Duck Call Room - How Uncle Si and Godwin Met Their Wives

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

Si talks about meeting his wife in an unexpected place, but it's hard to top Godwin's "Jerry Springer"-worthy story of how he met his woman. Martin has questions about hot dog eating contests and the people who enter them. Si recalls the time Willie became an accidental panhandler. Godwin made a top-shelf meal from the bread JD brought in, and now he's ready to rate your sammich. The boys talk about a venom-spitting snake on the loose, getting rid of pests, the best places to visit in West Monroe, and how to find people to date when church isn't working. And Si calls BS on Martin's biology lesson.  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Soccer starts in an hour. Number 529, boy. Soccer starts in an hour. Hey, tell me something, why do they act like they hurt so bad? It does hurt. It's something. No. What?

You run full speed and let me kick you as hard as I can. Now, they're big fakers, too. Yeah. Especially them Italians. You can tell when they hurt. I mean, when they lay there. Oh, ain't hurt. And they roll around, and then they jump up and take off running?

No. Are we talking about soccer? The other day there was one. But there's definitely a reason they do that. They're big wrestling fans. The other day they were big wrestling fans. There was a man laying down like crying. He was hurt so bad.

But then his teammate scored and all of a sudden he was healed. He jumped up and he was healed. Well, what's the deal? I know there's a purpose for it. I don't, I don't. It's got to be. I mean, you want to. Let me tell you what the purpose is.

I'm the weirdo that watches soccer, but I can't. I tell you what the purpose is. They don't ever quit running. Sometimes you need five minutes on the ground to catch your breath. Well, maybe that's true. That's a good point. But, yeah. Well, take it.

You ain't got to get hit by nobody. You just get close enough. It looks like you hit somebody. You lay down and rest of it. But when they age out of soccer, they ought to just call the WWE, because they're the finest actors in the land. I used to play soccer on Saturday mornings with people that are way better at soccer than me. And when you get stepped on when you're running, it hurts.

Well, legit. It doesn't look like it hurts. The legit ones, yes. But there's some acting there. It hurts when Black 12 steps on you. It hurts. What? Huh?

That was a bull. Oh. Black 12. Black 12. I'll never forget. He'll never forget Black 12, boys. He stepped on him. Yeah, I don't think anybody's arguing that bull riders are.

And look, I've been on the bottom of a mini a pile of a football bill. And it hurts, but you get back up and do it again. You know, I mean, you got 27 seconds for you got a row. You got to run another play. That's the way the sport is. Yeah, you just get up and go. Soccer, you got to take a break. Soccer.

90 straight minutes. But, you know, soccer, they ought to be able to, like, relay, like, tag in, tag out. All that stopping stuff. Like, if you can make it to the sideline, but you guy can't enter until you touch him. Yeah, you got a rest body in. Because only three people can even come out. That's what I'm talking about. Why?

They went hockey. Soccer should go hockey. Yeah. And just switch in and out and involve fighting. Yeah, I agree. Hockey's awesome. Not on TV. Hockey, yeah.

I remember. It's hard to watch. When they had hockey here. Oh, hey, wait, you're talking about the Monroe Mockasson. That was the greatest hockey team ever. This dude was in the penalty box, and he was just dogging that guy. Dogging. And he had that hockey stick up like that, and he went, boom, like that.

He took glass. That dude jumped back five seats, poured his drink all over his woman. He'd like to do it to his nose. That makes you wish the glass wasn't there. That makes you wish the glass wasn't there. He never turned around acknowledged he was there. He just boom, wop. Side, did you ever go to the hockey games in Monroe?

No. You did? I went to a few. I went to a few of them. Hey, you got to skate after it. You got to skate? Yeah. So we were the moccasins, and when we scored goals,

we'd all throw rubber snakes onto the ice. That's right. That's why I didn't go. We only got to do it three times that season. Hold on. Hold on. They were better than people. I was, my family, hey, hold on.

We were seasoned ticket. Of course you were. Well, it was played in a theater named after your grandfather. Of course you were seasoned tick. And that's my uncle, sir. Oh, my bad. I get those how ones confused sometimes. But he wasn't the mayor.

There's so many of them. There we go. They just keep coming. Oh, them hired now. It runs deep. Deep. around here. Deep.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. Anyway, the Monroe Mockisons, we went to a game one time and they couldn't finish it because everybody got to fight and there were so many people that got penalties they couldn't feel the whole team. Both teams. Who needs to hold them?

They should have got people out of the stands out there. I would have been in. I loved going to live hockey games. Boy, I got that pretty good. Lord. Have you ever been to an NHL game? Y'all did events at hockey games. Yeah, lacrosse.

Oh, me and got that. But me and Gobbin, we did that one where we dropped a puck up there in Pennsylvania on a hockey game. Was it like a minor league team? Yeah, it was. I think minor league hockey might be the greatest sport ever invented to go to. I can tell you this, between all the players, there wasn't a full set of teeth in it. No. No, they're grinding it out.

They're all Canadian living in Louisiana. They all have, what is it, dentures? Well, I got tickled because, like, there were three dentists that were sponsoring the thing, like around the deal. I was like, well, that fits. Well, right, look. Yeah, it was a, it was a cool. They put carpet out there for me and gobbled to walk out there and drop that puck on that ass.

They gave you carpet? Oh, yeah. That mess was slickery, son. You had to. I have a bunch of hockey pucks from the Monroe Mockesons back in the day. Do you? A collection. Yeah, I got that puck from that one that we went to.

It's in my closet. I mean, look how cool the logo was. No, man, that ain't cool. That is cool. That ain't cool. The Monroe Mockets. right there is like you get close to me i will bite that's why i never went to that stupid they didn't bite many people the monroe moccasins were awesome shreeport always killed them don't bring up

so the mudbugs always whooped them so my wife was from streetport she a mudbugs fan so there we have a monroe moccasins jersey at our house and a shreeport bite bugs jersey which is sad yeah now i've been there's i know brittany loves going to those predators games with her dad. The mother of moccasins never even had a losing record. Thank you. 35 and 32. They never had a record.

37 and 26. Yeah. Attendance kept dropping, though. I remember that lacrosse game we went to in Canada. And them dudes get hurt. They towed them off. Yeah. When they go down.

Yeah, that's bad, dude. They go down. They went running by them and they'd whack them in the back of the head with that stick. Yeah. You're out. I mean. No, that was lacrosse. La Cros.

They took that stick with a net. They'd come running behind them like sitting a screen. They're like, now, bop! I was like, whew. Don't come running behind me. Dude goes down. Five people come out, put him on, stretcher, told him off. Yeah.

Well, hey, get him out of the way and continue that. That's what they're doing. That was up there. That's when we could travel to other countries. Yeah. Boy, those were the days. Well, those were the days. That wasn't even in the 1900.

No, that wasn't. That was. That was. This century. Yeah, I guarantee. Wow. It's amazing what we can get off on a tangent on. We went from soccer to wrestling to travel.

To minor league to hockey, to lacrosse. The league doesn't even exist any. What other sport do we want to talk about this on ESPN 7? I mean. Cornhole was on TV the other day. Speaking of that, look, Kim, we didn't talk about this on the last one. Can we talk about how vile that hot dog eating contest is? My man, Joey Chestnut.

Why would you stick a bun? in water to let it go it smooth it help you eat it well well they didn't enjoy one bite not one bite no yeah but i'm just saying hey he he wins by so much he should break out some ketchup and mustard for like the last one who was second who was second let me look it up it was like 50 something he ate second and he ate 76 or 79 or something 70 jessman 76 hot dog yeah in 12 minutes or whatever it is with a barn with Well, he never eats them at the same time. That's one more than he did.

They like grabbed two. They take the hot dog out, the wiener out, and they eat the wieners, and then they stick the bun in a cup of water. I mean, you're going to talk about terrible. Terrible. They never. No, no, here's the thing about it. The female champion.

That's bad for your body. No. He keeps, he gets one more every year, so he's just expanding. No, no, I'm just saying, hey. Did we find a second place? That's bad for your body. system i found the female she ate 30 and three quarters i don't know how you i deal with my man joey is he wins by such a wide margin he should why don't you start shutting it down because he's setting

records every yeah but who i mean once you got one you want to beat yourself like it's still your name in the record book seven he he keeps up in it so hey you know nobody you got to defend you got to defend because if he starts mailing i mean man's living is basically on can I down 70 hot dogs in 10? Now, how do you train for that? Eat 100? What does that? No, no.

Eat 100 in 20 minutes. What does that come up a minute? 12 minutes? 7.6? Yeah. Is it 10 minutes or 12? I couldn't remember 10. And so then it's...

So basically, he's eating a hot dog every 8 seconds. But that's like, that's front heavy, though, because like in the first two minutes, he's He's got about 30. All right. So Joey Chestnut, New World Record, 76. Hot dog. Jeffrey Esper came in second with 50. So he had time.

He could have dressed up a few of those at the end. Oh, yeah. Or just not ate them, like, done the interview. Yeah, guys, it's a great day. Like, you know. Yeah, I've got the competition beat by 27. I mean, I'm not saying kneel on the ball, but kneel on the ball. Yeah, it's time to go practice.

Yeah. Hey, God. It's got to look for new water. That's the third and fourth stringers come in. I got a call a time out, though. Wow. Because somebody that came in 17th place only ate 17, I might could get there. Oh, right.

17 and. It's harder than you think. How many did? No, we did the hot dog? I know. On the four. Yeah. I won, didn't I?

Yeah. I think I got 11. Did you win, though? No. I needed to go get the video of you asked. I wasn't sticking a man in water. I wasn't stuck. I didn't practice.

That's terrible. I think I could get to 17, but I don't think I don't think I want to no how do they get rid of them i mean i'm pretty obvious answer you gotta throw up at the end right i would go to the hospital like hey i need y'all pump this like whatever this sludge is inside of me like all these all these pig nostrils and chicken toes like let's get that let's get that out that's what i was looking at and part of the goal what i thought well you know how's he going to get rid of these things yeah so i mean 76 of yeah yeah he wouldn't have to eat for about 18.

That's just... That ain't good for your body. I mean, well, what hot dogs are made out of? Now, look, don't hear me hating. I love a hot dog. There's liable to still be some in you from 10 years ago. Yeah.

I mean, well, what them things is made out of? Yeah. I ate a lot of hot dogs last weekend. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. You didn't eat 76 in 10 minutes. I didn't eat 76 in the last year. No.

And I eat a lot of hot dogs. I do love a chili dog. I like chili, though. I like... Oh, yeah. You got to have a little chill. With some onions. With some onions.

With some mustard. The mustard. Just a dog. Just a dog in bread. I ain't about that life. I'm fine with ketchup, mustard, and sometimes a little relish. Oh, no. Yeah.

No relish. No, really. Or. God was out on all things pickle. That is a fine-tuned athlete. How old is Joe? All I have to say is God bless America. How old is Joey Chessonite?

Uh-oh. I lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. He lost it. How old is Joey Chestnut? Joey Jaws chestnut is.

43 year old. Size says 43. He may hit 45. No older. No older than 45. He's got two more years. I'm saying he's 43, though. You're saying he's the finest athlete, the greatest athlete to ever grace America.

It's only 37 years old. 37. He's one more than anybody else. So he doubled his age and hot dogs eight in 10 minutes. Just think about it that way, and let's go to our first bird before I throw up thinking any harder. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means.

That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Tritels beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all. the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know

where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic hot fire that's all you need look because i'll tell you what when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living you can taste the difference the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic so if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season go check out try tails beef i know in size case

christine loves it which is just a uh she doesn't eat me yeah just go to try beef dot com slash duck that's try beef dot com slash duck support ranch families and eat some dang good stuff We should talk about something else. I got a question. What else is going on? Yeah, because you make me sick. You know how the Lord will never let you down? Yep.

Well, why didn't you bring your trumpet? Because I brought you bread. Oh. You know how long it took me to get that bread? Here's what we got to do. Tushay. Tushay. We're going to have to start putting a fine on you, levying a fine on you.

We didn't levy a fine on you. We didn't levy a fine on you. We need a jar. We should have the jar that people have to put money in. Why? We're going to leave you a five of them. Size I did, not mine. I did play taps other day.

It was it good? It was pretty good. Boy, my jaws was sore. You ain't used them. You ain't used them so, hey. I got to play. He said, he said, they rubbed them. He said, they were sore.

I can't play them. instrument so oh he doesn't even need a I know he doesn't need it oh my good that's fantastic

well I was just I knew our fans had been clamoring we need to take down on a barber street you're all in those place of jazz boys

apparently we just need to sit him outside the front door here and put a box there and see people leave him some tip there you go put me a cup out

I'm not going to do that just for fun take my hat off and lay down in front of me no no you need to do that just for fun. We need to get you some sunscreen.

Go on the street corner. I tried one time. I sat on a street corner to see if people would give me money. It worked for Willie. Willie sat in front of the RV that one time. That is true. They got through some chains in his coffee cup. He had coffee in it.

I had a story like that, but I was offered a warm bed to sleep in outside of the hospital. The best part was with Willie's, though, was his picture was on the bus behind him. I didn't have any pictures. Yeah. I was just playing games on my phone outside of hospital. Never forget it. That was a Walmart in Murfysboro, Tennessee. I'll never forget it.

Good old Murphy's fun. That's hilarious. It really was because Willie had to chase the man outside. Here, here, here, his money back. Yeah. Come look on the bus. Oh, Willie took the money? Well, he threw it in his cup.

He threw it in his cup. And then he said, wait, is that you on that bus? Like, well, I never heard the dude. I thought the dude just asked him if he needed anything. No, he threw him a little cash down, And then he looked up and saw his picture on the bus and compared the two of them. It was like, oh. Wait a minute now.

Yeah, hold on now. He judged a book by its cover. That's what he did. That sucker. And then he saw the face on the cover and was like, oh. Oh, boy. Not what it seems. He's doing all right, I hear.

Really? Yeah, he's doing pretty good. I really am a little upset you didn't bring that trumpet. Well. And I didn't even have nothing to offer you and trade for it. Yeah, there you go. You did get a loaf of bread. I did get a loaf of bread.

What was the final ending of that loaf of bread? Did Miss Paula get to try it? No. You just ate the whole loaf? She's got, of course. I worked it up in big old slices like that. It made me a big old ham salmon. I put it in the heat, like in the microwave, like you said, and put butter on.

That was top shelf right there. Top shelf, boy, they. Yes, sir. I've never seen Godwin. so happy is when he talks about a sandwich. I swear it makes him happier than duck out. I cut me some pieces of thick tomatoes.

Maters, yeah. Omaters, boy. Thick slice of purple onion. Everything about this sandwich was thick, boys. It was. Even the boy eating it. How tall was it?

It was about that tall. I had me about seven eight slices of meat in there. Some of that. There's a sandwich. Some of that black forest ham. So Godwin, we had an email from a man named David, who also has an affinity for sandwiches from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Look right up there.

I'm going to throw it up. I got to read the whole thing first. I bet you he had a big old piece of cheese on it. Oh, he had. A few of them. Brisket, turkey, corned beef, ham, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mayo, Dijon mustard on a toasted brioche Kaiser roll. And it looked like that. It looked like that right there.

Take the corn beef out. It'd be pretty good. Look at that sandwich. It's nine inches tall. You wouldn't eat that? Oh, let me tell you what. He sent this. He had to send it for you.

He took that picture. He took that picture of that samuts. And then this is what he did. He squashed that baby so he could fit it all in his mouth. That man, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. That's good. Corn beef, though. I ain't much on me.

Yeah, corned beef, though, corned corned. I ain't much on the Rubens. You don't like a Rubin? Nope. Miss Paula does. She loves them. I like a Cuban more than a Rubin. Never had a Cuban.

Never had a Cuban. It's a ham sandwich with mustard. Is it? No, and pulled pork. I put mustard on my sandwiches. And my age. And Cubans like a pickles now. Oh, and you got to sprinkle lots of pepper on it.

And Swiss cheese. How come when God comes on, we talk about sandwiches so much? Because, well, what else would you talk about? He's a sandwich bag. Here's all I know. He also sent a picture of that sandwich. And that one's got French fries. That looks pretty good there, taste it.

My man Dave. That's a sub-bearer. That's not a sandwich. That's a hoagie-esque. We're about to go down to the is a hot dog a sandwich thing. No, but I was looking at them hand-cut fries. It looked really good. But I think the people should send us in their greatest sandwich.

I need a picture of our listeners' greatest sandwich. Wow. I should have took a picture of that. sandwich on the bread. Send in to hello at duck callroom.com. And we'll have Godwin rate your sandwich on a scale of one to ten. We're going to have Godwin go Gordon Ramsey. Yeah.

Rate my plate. Yeah, what do you give that one? You got to. Well, that one is. It's got corned beef. It's got the good texture. Good texture, first of all. But the Rubin is going to kill the brisket tape.

Yeah. The corned. You need to take the corn beef off of there. So one through 10, what do you give it that's about a seven that's about a seven that's about a seven boys didn't just because of the car and b and which ways what 10's the best and one's the least okay i'm just jack what do you how do you normally rate that duh well hey it depends on how you rate it's the best hey one may be the best hey you know but if you like the number 10 hey go with that

i'm out i'm done i got nothing i can't operate with that logic i cannot He can not. I refuse. He refuses it, boys. Si? I don't, I'm so confused. Where did we go from that? Well, here we go, Sal, I'm going to rate it at a number two.

Let's take our second break. We'll be back after. Number two. You don't know. What are we doing now? I'm going to tell you what we're doing. What did you say? Time to bring the pain.

Well, look, here's something cool about this week. This is number 50. Number 50. We are a number. That's right after 49. Well, we appreciate y'all. running it up area to 50? Yeah.

I mean, is this where we, did we tell them now? Well, hey. Well, you can tell them now or we can tell them? I don't tell them later. Don't tell them. That size quitting? This is it.

50's it. That's all we signed up to do is 50. Contract. Nobody told me. Hey, contract. This is it. Sorry. So, look, we appreciate y'all getting us to 50,

but we didn't want to start that way, but we do feel like we should tell you that. pretty old. It's over. It's thing. Ain't that song? Yeah. Turn out.

And hey, it's so much time flies when you're having fun. It really does. 50 episodes? That's pretty good. That's almost 100. Hey, here's the deal. We're halfway to 100. Halfway to a hundred.

Almost 100 on what scale? Well, you're closer than you were at 49. That's right. Yeah. I mean, I'm just saying. Smart man. I hadn't watched the news for three weeks. What's happened in the,

in the news. In the news? Yeah. Are we just leaving that we're done in 50? Hey, we don't discuss the 50s. Oh, not scale. It's over.

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. Until I get a new contract, it's over. It's over. Johnny, did you not get the email?

No. You did not read the computer. Well, maybe they're giving you a spinoff and just firing us. I don't know. Maybe your show. We're going. You may be John. J.D.'s show.

That's a bad idea. I sure. our man, Big Warren would love that. It's a bad idea. It's a bad idea. Oh, hey. Tell me what's been happening in the news. I don't think we can just leave it.

The joke that we're quitting. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. You've got to stop it. People are sad right now. Johnny D. J.D. You're the only sad one.

We're like, hey, we can go fishing. No. There's plenty of people in the comments that are sad. They're not. Because they are. My contract. That is an Omega XL. I know, but you're all liars.

Hey, I'm just. telling you my contract is over. Okay. We're going to 100. The date. The only way we're stopping. What do you mean going to 100? Episodes.

At least. Hey, I'm not doing another one. People are to listen to. We're going to be back next week. Look, because number one, hey, hey, I hadn't got paid for the 50. Okay, for crying that loud. You think I'm fixing to do another one? Some things are more important.

We're just trying to have fun here. Oh, no. With me, it's about the money, Jack. That's not even close to true. size going back on what he says he said there wasn't a price on a good time but no there's a price oh there you are you're all right hey every man has his price they're lying we'll see you next week for 51 and then 52 and i'll give you an example okay jason done in the event he always does his duck call demonstration he did it and the guy said hey i want to buy that duck call you just blew

And Jason said, it's not for sale. Everything's for sale. And the guy said, I'll give a $1,000. Jay said, hey, I told you it ain't for sale. Jason's an absolute. He said, you know, tripping it. Three grand. Jay said, hey, I told you, ain't for sale.

He said, trippling it. He can make another way. Hey, no, no. Hey, he finally got it up about $10,000. And Jay said, sold him money. He sold the money. He sold a duck call for $10,000. I'm about to send Jason an invoice for that call.

Oh, yeah. I'm at least going to get our 50 bucks out of it, that gumming. Depending on which one it was. No, you ain't getting it. Trust me, what I'll tell you that. That's out. He's gone. Oh, man.

It has been fun, though. I mean, the 50, it's been fun. It's been fun. It's been a good time. I think we should do another 50. And then another 50. That's up to the powers it be. You all are messing with our playlist.

And when the paperwork comes to, all reasons. We'll talk about it. That's right. I've seen the paperwork. Hey, negotiations. Negotions. Negotions. Negotions.

Negotiating. Well, you already negotiated and we're doing this for at least a whole year. So in your face, Jack. He's got the ghost. Oh, I didn't worry my contract. He's got the coach. He got more power than me. That's right.

I didn't warn my contract. All right. Well, see you later, I guess. There's no thing. But they got it over on me already. Okay. That's all of it. All right, side.

You can tell them. Tell them. Okay. Hey, it's a joke. You can tell him, sir. It's a joke. I was genuinely worried that he wasn't joking. Yeah.

You thought you'd done lost your honeyhole did it, isn't you? I got actually had to go work for a living. I'm going to be selling crickets and shiners next week. Yep and shining. The t-shirt wasn't there. Mudbuggies too. But, look, 50, though, that's pretty cool to be able to reach that. And we truly thank everybody for listening.

I've reached 250s this year. Two-fifty? Yeah. Oh, your anniversary. Oh, anniversary. Hey, the 50 years I've been married that mean redhead. and I'm going to give myself a pet on the back there you go

good job that you put up with it and still marry yeah and then the 50 is 50 episodes and I've got to sit by you for like 45 I love her to death boys

just by you know let me show you throw that in there just slip that in even though you call it that way I won't get a beating and I want to get home now you get another piece she gave my 50 dollar bill when he gets on.

The good news, Syes, I don't think Christine watches. The good news is, you don't really care. Yeah, that's the best news. That's the best news. She ain't watching or listening, so I think you're safe. Oh, no. She has to live with me, so, no, she's not interested.

But I am interested in size. Will he sent any bizarre news that we need to talk? Oh, is Willie sent bizarre news? Because I heard something said, okay, that somewhere as a pitting, no, spitting, excuse me, not pitting. Oh, I got to look that one. Spitting, cobra.

Spitting goat. And I wanted to know, did he escape from a zoo? What was the cobra? He was in North Carolina. Spitting, Cobra in North Carolina. He got caught. He wasn't as slick as that tiger in Houston. Yeah.

He got caught. Oh, no. Somebody shoot him? I don't know. I don't really know exactly. Cobra? I don't know if somebody had a pet that got loose? That's suck.

Why would anyone have a cat? Well, hey, look, you got crazy people around this world, okay? Yeah. A bull constrictor, what? There was something in a new about a bull constrictor, I think. Python. There was a Python loose in the Baton Rouge Mall. Oh.

Yeah. But they closed the mall for safety, but not for the people, for the python. Yeah, because they's in Louisiana. They knew somebody decapitate that sucker. That thing was about to come a pair of us. If I'd have seen him, I blew his head off. I know you, and you and everybody else. Come on.

You and everybody else in this state. I'm ready to close the place now. Yeah. So the North Carolina thing. Yeah. What in the name of goodness gracious? I don't know. They had 70 venomous snakes in their basement.

Wow. And one got loose. See what I'm telling. Hey. See what I tell you about crazy people? 70. Look at the look on size space. 70 venomous snakes.

I knew it had to do with a crazy human being. Okay. 70 poisonous of snake. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, venomous. Very different, sir. Well, hey, no, it is. Hey, venomous and was poison are the same thing, okay?

Trust me. Vellum is another word for poison. No, it's not. Expecting when it comes from a snake. Oh, yes, it is. Stop it. No, it's not. All right, sir.

Stop. I would like the biologist to weigh in. You're making me uncomfortable here. Okay, educate me then. Educate him. There's difference between venom and poison. Do you know what it is? No, sir.

Clearly not. He just said there with the exact. I clearly I do not. It's the method in which the toxin is delivered. Venom, bite, insert it into you stung. Something puts it into you. Poison secreted it. Like, don't go lick a frog.

He secretes poison. Why would somebody? A snake, you can lick a snake and you're fine, as long as he don't turn around dopeop you. So that's difference between venom and poison. Both of them, I care you. I was in a fix it. Well, one of them will make you.

You know what this sounds like to me? Okay. Education, you're welcome. No, no, and I'll just give you the initials. That's not like a bunch of BS to me. Oh, big snake facts, okay. Yeah, it's going to be C. Big snake facts.

Big snake facts. One of them. Okay. There we go. There it is. Okay. I thought you said big steak. It's the method of delivery.

I just got a handle. So. You're welcome. I'm teaching you something, Cy. Look, you're welcome. Anyway, they say you can't teach an old dog, new, What was the outcome of the 70 venomous snake? Look at his eyes.

You can read up on it right now. Look at his computer. It's freaking me out. What was the outcome? So it was called a zebra cobra. Say that ten times. Zebko, cobra. It's a zebra cobra cobra.

Zebra cobra. Zebra cobra. Ten time. Real fast. When did you start struggling with ours, hammer? Well, I'd normally say zebra because it makes me laugh. But zebra cobra. Zebra.

The zebra cobras. Join me in my microphone. That is him. So it was in a neighborhood. Tell us, do you know about zebra cobras? Why did he have 70 venomous snakes in his basement? He's a lunatic. Was he selling the venom?

I don't know. We don't have that information yet. He may be doing it. But it was in a neighborhood for like days, and everyone in the neighborhood was terrified because, like, that'll kill you. This thing was loose for days? oh for days and then it it slithered onto a glue trap on someone's front porch

glue trap you can't even get them things off your shoe well they got the snake with it well he's ugly i know that you tell me hey that boy's been whoop with ugly stick but look he's think of him there were 69 of his buddies in a basement no no i know how about that but it's not illegal in north carolina no it's not illegal so now they're trying to pass the law i'm i'm not saying things illegal but you know yeah but 70 that's just dull 70 why unless you're in there making any venom it didn't say what his purpose was or having all them venomous snake not to live apparently i don't even like looking at these things what hey what all did he have like some really cool one i had said like 15 different species he looked like a mixture of a rattlesnake and a milk snake yeah he ain't from around here

yeah he's from south africa look at it oh oh there you did it did bad boy. Yeah, there he is. Buddy, there he is. Now, hey. He's taking his head up way too far. Oh, no, no. The king cobra is, you know,

you're talking about a snake. That's a snake. Yeah, he's, he's one of them, and then mambas. Yeah. Yeah, the black bomb. And the green mamba.

Yeah. Yeah. Why do we always go back to sandwiches and snakes? I don't know. I love Sam. They're interesting, really.

Because everybody has a strong opinion on both of those. Yeah. Everybody loves sandwiches and everybody should hate snacks. I like snakes. I don't.

I like them long as I don't see them. Oh, I like them when they ain't got a head. The only good snake is a dead snake. It's kind of like him boneless chickens, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Oh, hi. You ever been to a boneless chicken ranch? I refuse.

Do you notice when he hits the table? The TV goes off? Well, hey, technology and George. don't go together. Okay. Bouncing up. He's bouncing those. I ain't going to no fun

with the boneless chicken. I hate boneless chicken. Disturbing the frequency. Those are chicken nuggets, people. No, size been at a boneless chicken point. Hey, they're right. Oh, this, don't go there.

What, the Tyson chicken nuggets for? Don't go there, J.D. They're just letting around the kid. It looks like a bunch of worms. Limp noodle, limp noodle. Ain't a bone in that. Feathers. If that ain't a dad joke, I don't know what it is.

That's a granddad joke. And JD just fell right of him. Let's take our third break. We'll be back right after this. What other weird news we got, Sean? We went into the spitting cobra. Spitting co-were. Which isn't weird news.

Here you go. Disturbing. Here's the headline. Iowa man allegedly threatens to blow up McDonald's over lack of sauces. Lack of sauces or sausage? No. Sausage. I got his mugshot and everything.

Yeah. Muck shot. Old Rob, age 42, called up his local McDonald's in Iowa. After finding he had no sauces for his chicken McNuggets, and he threatened to blow up the restaurant and punch an employee over the offense. Rob, my man. Rob, my man, look. Class D felony.

First mistake, going to McDonald's for chicken nuggets. Unless it was like 11 p.m. and that's the only thing. That's all over. But odds are you got like some ham or turkey at home that'll do that for you. I am, yeah. But then you're going to blow it up because they ain't got no sauce? Yeah, you're going to make your own.

Right. I've had all them sauces. Ain't nothing worth blowing up there. Calm down, man. It ain't cane sauce. Like, come on, man. Would you blow up a canes if they ran out of it? No, not if they ran out of it.

I'd be upset if they're like, we don't have it. That's kind of their thing. Yeah, I mean, that's your deal. But there's no reason for violence. I'd be like, you know what? That was a good thing. Hey, it's good tape, boys. Hey.

I'd be like, I'd just be like, you know what? I've probably got something at home I can dip it in. Matter 1-01, I've failed that. Okay. Well, yeah. Are you talking about blowing up the McDonald's? No. I don't even hear the, I don't even hear his belches anymore.

It shakes my chair. There you go. All right, we're back. And we're back. Get in that hello at duck call room mail bag. Before we do, hold on. Hold on. We got to remind people where to find us.

YouTube.com slash duck call room, all one word. And we're going to go for so many more episodes. Maybe. Allegedly. We'll see. Allegedly. But if you'd have it, go back, leave us a nice rating and review on Apple Podcast on our first 50.

Look, don't wait for the next 50. Don't quit procrastinating. Carpe Diem. Do not put on today. Hit them bells, stars, all that good stuff. All right, Johnny D. What's in that mailbox? Hello at duckcallroom.com.

I've been reading. them all morning. We're getting a lot. A lot of good ones. I like this one from Jeremy in grassy Missouri. He needs advice on how to get rid of pests. So here we go. His question is anybody that can chime in, how do you go about getting rid of the population of moles? These little rascals are about the most annoying things. I have a huge family that lives on my little slice of heaven in southeast Missouri, and they've made my yard a playpen. Sy? Lab.

Get a lab. No. A lab. Cat. Kitty cat. Sweetie. No, kitty cat wanted to get rid of them. You got to get you one of them traps.

Oh, to kill the little spear trap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the knife trap. Yeah. What? You ain't seen them thing?

Oh, you anything that? What does it do? You put it, you find their tunnel, like one of their travel corridors. You put it over it, and then they go through it, trip it, walk. Straight down. And come down a big spearhead. Yep.

That's true. I'm looking at them. Was that easy? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was hoping to be like. And then skin it and give it to your girlfriend for a powder puff. Oh.

Huh? Or you can make a tobacco pouch out of that. Cowboy days. Yeah. Or make a tobacco pouch out of. They'd make powder puffs at them. The women did. What's a powder pup?

They put their powder in there. They use that. They use mold skin. Yeah. Yeah. You could use the muskrat too. They're real fluffy. Why you got a face looking like that?

Who don't want to put a mole on their face? You don't put, it's the fur. Some people are born with them there. It's the fur. You put it in the powder in them. I just thought. They're called a holy moly. Holy moly.

Moles just seem kind of great to me. I apologize. I thought I liked it. Holy moly voice. We all have blue-collar comedy to us. Ain't nobody heard that joke since 2002. It is still funny. Amen.

Amen. He got, got sigh tickled over. Lord. Oh, good grief. Okay. You good? Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry.

That's the best laugh of the day. All right, well, let's take our last break. We'll be back right after this. Let's go with this one. Dusty. She sends in, she had, she loved our, comments on dating advice on going to church to find someone. Here's her problem.

At her church, the only guy within 10 years of her age is the preacher, and he has five kids. So he's off limits. She didn't say nothing about his wife. She just said he had five kids. I'm going to assume he's married. Yeah,

we figure he would be a widow. So if we have any other suggestions on how to find people besides the church. Are you a one? church town are you a one church town or a group I mean there's groups I doubt if it's a one church town because most of the towns I've driven through they got two churches they got no they got a whole bunch of yeah yeah so you just need to go go go drive it through your town yeah I'm not saying become a member of the other yeah you don't have to become a member go visit I go visit and look at the potential potential okay that is a point

fellows that are at this other or perhaps get with all the other churches and organize a mixer a mixer there you go there you go i like a mixer you might establish something big here yeah you may start a new minister yeah go go there you go there it is dusty we just saw what i can't do that i can't do that ain't nobody else doing it yeah and then she also asked us to tell stories of how we met our significant others but especially stone since he isn't much of a piece of it people person oh hey they'll arrange that no no no look that's very easy okay grandpa you know is the one that you know got this thing started now I ain't saying we went back to the 1500s but we's close oh yeah oh yeah we scared it on that one

there was two women got that started well I was it hey what's two women Miss Paula and and Lisa and Lisa because Stone was living with me and Anna was living across the road and them two women yeah but the okay yeah but the okay for it was Phil Robertson that's because I told Phil to talk to but look because he was too embarrassed to

I asked out if he could date her well hey that's the best you and Miss Paula needed some a long time didn't he pay them bills I wouldn't want to stop quit falling for that day oh okay didn't you? No shift work

ship worked back in baby Yeah, baby. Change all the time. Oh, that was way back when, huh? Oh, yeah. That's changed all the time. Well, yeah. Storn and Anna, I've been married for like 20 years.

I guess so. 15. 15, 17, something. Something like that. So that's the story. I met Allison at Raising Cains. There you go, on that sauce pan. At the sauce powder.

You ain't got on that pizza. He was saying. I'm sorry. You ain't got on that pizza. All right, next question. Y'all let fry chicken. No, no. I'm not.

good looking redhead I married. On the-hiking boy. Yeah, on the side of the road. I was dating Paula's roommate. Uh-oh. And her name was Paula. This is the whole episode. What kind of Jerry Springer thing just happened?

You were dating Paula and then you married a roommate Paula? Yeah. That's all right. Paula won and Paula three. Uh-oh. I hope you said Miss Paula. No, this boy's got a hang-up with Paula's. Hey, don't let him go see.

Paula Dean, boys. I think you've been typecast, Gabbling. Hey, this boy likes Paula's only. Oh. How do you feel about Paula Abdul? She's pretty cold. She can danks. She's dants, boy, hey.

Oh, Lord. I told you he was on the up with Paulus. I don't think we have enough time for that story, but I really want to hear it. I wouldn't much to it. It didn't last long. It's just a trade-up. He said it's a simple trade-up.

It didn't. It didn't last long. The first paula, so I just moved on to that. I like your roommate. Way better than you. Say, why are you here? Hey, well, you want to go out? Yeah.

I don't know. I had two of them at the same location, well, the first one didn't work out. So, hey, come back and see what second. Hey, I was still in the same in the good basket there. There you go. That is. Fish barrel, fish barrel.

There you go. What else you got? What else you got, Jay. All right, that's probably the last one, but I like this one, and I feel like we're all experts in the category. Courtney from Florence, Alabama sends in, they live in Florence, obviously. Roll-tide. Hey, this is Alabama.

We're talking about, boys. Hey, why do you do that? Because everybody from Alabama, this in them comments, Just what, yeah. Right. Everybody else in the comments, we apologize. Which is going to allow us to do 51. We love Uncle Nick.

They will be visiting West Monroe in a couple weeks. Are there any must-see places? And more importantly, any places we must eat. All suggestions are welcome. Visiting West Monroe. Yeah. Tips. Visiting, yeah.

We got a lot of waffle houses. Yeah, places to eat. We got two chick filets. Hey, there's, I mean, the problem is you're coming at a bad time of year to experience Louisiana because crawfish is probably going to be gone. Carliners, yep. I saw a guy dumping crawfish into my pond like last week. And I was like, really?

That's one of them farms get them all. Yeah. And then their shells are too hard to sell, so they'll sell them as bait. So you can stock your pond with them. Oh, no, these were cooked crawfish. He was just throwing the shell. I was like, he would just eat crawfish? Yeah.

They're still, you can still get you. some but you're going to miss all the good local stuff like that uh i mean there's some there's some places around you know cotton parish all them kind of johnnie's pizza johnny's pizza that's our famous doze steakhouse those is good traps traps a solid local place um yeah i mean there's just and then you can come by the duck commander warehouse yeah and visit us if that's what you want to take a tour if that's what you want to do it's a three if you've never seen a three not three If you've never seen a cypress swamp, you can head on out to Black Bayou Lake National Wildlife Refuge. That's a cool place.

They got a little boardwalk. You can go walk around. Maybe see an alligator. No, you will see one of them. There's no doubt about that. That place full of them. Alligators. Yeah.

That's what they make sound. Who made that noise? Got one. An alligator. You didn't even say it, did it? Only a duck man can do something like that. Sad. And the water.

The water. bubbles. Yep. When they do it. The water bubbles? Yeah. When they do that, because it's deep down

in their lungs. And it just... The alligator we caught that one time. The vibration. Yeah, he'll do that too. Yeah. That was weird.

But that's, you know, that's the deal with it. Hey, Gimber, our old office mate. Oh, yeah. He's got a place called the Levy Grill. Yeah.

You can go check that out. Yeah. Then there's some new place called the Flying Heart. I don't, I haven't eaten there. you I'm interested they got pizza the frying heart flying heart oh the flying hard if it was a frying hard okay okay where's it located downtown somewhere yeah we have a very large downtown metropolis era

here in west Monroe so if you go down there you might get lost large yeah that's funny it's a street you can skip a stone all the end of the end of you ain't even got to throw it you can just kick it it it amazes me that people visit west Monroe you know what you need to do get a time machine go back to 1998 but they're from florence are they coming to see jennifer is it a relative coming to say jennifer because she had her baby different last name uh oh different

um just curious but you get a time machine you go back to nineteen ninety eight and you come and watch the monroe moccasins play and that's that is the most fun any human being has ever had in this town i'd go back to the eighteen hundred and mudd yep

you can walk across a river right there in front of hired. Was that some of your folk? The Howard Griffin. Ancestors. Which one? Hired Griffin. Those were not.

Those were other Howards. You could walk across the river back in. You could walk across the water. That's what Granny told me. It was nothing but a ditch. It was a regulation river. Yeah. You could walk across it.

Yeah. It wasn't until locks and dams and levees went up that it got to be what it is now. Yeah. You could do it down there in the Big Bend where it feels property is. Shells. That's a big river. Not a lot of shells. Why are we doing that?

Most of shells and stuff. Why are we doing it? Barge traffic. Barge traffic. Commerce. I didn't know. The bridge is never up anymore. Yeah.

I made that false assumption last summer too, about died. So there's still plenty of barges that come up and down that river. Oh, I'll go. Yeah, they will. Yeah. If you find one in a blind curve, that's a good time there. You got a whoa. Hold on.

You got a whoa up. Even if you wow up, That first one still smart, so it don't matter. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I make a pretty good wake. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that is Weston. They loaded. There you go. Yeah, West Monroe. Come visit us. Not a lot to do during the summertime. It's going to be hot.

I'm just warning you there. Go swimming. Hot and humid. You can't go swimming in the river. Yeah. Or probably ought to let that river die down a little bit. It's got a lot of current in it. It's quick.

But that is West Monroe. Come visit us. Come see us. Come out of store. Take a tour. Have fun. You might even want to run by the honeyhole. Drop us off some peanut em and them.

Oh, honey hole. There's a tourist location. There you go. There you go. If you ever wanted to see how many fishing baits you could fit into an old 7-11, they might be setting the world record for that. Come on a Sunday, go to meetings with us. That's right.

Go to meetings. Yeah. Wysfaird Road, Christ Church, but choose you do. There's a bunch of churches in this town. We got all of them. Well, what's our verse? Well, I'm going to let Courtney from Florence, Alabama, give us the verse too.

She said, she tagged a little one on of Psalms 34, 8. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Which is a good verse.

It's a solid verse. Amen. Yep. Well, Courtney, maybe we'll see you when you get here. Yeah. But we're out. Until next time,

we will see y'all at 51. And 52 and 140. Thanks for listening.