Duck Call Room - Justin Martin’s Toddler Snaps Him Out of a Mad Dad Moment

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

Uncle Si welcomes licensed therapist Dr. Lee Long for a surprisingly deep conversation about faith, self-worth, relationships, and why it’s okay to ask for help. Dr. Lee gives Si a powerful new way to think about his self-image, and Justin Martin shares how his nearly 4-year-old son stopped him mid-lecture with one simple question. John-David is delighted by how quickly and successfully Dr. Lee reads them all in real time, and the boys make their own breakthroughs in honor of Mental Health Awareness month. Duck Call Room episode #554 is sponsored by: https://trybeef.com/duck — Get 10% off your first TriTails box straight from their ranch to your door. https://rocketmoney.com/duck — Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster! https://shopify.com/duck — Sign up for your $1 per-month trial today! Text DUCK to 64000 for your 2 free gifts with the purchase of any Pocket Hose Ballistic hose. Check out Dr. Lee Long's book here: https://www.drleelong.com/book And his podcast: https://www.drleelong.com/podcast - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We just met him. And we just, so what's crazy about this, Dr. Lee, so that you have a little background on us, we're a bunch of rednecks that don't know anything. To be fair, we make our living telling long yarns, exaggerated tales for the most part, but we took a... Exaggerated. Yeah, they're all exaggerated. We're fishermen and hunters that happens. Which is, this may be a way bigger deal for you as far as, man, these people are crazy. Because you're from the big city of Fort Worth.

This obviously is not Fort Worth. Not Fort Worth. No, this is, we are not in Fort Worth anymore. But we had a, what is she? What is Emily? There's a ton of letters after her name, but licensed adult and family therapists. There we go. We had Emily.

y'all who was that, a couple of weeks ago, and it went really well with our audience. So now we're kind of just trudging down this road. Well, it's Mental Health Awareness Month. It is Mental Health Awareness Month, and we struggle. What are you a doctor of? Education. Huh? Education.

I have an EDD. It's a doctorate of education. But in that, it's therapy and traumatology. and I work with all kinds of people, individuals, marriage and family, teenagers. And so I've been a therapist for almost 30 years and seen I've worked in juvenile detention centers. I've worked in alternative schools where the young people are, I like to say, invited to leave. They're really kicked out. But then I've worked in hospitals.

I've worked in, and now I have a private practice in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. We have offices in Dallas and Fort Worth and some other places, but we work with a lot of different age groups. There you go. Again, this got me going. The first question was, okay, and then I said, okay, we are our own problem. With your learned, a man, educated man, you know, how are we going to fix this? Oh, I love that question.

I think that it starts with your values, and a faithful man would say his values are based on God. Yep. In that relationship, if you're not a faithful person, then it's your values. The next is that you have to learn you, how you show up in the world. If something bothers you, why? Are we aware of it? Or do we try to change other people? See, I see you all too often.

Well, I think that's another one. one of our problems. Okay, because especially in the field of marriage. Yes. You know, I fall in love with this young lady, okay? And then when we get married, then I try to change her. And that's so stupid because some of the things I'm trying to change is the reason I fell in love with her to begin with.

Spot on. Because this is helping me because I've already learned two things that, you know, today. Look at you. That's because you came in well rested. You came in right out of a nap. Yeah. Correctly out of the other. That's another thing to help because, you know, people say work through the pain.

I always disagreed with the coaches when they said that crap. When they said what? If you're good. If you got pain, okay, it's saying stop. He's telling you something. Work harder. No, it's saying stop. Work harder.

Nobody cares. There's got built a whole brand. Yeah. But that coach didn't care. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting.

Well, no, no, because I'm looking at where the world is right now. Mm-hmm. Okay. And it's kind of fitting, really, when you think about this podcast and be this day. We're fixed to celebrate 250 years of freedom. Mm-hmm. Okay. And that, for a country, uneducated redneck, you know, I have difficulties

with what the human race is doing. I agree. And I think that we've lost perspective of ourselves. Well, we've, you know, from my childhood to now, we've changed so drastically. I think that's kind of what he's saying. That the change, the self-image has changed and the lack of awareness of self.

Right. I mean, I'm not trying to speak. for you but that's what I'm gathering. I'm gathering that from what you're saying. Well, no, no, because what you're saying is important. It is. He said something and this is what you got out of it, which is solid. Yeah, that's what I've gathered from what he said so far, which haven't been to

Tom. But I, you know, I said it with, with Emily. Is she doctor too? Dr. Emily? I just want to make sure I show people to write respect. She did such an amazing job, by the way. Because we're all bachelor's degrees, guys, ourselves.

And it took us as long as to get a doctor. Yeah, I mean, it's fine. You call me whatever you want to. But I like making sure people would get their respect. But I told her, and I'm going to tell you, I think it's a cool time to be alive in the fact that a lot of the stigma involved with therapy and counseling and all that has kind of gone away. It is decreasing. Where it's not, you're not categorically seeing something wrong with you because you go to therapy or counseling. It's like you're working on yourself. And I think that's a good job on y'all's part, Because it takes you guys producing a good product to make that where it's okay. Well, no, your point on this that I get, okay, is that, hey, guys, if you've got a problem, it's okay.

Yeah. This is life. And, hey, life brings problems. It does. Yeah. So don't be afraid to say, hey, guy, yo, hey, buddy, I need help. Yeah. So, but why do you, we have an answer.

expert here. Why do you think that is, like it is, the stigma's gone. I know more therapists than I ever thought I would. It's like, we're Mental Health Awareness Month, yet so many people still stuck in that world and don't know how to get the help. Why do you think that is? Because I think people come to therapy to try to fix everything outside of them rather than slowing down to look at themselves. I had a gentleman show up in my office who had been in therapy, for 11 years, and he wanted a new therapist. So he showed up. After 11 years, I'd say that's by time.

Yeah, he's blaming the wrong person. Looking for a way out. Right. And the question that I asked him was, but where are you in those situations? And it was dumbfounding to him at first, but then he stepped back and kept looking at, well, where am I in that moment?

What do I think? What do I feel? What do I believe? And what am I experiencing? And when I can see that, then I have the power to make change rather than giving that away to somebody else. And I think that the more we, if we're not careful, we can go to therapy. But if we're trying to make the world different, it's a losing battle.

It all starts with us. The thing about that when you said, okay, and I'm going to bring in my brother. Okay, for 28 years, Phil run with the devil. Okay, and he carried his wife, she even said he was the devil. Okay, but he, he educated me. And the Bible verse is, you know, don't try to get to two before I, your brother's eye until you get, you know, you get the one out of your eye. You know, and that's why I'm saying that, I had more trouble in the military because my parents

raised me as a Christian. The people I love most in this world, my mom and dad, well, they raised me from infancy. Honesty's always best part. mom would beat you half to death if you lied to her okay if you told the truth it wouldn't get a whoop it but if you lied to her and she knew it you know sometimes you'll say I'm sorry I went too far yeah but hey you know just the thing is we we're uh we're always because people do it all time they blame, they blame God for all the bad stuff. When God, God don't do bad stuff.

Okay, there's another guy here. And it's the devil. That's the one that does all the bad stuff. And here's the thing, he's after you to get you to do his bad stuff. Yeah, but I just, it really bothers me. and it's just it's the way the human being is yeah

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Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat, folks. Yeah, just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So you ever have them people show up to you to think they're smarter than you are? Sure.

Yeah. I bet that's a problem in your line of work. Yeah, I go to therapy and the whole time that person's thinking, oh, I'm going to get him. I'm going to slick him. Like, ain't nothing wrong with me. Watch yes. That person comes to me all the time. Yeah, I'm about to get on, I'm about to get on chat GPT.

Look, I'm about to get on chat GPT. I'm going to use all these fancy words in front of Doc. He's going to say, hey, nothing wrong with me. You need to get out of here. I guarantee you. Randy Hawkins on the, Josie Wells. Yeah. All that don't mean doodily.

Yeah, all that big talk don't mean doodily squat. It doesn't because it comes down to a relationship. There, there we go. Relations. Hey, that's right there. when people ask me, and since I go out and speak a lot, and when I'm leaving, they said, you know, what words of wisdom are you going to leave us with there,

Uncle Sy? And I always tell them the same thing. They're only important thing on this earth. Your relationship first with the Almighty, and then your relationship with everyone around you. So why do you figure, so you're saying. He wants to add on, but what about your relationship with yourself? with yourself, right? That's what I was about to ask you. Because it's out of the face of Jesus

Christ, and it's one of the very few, if not the only time, that he answered a question very directly and didn't give a parable. And the question came to him with a Pharisee attorney that said, okay, rabbi, of all of these laws, they were two good Hebrew scholars that knew there were 613 laws. Which one of these is the greatest? No, I'm no attorney, but I know that's a really good deposition question. right and so he answers it and he says love and i always say thank you bono is the highest law thank you mona love god love the lord your god with our heart soul and mind and the second one is much like the first that you would love your neighbor how in the same way you love yourself

and i look at that and say it's an inverted sentence and we don't think about it we don't think about really what it's saying correct what it's like to love yourself well no no no no what it's like to love yourself. You can't take somebody somewhere you haven't been. Yeah. Well, we always look at what the peripherals, the outside.

I've been guilty of the other side of that, taking them places I have been. Because I was going to make the point with my military career. Okay, my wife would always, I'd come home and saying, well, the colonel threw me out of his office again.

We had a big fight. You know, and now it's going to be hell for about two weeks, you know, until we get over this. And she'd start laughing. And I said, so funny. She said, you're your worst enemy. And I said, I know it. I said, but here's the thing.

When I get up my morning and press my teeth, looking in the mirror, I've got to like that guy I'm looking at. That's exactly right. And I said, so, you know, I'm having trouble with this idiot. Why are you pointing me? Okay, that I'm, well, I'm just, you know, I'm, that's in charge of me. I ain't that. Can I press a little bit? Yes. There we go. But if this guy is an idiot who's in charge of me, where's your power?

Well, that's part of the problem. That's another one of them good deposition question. He ain't even an attorney. I may think I have too much power. Okay. Over what, though? Well. Yeah.

There you go. See, that's where the problem. come. That's what's a problem comes, okay? This is far learning pre-experienced guys. That old man doesn't got God over. I can see it on his face when he gets got

to him. He's like, deadgummit. The river didn't hit, boys. Well, no, because hey, that's the deal about, hey, don't look at the two before when your brother's up. Oh, amen. Before you get the one out of yours. Amen.

What do you think? Oh, and that was my problem. Trying to get the two-by-fours out of everybody. Yeah, it's just where, you know. Yeah, you start learning around one eye. Back to the point, hey, I've got to like myself, okay, before I'm any good to anyone else. Right. Amen.

And that's been a question that I get when I've talked about this for as many years as I have is, well, aren't you building narcissists out of all of this? This self-focused? And my answer to that is, no, that just shows me you don't understand narcissists. them. Because this is where when people ask me a question and I always tell us. I've been watching a lot of shows.

Guys, you've got to look at this. Jesus died for this no good human being. Can I press again? Yeah. You're made in his image. That makes you. No, no, I know.

That makes you not no good. I'm looking at myself and I'm putting myself where I should be. Well, you should be a prince. In relationship to him. Uh-huh. I'm coming for you.

I don't understand. Yeah. No, no, because I don't understand how he can love me when I'm a complete failure in, like, 99% of the stuff that I do. But are you? But no, see, that's why I'm not, again, my analogy of myself is in error.

Okay, because you said it, hey, I'm created in his image for crying out loud. Amen. Yeah. And a really interesting thing that hit me as I was training for a long foot race. It was an ultramarathon. I was running along. And I was by myself. You did. You signed up for that? I did. I did. And it wasn't. Voluntarily. I didn't lose a bet. Oh, man. And this will be good because, hey, that is in the Bible a lot that, hey, you're in a race. Don't get in a rush. So I'm running along?

The only thing I want you to do is finish. Yeah, and that's God talking. He had an epiphany on the road. So I was by myself and those who know me know that I'm not normally by myself. I love people way too much. But I was by myself and I wasn't listening to earbuds and I was running along by the river and the sun was coming up. And there were these ducks just flying in and landing on the water. It was gorgeous.

And I was looking around thinking, man, God, you're so. an artist. And all of this is just for me. Nobody's out here. It's just me. And it was almost as if it wasn't audible. I don't need medication. I'm kidding. But it was almost like it was audible that he said, when you look in the mirror, does the reflection of my image coming back to you, cause you as much awe as all of this does? None of this is made in my image. You are. That stopped me in my tracks. Which is a profound statement. Yeah. That's deep.

That's way deeper than we've ever been. No. That's a profound statement. That's wild. I ain't ever even talking about that. When you, you know, and so I've got to recalculate and then when I look in the mirror, I've got to say to myself, remember. But think of the most beautiful places on earth.

I made you in my image. Yes. And he says, if you say you love me, but hate your brother. Yeah, you're a liar. You're a liar. And the truth ain't in you. Well,

and what did your mama do when you told lies? Well, no, no. Listened that right here. I'm not joking with you. No, no. No, you, because, you know, and we're too. I knew it was going to be,

uh, I learned a lot and I am. Yeah, we're two for two on therapists. Well, no. This is awesome. Well, that was good. That was good there.

But I got a question. So I'm going to let you turn on. that and I'm going to ask you a question. What has killed the image of ourselves and why we love ourselves? I mean, there, obviously, there's never one thing, right? Like, it's generally a conglomerate of things. But the thing that you would deem most responsible for the biggest decline of loving ourselves, is it, is it comparison?

Like, you know, is it social media? Is it your phone looking at your life and comparing it to everybody else's highlight real and your highlight? and your highlight real and your mind doesn't stack up to their highlight real so therefore I'm miserable and they're you know like that kind of deal or or is there something something else I'm just asking like in your professional opinion I think that's it I think that we again we live life outside of ourselves that's through comparison I think it's through you know mind reading not not thinking about not or thinking about what somebody else thinks of you without

taking the space to clarify, like an assumption basically, or trying to control the world around us because we're afraid to enter into it. And I think that, you know, anxiety and depression are on, you know, a steep, steep incline. And I think that, you know, those things cause us to shut down. Like, we don't, we won't reach out and, you know, be open to things. We're afraid of things and so we don't interpersonally engage with others. And I think it keeps us closed off and we miss out on relationships. And I see relationships are some of the, I think, there's data on how, like what brings the most happiness. I'm, hopefully that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. 60% of, of people who say that they're,

60% of the happiness that people experience is all based in relationship. Like that's more than half. I can see that. Your relationship with your wife, your friends, your coworkers. Like if those things are good, then you deem life to be pretty well that's right now.

That's like to find if mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Yeah, well, a lot of truth to that. Yeah. She was made in his image too though. Yeah. You know,

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That's rocketmoney.com slash one more time, RocketMoney.com slash. We've established that we're all here. and in this, right? Yep. We're all on this earth. Yep. Even if you think... It don't matter if it's round or flat.

You're still here. You still here. Even if you think, hey, at some point, Kaboom and you got here, I mean, I have a hard time. I'm with Sae. Cabooms don't normally make much happen. But...

No, they generally end the other way. Yeah. So we're all here and we're all in this. Dr. Lee, where am I in this? You see what happened? I see what you did that. That's just such a deep question. Yeah.

And that's the title of the book. So I'm like, okay, let's just, I mean, 255 pages is a lot. But, yes. And I'm very simple. So like, where's, where's that head? As far as what's the book about? Yeah. Yeah.

Or if you want to just let me know where I need to be in this whole situation. But what was the title of your book again? Where am I in this? It's, it's weight. Where am I in this? Because weight is an acronym. because in my field there has to be a lot of acronyms. That is true.

I mean, you guys learned about EMDR, right? There's an acronym. Yeah. But weight is an acronym for where am I in this. Oh. You said it wise. We keep getting really smart people coming this show and I think it is a rest of it. See, I thought weight was, I thought weight was really weight.

It is. It is. It's both. It's both. Is that W-A-I-T? Yes. the other one. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I got that other one on lockdown. Don't worry about the W. Wait, where am I in this? About 220. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Well, no, it's a good question. Okay. And I will change the weight to, okay, what purpose do you serve? Yeah. What is your purpose being here? Wait, time out now.

The man already wrote the book. Don't change the title. Yeah, that's too late. You should have been on the first, round of a edit. Yeah, you should have.

No, but I do think it, I think it's, well, I changed wars on people all the time. Well, no, what I love.

You just called Pensacola Pepsi Cola. Yeah. And that was just moments ago. I don't know if anybody else got it. Praise God. Yeah. The,

no, what I find super interesting is, um, we've all thought that. Well, and Dr. Lee, he's either a brother in Christ.

Yes. Or that boy has spent a lot of time studying that. I'm going to choose to believe it's the first, and he just confirmed it with the yes on that. But whenever the first, when his book title is wait, there's one thing that God always says in that book for us. And it's to be still. Like, wait, be patient. I'll say say, and be still.

I mean, there's a lot of different ways that he says, essentially for today's English language, wait. And so I think that pause in this is critical. I think that I think that's a critical part of your title of just the waiting, right? Just the stopping and taking a second to look at yourself because, I mean, we all do it, right? You look at somebody, they're the problem, there. Yes. And they very well may be. They may be part of it.

They may be part of the problem, but your reaction to what? whatever they're doing is equal and opposite, depending on which law thermodynamics you want to go down. But it's even there in that law. Yeah. That's what I'm brilliant. Yeah, but that's what I was getting at. Like the weight is, you know, I love that it's an acronym for the whole thing.

I never put that together. Kudos to that, by the way. Yeah, that's a good one. But I think that moment of just stopping and looking at yourself, that introspection. I mean, it's something that I try to stay mindful of and do all the time. But I'm also an introvert. So looking at myself pretty easy for me.

Like, I mean, that's just like you said, running by yourself is a strange thing. That's the only time I'm going to run if I'm by myself because I don't want, hey, I don't want to be dragging other people down and be. I don't want nobody see me. I got a whole reverse Baywatch thing going on. Yeah, you know, being 40, a lot of jiggling in places. it shouldn't be, you know. Reverse.

They watch. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody's watching that saying, dang. But. Where are you going? I'm trying to get there, but we, you know, you end up down these side roads and things happen. But it is an interesting time in the world to sit by yourself when we long for relationships.

And we think we have them because of social media. But that's not a relationship. yep, that's not, that's just a bunch of typing and a bunch of places for people to air their frustration. So you may look and say, well, I've got a thousand friends or whatever you're like, no, you don't. I mean, at best case, how many friends do we actually have? Like, friend, friends. Right. Very few. Friends that you can call or drop. You know, one of my biggest problem is three and a half of them are here. Me and Hunter are working on that, on getting to that level.

But that's what I've said. I know I could call you. And if you're awake, You'll move heaven and earth to do whatever I need you to do for me. I know you will. Same with you. Same with Johnny Galvin. Y'all don't see him sitting over there. But I know that's the case. And so is it those relationships that are suffering too?

Because of our, I mean, when you look at typical people's friend group, like, you know, it just doesn't exist anymore. Like for a lot of people, right, especially for a younger generation. It seems. I think you're spot on. Yeah. Because I'm, I got like buddies. kids that are now teenagers and stuff. And like, I look down, I'm like, oh, wait, they think we're friends because they don't

have a lot of peers of their own that they're, and I'm cool with that. Like, I'm cool with being friends with 13 year old. Like, that's fine with me. It doesn't bother me at all. Because it keeps me young. And in a sense, like, now, I don't know what they're saying half the time, but or what any of it means. You need a lexicon for that.

Yeah, I need something. But I'm going to visit with Young Roads over here for that. I'm going to get a dictionary for what a lot of that's. I don't understand what the kids are even saying. Yeah. And some of them, I mean, they're your kid. My kids aren't quite old enough for that. I just repeat what they say and hope it's not vulgar.

But, I mean, it seems like that's missing. We're like, when I was growing up, where were 20 of us at any given time that would have been running around together. Right. And we were most of the time into mischief. I'm not going to deny that part. But we were guys on missions. Yeah. We had something.

We had some in goal, no matter what. You know, it was dumb. Most of them were dumb and we will pay for them once we reach 60 for sure for doing, putting our bodies through dumb stuff on full wheelers and. Yeah. And jumping off bridges and other stupid crap that we did. Yeah. If we wouldn't have pushed past the pause, we might have done fewer dumb things, though.

Yeah. But you didn't, you didn't have time to pause then. It was all gas. No brakes. Well, our adult brain wouldn't form yet. Yeah. This prefrontal cortex up here wouldn't form. Yeah, I'm still waiting on that to come in.

Yeah, I don't jump off bridges near as quick as I used to. Yeah. No, but I ain't saying I won't. The right opportunity comes around. You said something about being alone, just you. Oh, yeah. Is that part of our problem? Isolation.

Isolation? Oh, I think loneliness is an epidemic right now. Yeah. I mean, people have described that they're lonelier this year than they were last year by like 20%, a little more than that. But yeah. Because something is happening, okay, and it ain't good. Right. You know, with our young people.

Because, like, you know, I've got eight grandsons. And like the dating nowadays is insane. How so? Oh, I don't even want to think about it. No, no. Mine ain't even forward. My daughter's always talking about her sons and saying, she's trying to get them to date, you know, get married.

But, you know, they all, every time she says something, they said, oh, we don't do that. And I talked to some kids the other day, and they said, they told them the same thing. But, oh, no, you don't go talk to a beautiful young lady. And I said, wait a minute, what are you talking about? I said, if I go a bar and there's a beautiful young woman sitting on a bar stool,

I'm not sonny. I said, that's the first time I look around. and hey, I look for the finest one in there, and that's the one I go for. I said, what's wrong with you, boy. But see, that takes confidence in you, though. And you've got to know what goods you're bringing to the table. No, I love the girls. It ain't no confidence, okay?

Yeah, you are confident. I just love the women, okay? Yeah. One thing you ain't ever struggled from, my friend, is confidence. I mean, I didn't even know you back then, but I know you now. You ain't ever struggle with self-confidence. Well, I just, you know, but I love. look but that's because you didn't have nothing to compare yourself to except for your brother

like i mean you really didn't and now you can everybody every the world is open to you that's what yeah the age information is dangerous because it's well it's dangerous and it's useful yeah i mean it's both and we've got to figure out that you got to find the balance of it right i'm a non-technical person okay technology you mean don't get all know i've got all kinds of stories the phones won't work that surprises you don't it no no the phone or cussed me out and all this stuff. But anyway, seriously.

Maybe that's, maybe that's the problem. Because our teenagers today spend 80 hours a week on this stupid day. Is that real number? No. I don't know.

I mean, my... That can't be good for anybody. My screen time is between four and a half and five hours per day. Yeah, but they're teenagers. They're on this. 35. hours so you think somebody that really ain't got nothing to do is they're talking to

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That's Shopify.com slash. But if you look at that, what are we looking for? We're looking for connection. We're looking for connection. We want relationship. I believe that we were created. We were designed to connect. Oh, sure.

Yeah. And when we don't have that. But it ain't this. It ain't to this. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. And that's why to me, this question with the pause in the beginning of it is, is to

understand how am I showing up in the world? Because if I'm showing up all like stressy, anxious, angry, mopey, however I'm showing up, then how do, how am I going to be connectable? You know what I'm saying? And so it's like, like I was thinking about this as you were talking that, you know, my kids play sports and referees umpires can i just get up you know sometimes they're tough look i love them like they're they do great work yes and for the other two exactly exactly and i'm thinking about watching some of the calls that i was seeing come over the plate and everything in me wanted to jump out on that field and say hey brother look you need to and i wanted to tell him what to do to this to this umpire But where am I? I don't have power and I don't have influence on that field.

Back to your question about who's got. So where am I? Sometimes it is about who's got the power. Right. Well, I had my power. And so what I realized watching the first strike that he called, my son just, you know, kind of moved his hips a little bit. It's just kind of a hip check to see.

He was like, yes, he did it. And he called that a strike. Well, I wanted to lose my mind. but I didn't. The second pitch that will air quote this came over the plate, bounced off the plate. The catcher did what every catcher should do, and he framed the ball. And he said, that's two. That's a tough. That's when I was like, oh, bounce off on plate. Bounce off on plate. The catcher frames it. And he says, that's two, strike two. And I'm just gripping the seat, just thinking to myself, don't lose your mind here. Where are you? You have no

influence. The third one, the catcher slid on his right knee, caught it in the other batters box and did what every catcher should. He puts it right over the plate. And he says, strike three, you're out. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me. And it's like, well, come back to yourself. Come back to yourself. Where are you in this Lee? Where are you? And I had to get up and I had to walk around. And I was so mad because I was like, I want to give him a piece of my mind and say, you just miss three calls, bad ones too. But I realized it was like, what am I thinking? What am I feeling?

What am I experiencing? What am I believing? And I was like, I don't want this outcome from my kid. But I don't have power over that. What do I have power over? I have the power over the outcome that my kid's dad is not going to get kicked out of this ball game chirping at an umpire. Yeah.

And I realize my power is right here keeping my mouth shut. Yeah. And a real opportunity to show. Well, the only thing you can change is your reaction. That's it. That's it. But what I see is people coming in and saying, I want my mom to have better boundaries. I want my, you know, my husband or my wife to act differently.

I want my kids to behave better. Or don't we all? Well, right. You're forgetting, like you're saying, you're forgetting where do I come into this. That's exactly right. Where am I in this situation? Am I doing the right thing? try to get the results that I want.

If I want my mom to have better boundaries, then it may be that I just have to say, hey, mom, when that topic comes up, I'm really not comfortable with it. So could we please change the subject? I have to have better boundaries. Yeah, you've got to be comfortable building them yourself. You can't expect them to build them for you.

Well, what do they just change, okay, really, like I'll use my looking in the mirror tomorrow. Are you doing what you're supposed to be doing to get the results you want. Right. But without judgment, and without condemnation. And when we...

No brow beating yourself. Just, hey, what do I need to change to get the results that I'm seeing? That's it. That's it. Think about this. If we all approached it that way, what would the world look like?

Not better than it does right now. Exactly. Well, and it's the ultimate opportunity to show what freely given to us through Christ too, right? grace and mercy. Like, I mean,

just the waiting will allow you to show more grace, more mercy, which we've been given the ultimate of that if we say that we're in Christ and we confess with our mouth that we believe in him and we're baptized and all the good things.

We receive an abundance of grace and mercy. It flows our way. And I think so quick, like we put up a dam where, when it flows to us, like, you ain't leaving me. Like, you ain't going to keep. keep flowing downhill to somebody else.

And so, which is a really cool thing to teach. Like, I mean, I had that opportunity with my kids this weekend. My mom was gone and I got visibly frustrated with them. I mean, they're almost four and they were just ripping the pages out of their books.

And I'm like, what, what are you doing, son? And then Jackson- Just ripping pages out of? Just ripping pages out of the book because, you know,

they were there because they could. Right. And then what Jackson looks at me and says, Daddy, are you mad? and I was like, well, there's real, there's real knee-jerk moment. Why am I mad? Why do I care that somebody that's not even four years old just ripped a page out of a book?

And I said, you know what? Not anymore. Not after that little humble pie come through there. Yeah, I don't care. We're just going to pick it up and throw it away and you won't have your book. So there's your real consequence. There's nothing I can teach you. We're just not, you're not going to have that book anymore because all the pages are ripped out of it.

So there you go. No, I'm not mad anymore. Thank you for actually getting me unmad. I appreciate that. And I wouldn't even say it was mad. It was more irritated. I don't know. Because to me, mad means a different level.

I was just like, you've got to be freaking kidding me. Like, you look at tracks. They turned blue and the cadet, man. You did it. That was it. Yeah. But he did. But I wouldn't have done it had my not even four-year-old looked up at me and said,

Dad, are you mad? I was like, no. Actually, I'm not. So let's just pick up the mess and let's throw it away. But how many parents would have pushed past that and not listen to their for you or to their son? Yeah. Well, luckily for me, I've got twins.

So I knew the other one was watching too. And so it was like, not only is he watching me, but his brother's over there in a corner that ain't done nothing yet. And I'm like, ooh. I mean, how simple of a question is that? Dad, are you mad? I was like, hmm. No.

And he's four that asked that? He will be. He's not quite there yet. First of all, that's brilliant. Yeah. And second of all, he just asked you in almost four-year-old language, hey, dad, where are you in this? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Are we going to put it back together? Yeah, where you're going to get back together. Yeah. I'm at. I'm on my way to the trash can with your book. Exactly.

Boom. Because the beautiful thing about that was there was a consequence. Because we don't want to have this permissive parenting because I do think part of that permissive parenting is why we are where we are. Yeah. And we just make excuses and we just, it's okay. We're just going to put you in time out. I mean, I remember when my son was about three years old, we had a Costco-sized box of Cheerios.

And man, he was doing the lasso with it open, you know? Oh, no. That's this one? He's sitting to our left. No microphone. Roads. Sorry, buddy. Ah, it's all good.

I hope you're okay with us. Oh, yeah. But, you know, the whole thing was he was upset when he realized, and he was stomping around on it. You know, the whole thing was he was upset when he realized we were upset. And a lot of times what we do is parents would go, oh, let's go put them in timeout. Well, we did, but timeouts for emotional regulation.

So he went to timeout, and then he came back and he realized, oh, no, this is still here to be cleaned up, right? So it's like, you know, how many times do you go to timeout to regulate emotions? A lot. but the end result is you still got to clean up the mess you made. And I think those are the two things to me is that it's an understanding of self and it's living life in an accountable way. The world isn't going to take care of this for me.

I always say it's making me right, me right for the world, not the world right for me. And that's, I think, at the core of it. And that's what you were doing with your son. Yeah. Well, I wasn't at the time being. And I was like, I was, you little punk, like, there was no reason to rip every page out this book. Is it a good book? No, but it's just stuff, right?

Like, I mean, it's just. You paid for that book? Huh? Did you, were you ready to draw, I paid for this book? No. I've been known to drop that line. But I am to the point where I'm trying to teach them value of things, like that stuff has real value. And I know it may be perhaps a little early for that, but I'm trying to show,

I'm trying to show them value in another way. Not this cost me $18. Because they don't understand money yet. Right. But it's really more so like a lot of that stuff I like to tie into it of when they do something. The next time we go somewhere, I know that they have what they just tore up. And I make them walk right by it. And I'm like, they're like, oh, can we?

I'm like, nope. Nope. You see? Because we would have to pay for that. And you tore it up. You had one that was perfect. good and you tore it up so we're not going to pay for another one but it's kind of a way to intentionally teach them some sort of value to objects into things because you know they're for a while

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Just text to 64,000. That's dark to 64,000 for your two free gifts will purchase. Dark. The 64,000 message and data rates may apply. I'm trying to set this up to leave. leave the people that are listening. Number one, it's okay if you have problems and it's okay to look for help.

Amen. Okay, to ask for it, look for it. Try it out loud, this is life. You run into things, okay, and how you deal with it is very important. Because I've learned a lot today from this little episode, okay, because I've got to change how I look when I look and see myself in the mirror,

quit being so hard on yourself. You're created in the image of God almighty, dummy. Dummy. Quit being so hard on yourself, you idiot. No, no, yeah. But being stupid, you dummy. Because I know people are struggling. Yeah.

And, you know, I'm looking for fixes. How do we fix this? The crazy thing is that struggle knows no bounds. as far as well that's a good point rich folks are just as bad as well no no folks I mean like it doesn't matter

your economic class doesn't matter your job doesn't matter misery comes to everybody it does and how you deal with that is and I you know I think it goes without saying we all deal with it with a firm foundation in Jesus Christ

that's how we deal with it here in the duck call room and I know how Dr. Lee did with it I talked about in the 60s, okay, we was farmers, and we was closer to the earth, okay, because that's what we worked. When you're working the earth, you ain't got time for trivial garbage, okay?

And that's the best way I can put that. Because, hey, you're trying to make a living and you're trying to live the abundant life that Christ came down here to give us. That's the thing that gets me. Jesus didn't come to judges. He came to Savior and he came to give us not just life, but first class. So, hey, let's do our part to kind of give out a boost.

So what if that part is us knowing where we are in the moment so that we have composure and kindness and compassion than to give to other people. Well, like I told one of the show hit. People would ask me, what are you going to do now? I said, well, God's done his part. I said, now it's left up to me. I said, because he blessed me so I could bless others. And I said, I think I've accomplished that pretty decently.

He did his part, and I tried to do mine. Did I do enough or should I've done more? I am because of this podcast. He's still doing his part, and we're still trying to do it. Which is why I think conversations with folks like Dr. Lee are valuable. I mean, this one's been good to say. You'll tune in the next time and we'll be back to our normal yarns.

You know, yeah, we'll be talking about. Where do you ride a giraffe? The best breakfast buffet in the U.S. Like, we'll get back on our. I would love to know. And hey, I'm going to give you some alerts. Kids, get off these stupid phones and have relationships with each other. Okay.

I have a relationship with your mom and dad for crying out. It's at supper table. You don't need to look at this and you don't need to ask AI. Ask S-I. Hey. You ask a human being for crying out loud. That machine don't love you. And if you really want to send your parent into a tailspender,

like mine didn't say, are you mad? Dad, where are you in this man? Dad, are you mad? That's like, hmm. Carter did have a great question. fill the bill. I learned a lot. Well, I am going,

don't get power hungry. Did he bring one? Can you hang me with those? Yeah, I got the information right here. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely. It does. Website is Dr. Lee Long.com,

D-R-L-E-L-E-L-O-N-G.com. Go check it out. He's got his book there. Wait. Which is an acronym for. Where am I in there? I can guarantee you if you read it. I haven't yet, but I will.

You're going to learn something. Yeah. Okay. The man's been here for an hour. I've learned, oh, 15, 20 things. And our, hey, look, I'm overflowing the day, boys. For our Bible verse, I'm going to call it back to the point where he straight stumped you, which was a really fun moment in my life.

That was fun. And I'm going to, I'm going to politely ask Hunter after this is over, can you clip that? We don't have to post it, but can I have it? Yeah, because it is something I've never. Because it's hard to stump him. I've never thought about. We talk about the creation of God being this awesome thing. Like how could somebody go to the Grand Canyon and not believe in the Lord?

How could somebody see all the animals, all a creation, how in the world a mom has a baby in her belly for nine months? And that's so beautiful when it comes out. But when Dr. Lee turned size kind of Bible verse against him and said, God created mankind in his own image in the image of God he created them. Male and female he created them. That's Genesis 1, 27. So if you are going through something, you are made in the image of God, which is the most amazing thing in the whole wide world.

So when you look in the mirror and you're trying to decide if you like yourself, just remember you were made in the image of God and you might need some help, and that's not a problem, and go find that help. And Dr. Lee's book might be a great point. place for you to start that. That was a good episode. Well, no. I didn't even talk.

That was a profound statement. Okay. Because you need to put that in your bank box and keep it there. Oh, I put it there. Right when he asked you, I said, wow. Okay. That's, yeah, wow. Yeah.

No, no. That was a good one. Yeah. As Godwin says, who's in here, too, he said, you know, he spoke all this into existence. Spoke it all. but we were created in an image. I mean, even if you think of it and like that, like he... Well, no, no, because Jason Robinson...

The rest of them, we're like, we were enthralled by its beauty. Yeah. We look at us and like... Jason Robertson asked the teenager he was teaching. He said, close your eyes, clear your mind, and I'm going to ask you a question then I want you to answer it. What do you see, what image is got?

And that's a good question. It is a good question. And what I came up with right there just right now. So I've been, I thought about it a lot because I could come up with a good, good answer. But when you think of God made us in his image, I'll give you this answer. This image is good.

Everything good. Everything. There's nothing negative. It's all positive. So if you're in, you're made in the creator's image, well then, hey, shine your light. Help anybody you can. help.

Everything is positive. It's always on the positive. You put that in your humbox. That'll keep a good, that's a good foundation to look at. Amen. Well, Dr. Lee, we appreciate you coming on. Thanks so much. That was awesome.

Thank you for making the trip down Interstate 20. Hold Fort Worth down for us. Yeah, you live right next to my daughter. She lives in Hearst. Oh, yeah. See how many cities are in that city? No. There's,

this old ball is a lot smaller than everybody thinks. Yeah. Except that city is way bigger than you think it is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fair Worth is spread out. No, it's good. I can't thank you guys enough for having me.

Absolutely, man. Thank you so much. And I have a feeling we may see you again in the future at some point. I like what we did today. That was fun. That was very fun. And you may be the first person that's ever set there and stumped. So.