, son. You will laugh. Buddy, them is some good stories. Hey, Paula's always...

The flying flea was body slamming her. Okay. We had to do something. Because, hey, next time she's here, I'm going to get into the body slamming. you just better not you better all I got to say when you square up with Miss Paula you better be prepared to fight hey there you go boys

you better not go half cock because you're going to get knocked out what did homie say about it homie don't play that yeah let's end it with a Bible version and pray for ourselves and a Ron because this could man if he misses on that first grab of the body slam

that boy in trouble is toast She about to break him in half, Jack. But if he can't body slammer, look, here's the good news it. If you body, here's why I'm going to take this, then I'm done. I'm not. If you body slammer successfully, you have got lifelong devotion from this woman. However, if you miss, it's over.

Best not miss. So this is a sink or swim moment for you right here. You can either swim the rest of your life or you're going to sink miserably. So I'm saying when you go for it, don't hesitate. No hesitation. You're going to get knocked out. Let her know you there. Let her know you there.

Big dog, you're about to get knocked out if you hesitate. He's going to go for it. I don't know that I'm for this. If you short arm it, though, you're in trouble. You better give it all you got, babe. Yeah. Because she's coming back. That's what I'm saying.

Wow. Allison's different than most of these women I'm talking about. What was that other song? Give me your best shot. Yeah, hit me with your best shot. Hit me with your best shot, baby. All right. Well, I don't have a Bible verse about slamming, body slamming your girlfriend.

Couldn't find one. But I'll go with this one. Isaiah 5417, no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the. the Lord and this is their vindication from me declares the Lord. There you go. That'll work.

There you go. That was a body slam him. That was a body slam him. Body slam them and drink a while it's hot. We'll see y'all next time right here in a duck call room. We're out. I gotta go.