Duck Call Room - Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Even though Phil is getting old, he’s still got it when it comes to culinary criticisms. Si once had his critique of his wife’s cooking backfire big time, and Stone spills the beans on why the Robertson men, especially Si, are such loudmouths. John-David dishes about his wife’s recent kitchen flop, and Martin is far too frightened to ever cook for a Robertson. Stone attempts to get John-David onto the jiu-jitsu mat, and Si sells the sport as if he’s got firsthand knowledge. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. Everybody welcome producer Hunter back. He's back from his modicum vacation for day dates with... Still no Hunter Cam for good reason. Still no Hunter Cam. Today, there's a better reason for that. Hunter, do you have a good couple of day, Dave? We're not going to, we're not going to bud into your life.

I did ask him yesterday. Hunter does, he is the proud, not owner, but he's... Owner of a girlfriend? Well, yeah, I was trying to think, like, I don't know. He's got a girlfriend. Hunter's back off the market. He's off the market.

And she might be a vampire. Hunter, how are you? I'm good. Good. He's not going to make it. I ask you to bring her up here to meet the family today. It's a little too early for that. A little too soon.

She said on her next trip, she'll come by. Okay. All right. Well, there you go. So right now, y'all are going to date in long distance and all the things. She's going back to North Carolina. You're staying here. That's tight.

Oh, I made long distance work for a long. Someone's got to keep doing chores around her mom or mom's house. There you go. There you go. I like it. He's a good guy. You should see my weird way I fixed her porch stairs.

Is that where you hurt your neck? Anyway, my date went really well. Yeah, it did. Well, since you're spending time with the mother there, Hunter, okay. That's what your future wife will be like. You're right, she's going to become like a stubborn old lady eventually. Oh, wow.

Call your new girlfriend, a stubborn old lady. She will. Give her a little time. She will become an old lady. That was he. Her mom is a little stubborn. I love her to death. She's a little stubborn.

Yeah. Well, we all are. I let me tell you something. So will you be. The older you get, the more, the more set you become. Trust me. I'm turning into that. My cousin Heath did tell us that when we were all like,

He was older. And like our youth ministry, he said, look at her mom. She will become that. Yeah. Well, that way you can't ever say I really didn't know. Yeah, you did. You looked at the mom. You spent time with the mom.

Okay. You're dating. Does that check out for you? Well, about 50-50, I imagine. Mine's half Robertson, half Gibson. So, coin tolerance. Well, you got the best of both words. I guarantee you.

Why? I guarantee you. I got me a good one. Yeah. Yeah, you got the best bird. She got gypsy blood in her. Yeah, she's nuttier and a squirrel tired. Oh, man.

Nottier than a squirrel turtide. Lord of me. Unreal. It's good to have Hunter about. Yeah, it is good. I'm glad you're back, Hunter. I'm glad everything went swimmingly for you, but I felt like our people are invested enough that they were going to want to know how it.

I don't know why people are so invested in it. I never understood that. It's an ongoing saga. Yeah, I guess none of us have any love interest at all. Yeah. Like, that sounds awful to go on a date. So you're the one. Yeah, you're the one still out there in the pool.

Yeah. We kind of get to learn through you where something tragic were to happen to one of our women. Should we decide we want to do that again? You know, I'm out, by the way. So. He said, hey, me once, that's it. I'm done. I will be.

Y'all have met the only Mrs. Martin. Oh, okay. If I had to go back into that, she'd either be way older than me, like uncomfortably older than me. Yeah. Or I'd just be like down at a lake somewhere, being a hermit. Yeah. Yeah, you'd be looking like Coach O, man. Walking around.

I'd go to work on a shrimp boat. Yeah. Sounds better. Can I ask for advice, though, from you guys? Oh, boy. Okay. Sure you can. So you can lose the Band-Aid.

It's not tricking anybody if that was your question. Yeah. You have a food in my heart. Okay, what do you need, honor? How can we help you? Okay, so my parents aren't her biggest fan. They don't really like her that much. Whoa.

Does she listen to this? No. Make sure she doesn't. No, she knows this. Okay. It's no secret to anyone. So how do you deal with that? The first question is, why is that?

I asked this yesterday. You already had this conversation? In the lobby. It made Hunter very uncomfortable. Well, I'm a little confused because how long we've been dating this young lady, Hunter? So, see, this is where it takes the twigs. All right, not to be a chronic overshare. But you are.

But I am. So I knew this girl back in high school, and we dated for a little bit. And then I kind of screwed that up a little bit. And we're not dating anymore. Fast forward five years. We start talking again. We decide, you know what? We're both growing up now.

Maybe we can give it another go. And from about five years ago, her and my dad had conflicting views on stuff. And my mom always thought that she was kind of. Five years ago. Yeah. Oh. I know what the conflicting views were. Yeah.

Yep. Five years ago, that's an oddly specific time. Yeah. Right around November. Yeah. There it is. Here it is. There it is. Are we right? Are we on the right trail? Just on certain things. I've got a problem with this for one reason. Okay. If the woman that I choose to spend time with does not like my parents, she probably ain't going to last long.

Well, she likes my parents just fine. They just don't like her. Dick her staying like Ma and Paul. Well, she was more scared than anything else. I don't blame her. I don't know. I'm serious. But, you know, my mother had told her because, you know, I was very immature.

You know, so me and my mom was like this. Okay. I'm the baby boy. So anything that has to do with anything, I always talk to mom. Mm-hmm. So I actually talked about mom and, you know, about my, hey, well, I'm thinking about married this woman. Yeah.

Yeah. So I just look and I tell Christine a lot of the times, you know, what did you think about when I, I'm going to go talk to my mom? He said, well, hey, you told me how close you was with you to your mother, so it didn't bother me. Yeah, we're all mama's boys. Yeah. Yeah.

So, hey. But I just, you know, if, if a woman, you know, you know, you know, you know, it's stupid enough to say I don't like your parents no she likes them she likes them the parents don't like mom don't like her because she tends to lean a certain direction I didn't say she leans in a certain direction just just has some conflicting views um

she's from 7-1-292 originally uh farmable yeah but just sounds like you know they got they got issues that they you know she needs to talk about They're going to have to iron them out. My mom always thought that she was a little mean. And she is also. Wait a minute. You need a girl that's a little mean. That's honesty. All they all are a little mean.

He said they all are a little mean. Okay. All women are a little mean. Well, yeah, because Hunter like a lot like us. Like somebody going to have to send their food back and it ain't going to be him. Like Hunter order it with no mustard. He's going to eat mustard, you know. They're going to spit on.

He's going to be like, okay. That's fine. But whatever they bring. It's what I'm eating or I'm going home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm just saying it sounds like your parents and this lady needs to sit down and, you know, work these issues out. Yeah, I probably wouldn't do that right away.

No, yeah. I'm just saying, though. Hey, I agree with you. It's not at the moment. You three people need to work this out. Oh. Because I'm fine. You know, I'm thinking about keeping her around.

Uh-huh. And I'm tired of buying Band-Aid. Yo, and hey, yeah. Man, Thanksgiving is going to be awesome. Yeah. You just move on. Okay, I'm curious. You don't go down that road.

I didn't ask this yesterday because I wanted to be surprised today. I don't, in the back of my mind, I would be having some issues myself. Oh, yeah. Well, there's different levels. Look, if you don't get along with my parents, okay, guess what? We're going to probably spend a little time around my parents. Well, hey, we wish you the best, Hunter. I appreciate it.

Good luck, honey. Yeah, good luck. You're going to need it. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here.

And that's because of our friends over at Triedels beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store. do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from.

But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. look salt pepper garlic hot fire that's all you need look because i tell you what when the beef comes

from people who raise cattle for a living you can taste the difference the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic so if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season go check out try tails beef i know in size case christine loves it which is just a uh she doesn't eat me yeah just go to try beef dot com slash that's try beef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak i smoked a pork belly for supper last we go was one of the finest one of the finest thing i've ever cooked they smoked pork belly you ever done one of those big old block of bacon golly man that's good last i cooked it about 1.95 had a nice barc on. I put some of that Japanese barbecue sauce on top of it.

This was last night? Last night. I had the exact opposite experience. Oh, man, it was good. What did you have? You're going to drink a lot of water or you eat a pork belly. Yeah. Yeah, you got water here.

Yeah. Especially when you slap that Japanese barbecue sauce, which is so good. Oh, man, it's good. No, I walked in the house last night and immediately knew something was wrong. Would y'all have sprouts? No. No, I walked in. I said, what's for dinner?

she said, you'll see. I said, nope. Uh-oh. This is a bad deal. She already knows I don't want it. Yeah. She tried some new crock pot recipe. Oh.

Hmm. It was terrible. Really? Yeah. Carter was the only one that ate it. Then she got mad at me because I fixed a tiny bowl. I was like, there's some hot dogs in the fridge. We're about the microwave.

No fall back. Hot dogs. And she, I made four hot dogs, two for me. Each kid a hot dog that wasn't eating. that garbage. And then she looked at me and it's like, I mean, and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, I said, you can't be mad at me

because you made something that you don't like. Oh, she didn't like it either. No, everybody knew this is bad. Well, it was in it. It was some sort of cheese, ravioli, and there was sausage. I said, what kind of sausage is this? Had that messed up?

Oh, it messed up. It was weird. Was it Italian sausage? No, it was like hibasa or something. Ooh. I said, this is like being a sausage. Oh, no good. Yeah, you just chucked.

Those wrong sauces. And then she tried to save it by throwing chicken in there. It was like, no, we're just wasting chicken now. I don't. You just waste the chicken now. Yeah. Yeah. She starts.

And she was mad for a minute. And I was like, I got it. I can't eat this again in life. She sounded like Willie. Let's just try. Let's throw something else in there. See if I'll say. Yeah.

Yeah. Add another, add another level to it. Yeah. What does Phil call him a slum gullum gullas. The slum. Gulash man. Gulash man. Well, let me tell you something about, about my woman.

I of course growing up around Phil I always heard that if a woman cooked something bad you better tell them that's what I had to do or you'll keep serving you bad too they're going to cook it again they expect you to eat it well guess what that didn't work with my wife she cooked a roast and overcooked it yeah no I didn't go overboard and talk about how terrible would do like Phil throw it out to the dogs you know I didn't I didn't pull that move all I said was the flavor is good, but it's a little dry.

Yeah, you cooked it too on. You know how, when I got my next meal from her? Still waiting? A year later. Over a year. A lot of people can't take criticism.

Well, she made it known that not only can she not take criticism, but she wasn't, she, she ain't going, she ain't playing that game. Well, no, no, because I'll say,

but say, you know. It's a good thing she didn't make the dressing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, here we go. We're about to go down that dressing. I'm just saying. Hey, look, I dress is sacred, boys.

Hey, look, I say this. Nan never struck me as a main dishmaker, but she, she's slaying him sides. Oh, no, no. No, no. Man can swang him side. That's her deal. Yeah, baking. Yeah, Nan can slang inside.

Bies or baking a cake. Yeah. because she don't just, you know, and that's a Robster trait. You always are making it better. Yep. Always. You ain't making what Allison made this night better. You don't, you don't just say, okay, here's what I'm going to cook,

and you do it the same way every time. Now, that's out. You always try to upgrade it and make it better than it. A little bit better than it was. Did the recipe call for kiosasa? Yeah, that's what happened. Yeah, see, you got to learn to substitute that right off. She didn't know what kibasa was, so she just went with it.

Bossa's like Polish sausage, right? Is that? It's trash. Yeah, it's not very good. You know, I was fix it. You got to watch sausage. That's right, because, you know, one of my favorite things used to be was in the little pigs in the blanket. With the little smokies in there, you know, with a little sauce.

Well, I was at house church one time. This is years ago we were at Gawin's house. And I saw them little pigs in the blanket. And I said, let me try one of them. I picked that thing up. took a bite out of it, and I said, well, something ain't right. And I looked in there, and it was a Vianni sausage. Oh, no.

Inside of the pig, of the, of the, of the, of the, of the, of the, of the roll there. Yeah. It's a very easy recipe. So that just, that just goes to show you. You put the wrong sausage in something. Oh, kill it. You'll kill it. Yeah.

And they're vire. Especially a pig and a blanket. Well, that was just somebody that can't cook. So all they did, it was a can't buy a sausage and put it in there and wrapped a blanket. Now there's a place, there's a place in time for vinyl sausage, but that ain't. That ain't. It's called on the, it's called on the boat. Yeah, yeah.

It's talking about, hey, when you're out in the woods for two weeks and you're about to die in and you need them. All right. With some cheese and it's pretty good. You warm it up a little bit. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah. But, hey, now. Yeah, that would have been a, yeah.

If I ever bit into what I thought was a crescent roll with a pig in a blanket and it was a vineyard and a sausage, I would throw up. Oh, no, no. That's like my mom and dad. That is false advertising. Mom and Daddy was both mad scientists when they got in the kitchen. There was always cooking something, they was always trying something new. Well, we wanted some ice cream, homemade ice cream. Well, they made some, what, I can't eat.

I know this story. Yeah, butterscotch. Yeah, butterscots. They made some, so look, as soon as I, you know, it got ready and they dipped it, you know, handing me a bowl, you know,

I took one little, one little, just, I mean, one little dip off the end of a spoon. And, no, I said,

that crap ain't no good. Mm-hmm. Okay, so all the rest of the Roblesons ate the whole boat, and they were sick for two weeks. Two weeks. Something was wrong with that crap,

and hey, bad butterscats. Hey, butterscots. Don't make butterscotch ice cream. me it ain't no good. Because I'll tell you, all of them were sick for about anywhere from a week, seven days to the 14 days.

And I mean, I'm talking about throwing up diarrhea or everything. So whatever they're done, no. I was just glad your mother-in-law dropped me off from chicken and dumpling. Oh, no, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, Lisa brought me a bowl up here. I said, look at here.

Well, she can make them dumping. Well, I fixed that now, the woman, that woman can cook. That's right. Yeah, Lisa said here, I thought, At least the Robertson can cook. Well, where do you think Al got that figure? Oh, no, I'll fix it. That's why that vest is a little tired on Al all the time.

When he sits down at the table, it's accurate. Oh, she can do it. That makes your cord bread she makes is bad to the bone. Allison can cook, but she's on some mission to find crock pot recipes at work. And I'm thinking about... Well, it's easy. You just throw it in there and turn it on and leave it. So she wants to find stuff that's good, but...

Yeah. I mean, we ain't done it yet. Yeah. Nothing? Like one roast was good. But I'm thinking about just showing up in the crock pot. We do it at least once a butt that Mississippi chicken stuff. Oh, yeah.

It's the same roast deal, but you just use chicken. Those flavors. Just fixed that. You can put meat balls in there too. Most people screw up roast by cooking it too long. Well, they don't pick the right piece of meat to put in there. You got to get that good chuck. Well, I'm just saying, but if it's bad, it's always like you're talking about, it's dry.

Yeah. Okay. and a roast, a good one, it's not dry. But that Mississippi. It's moist and it melts in your mouth if it's right. I got a couple that I can slide you that are actually good in a crop pot. One of them is called Mississippi Chicken. The other one is called, it's like Mexican-style pooled beef or something.

Well, no, that's like. It's basically a roast with like Mexican flavors in it, like chili powders and cumin. That's like fiel. Orianders and stuff. What do you call it? That chicken he cooked was garlic. Oh, sticky chicken. Oh, sticky chicken.

Yeah. The first time I mean, when I opened the pot just to see what he was cooking, I mean, I just worked good. You know, he got pods of garlic and just cut him in half. I mean, they was big as a tangerine. Yeah. And the book, look, I'm serious, the bottom of the pan was covered with half, half, you know, He probably put in 12.

That's sticky chicken. And I said, I'm not going to be able to eat that. I said, man, that's just a little too. Well, I ain't to my surprise. It wasn't that bad. And it was really good. I got a report yesterday. It shocked me that that much garlic was decent.

I found that refreshing, though, that Phil still got his critique of cuisine down. I won't ever cook nothing for that man. Period. It was a tough task. If I did, I wouldn't ask him if he liked it. I'd just leave before I ever found that. I did walk out. I sit on a porch and call them.

I said, hey, I put something on a porch, and then I just leave. That's why I want everybody looks at it. What did you bring? I said, I don't bring nothing. Except the appetable. Hey, I don't do it because of one reason, okay. I cook for me. I'm not cooking for you.

I cook for me. Okay. So, hey, it's cooked to my flavor. I like chili that's running. because I like to put crackers in it. Oh. Yeah, well, I brought chili down that one time, and look, the flavor is excellent.

Excellent. Okay, the flavor on it is excellent. But, hey, Phil likes his where, hey, you know, it don't run. No, it's like mortar oil, okay? It's too thick to run. Yeah, just like his coffee. Just like his coffee.

Phil ain't a runner. I brought it there there. He looked there, hey, he stuck in a ladle in there. done this and then poured it out he said you throw that crap out i said no you just don't eat it i said hey that's for me it ain't for you phil ain't never ran for nothing well you know jurgy joe he brought some chili to the house one day and where he messed up well he put his pot of chili right next to lisa's pot of chili that's where he messed up yeah no no yeah so i took i didn't know who made what so i thought it looked a little strange you know

But I took a bite out of it and I said, hmm, I said, this here ain't much. Ain't no flavor. And you'd have thought I'd have punched him in the face. Oh, no. He thought about it was actually. Poor mouth and his chili. He said, well, you're talking about that's northern chili. I said, that's meat soup with no flavor.

Yeah. All that is. Meat, soup. Yeah. I need Allison to watch this and realize how nice I was about how bad that was last night. Well, no, no. Hey, look, you know, just, you know. People don't realize, okay.

You told him it was neat suit. Of course, Al got a big kick out of it, and everybody laughed. Everybody laughed set for Lisa. She was mad at me for being rude. Oh, for getting the wrong chilling. But I blame that that sort of critique on you and Phil. Y'all rubbed off on me too much. And I guess I could have been a little more.

What's the word? I'm looking for. No, no. No, no. No, because, hey, no. Oh, no. If you, if you eat garbage and say it's good, then you're going to eat garbage every time that guy's that.

Every time I took a bite last night, I was thinking a sigh just right here in my ear going to rest of your life if you say it's good. You missed it on that. No. I'm just telling you. Well, you're right. And it's not, we don't mean to be mean or cruel. Oh, that's right.

That's what I told you. Hey, look, you cook food and it's horrible. I'm not going to lie to you. You don't need to cook nothing. No, now see, when it comes to my woman, I ain't going to be that. Well, no, no, because that's why I'm saying it, okay. I got to, whatever crispy, I eat it, okay.

Sometimes if it ain't up to par, I say, babe, I don't know what you did. You missed it. You missed it. There you go. Yeah. Which is all you got to say. And I don't palate it.

I ate it. Yeah. I just said, hey, I don't know. what you did. I don't know if it was the ingredients you used. Don't do it again. Something, but that was not your normal move. But I will say this, I don't think there's any danger of him, of Joe bringing chili back to the house. There you go. After that happened. Now, we laugh about it and talk about it now. You know, bring them duck meatballs next time. But I want to tell you what, everything else that I've had that he cooks is really good. I have a thing to say.

Really good. The man with a red sauce can do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The sauce is a hot. You know, most people are too sensitive about their cooking. Okay, look, sometimes you're just going to cook it and it don't turn out. It's true. The meat you chose was wrong. It's a lot of things going into it to play. But hey, you know, it's not being mean. You're bringing food to somebody that is used to eating.

It is kind of mean. Very good food. You're really crowding the line. Yeah. There's a way to do it. Well, I was successful last night because Allison then finally said, yeah, it wasn't no good. Yeah.

She was going to get the left one. Well, hey, most people were I. Does anybody want this before I thought? No. When you tell them, hey, look, that wasn't one of your better dishes. Well, if I'd have been smart about that thing with that roast with the wife, I'd have said, well, them jeans sure do look good on you. By the way, next time, let's cook that roast about an hour less.

if I'd have been smart that's what I would have said so she was really close to make a burn end oh yeah but the flavor was good the flavor was good them them pepperon tini's and that ranch seasoning in there you know the other problem was I saw Allison's grocery order yesterday and there was three New York strips on it so I also thought I was going on walking into steak and vegetables so I was you thought she'd been on that flat top Yeah, and I walk into the crock pot. And I'm like, oh, uh-oh, nope. She put the strips in the crock pot?

No, no, that's the grittle. She cooking the strips tonight. I just had the dates confused. Oh, I got, yeah. Yeah, she needs to eat good. Tonight, no, she was. Makeup meal tonight. Cut that little sliverer gristle off the end of that strip before you eat it.

Oh, no, I'll save that for the end, just chew on it while I'm watching. Yeah, beef bubble gum. Heck yeah, man. I'll know on that sucker. Oh, that's one thing I can't take as gristle. Oh, man. I love fat, but that gristle. I love a New York strip.

I do, too. The older I got, it's become my favorite cut of meat. It's a good one. I meet two of them tonight. Two of them. I'm hungry. You ever get holed up a prime strip? Mm-hmm.

Boy, they... Wagyu strip, too. Oh, yeah. I've eaten them all. Even better. I just get one from the mall. Well, since you weren't too bad and she disagreed, at least you ain't got to stop by, like, Crumbull or nothing, take her cookie to make up for it.

See, that's the deal, like, Sa got to have makeup stuff for his, you know. Well, that's because Saigo's too hard to paint. Yeah, but he's America's favorite uncle, so nobody holds it against him, right? Look, hey, if you eat something I cook, it's not, I didn't cook it for you. What's life like being able to say whatever the heck you want to, nobody gets mad? It's got to be amazing. Because that's where you're at now. I know, I know, but I don't understand it, you know, because they all, they all bad-mouthed

Phil, they all bad-mouthed, Jace, Billy, all everybody, you know, they don't ever say nothing bad about me. Yeah. And I said, hey, I'm a Robert St. Nope. Nope. No. It's something about, hey. Boy, it's tough being a baby, ain't it?

I'm telling you. We've all, everyone under this roof that has ever been on any sort of camera has had somebody just ream them out in a comment except for Si. Yeah. Nobody's ever gone at Zai. No, the only thing people say anything, the only thing people say about size sometimes they say he talked too much. And I'm like, well, it is a podcast. So there can't be any breaths of silence in here. I've heard people say he talks over people,

but y'all got to understand. The first time I ever went to the Robertson House, the whole family was there, and they were playing dominoes, okay? And when you talk about some loud, so yelling, domino slamming. Breaking tables, waking fingers. And the first thing I noticed was,

if you wanted to say something, You had to be louder. You had to speak up. Louder than the person that was doing the talking. You got to take charge as a situation or you're not going to be heard. They didn't think anything about talking over each other. That was just the way they worked. Yeah, that's just conversation.

The fact that we've had, I don't know how many successful podcasts come out of the Robertson and Duck Commander, because we can actually somehow try and take turns in here. It's kind of impressive. Yeah. Because every once in a while we do this right here, where we're seeing. If me or I can be. What gets me is, is the stuff we come up with, and the way it flows is totally amazing.

It's all downhill, man. It never stops. Path of least resistance. It never stopped, and it just keeps going. And then sometimes we come up when they ask for advice, and like me, I was shocked. Yeah. That's a real chase compliment.

Y'all shocked me, all of you. We can't give advice. more though to Hunter because Beth than here now. But hey, it's so funny, it's so funny because some of the stuff we told was excellent advice. I'm talking about it. I'm going, this is some guys that are not too bright. That's because all our eyes are brown. Yeah, we're just saying what we.

Yeah, we got brown eyes. We're saying what we think we should do, not what we did. That's the way you give the best advice when you know what didn't work. Yeah. Let me tell you what didn't work that. So you may want to try this. So, but, you know. Yeah, the only time I got in trouble last night, I said,

where did you even get that recipe? Pinterest. That was where I got. That's where a many good recipe go to die. That's a terrible place for recipes. I said, just follow the pioneer woman. I got something I'm going to give you a wife. I appreciate it.

That they're pretty solid. It's a whole box of crock pot nails. I don't believe in it, but I will try it. No, it's. And I will have a backup hot day. Now, some of them are, right. Look, don't bad mouth crockpies because, hey, this thing cooks some mean stuff.

sometime in a crop lot. We have not figured it out. I mean, I mean, the flavor is excellent, it's tender, it's good. That's what I'll tell you, that once a month that Mississippi chicken stuff is good. When we cook stuff good, it's at 900 degrees. That's like Phil's chicken chicken chicken. Oh, pizzas. You would think that much garlic would ruin it.

Yeah. And it amazed me that nope. I am working. It wasn't too much. What you got to remember is when you didn't with a woman, though. it only takes one bullet to kill a horse. So don't. Well, you know the saying don't beat a dead horse.

Yep. You know, once you say it, that's it. Get off. That bullet has been fired. You fired your shot. Yeah, you can't take it back. And it's over. It's over. Leave it along.

Yeah, get off of it. Yeah. Yeah. Moving on. Yeah. That's when you go to crumble. Depend on how big of a bullet you hear. Yeah.

I can't eat that place. Yeah, you can't, but she can't. Oh, boy, it's so good. That's funny. Oh, man, I love it. Man, I got to say, Johnny Dee, I'm impressed with your transformation. The trans.

I saw, you know who I saw yesterday? Who? David Martinez. Oh, yeah. Oh, he called me and told me he was going to the honey hole. He bought a fishing pole to go. He lives on the bayou. What's that?

What people are to jihitsu place with? Well, and he said, Yeah, he came in right after I have. Yeah, he's a purple belt. I'm not going to wrestle him. He came in right after I had, we'll call it a unruly customer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

One of them. Yeah. You know, if you ever worked in retail, you're going to be having a great day. And then one person's going to come in there and just take a dump right on your counter. That's not what literally happened, but figuratively it did. And so then I was like, man, I said, I was about ready to wrestle. And then you showed up and I knew I should. He said, well, you need to come to Jiu-Jitsu.

And I was like, no. I said, Stone once put me on the ground in two seconds. Well, look, you're at the point now physically where you can do it. I could breathe for longer now. I wouldn't like gas out, but I would get whooped. I mean, how old are you? 35. Oh, you and your prime, son.

I'm not much of a, like, a wrestler, though. No, but it's not really wrestling. It's therapy. I do think I need therapy. Yeah. Because yesterday I was about ready to take. Well, then, hey, look, if you need therapy, go up around you, you get you. Well, look, we'll go.

You'll go up forever and not get your buck. You'll be okay. Yeah, go see Dr. Bonebreaker. That's what I said. David said, you need to come to Jiu-Jitsu. And I was like, see, now that Stone's on Instagram, I'm getting a better feel. And I saw Stone get flung on the ground by a grown human. And Stone has flung me on the ground.

So I just don't like how that adds to. No, I wouldn't say I flung you on the ground. I mean, that was just... It felt like it. Yeah, you were a lot heavier then. That's true. I felt harder. But no, I really think that you could benefit from it.

You know, we could film the whole thing. Well, here's the thing. Johnny D's jitsu experience. I will say this. If we're filming it, I mean. It will change your Bimile attitude about things. Oh, yeah. So says a man that can't stand pain.

No, no, no, no, no. You probably ought to listen to him when it comes to this. That's why, hey. Matter of fact, Where did you go? It's good for one. You know, because, hey, you learn to control your emotions. This is why Sigh is a greatest salesman ever.

He can make one of the sitter things. He ain't ever. Even though he knows nothing about it. That's what I'm talking about. And now, yes, I do. Jones been telling me for years, but now the process, so I'm in. Look, I know more than you think. What's membership?

Oh, I know it. I'm very observant, okay, and when I observe stuff, okay. So I pays attention to details. Right. that's why I tell you, it will do you good mentally. Yeah. Okay. And it will benefit you physically. Oh, big time.

Because, hey, me, I can't do it. So someone would hurt me because I'm too stupid. Because I wouldn't quit. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't quit. And, hey, if you get stupid with them people in the ring, they're fixed to hurt you because you're stupid. Oh, you'll quit all right. I believe it.

You're going to quit all right. And you're going to quit all right. You're going to quit after they give you pain. I believe I can quote Justin Martin whenever he said. Oh, Johnny D. He got a lot of quit in him. That boy got a lot of quit in him. I'm gone.

I tell you what, Bonebreaker put one hand on me. I just start tapping. He's like, hey, I ain't done nothing to you. I don't care. No, though, that's, hi. I don't even like you grabbing my shotgun. Bonebreaker is what we call the Matt Enforcer. This is the deal that I learned sitting here.

house and we're watching you've got all these master of their craft judo master whatever okay i know it's one thing when they run up to the uh uh jiu jih Tzu master it's as soon as they get them wrong you quit i thought i stop it hurts you know because hey well don't nobody like to go night night well i'm just saying it doesn't smell Anybody, look, anybody that can take someone like Burley, okay, Burley's a stout human being. That's an understatement. Okay, okay.

Anybody that can take that and turn it against him and make him whipper like a little baby and do it in like five seconds or less? I dare say it to us. You don't want to mess with that guy, okay? I have gone a few rounds with Old Burrell. Yeah. He's a big dude. The first round I went with him.

He literally picked me up and ran into the wall. Yeah. And when he did it, my head snapped back. Burling went back to 1976 at the pool hall. Oh, no, yeah, that's what it was. He was looking on the football field at Oklahoma. He was looking for a stick. Oh, no.

No, I saw it in his eyes. I pulled guard on him, and he looked at me, and those eyes just got real big, and I could see those veins in his forehead. Oh, gosh. And the next thing I know, I was off the ground. Into the wall. And about half knocked you out. Oh, yeah.

It was a lick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I looked over at Martinez and Coosney were sitting over there just smiling real big. You know, they thought it was hilarious. But then I had to jump on the back and choke him, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

But I felt the full force of burly. Oh, no. Dane. Yeah. And it was, it was pretty formidable. You know. I hope you were a linebacker at Oklahoma in the 80s. This is probably the proudest moment of my dad career.

She got a legitimate submission on an adult last week. Legitimate. Giant, you may well start there. Okay. I tell my kids when we were just on the golf cart to buckle up when we pass the stone household and just go fast. This adult had just started. A woman.

I mean, don't know much. And I was looking for a training partner for her. And I saw Sage over there laying down on the mat. And I said, you're going to get around with her. And she looked down at Sage. This woman's in her 20s. She said, am I fixing to get beat by a little kid? And I said, yep, it's a possibility.

It's a possibility. So I look over there and she was like a rabid wolverine stuck to that woman's back and she could not get her off of her. At first the woman was like, you know, oh, it's funny, ha-ha. But then Sage put that cross face on her and I saw

them eyes get big and she was literally trying to throw Sage off off of her physically. It couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. And then I looked over there and she had a pillow choke on her which was a North-South choke and made her tap with a North-South choke. So, I mean, I didn't say nothing

Because, you know, in jujitsu, you don't tap and tail. You know what I'm saying? That's just, it's just rude. It's rude. With that. You don't show up at work the next day with a band-aid on your neck. No, you don't go home and you don't get on the phone. Hey, I tap someone so, you know, yeah, yeah, I may, I turn them into a punk, whatever.

You know, you don't do that. But it's just my 10-year-old daughter, you know, so I was super proud. So I just kind of walked off. and I looked around and then somebody else came in, did you see what your daughter did? I sure did. There I'm right. So that just goes to show you the power that's in that.

It's a superpower. You know, there's a woman over it and turned you into a pretzel. She's 130 pounds soaking wet. I don't want to be a pretzel. No, I like eating. I do want to wrestle, Rutgers. The middle. I want to take Rucker down.

Well, I will say this. Rucker is the most agile. fat man I've ever seen. I mean, he has explosive movements. I mean, you see how big his belly is. Oh, yeah. Well, so whenever I was like, I'm going to do a pull-up, he was like, oh, I can do one. And I was like, no, you can.

Did he do one? Well, he does the whole, like, swing and pull-up. Yeah. But still. I couldn't do that if I was his side. I was watching him the other day, and he was, I'm talking about, he's athletic. He really is. He keeps telling me he's going to come jump rope with me.

You would be shocked watching him. on the mat. Now, he goes way too hard. And he's a tap hunter. He's looking for taps. But, uh,

but his athleticism is shocking. Well, when you grew up on the streets, you know, you got to be athletic or... His half, three quarters of his life was survival. That's what he says to me.

I mean, I mean, that sucker was like one of them dangan pala out there on the serengetty. You learn how to get away from stuff. Yeah. I'm saying you gotta learn how to bend and turn and... Well,

his foot was hurting yesterday. And I said, what's wrong with your foot? He said, oh, it was an old injury from jail. I kicked a Mexican in the head. I said, you're a Mexican. He said, yeah, you know. That's hard to say. I got an email.

We ready? Yeah. Let's do one email, one voicemail. All right, Brandon. Brandon. Hello at dot callroom.com. Brandon, he's 32. This one, I had it starred.

It was a maybe, but with Stone talking about Sage whooping people, I was like, well, this is a perfect one. Subject line, he's struggling with being a good dad. Small town, Illinois, loves the podcast. He has a three-year-old daughter, another daughter on the way. He's been training to become a paramedic, which is apparently a lot of work, and he's a firefighter slash paramedic. So he's always out.

Like, he's out for, you know, and we thank you for doing that first responders rule. But that does take him away from home sometimes at hours. you know if you had a standard nine to five you'd be home uh also kids at two are rough martin any he just told me that's how young thing start jujitsu yeah and now she's three and well she's just as crazy as she was when she was two yeah she's one them three natures yeah but he just feels like he's coming up short in his duty to being a good godly head of the household and being a good dad and now he's got another one showing up and he's terrified.

Well, good news is everybody sucks at the first one. Yeah. Carter's going to have some stories to tell. You ain't ever done it, man. I'll give you advice because I was feeling like you was because I was in the military and was always gone. Until my wife, I'll tell you this way, tell your wife to break out the photo albums

and show the times that you were there when you were home, you were there and you were doing what you're supposed to be as a dad. And since this is 20, 25, just go scrolling back to your camera, your pictures on your phone. Break out the photo album. I like the photo album. You're better. You're better than you think, sir. Okay.

We don't have no photo album. We got a couple. Because all my wife had to do was break out the photo album. Well, here I am dressed up as a 6-3 Easter Bunny and a rabbit outfit. You know, what about that time? Oh, right away, you look scared. Here you are playing on Santa Claus, yo. Terrifying Easter Bunny.

And Santa Claus. So I think every dad always sells himself short. There it is. Okay. You're there more than you think you are. You know why? Because he's watching Bluey's dad. Yeah.

And that is, you cannot reach those expectations. Well, look, a good friend of mine who I trained with, he's also. fireman, paramedic, that dude works his tail-all. And he's got four kids. And he's taught to me about that same thing. And what he's doing now is this is what he's decided. It might not be the best path for you, but he's decided to choose a different profession.

In other words, use those credentials, and he's going to be a nurse. There you go. And so that might be an option you can look into, but he did about eight or nine years of what you're doing. and it was more than he could bear. Which is time. He has to travel a lot.

If he wants to make extra money, he'll go to Arkansas and, you know. Yeah. But it's a tough deal. Those guys, I mean, they don't pay them a lot and they work a lot of hours. But I think just the fact that you're saying this proves one thing, like you're doing your best. If you weren't terrified of having a second daughter, that would be more worrisome because that means you're just absent all the time and you just don't care but you clearly care and being a dad is just really tough it's the hardest job i've ever had yeah being a parent period and i had to babysit willie for eight years so

oh bo-dooms i was waiting for that one you can say that you're going to work here no more is again yeah no that's i mean he's on the right track yeah you're at least aware awareness is the key it's tough right just being aware If that means you're going to try harder And when you are home, you're going to do stuff Yeah Yeah, man You're still young, you've got time

They're three Yeah, they ain't even remember nothing yet So Can't screw them up too bad Until they're five Unless they're Carter Then they'll be like, Dad, you remember On the day after my fourth birthday

Whenever you said, I'm like, golly Yeah, but he also liked that stuff Your Wife cook last night Yeah, you got to watch him and he's going to own a gun next week after his birthday it's still. Whoa, whoo! 410.

When you hear the 410 going off in the neighborhood, don't worry, it's just me and Carter. Y'all going to take care of that turtle problem down there. I'm interested. That'd be good. We're going to take care. That's been a good practice.

We're going to start with eggs and watermelon. Uncle Johnny, they got a picture of a beaver under his corn feeder. Uh-oh. I saw that beaver, yeah. We saw it one night. So I'll be there. All right, Hunter, what you got?

318, 215, 6559, is it right? We're out of time. Oh, we're out of time. Okay. All right, look at all right, boy. First day back, cutting us short. All right, we'll see. All right, first Thessalonians 2, 11, and 12,

for you know that we dealt with each of, it's a Bible verse that's hard to read. I don't know. First Thessalonians 2, 11, 12, for you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God who calls you to his kingdom and glory. If you're a dad out there that's like, am I doing a good job? Encourage, comfort, and urge them to live lives worthy of God. That's what we're called to do.

Amen, buddy. All right, well, we'll see y'all next time.