Duck Call Room - New Dad Justin Martin Is Ready to Wave the White Flag

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Godwin and John-David discuss what they'd take with them if they joined "Naked and Afraid" — and whether it'd be worse to be naked or afraid. John-David tells the guys about the time he accidently dropped one of his kids as a baby. Martin makes fun of the animals you only see in road curves. Si talks about squirrel hunting barefooted with Phil during the time of the "migrating squirrels." The boys weigh in on whether it's OK to get rid of barn pests, such as possums. Plus, is a kids' baseball game a good reason to skip Sunday service at your church? --- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And we're back. And we're back Da-na-na-na-na from outer space. Outers' I just walked in to find your ear with that, that look upon your face. I should have changed as that'll rock. I should have made you leave your key.

If I'd have known for just one second, side would be back to bother me. Go on now, go. Walk out the dog. What if we turn this thing into a musical? A musical. We tried that. It didn't work.

I can't. Totally tune. I can't tow the tune in a bucket. That's my feelings. Huh? I've always just wanted, like, to live my life, like, a Disney movie for, like, three days. And then, like, every time something to happen, like, do, do, do, do, do, do. Look at the window, there's a door.

I was about... Why would there be a door by the window? That's like the start of a... I didn't know they did that anymore. Oh. Who knew we owned 10,000 salads? I've got a three-year-old girl. Ten thousand salads.

Well, that's, you know... I don't mind salads as long as I got a thousand island dressing on it. Or a vinaigarette. Vinegaret. No oil. No oil? I'm out on the hole. I'm not supposed to be eating it, but you can't eat a salad without something on it.

That's true. Speaking of salads, I just did Christians' podcasts, and, you know, it's about working out and being healthy, which isn't technically my bang zone. And I felt naked over there because there wasn't like a. computer or a desk to hide behind and no Captain America sitting beside me so I moved a lot like trying to hide this stuff no you just got to own it yeah I did eventually I think but I moved a lot at that point you just sit your belly on the table well there wasn't a table to set it on you know we were just in chairs you just live in chairs yeah but it was like I was on naked and afraid over there sitting next to Captain America I'm out of it and afraid what's happening out in the world we're naked and afraid

Is that still a show? I don't know. That old boy from here was on it. Willie tried to get me to go on it. Oh, Nekid and Afraid? He told me he would pay me. And I was like, I'll go sign up right now if you're going to pay. He offered a large sum of money because he thought it would be hilarious if I was on it.

Let me tell you. He didn't pay? That was the amount of money that I said, yeah, I'll do it for that. And then he was like, well, that's just what you get paid to go on there. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's probably not true, so I'm not. Guarantee. You got a, but for $100,000, I'd go on naked and trade. Hey, I got it right in front of me, Jay.

But you got, you got to stay, you got to be, how does that work? I don't think. Being naked or being afraid? Both of them are. When you go out there, you got to stay for a certain amount of time or? I think so. It's like three weeks. Nope.

I haven't watched a lot of it because it kind of makes me uncomfortable. But the one I watched, I was like, I could do that. He just, like, made a hammock and said, come pick me up in 21 days. You could make a hammock? Well, by a hammock, I mean, he, like, got a rock and dug some dirt. He just sat there for 21 days, which I feel like I'd excel at. He called dirt a hammock? Well, you're going to do the first time that big old spider crawls across.

What you got to? But naked. I mean, you butt-necked. Yeah. Or a swarm of a... Well, you get to bring, like, one thing. Skeeters come. What's your one thing, then?

Like a pot, because it's a weapon and you can boil water, and you can cook stuff. Where are they at when they do this? They do it all over. Now, if it was cold, your boy, long gone. I'd like them to try it in Louisiana in the summertime. No, sir. Be naked in a fray. There you go.

I don't even like being naked in my bath. In the swamp. Yeah. In July. Because, hey, even in, you know, early, you know, the mosquitoes don't leave until it actually gets really cold. Until the first frost, yeah. Yeah, because I've been squirrel hunt before, and they literally ran me out of the woods.

Let's talk. Let's talk about something here. What? I just heard God would say something that I've always heard all my life. What's that? Mosquitas leave after the first frost. I don't know. Have y'all ever been north?

Like Canada, Alaska, North Dakota. Yes. Do you understand how bad the mosquitoes are up there? I went to Saskatchewan. Not really. The worst place I've ever had. When it's cold. Houston, Texas.

But what I'm saying is frost is... There's so much water down there. And now, oh. Now down there? H-town. They were literally When we went teal hunting down there that time No no

After one of them hurricanes It's all the marsh All our Martians you know Phil In typical Phil fashion Got in my truck And said I'll go get the truck We was picking up decoys and everything

So he went and got my truck And when he come back What did Phil Robertson do? He had the ones roll down And left every door open Yeah Me and Jace killed mosquitoes In my truck

From Houston Yeah, all the way back to Monroe. Yeah. Six hours of kill of mosquitoes. He always leaves the door open. Yeah. He said if you leave the door open, they don't think you very far. He'll go up town somewhere and leave the door open.

Well, we was in the middle of a flooded cow pasture. Wouldn't nobody thinking we's close anyway? He said, they'll think I'm close. They won't mess with my truck. They sink to say they're picking up decoys if he's going to see. But that was miserable. The rice prairies down around Houston. That was, could you imagine?

That's where they need to do that show, naked and in front. They got them skeeters down there that's like as big as that cap. Oh, no, no. I mean, big. If you don't grab home to you, you think go airborne. So really, what are they got to do? What is, is it like that? I think the whole objective is don't die.

Don't what? They just, you just. Yeah, just as long as you don't die. No, you don't die, you are. Let's sit there. I got to watch it now. Can you starve for 21 days and make it? Yeah.

That's where they're at. you can find water you can live. Yeah. Unless I guess you're already really skinny. You take stuff where you? You get like one thing. Quick. One thing.

What are you taking? I already called a pot. Okay. One thing. I don't know. I'm taking my Bible because I may need some assurance that. He ain't making it. Yeah.

I don't know that I'm going to make it out of there. I'm going to take a pair of drawers with me. Well, then you're not. not naked. But you are afraid. Man, I won't be afraid. I'd be afraid to be naked. That's me.

I thought you was naked your whole childhood. Well, hey, I know, but that was when I was innocent. Okay. What are you not? You guilty? Yeah, I'm guilty. Of what? Whatever.

I'm interested in this. You guilt? What do you got? You need to get something off your chest? Of course I'm guilty. No. Hey, I'm just making sure. Naked and afraid.

So you buy yourself out there. I think, no, somebody's with you. Which is weird, right? Who's we? Some random human. Huh. I don't like that. I'm not the cartoon character, the little kid.

Oh, that one. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about? He's always walking around with something in his hand. What is? It's a blanket. It's a, it's a blanket. I was about to say, is it the line of, line of it?

I'm going to take a blanket with me. Y'all go out there and freeze your butt off all you want to. What if you're in the tropics? I'm out on that. That whole concept. Hey. But it's like... There's a amount of money, though, that would get you there.

Yeah, not for 21 days. I just, I don't think I could make it 21 days. I'm not mentally tough enough. I'm... I don't even know how many days into parenthood, and I'm ready to wave a white flag. So, I mean... Like, though, you got to go somewhere.

You just go out there. Tell me, I don't know nothing about it. They literally just drop you off, give you like a knife, if that's what your thing is. A knife. And say, we'll be back in 21 days. But, you know, not to be the guy that says reality TV, considering the fact we're sitting in a duck call room. But, you know, there's cameramen there.

So, I mean, they probably got Cliffbarks and stuff. Martin brought up a good point, and he admitted he's not tough enough. Uh-uh. I ain't there. I'm the same way. just like that show alone i love the show alone but i don't want to go be it no i'm not tough enough but i'm dumb enough and prideful enough to try well and fail miserably i'm greedy enough for right amount of money to give it a world but i just yeah man it's gonna need it's gonna need

it's gonna need to secure all the debt i have back here to make sure that my wife is taking care of. I mean, don't call it a cash prize, call it insurance. But you really don't know, because I've always said it's on a lot of things. You really don't know how much you can take until you're actually put to the test. That's right. I got a pretty good idea. If I'm naked in the tropics, I'm out. Yeah, that's a broke. That's a broken. I see your point because I just, you know, I look at people doing stuff like this and I said, no. If I'm naked in Kansas, I got a chance.

Kansas. I'm just saying if I'm naked in Costa Rica, I'm out. I'm about to get just ripped from the frame. I just don't want to be naked outside. You'd rather be naked inside? Yeah. If I'm going to be naked, I prefer one or two ribs. Do you like to be naked in a hot tub?

Yeah, absolutely. Godwin loves a good sulk. What? Yeah, I've got to get the... What's you laughing? Where did all this come from? I don't know. We just talked about.

Welcome to the nudity episode. It's a broken pencil. It's a broken pencil. I ain't got nothing to pin up. All of it's a broken pencil. Pointless. All right. Look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Trial's beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good.

It's our friend, Cy Robertson, would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef.

I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat either, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Did he bounce when he dropped him? I was asleep. I don't know.

Oh, okay. Wait, what? You dropped him while you were sleeping? Yeah. That's big time. How'd you do that? It's a funny story. He was tired.

I was tired, man. I was feeling like you are right now. We got to hear that. Boy, I hope not. I hope ain't nobody hear about this. So I went, so when we, you know, we, we only had one at a time. So it was a little easier than what Martin's going through. But I took, Allison would do the like midnightish shift.

Right. And so. That way she could sleep. Yeah. And then I would, like I said, here's the deal. Give me the miserable shift on all of our kids or the second two. I said, give me them to. And that way I could stay up or I could go to bed.

Like I just had to wake up at one. time. Mm-hmm. She would get like a solid seven hours straight and maybe six. But I took the miserable shift. And so then one night I stayed up too late, fell asleep for like 30 minutes. Well, then here it's time for the miserable shift. So I wake up, go, I change the diaper, swaddling back up.

And let me, Martin, if you ever need a professional swaddler? A swaddler. No, we on them sleep sacks. That's it. Is that the ones with the Velcro? Yeah, just like a sock. These got a zipper on them. I like that.

Drop them and kick down a little bit in it. So we had the Velcro, but I mean, I could. Oh, yeah, we got Velcro. I turned my kids into footballs. Like, hard as a rock, you could throw them wherever you wanted. And so then we had a chair in Benz's room. I'm feeding him. You know, I'm struggling.

I've been there, buddy. You got one finger on that bottle. He's sucking that bottle down. And then I fell asleep. and he's just, he's still eating. And he started rolling. I woke up and he's standing up,

but he, on the ground and just, boom, out of the chair, onto the carpet floors. And I was like, oh, that ain't a full blown drop.

Well, I mean, it was a, boom, boom, that was a teal. It was like, that was a,

that was a drop and roll. Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad he landed on his, whatever, his feet and then boom. Yeah. He looked at me,

and I looked at him, and I looked at him, and he was like, don't tell mom. Yeah. And he was like, can't and I was like perfect I can't just don't ever

so then I picked him up and he Alice was like why he's talking huh no he wasn't talking I watched my buddy Ben dropped his son William how far enough enough enough enough enough where I said alright I'm out of here

see later bro yeah I didn't know what to do because I saw the look on his wife's face I know how mean she is and I said uh-uh Mama bear. Your boy out. Mama's fury. Don't mess with it.

Boy, it was wild. Mama bear. But I mean, hey, I say this. He dropped that kid on his head. He just won student of the year. There you go. It ain't all bad. Maybe that.

Hey, they made out of rubber right now anyway. That is true. I mean, they're way tougher than I am. You got to be tough as a kid because people drop you and fall asleep on you. Yeah. Roll over them. Yeah. We finally got clearance to not wake them up during the night.

night, which is awesome. Except, like, last night I got, what, like three and a half hours straight sleep, which was fantastic. But then when I woke up at 4 o'clock, feed them, I couldn't go back to sleep. Now you're getting used to it. Now I'm like, well-rested at three and a half hours. I was so mad. And so then by the time we get up here, I'm back to, uh, whatever.

You look good. I don't feel good. So, it's just a, we got to get a shit. shift it's a shift and but well the problem is back to the matter that i don't have to i can get rid of all these ridiculous alarms on my phone now because there was one for like you know 252 552 i was pushing it to the end because that bottle warmer takes seven minutes to get its right temperature so like i was giving myself a minute to get up and get over and put that thing in that warmer so i got pretty good at it like i was trying to maximize time maximize now i just listen for them

Time, man. But, boys. Which when they did it this morning, they were very polite about it. They weren't even rude. Just train them up in the ways they should go. Yeah, they were just, ah, huh, ha. No, they're gnawing on his hand. I said, yeah, it's time, let's go.

He ain't training them. They're training him. Yeah, ain't no doubt about that. At this juncture. At this job. That's all right, I win in the end. They're in charge. Yeah.

But, boy, right now, they, yeah. No, it's good, though. I'm just glad I don't have to wake a sleeping baby. What if you had three? Huh? What if you would have had three? I mean, at this point, I don't know. You hire somebody, I suppose.

I mean, you figure out something to do. Wow. It's above my pay grade. Yeah. I would suspect you end up in therapy, too, to some extent. How's Brittany doing? She's doing good. She's solid?

Yeah. That's good. Yeah. She better at it at night. am she growling at you any of you oh we're growling at each other you've been in trouble lately have you gotten any trouble no yeah i don't know and he really don't care he don't even that means you had it and you don't even care i mean my deal is i'm just like look it's the same old deal right now somebody told me that had twins he said look just remember you love each other because here for a little while

you're not going to like each other at all so you know my uh my cousin her twins boys are Man, I got a lot of twins in my family. I just realized, I'm glad I, no offense, I'm glad I didn't have it. They had a rule. They're like 18 now or something. Maybe not. They're in high school. But their rule was nothing we say counts between like 12 a.m.

and 6 a.m. Because it got, apparently it got kind of rude. Yeah. I'm going to need to extend that window. Because I'm like, I'm like rolling at like midnight. Like I feel pretty good around midnight. It's from about 4 a.m. until about now where I'm really struggling.

It's, uh, no, it's good. It's fun. How old? I feel like they're like three months old now. Yeah, no, they're three weeks today. Three weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks.

How time flies when you're having fun. Is it? Because now, I mean, I know they three weeks, but now I don't remember a time without them. It's kind of weird. Like, it's all big. All that time's gone. Yeah. It's all.

consuming but are you going you're going when are you going hunting i'm going friday friday yeah to take a nap in the stand or you actually going to kill something sleep yes i don't yeah i may have i may have a weird alarm sitting they better hurry yeah they better get there quick because if i sit there for too long i'm going to be out i'm going to have a hunter safety system strapped tight yeah you better let somebody know where you are so we're blowing in the leaves better go wake If that tree gets a rocking just right? Oh, yeah.

It'll be a change to be the one being rocked instead of the one doing the rocking. I remember I used to sleep in them climbing stands. That don't seem very smart. But it had a rail. Climbers had rails on the street. Yeah, you had a, well, you used facing the tree. I'd turn around and face the tree.

I'll put your head on it. And put my head down on the deal. When I'd work gravy. I'd go climb up that tree and I was I was wondering if that was B.C. It was. I was wondering if you're sleeping off the night before. That too. B.C.

Yeah. Oh, man. Well, let's take another break. We'll be back right after this. Now, I want to buy. Martin. You just got a seen of black lynx. We're rolling.

Canadian link. Oh, are we on that? Well, hey, I just you, yeah. Hey, I'll show it to the people. I thought he was a dog, like you told him, one of them snowsers. What is it? A Canadian black link. Rare.

Very rare. Never been a picture of them before now. Until now. Until today. Done by somebody with a Motorola flip phone. Hey, easy, easy. Black Panthers don't hang out in iPhone country, man. They know.

Since you showed it, how much did that thing what? What would you say? That thing. Links? Thanks Greg for the photo from Central Illinois. He can't be bigger than 20 pounds, can he? I don't know. That's just a black box.

Come on, come on. Average size of a lynx. Look at it. I have no idea. I don't live where lynx is. I would say looking at him and I'm looking at him on Jayne's computer. Say links is 10 times real fast. Thanks is lynx is lynx is lex.

Size saying a lynx is 60 pounds. I have no idea. No, I don't know. 40 to 66. There you go. I was in the range, boys. But you know, Stone saw a black panther. Fis pump.

Where at? On field property. And he said he hates to admit it. You were having kids. Well, we was talking about it. He said, I hate to even say this. And he just. Yeah.

He said, I just seen a black cat with a big long black tail. Mm. Martin? Stone been drinking again. No? No, here's the deal. Here's the deal. A bobcat's got a longer tail than you think.

No. Yep. No. Hey. You've seen these bob-tailed porters. They're not just bobtail. A lot of bobcat is not bobbed. How long was the tail you've seen on a bobcat, long as long?

Oh, get out of here. Huh? Are we about to get in a fight? No. I hope so. I'm just letting them go at it. I'm too old to get in the fight. I'm letting the two old conjures.

No, no. Hey, I'm too old to get in the fight. I'm too tired to fight. I would do like they say on that, the young Western guys, the Pony Express guys, when you run up on Indians, you don't stand in fight. You run! Yeah. That's the way I am. There's a lot of bobcasts down there, and I've looked at them thinking.

I didn't think her tail was that long. We're just reporting what Stone told me and sigh. That's wild. And I was with the man. And if Stone's on our side, we might win a fight. But I just can't believe Stone was, he, he kind of backtracked and said it was, you know, Dan the Butler's house at, but I will use a number of you.

Where did he see him at? Huh? In a curve on Fields property? On the road? Always in a curve. It's always in a curve. Every time. Why would they go anywhere else?

Hey, look. It's nowhere. Everything's always on the curve. It's so bizarre. He was right down there. I made that curve. My headlights hit him and there he was, standing in the middle of the road. Naked and in a frame.

Every single time. That's right. But it's stone. And if they're not in a curve, they're in a thicket. I saw him. He was just going right through that. You couldn't get a shot. That's right.

Couldn't get a shot at him. He was in a thicket. But these men have shot button heads through thickets for 30 years with a 30-30 open sites. And they go there and they lay in right there. But all of a sudden a black cat get there, they can't shoot him. That's right. Because he ain't there. I just don't understand.

We're just reporting. How so many of them have been seen. Well, I got a done. None of them have been brought back. I got an analogy for you on that. What? Have we seen everything in the ocean? That ocean deep.

I know it. And this world's big. So Louisiana woods is so deep and so thicket that you can't crawl through it because I've tried it. It's so thicket you can't crawl through it. That's right. Can't crawl to it. So, hey, and you telling me that, hey, there ain't no black cats hiding out there in them tickets? 100%.

Hey, I don't believe you. Oh, there's black cats there. They're domesticated felines that got out. There's plenty of black cats. It's a cat, a house cat they threw away. Well, I didn't really throw them away. He never had a chance. That grew into a panther.

That grew into a panther. That's right. They grew into a panther. That's wild. I just don't understand how, with all the redneck. hunting in this country that have claimed to see them. Yeah.

They see them in curves, in headlights. And they see them on high lines? And they never, ever have a gun. Oh, no, no, they've had guns. I'd never seen a tailgate picture. Oh, no. Hey, they've had guns because I talk to a guy.

He's seen two of them. Anything else? Look, here's what I tell you. Anything else rare they see? They got a picture with it. Well. Hey, grounds what a day. Like a black squirrel, he dead.

That's right. And they show him to. A white skunk, he dead. They always got their gun on that kind of stuff. That black cat, they ain't ever got it. But what about Sasquatch? Would you shoot him? They ain't never seen.

Not these days because there's too many costumes being sold. I don't want to go to jail for manslaughter. See, so Sasquatch could be ready. Because the human race is stupid enough to put on one of those costumes that walk out of the wild. I've seen one, I've seen, I guess it was a panther. One time, years ago. He wasn't black.

He was deer colored. I saw one in Wyoming, very brown, very much scared me to death. And I realized that... That was a mountain lion. And I realized at that point, I had never seen one of those before. He was chasing a rabbit. Until I saw him, I said, no, I ain't ever seen him before. Yeah.

Okay. I know what he looked like now. Me too. Could I see him the black... But you know what was funny? He was behind a curve. He was in a curve. He was.

Hey. We made that curve on the... on that $200 road they call it up there, made that curve and that big mountain line sitting right there on his haunches in the middle of the road. And he said, your deer stands right down that way. Yeah, he said, no, we're going that way.

He went that way. I said, no, you lying to me. Oh, that reminds me the sighting that men feel had of the black purple. Oh, no. No, no, no. Look. What's with the groans?

No, no, look. Look, hey, Junction City, Arkansas. Louisiana State, Arkansas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Road. I've got to take everything here at extremely less than face value because at Junction City, this was Phil B.C. as well. That was B.C. This involved a lot of brown water.

Yeah. Y'all had a friend. Y'all. Well, hey, I wasn't ever been. Y'all wasn't involved in that brown water. It had been clear water up there. Hey, here's the deal. In a curve and a hill. Oh, no.

In a curve and a hill. And a hill. Oh. We're coming around a cold. curve and come down the hill and look down there on a dirt road this is a dirt road which runs for what yeah straight as a 70 miles straight as an arrow the only curve and i've been on that road except for a couple of curve we come over the hill around the curve coming down and hey there's something black running across the road so look we come just he stonped it you know what they call it

slides sideways okay and we're looking and hey there it goes over over the hill big long tail. I mean a big one. This was a big male. Somebody call Phil Robertson. But look, I'm just going to prove this point. You said that was on state line road at Johnson City. Arkansas. Look, look. Right there. Look at all them woods. Ain't no

way it's all been explored. Well, no, no, that's what I'm saying. All them, here. All them woods? All them woods. Oh, did touch that state line? Yeah. I just about guarantee you everyone them been clear cut. And it's grown back in a pine plantation.

Hey, go low into... Look how thick that is. In a perfect road. Yeah. Like, careful when you start using satellite imagery. Hey, this was back before they did all that. Oh, it was, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it's back in the woods. Look at all the woods. That's back in the 1900s. Yeah. Yeah. And Phil Robertson didn't have a gun with him. Yes, he did. No, yeah, he did.

Yeah, he did. He don't go anywhere without a gun. And yet he... Wasn't on a gun. He's one of the greatest woodsmen I've ever been around, and yet that cat slicked him too. Well, hey, he got away. They're elusive.

They're elusive. The man goes squirrel hunting barefooted, come back with 57 of them. Yeah. And a cat in the middle of the road gets away from him. I don't believe it. Excuse me. Yeah. I don't believe it.

He don't believe it, boys. Hey. Phil, squirrel hunts, barefoot? Bearfooted. Oh, no. I think now he wears socks. Chase does, too. No, no.

I was the one that done that, because I'll come in from my army on leave. Time out. Time out for what? Let's take a break. Let's talk about barefoot squirrel hunting. You can't go naked and afraid, but you can squirrel hunt barefooted. Oh, no, this is why I was saying you want to ever hear. How did y'all squirrel hunt?

How did you use to squirrel hunt? Now you sit on Kay's porch and squirrel hunting. When Phil was like 25, I'd be what, you know, two years younger. I'd be 23. I'm in the military. I'd take 30 days leave and come, you know, during hunting season. I brought a bunch of

old Army socks that I'd before. Olds, you know. Then gave him to Jay's. I gave him that stupid bombardier. Yeah, he used to wear all the time. That he used to wear all the time. Anyway, so look, he used to

wear socks, the Army socks. Because he could, he said, I can feel them little limbs that if you've, you'd just crack it. When it's cracked, It was the break, it cracked. He says, now, with them socks on it, I can feed it.

So look, he comes up every one of the night, and he says, hey, come on, let's go squirrel hunting. I found them. Now, that's when I was living in the Junk City. So we take off, go on the Arkansas, Louisiana State Line Road. Okay. He pulls over, you know, we get out, and he said, oh, we're about 50 yards apart. I done to step into woods.

He said, hey, oh, I forgot to tell you. And I said, forgot to tell me what? He said, for every squirrel, there's at least 10 to 15. 15 cotton mouse moxkins, you know, copperheads, whatever. You know, so I look, I've done took three steps in the woods. Okay, there is a copperhead and two water moxkins laying in like that. And I started to walk around them. I ain't got about an hour to dark.

I said, no, I'm going to have to walk back through here when it's dark. Boom, boom, boom. Blow them three's head off. So look, I get a hundred yards in the woods. It's starting to get down. dark. So they had cut this wood, clear-cutting, okay? Big pine tree stump on the edge of a hill where a creek runs through. So look, I sit down

and I keep turning, y'all. And every time I'm turning, bark off that pine trees falling down into the creek. Okay, there's been a flood and that about half of the roots of that stump is clear. So I keep hearing something. And I'll say, yeah, you know, bad here. You know, and I said, that sounds awful. close and I look down and just about two foot below me

coming up through the roots is about Congo as big as my bicep about four foot long. So hey I just jump up and say hey boom! Get back down in the water where you blown. So look, I literally

right then I said hey I better get out of the woods before it gets dark. So Phil's in the woods over there and he's done the shot three boxes of shells. Y'all, and he hears me, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom. So I finally get to the road, okay, this got dark, and I see the headlights.

He's already got the truck come up there. And he pulls up, yon, he's, boy, you tore them up, didn't you? I said, yeah. He said, how many did you kill? I said, well, I think I shot 27 times. And he said, well, if you got 27 squirrels, and I said, no, I got 27 cockmouse. Y'all, he said, you were shooting snakes, and I said, you better believe it. And I said, hey, next time you come here to a cunt, don't even bother stopping at the house.

I ain't going. And this was all barefoot? Huh? This was all barefoot? Oh, no, he was. Yeah, he was. He was, and he had about 40 squirrels with him. I showed up to work one year.

One of the other. I was back when he was down there at the mouth of Cyprus. I showed up to work, and Jay said, you sing my shoes over by your deer stand? I said, no, I ain't seen them. He said, I kicked them off somewhere. I don't know where I was. He got to chasing them squirrels.

Chasing them squirrels. And boys used to get mad dog made of the squirrel now. They did. Oh, the best one was when they hunted the migrating squirrels in Arkansas. Yeah, I've done that. I've seen that. Hey, shoes on, shoes off. Oh, shoes off.

And look. But you didn't need to. All you need to do, just sit down. Oh, no, no. It was a last you listened to. Because Phil, we'd get out the truck. He had disappeared through the woods, and all you would hear was, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Bo, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boop, boom, boom. Like the end of a song. And it just, finally, it would just fade away. He's done run seven miles and shot four boxes of shotgun shells. Chasing him, migrate and squirrel. Wouldn't it have been easier to get out in front of them? You can't get out in front of them now. You can't get out in front of them.

Fast, Martin. No, no, he told me. He ain't got no shoes on the run. Get on the downhill side of them. Look, I come walking up before daylight in the truck headlight, I got a new gun. I bought me a new brand new Marlin 22. Youngfield said, what kind of gun is that? And I said, 22, well, he busted out laughing.

All of them did. It was about three or four or something. they all got to live and he said, hey, we hunt migrating squirrels, son. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, hey, they never stop. He said, they just come through, running through the woods on the ground, on the log, or on top of the trees. They never stopped.

And I said, oh, get out of here. You know, squirrel ain't don't just run through the top of the trees and on the ground. So, yo, like I said, I hear him. He's done shot a box of shells running away from him, you know. Well, I'm looking, you know, I ain't seen nothing yet. you know then all of a sudden there's a log laying over there you know and hey three were just just wide open down that log well i didn't even raise the 22 i said okay so i got looking up wood show me here they go you don't let them go here come five more i find said well hey

you're gonna kill them you go out to shoot them run so time tae tae yeah okay got that one got that one you know i come up there and i had eight i had my limit come walking up and he had 57 but he had done shot five boxes of the shells like I said that was back in the day when hey he was a lawbreaker okay before I was BC before he come to Jesus law breakers oh to the match can I just tell you something about the sound effects you gave on that story were outstanding oh right you got to have sound effects for it was like an ending of a song That's it. He literally shoots his away out of hearing range.

So he, you shot eight with a 22 on the run? Yeah, on the run. And look, and hey. Don't shoot him in the head. I mean,

I should. Well, yes, you can. Miss Kaye get mad. Well, I know, but that's when you're shooting out of her yard. You know,

she don't like me sitting on the back porch in a rocking chair. And every once why, you're here. The chair is stopping you here. De-ya-how. I guess if you think about it at Kay's, which one is the back porch? Yeah. I have no idea.

What do you call the backyard? Yeah, she's done added to it, okay? It's mine in a circle porch. Yeah. I'm just wondering what she says. The back porch, the front porch, and the, what they call it, the kitchen on top of the hill. Yeah, the cook shack. Yeah, the cook shack has got a porch on it, too.

Yeah. A lot of porches down there. Depending on what tree there is, that depends on what porch I'm on. He had long chairs sitting on. So I had a chair. All right. There ain't but about 12 trees down there. So I have four chairs.

That's right. Hey. Strategically play. How many squirrels have you killed? Of her yard? Oh, Lord. I don't know. But that day he dropped that one on top of the duck haul building while we sitting there building up. Yeah. Yeah. You hear a psycho. You hear you hit. Boom. Right on top of our head. And build. Yeah. Right on top of the head. metal building. I said, oh, I got to break out the ladder.

It's on top of the work check, boy. Scared me to death. Because there's a big water oak tree right there by that old Tim building. So they get up there and cut them acres late. Inside just shot that thing. And it scared me to death sitting inside there. The best one, we look, we're in there. I'm doing the reeds.

They're all doing duck calls. And Jason is working on wood duck calls. And he, you know. And then, hey, next thing you do, he did it again, and a wood duck answered it. Sure did. Sure did. Three stories. I said, Jake, hit it again.

He did. And it's right outside. You know, and it's right outside. So, hey, I got out and just looked out, and there was two wood ducks sitting on the oak tree right beside our work shack. He had called them in from the river. They were flying down the river. Both of them come up there and lit on that oak tree, and they was talking each other. jace would do it they'd talk back he'd do it again they'd talk back that's a tree story and i said jace

i don't know where they come from but they were in that down jack i said because hey you called two off of the river and they're sitting on that stupid oaken limb if i had a 22 i'd kill both of them did you do you let them live no let them live didn't have a 22 and it was june but hey i just thought it was pretty cool that hey we done got the wood duck called down to them how come That's a great commercial. Because down here they still got young ones. Oh, what docks? Oh, they're here.

It's a great acre and crop this year. There's about a thousand. Oh, I know. Down there on the lake and on the lane. Well, good. Awesome. At least y'all have something. We still get three this year.

Hey, that's a duck hunt right there if you got five people. Because five times three is. And them things are good. Hey, Stone doesn't got it down. to where you think you're eating ribby. Yeah, y'all bring me some? No, never ain't any none left. Dang.

Yeah, ain't none left. Well, that ain't nothing. That's like one of the green winged till. Just had twins, man. You know, it took about two weeks to get them, and then he grilled 60 of them, 60, half breast, you know, and everybody's coming back to him,

Stoned, hey, where's the duck wraps? He said, you bunch of pigs, you done eight, 60. They ain't no more. You all cooked 60. Good peace. Oh, man. Well, let's take our last break. We'll be back right after this.

We're back. All right, we're back. Last segment. Mailbag segment. Hello. Hello. Is the email. Hello.

Johnny D. What's in there? I'm going to give you three choices. My subject line alone. We've got church. Okay. Relationship advice. Okay.

And I made my girlfriend cry. Dot, dot, dot help. Yeah, that one. I made my girlfriend cry about what? The subject line is I made my girlfriend cry. Okay, dot dot, dot. Let's go with that one first, then. Hey, guys, love the podcast.

This is Clay from Kentucky. Clay from Kentucky. Something about them boys named Clay. Clay from Kentucky. Oh, boy, making girls cry. Look, he lives in the country. They got a mice problem. So my family got some outdoor-only cats to help.

Yeah, barn cats. Yeah, barn cats. Oh, no. Oh, no. I don't know where this is going. All right, we have cat food out to keep them around, not much, just a little. As I'm sure you all know, everything's really expensive these days, even cat food. Anyways, recently a lot of possums have been helping themselves to the cat food.

To the cat food. Oh, yeah. After a few failed attempts, I grabbed my 20 gauge, shout out to sigh, and smoked one at three yards with my turkey choke in. hashtag dropped them he didn't put the hashtag I was pumped that I finally got one however I came inside to my girlfriend crying she had witnessed it all through the window

and she wasn't too thrilled with me not a country girl huh she's no city girl but she insists I'm a murderer for killing the innocent possum so he's got two questions would you kill the possum number two am I an animal murderer. Clay

from Kentucky. P.S. Black Panthers are real. There you go. That's why you picked that. Y'all picked it. Y'all picked it. I don't even know what to answer that. There's a bunch of possums eating the cat food. You've got to do something

about it. They're your cats. I got my own story on that. Mine wasn't possum, and I didn't shoot them. But it's the three biggest coons I've ever seen in my life. Christine loved cat, my wife. Sweet pey. And we got a whole bunch of them. The next door neighbor

had about 20 cats that she had. Well, Christine was putting cat food out on the front porch. You know, and she said, grief. I said, what? She said, I just bought that 50-pound bag of cat food yesterday, and it's gone.

It's gone. Y'all and I said, well, you're feeding 25 cats. No wonder, you know? So that night was sitting there and I heard a noise on the front porch and I was turned the light on. And I'm serious. These coons, okay, a coon normally weighs, oh, 15, 20 pounds, maybe a big one. Oh, this one might 80.

Oh, no, he's 75, three of them. Good night. I called them my Arnold Schwarzenegger Coons. 75,000. Okay, they look like they were on steroids. And I said, baby, hey, you got to, hey, quit buying that cat food. I said, this is dangerous. You ain't lying.

I said, hey, because them can't, them, them croons right there, a big one's out there. Okay. So are you allowed to shoot them? Hey. What's the rule, Martin? Well, hey, I just said, I ain't going to get into the shooting part. Okay. My man needs help.

He made his girlfriend cry. Quit making your girlfriend or your wife mad at you for shooting a possum. Okay. That's my advice to you. There's plenty of possums in this world. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what you say, baby.

I gotta take care of this problem. I'm gonna shut this door right here. Don't mind the noise. Three yards with a turkey joke seems aggressive. Yeah, let's go kick him. Like, he ain't, you can get you a point across to a possum without shooting him. I mean, was he gonna attack you? No.

There was a possum eating my dog food one time. They're a nasty animal. Yeah, very gross. I had to get one out of Britney's glove box of her car one day. I don't know how he got in there. I had one in the house in Alabama. And that was one day post-surgery. I'm serious.

In the house? In the house. Yeah. I had one. Possums are wild, man. They get lots of places. Well, no, no. But hey, look, whoever owned the house before I bought it had cut a little hole to do something with the plumbing.

And all he had done was put a little door. And got a crawl space out there. Yeah. And put it in there. We had that happened last year at our duck camp up in Arkansas. Except you know, it wasn't a possum that got in there. What? Scump.

Oh, I see more. Family of skunks, and then he got trapped. Oh, no. My wife is using the restaurant, the bathroom. Uh-oh. And she comes walking out. She's behind sleep, okay? She says, hey, you need to do something about that rat in the bathroom.

And as a possible. Was it about the tub drain? Is that where they cut the hole? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So look, I go in there. Same thing that got us. No, no, look.

I'm looking and I'm saying, darling, and then the rat, she said, what is it? That's a big old possum. Yeah. So I pick him up, all he's done is play possum. Yeah, that's what he should have towed his girlfriend. Oh, that is. I'd been a good line.

She said he was playing possum. Yeah, that's what he should have said. Oh, baby, he's just playing. So one time a possum was messing with my dog, and I kept shooting at him and miss. Then I got a softball. I didn't miss with that. I drilled him. Then another time my dog killed a possum in the backyard.

I walk out, my dog's going nuts. He's a bass there, and he's just jumping up and down on it. I said, oh, no, this is a problem. Well, maybe he was giving a CPR. Not, well, and then I walk up and I'm looking at this possum, and I'm like, I'm about to pick this thing up and go throw it in the woods, right? Because, I mean, it's dead. But then I said, what if it's playing possum?

That's right. And I'm going to pick it up and it's going to go. Yeah. Something tell me, Dublin doesn't got to squeaker out of him. Yeah. Well, I shot him just in case. It won't be hissing. And then I throw them over the fence.

Now, a possum is a nasty animal. I don't care what anybody said. He a nasty animal. I've seen him crawl from places he shouldn't. Oh, me and you both. And he's got the most teeth of any North American mammal. Yep, he does. Is that a true statement or just...

It's true. He does. Yeah, he got the most teeth of any North American mammal. They're very ugly. I only know that because when I took game mammals and fur bears in college or something, that was one of the first things you learned. And hey, fur ain't worth nothing. Possums.

Ain't much of it. 50 teeth. Yeah. Oh, he's got a set of teeth on him now. Anyways, Clay. You're fine. apologize to her. I mean, say, look.

Yeah, don't do it in front of it. And next time, say, why don't she go back to the bedroom? Yeah. If you just feel the need of stuff out of possum. You just tell her to go get, hey, would you go get my... Also, take a step out. Yeah. Did that possum explode?

Yeah. Just go grab him by the tail next time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. With a turkey choke. Yeah. From three yards? I've done that.

Hopefully that was a typo. And he meant... I've done that to an armadet. just had a spike because me and him was having a pretty good battle and I finally caught up to him. I saw an armadillo. He's an armadillo. I chased an armadillo the other day because I was going to kick it. They're bad about digging holes in your yard.

Yeah, and tearing up sprinkler lines and everything else. That's why I chased him. As I said, I took off and I was going to kick the fire out of him. Let me tell you something. They're quick. You better have a good boot on. Don't keep him with tennis shoes. He wins on that extent.

Maybe it's a good thing I did. He got pretty good teeth too. Pot? Armadillas? Yeah. He's got some real good claws. He's got some real good claws on his thumb eggs. He got claws and armor.

You can't grab his tail and pull him out of a hole. No, he's stronger. I tried that. Yeah. I have too. With a glove on because, you know, you hear that deal about leprosy or whatever. They carry their carriers of leprosy. Well, I was a kid.

Weird. You got one more, yeah. I got one more? One more. I think this one's probably an easy answer, but it's also kind of deep. I like it easy. Mr. No idea.

G.L. G.L emails in. I know him. Here's his question. His son has made a Bombers baseball team. He's eight years old and really enjoys it. All right. Little late.

Problem is tournaments are on weekends, which includes some Sundays. We go to church every Sunday and Wednesday night. Good thing. But my church feels. that baseball isn't a good reason to miss church. Thoughts? Travel baseball? I'm assuming.

Yeah. You can go to church out of town. Yeah. You don't have to go to your church every time. Oh, I was going to say, not only that. But if it is. You go to the building, it's a building. Yeah.

You can have church with your team. Yeah. You can have church with your team. Lead a devotional for the eight-year-old. There you go. Have church on Sunday mornings with your kids. You'll get more investment out of that than you will probably go into that building. And here is the truth of the batter.

Here's where the rubber meets the road. Rubber meets the road. If your kid sees that baseball is more important than Jesus, he'll see that. Yeah. But if your kid sees that Jesus is more important than baseball, he'll see that. And there's no correct answer. Hey, I've missed church for a Saints game. They lost. Shocker.

Yeah. I'm okay with that. I've missed church for them Judas ducks. You're getting ready to leave and a big bunch of them coming. man right there and you're like oh we stay in another 30 minutes now and then you don't kill squat i can't tell you how many times i've done it on sunday morning oh yeah oh yeah i've done it it comes down to your heart yeah and it's very important that your kid sees what's most important in your life if your kid thinks little league's more important than jesus that's a problem yeah

100 percent i think it's a cool opportunity to do something with those kids to have a sunday-school esk type service for those kids at the ball field. And you can do it wherever you want. And most coaches. And invite everybody that I've been involved in. We're going to have. God fear and me. Yeah.

Okay. Because we said prayers before the game. A lot of them have to be because them coaches need forgiveness. Yep. For yelling at a referee. Oh, yeah. Well, what's our first? Some of them parents, too.

Some of them parents. That's crazy. Anyway, I think the, I think the, I think, we're all in agreement. Yeah. You can do Little League, but you know what your priority is. All right, I got two verses for the possum killer. All right.

Here we go. Here we go, boys. I'm going to give you two of them. I'm going to have to do with a jawbone. This is that Bible verse, them people that made that last Jurassic World should have read. All right, Genesis 1,26. Then God said, let us make mankind in our image and our lightness so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the bird. birds in the sky over the livestock and all the wild animals and over all the creatures that move

like a possum along the ground. We're in charge. There you go. Proverbs 1210 though, whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel. You don't need to be cruel to animals just because you're in charge of them. But he's looking out for his beast.

Exactly. So there's your two verses of how we should treat animals. We're in charge. Treat them with respect. Amen to that. All right. We'll see y'all next time. Right here.

See you next time. All right.