Duck Call Room - John Crist Survives Willie Robertson’s Most Offensive Questions

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

John Crist joins Willie Robertson and Uncle Si for what turns into a roast of John’s Mennonite background, homeschool education, and large family. The guys swap their most awkward fan encounter stories, and John gets Willie to admit to a few intrusive thoughts he didn’t even realize he had. John shares the biggest comedy fail of his career, Si discovers he may be in possession of Willie Nelson’s autograph, and Willie confesses to a Topgolf prank that caused chaos in real time. Duck Call Room episode #558 is sponsored by: https://trybeef.com/duck — Get 10% off your first TriTails box straight from their ranch to your door. https://myphdweightloss.com — Find out how Godwin is losing weight! Visit the website or call 864-644-1900 and mention "Godwin" to get 2 weeks free in the program! Get bugs out of your house with Pestie. Go to https://pestie.com/DUCK for 10% off your order. https://fastgrowingtrees.com/duck — Get 20% their first purchase when using the code DUCK at checkout. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spotify, it's Jay Shetty. Are you one of those media strategy people? Scrolling through spreadsheets, searching for an audience that pays twice as much attention to your ads than they do on social? Let me introduce you to fans. And they're here with me on Spotify. Trust me, I know fans. They don't skip. They stay for hours.

They don't move on. They manifest. They're not a demographic group. They're fans. Spotify advertising. You're among fans. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if?

Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. I think I can handle this.

Who normally does this? Martin? I think I'm good. Johnny D. I hired both of them, so. So, hey guys, welcome back to the Duck Call Room podcast. I'm your guest, fill in host. My name is Willie Robertson.

I have, I'm filling in for, I guess I'm filling in for Martin. And, because I'm in his chair. And we've got, as always, oh, Phil McMillions. What's happening, fellas? An old friend and foe. That's right. Our foe friend. Hey, you were in my wedding, weren't you?

Yes. There you go. That's how far we go back. That was 34 years ago. That's been a while. It's been a minute. Speaking of old stuff, we got Uncle Si. The homeless guy.

We got Uncle Si and the cleanup hole. I'm not going to give me a cheeseburger is all it is. Cleaned up. Okay. We'll talk. We ended up doing a podcast. Okay. We'll put some words up so you can understand what he said.

Put some high opinions on that cheeseburgers this time. All right. Good deal. Size is on one today. And today we have a special. A special, special guest. This guy, this is a big deal here. This is a big deal.

You know when I come into the duckar room, something that's happening, you know, something either has went way wrong or way right. Today is a way right. This is a worldwide funny man from Nashville. I guess he's not from Nashville, but nobody's from Nashville. He got to Nashville. Liz in Nashville. This is John Chris.

But actually, I think you've done this podcast more than I've done this podcast. Yeah, that's my third time on. What's up, John? How are you, buddy? Do you think everybody, when they tune in, are they relieved? The Martin and J.D. aren't here? Some are. Or are they like, I don't know this audience.

I'm not sure. I'm not. I'm not sure. What do you? I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, everybody. Hey, they only listen to this podcast when they're down and they're lifting up, and they're to laugh a little bit, have a little fun. Is that true?

And they listen to my podcast. Oh, there you got. You just call it my podcast? Yeah. Okay. Wow. That's this one. Yeah, he just said it's my podcast.

I am the boy. This is the duck call room. Hey, wait me. You're hosting. This is a big deal. I felt like I took over. You're not going to guess, by the way. Speaking of CEO, where are they?

We're like, what's going on here? Yeah, where are they? This medical or? I don't know. Vacation. Nobody knows. Who's their boss? Really, you're the boss.

I'm just saying, like, you sign the paycheck. Somebody, you know, come to work. So kids these days, nobody wants to work. You know where they are, sir? No, I don't know where they are. I don't even know who they are. I just got a Texas that show up. I think they're hunting.

They ain't hunting. They ain't hunting. I know they ain't hunting. I thought Hunter was the main man. Who knows? It's complicated. It's okay. John David's at a concert and I forgot where Martin is.

A concert. Oh, you were talking about, oh, you was talking about you. A concert. Oh, the last man. That is Wednesday. Must be a church concert. We're there at a concert. This absence is not excused.

I don't think this is an excused absence. What is your podcast? What's the name of it? My podcast is called Net Positive. Net Positive. That's what I'm talking. Which is what we're trying to do in this. That's what I wanted to segue.

If you can't be positive, keep your mouth shut. Okay. We're not net positive, but we're, we'll find the positive. We're going to find the positive. Yeah, it's great. I'm old positive, baby. Oh, here we go. That's a great joke.

All right. I'm all the way positive. Hunter, you got to clip that. Oh, speed ahead. So what did you do today? You did Sadie's podcast? Came down and did Sadie's pod? I was, how'd that go?

Unbelievable. Anybody cry? Uh, okay. Why? Yeah, how they cried? And then, yeah, yeah, it's heavy, light, kind of, uh, we had some, the eyes watered. Really? Didn't go full cry.

Oh, wow. Yeah, but we, they, who was on? I think it's mandatory. Yeah. Who was on the? It was just her and Christian. Oh, really? And then she did an episode of my podcast.

Well, good. So you did that? And then y'all did your podcast here? Yeah, we did an episode of my podcast. So we just did two with Sadie back to back. Oh, wow. Yeah, got to the, got down to the real. Does the conversation change when it's your podcast versus her podcast?

Yeah, I feel like I'm a little bit more looser with the jokes. She's driving the other. Yeah. Okay. I was like lob in some jokes. Because my, well, I said my, she goes into what she say. She goes, well, you know, I really look to the example of, David and start I go well you got to tell everybody that's a from the Bible

I go we I knew what you're talking about but all my crowd doesn't wouldn't first default how far have you went into the mainstream now you're you have I mean like you have really gone mainstream I knew what I'm saying is I is this Jesus we're talking about what I don't understand this this is he goes well obviously the life of David and I go well Dave you got to tell him who's David yeah who's David I know for there is kind of a church language that people have. Yeah, what would be the top five or six words of, of duck call glossary that if you said some of the terms of duck of duck hunting,

I wouldn't know what they were. Um, you got them probably, I don't know, I'd say probably most of them. You don't look like a duck hunter. Have you ever duck hunting? Look, Carhart. Oh my. He just flash a Carhart. Amazon brought it this morning to it. That's your ticket. That's your golden ticket. Look, this is a look. You literally just cut the tag off that thing. I bought this at Zara. Were you laying out like what to wear? Wait, hang on, did you wear that for that, those pockets?

Yeah. Oh, you did this. I was like, I thought you switched. I thought you put the car heart on just for that. He's got some poncho on. Yeah, I should have. I was like, who's going to, how am I going to fit in? Two of us have on poncho.

Yeah. You're rocking the car heart because you thought it. I'm going to fit in with that. Manly Hunter. Yeah, it's not going to wear up. Oh, always give a shot for the. Side, did you think he was a hunter? Do I look like a hunter?

I would never think he's a husband. Why would you, why were you judging? I tell you, he's got the Nashville look. Because of my hair? It's the hair. Oh, yeah. You used to look a little bit like that when you were younger. Yeah, in the military, your hair.

Yeah, I'll play with the wall socket a lot. That's what I'm going. So have you ever hunted at all? I went on a safari. Oh, wait. Where? In Africa. Oh, my goodness.

I went all the way out there. I didn't kill anything, though. I know, but yeah. What all did you see? Okay, don't say it like that. I'm just, No, no, what all did you see? You went just to look.

You just saw some animals. I looked, I saw it. Yeah. I didn't shoot any of them. Yeah, I had too much moisturizer on my hands. Are you against hunting? Are you just like?

No, I'm not. I just never done it. You just never got in. I had a BB gun when I was. I was a kid shot squirrel. That's not a wet way. Oh, speaking about that,

that's in the news in Oregon. Oh, here we're trying, no, they're trying to get rid of hunting, ranching. Here we go. Somebody's been watching Fox News.

Oh, yeah. It's been on the news. I did see that. I did see that. Trying to get rid of hunting? They put it. Yeah.

And they have, they have enough signatures to, to, I guess a vote. And they're going to vote whether or not they outlaw hunting, fishing. Yeah, fishing and ranching.

in the whole state. Well, like, I think it's any killing of animals in any way, even cattle, all of it. Yeah. Gone. I think there's some kind of a, uh, conspiracy going on around.

Is that what it took for you to realize that something's going on? No, no. Just that story in Oregon, that's when you're like, I think it's some kind of, no, no, I think it's some kind of illness going on. Okay. So, yeah, probably none of the lingo

well like run me through a couple I mean I don't know how basic like I can tell you here's what you need to know nobody moves until Phil says cut them because when I went Phil or Jace

when I went well yeah Phil or Jace because when I went duck hunting for the first time ever it was the last time and I got barred for life you didn't do it right I didn't do it I didn't wait till Phil said cut them and they never I never could go back and even so I couldn't get me in

Because you're a feel as well. Yeah. Yeah. Right. What are you? You're cutting up. So it sounded like you were talking about yourself. Nobody moved to Phil said, nobody.

Okay. Yeah. You know, Phil. Rob. But my advice is you, don't get involved in it. Don't start. It's an addiction. I won't be able to stop.

Yeah. It'll get it in your blood. And cut them is what? You're cutting the dogs loose to go chase them down or something? That's why. That's the deal. That's when you shoot them. Oh, cut them.

Cut them. Cut them. Because you hear this a lot of, hit them lick. Hit him a lick. What that means? Hang on. Let's play a game. All right.

Hit him a lick. What does that mean? It would be like a lick. Like I never ever getting like spanked growing up like two licks. Hit him a lick means hit them to don't kill them. Don't kill them? No, don't kill them. Just hit them so you slow them down.

Nope. Like hit them with what? Like one lick. Only hit them once. The gun? Like hit them with like. If somebody said, hey, hit him a lick. I like it.

It's going pretty good. Slap. I would say slap the dog. slap the duck yeah okay the answer is slap the duck gar hit him a lick with me what's that mean ducks have come over they've come over okay and you want to call if whoever saw them said hey hit him a lick I mean say they give them a hell call they've come over what the ridge

or something the mountain oh they just come over your side yeah you're sitting Oh, okay. You're sitting over water. They fly by and somebody says, hit them or hit them a leg. And that means give them a little call. Give them a little. See if they're going to turn.

Make that turn. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedale's beef

makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sal Robertson, would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from, but with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas.

They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference.

The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She doesn't eat meat. Yeah. Just go to Tribes. beef.com slash that's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.

Now once they turn around and come back, you might say, hey, get a little softer. Okay. Okay. Okay. Another trivia question. Okay. Do you call at duck's faces or their butts?

That's a good one. Caller is the thing, right? Yeah, that's a good question. That's a good question. Okay, so I bet when they're going away, you got to call them back. So you would say, you would say, but calling at the butt. There you go. That's a good analogy.

Let's go. Never call when they're coming towards them. And why is there, because there's always like duck call competitions. So if you all five of y'all go out, is there one caller? Who's running the calling? There's a person in the yard. There's always a person in. char.

Running point. Somebody's running point guard. I've got to run point. And so it's according to whether or not you're good at calling, but there's other ducks sounds as well. Not John David. No, John David wouldn't be. Like me.

There's other, there's other ducks. So there's other ducks. Yeah. They don't let me blow a milder call. They don't let you do it. But he can. He's really good.

He's good. They don't let me, but they do let me go a gadwall. All right. So gadwall. Okay. That's a different type duck. Hold on, Zah.

I was going to say, well, that sounds like something from like, when you all gather around, like somebody from Lord of the Rings to say we're starting the hunt. And they say, Gadwal.

Oh, the Godwold. Godwold. Godwold. Did I get it? No. Let's see how many ducks. Let's see how many ducks he can name. Okay.

Okay. We've given you one. Gadwall. Oh, that's the kind of duck? Mallard. Mallard. Mallard? Redtail.

What? Hold on, he's on a roll So I just let him go. Red tail. All right. Red tail. I would say feathered.

Feathered. Good. Very good. Smothered. Webbed feet. Okay. I feel like now you're just going to. Your name is the lot of parts.

Okay. That's just their parts. Oh, there's some of the nice ones are mallard. Those are the good ones. Those are the rich. Those are called green heads. Okay.

And some of them, Drake. Some of them you don't want them, right? You go, now we'll split it. Yeah, the Drake has a green head. Okay. The hen is what color? Red.

Nope. Perfect. You got to think about it. Think about it. Think about, mom, mom and dad. Yeah. Wait a bit. This has nothing.

Wait a minute. This is the mind. That has something to do with the color. I got to take this car hard off, I think. You don't qualify anymore. But it's like, it's kind of like fishing where you have the fit and then you're like, that's the right color bait to get it. Because you're saying they're flying over and you do it and it's not authentic.

If you went fishing before. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On a cruise. You don't say, of course. Like, I mean, like, I don't feel like you're, of course. Well, it was on a. Of course, I've got a car heart shirt on.

It was on a carnival cruise on an excurs. Could you name more fish? Hey, he fished on a carnival cruise. Yeah. I like it. They took us out right to the spot. You feel like you can name more fish than. Oh, yeah, bass trout.

Fast trout. Crop. Crappy. He has his fish. I was up at Luke Bryan's house. They got a bunch of those. I wasn't at his house, but I was on his river.

I was down river. I was downriver. I don't want to get, I don't get fact checked on that. I feel like you could name probably more country music singers than you could. Oh, you got plenty of that.

I feel like, yeah, plenty of that. You what could you do? How many ducks are there? A bunch. Five? There's a bunch. Oh, a bunch.

There's a bunch. There's a bunch. There's a bunch. And you know all. Green wing, teal, blue wing, teal. cinnamon teal, wood ducks, whistle ducks, Mexican whistle ducks. You know them from, Ider, shoulders. There's ducks that we don't have here.

Red, red hairs, canvas bag. Where are they at? The coots. The old coot. So what's a, if you come home with one, there's no way you got that one. They're hooded. What is that?

Around these parts, I figure if we got a canvas back. Man, that's pretty rare for us. They come through here, but they normally stay long to see. But other places, like have them on the right, right. What is this right here? That's the blue wing tail. Because they got a blue wing. That's what I was doing.

I was describing the cut. I felt like, I felt like you did good. All right. Now look. So what have you been doing? Are you on the road? Are you doing? Yeah, I'm on the road.

Let's see. We're going this weekend to Florence, Alabama. Oh, man. I've got a funny Florence Alabama store. I don't want to brag. I tell you my Florence Alabama. Yeah, hit me. Okay.

So I was in Florence, Alabama, and I was speaking for a thing, and I realized I don't have any underwear. And I'm, and Tebow was speaking as well, and I thought Tebow would probably just go with no underwear. But I thought, I've got to have underwear. Yeah, yeah, it needs to. I'm on a stage, you know, I can't. So. Sorry. So I go to Walmart.

I go to Walmart in Florence, Alabama, and I'm standing there in the underwear section. This is like last year. And this old boy looks at me. And he goes, yep, yep, you look just like him. That's all he said, but he didn't say who. Yeah. I said, do you think so? He said, oh, yeah.

And he said, matter of fact, hey, do you mind if I take a picture of you? My son is never going to believe that I met somebody who looked just like Willie Roberts. And I took a picture with him. And he never even asked. He just walked out looking at the pictures and said, he's going to love this. And I've always wondered if he ever found out. He was Willie.

Yeah, that's him. That was him. Why would Willie Robertson be in Walmart and Florence, Alabama, on underwear? Yeah, there's no way. I wouldn't believe it either. But I was. He never gave it up.

Somebody said, people say to me that Trey Kennedy is a comedian that I look similar to. And somebody goes, oh, dude, you're my brother's favorite or my wife's favorite. or my wife's favorite. Can you take a photo? Can you take a video? Yeah. And they go, and they love that middle school bit, which is his bit.

Oh. And I just go. You wear it? I just go, thanks. Yeah, I did. I never correct them. I just, yeah. I get every, I get, I've gotten so many different people,

and I wear every one of them. You look like Uncle Sy? Do they ever say that? No, who would you, who would you think that people, who would you think that people think I am? Oh, man, you probably like a damn Bill Zarian or something like that. No. Who?

You know, I used to get it a lot. Who? Zach Brown. Oh, I see that. Zach Brown. But that was a while back. But I've gotten a lot. Oh, yeah, you look like Zach Brown.

Yeah. I've gotten people who are like, you used to look like a singer. Love your music. And I'm like, thank you so much. When you had your, uh, mullet. Oh, yeah. Who?

You're a singer, country singer. Just not, not specific, just a general country singer. Well, no, all this. Everybody knows he. Oh, oh, you're, oh, we're playing a game again. you look like country singer well no no you do because you're all what you're talking about well who have you been mistaken for

when you had the mullet you was mistaken you look enough to like him to be there is one person I do look like but way about like yeah I was 30 years I mean when you were in high school well this is a no day I used to get this a lot I know he's talking about yeah who but he's from Kentucky he has a very very famous daughter oh billy ray cyrus yeah oh hell my heart yeah well he was young he had the bullet he they could have been twins oh yeah in fact i was in where is he from um eastern kentucky

and i was i was there and someone said you have to go to applebees because billy ray goes here and they're gonna they're gonna think it's him if you if you show up so oh yeah and when i'm in nashvash for Actually, I was just in Nashville. Oh, I just saw you in Nashville. Oh, I just saw you in Nashville. Yeah. And I went to the, uh, I went to the coffee shop. And the guy said, are you with a band?

So every time I'm in Nashville, you think I'm a singer. You fit right in down there. And so, and the guy telling me this has on like a very strange hat, beard, piercings everywhere. And so, and I said, no, you, you, you, I'm not in a band, but I get that a lot. I said, however, it's just like, I think that everybody that looks, like you that works in a coffee shop is in a band. And he goes, I am in a band.

Like, they're all working at a copy shop. They're working at some other job. Yeah. You're not a band. Yeah. Until it works out. They say Si looks like maybe Willie Nelson. Si, who have you got?

Who's your doggy? Is it Willie Nelson? Yeah. Speaking of that, look, I'm in church. Okay. And a guy walks in with a guitar case. Yeah. It comes up and says,

Oh, Si. I'm talking about it. He said, I was told to give us to you. Out of the blue? Just out of the blue. And he said something about La Blue. He said, yo, well, the Blue is somebody. Well, I just said, well, let me grab it and go put it in the car.

I didn't even look at it. Yeah. So I get it home and open it up and it's a dobro. Okay. And I look and I see, all I see when I first look is I see Willie. On the guitar. Willie's pulling a darn prank. Oh, you thought it was me.

No, I said, Willie's pulling a darn prank. Then I looked over and looked at it more. Then I can see the other name. Yeah. And it's Willie Nelson. Yeah, there you go. So Willie Nelson signed this dobro and somebody named LeBlu

said, hey, go give you to Uncle Si. I've got it at the house. I've got a dobro that's got Willie Nelson's signature on. A secondhand passed through Willie Nelson, an autograph. Possibly. Possibly. Oh, no, it's his, it's his. Well, how do you know?

And how do they know you're at church? Hey, I've seen his signature before. Can't argue with that. Look at me. You think at 63 you can't lose weight? You can lose weight. I got on this PhD weight loss. I don't have to take my sugar meds anymore.

And my sugar's staying steady. My stomach's flatter. Way flattered. No joint pain. My knees don't hurt, jump out of the truck, run around on the boat. And let me tell you, I am full of energy. I'm telling you, this Ph.D. Diet Plan is way different than any other plan. You get a coach to talk to you that cheers you on. All your successes are just way positive. And they want you to eat all the time, which right down my alley. Most weight loss plans have one thing in common. they quit working eventually, and when that happens, usually, the weight comes right back.

But Ph.D. weight loss is different. I'm 16 weeks into the Ph.D. Weight Loss program and down 32 pounds. What worked for you before? Doesn't always work because your body fights weight loss every step of the way. When it's under stress, GLP1 drugs can work as a quick fix, but they don't always take care of what's causing a problem in the first place. The Ph.D. Weight Loss works with you, to develop a plan that works with your body and focuses on restoring your metabolism for good. So your body stops fighting you. The goal isn't to lose weight once.

It's to never have to start over again. Right now, call Ph.D. Weight Loss and mention Godwin. You'll get two weeks free in the program, and they'll pay for your food. That's a $1,500 value completely free. Call 864-644-1900 and then. and say, Godwin, again, that's 864, 64-644-1900, or visit my Ph.D. Weightloss.com. But, no, there's a lot of people I wanted to meet when I was out with my band

that I didn't get to meet. Dolly Park was one of them. Never met dolly. I didn't get to meet her. Yeah, but I met. Who did you, man? Who's the coolest person you ever met? Me?

I got you on that buddy I forgot it was your podcast so we so we were in Springfield Missouri and we for Saia we were going to see his dentist and we pulled into Landry's okay and we were starving so we get there we walk right in

and it's this place the restaurant where they fell roll the home of the throat yeah so we go in and it's Lamberts Lamberts what I said that's what threw me He said Landry.

I was like, Lamberts. Lamberts. So we get there and we are walking into the table and this group stops I and they said, has anybody ever told you you look like Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty? He said, ma'am, every day of my life. And he walked off and went and sat down and they followed him. And once he took the first picture,

there were 200 people gathered around just buzzing. I was like, he had barely got to eat. eat anything. But, I mean, as soon as they found out, it was I was just, it just went crazy. Well, you would think that they, you're like that, like the Walmart underwear, so you're like, actually Landry's would be the place he's single. Lambert. Lambert, I'm sorry. Why would he be, I go, that's exactly where I think Willie would be. That's exactly, where do you think that y'all are in Hollywood? Yeah. That's what they, they should be among the people. You think I'd be in Walmart, mine underwear in Florence, Alabama? I'd be sad. That is unusual. I mean,

There would be a, yeah. I mean, because that's out of, like the Walmart and West Monroe. Sure, yeah. Yeah. Not the Walmart in Florence. Like, who would go there just about underwear? We were in Phoenix when they had the fires, and Sa was doing a fundraiser for, you know, all these guys.

Yep. And so he's up on stage, and it was really late at night. He's like the last one to go up. And so him and his band go up. But it ain't his band. It's a band that's already there. So they start playing. And they must have, they must have.

Oh, no. Well, they had opened. When I walked in, they had opened a brand new bottle of Jack Daniels. Yep. Okay, and they had opened the second one. They had already down that first one. Oh, wow. So when he finally goes up, they started playing,

and they're like playing way too fast, and he was like, hold on, slow on. Slow on. Slow, boy, slow. But they ain't slewed. Stay still, just. Going for it. So then he calls me,

Philip, get up here and help me sing this song. from the audience. I'm like, and he was like, get up here and help me. Get up there. Nobody, everybody was so drunk, it didn't matter anyway.

Is that what knocked you out of, I could squeeze the frog and made him, uh, uh, does that what knocked you out of headlining was the, they were always so late because you were the last, you know, the headlines,

the last. No show Jones. Is it just too late? Well, what happened? I happened. That happened a lot. Right.

I mean, you had a standing room only place there at a, oh, warehouse in the middle of a page of Texas. And everybody, everybody had a... I was saying, why didn't you, like... They had a blast. Right.

And I did too. You do a reunion tour? Why didn't you keep... Why did you stop? Like, you had everybody going? I didn't stop. Oh, you're still going. Oh, why?

We played for like four. Oh, crap. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were still in the game. Come on. I was just telling you the beginning of it was, you know, kind of... Like, do you need any music for what you need? We get an opening.

Is it just you? Is it? I got two other buddies, but we'll kick one of them out. So there before it, but there's no music acts? No. I like that I got two buddies, but we'll kick one of them. I get Halifacea. Featuring Uncle Si?

It's a great idea. How long? I want to ask him if you, you know, he's a visitor. So how long is your show? Like, how long do you go? It'd be like a hundred minutes. I do about 60 of them. Let me do the math.

So it's a hundred minutes total. You're 60. You're an hour. You're in a hour. 50 minutes. It's like a pod. Yeah. Probably only any given that an hour.

You do all new material. Every show? No, for the year. I do. You just mix and match old stuff. Like if you come to all three shows this weekend, it'll be probably 95%. You write your own material? Yep.

No, I meant as opposed to like last year or three years ago. Every time we come to a city, it's all new. Because yeah, you're hitting. So we won't go. We'll go to. you know, 100 markets or something, but we don't go to back to we don't come back to Florence until the show's

100% new. Okay. So we just make sure if you ever come to. Three shows in Florence? No, no, one in Florence, one in Mobile, one in Atlanta. Yeah. I'm big in Florence. Three shows in Florence would be crazy.

That's what I thought. Wow. And look, I love your show. It's hilarious. It's so funny. I mean, anybody that hadn't said, you got to go and watch. It's awesome.

So because I've been watching your material, I was driving the work the other day, and there was a student driver beside me and I was like thinking like John I was like what if I get beside him and rev the engine

and try to challenge them to a race and I was like stuff just might off into your head you know intrusive thoughts intrusive thoughts

yeah you see that you see that cyclist I would say you ever been driving see that cyclist you know I wonder if I just like

yeah just scare him a little bit yeah never thought that yeah I have. You know what I did? I'm telling them.

Serial killers? It's just a joke. The worst. It's just rough. It's what happens. Yeah. I was wondered if you like, just those thoughts come into your head and you go,

and you don't do anything with them. It's just like, but you ever been sitting in the airplane? You go, I want to pull this emergency exit. What's the? I have thought about that. Yeah.

What's the worst night you've ever had? In comedy? Yeah. No, no. I'm saying, well, you know, you go in there, come in and you start, and like, people are just proud. All the time. People are not there. They're not into it.

I'll tell you one time. So early on, now I've seen everything, right? People have passed out in the show of medical emergencies. Like, the power goes out. I've seen it all at the beginning. I was talking to everybody. This is at the Denver Improv probably in 2012, 13, talking to everybody in the front. talking to everybody in the front.

You know, if I say, what's going on? You just come off to set of Duck Dynasty, or I'll make a joke about that. I go, look at this guy. It looks like he just came from whatever. Kind of talking to everybody. So there's two girls sitting right here, and the one girl's looking like off, like off this way.

And I go, hey, if I'm going to talk, you're next, right? If I'm talking to you, you better look me in the eye when I'm talking to you. And her friend goes, she's blind. Oh. Dead serious. Wow. And I go. And I was very young.

as a comic. I go, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, like, offend you. Like, I'm a Christian. I didn't mean to, like, I feel like God was like at the time. You know what about to say? You know about just tall. Yeah. Oh, I felt horrible. And then so I kind of backed out of the said. I said, thanks everybody. I was doing 10 minutes. Nobody cheered. It was the energy came out. It was horrible. Okay. So Tim Hawkins, who was a friend of mine, is that kind of a mentor, just like Foxworthy and Cable guy. I told him this story. I go, I felt so bad. I offended this girl. He told me. He goes, you can never back out.

If you're comic and you go in, the only way out is keep, if you go that you only way out, so I go, what would you have said? And he goes, easy. Be like, you're blind and you're sitting in the front row of a sold out comedy show. It's kind of a selfish move. And she would have died laughing. You should give her, you should give her a thing to something about hell. Yeah, she would have died laughing at that because she came back to the girl. I felt so bad.

I invited her back to the green. room after the show because I wanted to apologize to her. She couldn't find it. Hey, you got to keep your on call. That's what we're talking about, the intrusive thoughts. You can't do it, dude. No, but she came back to the green room and she goes, I come here to this comedy club every week.

I love sitting up front and putting the comics in uncomfortable positions, meaning like, I like, I'm part. Oh, she's got her all thing. Yeah, she was like, and I go, the worst thing you can do with someone with a disability like that is to like go after everyone else and then tiptoe around them. No, you got to go and everybody else would be like, I can't believe you said that. But she, if I would have said that line, she would have been dying. Oh, yeah. She would have been dying.

Boy and I just had this conversation. We were just together. Me and you were actually, we were out there with the fans at the Caleb. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were ahead of me. I was mine. And so, and by the way, I was soaking wet. Oh, it was hot out there.

So we had this conversation because I told Corey a couple of the things I said out there. She was like, you can't say that. And I said, I think you have to because I think it's the same. So one was this something I've always wanted to do. So I don't know how many airplanes were they, you know, there's a lot of wheelchairs. And so they're wheelchair and people. Sorry, you're on. And so I'm like, oh, and you're, they get to go first.

But then when they, then they just jump up and walk. And so I've always wanted to do. scream, it's a miracle. But I haven't. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't done it. I bite my tongue up because then I'm like getting on the plane with them and so I don't want them to be, you know, I don't want it like, you know, it's pain in me, you know, in my seat. So I go and so we were doing that and there was a lady in a chair. She was in a wheelchair and they're like, hey, she's, you know, she's whatever. And I'm like, hey, and I'm trying to say hello. And she just pops up. Oh, and then she's like going to come to me. And I said, it's America.

I finally got the line. And everybody just died laughing. And Corey's like, you did not say this. Corey and Sadie would be like, you cannot. Yeah, but I was like, I've always wanted to do it. Because she was like, she was on the front. But when I came up, she's like, oh, I'm getting this picture. And she gets up and like, you know, jockey in the end, getting the cell.

She overcame it. They call it on the flight attendants. And people in the airline industry call it Jetway Jesus. That's a term. Really? It's a real turn for people that are cheating the wheelchair to get up in the front. And then as soon as the plane dboards, they're all gone. The warmer weather's here, the rain's here, and the bugs want to be here, which is frustrating, but if you got a pesty...

The bugs have spawned with all of this rain. But that's why we love Pestey because it is do-it-yourself pest control. When the pests come, get rid of them yourself with Pesty. Pestey gets rid of over 100 different types of bugs from ants and spiders to roaches and even scorpions. You hear that rucker? They send everything you need, a sprayer mixing bag,

pro-grade pesticide gloves, as Johnny D's putting on, instructions, and you can knock it out in less than 10 minutes instead of paying a pest control company hundreds of dollars. Pesties starts at just $35 per treatment and it's customized to where you live and your climate.

Plus, it's all kid and pet friendly with Pesties 100% bug-free guarantee or your money back. That's a good deal. If it doesn't take care of the problem, Martin, you get a full refund. You get this wand and a bag and you just go scorched earth on all the bugs around your house. There you go. And it worked for me.

We had an ant problem. Ants be gone. Ants all gone. That's what you need. That's what you get with Pesty. Get bugs out of your house with Pesty. Go to pesty.com slash for an extra 10% off your order. That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash for an extra 10% off.

I had that happened to me on a flight to Taiwan. There was an older man. You're going there to hunt? No, I was going to film. We were filming a TV show about our optics that were made over there. So this guy, there's like a medical emergency. And they said, this guy's having trouble. And we're like, oh, no, like this is going to be a long flyer for, you know, something bad to happen.

So they cleared the back row, like they move people's seats. And he just lays down and. sleeps like the whole trip i was like i hope he doesn't pass away when that flight landed that little sucker jumped up no and was moving people out of the way to go out go out and i'm looking at him going are you kidding he just slept that is crazy yeah and he hit the wall he hit some giant american dude who just said uh-uh no no no we're not doing it's not yeah and i thought that little sucker He did the whole, oh, my heart, you know. I just need to lay down and that sucker lay down.

There has to be an in-between of like, you know, you run your own business. You kind of have a little, and this guy doesn't care at all. He'll say whatever comes to his mind at any time. There has to be an in-between is what I'm saying. Yeah. There's an in-between Sadie and Sy. There has to be an in-between ground. Yeah, there.

Is there? I would tell you. Prip and fall over it. He gets to say, well, I look up to him because he can say whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He's an old man. He can do whatever. He can get away. And he's the one that.

I get away with it. John, he's the one that uses the wheelchair, and I'll push him. And Willie, we did see you at one airport when he jumped up and you yelled. It's a miracle. Oh, yeah, I did do. And we busted out. I did it out. Yeah, you tried it out on, Sae.

Hey, by the way, I did do the wheelchair one time. I've done it once. I just wanted, like I wasn't. injured. But I just thought... Oh, I haven't done that. No. No, I just wanted to see what it was like. And so I get off a flight and they're like, they might need a wheelchair. And so the girl is at the Houston airport and she pushes me forever, you know, and she's like, and I was like, I'm going to give her a monster to. She's like, she's going to be glad she's in this guy. But here's what's weird. As we were going and I'm in the wheelchair, I literally started feeling

like I was hurt. Like I felt injured. Like, mom, I really did. I thought, yeah, guilty. I did. I felt like I was, I felt like I got into, like, when I got up, I was like kind of bracing myself, like something had happened. Somebody rolled this wheelchair over my foot so I can walk out with a limb. Okay, so here's the other thing that happened in that line.

You may have gotten one that you may have gotten as well. So there's a, there's a lady and she's like, and she's got something in her hand. Oh, no. And I said, what is this is a Chick-fil-A gift card? Yeah. you know and it's someone who had passed away it was like uh uh so what do you say oh wow what do you like there's hundreds of people i just made a joke it was a photo of someone that's passed you had to sign it no they just wanted me to have it yeah they just wanted me to have it so uh john

do you make a joke or do you get serious i would be like uh i would make it well there's a bunch of other people around that want you to make a joke about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's packed. They go, I made a joke. You did? I did. What did you say? I just said, whoa, this got weird. Oh, yeah, yeah. And everybody kind of like, you know, but I was like, I mean, you threw, I mean, I just, I just ate at Chick-fil-A and so that was on my mind. Yeah. And do be fair, if, was it, her husband or something? If he's a fan of you, he got a good sense of humor. Well, that's what, you would have liked that. That's what pushes me to, to say funny, stuff because that's what they're expected, especially in this awful situations, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have, but like, so me versus Sadie, for example, you come to me, you're thinking I'm going to, your reputation kind of goes before, they think Sadie's going to, if Sadie made a joke, you'd be like, so offensive. Because you're like, oh, we thought we were going to cry and pray or be, but you're like, oh, if Si makes a joke, you're like, if he was serious, it would be confusing. You'd be like, what? Do you, do you, do you, do you, Do you feel like that's pressure when everybody's expecting you to... Now, the problem is... I'm saying when everybody's speaking you'd be funny.

Are you ever just like, you didn't say anything? They're like, yeah, this guy's a dud. Well, that's what we never take a... Everybody's like, come say a few words or speak at my wedding or say, I go... Say something funny. Yeah, your reputation's on the line every time. That's why we never want to do it. Yeah.

We never want to... You avoid those situations. All the time. I don't want to say anything. Ever. I don't think I ever want to say anything. Do you just say no? And do you just dud out?

I'm happy to be here. I come to your wedding. I don't want to say anything. Unless it's like my family or something. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. Yeah, well, like, you know, if a guy invites me out to, you know, play golf or something, hey, come, if we're in Florence, this guy goes, I remember it. I go, I'm not doing that.

You're like, why not? It's a nice golf course. I got to do four and a half hours. Yeah. With this guy. Right. Be it, hey, do the thing. Right.

And you go, I'm good on that. You got to be able to turn it. off some. Yeah. I play golf in Nashville with a comedian. I won't say who it is. There's only three of us. The initials are NB.

We'll take your word for it. I got it. So, and the phone, we got the first T-Vox. I said, are you going to be funny today? Oh,

yeah. He probably said, oh, no. He just rolled. Yeah, he goes, he's going to shoot some ducks out of there. Yeah, I think we're clocked out.

Yeah, one time a girl came, it was either, what was it? Like stories like that, some girl, I was either saw, I must have been on Instagram. She goes, hey, I love to, I don't know, like meet you or like it's my dream to meet you. Or like, you've always been an encouragement to me through like hard times or something. I don't know, something like that. And she had a shaved head. So I was like, connect her with. my, so we can do like a meat and green.

You assume. Yeah. And then she just said, she like worked at a coffee shop and like, and I go, get out. Dude, get out of this green. I was like, that's like using the wheelchair. I was like, oh, I think you framed this message. Yeah. In a way that made me feel like you had a diagnosis of some sort.

Yeah, I had that happen one time. This guy came in and was like, couldn't you please meet my son? He's like, he's a military. Like, the whole thing, you know, and I said, yeah, bring it. And I'm working. And I'm working. And I'm, you know. And I'm looking below the knob of the door when he came in.

There's like 38 years old. And he was in the Army like 20 years ago. I'm like, you totally oversaw. Like, I think he was like, little scooters coming in. He's like, hey, Willie. How you doing, man? Yeah. I was like, oh, you're in the military.

He's like, oh, yeah, I was. Four hundred pounds. I was back in the day. I'm like, the guy told me this whole story. He was in the military. You're like, all right, yeah, well,

yeah, he was probably in the office. He looks, sound like he worked in the office. We probably have all heard it off. Okay, so what made, what do you think made you funny?

Like you're from your background or growing up? Oh, well, I'm one of eight kids. That's funny. So they're, yeah, and my dad was a preacher.

Oh, yeah, that's funny. They also, and my parents are, uh, Mennonite. No,

they're not. Yeah, my parents are at Mennonite college. Yeah, they are. Not Amish. Not Amish. Mennononite.

which is like, is that the, no, that's the homage. No, no, but the Minnanites go, they have the beard too, don't they? Once they get married. Right. Yeah, right. There's a thing.

Yeah, yeah, if you have the beard once you get married. I always get confused. That's why I never, ever mention any Minonites marital status because I can't remember the parents. After everything we've heard today, this is where you draw the line. This is where you draw the line. Hey, guys, let's be serious about the Amish marital status. I was making fun of all.

Wait, hang on. Are you still Minenite? No, my parents broke away from the Mennonite. They met at Mennonite College. I mean, if you are, that's okay. This is a Mennonite, this is a super friendly Mennonite zone. Yeah, is it? You can embrace it.

Wait, wait a minute, did everybody break away? Martin said I couldn't mention it. All the siblings or? My parents met. There's no Mennonites listen to this show, I guarantee. They might be. Well, the, you're thinking about Amish. I'm not, I realize the difference between Mennonite.

Okay, you do. Okay, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's, I mean, I don't know all. that exactly it's very like uh this is why probably we didn't hunt because they were pacifists they don't believe in war they don't believe in the uh health in health care like it's kind of god's sovereignty i'm speaking a little out of line here but god's god will it's like kind of the same way the dancing with the snakes if you get bit by the snake and you die it was god's will if god's gonna heal you not we weren't that right but it's a very like uh size laughing it's a very like that like a lot

of you're a little my parents are men and i my dad's Hang on, but you act like the parents, but you were as well, right? Don't you come with the whole package when you're a kid? I don't know if I was my parents broke off before you were. Yeah, my parents broke off to go to like. You weren't born into. Not like on a farm, no. Okay.

Yeah, I got this car heart later. So how many, how many kids? You said what, eight? Eight kids, yep. Hey, those men and I get after. Brothers. That's offensive, dude. You can't.

Is it? No, keep going. We got a lie. That's positive. No, I'm saying that's the best one that positive. No, no, they're biblical. There's not anything negative I said about it. They get after it.

They get after it. Hey, they're biblical. When God said, hey, go forth and multiply. They took it to heart, baby. That's a positive. Your parents get after. It is crazy, dude. Oh, that's why because I said your parents get after.

Yes, dude. Oh, okay. John, I need to tell you something. Your parents had sexual intercourse. I'm just telling you. I'm just, I know you ever thought about that. But it happened a lot. No, no, most kids can't get over that,

that their parents actually had sex together. Tell him again, Zad, he ain't paying attention. Well, I'm telling you, Dana, they can't, they just does something to their mind to look at dad and mom and said, oh, no, you mean they actually had sex together? Oh, unfortunately, yes, there, son. You know, the older I get, the more I actually enjoy yard work. I used to hate it as a kid, but now that I'm older, I enjoy getting out there

and now the boys, they're planting stuff. They want to know what stuff grows, how it grows. I tell them, boys, I know some folks that know a lot more than me, and that's the folks over at fast growing trees because fast growing trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers, and they have over 6,000 plants to choose from like fruit trees, flowering trees,

shrubs, there's guaranteed to be something perfect for you. They got something for everybody. They'll actually help you pick, what'll grow where you live so that you're not guessing. Look, it's simple. Click it, order it, plant it. Everything shows up healthy with their alive and thrive guarantee. And if you don't have a green thumb, it doesn't matter because fast growing trees has plant experts.

And they will help walk you through it. They'll teach you all about it. You'll know more because fast growing trees makes it easy to get your yard looking right without making it a hole or deal. And now that we finally started getting some rain here, man, my cherry trees, they pop. My green giants just keep moving up. They looking good, though. They're doing well. They made it simple.

The directions came with it. We did what they said, and now we've got actual cherry trees. They have great deals on spring planting essentials, up to half off on select plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the code at checkout. That's an additional 20% off better plants and better growing at fastgrowingtrees. Dot com. Using the code at checkout, fastgrowing trees. com code.

Now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. Use. Start. To save today, offers valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. The question was, what made you funny? So what number, what out of eight?

I'm third. Two older brothers. Okay. That's not even middle. What would the middle child be of eight? Maybe there's a four. This strikes me so funny. Yeah.

No, no, really. What? That you come from that background and you're a comedian for what you do for a limit. Yeah, I think I saw. So you're number three. Yeah. So were you trying to get attention?

I'm the third child as well. Well, you're obviously, I mean, there wasn't a like litter behind me like you, but like, yeah, yeah. But I feel like you're trying to get. Trying to get do something. Well, you know, they said in the, like in the, this will relate, this is a hunting related analogy. Okay.

So why, they say, why are men are. are typically, typically, not always, funnier than women. Men are funnier than women. And they said this is why. Way back in the Stone Ages,

so women, men need to perform to attract women. So whether that's, you're going to be the hunter, you're going to be in the army, you're going to be the leader, you're going to be going out

and build the home, you're going to, and then there's, and women to attract a man just have to go outside. They don't have to do anything. They just have to exist. And so there's guys like me

that had no skills. I'm not joking. They had no skills. They could be like a All they got to do is walk by. No. But you had to be funny. You had to perform.

You had to do something. I always felt like that was young. Because women like funny people. Yes. I mean, that's one of the time. That's why they say all the way back to like the caveman days, why men are because they have to do there was guys that are like in my my brothers were very athletic

that's why the jester always got the girl let's go dude you got it you got to be able to perform okay okay you were number three yeah no skills are your siblings were they funny i would say not not like not professionally but not but good sense of growing up i mean were you performing for them when you Yeah, Dr. Robertson,

he had an identity crisis as a child. So you, so were you funny in school? I would think I would always be the guy,

I'm always the guy that, you go to a public school? Home school. He was the funniest one of his home. I love homes. I just get roasted

on the podcast. Home school is the bad, I mean, it's the, like, just the whole thought of it. Because I'm like,

I wish I'd went to home school. It was awesome. I mean, I had a one in four shot of being top of my class. Like, you know what I'm saying? Golly. I feel like if I would have went to homeschool, I definitely would have been a comedian.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You stuck with it. Yeah, I was always kind of, I think I was seeing like, went to homeschool all the way through, like you got a degree? No, okay. That would have been. Hang on, that's a legit question.

That's a legit question. Did you get a high school degree? agree from your he graduated well thank you laurdy what if we had i had been homeschooled yeah he'd not have made it oh yeah hey we all wouldn't know you all wouldn't have ever learned that's an interesting thought you wouldn't learn you all would just work granny would just made you work and fish and you just said hey she did that anyway screw that go out and well did you perform did you perform pretty well in public school yeah i guess i did no you didn't well the performance.

You made it through? I was always doing stuff to get in trouble. So, yeah, I had to perform. That's the opposite of performing. Wait, no, the performance, yeah. I missed the question. Did you, like, make it through? How did he perform?

Did you perform well in school? And you're going, yeah, I was always in trouble. So, yeah, I guess. Well, hey, I did real well. He was performing. You were performing. Yeah. What was your GPA?

Oh, days and Cs. Hey, I wasn't into school. So. I wasn't. I really wasn't into it. It was hunting. He was performing. He wasn't into it. You were homeschooled. So did you, were you active in church?

Very, very active. So is that where you kind of found your social? Oh, 100%. So that was your whole social thing. And I remember, I remember always. How big is, how big was the youth group? Probably. Oh, man. I mean, the church was probably 8, 900 or something like that. Okay. So you had a pretty, probably 40.

Big Congress. Oh, yeah. I remember going to. Are you making all them laugh? girls. Yeah. Not the guys? Well, I mean, I would just remember because I didn't know any like girls at homeschool. It was just me and my brothers. Yeah, I mean, he's across the line, dude. That's strike three. So when it came to something funny, were you the one coming up with the funny material? Or were you the one who heard it and said it out loud? I was very shy. I remember when mom and dad would something awry

would, and they would all come to me to kind of discuss it. You know what I'm saying? Like, mom and dad would be up in the front of the van yelling and somebody says something wild. And then it would be like, what's John going to have to say about this? There's a lot of that. But no, like, I would never get up in front of everybody and be speaking or nothing like that. How old are you? 42.

42. I thought I heard that on your podcast where you said, and I'd never thought about it like that. You said, growing up, I listened to this podcast. Would that be true? Maybe. Yeah. I think you said that. What was I talking about?

I didn't think. Have you ever thought about that? I don't think about people growing up, listening to podcasts. It seemed like, okay, yeah, got to happen.

Gotcha. Yeah, it was weird. It was like, oh, wow, there are people now who are saying,

oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when I was little, we're old. I used to listen to your podcast. You're like, I don't even know podcasts

were around back then. So did you actually answer the question? What do you think, was it the, uh, menonism and, uh, that's not how you say it,

Mennonism? Giant family. Your parents getting after. Was it all that that just, like environment. And if I'm saying, wow, you were the only one out of eight that became a professional comedian. Well, I just like, I think the, I think you would see like, for example, what you need in comedy is some kind of incongruency or juxtaposition in some sort. So you would see like, hang on, sir. Tell him what juxtaposition now. It's like a turn. It's like you see two things

that are different. You didn't learn that in homeschool. You didn't learn that. Or like, let me try to think, like maybe something would go like a rye in church. And my dad is a good sense of humor. So we would like, he would handle it very like with dignity and respect. And then we'd come home and kind of talk. So you need to see, if you're in politics, you need to watch the press conference and then be like, well, I know him. And he doesn't act. You know what I'm saying?

Well, you need some. Wait, hold on. Like that's why comedy became huge, not to bring up the topic, but became huge. in 2019, because in COVID, all those politicians were like, you have to do this. And then we were like, well, we see you. Right. Yeah, right. Or the, but that's a lot, there's a lot of hip, you need some level of, you said this,

but we can't make a joke about that because that doesn't line up with that. That's where, that's going to be some kind of, it doesn't add up, I think. I agree. Where funny things happen in youth group and you're like, this guy, our youth pastor, but it's like, this guy's our hero. and I go, this guy works at Circle K. Or, you know, something like that. Yeah, something like that.

Did you go to college? Again, say it in a different tone. Say it like, oh. What is wrong with me asking you should go to college? It said it was shocked. It seemed demeaning. I assumed you didn't hunt, but I'm not assuming you didn't go to college. Did you go to college?

That's how he said that. No, no. This sounds like me and my wife. Say, tell us about. This is me and Corey every day. No, no, the way you said it. No, no, the way you look. You know, like the way your face was.

I know what you meant. Just by the way, you said it. Say, tell us about college. Yeah, that could be an easy way. Okay, so you didn't go to college. That's me making an assumption that you didn't go to. I went to Sanford University down in Birmingham, Alabama. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, I went down there for a little bit. Oh, he did go to college. But you didn't. How long? How long did we make that? All the way, dude, I went all the way through. I graduated. Hey, you got a degree.

You have a degree? Yeah, I got a degree. Debring what? What's your degree? Electronic journalism. electronic what BS on that that's not even a real degree

I'm gonna text it to Martin yeah we'll like electronic journal which is like a newspaper TV and radio wow how many years he took two electors he took two electives

ballroom dancing and I'm calling BS somebody look it up electronic journalism well I knew I couldn't read a book and take a test on it. I knew I couldn't do that. My brain doesn't work like that. But he said right. So right out of college, if you went to college, if you did graduate? Yeah, yeah.

Did you go right? Did you say, I know what I'm going to do? No, I started working for like a church. He did the chair, yeah. That's where all the jokes come from. And I had that drove him to comedy. Yeah. There you go. There you go. Amen. This has been an interesting conversation. They're not going to have J.D. They're not. They're not. going to have their jobs back they're going to go we love this so much those guys are boring we got to have you guys in there every time burden that they have to carry so um that's what he gets for missing work so much for coming down this has been fun uh man you're you're you know we're going to go on tour together in the promotion of stuff i feel like tell me you've seen this because it's so

different now you know used to you doing an interview for like they're like uh it'll be four minutes you know this one's going to be six minutes oh yeah you do to promote something you know know the TV show or whatever. And now with the podcast, it's like, okay, you got five podcasts and they're all last 200 minutes apiece. I'm like, oh my God. Like it's a whole different deal. You know, it's like.

Yeah. Now, you guys are my friend. Or I know y'all. So that's a different. But sometimes you go, what are we doing? I just don't take him anymore. I go, I don't want to do that. Like this one, it was like, I know y'all.

Yeah, because I'm like, oh, so long. I like it's, I mean, I, well, there's only. But I love listening to podcasts. Yeah. There's only so much you can talk about, like, tell us about some truths that you and Corey have learned in your... And you go, oh, I'm like, come at nap. Like, give me. It's too much, dude.

I get really bored and I can't sit there long enough, and then I just want to get up and walk around. That's the first time I ever met you at that conference. Which one? In Sacramento. We were both on it together. Me and you were on a conference together in Sacramento, the Bayside. Oh, Bayside. Remember that?

It's out of 2016. We went to Top Golf. Oh. You remember this. Yeah, that's when I, uh, do you remember what I did with the Top Golf? No. So, I was mad because, so they have a pre-tee. It's like a little rubber tea.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, that's not high. I need the ball because I want to hit it over the net. So I took, they had these little syringes like, like, like full of jelly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they still got those. Like for biscuits. So I took all that apart. I put the syringe in the, in the rubber thing.

It's like the ball stayed up. And I just, and the thing exploded. Like plastic went everywhere. And everybody was laughing so loud. I did hit it over the net. But they were cool with it. Actually,

they gave me a lifetime membership at that Sacramento. So you got the black gold card or something. I don't know if it works everywhere. I don't know that I've ever been backtop. That's when, so the pastor. So the pastor, Ray. Oh,

what's the Ray, yeah. Ray was going through all his questions. So he's on like question. You guys are up there. He was asking you questions. So he's on like question 30. We're in the green room.

And he's like, he's like, he's like question 34 and he's going through him. He's like, you know, and I said, I said, Pastor, I think you got enough questions. And he goes, okay, I just want to make sure I'm thorough. You know how many, we did 35 minutes. You know how many questions he asked us? One. Two. One. Yeah, exactly.

When we walked out the stage, he said, I only asked got one question. I said, I told you had plenty of questions. We're not going to get to all this. Yeah, yeah, we'll figure it out together. That was 10 years ago, man. honored to call your friend for that long. Ten years ago. Too long.

Was it ten? In your comedy routines, what do you, what do you, what's the subject? Oh, subject. Let's see, I talk about. When you were in homeschool, what was the subject? Well, we talk about, let's see, AI, talk about AI. Size and AI. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm in AI. All right. You need a little AI. Don't. What you're like to do AI. You may need a lot. little artificial. Artificial. Yeah. I was talking about my parents. My parents texting the family group chat. Now I'm engaged. So I talk about that a pretty good bit. Me and my fiancee doing

funny October. Relationships always a good one. Yeah, relationship's always funny. Hang on now. That's a bad if you ever get into hunting in October. That's a bad time? Rough, yeah. For ducks. According to where you, no, you probably be right. My buddy texted me the other day. He goes, hey, you know, you know any, you have anybody have any land? I live in Nashville. I go, what do you mean? He goes, turkeys. I go, how do you know if they're on the land? He goes, I'll find them. Is that how it works? That's how it works. You've got to find them.

Does your family ever get mad at you or get on to you for a joke? No, that was coming to him for the answers. I would say I got enough of them. We can kind of say my brother in Washington. There's no brother in Washington. So they were like, oh, they were talking about

they don't know who it's about. Nobody knows there's enough people that they go, My brother is, you know, him and his wife, he go, which one is he talking about? Or one of my brothers doesn't discipline as kids. I want to hit that kid. And nobody knows which one you're talking about. Yeah, which kid?

Yeah, no, they don't know which one. Yeah. Did they all come to your shows? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all come out. Yeah. Well, this has been very fun. I know you've got so much stuff to do.

And as do we. And so you have podcasted out. You've put some time in with, Sadie, now you got I saw all the best people, really. Yeah, yeah, you really did. Yeah. You got them on.

It's a good time of years. It's kind of nice. I've actually planned it around Martin and Jady not being in town. This is when I want to come. That was actually kind of smart. So, John, thank you so much. Thank you for coming down to be a part of the dot call room.

I will look forward to seeing you in Nashville. Let's do it again soon, brother. We see each other. All right, buddy. See you guys later.