Duck Call Room - Justin Martin Purposely Ruins His Own Surprise Party

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Uncle Si is both shocked and amused by the wild Vegas bets on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement. The boys agree they’re rooting for the couple to make it and serve as a strong example of marriage for the generation watching closely. Si admits he roasted his rump during a seven-hour road trip with the seat heater cranked too high. Phillip is fired up about Si’s upcoming dental overhaul, Martin marks his 40th birthday in true fashion, and a runaway pony adds excitement to John-David’s daily commute. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, folks. Hey, welcome a podcast. Welcome back. Hey, look, we're missing half of a crew, but hey, me and Philippe they can handle it. Sae, this is like the teeth that you were missing before we get all that, all those fixed. Yeah. Oh, by the way, that's what's new about me. Johnny D's in the house.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! What about it? Come on here, sit down there, son. So I said, hey, they'll be here in a minute. Did we just start our house?

We just started early. Hey, we, Hey, what's up, JD? Look, feel naked and afraid. I haven't been able to prepare myself. Hey, the show must go on, baby. Are you in a hurry today? No, I just, the show must go on.

So we just started without you and old Martín. Well, I walked in the building and the red light was on outside and I said, I don't know what, are they rolling? Hey, rolling. And then I almost waited because I thought y'all might be doing something. You know, you know, Cy's a little impatient. He's ready to roll. We can, we can actually. find out what's going on with the folks out there.

I'm with you fellow. Well, I need my computer to do that and you didn't really get your computer. Well, I'm going to try and get set up. Get it set up, JD. What you do, man? What you've been doing? Hey, hey, I'm rocking a road. I'll tell you what he did do.

We drove seven hours to St. Louis a few days back. And when we returned home, he said, Philip, my butt is hurting so bad. I never went to a like six hour and a half drive. talking about, hey, this is never happened before. My butt is killing me. I drove all the way to Ducktown, Tennessee this weekend. That's a good place. Great place.

Oh, no, we went there. We had a vent there. And my butt hurt. Well, you know what? Hey, you know what I was doing? What? Hey, I must be thinking about cooking a pork roast. Because, hey, I turned the heater on on his truck seats.

Oh, hey, and I had it on all seven hours, six and a half hour. No, one of my butt. Hey, I've tried. Hold on. You rode with the heated seat on. For six and a half hour. That is true. I got out of the truck and you saw her.

Oh, good grief. My butt hurt. Philip, he'll come back to me two days later and he said, I figured all what's wrong. And I said, what? He said, I, Alicia was sitting in the seat the other day going somewhere. And she said, good, great, your thing's partying me up. And you had the heater on the house. He had the heater on the whole.

time. Half hour. So literally what I did is, hey, I barbecued my rear end. Barbecued your butts, huh? That is one of my favorite practical jokes on road trip. Just see if you can reach over, turn the heated seat on it. Yeah, and then, hey, when he gets complaining about, hey, good, gleefe my tail so. Well, hey, I did a favor.

I know you like heated seats. Well, hey, I put it on high. That way, you was, hey, you was. I had the exact opposite problem, baby. My buddy drove us and I was like, you know what's really cool about this one car I was in? It had air condition seats. And I told him that on, I mean, it was nine hours there.

This is about hour five back. He goes, oh, I have those. And I didn't see the button. And I was like, I could have a nice breeze on my undercarriage this whole time. Oh, hey, they even went further than that. Now you got them or, hey, you push a button and have a massage. No. Oh, that's true.

How serious. You know who's got that is Alice. Alice got that in her car. Who's Alice? Alice, you know, Alice Givens. Oh, yeah. Alice, Gibbons. Anyways, what's y'all doing in St. Louis?

The flower. I'm over there, okay, a dentistry. Innovative, innovative dental. They got a fabulous place. Oh, man. You got, hey, John, D, D, D, you got to pull this place up. Innovative dental. It is awesome.

I feel like I'm cheating on my dentist right now, but I never go see him. But it's in Springfield, Missouri. So I'm going up there because I'm fixed to have all my teeth in my head pulled out. No. Every one of them?

No, no. All of them. You're going to look like a horse. Well, no, no. And then I'm going to have implants put in to replace what all, you know, these things I've got in my mouth have 70 of rough years on it. Yeah, get rid of them.

So hey, go. And you have your... They got a great group. Oh, yeah. You're going to be out there flaring ducks this duck season with your smile. Hold on. I'm telling you. Hollywood, sigh.

My only fear is that you get teeth so bright and white. You're going to flare ducks all season long. You know how to have to worry about brushing them with any kind of whitener? Hold on. You're getting brand new teeth and they told you not to brush them. I think that's what we got here. Hey, he said I won't have to brush them with whitener. Oh, yeah, yeah.

He said, because they're going to be white. Yeah. And size got a lot of choice here. He can pick out Hollywood white. He can put, you know, whatever kind of shade he wants. Dave said, hey, if you want gold or silver stuff like that. Diamonds and pearls. Yeah, diamonds and pearls, y'all.

I've telling you, these guys are the top of the line. And look, on the bottom, JD. That's what I look like if you actually saw it. I'm trying to find a picture of what size going to look like. And I don't think it's possible. I'm going to be beautiful. I think, hey, you. If you're out there and you're proficient at AI, maybe Photoshop of some sort,

Si Smile. If you could, just go ahead and give us what Si's going to look like. Hear, new, and improve, Si. And the good news is you won't flare ducks up anymore. But it's coming. And you know what the better news is? What? That you won't flare ducks up?

You'll also have a, you're so new age, you're going to have your duck stamp on your phone. That's right. You're going to have beautiful teeth. No, because I don't have fun. but I will have a phone with me. That will be Martine. There you go. Martine will be there to say,

when the game wants to let me see the last duck aside. And I said, I can't let you. Of course, y'all know we're talking about going. I said, but Martin. Martine's going to go digital at duckstamp.com and keep it handy on his phone. That way, when those ducks are just cupped up and say, what is that a field full of diamonds?

And then they're like, no, that's Uncle Size. teeth. He'll be legal. Well, everybody's got a beautiful smile. And everybody's got a beautiful smile. And Dr. Olson was awesome. That is true. Dr. Megan was awesome.

If you're a dentist or a dental hygienist and you walk in looking like, I'm pulling that little piece of cloth off and I'm walking out because I don't trust you. So you better have a good smile. Well, no, no. Because they got here, they're top-notch. In Springfield, Missouri. I just met him. It's like a resort.

You know what I mean? It's like a resort with a wonderful place. It's just a great place to go. Yeah. It took us forever to do that. You know why? Because me and the two good-looking women was working on me. Danica and Kara.

We couldn't stop laughing. So, hey. Were they laughing at you or with you? That's an important. Well, that was laughing at me and would be. Hey, and you know, Sa. They was actually laughing at themselves because she said,

I've never done this before, or Clara did. She said, I'm never done for. And I got to do it on the local side. I'm keeping. Wait. Yeah. She'd never done it before. No, she was just. She was holding the air.

Yeah, she was helping. The mirror was fogging up so she had to blow air on it so we could get tax rates. And sigh wants to tell stories. He had such a good time doing it, and so did I. When sign gets nervous, he wants to tell stories. And so he can't talk because he's got all this stuff in his mouth. And he's like over there, Oh,

uh, uh, uh, that's actually why I quit going to the dentist. Hey. I have four fake teeth that are very important to take care of.

But I, every time I go to the dentist, they want to hold a conversation with you while they're also seeing how much stuff they can put in your mouth at once. No, no, no, she said, drop you,

your doors, y'all, drop it to the left. Right. What kind of dentist is this? Right. This is no, the new and innovative. Oh, yeah.

Okay. And they had to do a lot of x-rays on the side. What did they tell you to drop? By lower jawbone. I thought you said from your... Okay, that's part of the reason you need new teeth. I thought you said they told you to drop your drawers. This is in between all the laughing and carrying on just going on.

Yeah, I bet so. And the metal plate and his head kept spiking off the rate. They're beeping. What were you begging beep? I don't know. The she was beeping. I guess it didn't last. Me and technology don't get along.

And so now, Sae's going to get to pick out how his smile looks. And so we've gone back. Well, no, no. And we've looked up all the old pictures of Sae and his beautiful smile. I want you to look like when I was a young man. I wanted to be quasi-uncomfortable.

Look at Uncle Sai smiles. You know, Uncle Siah Robertson's smile. Back in the day. Well, thank you, I got teeth missing everywhere. As a person who sits very close to you for around three hours, the week. I can confirm. Yeah, I used to have a beautiful smile. I really did. You're a good looking.

That's one of the things that got Ms. Christine for me. The smile? Yeah, and she said, hey, he's got to have pretty teeth. Okay, he's got to be six three. For better for worse. It's a good thing that's there. So I look at that picture that mean you just saw. You see it on there?

On the images? I don't know. No, that's a different picture. But, you know. I have no idea. All teeth, boys. He was all teeth. All right, look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Tritels beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good.

Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. and you never really know where that beef comes from, but with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch

and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef.

I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. I'm not trying to go back to your teeth, but I am. Okay, we'll go back to my teeth. Well, because I Googled the place you were going.

Yep. Oh, this place is nice. And I've never, I've actually never seen anything like this. No, no, this is like a castle out in the middle of nowhere. No, no, no. Here's what you don't know about it. Oh. I've never seen somebody with this many reviews of anything and still be 5.0 stars on Google. Yes, absolutely.

Even Duck Commander, Google reviews, somebody going to go in there and give you a one star just because they don't like you. Yeah. This place has 4,816 reviews and is all five star. Yeah. Duck Commander's only four and a half star. Oh, I told you, though.

Hey, I told you they were fabulous people. So once you get the teeth in it, then we're going to do something with that beard, give you a little trim, trim. No. Nah. Hey, yeah, look, I actually have a haircut coming up next Wednesday. You can go with me.

Russell would be glad to shape you up Yes No no What? No Because he's not a good looking woman Well hey If I find a good looking woman at Russell's shop

Will you go get your haircut Hey bring her in here to do it Hey you don't want to get a haircut What if she came in here to do it? I will get a trim Yeah yeah Well yeah I'm not trying to shave your hair And a beard trim

Will you let Russell do it No Hey you get some fine little woman there She can, hey, she can go for it. Okay. I'm arranging a haircut. All right. And a beard trim.

Hey, will they come here, Johnny, do you? Not really. I will get somebody. Yeah, they'll come here. Si, whenever you trimmed your beard, I don't think a lot of people look good with that, with that thing going on. What thing? What thing?

Specifically what thing? Like, goatee thing. Nah, the goatee wasn't for you, brother. No, no, no, no. No, no. No. I was about to say, I thought it looked. amazing on you.

It looked good too. Yeah. And look, this was somebody didn't do what I really wanted done. We could tell. They just,

yeah, they just, you know, I just turned me up a little bit. Well, I did not like the the GOT fans were gone. The Goate fans

was strange for me. Well, no, no, because that's like, you know, like, not all people

that go ball look good. That's true. But I've, I've known a lot of people I had, especially I had one of an 8-6 above me. Y'all, I was 8-4 at the time. And he was in charge of me.

He was a ball-headed guy. Hey, look, that cat, every time you've seen him, he always had two good-looker-looking women on his arms. One on each of all. He was bald-headed. I mean, he looked like he went to a shoe-shine boy every morning. Really? Where his head?

Where his head? He probably had a good sense of humor. I was a few-shawn, man. dancer. One in the land. Hey, that's the song. It is a good one too. If you have confidence,

it's not just about your looks all the time. You got to be confident. But I'm just saying, not everybody like the gaulty's not for me. John Gowen looks good with a gaulte. Yeah. This is true. I like his goutique.

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't recognize him without it. I would be uncomfortable if he walked in without one. I'm trying to find somebody that has five stars in West Monroe and both Chick-fil-A's don't even have five. Oh, you brought up the dentistry and it's got five stars? That's what I'm saying.

I knew there was good people when I got there but good grief. I mean, it's impressive. I'm not trying to do a whole ad for them because I go to a totally different dentist only when something terrible happens like a tooth falls out. I don't know who had the most fun up there when he was up there.

Because I was telling a lot of stories. I don't know who had the most fun. Me or them. Even the churches in this town aren't five stars. Also, who's out there rating churches poorly? What's your problem, man? Who's over here, one star in a church? You're one star, the church?

The pew was a little hard. Oh, what a nerd. Anyway, I honestly also kind of feel bad that we started early. It's Martin's, hey, it's Martin's 40th birthday yesterday. I know. And we just started with that. That's why we started. We're waiting for him

to come in with a surprising. Oh, he'll actually be happy that he doesn't have to do the whole Hey, so I was ready to go this morning. I like the energy you're bringing today. What, no, hey. You're rejuvenated. I'm fired up. I'm worn out after that ride to duck down,

but you are fired up after your ride. I finally got over my butt cook, okay. The mystery has been solved. Yeah, the mystery butt cook. Excuse me. You know, I've traveled all the time and I don't never, no, I don't get out of the truck told you. Have you ever been white water rafting, Si?

No. That's what I did. up Tennessee where they did hey they got a river up there that is for a white one yeah I went on it look I think that's where they filmed a movie

that's where duck Tennessee I still up around that river the Cowie River they have the part where they did the kayaking of the Olympics and my buddy fell out hey I think that that's where that

movie what was the name of it Robert Reynolds yeah yeah deliverance yes deliverance that's where they filmed it

The river's shot was on that river up there. They told us when we went there. They not been. Yeah, check it out, Jada. There's a lot of rivers up there. Yeah. Yeah. But you had to be close to it.

And yeah, I was. But that's why I didn't go, that's why I don't go white water rafting because of deliverance. Like jaw. You never know. Yeah. Here it comes down. Bambing. Boom.

Boom. Well, if you hear banjos, run. I fell out of the boat a couple times. Yeah. If you hear Benjo's, this water is going so fast. You ain't swimming in it. You're just floating and bouncing off rocks. Oh, no.

Was it cold? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because it's August. It's cold. Yeah. But my buddy fell out, and he took the Olympic section of the Cowie River from 1996, sands a raft.

He just decided to swim it backwards. He looks like he got putting a cheese greater out. He got beat up. When I think about that, I always go. Rocks to the head. No, none to the head. Always go with the pioneers going west. when I think about all the stuff they run into back in the day.

And this is in covered wagons. I ain't doing covered wagons. No, no. When we went, me, dad, mom, and my wife, and I don't know if the kid, I don't think the kid. But it went to Arizona. And when you come to the Grand Canyon, hey, they had to get across that. Yeah.

And they did it with horses. and mules and ropes and pulleys. Johnny D., can we get Sada to play Organt Trail? Look, that's me right there. How'd you like to do that on the organ? That's my foot. No.

Uh-huh. So we're looking at Johnny D. Upside down. Rafting on the white water. He told me to go ride the front of it. And hey. That's why. It ain't but one thing visible of JD.

That's his calf and foot. I got a nice calf. Now, thank you is the right one. That's just an ankle. Yeah. You could do that. No. Let's go.

Me and you, I got a guy that's a lot of fun. He's a great guy. He had a co-rafting. He's a good time. Just like you, when he told me, I'd go up and get on the front too like an idiot. Yeah. It was a good time.

Is there a safe way to do it so you don't fall out? So we did get to the bottom. And we had a guy named Brett, and he was genuinely hilarious. And also, all of a sudden, we'd just be underwater. And I was like, I don't feel like this is always happened. This was a redneck on the Riviera of the river. the river. And then Brett would leave and kind of start laughing whenever we'd, you know, be done

with being soaked by literally waterfalls. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then we got to the bottom of the river and I was like, hey, Brett, why are all those people dry? And he was like, because they're not as fun as me, man. And I was like, chat chat chat chat. You're not phone people. So there is a way. Hey, if they're dry, they're not fun people. Look, that's Brett. And that's the six of us. Who went with you? It was for Heath's 50th. Are y'all in a boat or just riding down the river? We're in a boat in that picture. Yeah.

A raft. And the other people at the bottom of the river were dry somehow. So I do think there's a way to do it. But I'm going with Brett at a coi rafting every time. Yeah. That looks fun. It was a good time. Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, sorry. I was trying to dial this up for later. What? Hold on. Okay, well, now I got to show, sigh. Uh-oh. I was actually going to show you this later once Martin got here. But Martin's just missing out today.

So I was driving to work down Arkansas Road yesterday, and I had to turn around because I saw something, Sigh, because there's cops everywhere. Oh, my goodness. It's a Shet of a pony. And then all of a sudden there was a poe. What's this cop? A miniature.

That's a shettler pony. And I thought of you, say. And I was a good one. Boy, I'd ride that thing except for here and ever. Because I thought of you, Sire, because I was like, man, Scott's up there training wild Mustangs, and we just got them running loose in our neighborhoods. I'm saying, running loose in the neighborhood.

No, no. Scott showed me a picture other day. Guess who was in a little? the train in the pen. Marsha. He named a horse after his wife? No, no. No, no.

Barsha's in the pen and she's working one of the Mustangs out. He's got no rope on him. She just got a rope over her shoulder and she's telling him, hey, go, feed it up. I didn't know she knew anything about horses. Well, no, no, they're learning.

Okay. Scott's actually going to school for it. Hmm. Okay, they send him the arrange that does it. and they got people there that's been doing this for years that are training him. I've been training a donkey for about 15 years. I love the watchtall Paris Sheriff's Office,

but them two boys had a giant leash and had no idea what to do with this pony. Because they were trying to chase it, and I felt like I needed to stop and let him know that horse is fast. That animal, though, that's a smart animal. Did they catch him? I finally had to go to work at some point.

They had to keep, I'll see him keep running. I may or may not have stopped, turned around. You don't chase a horse. Stop, turn around, growth past. Don't chase it. You make him come to you. You get an apple or something. I take a bite of an apple.

It wouldn't work with you. You got to slice it first. I'm serious. Teeth chokes all day. I love horses. Where in the world is Martin? Oh, no. You said he was all in his way or close?

He ain't very close. We have so much breaking news to tell Sy. We have to tell Martin about his birthday. I hope he knows about it. I want to know what happened his birthday. He may be at a birthday breakfast. Well, that might be. Somebody may have bought him breakfasts.

We're in at a Waffle House. Oh, that would have been. Would you like to have a waffle just with your steaming hot with syrup all over? Yes. For my birthday? Of course I would. Butter on it when it was hot and spread it over it and then put surf all over it. That's probably what Martin is.

Get it in your beer. He's probably drinking Dr. Pepper. Martin. Uh-oh. Hey, he says I'm 40 now. I'm letting go of all things. I'm going to go one time, baby. Everything he let go in his 30s to make better decisions.

He said now that he's 40, Waffle House, Dr. Pepper. It's all back on the menu. He's smoking Winston's again. Oh, wait, that was you. Be like me and Phil when Kay showed up with a case of Coke. Drink every one of them. Drink every one of them. Well, let's take a break because Martin's pulling up, I think.

All right. Let's take a break and then we'll get Martin in here. Hey, don't go anywhere. We got to talk about his birthday. Don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere, don't change the job. And a few other things, because our good friend got engaged. Wait a minute.

We'll tell you, we'll tell you when Martin's here. Wait a minute. All right. Now, what's all this news? Martin's here. What's all this news you got? Okay, I'm sorry. Martin's in the house.

All right. Happy birthday, Martin. Si took over this podcast. We started without you. For that, we apologize. Don't apologize to me. Hey, you know how he's his. We all know who's the star.

Don't apologize. Well, and we all had different times we were supposed to be here. So. Hey. Well, I just got here as quick as I could. Yeah. We're doing swim refresher lesson. Oh, we're back going to throw in your kids in the water.

Yeah, they're fine. But they enjoy it now. It's just we don't have a pool, so, you know, you can pay. There's a drive. Yeah, it's fine. It's a drive, and they're building a meta center, and these dump trucks got everything around here screwed up. This is true.

It's fine. I made it. We're here. Well, in the words of Stevie Wonder, I'd like to say something to you. Uh-oh. Happy birthday. to you. Happy birthday to you.

That's the best version of happy birthday. That's a good one. Big 40, man. Martin, Justin Alexander McIntosh Martin. Yeah, there you go. I just realized. Is your middle name Alexander?

It's Lee. I just realized I have no idea what Martin's little name is. Lee. I'm a man with three first names. Me too. Alexander. Alexander Robertson. No.

That's probably why I subconsciously went with Alexander. Yeah. But oftentimes when I don't know somebody's last name, I just guess. Yeah, visually, very generic. I feel like I should know that. How was your birthday? My birthday? Yeah.

I mean, we worked till 7 o'clock last night from in Duck Dynasty. We, uh, I mean, you know, we're on till 7 tonight after we get done here. But you'll be with. style evening. Oh, it's fine. I'm not, look, if there is a person who doesn't want a celebration, it's this guy. So, like, I don't, just, let's just keep rolling as he is. Ken, okay. On that note, you're welcome. Oh, I don't canceling the, of not having a lakehouse available. Well, your wife, your wife was going. She was trying to come up with 1,800 different surprises.

She ran into a lot of roadblocks, but I was like, I don't think this is a problem. What are y'all talking about? Oh, she was trying to have a major blowout surprise. Yeah, for me, which I appreciate her wanting to celebrate me. But at the same time, like, I'm cool, man. Well, no, no, I just don't, I don't ever need a celebration. Like, I never, even as a kid, like, my parents would be like, what kind of birthday party you want? I'm like, I don't.

I don't. You don't like the attention, or what is it? Yeah, I mean, it's, really? We don't know I'm an introvert. We don't know I'm an introvert by now. Hey, it's a lot of trouble. The last thing I want to be is the center of attention at something. So I do it on the weekend speaking and sharing about Christ,

but that's because I feel like that's a bigger purpose. That's not about me. So, I mean, I may be the people that, I may be the person that gets people to come to it, but the message is not about me. So that I'm totally comfortable with. But if it's just about me, no, no, no, heck no. Uh-uh.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Tell them. So, okay. Well, I appreciate everybody's thoughts and our fans are great. Man,

I had so many birthday wishes yesterday on social. I tried to respond to them and then I got shut down because they thought I was spaming people. That's awesome. I guess people don't normally respond to those people. But if you take the time to, like, tell me something, I will most of the time, if I have time,

respond. And because of the revival, you spend a lot of time sitting. So I had time. and then it shut me down for spamming people. So just for saying thank you for wishing me for your birthday. Say does it all the time. Oh yeah.

You know he does. Putsch his little disco guys out there. Happy. But, you know, unfortunately tomorrow yesterday won't be remembered for my 40th. No, no, no. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey had to go get engaged on my 40th birthday. That's who got engaged. We were going to make side guests.

Oh, I already knew it. I've seen it. Okay, but somebody more important. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a bigger one than that. Hold on. Are they in this room? They have been.

It's not Hunter. No, he thought it was Hunter. And I was like, oh, man. No, no, no. We're so far from that. Oh, Hunter, if you get hit. Hunter, Hunter, how far away are you? Six months.

I don't know. He ain't far from a baller's game, boys. You might want to get paperwork involved because right now a simple text and that's over. Well, I'm just saying they're 13 hours away still, so they got some figuring out. Yeah, they do. They do. reassessing in six months. Yeah, there you go.

They got some distance that they got to figure out. Anyways, the only reason Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey got engaged is because they felt the need to one up. Yeah. Our friend. Who? Mr. John Christ. Oh, really?

Finally made at Life of Lid. Oh. She finally made him an honest man, I guess. There we go. Happy for those two. All right. Absolutely. John's getting married.

He texted us while they were on a trip, and I kept texting him. I said, did you bring your engagement ring? And I legitimately had no idea. I just like to make people that are old and should have been engaged right now, feel the pressure. Yeah. Get a cigar band. It'll work. A cigar band.

It's just a touch bigger than a cigar band. I just, I'm going to say it. What? John Chris did a better job than Travis Kelsey. Both of them would be out of my price range to pull off on the whole engagement party, flowers and everything everywhere. but I got to give it to my boy.

Well, I'm a little upset. We weren't invited to either, you know? I understand Travis Kelsey not invited me because I don't think I'd like him as a person, but I'm friends with John. Oh, Kelsey. And we're quasi responsible for that happening. I feel like every text I sit in the last three months

was, why don't you stop being lazy and ask the woman to marry you? I didn't even know. Just so everybody knows, I am willing to scout my tickets. to their ceremony. Just that's a John joke if you. We will see.

I'll sell them. If I get one. Love word there for sale, baby. RSVP. I love Mr. Chris that much. I'm willing. I will make Allison stay home and you can ride with me.

We'll start the bidding at $5,000. Congratulations. Yeah. Friend of the podcast. Unfortunately for him, though, that means if she goes somewhere with him now, he has to buy her plane ticket. So they've been on separate,

they've been on a separate plane ticket for a while now. About time, John. Hey, actions have consequences. There you go. And a wedding rings. Hey, that's a little big one. There's a lot of them. Yeah.

That's a big one, boys. If I had to give one knock, I'd say that she's an Arkansas Razorback. But other than that, what's wrong with Razorback? She said, well, I told him, I said, this would be the best marriage of your life. She's used to disappointment, man. Best marriage. You will always be able to one up. And if you know, she's a Razorback fan.

She's used to being at the top and never making it. So it's fine. go Arkansas, Woo Pig, all the thing. I know a lot of y'all are from here. Listen to us. I've called the hogs before. Have you?

Yep. When I was at Harding, I was like, I'll bite. I will be an Arkansas fan with y'all for a little bit. Yeah. Were you disappointing?

Yeah, they didn't. They were not good. Look, Travis Kelsey just got all the weight lifted off his shoulders. He'd been dating arguably the most eligible bachelor up.

35-year-old woman in all of the world, one would say. I guess he finally got comfortable with a sad song being about him if this goes awry. Oh, it's going to be rude. I wonder if that's in their pre-nup. I wonder whose pre-nup was bigger. Yeah.

They, hey, that. I will write a song. Taylor Swift's pre-nup is bigger than any book Travis Kelsey's ever read. I will, I will write a soul after we break up. No, they're not going to break up. We'll write one for you. And I say that because, as annoying as I find all this, information just because I like football and don't care about Taylor Swift.

I think his brother and his brother's wife are genuinely fantastic people, and they got a good example right there beside them. Oh, well. Of people in the spotlight that I think they can pull it all. I hope they make it too because they reach more people than most. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if anybody that reaches more.

That's what I'm saying. So, like, they, I mean, I hope that they show what a good marriage can be that, you know. Vegas line is three years under our- Is it really? Yeah. That's so sad. Three years. That is the saddest thing I've ever heard maybe in my life. Are you serious?

I mean, in a world where now you can bet on anything, I bet. I've never been sadder. I think I say that's true. Okay. I mean, what is? Vegas should have to be a show. that is true. Are you taking the over or under?

Well, no, I'm just saying, no. Taylor, oh my goodness. No, they're going to make it. They ain't, oh, damn, right. Yeah, but how much money you won't put on it. They're going to make it. It's easy to say. They got bets on who's going to be the best man.

That's going to be homie. It's got to be Jason. Yeah, he's very low odds. They got places where it's going to be. Oh, Lord. You can bet. on where they're getting married. Oh.

Oh, we need John Chris to do this and we'll be millionaires. What a time to be alive, man. Like, you can bet on all those things. What a time to be alive. How many outfits she's going to wear? Oh, God. The over and a second and a half. That's going to be extravagant.

You think? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you think she's going to go conservative on us? No. I would hope so. I don't know. No, she ain't going conservative.

I don't know. Oh, no, it's got to be a big deal. You know, it's a love story. You like J-Lo. Maybe just say, yes. I'm ashamed of America that we're betting on when they'll break up. Uh-uh. I can't handle this right now.

No, that's, hey, they're going to make it. Hey, I wouldn't put money on that. Hey, if you were being, okay, or being human. But I believe it. Always look at a bad time. Yeah, but how much do you believe it? Probably 100 bucks worth. There you go.

Well, then put 100 on the whole. And hey, it'll be a hundred tears when they don't make it. That people out there actively rooting against them. I know it. Isn't that terrible? That's awful. Hey, they can't decide what's going to happen, but they can make money off of it. Don't be negative.

Go positive, boy. But don't put your money on it. I will say, that's how you know you're at a different level. When your wedding is bed on, that's... You've arrived. You, yeah. You've arrived. Yeah.

Have you, though? I thought face on underwear was kind of a... big deal that ain't it boys if when you have a handle page on your nuptials that's that's that's that's big time nobody had uh justin martin britney martin over under three and a half years hey congratulations by the way and if you bet on the under shame on you come on that we uh we got the all year's square away oh oh there are people that could hedge this bet though that's what's sad what that like you could you could swing this in your favor like if you're take the under and like all the things right like it's a there's a wild deal what a time to be alive yeah

why would you do that i couldn't because people are sick i couldn't reasonably bed because that just feels so bad i feel wrong just talking about it because somebody right now is googling it yeah that's a problem and taking the other somebody's like okay my favorite part is that philip already knew it because philip did you like to bet on sports no I don't. I don't, I don't ever. But I do know the lines. And it is fun and interesting.

Because everybody me and I hangs out with, they are betting on it. Yeah. But we are not. I'm going to need to know what the scuttle butt is at the poker table on the over under of their marriage. That would be our next discussion. Oh, hey, when Al said he was going to lose 60 pounds by 60. Yeah.

I was not taking the over. Hey, it was three to one. If you had to put up 30 that he would lose it. Who is this bookie here to be? These guys we played cards with. And look, Jay's lost. Oh, no. I'll put money up on my brother.

Loser. Hey, no. I told him, I said, hey, I'll cover all bet. He'll lose it. And he didn't, but now he did. Oh, he did. Yeah, but the bet was over, sigh. He didn't do it in the time frame.

Yeah, he didn't do 60 by 60. That sounded good. But he looks great. Oh, Al looks great. No, I don't know the day when he come up here and then baptize that young lady. Mm-hmm. What is it?

What is Philip showing? What is the world? Oh, what these new smiles is going to look like? For real? I'm next door. What's up, Jay? I heard somebody call me a loser, so I know one thing it's not. It's not about playing cards.

No, this was a bet on, when you bet on Al. This is what you bet on Al. Come back. Hey, come back and defend yourself. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Jason Robertson and out, like a flashing line. He's gone. Uh-uh. Don't talk about his poker playing.

Boy, we just got a whole. new vibe in here because I did not know that was allowed to happen. I'm on whole court again. Hey, is it fair if we do that to them? Can we stand outside their door and listen? Sir, their podcast is much more serious. I heard you say salvation. Well, yes, that's a good thing.

Keep going, I'm ashamed. You tell the people about Jesus. We need more of that. Meanwhile, Travis Kelsey, anybody, three and a half years. I was actually wanting to ask Jase what he would take the over or the other. Hey, I want to know. Jace has researched it and has his bet placed if anybody. Yeah, and he's got a story to tell.

Hey, look, we're going to drill a hole through the wall. Or we can talk. Jason, what's your take on Kelsey and, you know, Taylor Swift? Our Canadian friend, Beth, is back in. Beth, you taking the over or under on three years? Is Taylor Swift Canadian? No, but Beth is. I was just getting an outside perspective.

Yeah, we're getting the line here for Beth. What's everyone else saying? I'm saying we should all be ashamed of ourselves. We're all rooting for the over. But none of us are confident enough to live. like cash down. Yeah, I am confident. But we are rooting for the over.

We're actively rooting for them to be a positive example of marriage in America. Yes. Amen. That is what we're rooting. They'll be the roll. How old is? See, because all three of us were born in 1989. Who?

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. Oh, I feel like I haven't done enough. 89? I best say, did you just do the, I turn 40. So I was not 89 when you said I was like, what? No, me, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. y'all are all born in 80s. If you guys need marriage advice, come see me and Allison.

We'll hook y'all up. Also, we're very cheap, like a couple hundred thousand dollars a day. That's it. Yeah. You can afford it. You can afford it. We need a new pizza oven, but we will cook you going on what we have. This is what I got to say.

Nothing. I just figured you'd like one in a wall. Game on you for putting these odds up. I don't disagree with that, but it is crazy. It is crazy that we live in a time where that is able to be gambled. upon. That is absolutely. He's going to have the biggest

nuptial contract. The biggest pre-nup. You read them? I couldn't read that whole book. That thing's going to be so big. What is she worth, Johnny D? I don't know. The internet doesn't know.

They will estimate. The internet says $1.6 billion, which is a whole lot more than $1 billion. It's like 600 million more. Yeah. That's a big. Yeah, that's a big hill. And there's a major difference between a mm and a bu and a bu.

You know what the difference between a million and a billion is? A billion. A billion. It's a B, bu, bu, bu, but, but, but, but. Well, good news is that means she can build golf courses. He's got one point. Supposedly, you can't build a golf course unless you start with a B. You can build that one over in Monroe. 600 mil.

Hey, hey, sigh. The internet says that your net worth is $8 million as of 2025. Eight million. million. I'm uncomfortable. I would pay more than that. I better go talk to my CPA. I'd pay more than that for you though if like there was a ransom. Yeah. I'd try to figure out a way to... I better talk to my CPA. $50 million. How do you think you got, Chesa Clinton? Yeah. Cyware Fitty. I don't know where it'd come from, but I could...

Taylor Swift. Yeah, I'd have to call. 20 million and 20s. I'd have to slide in there and try to figure out how to pay it to get him back. What is the ransom value of Cy Robertson? Can I hear 25, 35, 35? It actually, you know what it depends on? A Hyundai. Is this pre-teeth or post-teeth operation? Is this the original or the remick? The remick.

Oh, yeah, Martin. After he gets his teeth, we're headed to Ramos. We're getting a haircut. Are you going to get a chain or something? Jacob needs to be here because we're going to tell me we're going back to vintage year. Yes. Look, okay, that's it. We're going back to the vintage years and, hey, they're going to put me back.

Yeah. Like I used to be. It's a duck call room makeover. So what we're going to do, we're going to have the good folks of Springfield innovations. Innovative dental, we've said it 100. They're going to do his teeth. Five stars. Russell's not allowed to touch his hair, although he's been on the podcast because, well, he's not a good-looking woman,

but Russell's going to find us one that's allowed to touch his hair. And then we're going to have Jacob vintage clothing you out, and we're going to have just model sigh. Can my request be that the haircut's done in here? Oh, yeah, no. I already said we can go to Russell's. He goes, no, they'll come here. It ain't a haircut. It's a trim.

It's just a trim. We will. We will do that. We can do a podcast like that. Also, am I allowed to sweep up your hair and sell on eBay? Yes. No, no, no, because that was already my idea. Crap.

Now, I thought you wanted his old teeth. You wanted his teeth. Okay, but once you call a man's teeth, you also get his hair. That's a rule. I don't know what book is. Hey, if you want beard hair, just go to my truck. It's full of size beard. And then, hey, and then Dr. Jekyll and Hyde can take my teeth and get it a monster.

Okay, no, that's gross. We're going to sell them one at a time, like chicklets. Anyways. I don't know what I'm going to do. Sa without glasses and a full set of teeth. No glasses, full set of teeth. Are we going to a drive-in after? And we hadn't even brought up the Botox that he's getting.

I bet our friend Kelsey that works at Ramos will do it. Yeah, she'll come here. When is the teeth procedure? The end of October, he's going to get it done, and he'll have his healing teeth in. Wear those for six months. Go back and get the permanent. The first set is the healing teeth. Then I'll go back later after the healing teeth if don't what they're supposed to do.

That's right. Then they'll take impressions again, do a lot more x-rays. Permanent. Make sure that it fits and feels good. Oh, it's wild. This sounds pain. It's not going to be painful. The man is a, Doc is an engineer.

Martin, I'm going to give him this. I'm serious. Have you ever seen somebody on Google Maps with five stars? They got it. And it's not like, 4,000 something. Oh, wow, and it's a 5. It's not even a 4.9.

It's 5. Wow. Hey, I ain't even find a church that's 5 stars. In Springfield, Missouri. A lot of work to be. done up there, to be fair. A lot of practice. I would say it's a target-rich

environment. Does he do Johnny Morris' teeth? Got to. But look, these guys, look like Donald Duck with teeth. Hey, these guys do it all. From general to specialty.

Yep. It's a bit of a commute for me. They do all of it. Do it all. What are you talking about? Just with teeth or like all body parts? No, teeth. Just with teeth.

They put your finger back on. Everything's in-house. You know. Nothing in there's about teeth. It's like a resort. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, wild. Is there anything you've been dodging eating because of it?

Or not on the car. No. Yeah, I said, no. You eat it all in you. I eat it all anyway. That's why they keep falling out. Hey, on the way there. No, why they keep falling out.

He said the name of it, but I don't know what the name of it. Gingervitis. It's about the bone structure. It's actually going down. Oh, so you got a little bit of osteoporosis. Yeah, osteoporosis. I thought it was in your ankles. That's your whole, that's just the decay of bone.

It doesn't matter where it is. It's not real bad because mine, he said I was the perfect candidate for what he's doing. So yours are still strong enough to hold it. I'm going to say this. It's not as high it used to be because that's why a lot of them, they got loose and they're so loose. I actually think this guy's brilliant.

Because he's like, if I make side look like Donald Duck, I'm going to, people are going to come from far and why. Well, I think they're trying to reach people, too, that, you know, are... They feel like it's over. Fans with Sae. I would have never thought Si could have his teeth fixed. And he's the perfect candidate. I never thought I'd even imagine doing it until somebody come up and said, okay, I'll do it for you.

I just hope now that every time that he smiles, Hunter, here's what I want you to do. When we catch him on this podcast, smile, I want you to put a little star. Ding! Like, every time. Just... And I also want to see how long it takes. gallons and gallons of unsweet tea to stain sedent. Oh, that's so rude.

That's rude. What's the under over? No, no, because doctor told me, he said, you ain't going to have to worry about it. Have whitening her in your toothpaste and all that. He said, they'll be white. Don't worry about it. Well, I know that, but, I mean, you drink so much tea, like, so much.

I've seen what it does to stainless steel. Well, hey. And it's called stainless. Yeah. But that ain't stainless. You have stained You have stained stainless still Which is impressive because it's right there in the name of it

Yeah So that's why I'm just I mean the sheer amount that you Well when hey you keep you keep tea in it all the time That's what I'm talking about Yeah It's gonna stain it Yeah oh I agree

Well if you keep good tea in it all the time If you make it dark enough Where it's good tea it definitely will I'm gonna go get some tea after this No no y'all's tea is the best there is So yeah Oh, sweet tea, baby. I'm fish.

Hey. Yep. I just keep sneaking in them ads today, y'all. You know how good that ad's going to look, Dary? And I hope you're watching this. We love our sponsors. We need more. Head on over to duckstep.com when you're done getting your tea.

I consider myself an export on two things. Uh-oh. What could it be? Sleep and tea. Sleep and tea. I thought you were going to say love. No. Well, that's the third one.

That's a throw-in. Everybody just already knows that. Everybody knows that. I'm trying to think in the last. the last year of size life he's got new air conditioner new roof now he's getting new teeth he's getting his truck fixed where he ran it into a bridge new eyeballs he got his truck to the shop new haircut jacob you really are planning on making it to a hundred are he is hey i am he's on his way you're really on those that keep asking how many times we're episodes

we're going to do this okay doc run me through the x-ray machine we're just getting started here in the Then, hey, jack this old body of him. And run the new one of it. He got new lungs. And once you get new teeth, you'll be easier to AI. So, like, one day it'll just be fake sigh over here, and I'll be like, you could unveil them at John Chris Wedden. Ah.

If we time this right, six months of healing, then he gets the real. With John, there you go. We need at least eight months. Well, it took them eight years to get engaged, so you got plenty of them. Eight months aren't bad. But they're the kind, too. It wouldn't surprise me if they just, next week they're married that's true like you take that long why go to big big extravagant

a route just hey go find you a justice to speak tired of not say hey get that justice in tea goes hey that big that big old party and you're going to spend a bunch of money side would you be willing that won't keep you together side would you be willing to do their ceremony oh yeah i can see that with your new teeth and new haircut and new clothes if it were what if it was side theo vaughan up they're doing their ceremony. So I got new teeth, Theo, got that hair, whatever's going on there. Redneck Central, baby. Oh, man.

Are we ready? Yeah, hey, this was kind of a supersized episode because I just started early. We hope you enjoyed it. I had the time of my life. Martin, I wish you were here. Good luck, Hunter. Does this go out tomorrow night? Yeah, actually.

Hey, no. You got a full day ahead of you. I feel like this one's pretty well. Just send out all of it. Give the fans a little extra. and I'm going to give our good friends John, Lydia, Travis, and Taylor. Okay. A little advice on marriage.

Colossians. 314. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We got to talk about the blind real fast. The blind. Yeah. Oh, hey, yeah, the movie, the blind. I don't know if you've ever really just been dying to see an extra do an awesome job,

but this is your chance. No, I'm just kidding. If you want to see the greatest look at Mallor Drake you've ever seen in the first seven seconds, it's there, boy. It is there. I know because I killed him. He killed him. For real, the blind is out in theaters this weekend

to honor Phil and everything he's done for so many people. I was actually in a truck for a long time and we actually talked about Phil for a little while and I tried to come up with somebody I'd ever met that had impacted more human beings than Phil Robertson. Nope. And I'm not going to do that.

And I was like, I think like, it's crazy, the amount of people he preached to. And so you can go this weekend and see his life play out and everything that was awful and bad. And it's a bad thing. It would actually be great required watching for our newly, our newly betrothed or engaged couples. And then you see a full redemption. You see just how hard marriage can be. And it ends up with seeing just how great it can be. And if you've got a friend that would never go to the church building, take them to this movie.

You know? Because it's the story about every man and every struggle. And you get to see how good and bad kind of work against each other. Yeah. And Jesus is victorious in the end. And if you come, and if you are on your way down for Duck Commander Sunday listening to this, we hope you have safe travels and we will see you Sunday as well here right on site. Oh, yeah.

We're at Duck Commander. We'll be here Sunday. And if you want to go see a large gar. Gar. Gar hole. We're going to weigh a bunch of gar out on the river. It's a bunch of car. Beth is sending me a text message right now to tell me what to say.

Theblindmovie.com. I was going to say where to get tickets. Theblindmovie.com, go there and you can figure out how to get tickets. It'll be a good time. And, hey, maybe you're in a place where your marriage sucks. Maybe you're in a place where you're just now engaged like our friends. This verse is perfect for it. Colossians 314.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together. in perfect unity. If you want perfect unity, you got to put on love first, foremost, every day. And if you go see the blind, that's not what Phil was doing, but Kay still chose to do it. Even whenever some people were saying, leave it. It's over. Kay said, I'm still going to love him, even if that's from a distance for a while. And when he comes back, I'm going to love him. And the world was changed. Amen. Because of that. So, Colossians 314, put on love, change the world. See y'all next time here in the duck call room. We're out.

Happy birthday, Martin. Thanks, pal. Martin!