Duck Call Room - Jase Robertson REALLY Blew It When He Proposed to Missy

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

Jase Robertson made a MESS of his proposal to Missy, and that inspires Uncle Si, Martin, and John-David to share their proposal stories. But first, Si wants a pet alligator for Duck Commander. Martin ranks Phil Robertson's hunting dogs, and John-David wants to know why Jase has the least manly dogs on the planet. Phillip learns the hard way why you NEVER do yard work in shorts — and ends up nearly naked in his yard. And the boys offer advice to a girl who's been crushing on her friend for 15 years. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're still tootting on that oxen. You're having a rough day? Yeah, it's too hot out there. It's too long of a weekend. It's muggy. It was a boring weekend. You Memorial Day did it up? Yeah, all I did was watch that, and it made me sad.

Yep. Yeah. This whole world we living in is real in bad shape, boys. Oh, there ain't no doubt about that. There ain't no doubt. But, welcome back to the duck call room. Anyway, it's been a long Memorial Day weekend, you know, to those that paid the ultimate sacrifice. Yep.

And gave their all. Yeah, we're appreciative because it allows us to sit here and opine about nothing, which is what we're good at. For the families of those who's paid the ultimate sacrifice, our thoughts and prayers are with you. We love you. You know, and I'm sure that most of them you talk to don't seem like they'd do anything different if they could have. Most of them did what they was. What they signed up to do. What they wanted to do.

Yeah. They were okay with that. But it just, it amazes me what the human spirit can rise to on some of the stuff that these guys have done. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you see those movies. and shows about it, and they're like, no, do what? Yeah. Because my brother, he came back from overseas,

and he actually stood on, like, Omaha Beach and all the places, D-Day, all that. He stood in both places where the German was, and then he stood where the American was. And he come back and he says, I've never really understood, but thank you, brother, for your service. He said, because I had no clue

of what you guys actually really, face sometimes. And I said, well, I've been very fortunate. I ain't had any real bad experiences. Yeah, that beach ain't Gulf Shores. But, hey, it's big.

Some of them. Is that his oxygen? In case you are wondering, there was a little audio deal. If you're listening to this, you probably heard, psh, psh, that was size oxygen. He's fine. He's turned it off, so we should have that issue. It's a warm day

outside here. It was. Oh, it's hot. You're actually doing a little bit better since you met with that doctor. Seems like. Yeah, Connolly was a pretty cool dude. Yeah. The dock? That's the one that's putting the stuff in your lungs? Well, I don't think I'm going to fit the bill, so to speak.

That's probably a good thing then, huh? No, it is. Yeah, it could be. Either way, it's good. Either way, I ain't worried about it. I was hoping to see. I, late night on the game show network on commercials. Oh, no.

Look, I'm on four bonus years right now. What's that man? Hey, the good Lord promises you 70 years. I'm 74. So I'm on the bonus boys. He's free rolling. I'm free rolling right now. I ain't worried about it.

70 years? No. Hey, look, I went to Jamestown in Virginia where the pilgrims landed. John Smith? All them, yeah. And the boys? The thing that impressed me the most of it is when we went through the cemetery up there. What was that?

And most of them had it written on their tombstone. Don't stand there worrying about me. I'm just waiting on the resurrection. If it was on one, it was on a hundred. There you go. That's why all of us should feel. No, no, no. That's what my face said.

That's why I said, look, hey, death ain't nothing but a change. dress voice. So listen to this. Now, I don't know if you've told this story or not, but me and I are coming back from Houston, and we happened to call a buddy of ours saying, hey, meet us at the steakhouse. We're going to get us a nice steak before we go home.

Medium plus. Real nice. And medium plus. Not medium well. And the chef was incorrect on his assessment on that. There, New York. I think that's where you're from. But hey, you was wrong.

It is a medium plus. It is after size nails them with it. the time I order it. So anyway, do it correctly. That's because they just think you're a crazy old man. They give you medium well and see if you notice. No, it ain't medium well.

No, it was perfect. It's like pink in the middle. That's medium plus. But this is weird because... Between medium and medium. But hey, let's tell the story. This is important. So anyway, he says, you know, guys,

since we're here together, I do want to tell you, I've just been struggling with something. My son is engaged to be married, and his wife don't know if she can, have kids or not, you know. And so I said, that's my story. I convinced a lady to marry me for, it took me 14 hours and he told the whole story. But she, she said, sigh, you're so good with kids. Ms. Christine did. She said, I can't marry you because I can't give you kids. I can't have

kids. So I said, don't worry. I know somebody. And she was like. Well, she laughed at and talking about you know somebody. I said, hey, I tell you, if we're supposed to have children, we'll have them. So now he's got eight grandboys and two kids of his own. That's ten miracle babies. Okay. Yeah, Brittany was always told it'd be tough for her too, and here we are. That's wild. When you say that, okay, with us, everything is not possible.

Right. But with the Almighty, everything is possible. And so that's what you were telling Sal. And Sal said, you know what? I'm going to tell my son this story. story because they need to hear this. He said he needs to hear it to make up his decision, well, am I going to marry this woman because I love her? But, you know, and I said, well, hey, here's another thing. If that don't work out, there's babies out there that need

to be adopted for Kyle out there. That's right. That's true. Ain't that true. Yeah. So, hey, either way, okay, God will provide you a child. Mm-hmm. Okay, because that's when Abraham, I think, was going to kill his son. Mm-hmm. It says Abraham had reasoned in his mind that he could raise him from the debt. Yep. That's a strong faith. You know, I'm going to tell you, I know you were praying for my wife when she was going through some tests and you guys were too.

I really appreciate that. But, you know, God is good. Just when you think things are out of control and when you can't control things, it's scary. You know, and I stopped by a duck commander on my way to. Baton Rouge and sat down with Justin and we had a prayer and just calm me down because I was I was just high anxiety yeah yeah but we got down to the doctors and did much of test and they said your wife's fine she's great everything's wonderful she's healthy as the horse I just like you know I mean oh no see that's the thing most people don't realize okay you said God is great all the time

yes okay because they blame the wrong person for all the wrong stuff that is going on. No, that's true. Okay. There's two supreme beings, or whether it's four, really. You know, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, then there's the evil one, okay? And that's why all the bad stuff comes from. Yep.

He seeks around, seeking whom he can destroy. Yeah. But, you know, the Father's Son and Holy Spirit are always good stuff. Always good stuff. Amen. Ain't that's true. Well, let's take our first break. We'll be back right after this.

All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good.

Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left, in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire. That's all you need. look because I'll tell you what when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living you can taste the difference the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic so if you're stocking

the freezer for grilling season go check out try tails beef I know in size case Christine loves it which is just a she doesn't eat me a big meat eater folks yeah just go to trybeef dot com slash duck that's try beef dot com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good state. So, Sire, you celebrated by watching all the historical things. Yep. What about you, Sean? Y'all swim? Do y'all work? You open on Memorial Day? We were. My dad handles that. People who aren't going to go fishing on Memorial Day, and we're there to make sure they can. But now, me and my wife did go see film. Top Gun? About the Navy. How was it? Everything I've read said it's better than one. Is that true?

Here's the deal. I'm going to see it tonight. Don't blow up for you. But every sequel ever pretty much ruins the first one. And I don't go to a lot of stuff. I'm like, no, that was a great movie. Why are we redoing this? But I was the guy with Tom Cruise in his dorm room with the thumbs up, and I had the Maverick T-shirt back in the day in high school, and the movie was old then.

I might go with you tonight. It is that good. Okay. It's wonderful. Wow. Go America is all I have to say, too. It's good. Look at there.

Like all the high school. All the hype you've heard, if you're the guy like me, it was like, ah, sequels are for suckers. They're going to ruin the story about Goose and Maverick and all the love and how Ice Man and they're all friends. At the end, they're going to ruin it. No. Tom Cruise said, we're going to make it even better.

It was fantastic. My wife loved it. That's a ringing endorsement there. That's pretty amazing when you think about it. It's a remake of, you know. Well, and, you know, a lot of these movies these days got, you know, political, woke. This is America rules,

Tom Cruise rules, and we're going to find fast in planes, baby. I'm excited. Oh, I almost cheered a couple times. On more than one occasion. We need to all go to the movies, but don't bring Mountain Man. It wasn't planning on it.

Oh, it was awesome, though. I mean, I can't. My wife had never seen the first top gun, which, you know, I should have asked her before we got married. But it should have been a prerequisite. So we watched the original Top Gun Saturday night and then went and saw Top Gun on Sunday after church. And, I mean, it was wonderful.

Well, to you, it was impressive. They did a good job. He's impressed. I am. Go Navy. Beat Army? Well. Watch it now.

Actually, yeah. We work together, guys. That's just what you always hear for the Army-Navy football game. Navy beat Army. Unless you play in a football game. One of my best friends from high school went to Navy, so I will say go Navy beat Army. I'm on the Navy side.

You may get dope-op, though, because I was sitting right there behind you. Pop gun was awesome. That's what was so cool about this weekend, okay, when I was watching all this stuff. You know, and then they done the concert that they always do in D.C., okay, and the bands come out and, you know,

stand for your song. You know, well, I actually stood twice. Oh, wow. Because dad's pictures over there. Yeah. He was in the Navy. That's pretty... Wow.

Okay. So it just hit me out of this. This is pretty cool. Can I tell you, gents, what yesterday was for me? Uh-uh. Seven years, boys. Oh, congratulations. Seven-year anniversary.

All right. So... We got this thing whoop now, son. Seven years. Seven years. Seven year. That's big. Yeah, that's big time.

I said eighth is going to be the one that test us. Oh, that's not true, friend. John, David, how long are you married? You're remodeling a house and your wife is pregnant with twins. That's what's going to test him. That's what I'm saying. Number eight is going to be the roughest one of all of them. Yeah, yeah, no, it's, you got to.

Oh, yeah. She called me today, she said, so they're here working on the house. Yeah. She said they forgot to turn off the air conditioner. What? So it's blowing dust. Because they tearing up some tiles.

Uh-oh. And I said, well, nine out of ten ain't bad. 90%. You go a long way. I said, I'll clean it up. It happens. You know, whatever. Meatloaf said two out of three.

Yeah. It ain't bad. No, it ain't bad. Meatloaf said that. Two out of three ain't bad. Two out of three. I guess I only heard the one meatloaf song. I want you.

I won't. I need you. I don't know. Oh, Lord. But there ain't no way. You'd probably be going to get a lot. Hi. Okay.

So seven years. Seven years. Memorial Day and you celebrated your seven year anniversary. Uh-huh. That's big time. And I cooked what may be my favorite thing that comes off a cow now. I was about to say that's a pig, but then you said it comes off a cow. What kind of steak?

Well, see, here's a deal. Beef ribs. Buddy. Is my right? Yes. Oh, beef ribs. Buddy. Okay.

Yes. If you've never had. bone-in beef short ribs. That's like a dinosaur rib. It is so good. The way I would describe it is bone-in brisket. Think of it like bone-in brisket. Did you have left-off?

You must have got a good cook. No, I did not. You must have got a good cook on them. Who doesn't have leftovers after? It was like bone-in brisket. We were over at Buddy's house, and I took them. I'm glad I didn't take them as a main attraction because I thought five pounds. You know, I read five pounds on package.

Like, that'd be enough for most of it. That's a couple pounds of bone. Yeah, got three big bones in that rack. So it really cut down to where everybody got just like a couple of slices. But a bone in beef rib. Oh, it's good. He fire. Cook him to about 200 and you let him rest.

Took about six hours. I'm not good at the let them rest part of barbecue. No, that's why you got to put them up and hide them. You can't see them. You can't let them rest where you're looking at them. Yeah, because you eat them. I know. You got to put them to.

You got to put them to bed and walk away from it. Yeah, I'm not allowed them. That's the hardest thing over there when Stone will cook. And then you go back in there and you wake him up. You say, are you ready? Are you ready? It's your time. And then you get him out and you start slicing.

Word to wise, even after a 30-minute rest time, that bone is still hot. Very hot if you grab it. I said, ooh, okay, okay. I need some gloves. Let's find some gloves. But folks at home, bone-in beef ribs. Did you use the W sauce? I did not.

Mine came in. I hadn't tried it yet. Salt, pepper, paprika, garlic. That's all I put on them. Yeah, Texas barbecue at its finest. You got the W. W. Well, when Martin tells me something, I immediately buy it.

Also. And it... My mother stumbled across some more that Little Debbie ice cream. He texted me a picture. And she bought everyone that has. I've been, I've been sampling. I will say, number one, and that whole version.

There it is. There's a picture Martin sent me, though. Yeah, I texted John David that. I said, love you, mean it. I said, well, where's mine? What is it? What is it? Him is good.

Certifiably good right there. I used to keep Star Crunch in the refrigerator and then get like a gallon of milk out and drink the whole thing and put the Star Crunch in the milk until it got like really cold and kind of... Mm-hmm. That one's good.

Chewy. Star Crunch. That one's good. Out of all the other one, like he's not just... You know, ice cream with a little bit of the cake in it. He's good. He real good.

Well, it's good to know your mom bought them all, so I won't run. She only bought one. Fresh out. Oh. She just bought like a sample pack. All the one, boy. Yeah. I was about to say, so I know not to run by Walmart.

No, she just bought like one of each to try them out. Oh. But he's top of the heap. No doubt about it. That one, Star Crunch. You run across that Star Crunch ice cream. Go ahead and grab him. He's good.

My mom made Milky Way ice cream. That's her day. That sounds good. it's legit. She made it herself? Mm-hmm. My whole life, whenever mom makes homemade ice cream is Milky Way,

and it's wonderful. I like a Milky Way. Imagine it in an ice cream. I like a tree musketeers, too. The tree musketeer. Three musketeer. Three. He's over here literally all sides doing right now.

I was thinking that we're wrong because we hadn't said black walnut. No, no. Oh, that's fine. I'm actually sitting here thinking about thinking the fans for the lemon juice and for the knife. Oh.

That's what I was thinking. We had a couple gifts coming. Paul from Texas, I opened up the box, it said to the duck call room. It was just packets of lemon. So that was Versailles. And then our man Andrew, who sent us a few things. Snip, Daddy. Yeah, he's part of that club.

He made Jason knife, too. And then. He sent like a dragon knife. Yeah, a dragon knife, which is stuck in my... Chia pet. Whatever that thing is. Voodoo doll. And then the guy that actually, Austin, that sent me the...

the arrow hits. There you go. These are cool. And look, hey, it was a good mail weekend because there is a box slam full of some kind of peanut butter cup. Yeah. They're not rice. There's some, oh, gee, I can't remember the name of them.

It could be better than that. But his name said from Bighead. Bighead. Oh, you know Big Head. At first I thought it was too big head, which I just assumed was me. Yeah. Because that's what I've been called my whole life. That's it.

I wouldn't, if it said to Bighead, I would have been like, well, that's Mark. But then I reread it and it said from Big Head. So Big Head, you know you and thank you, Big Head. Big Head, wherever you are. Oh, wait. You know who you are. Big Head has, I just searched all our emails. And there it was.

And there's Big Head. Big Head once sent an email about deer running from a Black Panther. About what running from a Black Panther? Deer. Bighead? They jumped off a bridge trying to get away from a black panther. Black Panther. Big head.

That's what I'm talking about. Harry Cloud. I'm watching it. Are we taking a break? Let's watch this video. Yeah, let's take a break. We'll be back on. He's guys on video.

I wish we had about a 12-foot alligator pet in here. Roll? Are we rolling? Hey, no, Cy. Tell us about your pet alligator when you and Phil were growing up. Look, we had him tied over the Red River. Anytime we wanted to go somewhere, he went over and Hopped on him, untied him, and, hey, took him down the river up, river, whatever.

You had a pet alligator on a leash? Hey, this is a story, JD. Jerry Clowers, but... Hey, but hey, the red river is full of them. Keeping Jerry Clowers' memory alive. That's right, boys. Right here. Hey, storytelling.

Why would you want a 12-foot alligator in this room? I would like to have them in here as a pet. Why? In here? Can it just be fun? No, it won't. Yeah, well, it would. men stoned every time we go fishing we can take the carcasses and bring them in here and feed

a big alligator we can put him out there with a duck hey we call it a two-foot alligator hey and look we can call him big head but what are you going i ain't calling him nothing oh i call him big head that may be the one at eight chubbs finger hey well hey i'd call him anything he won me to call him no he's dead yeah 12 foot alligator happy got him but where would you put it this is a small room i had my experience was the 12 or 15 alligators down there in Venice. Now you want a whole dozen out? So you wouldn't even get next to the bank of the water, but now you want one in here with us?

When I walked down there, what got me about that is that, hey, that duckweed that gadwales eat was all over the top of water, and you couldn't see nothing but that. And I'm going down there, and we're getting close to the water, and that's when Josh slapped the water with that stupid skeleton of that speckled trout, and then that big 11-foot alligator come out of the water.

And what did you do? And I went back up to hill. And you won't go in here with us. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I want one in here as a pet. Hold on now. You hate snakes, but you'll take an alligator? Oh, no, I like alligators.

Okay. We get a pet alligator as soon as we get a pet snake. Y'all need to put a pet alligator in the pond after the duck. I've been saying that for years. Who's going to take care of me? I wasn't going to do that. The ducks? Huh?

The ducks? The ducks? Oh, yeah, the ducks will take care of it. Self-de. How are the ducks, by the way? We're down to like three, I think. You'll be down more than that. You'll have to keep adding more ducks, you know,

because the alligator's going to eat the ducks. I'm about tired of feeding them stupid. Well, hey. Sell some food. A lot of people feed them. I tried to figure out a way to get one of them gumball machines. You can put a quarter in there and get your little cup of corn and dumping out there, too. They got them at the zoo.

But the problem is we're going to have kids come in there and dump that corn in the water, and then we just got a big vat of freaking ever cleared. Like, I mean, it's just going to be, it's just going to be fermented water. Like, we're going to have a big liquor distillery out there. It's going to sting. Must be 21 to feed the ducks. That must be 21. If you could get them smart enough where they just pour it on the ground, I'd do it.

But then as soon as that corn start going in that water, we're going to have a big pile of stink on our hands. I got a question, though, about Jace and why he gets the least manliest dogs of any human being I've ever seen. Because he hates dogs. He's got two dogs. My kids, literally my three-year-old daughter's like, it's a yippy dog. It is like five pounds and a little cotton ball. And they just, you drive out, you walk by, you drive by. They will bark at you.

A yuppy. Because he ain't picking the dogs out. That's a yippie. Missy is. And he hates dogs. It's just like Stone. He hates humans. Yeah.

Aone doesn't hate humans anymore. He's got a list of 10 people. But you got to realize. something. Those are the people person from way back. So, Jace grew up in a duck hunting family and Phil, God love him. It ain't had but one good dog at a 20. Yeah.

He's had one good one and a couple of okay. What about the last one? Who is the good one? Vegas? Peggy. Peggy? I ain't heard. Peggy.

Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue. I don't even. Peggy Sue never, no, don't remember. The one I remember is she was a golden lab. That was the best one he had. Talking about Chet.

No, no, that's bills, dog. Yeah? Yeah, the ladder climber. Yeah. Peggy, to me, was the best one I've hunted with. Now, I didn't get to hunt with none of them. But I was on the hills of Peggy. And then we had Trace, which was like the best, mildest mannered lab,

but she just didn't have it. I mean, she'd go get them, but she wasn't in no hurry. But wasn't the, like Gimbers, don't. Wasn't enthused about it. And a cripple was going to slicker every time. Oh, yeah. She's just like, ah, whatever. Yeah.

Now, blue. The best one for retrieving. Yeah. The best one for retrieving was blue. But he had a bunch of issues. Yeah. He was, he was hearing things in his head. No, no, no.

And singing along with it. Blue. Blue his sigh. Blue like that, Blue kind of like at, that number 11 on that Stranger thing show. Just kind of, you know, they're something different about it. You know? That's where blue is.

I don't even remember what the golden lab was. You're a poodle? I know. The golden lab he used to have in Jackson City, Arkansas. Oh, I wouldn't, yeah. Right. Chuck, yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't even know a thought of it.

She was the all-around hunting dog and good family dog. Okay, so because he hunted squirrel with her. Because all she'd do is she'd run up there. if there was squirrel in the tree, she had put her piles on it, you know, back up, go ahead and shoot them with a shotgun. Because that's a cat squirrel or if I scroll up there, trust me. Then wood ducks, you know, we'd shoot them on the creek, on the door on the creek, or not on the dogbone creek, but a corny creek.

Slip up in a bin where all the acres float and float or in that bin. It'd always be a bunch of wood ducks there. Bushwhack them. So, hey, we slip up there. But hey, you got to know this. Wood ducks are slick. Oh, yeah. Because, hey, we'd slip up our crawl on their belly like snakes.

To the edge of the creek and raise up. When we did, they wouldn't jump up and fly. They'd dive. And about 30 yards out in the middle of the creek, here they'd come up out of the water flying. Submarine. Oh, yeah. So you had to be pretty good. Because you had to just be ready.

And then whenever they popped up out there, about 30, 40 yards, go ahead and get down, start killing. I'd love to went to size elementary school. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. I remember one time I'm daydreaming. And I'm into it big time. Yeah. Because I'm flipping up on a 12-point buck with a bow.

And you're... This is a daydream? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm in class. He's probably sleepwalking. No, no, no. I'm serious. Okay.

And I hear this voice, you know, saying something. I just, shh. That's his teacher. No, no. To the teacher, I'm... I'm flipping up on this buck. Y'all, and then there's just a horrific roar of laughter brought me out of it. I'm telling the elementary school been wild, what's I?

Oh, no. Wow. I have seen Sioux sleep with his eyes open. That's the truth. Oh, hey, you learned that in the military. Oh, hey. It's scary. Yeah, you learn that in the military.

You sleep anywhere, any time, even standing up if you have to. You can't sleep. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hey, look, so when we went quail hunting, those dogs were amazing. They let them out, and they would sneak up on them quail. And then look, they just freeze when they sit, get close enough. They just lock up right where the quail are.

I always liked it. I always liked it when they train him one. The dog animal would come up there and grab him by the tail and put it, set him down. All right, let's take a break. That reboots them. That reboots them. That reboots them before we go. Hey, he grabbed him by the tail on luck.

If he wasn't pouring the right blade, he was pointing the right way. The rudder system. Oh, no. It's hilarious. I didn't know where we was going on with that, but I was ready to get out of there. It is time.

He didn't know where we was going on Social Security. I was ready to leave you there. He's like the guy with that kill switch, Martin is. That's it, boy. Hey. Oh, I'll pull the plug now. Go ahead and put. For real, though.

Let's take a break. Take a break. For real. You do yard work? Oh, do I do? yard work yeah i didn't know you did good about four rakers we'd eat i'll take care of all of how many you have two boys or three two boys one girl you made them do a lot of yard work for a while yeah but now they've moved grown and gone so now you're on your own so i was mowing saturday remember

i was telling you all i got some uh you got some metal in your ear some sparks from cutting a piece of metal with a grinder got some sparks on y'all didn't know this but this is the odd jobs kind of guy in here oh yeah it's i'm a regular godwin Oh, Gawain's a parts changer. So I'm riding my mower back up to the house. I'm through mowing. And something has flown or crawled up into my shorts. Oh.

Oh, yeah. It's a lonely feeling here. It's either a lizard or a field mouse. Oh, no. Oh, big. Oh, it's something that's... I was thinking insect. No.

No, we're talking about something with... Oh, okay. So my wife... You just saw his face. My wife is outside. looking and she's looking and the mower's going one way and I'm jumping off the mower going the other way but I'm trying to hold whatever it is in my pants why do you want to keep it there because I don't want it going up any further it's got no he's he's oh you you you you created a

barrier I've got a great wall I've got a death grip right down here on something that's alive and I'm taking my shorts off and running toward my wife so she can help me And you just bailed on the mower. The mower is gone into the woods by now. Well, here's a, I want to just make an observation here. Hold on. I can't let go of it because I'm not sure what it is. I understand that.

That mower can take you faster than two little stumpy legs can. Why didn't you just ride it out? It speaks volumes about your wife, though, that you got in trouble and you just started running to her for help. Yeah, she had a spatula in her hand. I said, honey, help me. And she starts walking toward me. She's like, what are you doing? Aim small, miss small.

So I managed to get my belt off with one hand while I'm strangling something else with the other, some animal. And I finally get my shorts off and I'm beating them on the concrete. Here she comes with a spatula. I was like, did it give me? Did it, you know? At this point, you're not wearing any pants in your after yard. Right, exactly. Do you have a ring video doorbell?

Not that I can show you. My phone needs to be written here. Make it in my front yard. Is this on video? Not as far as you know. So my daughter walks outside to help cook and turns around and walks back in. She said, no. Addie's in his drawers again.

He's out in the yard of drawers again. So. She said, that's usually Saturday night, not Saturday morning. I go inside, I leave the shorts there because something's dead and whatever it is. Are you sure? We didn't even inspect it. it? Yes, we went back. She said, let's go find out what it was. And?

Nothing? Nothing in my pants. It's gone. It has crawled off. And she said, that was a mouse. A mouse got up in your shorts. Ain't no way. Boy, ain't no way. Boy, ain't no way. Ain't no mouse got up in there. You grabbed that mouse. He'd have bit you. Yeah. No, it was something to lie. He'd either bit your leg or your finger. It was probably about this big, but it was squishy.

a duck call that he's holding for our list. It was, it was squishy and moving. I mean. Was it a snake? It could have been a snake. No, who wasn't a snake? He'll be it too. Well, he didn't have a chance to buy it.

I'm going with a lizard. Because I clamped down so hard. Gecko. Lizard, yeah. What's that lizard with the blue tail? Oh, a skink. Yeah, that's what. You wouldn't have been able to kill him just with your hands.

Uh-uh. Clearly he didn't. I didn't kill him. I mean, I had a death grip on him. And when I got them short, off and slammed them on the ground and took off running inside and my wife inspecting me she's like you're fine go back out there and finish you know put your pants back on put your pants back on and go by finish the yard she wasn't impressed with my rodeo riding shorts throwing no that's a true story

that's not even 5% fake it's all true philip 5'7 got two foot long leg and says you know what i can out run at I got to run it. You had some tactical errors involved with this anyway. I was going in the wrong direction. You'd never made it. Earn that thing around. He didn't have time. You had never made it as a Navy seal.

You can't think. You've got to be cool on the pressure. No, he's more equivalent to a baby seal. When something's crawling up your pants leg, short's leg, you cannot stop and think, maybe I'll just ride my moor to the house. Oh. That sounds like a good idea.

No, you're like. Help me, honey. I will have to say. Let's analyze this. I will have to say I learned a valuable lesson in high school about exactly what you're talking about. I always had to work through the summers. And the only thing you can do then basically was landscape yards. Like, that's just what you did.

That's it. Young, strong back, that's what you did. Not much mentally. It's hot, right? Yeah. Not much mentally. No, you didn't have a lot going on up there. You ain't got much going on up top.

You know, cash registers or landscaping. That's about the only time. things you was mildly qualified to do. But I learned a lesson. I mean, it was hot. And one day I said, you know what? I know they say wear pants. I'm wearing shorts.

And buddy, I got eat up by some purple tail wasp up in a bush. And I said, you know what? I see why they say wear britches every day. I said to this day, I don't do any yard work in short because you have exposed yourself to more peril. Oh, yeah. You know, wear them britches all the way. I don't care how hot it is.

Wear britches. Wear sleeves. It was awful. That's one thing. I'm traumatized. Most people have yard people that do their yards and stuff. And I know they're watching them. Wait a minute.

That idiot's got like a jersey, football jersey on, long sleeve football jersey on. And long pants and a hat. Barriers. Yeah. Why is he wearing all that? It's hot as all. Get out. Now, my dad was a tough one.

They'd be out there wheat eating with shorts. so no shirt on, just taking them little pebbles and sand all up against it. He'd also weld without a shirt on, so I don't know, you know. No more messing with metal and grinders. Oh, yeah. Without ear protection. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's dangerous.

Hey, I've had eye protection. I can't remember where it was that. Something going in my air and then up my shorts. I don't know, but it happened to me fishing and I had to question everything about life. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. When you was talking about that, I remember, I'm watching some guy mow somewhere. I don't even remember what was that.

and he keeps, he's mowing around a tree. You know, and it's one of these things that are like this, coming, hanging limbs all around, and he's getting, you know, he comes in. Every day he had duck a little bit, go under it. You know, after about the third pass, okay, I'm looking, I'm saying, what is that on that limb? Uh-oh.

Yeah, and this guy is going toward it and fixed the duck again. You know, and it's about, That big around. Uh-uh. And it's purple. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Y'all, and I, then it, I'm, oh, I'm trying to tell him, hey, don't go under the limb.

He don't know what it is. Oh, no, too late. How hard you laugh. He hit, and like you're talking about, hey, the mower's going that way. Oh, yeah. He's running this way and just. Now, I will say. Wait, grabbing his short.

What was purple? Walsh, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Tell Walsh. Yeah. Now, I will say in the case of stinging insects, leave the engine running and get away. They'll go after that engine. That's one time to abandon your vehicle. Jump in nearest water you can find.

Get the heck away from that thing. No, no. I'm down on Fields property with a back hole, and I'm digging. Uh-oh. And guess what? Bambo bee. Them bad little... Oh, yellow jackets. Oh, no, the dirt got nesting the ground. Yeah, yellow jacket.

Oh, yeah, yellow jacket. I done got him and look, I just cut the nest in half, and it's about that better round. Uh-huh. You know, I hear. Open the door. I hear, buzz, buzz, whiz, buzz. Are they getting in on you? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Then open the door and exit immediately. Oh, no, no, no, it doesn't have no doors. Oh, you ain't got no cab. No, he ain't got no cab. That's for Phil had any money before the diamonds. He got a cab now. They'll buzz, buzz, buzz, and then it was paya.

Oh, whoa. I'm off of it. Let that thing run for four days until it runs out of diesel. Who cares? I told Phil, I said, hey, you're probably going to get a mechanic come out here and get this thing crank. Anybody take him and tell you to get the fuel to it. Leave it running, baby. It's going to run until it dies, buddy.

Go back at dark with a can of gas and a box of matches. Oh, no, that's the thing. I'm telling you as big as a basketball. And I cut it in half. It didn't give me but three times. Worst one I ever had, we'll go to break. They popped me three times, and hey, that's the worst. One of them stung, Phil on his toe.

He had one of them stupid things. Crocs. Crocs. He got a crock pop. Y'all, he's out there doing something, and one popped him right between the toe. Big toe and another. Crock pox. Oh.

Worst one we ever had. We had deer leased over in Jackson Parish, and we, you know, tree had done falling halfway across the road, just because that's what trees do eventually. That's right. So we out there cutting it down. cutting it up and we finally break it free and it falls and buddy I guess it fell on one or close enough to one well we don't even know nothing all of a sudden a dog

old camp dog used to live over it he come running back back we're looking like we know the tree didn't fall on you what's a problem and then about that time here come the reinforcements after us and buddy we're running left that chainsaw running set that thing And I mean, just getting tagged the whole way back So we could get to a shelter And it was misery That gum yellow jackets

And then went back down there at dark And there's like 20 of them still on the chainsaw Like, yeah, you fire up again Come on back Crang it up again Yeah Hold on before we go to break My buddy, there was a yellow jacket

I guess nest in the ground How they come up out of there He was like, I'm pushing to teach them a lesson Like what are you getting gasoline What are you going to do? He's like, no no I'm fixing this shoe shooting with my shotgun just, bah,

bye, bah, that's dumb. Yeah. So here's what happened when he started shooting. Hang out in smart crowds,

do you? Well, I'm with you, or no. Anyway, so they fly at him and sting him in his nose. Yeah.

Look, he looks like the elephant man. Oh, no. I'm telling you, he got dope popped. What is it, the supersonic?

Heck if I know. It's the same thing was, I watched the guy shoot a stupid hornet, Hornet thing up in the limb. It was 22.

Yeah. And it was just, towel! Wow! I mean, it was just pow the 20, and then pow! Just right between eyes. Stung it. Not a ricochet.

No, no, no, no, what no ricochet. That Hornet traveled the same area that that 22 rifle, bullet travel. What? Back. Didn't even run into the scope.

Hey, didn't even run into the scope. Right there between the eyes. Biao! Sonic Hornets. Why is it so fun? No, no, that's true, because I tell you what, you don't believe it? It really is. I'll be my guest inside, baby.

See what happens. No, what I was going to say, the problem with stings, if you're watching, they're one of the funniest things you'll ever say. Oh, no, no, no. But if you're in the middle of it, it is the loneliest place on planet Earth. My mother. It is just pure misery. I got to tell you this story. Okay, me and Phil's scrolling in the woods, okay.

He crosses a fence and the fence post has rotted out. Oh, yeah, we know this. In the middle. Bambos, baby. Okay, and look, Phil gets in and goes under them, y'all, and shakes them up real good. Okay. Well, I crawl through the fence, and when I do, I hear rip. I don't have told my blue jeans.

Uh-oh. So, you know, and then I hear the, you know, he takes off running out of two, okay, one popped me, okay? Well, I trip over a stupid chopper's knee and fall, and I had read it somewhere in a book. You didn't play dead, did you? Oh, yeah, yeah. I read it in the book, okay, if they're chasing you, hit the ground and don't move, and they'll fly over you. Well, what I didn't know, though, okay, is that, hey, my blue jeans had ripped, and guess what's showing white underwear? Your bumble.

Okay, so I'm telling you, hey, I can see the leader of this squadrons of bees. He's like him films that they show on Memorial Day. You know, the leader goes to everybody, this hill the targets right down here, guys. and then there's one of them so I get home okay I get up from the ground and I'm literally running

and crushing behind my butt okay my blue jeans look I get home my mother takes me in the bathroom tub and drop your drawer son and she's just

busted just dying laughing as she's taking tweezers telling you it's the funniest place ever if you He ain't the one getting ate up by. He's going to give us a number. Hey, 27 times, okay.

Ow, yeah, ow. And she's dying laughing the whole time. Ow. I'm the one going, ow, ow, ow. And she's on the floor just dying up. And she said, hey, there's one good thing come out of this. You ain't never had a butt to speak of. She said, but for about two weeks,

you're going to have the biggest butt you ever had. Well, let's take our last break. We'll be back. Johnny D., what's in that mailbag? Let's send this out on a... I got a lot of really good ones. Do you? I read them this morning.

Let's start with your best. It was hard to... I got one. I even emailed this person back just in case we can get to it. It's the best shot, boys. Hit me with your best shot. Best shot.

It needs to be answered. Taylor, she's originally from North Carolina, But now she only lives 30 minutes from the Buckees in Florida, which is how we tell time and space now here at the dot call room. How far are you from a Buckees? Yeah, we're about five and a half hours from that. So she enjoys listening to the podcast. She just really likes it.

But she would like some advice on a boy that she has known for over 15 years. She's in her mid-20s. They've known each other since elementary school, and she's liked him since the first time they met. It's a long time ago. We've gone the same church. Our families are good friends. They've gone through a lot of stuff together. But I don't know how to let him know I want our relationship to be more than just friends,

or should I just continue to wait and hope my subtle signals work? As men, how would you like a longtime friend to let you know how she feels? I don't want to compromise our friendship. I have advice for us if nobody else does. Go ahead. Men are stupid. It's my advice, Taylor. I don't disagree with that assessment.

So your subtle signals, he's not going to pick up on. Of course, I got to wonder what your subtle signals are, because at some point, don't you just call in the cavalry? Don't you just ask him if he wants to go eat a pizza and make out or something? No. Well, yeah, but I think... No, speaking to the cavalry, hey, someone needs to say, charge!

So size with me. Yeah. Sorry about your speakers going down the road. Sorry about that. But we're trying. No, I do think, you know, because she's worried it's going to get weird, right? Like if you got a friend and you're like, hey, it's time. And he's like, no, it could get weird.

Oh, that's fine. But you got to, life is short. Well, hey, you got to take that chance. If it's what you think it's supposed to be, then go find out. And once again, the worst thing he's going to say. is no. No, but thank you. And it'll be weird for a little bit,

but then it'll be back to normal before long. You're never going to drift to a certain goal. You're not going to drift there. You have to be purposeful and tell them what you want. Because he may be thinking he's dropping subtle hints too and wondering what in the world you're waiting on. And you've got to remember, he's not that smart. I agree.

Because he's a man. He's a man. He's dumb. Settle signals do not work. Especially at the age of mid-20s, He's real dumb. Been there. Real dumb.

That was 10 years ago for me. He's real dumb. But if you, you're going to have to just spell it out for him. Yeah. I think you need to call him. Say, hey, let's go, maybe not get a pizza make out. That might be too aggressive. Let's go get a bite to eat.

And you just got to say it. We've been friends for 15 years. Yeah. We obviously work well. As long as you address it. I actually wanted to go into something else. There you go. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah. Well, yeah, as long as you address it, I mean, you can make it lighthearted. You can make it very serious. I would go with it lighthearted. I'd say, you know what? We've been friends for a long time. Let's take a next step.

What do you say? No, no. I mean, you can't go wrong with just addressing it. Thank you to just lay it out there, Taylor. I agree. I agree. Taylor, go for it. That's it.

I emailed her back. I said, I'm going to try and get this answered, but go for it. Yeah. Fire away. So we're all on the same page. Take a shot. Take a shot. I love it.

All right. My next email, this one got me, the subject lines always get me. Proposal advice. Proposal advice. How do we want to do it? Zach from Virginia, they've been, he's got a girlfriend, been together a few years. It's time to propose, right? Although, we'll get there.

So he's already got a ring. That's step one. Okay. And he has an idea of how he wants to ask, and it's very duck hunting oriented. They have a dog together, and that dog retrieves the birds. So he wants the dog to come back with a band. He's going to switch it, and it's going to be a band to duck that says, will you marry it? And so there's a lot going on here.

A lot of moving part. A lot of moving part. I like it. So when she gets her duck back, the dog's going to bring it to him. him, he's going to switch the band, put the band on it, take it to her, then she's going to read, will you marry me? But that's a long way away, kind of. Only if you're legal. So what's his question? Is that a good idea?

Actually, what you should do, and these things exist everywhere. Pen raised mallards, it sounds weird. Yeah. But it's a European thing that's made its way over here. That's it. You get with that place first and give them. them the band. And then they can put it on the duck's leg.

And then the first one they turn loose for you. Bay, yeah, she gets it. They bring it back. Boom. There you go. Take out the middle man. You don't have to switch it. I just, I think we got to simplify this stuff.

That's just me. Well, there's a lot of moving parts here. And I don't like the fact of an engagement ring being in a duck line. Well, and I'm just. If you drop that thing. Yeah. I'm going to go with this, dude. I'm totally cool.

Like if you unred-red-neckify this thing. You can do the same thing. same thing with a dummy in the backyard and throw it for you, throw it for your dog to go get and bring it back. And it's already got to band on and say, take that to your mama. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then you're just in the backyard. Yeah. She might, you know, she can, she's not going to be all. And there's no guns involved if it's a no. Yeah. No guns involved. It's a no is a very good. With the guns involved, you know, you don't hear the word no. But you don't want too much focus on, on just the presentation.

I mean, you want the focus to be on, let's me and you get married and be together for the rest of our lives. How about this? Jace blew it. I don't know if y'all know this. When he proposed to Missy, he buried the ring down to a pot.

A pot of dirt. Yeah. And she was like digging and keep digging, keep digging, keep digging and keep. Finally, when she gets it, she's filthy and dirty, and she hated the proposal. But she said yes,

but she's like, now let's go wash up. But I like Martin's idea because she's going to remember this moment forever, and you can get your buddy in the woods somewhere near the field taking pictures from a distance. Yeah, that'll mean a lot to her. Yeah, I didn't do that. Well, just make sure that the ring is on where it ain't all you lost. Oh, my. I proposed it was her birthday.

We've been together two years, something like that. And I just told her, you know, we still live in a party time. I'm like separate. And I said, no, I ain't coming. Whatever. I ain't coming for your birthday, all that. No, I mean, well, we got too much going on, you know, shows going on all that. Then I just showed up at her apartment.

I did knocked on the door and I was on one knee. I said, do you want to? Wait, that's pretty good. You just knocked on the door and we're on one knee when she opened it? Uh-huh. Martin. Yeah, she was in like pajamas. Like, she comes, she was so.

I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. No, I just drove up there and said, I had nervous wrecked the whole time. Thank goodness, like find my iPhone. all that wasn't a thing then because she'd attract me the whole way she's like hey what you do I'm like no nothing we're just working did you put this in your book what book oh you hadn't let anybody know yet huh never mind oh now you got a right one yeah no I did the same we were going on a date to the outback steakhouse oh no rules just right exactly and so we were going to get some cheese fries

and I just kept playing up them cheese fries and then I rang the doorbell got on a knee and she opened it yeah and I was like I just said well you mean her first question was what? Because it just caught her off guard and then she started crying. Well, then I was like, oh, your mom is eating and dad are eating with my parents

at their house, but then there was a big party there. Yeah. It was clever. But yeah, she's got, I don't know that she's going to want to be all dirty and in the duck blind and maybe drop the ring.

I do you. I do it. I do it. I do it. I do it. Do you want to? Do you want to? You interested?

Saia, tell them about you not having a ring. Oh, no. Look. You know, we go to Justice's face. And, you know. He used a cigar rapper. No, no. And the guy in just his face says, where's the ring?

Well, they had handed me, somebody had handed me a congratulations, here's a cigar. I just pulled a cigarette, pulled a band. I said, hey, use this, I'll do it. That's a placeholder. It's a boy. Well, Zach, I hope what you're doing. I said, hey, the ring don't be anything. How long have you been married?

51 years. 51, 12, 7. 32. 32. There's no wrong way to do it. You got to be yourself. She got her ring. Oh, she got a ring.

Yeah. I was there. Oh, Christine. It took a while. I tell her, don't worry that out in public. Somebody's libel cut that finger off to get that. No, I've seen it. You think it was fake.

Well, I know. It's so big. I was slick on that. No, you weren't. You wasn't slicked on that. You was making more money and you'd spend, so. No, no, somebody slicked me on that because they told me one figure, and then when I found out really what I paid for it, yeah, I got slicked.

The queen of the 7-1-2 needs that. Queen of your triple-wide trailer. I guarantee you. All right, that's awesome. Well, Zach. Good luck, Zach. Do it. Good luck.

I vote, though. You're talking about duck season. I'd simplify it. Get it over with it. Simplify it and do it. Because I was going to wait, too, but once I got that ring, some hot potato. I got to get rid of this thing. Three days after I had that ring, I was like.

I got to put a ring. Get rid of this thing. Once I had the, yeah, I was the same way. I wasn't going to keep no ring hidden. No. I lose. Yeah, they wrote a song. by put it right on it close us out johnny d let's go on

all right romans 1 20 this was my verse for the morning and it made me that's a good chapter it made me think of sigh uh oh uh when i read it for since the creation of the world god's invisible qualities his eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen he knows it have been clearly seeing being understood from what has been made so that people are without excuse so when you look around it's pretty evident all this didn't just pop up and swam amen it's too perfect it's too perfect god made it god made you we love you we want you to believe with us amen we'll see y'all next time it is good one johnny dine