Duck Call Room - Justin Martin’s Birthday Gift Immediately Sets Uncle Si Off

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

Martin’s birthday gift immediately has Uncle Si’s Big Brother paranoia spiraling out of control. John-David mines Si’s vast resource of home remedies for all sorts of embarrassing personal problems, but his and Phillip’s beard-growth suggestion may be a step too far. Si reminds everyone of the trigger-happy self-defense clause he works into all his contracts, and the boys lift up a young lady in prayer who was recently faced with a difficult diagnosis. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These are good. What's it? Strawberry? Banana. Banana. They're like oatmeal cream pies. They're like oatmeal cream pies, but not as good. I don't like oatmeal is the weird part, but oatmeal cream pie sure does it to check it.

Yeah. Well, this banana cookie ain't bad. So what were you eating a banana cookie? Yeah. That was soft. Hmm. Well, it ought to be soft as fresh. fresh from the little debby factory fresh to death let's do this we're good oh do we whatever

why care now welcome back to the duck call room ladies and gentlemen hey we started before right when he says what do we walk here now and just go we don't know what we're gonna talk about martin but why care now i know i we're we're we're yeah i don't know what are you doing down there, man. Trying to think. I don't, I know what Siah probably wants to talk about, but I don't know how far down political roads we can go. Oh.

See? See, that's what I'm talking about. So I figured you'd know more about this than I do. I ain't going to watch it or read. I'm going to one day play the campaign on Call of Duty in like 15 years. Yeah. There you go. Could you imagine going to bed in your Nike sweatsuit, which just so we're clear.

You got one just like it? I wish I did because if I ever do. get abducted and taken to a different country and they post me all over social media, I want to look that good doing it. That was a cool fit he had going on, as the kids would say. Yeah, I bet they let him get dressed, though. He probably said, you know, give me a second.

Let me find out of it. Don't nobody go to bed in a jumpsuit, do they? But, but. In Venezuela? They didn't hot down there. I mean, when the helicopters are like, that's not like a, would you like to put on your socks? That's what.

You got to put them on and then run out. Well, you get extradited. There was a lot of fireworks display going on. When Delta Force shows up, there's no like, hey. You got five minutes. Quick, I got my old dunks on, not my new ones. Let me switch shoes. Well, I would imagine, though, if you're accustomed to that life, you're probably always

ready to go. You probably got a go bag. Pack. Yeah. Like, instead of people having stuff packed to go to the hospital to have their kid, probably like, you know what, I'm probably going to end up in jail one day. Let me have me, let me know how I want to look at my mugshot, man. Let me check this out.

I mean, he probably didn't plan on being in jail in the United States of America, but, you know, hey, play dumb games, win dumb prizes, all I got to tell you. That's a tough one. Yeah. Is Venezuela in the World Cup? Not anymore. I bet they are.

They're normally decent. I think it got taken from them. No. Huh? The World Cup, not like is the soccer thing. The soccer game, Philip. Not whatever you think it may be. I'm joking.

Let me see. Not NATO. Hey, I went to my first Moschism game. Oh, no, they're not in. They're not in. Venezuela is not in the World Cup. Johnny Deat, I went to my first moccasin game. Any good fights?

Yeah, we saw one good fight. It, Cy, you would love it. You need to go to a moccasins hockey game. Oh. Monroe Moxins. Hey. Oh, they have rubber snakes they play with there. That's true.

I'm going Saturday with the 4-H club. Man, it's watch. Oh, yeah. Martin got a new watch. Ladies and gentlemen. and Martin went. Martin got a new watch for his birthday today. I'm going to have to read the manual because this thing vibrates nonstop.

Well, I told you that it's got far too much information on it that you want. Yeah, I got to figure out. Because I recently switched up my health tracking watch, which makes me look stupid because I can't decide which watch to wear. So for about 11 days now, your Johnny Two watches? I'm just going with it and seeing what happens. Johnny Two watches.

See if anybody makes fun of me or if it's like I'm just weird enough to pull it off. Well, one of them is Rolex. I can't nobody say a whole lot. Well, you could. I look ridiculous. But this one counts my steps and my oxygen levels. This thing can,

can, like, track your heartbeat. What's your heart rate right now? Oh, right now? What is your oxygen level? I can tell you. You want to find out yours? Yeah, I've got a thing I put on my fingers. Yeah, this is one that you do on your wrist.

There's so many buttons on these watches, though. Anyway, Martin called me. He's like, hey, what watch you got? And I said, there's way too much stuff on it for you to like it. Mm-hmm. But here we are. You're a little scary to me. There's a light.

That's scary. There's a light going off. Yeah. Johnny D's watch. It's so complicated. Because there's too much. Way too much. Way too much.

Why is it too much? Way too much. You ought to have 30 cell cameras out there taking pictures of ducks and deer if you want to talk about too much. My wrist has not quit vibrating since I put. Here we go. Here we go. Please make sure your wrist is snug.

and currently on the right wrist sit comfortably place your th-oh wait no i'm doing it can yours do it do what mine's got heart rate right now what's yours right now 82 82 what's it now what's it now it was interrupted oh wait i'm doing it wrong oh no look look you can watch my heart rate watch it sigh look at it It's going to be like a doctor's office right here on my wrist. I'm never going to the doctor again. I don't see the little red heart pumping. That's a piece of junk.

I messed it up, man. I hate it's a piece of junk. Si, you nailed it. These boys. We got to get Cy Garmin watch. Hey, it's got GPS. We can track you. Oh.

All right. Hey, I've already got that right here. I know, but what if you forget your keys? Look. Oh, I'm not going to forgive my keys, but I've got to have it to drive my truck. Look, sigh, look. Oh man, my heart's all over the place. This isn't good.

Oh, there we go. Now it's normal. Now you got, now you've got some little spikies. Well, yeah, it's called your heartbeat. Yeah. The little spikies are. Yeah, the little spikies going up and down. How long have you had this watch?

Like an hour or hours. Oh, my goodness. Those are, sure. No wonder. He can't leave it alone. I think this microphone's messing it up. Oh, now it's normal. That's scary for one reason.

If I put that on my wrist, it's not able to kill me. Why would it kill you? Because, hey, me and technology does not get along. And you imagine size of watch just dog-tussing them in the airport? Y'all was always asking me about my phone. Somebody said, hey, you got your cell phone? I said, that would be a big goose egg, no. Apparently sitting here talking into a can makes your heart rate go up. Oh, yeah, for sure. Anything makes your heart. So this is technically. Well, hey, look, you know why? You know why? You know why that does that? Why? You're not high enough, Martin. You know why it does that?

Why? You're being monitored. Ah. Think about that. Uncle Sam is watching boys. Wow. I thought you were a big fan of Uncle Sam. Hey, well, I served him about 24 and a half years.

I guess I am a friend of his. There you go. And we do have a... Maybe he's a friend of mine. We do have an in-studio audience today. Yes, we did. It's one. It's one.

Yes, we did. That's an audience. I don't forget your name. Race. Race. Race. Is he a veteran? Like car race?

He's an active. No, he's not a veteran because he's still in. Oh, okay. Well, no, he's a veteran and he's serving. He's active. He's a active duty. He's an active veteran. Active.

Yeah. From the Navy. See, I'm a retired veteran. Go Navy beat Army. And the Navy. Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. Whoa. Navy did beat Army.

Navy did. Navy been beating everybody. Oh, yeah. They beat whoever else they played. Hey, they got a good team this year. Yep. Maybe he does. They always do.

They always got a scary good team. The Army always rolling around there about 60s. Well, hey, look, we jump out of airplanes too much. Yeah. Black nights jump out of airplanes. It affects the brain. Huh? Who went to Venezuela, everybody?

Probably a little bit there. Well, no. That would be our Delta Force. Probably the best of each of them. No, that ain't talking about Delta planes. That was a good Chuck Norse movie. Wasn't he in Delta? All right.

What are you talking about? Yeah, he was in Delta. in it. Yeah, that's what, yeah. Yeah. That's one of his better ones. Yeah. Is that when he was in a little like inflatable boat that had the teeth drawn on it?

Yeah, that was it? Huh? Or was that missing an action. That's the old movie. Hey, you got to have teeth thrown on it. Oh, yeah. You got. Johnny D.

Y'all didn't watch the movies growing up. Like Delta Force missing in action. The Delta Force came out three years before I was no. What is that? Got them teeth. Big teeth. That big gather. Yeah, who I was in Delta Force?

Now I need to know. I can't remember. Chuck Norris. Lee Marvin. Was the main star? Yeah. Was Lee Marvin in it? Lee Marvin was in it.

I don't know. Lee Marvin wasn't in old Delta. I'm literally looking at it right here. The dirty dozen. Did it say that? Lee Marvin? Yes. Throw it on the screen.

Hold on. There's all sorts of stuff on this. I didn't know Lee Marvin was in Delta. Chuck Norris was Scott and Lee Marvin was Nick. What? There you go. Obviously. I got to go back and watch it.

Well, he's been all the rest of them. so hey, why not? I do like Lee Marvin. Yeah. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking.

And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Tritels beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sal Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from.

But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic. hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat eater, folks.

Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. You know what's so crazy about that? Is that... That's just a movie. Indiana Jones? That really happens in real life.

Except for all the muzzle flashes. Yeah, and the missing. Once somebody goes brr-dr-dr-that people are out, man. They don't keep shooting back. They don't shoot like stormtroopers and miss every other time. That boys are accurate. Oh, this is, I was just to say, this is not make-believe. Not even close.

Yeah, Stormtroopers can't. and nobody. Really? They're the worst. Either Harrison Ford is the most agile human being on earth. Which we all know that can't be the case. I mean, he's really cool, though. Or everybody that's ever shot at Indiana Jones or Han Solo or Crossout.

That is the only logical explanation as to how Harrison Ford made it out of so many movies. There you go. You think his friends call him Harry? I don't think so. He's scary. Scary Harry. I mean, he's got to have a name. They don't just want, hey, Harrison.

Harrison. Who does that? You don't say, hey, Harrison. I think he's not by Harrison. Or do you think I would just call him Mr. Ford? I would definitely call him Mr. Ford. For Mr. Jones. Ford.

How old is he? He's Carter's favorite actor in the world now. Yeah, I found that up. He is. I'm going to guess he's 81. 83. 83. Is he really?

You got to admit. Oh, I should have asked him. Wow. He's older than science. Who's his favorite president? You know who's my husband? favorite president is yes we do no no it ain't no not the current one okay no i don't no i don't um oh what ronald ragan taft he wasn't going i'm gonna say sigh is uh oh thank i'm going with taft

rover cleveland hey nope thank a west teddy roosevelt that's it teddy A rough rider bag. Got a cool name. Theodore had a good mustache. Hey. Yeah. Plus, he was a man that said what he said and meant what he said. Okay.

He was one of them. So what does that mean? He said what he said and he meant what he said. Well, hey, most of them, you know, just blow smoke. Not Ted. Teddy said it. He's coming, buddy. He's like a, what was that, Valdez?

Valdez is coming. Yeah, Val, he's like that movie Valdez. You can book it. Hell, Des is coming. Oh, what's he bringing with him? I'd be on Tombstone. He's bringing hell with him. You tell him I'm coming.

And hell's coming with me, baby. There you go. Hey. You got there. No. There you go. Hey. Did Teddy have a bunch of good one-liners?

Oh, hey. Hey, Teddy went up the, you know, San Juan Hill on horses, him and his men. Hmm. He was the leader of the rough riders. kind of like Mike Tomlin yeah anything it's got to do with guns and horses I thought you were going rough riders

I thought that was DMX right yeah I didn't stop now Mike Tomlin did you see the I'll tell you who he was the Steelers game Roosevelt it's just like Clint Eastwood

oh okay he was one that clean Eastwood's you copy that's a rough rider you're still stuck on DMX did you watch hold on Did you watch the Steelers and the Ravens the other night?

Yeah. Last night. You saw him miss that field goal to lose it? Did you see what they asked the Steelers coach? What? They said, well, how would you have felt if he would have made that kick? What did he answer it? Mm-hmm.

What did you say? He said, how would I have felt if he made that kick? Well, what if my uncle had girl parts? Not. Not. He'd be my aunt. Did he really? No, he said, no, I back.

He goes, well, if my aunt had boy parts, and she'd be my uncle, but what ifs ain't really what I'm into. Is this ain't what if? Is this a true story? 100%. Yeah. White Tomlin gives the greatest. Yeah, we ain't into what if, buddy.

It's a lie. And it's at this point Hunter goes to sleep. Yeah, Hunter's long gone. Hunter's over there Googling anime characters. Hunter's trying to figure out where stranger things vibe all the way wrong. Here's the thing about, I'll tell you. Here's the thing about football right now. Go ahead.

The talent is so. spread out. Good. Oh, the talent is so elevated. Everywhere. You know, the bowls have been

showing that. The bowls. The bowls are going to the, I'm talking about the last second on the clock and they were winning

when they're down seven points and they got the five seconds to play. Unpopular opinion. Get rid of bowl games. Get them out of here. Get rid of.

I'm with Martin. Get rid of them. Go games are stupid. Oh, I've enjoyed watching them. Take your Pop-Tarts back to the grocery store. Yeah. Keep your cheeses. I'm with these.

I have enjoyed watching them. What, the bowling? Oh, no. No, they're terrible. Oh, hey. It's like a random team. I don't remember the Hoover played. See?

Well, no, no. They're great, though. Trust me. But the whole game was, fabulous team. The whole game was score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score, score, all the way down to the last, like, five seconds. Well, if you want to watch that, watch a basketball.

Oh, no. That's why. And half in, you know, It's different talent. So what happened in the end? The last one with a ball one? Yeah. And you don't remember the team?

Well, I mean to a four touchdown. I'm talking about. Unreal. Hold on, Martin just got to. Hey, look, they both had good offenses and good descends.

Okay, and it went to the wire. Yeah. Those are good games. I made till the last second. I like, I like those games. Oh, no,

I like that camera. Yeah. I don't like to watch a blowout. You know, I mean. Unless it's LSU blowing somebody out. I don't mind that. Well, I enjoy it as a Seahawks.

Martin got a watch. He doesn't like y'all. No, Martin's over here. I enjoy the watch. It just drives me nuts that my wrist continues. I got to read the manual. He's shaking his wrist and it's buzzing. He can't stand the vibration on his wrist.

Johnny D. Send an alert, alert. Stop. Stop. Stop. He's the one just doing it. Stop. Okay.

that's all right. He said it's doing it and I'll just text them over. I like that. That was fun. That was too easy. It was dangerous when he's got the equipment in his hand. See, I've tamed the equipment. You just got my heart rate up to 92 doing that.

I went from 77 up to 92. My heart rate is, I don't know where to find that, but it's on here somewhere. Oh, my goodness, great. That was fun, Martin. I appreciate you allowing me to do that. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Whatever I'm supposed to say.

My heart rate's 68. Oh, crap, it's 6-7. But hey, if I made my prediction. What? Who's going to win it? The Ducks, baby. You're saying it all good. The Ducks.

Okay. Because, I mean, it's easy to pick. Who am I going with? It's easy to pick Indiana. That's even. Well, you mean easy? They're the number one team. They're the number one team in the country.

They've already, didn't they already? No, I don't mean nothing. Nah, I don't mean nothing. I'm taking the you. Really? Yeah. I'm going Miami. That's who I want to win. I have a Miami basketball jersey that I got on sale at Adidas's website.

You need to go to Caesar Moxians. Forget it for me. Hold on. Did my wife buy those tickets? I sound like the fruitcake lady. The moccasins. He was a season ticket holder. I don't think he is anymore.

There's a lot of games. Go back to the snakes playing hockey. Well, they're actual human beings. those snakes playing hockey. Oh, that's snakes. It would be fun to watch. So I wish you would go to a game. No.

Why not? It is fun. They bring rubber snakes. I ain't going. As long as you're not on the ice. Oh, shoot, that game's in like two days. That's like when I went to the snake rodeo. I had them put in the contract that I had the right to kill anybody.

The right to kill. Okay. That brought a snake up, lie a snake up. License to kill. I'm not lasting to kill. You think that contract would have held up in the court of law? Hey, I got it in the contract, son. Well, yeah, they never hold up.

Sir, you shouldn't have signed it. Yeah, he's dead, but still. You shouldn't assign it, boys. Hey. That's a wild. I'm like Trump. When I say some, I ain't just blowing smoke. He ain't just, do you really have that contract?

Yeah. Don't bring a live point to speak to me. That sigh will shoot somebody if they get close to him with a snake. No way. Yeah, it said the contract. And it said not kill. It said that sigh will shoot whoever gets close to him with a snake. And the guy laughed and said, is he serious?

I said, yeah, if you don't sign it, he ain't doing it. And so he signed it and said, yeah. I will say, though, the Munro Mox is on a 12-game winning streak. Yes. We're the kings of- They're slithering around winning. Whatever league of hockey we are in. Do you get to graduate?

What does that mean? No. When this league? Do you go to a better league? What kind of European mumbo-jumbo is that you're talking about? Yeah, they do it in Europe. I didn't know how minor league. You're promoting and relegating people?

I didn't know how minor league hockey went. Well, if we did that, then the Falcons would have ended up in the Arena League a long time ago. Oh. Get you some Atlanta. Falcons joke. There you go. I will go to it one way, Jay-D. Yep.

Let's hear it. Jesus was right there beside. Oh. I was hoping that's that way, hold on. If a snake baby, wouldn't even bother me. But we're two or three are gathered.

He's there, so you might as well go, buddy. Yeah, I'm going with you. You need action. That's why I have to go with, Lord, I need a little help in my disbelief here. I got a little faith,

but I need a lot more if we're going to do that. We're two or three are gathered. There he is also. There's no, there's no Jesus is on the, team. There's a Carlos. You would like the action, though, when they hit up against that big window,

boom, and they start. Philip, have you become a hockey fan? Yeah, I only went to one game. I loved it. Once you go to a hockey game, there's no going back. It gets in your bone. Yeah, it's fun. It's all right for the hockey game.

Huh? It's just like when Ali was boxing. Muhammad Ali. Muhammad Ali. They didn't go to watch the boxing. They went hoping somebody. would be good enough to knock him down. Isn't that boxing?

But hey. They want to see him get beat. No, they wanted to see a fight. Joe Frazier. They didn't go to see the boxing. They went to see the fight. He was so good. He was so good.

They couldn't beat him. Never lost. Who? And it made everybody just, they hated it. Muhammad Ali lost once, didn't he? No. I mean, I hated him. Ali didn't lose.

He was the greatest son. I remember he beat George Foreman. He would tell you. in the jungle. But you know what I never got? A Muhammad Ali grill. Nope. You know what I did have?

What? George Foreman grill. Boom. It's the greatest grill in the East. It wasn't good grill. Yeah. Dr. Dr.

It was a form and grill, baby. Hey. Make you a hot ham and cheese, hamburger. You can just grill chicken. Whatever you want. My buddy made brownies in his. By the way,

Muhammad Ali lost five times. Yeah. Really? That's toward the end there, so I didn't really count. That's when he was strict to get. Yeah. He was in a damn.

He needed the money. He's tired of, you know, beating up on everybody. Ah, he bet against his cell. Took a dive. I don't mind that one. That was a good message. What message you get there? Your Benelli 28-gauge is here for pickup.

All right, Mark. Got what? I got a new 28-gauge. Oh, why? What, 3-5-inch? Three-inch? Mm-hmm. Why did you order me one?

They said they had one for me to try. Sorry. He lost his... Yeah, I know the first. Roken Joe Frazier. I know the wrong people. Yeah. No, you know the right person.

This is a new one. This is a test gun. This one is not production model. Oh. This is a, this is a tested out and give me your feed. Well, the next time I'll go with you,

I'll use it. Yeah, do a little testing. Well, you can go one-handsome jacks. Yeah, I name one-handed. We can go one-handsome jacks. And video it, yeah. Boom.

Well, you got video with a phone, though. That makes it tough. Hey, well, you got to hold the phone. It won't work. Somebody else has to video it. Okay, I'll try. Would you quit texting me? If I get the phone.

It wasn't me. No, it was Philip. It said hello. And then it was an emoji doing this. Because he couldn't just do that in one. Well, that's better than, hey, me opening my phone up and it's giving me just a sound cussing out. Stop. A sound cussing.

Yeah. A sound. Using the bad word, too. I'm talking about it. I heard about that. Hold on. I don't believe this. I scared my wife that day that had happened.

Because I didn't scream, Christine! She said, what now? I said, this phone just cussed me out. And she said, what did you do? I said, there you go. I said, there you go. Just like my bosses in the Army. I don't, I'm not smart enough to do anything with this.

You may have called somebody and they gave you a hot cousin. Oh, this was just a, hey, it was AI in the phone. A-I. It was a sweet, you know. That was before AI was a thing. A.I. was a young lady that had a beautiful voice, but she was giving me the cusset of my life. I'm serious. Hello, Silas. You, sorry.

Oh, no, you blanket it. Hi, sigh. She had a, I don't know that I believe this story. I've heard it many times. There's a lot that I didn't believe, and then I would believe later when I found out. So, Philip, do you believe? I believe what he's telling me. It happened.

Does Johnny D. believe? No. And Tyler Shuck taking us to the, yes, I do. But I don't know what you're trying to do right now, but I don't think I like it. And I will start texting. That's just for our stranger. Our stranger things. It ain't, it's the machines.

I believe. It's a show. AI don't like. Si, do you believe? That's right, Cy. Stop it. Do you believe? Oh, yeah, I believe.

There you go. There you go, Hunter. There's our Instagram clip for the week. Yep. It's everybody, I believe. I wish the monsters would have eaten every one of them kids. What do you believe? That the monsters would have eaten all them kids.

Hey, Clint says we never read emails anymore. Well, hey, we hear your face, Clint. Just read yours. Oh. What did he say? I do have one we're going to do with that. He wanted to give a shout out, and his name's Clint, so. Well, hey, shout out, Clint.

What up, Clint? And then I do have one called beard advice. It's an email from Tyler, who apparently doesn't have a good beard. He's from Hartsville, South Carolina. What is the, I got a question about that. Yeah. What is it that some people can grow beards and then there's others that just can't grow one? Follically challenged.

Thanks, Hunter. Is it, uh, well, that's what Tyler's wondering. He wants to grow a beard. Is it DNA problem? A DNA problem? I would suspect it's all genetics. Well, I think DNA is genetic. Yeah.

I would suspect that it's... He said it's genetic and I said, no, it's DNA. I would suspect. Why do some people have hair and some people don't? Stress. That could be true. That could be true. Well, then why did your hair, pray?

You should still be all full head of hair. We shouldn't see nothing but your eyes. Yeah. You should look like Chibaya. We shouldn't see anything but your eyes. old man. Stress causes it. I got no stress.

I am not stressful. I, I, you know, no. Okay. You, you don't have any stress. No, you're, you're minorly stressful. Well, I was fixed that. Those are around. At the food with me, yeah, they have a lot of stress.

You give Hunter a lot of stress, but. I know. But so does breathe. I used to have a metal thing up here to play with. Hey, he took it away. Yeah, where did that go? Gone. He took it away?

the noise makers left. Yeah. No, he's got, he's still gotta have gone. I used to have a bell. That's gone. That's gone. I used to have the bongo drums. Gone.

Go on. Hey, since I'm not musical and I can't play them. Gone. I moved the vice. Go on the corner. Why did you move the vice? Because it's the one sound I can't edit out. He can't edit out.

He can't edit out. I can edit out pretty much everything else. Every time you hit the table and everything, except that stupid bite. The only thing he got it out and he sleeping too. I was tired that day. It's fine. That's because you're so stressed. Well, as someone with a great head of hair side,

what do you suggest to Tyler on how to grow a beard? Did he send pictures? I'll tell you, this will work. Buy you a lot of razors and shave five times or six times a day. What? You got to wake them up? Hey, just shave every day five, six times. Why?

Because then you'll have a beer. I don't ever shave my back and it's covered in air. Hold on. So to grow a beard, you've got to shave your face. Well, it comes back thicker is what he's saying. You shave it, it comes back thicker. But you need to put peanut butter on your face and sleep in it all night. And then when you...

That's no way that's... Here we go. Yeah. No, you're making that up to make Tyler's seems silly. That's true. That's not true. leave it on sleep in it. Wait, wait, there might be something about it.

That's true. Look, all the time, the real pretty ones? Yeah. Okay, they have a... What about the average ones? No, no. Well, they don't, they don't count. Anyway, hey, they have a cream that they put on their face and go to sleep with it at night.

Peanut butter? Huh? Well, don't know. It makes them look younger and pretty. Okay. Maybe the peanut butter has got to do... You know, with a guy that can't grow a beard. Hey, look, here's my deal on that.

Please. He's got a deal on everything. Somebody take the shovel out of his age. Because he's just digging, son. Take the shovel from it. What did he say last week? I know what it's like to have a baby. It's like a deer shedding antlers.

No, no, I'll give you. Now, I'll give you. Now, the average women don't matter because they don't put mask on while they sleep. No, because I'll give you this story. Alabama women, he said. Jason Robertson has hemorrhoids. Okay. How the heck did we get the hemorrhoids?

No, no. I'm going to get there. Look. And he's always, he was always in the blind. He'd be, oh, my goodness. We'd say, what's wrong? He said, my hemorrhoids act up. And I said, hey, I have got the cure for that.

Okay. I said, fix vapor rub. Yep. On a spoon. Don't put it on your finger That's right Put it on Where you dip it with a spoon

Plastic spoon That way Look Don't want to double dip Hey don't double dip But anyway Yo hey Here's my

Here's my Advice on this If you got something That als you Okay Put peanut butter on your place And hey And the doctors

Have tried everything And it doesn't it It helps If somebody says say, hey, I got a cure for that. You know, I got something that'll help. You might as well try it. Why wouldn't you try it?

Because he told him to rub peanut butter all over his face. No, no. Instead of being over and he goes, oh, he's killing me. Oh, my goodness. He'll have a beard in six weeks. But, hey, one doctor called or text and said, hey, Mr. Robertson is right. Vic's neighbor rub. Oh, we're back on big.

If it's it's it'll make it stop itching. If it's hurting, it'll make it stop hurting. And then, hey, look, if you have trouble doing number two, hey, you'll be like a brand new submarine that's just got loaded with torpedoes. It'll fire them babies out there, hey, you know. Fire, what. Our Navy, man has confirmed. That's what happened.

Our man race over here. I got it. But anyway, hey, y'all, if peanut butter may help you. That's not, you made that, he made that up. And the man is interesting to growing a beard. Hey, look, you got any preferred a bottle? Jiffy. Jiffy, peanut butter.

You are making creamy or crunchy? Yeah. No, the creamy. Creamy part. Chunky and no good. If I put peanut butter on my face and go to bed, you know what's going to happen? Son of a God. I'm going to wake up.

I'm going to wake up with my dog on top of my face. I asked it. I asked the machine and the machines. My dog says, hey, I don't know. get a good clean face because my dog loves peanut butter. Yeah, I'm going to, Jude's going to lick every square into my face clean.

Yes, peanut butter can help with beard growth because it's rich in blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, blah, which nourish hair follicles. Are you making that up? No, I'm reading it. Promote healthy hair,

though eating it is the primary way to get these benefits. Some suggest it is an ingredient in D-Y-D-I-D-Y-D-Y beard mask for moisture. To use it for beard growth, use it regularly as part of a balanced diet or incorporate it into homemade hair mask for conditioning. Check it out and ask them. I ask the machine about, hey, women use it for facial, making their face a lot of younger. Do you have to ask the specific

type of women or can. Tyler, I don't know how we got here. What can ugly women do? I love peanut butter on their face At least a doll to play with them Hey I bet what happened is You used crunchy Instead of cream Hold on Tyler's not a kid

Tyler's like almost my age Tyler's a grown man Tyler Probably use crunchy peanut butter Okay And didn't use creamy peanut butter Tyler Tyler before you smear your face

With peanut butter to grow a beard You're grown man Let that thing and go for like you grow you do what you want to do well yeah do what you want to do but in but in two months go look in a mirror oh man and it's either going to be there or it's going to need to be shaved off your face well no i'm saying and you're going to know it hey shave it shave it seven or eight times a day no peanut butter will fix it if you can't do it because i'll tell you why i'm just trying to help to guy my son is that way he he's his beard grows so fast

in the military they would tell him hey you forgot to shave this morning. He said, no, I shave. Mm-hmm. So he would have to carry his razor and shaving kit with him to shave during the day.

Mm. No stress. Because, hey, just, his beard just, you know, goes fast, big time. Mm. So, Tyler, good luck.

Crazy. Good luck, Tyler. I said DNA again, boys. Before and after pictures. Also, yes, please. And if, if you rub, pin up better all over your face.

please let us know if we have a selfie Hey don't go with Crunchy Boys It'll probably break you out Put crunchy on Nobody won't never mind I use creamy I can't believe people If he's creamy

I self-edited their owner Apparently mayonnaise does it Okay That is how you get salmonella Do not rubbed mayonnaise on yourself Oh mannaise In the trash can All right hold on I got a new email to read

This one's from John David and Westminster Roe. Hunter said something about not rubbing mayonnaise on himself. Is this from personal experience? No, it's not personal. I've never done that. I'm smarter than that. Well, then why do you know? And why do you feel so strongly? Like, that's the one thing that got you fired up today. Tell us more. I just, I just know that you, that's a good way to get salmonella because mayonnaise is made from eggs. And if you rub it on your skin and leave it there, you're going to get sick. Batchezal. I just know that off the top of my head. But I thought the people used to put it in their hair for life. Hey, ask why I don't like mayonnaise. So would you rather have salmonella or hairlice? Huh? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how that works.

I've never got a lace. Hunter once had a weird day with mayonnaise. This is a medical alert. Do not rub mayonnaise on your skin. A public service announcement. It will make you sick. You ain't got to worry about me rubbing mayonnaise on nothing. That's that.

I don't like me. Set for a hamburger. A mustard? Cheeseburger. Hey, who doesn't like corn dogs, corn dogs? Must you. Em for one.

Hold on. Manease and corn dogs aren't a thing. Nobody does that. But BLTs was mayonnaise. Yeah. Light. Light. Very light.

Very light. I have to tell that. Hey, give me a BLT and very light on the mayonnaise. But you don't want to get mad. So you're okay with whipped eggs being on there, but somebody fry one and put on your BLT and that's a problem? Yeah. Hey, look, when I want to BLT,

I want a BLT. Get the egg. When I want the eggs, I want them over easy. When I want a BLT, forget the L and the T. No. Just give me the B. You need to say, hey, give me the bread and I think the double B and then put a little pea in there on one size of size of bread.

Pimento cheese? Hey, no. Peanut butter. Bacon and peanut butter sandwich. B.B. Hey, look at his beard before you answer. That is a healthy beard. Okay.

He puts more on that one side of his face. That's because he eats out of that side because that was the only side with teeth before. He's chewing on that one side. Now we know. I would like to have a big guess. I hate to call him. I told somebody about your amroyd remedy the other day.

Somebody we know dearly. What does it say? I don't think he's tried it yet. Hey, I'm telling you. Who do I spend a lot of time with this time of year? Oh, man. Playing. Oh, you said it, not me.

Hey. I didn't say it. I'm just saying, hey, look, I told Jason to his face. I got a question about that, Vicks. Whenever, does it itch when it dries? Huh. Does it itch when it drives? The itch is gone.

No. I'm telling you, hey, if they are itching, it'll stop it. If they hurt, it'll stop it. If they're inflamed, it will make it go away. Yeah. How do you? Like I said, if you have trouble doing number two, you won't.

have any trouble anymore. So you put on the outside or the inside? Inside. Oh, you drink it? No, like a suppository. I'm asking for Clay because I want to let him know. You'll be with him next week. Si, we'll be going to be with him next week.

Please show up with a jar of Vic and just hand it to it. We're going to get him a dog. Don't tell him nothing, just hand it to him with a spoon. I said, hey. And just say, this is my lucky spoon and just leave it at that. I feel bad for people that are friends with us. Just leave it at that. We will tell the whole world that you have hemorrhoids.

I don't remember who sent me the email on the phone. They sent it to somebody. They said, hey. No, they sent it to me. I read it. I read it to you. I remember it. What he's telling you is true.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. But, man, if you'll show up with like a jar that's been opened and then your lucky spoon, that will get, it'd get a really good laugh from me. Oh, we'll bring it. And we'll video it. Yeah, we're going to have to video it.

Because I could. It's real bad for our friends. Oh, you can't feel bad for him. No, he's doing all right. He's got hemorrhoids. That has to do with me personally, okay, because look, my tolerance of pain, zero. Zero, boys.

Okay. So if it's, like, I told him when we're going to do that. Hey, look, look, with the dentistry that I just had done, I had told him to tell the people, I said, hey, look, I have no tolerance of pain. I said, so hey, you got to make this pain free or I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it. Pain free and drug free.

No. But that's just the way I am. If I'm in pain, it's over, boys. I'm going somewhere to get something that we'll get rid of it. I just love this podcast. How you guys grow a beard? Let me tell you about Jason's medical diagnosis. Well, no, no, because hey.

How do you grow a beard? Guess what? Clay's got it too. Hey, every time you go, a beard, you want to get rid of hemorrho? Hey, every time he gets a while in, all I would say is, hey, look, it's your own fault. We're an hour-long 3 a.m. infomercial. For Vicks Vaporub? For everything.

Look, Mama used... We really need a spot in the farmer's almanac. Here's the deal. Mama used the old home remedies. And Vicks's vapor rub was at the top of the list. Your mom, shove a spoonful of castor oil in your mouth? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

My grandma did that today. Yeah. Yeah. Anything it was wrong. anything that was wrong. Hold on. I'm serious. If you had a sore throat,

he moved his leg. Boom. I have a question. What is the name of oil? Castor oil. Castor oil. Yeah. And I ain't talking about a little teaspoon.

No, a tablespoon. He's been full tablespoon. And then I'm, now, boom. Yeah. Mamma'll slip up behind me and say,

turn around. I'd turn around. Yeah. Yeah. So, she chipped my front teeth. Mm. So can you fix anything on the human body?

Well, no, no, I'm just saying, hey, there are certain things that, hey, remedy. That are remedies that are old. What about a back hurt? And I'm talking about great, hey, this is great grandmama's recipe. Hurt your back? Yeah, I've hurt my back. So how do I fix that?

Where's it at? Right in the dead middle. Ain't your best, here's a car, but. Yeah, I don't trust him. Get your wife to open a bottle, a little. Cabernet 7-Yon. Hey, fix the paper roll. Wait.

No, no. Hey, I'm serious. No, my problem ain't there. No, no, I'm serious. It's going to heal everything. Hey, it will. And get a little bit on her finger. It doesn't hurt to rub on your back.

I can reach them. And then get a little lower. Mix paper rub, okay. And you don't want it all over the house. So how you put a gauze pad on top of it. Okay. And hey, I guarantee you you give it 30 minutes. And a spoonful of castor oil and an Epsom salt bag.

Hey, you're back when I'll be hurting. Vicks vapor rub. The hate. I thought that was for like. Well, I would get a chest cold. That's what my mama would do with my chest. Fixed paper rub. But you know what?

You know what's directly behind your chest? You're back. It never hurt. I'm serious. Hey, this black for a rub, hey, I don't know what it is about it. It's good for all. And you need to put some onions in your socks while you sleep. Oh, hey, look, if you cut your fan, like grab a sheet of paper and have a paper cut,

hey, you'll bleed like a stick pig, pig, but, hey, it also is. If you'll take a knife and cut your other finger, you'll forget about the paper cut. Well, no, no. No, you put vapor rubber in there and it'll stop the bleeding. and it'll stop the paint. I'm going to go by a gallon of Vicks vapor of them. Hey, I've got a bottle sitting everywhere in my house. Does it have to be Vicks or can it equate do it?

Nope. And there's a spoon. I'd be named by each one of them. I've always used Vicks. You know, that's what Mama used as a child. There you go. I was a child. They all always said, hey, no, anything that got a few, you know,

and I said, well, hey, look, you wouldn't play with gasoline and put it around your eyes. You know, anything that's got a, that makes a, a fume and you can see it and fix vapor up you when you open it you hold a bottle up looking you're just like looking at you know the sun waves on a desert what yeah oh yeah yeah so now you don't you don't put it around your eyes you know unless you want to go blind idiot so side you don't never consume that no okay I was trying to understand what something. Yeah, it's on the bottle not to do that. Okay, good. All right, I'm going to try it on my back tonight. See if that is.

I'm serious. And, hey, look, it won't take much. If she puts it just a little bit, it's cold, cuts her, cuts her, or, coats her finger, and then just rubs it in, go where your, where your back is hurting. I'm telling you, it will, first thing you'll feel is it'll get hot. I don't like that. Well, no, no. But that's part of the, that's what helps.

your back will get hot. It might feel like size that manager or the assistant coach off rookie of the year. It's been so long. Like hot ice. You're going to heat up the ice cubes. Here's what I bet. I bet you if you look at it,

if you buy that stuff, the shack's always advertising. Icey hot. Yeah. I guarantee you there's some type of fixed vapor rub in there. Oh, menthol. Yeah, menthol has been used to. I guarantee you,

plus in there. I mean, they put menthol and cigarettes that stuff so good. So, you know, I mean, all menthol is a cure-all, but anyway. I know my mother. My mom used it for everything in the world. I'm serious. Martin, what you got on the phone there? I got to look at it. You said you had one.

I got to look it up in my phone. It is, it was a prayer request. What? A prayer request for. What is her name? Gracie. Um, Big fan of ours.

She just got a schnauzer puppy. She named it, Si. Oh. But she has been diagnosed with AML, which is acute myeloid leukemia. So she starts treatment ASAP. So her mother reached out asking if we could say a prayer for Gracie. So I said, sure. So, Sai, you want to lead us in a prayer for Grace?

Can we get a picture of the schnauzer named Cy as well? That makes me, Gracie, thank you for having a schnauzer and thank you for naming it, that's a schnauzer? That's a schnauzer. That's a good looking dog.

That's what I'm saying. You have got a good looking dog, Gracie. But go ahead. All right, y'all bow your head with me. Father, we're going to bring Gracie

into your throne room, Lord. And our request for you is that you take this cancer from her body. Okay, and we know that if you just even think it,

okay, you're the creator. If you thank it, it'll be gone or you can use the doctors and nurses and do it through them. But I request to you, Father, is look down on Gracie with your infinite love and power, and we ask you that you take this cancer from her body. Then you give her long life and your service as one of your great warriors in your kingdom. But that is I request to you, Father, for Gracie, be with her family, bless them and keep them

safe, protect them from the evil one. And Father, we ask that for all us, protect us from the evil one. And we thank you for your love. We thank you for all the blessings of life. We thank you for your creation, but most of all, we thank you, Father, your love that

you sent your son, Jesus. And Lord, we thank you what you did on the cross for us that through you we have the hope of living eternity with you, thus your son, and your Holy Spirit. And again, Father, Thank you for all the blessings of life.

And we ask us to Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen. Amen. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all for listening, Gracie. Yep. That's our heartfelt prayer to you.

Give that snows or a hug for me. There you go. And we'll see y'all next time right here in the duck call room. We're out. See y'all.