Duck Call Room - John Godwin Accidentally Tries an Effective Weight Loss Plan for the New Year

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

Uncle Si feels for Godwin after his messy stomach bug, but doesn’t necessarily want to hear all the details. Martin is glad no one got hurt during an idiotic thing that John-David did at work, and John-David is shocked to hear how dangerous falling birds can be. Martin reveals that he and Godwin once showered together and it really didn’t go well. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know what it's going to be up there to Deer Camp? Oh, Monday to Houston? One degree. One. One. One. One. Yeah.

I got to go up there and drain all them stinking pipes. Oh, you ain't got to do that. That'll be busted when you get there. It's just up below Lake Dukes. degree. Oh yeah, because right under hot spring. Tuesday, I'm supposed to be hunting in

Carlisle. What's that going to be? I bet that's going to be cold. Carlisle, Arkansas. I get there on Monday night. Oh, yeah, you're going to catch it just right. It's one. Yeah. Yeah. With a high of 21. That's just one. One degrees. One.

Monday morning. I ain't going. Is it Monday morning or Tuesday morning? One degree. 50 morning. That'll be Tuesday morning. Yeah. Somebody fixed freeze their butt off. Not me? They can have that. Wednesday is going to warm up to

43 Wednesday. I mean no 32. Somebody says freeze their tail off one degree. It says one. 20 or 34. On Wednesday. Yeah. It's going to warm up to 34. I remember when it was on the real grand.

It was six degrees out there. And it was a different cold, though. It wasn't a wet cold. It was dry. One degree is cold. I was shocked. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, welcome to Louisiana. We have ice. We don't have snow. Let me tell you what you don't want to do. You don't want to eat them, what did I just eat? Wasabi peanut. Yeah, and wipe your eyes.

No, no, I told me, hey, we wrote what you don't want to do. As soon as I cracked the shell. My right eyes on fire. Something's wrong here because it's just a, it was just a fireball. Yeah, that's my right eye right now. But hey, then it's gone. I said, this is so weird. Well, welcome back to the duck car room.

That's what you don't want to do. That's it. Don't rub your eyes after eating wasabi peanut, boys. That's wisdom. They're awesome. Every once in a while we're just having a conversation, the Hunter realizes he just hits record. Yeah.

I like it. Well, Gobben, welcome back. Yeah. Man, thank you. Good grief. How long have you been. sick. I was sick for three days. For three days? It was... Well, you got over it before you come back. I ain't crapped on myself so much since I was a baby.

Oh, good grief. Well, that's graphic. Hey. Did anybody clean you? Or did you have to clean yourself? I had to do. You had to clean yourself? That's pitiful. Turn on the shower. That's it. Turn on the shower. But a bidet is weird. I don't know what this was and throwing up. I don't throw up ever. You puked? But you did this time. Yeah. Paul is Like you got something. Oh, you got one of them stomach viruses then. Oh, well, it was worse than that.

Three days worth? Yes. Oh, you had it going out both ends, huh? I was so weak. I was weak as a kitten. Hmm. Yep. Go sit down on a commode.

Trash can in your lap. Oh, wow. Did you... How much weight did you lose? Oh, I lost... I dreamed. I lost less than a thousand. of a gram. I was like, oh, and G.

He dreamed it. My man just said, oh,mg. Did you see the look on his face? I did. What happened there? Oh, gee. I figured you'd appreciate that one. Yeah. You said you dreamed he didn't lose any weight.

How much weight did you lose? That's in the ground. Five pounds? Five pound? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. Oh, I didn't eat for three days. New year, new you.

Right? I mean, that's where we're at. I mean, a lot of people do it. crazy to start off the year? How you get something when you're in the woods? I don't know. I'm just trying to say, how many times did you soil yourself? That's not.

Probably about five. Do you hear the expression, don't trust a fart? That is. That is. That's a true statement. I thought people were just saying it, you know, ha-ha for a joke. No, no.

And a joke. There are times in life when you cannot trust one. Yeah. it took you five times to get come to no it's like look no this this what they got to figure out of yeah i think i'd have figured out at least just that's why paula said you're hard this this deal this deal was like i'm not going to give you a cramp to warn you that you need to go sit on the pot this has happened i'm just you're just it happens to people and pour in water i'm sure yeah oh it's did you get to the point where you just had to pat?

Badey would have fixed it. Yeah, there was no more wife. I was after the second day. Yeah. I should have brought you some of Jackson and M's cream over there. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't going to apply it to you, but, you know. We always go back to bathroom humor and things.

This isn't even funny, though. This isn't even funny. This is just sad. I mean, this is, I've never had anything like this. I mean, my man sold himself five times. That's terrible. That's a bad deal That's bad

That's right You do not want this Yeah you had a bad bad And it just Come on during the night And then it just went away Not till three days Three days

Did you eat I tried to eat Paula made some soup One night Potato soups Potato soup's good I tried to eat that one night But a lot of dairy

A potato soup Wrong soup Anytime you're sick Get chicken noodle soup We got, I did that too. I tried that. That didn't work. She made tomato soup one, nine, eight.

Chicken soup didn't help you? You bound to felt better. Whatever this was. Chicken soup wasn't out of it. It said, I got something for that chicken soup. Yeah. Okay. Well, hey, there you go.

Like, it's fixing the meat. Normally, hey, if you feel bad or got any kind of upset stomach, chicken soup, and settle it down and take care of it. Yeah, it'd be. That's why I eat a can, like, Yo. Oh, I ate, you know. You'd have to go in the bathroom and just sit there.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I'm serious. You just pop two or three cans of chicken noodle soup a week. I eat, hey, two or three cans of food chicken soup a week. How many meals you eat a week that come from a can or a jar? You're rich. I actually eat a lot out of a can. Did nobody tell you that you're rich?

Look, oh, if you don't, look, if you all, look, if you all by, cabinet there's what a case and a half a chicken noodle soup so you go to samms to get your yeah yeah they buy them they buy why he gets a bag hey chicken noodle soup is healthy yeah but you could like get it from a like any restaurant nope nope nope nope go to know like the the dog they don't know they don't know how to build it nope don't know how to make it over camels no Hey, no, I'm telling you, nobody makes chicken noodle soup as good as Campbell. You are eating canned chicken that is cubed. I'm not positive's chicken.

Oh, no, it is. It's close enough enough of it. Cubed ham, man, are you really about to judge him for this? No, no, no. I've never seen a ham in the wild. Oh, no, no, no, no. Tell me about it. Trust me when I tell you, I mean, ham rules.

I mean, cube chicken, I'm awful. Hey, trust me when I tell you, that cubed is chicken. Okay. Okay. You can't fake that. Okay. Chicken noodle soup, you can't fake it and you can't match it. But what I'm saying is like, why not run by Chick-fil-A and say, hey, can you give me three gallons of chicken noodle soup?

No. And then you pay like extra for it and then throw away the other two gallons because your side and life's still the same. No. And you're not eating Campbell's chicken noodles. You're a real big on Chick-fil-A. Because you came in your pantry. Yeah. but I mean just go every

send somebody your side I'm against canned no no no so you can't be against that soup whenever I was in college and I made $5.15 cents an hour you eat romaine noodles no I was a chunky

soup man I love chunky soup back then and then I tasted regular soup that was just regular because I was saying no good more No, it's way better. No, it ain't no good. There ain't no flavor to it. No flavor.

Chicken noodle soup, if you want chicken noodle soup and it's, have the flavor, it's got to be camels. Got to be, okay? It ain't none of it that even close to it. Are you joking? No, I'm dead serious. I tell you what you do. I'll tell you what you do. And, hey, I'll pay for it.

You go and you buy every chicken soup there is available. Oh, I am in. And you're going to blind taste them? No, you eat them. No, you eat them. No, I don't want to eat them because I ain't eat but one. If it ain't Campbell, I don't eat it. Here's what we should do then.

Let me get three chicken noodle soups. You blindfold taste them and tell me which one's Campbell's. Clearly Campbell's is going to be the best. Oh, no, no. I'm not going to waste my time eating the other two. Okay, because I know Cammo's is the best, okay? The rest of them don't have any flavor. I'm going to have my wife make chicken noodle soup.

I'm not going to do it. Oh, my God. I'm not going to waste my time, son. So you can have candy. She's going to make it brain with it? This is like, let's say, oh, yeah. This is like, uh, she would, but not anymore. Omega X-L.

What? This is just like Omega X-L. This has got a hundred years of research and development. And they ain't changed. Okay. And ain't nobody ever beat them. Martin, are you not going to back me up at all? You're not a chicken soup, man?

No. I'll tell you what I used to like. Why was that? In a word, no. You know what I used to like? Back when I was little, they had chicken and dumplings. But the dumplings was a little round ball. Them things was good.

Campbell's made chicken and dumplings? Yeah. Now, let me tell you, you can put that up against a lot of other stuff. That was good. No, no. I don't eat many meals from a can. No, no. That's just like, hey, that's just like, no.

I mean, I just, I don't. Like, here's another thing that has been tried and tested by years and years of research and development. Marlboro Reds. No. Fix something for rug. Oh, good grief. Hey, do your mom and daddy make you eat it when you sleep? Hey, I, hey, anything, you kind of, you had any kind of cold flu or anything like that?

Yeah. You fixed to eat some fix paper up and get it rubbed on your chest. And you know what? The same people probably own both of them at this point. And the other one was, hey. Because they taste the same too. And the other one was was casserole. Oh, that was another, hey, that was another.

Hey, that was another major medical breakthrough. Okay. Casterol. Uh-huh. If something out of you, hey, you fixed it in a tablespoon. They can put it in engines and run it on. Well, hey, if it had to run an engine without it breaking down for a hundred thousand miles, guess what a deal for a human being?

That's right. Hey, you'll get a hundred of a foul now, don't you? Um, um, that's that. Room for room. So, have you had SpaghettiOs lately? Spaghetti oat. Uh-oh. No.

No. Like six years ago, my kids had spaghettios. I was like, you know what? These are awesome. Made them cold. I can't wait to try this again. Open the can, just start eating them. Oh, no, no, no, no.

That's cold. Yeah, that was, yeah, that's one of them. That's one of them. Okay. Yeah. What about? What about? Spaghetti.

That's by Campbell's. Well, hey, look, I said chicken noodle soup. That's it? That's the only one? That's the whole thing I'm giving a stamp of approval on is chicken noodle soup. I'm bringing three soups into this room one day. What about chili? You got to have, when you have him gourmet hot dogs, you got to have a chili out of a can.

All right, time out. He says, we got to take a break. Why don't we got to take a break? Martin said he's had enough food. Because we're about to talk about chili from a can. We're going down this road. We'll be back back. We've gone too far.

All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means. more outside cook, and y'all know, we love to eat beef around here. And that's what, because of our friends over at Triedells beef, makes such a good product, baby.

Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Triedale's beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different.

different way. Triedails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and ship straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out TryTales beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat.

She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to tribeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. You stay in a can for chili? No, no, I don't go in a can for chili. Yeah, you do. So you'll eat chicken. Do I don't? You do when you eat them going to. made hot dogs you do. No, no, I don't. I make my own chili. No, you don't. Oh, yeah, I do. When we have him down there, it's whole-meal chili.

Oh, you're talking to it feels out? Yeah. Well, I mean, hey, you know, it's somebody else. I've always been interested. You got to eat what you eat. So you're a hormel guy? Yeah. I'm a hormel guy. How come that rack of wolf chili even exists? Do people eat that stuff? No. That's just for decorations. I'm going to come out. I have to be honest. Yeah, that's fine. I've eaten a lot of wolf chili back in the day.

Really? Didn't Wolf the one that makes the chili that they call hot dog sauce or something weird? I believe so. And if you are ever in a situation where you need just to feed a lot of people, a block of velvita, a pound of breakfast sausage, and a can of wolf chili and a can of rotel, and just keep on trucking. And just, you'll end up like God, when you'll end up like God, was last week but

that sounds like a Willie Robertson. I'd say if you had a used whole or mail, you wouldn't have that problem. I was sick. Probably. That sounds like a Willie Robertson recipe. But when the Saints won the Super Bowl, I was cooking that every weekend for everybody.

I'd have to worry about that anymore. Well, yeah. Also, I ain't buying chili in a can no more. I've made it. All right. So can. Yeah.

I ain't doing it. I just got it. What else you eat? So you eat chicken noodle suit. Do you get like chicken out of the can for recipes? The chicken in the can? Yeah. The stuff that smell like cats?

I don't do. I don't do much chicken. No, he's a beef. No, I don't. He's a sweet chicken. Salmonella. Yeah, I don't do much chicken because of that. You'd rather have E. coli?

Well, I'm just saying. That's it. That's what I just. He's worried about salmonella. Yeah. That's it. He likes Campbell's chicken noodle soup because he's against fresh chicken. No.

Hey, I like him because, hey, whenever I've got something wrong with my system. So do you eat the regulation chicken noodle, like in the, just the white and red, like, just the little noodles? It's regular chicken Campbell's chicken noodle soup. It's the noodles and the little cube chicken. Yeah, that's it. So do you eat like the chicken and stars? Like, you know, they make the. Oh, I forgot about them.

Them are good. No. Yeah, they are. It's the same material. Oh, it ain't. Yeah, it is. Same thing. Same thing.

No. Just different look. Hey, no, that's for kids. Do you still eat a jar of olives a night? Uh. Do you still eat a jar of olives? Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you open one of my drawers in the cabinet,

you know. It's two things in there. It's pepper sauce. Yeah. Okay, and then the rest of it is olives with jalapinas. You know, I think you would. will make it to a hundred. He will.

A lot of preservatives. Because as much salt as you take in in a day, you're going to be well preserved. Mm-hmm. Well, hey, I'm just saying. Between the chicken noodle soup, Mr. and Mrs.

Tees, the olives. And when they pick them up a hundred years later, it'll still look. Don't knock Mr. and Mrs. Tees. I'm not,

I'm not knocking at all. That thing is what, that's what got me through, COVID. 19. Is, hey, all I could drink, I didn't want.

nothing to eat and the only thing I drank was I told Philip so saw that hey go get hey and he so he brought four he first he brought me uh what is it v8 yeah trash yeah it's trash made by the people of Campbell's soup no no well they brought in there and I said Philip what did I tell you I said this is junk and he he thought I joke until I chunked it trash yeah I said now go back to the store and get me if it don't have Mr. and Mrs. T. Chunk it. Chunk it.

Which we then got. 75 gallons. I said that on here. I said that on here and look, hey, they started coming in by the gallons. I'm aware. It all came to my office. Okay. Look, I still got some of it in my cupboard.

Well, you know, the good news is not going bad. Well, I would just fix things. Ever. When I eat it, hey, I just put it in refrigerator, get an ice cold, and, hey. There's more soft than that stuff. I'll kill that gallon. I tried that one. day on here?

Mater's is for hamburgers. Hey, you got to acquire it's like wine. I don't know why you drink it. No, no, it's like, it's like wine. You've got to acquire a taste for it. I guarantee you. I've never acquired a taste for wine. I got a serious taste for Mr. and Mr. T.

That's because, hey, when I pop the cork on it. You can drink anything. No, when I pop the cork on it, hey, I kill it for the night's out. First off, that is not coming with the cork. It is not near. Well, hey, I'm just saying, hey, that's because wine. Ain't got no salt. His taste buds are gone.

No taste buds. Are you a believer in vegetables out of a can? No, I'm at the point about now. I eat me some green bean. I'm a canned vegetable guy. My wife can't stand it. When you said can, I had to qualify that. My vegetables don't come out of a can.

They come out of a quart-mason jar. What? That's not a can. Oh, well, there are a can. but it's in a mason jar. Yeah, that's somebody grew it themselves. That's right. And then put it up themselves.

No, no, I'm talking about if the Jolly Green Giant himself came to. Oh, I slept the Jolly Green Giant upside the head and said, I don't want none. So I'm a Del Monte guy. Okay, no. Probably more of a Del Monte guy. I'm a Christine Robertson, okay, is, hey, we grow at the garden. You don't eat green beans? She puts it up.

Oh, yeah. She puts them up. I'm going to say right now. Oh, you grow green beans. Oh, yeah. We grow, whatever you can grow in the garden, then we put it up in. in pint and quark mason jar. Okay.

For as strong as I am against canned chicken noodle soup, I'm four canned green beans over fresh green beans. Oh, they don't get any better. Yeah, I'll agree. Oh, no, they don't get any better. Than what? If it's canned by a human being, no, by a machine.

See, like a green bean. Or the human beings punching the button. You know green bean fresh is trash because they change the name of it. What'd they change it to me? Well, that's what they call Herrick-Cover, right? That's fresh green beans. Ugh, that sounds. You know, they don't say that.

Wait, what is that? What is that you just said? Because that's the first time I've ever heard it. I ain't heard it either. So when you go to one of these fancy restaurants and it says, you know, you got steak with Haric-O-V-E-R-C-O-T, V-E-R-T-E-R-T. That's green beans. Okay, I've never read that.

Why don't they just put green beans? I don't know why they don't just say green beans because they're fresh and you can't call them just green beans. Oh, I can tell you why. You could say fresh green beans. Because they can quadruply the price. That's exactly right. Well, let's take another break.

Man, we've stormed through that. I got to have some coffee. Get you some coffee. We'll be back on this. What are you doing over there, old man? Oh, he's right. I have finished. I have finished my work of art.

I've signed my name, John 316, and then I added, I had on there. John 316 was here. I added, Jesus was here. He is coming back. Okay. Coming back.

That is true. That is a fact. One that I'm looking forward to. That's it. Because you won't have to worry about no duck seasons like the one we got now. Don't have to worry about no game wardens. No, we always been joking about the year they never came. Well, here it is.

Here it is. It's here, boys. They better kick it in gear if they're going to make it. That's right. I don't think it's coming down. Have you, do you remember, so you've been around longer than I have. I don't remember, I don't think, outside of like hurricanes, where one day the wind blew 30 miles an hour out of one direction.

And then the next day, it blows 30 miles an hour out of the other direction. No, we used to. We used to. It started in September. Okay. everything started in September, okay? Because that's one of the first duct that comes south is the blue wing teal and a few green wings. They would start in September and the wind would normally, you know, come out of the north, to north.

That's what I'm saying. We just had an east at 30 and now we got a west of 30. No, no. Most of the time, most of the time from September till. what? Oh, 15th of January. It started and everything would be either north, northeast, or northwest. The whole season. Yeah, that don't happen no more. And it don't happen no more. I know. It was always, you know, we was always looking for that northwest wind around 35 miles an hour. And when we had to Moss Lake, we were talking about, okay, boys. Bluebird Crystal Day with a northwest 35 mile away.

That's it. That's what they did. Daylight would break, okay. The tail would hit us and the jacks. We'd kill a few of them. And then about 9 o'clock, we'd look toward a giant cypress tree up north and look over it.

And here they come. Big Milder, big greed heads. I just love to know the fact that you enjoy shooting jacks then as much as you enjoy shooting them. Hey, the two mull. The two ducks that are the most fun to shoot are green winged till and jacks. Yeah, you pull out in front of that lead jack and you kill the last two. If you're lucky. No, if you're lucky, that's right.

That's right. You shoot at the lead duck by 10 foot in front of him and the one in the back of the one that folds. Yep, it's like for a five. And he'll bounce Oh, four, five times. Four or five times on the water Like a skipping rock. Like a flat rock.

Like a flat rock. Pop, boom, pop, boom, boom. The worst ones are if it comes in right straight at you and you kill him. Because I've literally had to duck And then all you heard was hit the back of the blind. Yeah, but then you don't got to go get it.

Hey, well, you don't have to get it. I know. I know. I bruised all of it. Gumbole. Oh, oh, hey, there's been people hurt in their duck blinds from falling duck. It's dangerous. Duck hunting dangerous.

It is. No, no. No, no, you think about it. A duck is okay. But you think about a Canadian honker goose. Oh, he'll take you out. You raise up and shoot one of them and he hit you. I've seen him fall.

Oh, no, he'll knock you out. Have you ever been hit by a Canadian goose falling from the sky? I've had him hit brush me as he fell in the blind. and it knocked me down a goose a big animal oh no giant yes martin that's like my favorite day ever

what i don't have to say anything it's fantastic that boy I've ever been on a roll well no no but hey you know look at the glitter in his eyes you gotta think about it he had a good night's life oh yeah has anyone ever been impaled by

broken goose wing falling from the sky though I'm sure somebody had not me I get out of the way Oh, yeah, they get stuck. And, hey, blood, blood is everywhere. I have seen, I'm serious. I have seen them idiots try to catch them and then get a bone poke through their. No, no, yeah.

I just get out the way. Let him hit. Let him hit the ground. Yeah, because that is, hey. Catch them is fun, though. Well, no, no, because you've never done that. Most people don't realize. You got a bone through your hand.

You kill a geese, a big goose, Canadian harker, like 40 yards high. That's a lot of weight. Well, hey, he's folded and coming down. well the next thing you go here is it's just just he had to do two hands with that slap oh it's a thud you know cool you don't want to hit you

yeah oh man the splash is the best part and hey and don't chase you know like some people get out of the blind without a gun and go go get a cripple you just you just wasted your whole day oh you got to be a mean sport it's a mean sport it's a mean sporty so hey it is missiles falling from the sky.

Hey, it's them against you. Get on the side of a hill. Would you side by side and it turn over? Oh, yeah, it's it. You've killed more ducks than any human being to ever live.

How many would you say almost hit you? Oh, a bunch. I'd say probably at least a hundred, a hundred. I've ducked. That's a low number. I've deducted a hundred duck coming in

or dead and they're just coming in the blind. Okay. The best one is... Never hit you. No, no. The best one is out... I was out on the gun porch.

Mac Owens is in the kitchen cooking us biscuits eggs and baking and everything. Got you, man. And, hey, pride and joy. Here comes one long wood duck, and he's up there. I mean, he's up there high. He's moving fast.

So, hey, yeah, and he's flying, and he comes over. I'm ready up about 10 foot in front of him, and you just, boom. you know I shot Max got a plate in each hand for somebody to eat and it takes him about three minutes to get out on the gun porch

and then you know he sees he sees the woody fall it took the wood duck that long to fall that's how high he was he took him three minutes okay and he said good grease who shot that and I said hey wang Caudy name of one person sir kill that

Kill of my eye. And it landed on the shipboard. It lands in the blind. And it took three minutes to fall. Owen said, hey, he was up there, wasn't it? I said, he was up there. How fast do wood ducks fly? Pretty fast.

Well, they, everybody. Apparently a lot faster than they fall. If you look, if you look, look it up, I think they say they fly like 60. Uh-huh. But what do you say they fly? Hey, look on a downhill sail. are they up in a hundred miles of night

on the downhill sale like a green winged hill on the downhill hill. I do their feathers not come off when they go that fast. Well, hey, it is wild that they don't. But if you ever heard a bunch of green winged hill coming down

from a downhill sale, it sounds like a jet aircraft coming over you. You'll literally think it is a jet aircraft. How fast did the canvas back fly? Yeah. And then, hey, canvas back, that's the fastest duck on the wing, they say. Yep.

So that's the fastest one. That's Paul's favorite. Well, hey, I clocked a green wing till, and he was cruising. He had it on cruise control, running 75. Hmm. Okay, and that's just on a straight. He's like 10 foot of water. So I just, he's, he's going right side by side.

I'm in my truck on the highway, high 20. Get it there. Okay. And look, he's running side by side, and I look at my speed on it. It's 75 mile an hour. And like, I'm saying, he was on cruise control. Good.

Because he wasn't even, you know, like on a downhill sale, I'm telling you can double that. You should have seen some of them Woody's this morning in that 40-mile iron win. Oh, no. They don't buy me so fast, I couldn't even grab my gun.

That's it. That's sporty sheep. No, no. The first time I ever went duck hunting. I know that. Hey, I've had them backpedaling in the decors. With a 25-mile-hour wind, you know, they're fighting a win coming in. We shot one time, and hey, they are 150 yards away after we pulled the trigger one time.

Because they threw them wings back, and son, they are out of there. They go. So, hey, when they say, I think they say a duck normally fly like 75. You know, well, I've clocked them at 75. I know they do 75 on cruise control. Just cruising. Just cruising.

Now, you see them up there when they look like mosquitoes, as you call them, and then they do like the aircraft in the movies. There's the target boys when they all bail out just. Well, hey, when they start coming down. How do they not run? They're breaking the sound barrier. I've heard it. Okay.

Yeah, because it's just a war. Will you hear them come over you? The first time I ever went hunting down at fields, it was with Stone and Cy, and he yelled about cruise control and 75 miles per hour for a good 60 minutes. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, that's a true story. I actually was in the Delta. Uh-huh.

Going by Ricefields, and hey, a green wing tail is flying. I looked at my speed on it. He's doing 75. And look, he's just kind of... He's just tipping. He's on cruise control. Yeah. Cruise control.

Yeah. That's how they get... That's how they get down here so fast from Canada. Well, well, you're talking about that. We killed a wood duck. Look, he was banded like 4 p.m. in the evening in Seattle, Washington. We killed him at... 4 p.m. the next day on

Gillum, Louisiana's old river. So you're saying in 24 hours that duck flew from Seattle to Louisiana? He flew. He took his time. He flew from Seattle, Washington, where they released him to Dixie, Louisiana on Red River, the following evening in what?

I think 12 hours. Yeah, he took his time. Yeah, and he wasn't even flying fast. Is that the one that fell for three minutes? Huh? No. The highest one I ever seen was Jason Robertson killed a, I think it was a Gatwaw? Yeah.

Was a 10-gauge. How long did he fall? Oh, I think we counted 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004, 1005, 1006, 107, 1008, splash 2009 10010 another splash because you killed two

but this was with a 10 gauge shotgun yeah he didn't even fall for three minutes well three minutes if you fall for three minutes I looked it up that's 98 miles I tell you size the only one that can shoot a duck and kill both of them that's right

boy when they have one he's also the only man that cannot shoot and kill three of them that's right that's right That's right. Hey, I'm the only man known alive. Okay, they killed three for three with blanks. Okay, because they told me, hey, we put blanks in the shotgun.

I said, well, I said, you boys just seen a miracle. And they said, what are you talking about? I said, because, hey, I was three for three with these blanks. I said, that's when you know you're good. You are a true shotgunner. That's right. If you can kill three for three with blanks, boys. with just the wads.

Okay, that's it. Kill them with the wadden, boys. Knock them out. I've seen that happen before, boys. Bill Robertson put the wadden in the chest of a big old mowler drake. Yeah. The pellets were gone, but the wadden killed him. The pellets probably went through him.

Well, it did. It did. But the wadden, plastic wadden, was stuck in his chest. Martin, how do you feel about everything you just heard? there's just some fundamental mathematics problems on most of it. Just stumbling up on that.

That actually happened. Oh, the Wadden? Yeah. Yeah. I've done that for him. Hold on. I fixed that.

He stuck the Wadden in a big... That's one they're up there close with you. Yeah. Yeah. That's when they're in there too close. That's when you ain't got to leave. No. You just go, boom.

The Wadden will go through a drop tile ceiling, though. It will do that. That's all that. left. Easy. To the ceiling? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Johnny D.

Shot a hole in the ceiling. What, me? I don't know. Desop. Did you kill that termite? You're shooting at? The what? No.

I just wondered what would happen if you shot a wad at the ceiling one day. I was sitting at death, so I did it. He did do it. Scared me to death. It was somebody cleaning a shotgun that was unloaded. You cut the pellets out. And it went on? Well, I guess so, because the wand got it packed.

Did it go off? It was even extra loud because it was indoors. Did it go off? Yeah, it won't off. The Lord did it go on. That wad went straight through the ceiling. Yeah, there's a perfect wadden-sized hole where his ceiling was. I bet that wad's still up there above that office somewhere.

That tells you, if the ral find it. That tells you how powerful it is. The pettits are gone. And all it was there was the powder charge. It's still a projectile. Yeah. You don't want to get shot by it. Oh, no.

Yeah. Oh, that hurt. Yep. But here we are. Hunter don't know what to think today. I looked over at him a couple of times. He's just like, what are y'all talking about? Look at his eyes.

Fast ducks falling. Yeah. He said this ain't even leisure no more. What is? Look, he just tells you. That goes to show you. He putting little tabs in there. Hunting is dangerous.

It is dangerous. It is dangerous. Here we go. You've got a loaded weapon. Have you ever read Hunter's notes that he takes while we're talking? I don't know. Some of them I sent to him. Yeah, cut that. No, those are hilarious. He puts for some reason in there a lot.

For some reason. They always cut the best stuff. My notes are to keep, are for fun for me and for whoever else reads them. Yeah, we know what you're doing over there, Hunter. Yes, and today's for sure says now we're talking about canned green beans for some reason. Yeah, we got in green beans to almost. It's always just Campbell's suit. My notes say duck hunting is dangerous. geese are dangerous, being impelled by geese is dangerous, being attacked by geese is dangerous.

It is dangerous. And look, they're destructive as it. Oh, get out. They'll bust your eardrums. They, look, anything. That's not what I'm talking about. That's a Canadian. That's a Canadian.

But look, he's mad at you right now. He's hot. When they destroy their own habitat, you know they've got an attitude problem. Yeah. That goose was just a mad. He was getting after you all ready. What's that? You just put him up there.

He was trying to whip a little old pretty. pretty wood duck. 28,000 email? Really? Quit looking at my stuff. Really? I'm just trying to match the amount of claymores it's going to take to get rid of the geese.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You just remind me or something. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We got to take a break. We got to get in the emails. Okay, all right, we got to take a break. We'll be back. Oh, good, great.

Y'all just started something there, boys. Email. Hello. duckballroom.com is the email address. Johnny D. What are we have in there? Well, Gobwin's back. Surely there's something

that we've been saving for Galvin. I did have something that was saving for Gobwin. That's right. But you got to go through all them emails. I got it. I'm going to go to that one second.

But Galvin, have you heard of whole body deodorant? Whole body deodorant. Have you heard of it? I've never heard of it now. I feel like that's something you would be in on. I just do it under my arms. See, but now they got whole body deodorant.

I got that. But Cassandra. emailed in and told me that that is for women, for underarms, and other places. But Cassandra, no, they make it for men now, so I need to clear that up. That's right. It's called the bod. No, it's called. I don't know what it's called, but.

Hey, mine's called the bod. That's gross. That ain't gross. Hey, I've been told by the thousands of women that I smell. It's a whole body deodorant. Yeah. Imagine just lather it up. Yeah.

No, it's a ladder. You put it on while you're taking a shower. Yes. It's a great system. Well, that's just to send it soap. Bourbon and deodor. That just sounds like lotion. And the bod.

Never mind. I thought it was a good idea. That lady's been on the TV a thousand times lately. We're not worried about it. Anyway, Amaya has a question specifically for John Godwin. Okay. Throughout your podcast, this has been said of multiple times that Godwin hates the cold. Water.

Water. You're not afraid of cold air. Ice. No. No. She's not a coat for that. She said A coat of many colors

She's wanting you to look into this You may be allergic to cold water Oh, I am And you might not think that's a thing But her mom's allergic to cold But basically if you have allergic reactions to the cold You might like, do you get rashes and stuff If you're in cold water?

No I just my muscles lock up He ain't lying He ain't lying it's like if I would get in cold water it's just like a surre you can break me in half

he got a phobia and he goes so is that do we think that's allergic or just I don't I just think that's I don't like it it's a phobia a fear of the cold I jumped in my parents' pool on New Year's Day

it was really cold stupid and stupid I'm agreeing and I'm not even I hand denied it so do we think he's allergic to cold or just not into the cold? No, he's not into the cold.

I don't like it because it just hurts. It's a fear or a phobia. I don't. He's not scared of it. Yeah, yeah. He don't like it. Hey, he's scared of it. Do what?

If I was scared of it, I wouldn't be a duck on it. That's why he wouldn't go out on the eyes. That's a good point. He's duck hunts 60 days a year, so he's not afraid of the cold water. He just prefers not to be around. I don't like it on.

He prefers to not be in it. I don't like, yeah. Hey, you can. and go from that to fear. Yeah. It ain't with just a short distance between. Fear, paranoia. Yeah.

Well, everybody else is gone to hell. You know how them Robertson daughter. They're going to make up a story. Yeah. Hey, I like snake. I don't like snakes. You know why? You scared of them.

I'm scared of them. That's fine. I got a fear and a phobia of snakes. When Amaya brought up that her mom was legitimately allergic to cold. Oh, okay. So this was a... She's like a medical. If it gets cold, she has a medical issue.

I was like, maybe she was just wanting to check in on Gaw and make sure that wasn't his thing. No, that ain't what happened. My muscles just locked up. I mean, it don't last a long time, but it just hurts. I still go back to that day, me and Godwin, we're at the gym together, shower, and something happening in the hot water went out. We're in separate stalls, mind. Whoa.

You got to learn how to tell a story, man. But I'm just saying, we worked out. I remember a couple days ago, me and God were taking a shower together. I can see it. I can see it. Okay. There's a little Robert. It wasn't a couple of days ago.

It's been like eight years ago. Yeah. For one. The hot water. We worked out. We worked out. And we were taking hot showers, getting ready to come work. Side by side in different stalls.

And the hot water said, whoop. Yeah. And then I was like, man, that's cold. And then that's cold. And next door to me, I heard, and I was like, what in the world? He said, a bear's coming into the next stall. Then he did it again.

Yeah, a bear's coming into the stall over there. So me, I had to know, so I piqued my head up over the stalls. I'm six-four. And guy, just like he said, it locked him up. He couldn't reach the faucet to turn it off. Oh, it hurt. Now, I may be, that may be something.

You probably do have. Because my muscles just. I mean, he could not reach. up to turn the faucet off so i reached over and turned it off for and i was like what in the world are you okay he said that cold waterman and it went from like a hot shower to yeah buddy i'm talking about cold it was cold it was cold oh yeah i mean i i ain't trying to sugarcoat that or or or downplay it or oh no i've been there nothing it went from really nice shower to cold and i was like because when it hit me which wasn't a big deal i was like oh man i just reached up there and turned it off

real quick. I was like, wow, that's brisk. That'll wake you up. But Guy was so locked up and where it was hitting him was like beat red. It was like, you might have something. Because it was like hitting him like right here. I wouldn't like it, but I'd be like, okay, let me turn this off real fast. If it's locking you up.

The rest of us can reach up there and just slap it off, slap the water off. But Godwin, I mean, he had just like his fist clenched. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. When I was in college. It hurts my back. When I was in college. It is pain.

Yeah, he tenses up so much. That's not good. I see it. You might have something. It was wild. He's allergic to it. When I was in college, my buddy would always be singing stone-tipple pilots in the shower and it'd drive me crazy, so I'd get a bucket of ice water and go throw it over the shower.

If you did that to Godwin. That's hateful. It's hilarious. I know, that's hate it. I'd care you. I would never do. That's what I'm getting to. Once Godwin got warmed up, you'd be dead.

Yeah, you think it'd get whooped. Now, you probably got five to ten seconds to get a really good head start. Oh, that's funny. What would you do? If you stand there taking a hot shower, somebody dumped a bucket of ice water on it. They had to know who I was. Folks, y'all can't see his eyes.

You can't say that. You don't want to sell cold water on this man. It's a hypothetical situation. We would have a discussion. No, never throw a snake on you, cold water on you. No. You risk can get hurt. That's a good way to.

live. No, I was walking towards Sire with like a 12-15-inch water snake, a little baby, and he pulled his shotgun out on me. Hey, never mind. I don't care for it's a grass snake. I wish you, both of you. Yeah, he wouldn't kidding. I really don't care.

We're not throwing snakes in any way. He wasn't kidding about that. When I moved that boat and that little snake come crawling out from a hundred and I grabbed it, started walking towards him. All I heard was, I was that, uh-oh. No, never mind. Jokes over. No more joking.

There's no joke in there. No jokes on here, boys. Yeah. Homie don't play that Anyways I just don't There's nothing Is there something that would set you off like that?

Hey that's the biology Cold water and more snakes Spiders Yeah I don't like But I mean I don't care Like If somebody were to walk at you with a spider Would you threaten murder?

He would back up I'd be like keep that thing to yourself Well I Especially one of them big old hairy torrentulas Oh no Like they got hairy Yeah No that they got spiked

Spine will bite you. Papily. That's bad business. Yeah. Anything that'll bite you and it'll rot out. Oh, yeah. But for the most part, like a spider, like the reason that they don't bother me so you can step on him. You're faster than a spider.

Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. But that's why I don't like horses. You don't like horses? You're not faster than him? I like to be the highest thing on the food chain wherever I'm at without a weapon. Yeah. Horses, I'm not. They'll kill you.

Yeah. That'll throw you off. I know that. So I'm not getting on one. Yeah, I don't trust them. They got that weird look on their face. Boy, I fed, we had a horse. It's a great long face.

And Paula was chasing them cans. Can't chase him. He was a nervous horse. We'll say that. And I fed him sweep feed for a week. And we went to a rope and she was out there out there in the arena. And that thing threw. rode her off.

Oh, she's mad. Oh, I had one jump out from under me. A horse? How does the horse check? Oh, he will. He literally, hey, I think the belly strap broke. I'm not sure. So you was just left there with a saddle?

No, no, no, no, no. Look, I'm going to tell you how fast this horse was. The guy that owned the horses, I'm on the horse, he's telling me how to ride. Well, I've been riding just for a child. I just got tired of it, and I just, Hey, I just kicked the horse from both sides. Well, hey, the next time, though, I'm still in the saddle, and I hit the ground, and I look, and the horse is one mile away going across the highway.

You fall as slow as the duck. No, no. No, no. I'm still, you know, as soon as he jumped on his horse, a big red room, he caught him, come back, you know, checked it, and then resettled him, and I said, hey, let me get back on him. oh no no if it goes to the bar i said no i want to ride that i said i guess got the name for that horse he's what i said lightning and i want to ride him ride the lightning right because that sucker

can run buddy he won't let me ride him unbelievable oh that's funny well go ahead johnny d send us out of here matthew 1042 i did not know this was a verse until about 10 seconds ago and if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple truly i tell you that person will certainly not lose their reward don't give them don't give god one a cup of cold water but other people might well give him a cup don't get me a cut just don't splash it on just don't pour it down his back that's right that's right pour it on it on