Duck Call Room - Phil Robertson’s Fastball Once Knocked a Kid’s Eye Out!

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Martin’s twins immediately steal the show with their cuteness and Si can’t get enough! Martin gives an update on all their recent milestones and John-David is a little jealous of his relatives for getting a “recess” to play pickleball everyday. Stone drops a shocking revelation about Phil’s sentimentality these days and Si recalls the time Phil pitched a fastball so hard that the batter’s eye popped out! The boys salute the military men and women who have paid the ultimate price for America’s freedom. A fan’s question about an aging dog leads Martin to get a little misty-eyed over his own recent loss. Make sure to vote for The Blind and WHOA That's Good at https://www.klovefanawards.com/vote - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, we got two noise makers in here today. So folks, for this first segment, if you hear a bell go off, it's probably not sye. That's right. Probably wailing. We have a baby in the building. Yeah, he's at daddy daycare because his, there we go, we're just on cue with the bell. Because his brothers that, uh... He's smiling way too much at that bell.

That one was sigh. That was sigh. Hey, we got a contest going. But his brothers at speech therapy, and we didn't have anybody. to watch him for the 30 minutes. So his mom brought him and dropped him off by me. That's it. There we go.

Yeah. But big week for these kids. They started swim lessons. Hmm. I've got pictures. Your children are like, uh-oh. And they're probably doing. Martin had the microphone blocking the children for the good folks of YouTube to see.

Wow. And he's much cuter than me. So let's make sure. Let's block me and leave him where we can see. So we're doing the swim lessons? Yes. Once again, that was sigh. Oh, no.

Oh, I know. Oh, hey. Hey. Look who's here, Rosie. Hi, bud. He said, oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know about all this.

Hey, bud, can you say hi? Is the big one, the friendly one? I'm guessing. Define friendly. Yeah. Waylon. He talks to more people. Like, Wayland's a little more by himself.

Like, Jackson will make friends pretty quick. And we're just. Go see. Go see, bud. No, I ain't going to see that clown. He's, I ain't going to see that clown. That was also a child bell, not a side bell. Yeah.

I'm trying to keep count. You got to see, bud? Oh, we got everybody. Everybody is a club. And Brittany's here. Yeah, she's about to leave. She's about to run. We got everybody.

Say hi, boy. So, yeah, this is, yeah, welcome back to the duck car. This is Martin's life right here. If you wanted a peek into, yeah. Just holding two kids. From five, well, to be fair, only from five to seven p.m. for the most part. Their mama definitely toach the load of this weight. Okay.

That's called a toy fight. There we go. There we go. I was just fixing to say how well-behaved they were. There we go. There we go. Hold on, hold on. No, no, forget that.

Get that rubber duck. side is giving up his bell for a child oh now we got rubber ducks oh we'll be good with that yeah yeah all right boys we got a rubber duck that's all we needed was a rubber duck they got a they got a duck commander look about them too they got the flowing hair OD OD green t-shirt yeah their mom is very neutral camouflage crocs and her color palette she's very earthy earth tones real earth tone Got a gal. She's got like four colors in her closet, her part of the closet.

Browns, greens. Maroon. Maroon's a good one. Hey, barone's a good color. Gray. Women of the fall, man. Yeah. Hey, look, that's fine with me.

But she wear that red lipstick. Oh, boy. Now you're, now you get more. Now he's grabbing for the microphone. Yeah, this is it. I don't know what's happening here. They're not running all over. They're not pulling cameras down.

They're chill. I think it's still the shot from swimming lessons. Did you tire them out with swimming? Because that's what we do with our kids. You just tell them go swimming and then they can't do anything else for like a week. Well, you can't tell these to go swimming. You got very much hold on to them, especially Big Daddy. He hasn't figured out quite how to float on his own yet.

Waylon's got that part. Today, she very rarely held on to him. Big Daddy, he like me. We a little more dense. Well, God wouldn't float her. Yeah, and saltwater. Don't let him fool you. He ain't a floater in fresh water.

But saltwater, yeah. He floats in salt water. It's a lot easier. Yeah. I've never been one to float. We got our ducks. We chew it on everything. But yeah, they're sitting there.

I don't know what to tell you. It's very quiet. Hey, swimming lessons is a great thing for kids, though. Makes them calm down and they can swim. This one's a little more possessive than this one. as you can tell by the snatching of the bell from his brother. Which one is more yours than Britney's and which one's more Britney? Big boy.

Really? Look I got asking that question and then y'all both, he's just staring at me in a real Martin matter-of-fact way. Like, what a dumb question. That was a dumb question. I just like having the babysitter. they're not even babies anymore though they're like full-grown adults yeah how old are they now almost two yeah a little over a year and a half that's crazy yeah it all same that

it's not it's impossible i remember when baby sage was about that seven and a half years ago that's crazy we're all getting old yeah y'all are these things keeping me young keeping them young yeah i ain't ever even tired wait till they get about 14 oh boy Well, hopefully at that point They're on Johnny Dees pay roll at the honey hole, stocking crickets. I had two kids apply today. And cleaning a worm being...

I'll drop them off every morning for you. I will hire a little Martin babies. You won't have to pay them. Just trade them out in the credit at the end of the week. That's how everybody works for me is anyway. The paycheck comes right back. Yeah, that's a good thing. Willie did it via poker game.

You do it via merchandise. It works. It works. The math works. now what are we finally getting comfortable and cozy is that I think they could star a full episode of this mm-hmm the Martin boys I'm surprised he didn't say no sir does he say no sir this one I'll do it you say no sir no sir I'll do it you say no sir no sir can you say what can you say your kids are super happy

Can you say bass? B, bass? He ain't gone. Oh, he can, though. Can you show him your pretty eyes? Where's your pretty eyes? That kid's hilarious. Oh, he's a good one.

They both have their own style of funny. Uh-oh. This one, Wreckingball. Offensive lineman. That's a young Martin, if I've ever seen one. Yeah. Go. G.

I work on G sounds at speech today? Yeah. So they're at speech, they're at swimming lessons. Are they potty train yet? Good night. No. They're just growing up before our eyes. But Waylon can show you his T-2.

Oh, they've reached that age. Uh-huh. Yeah. Like, where's your T-T? He pulled his diaper down. I had to duct tape Ben's his diaper for about a year. Well, we put them in shorts because they, and we've got, now we're on to the pull-up style. Because the tabs, no, they figured that trick out.

See, that's why I just used duct tape. But we had a bit, diaper's expensive. Yeah, they're expensive. So then I was like, you know what? I'm just going to take this sucker on where he can't get it off. Otherwise, he was naked all the time. Yeah. He's still like that.

Get home from church. He just takes all his clothes off and is in his underwear. Sounds like so. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. We got an escapee. All right, he'd be done. Hey, it's a pleasure having you, sir.

He's gone. You finally said something. Uh-oh. Now they're both. He's gone. We may have to take a break. All right. There may be cameras start shaking now.

Here, friend. No, he ain't coming over here. He ain't coming to me inside. He's walking in circles. Ready, set, go. I'm going for it. No. No, that ain't happened.

Uh-oh. Today, I ain't happening. You say hi? Say hi. Oh, look, Daddy. I got one. I caught one. He caught one here.

it goes. It's going downhill. Uh-oh. Waila. Waila. Oh, that ain't going to last. You're not his mama. Unfortunately. There they go.

Well, this is, yeah, this is about what I expected. This is, this is your home life. Yeah, this is what I, yeah, five to seven every day. This is it. They just run. Yeah, they really, like the last 10 minutes before we put them down, they run laps in the kitchen. Hey, buddy.

All right, look, springtime is here. it's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, ain't it good? It's so good.

Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef come to them. But with Triedale's beef, we. skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way.

Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails Beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it,

which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. And we're back. We got the boys loaded up.

They went home with her mama to see their grandmother, who's coming to visit us for the weekend. Oh, not your mom, her mom. Yeah, her mom. Yeah, Brittany's mom and stepdad are coming in town. Your mother-in-law is moving in for the weekend. Yeah. Yeah, I actually like my in-laws.

You like them living with you? I don't mind. Hey, extra hands to help with them little assholes. Are you kidding me? They're a captive audience, too, just like I am. I'll take any set of extra hands show up around that house or I'm thankful for. Oh, yeah. Like, I remember them days.

I got pretty good in-laws myself. Yeah. You too. I just, they stay at their house. But they were like down the street, it's fine. I am going to show you this. I'm going to send you.

We talked about them having swimming lessons. Yeah, so your kids are in swimming lessons. Well, it's not really swimming. It's like how to stay alive if you fall in the water. ISR, whatever it's called. Not drowning lessons. Yeah, yeah. Not really.

They ain't kicking and swim. Oh, goodness. Martin, this just makes me sad. Look at Michael Phelps. That's just, look at him. Look at Michael Phelps. He's ready. That's it. He's ready.

This morning was the first morning I've been able to attend. And when we pulled in the driveway to this lady's house. They're not going to like swimming pools. To Miss Elena's house, Jackson just immediately started crying. I was like, oh, that sucker knows where we are. Yeah, he's not supposed to fix it happen. He's done figured out this drive. And then Whalen, he was, that's all sympathy crying.

That's because his brother was over-hollering in the pool. Waylon, wasn't it wrong him. I was holding him. But, oh yeah, it's funny, man. Look at Michael Phelps. That boy needs a haircut. I keep trying to tell his mom he needs a haircut. The first act, that's a big deal for the mom.

She is resistant. They got cool mullets. Yeah, but when you wash their hair in the bathtub, it's like here on them. I mean, it's long. Yours was like that once. Brittany still married you. Yeah, I know. But I just let it go.

But I was paid to do that. Yeah, no choice. Yeah. This is by their own, their mama's own free will here. I'm like, she said she actually is considering it because somebody told her the other day that Waylon was a cute girl. Oh.

She said, okay, okay. Even with all those earth tones, though. Even with, well, yeah. Hey, spoiler alert. If we had girls, they'd be on earth tones too. So that's just. The first haircut, though, it makes your kid look like six years old.

Yeah. They go from one and a half babies to seven-year-old toddlers. Yeah, they're looking like a grown-up until it grows back out a little bit. Yeah, they were well-behaved. You know, my kid doesn't act like that. Really? No. I talked it up to that end braiding

on the Robertson. But I've been fighting that for years. Hey, you parted that over. What's you laughing about? I think it's funny. That's what I'm laughing. I think it's funny. No, they're pretty good.

They have their moments. They're starting to get possessive over things. So it's kind of interesting. Waylon or just out of the blue just yell, no, sir, and walk over. to Jackson and take whatever he's got out of his hand. Doesn't matter. It can be a chip.

It can be the remote. It can be. He's just taking it. He's just taking it. I answer that. She's just right inside there. You can answer. She's just down the hall.

Lindsay. Hello? Hey. Taking phone calls. I like that. Yeah. Hey, Lindsay, congratulations to our. Yeah, we're doing a podcast.

Our friend Lindsay that works here, you can check her out on Dave Ramsey. She just did her debt-free scream. You're debt-free, right? She's debt-free. You want to come screaming? in the microphone here, Lindsay? She was on Dave Ramsey? Yeah.

Tell them how to tell us the story. Hey, we're telling the Cliff Notes version. This is only an hour show. We ain't got seven months. But no, that is cool to see somebody start on a journey to get debt free and her and her husband did it in seven months. How old are you, Lizzie? 30.

30. How many envelopes do you have on you right now? How many envelopes? hopes do you have on you? It's like New Age. Oh. It's the greatest thing. It's the greatest thing.

Your bank account so you know exactly where your money is going. You hear about Jesus. Oh, wow. Hey, that's the ultimate debt. I'm sorry. That was easy. No, you're just trying to get us nominated next year. I can appreciate that.

I can present. We got snubbed on the K-Love Award again. It's okay. We don't deserve a K-love award. We're leisure. But anyway. So, no, that's a Lent. So that's all.

things been happening around our house it's uh it's all good though i can appreciate it's good news their mama's a rock star i'll give her that she's there with them all day every day so i reckon so grief that's why i said i only get like little two-hour doses of it before i come to work and after i get home she's there for the rest of it so she's the real MVP they're well-behaved it i mean i may have a little something to do with that because of nighttime and stuff but she's the one building that foundation at home with them so yeah um yeah no my hat's off to her because well-behaved children when they're not well-behaved

or when they're not feeling their best oh it's a toughie with two of them at the exact same age that can't talk and tell you that no my ear hurts or like we went to the E&T the other day just for checkup on their tubes and stuff

and old boy looked in there and he said well he got an ear infection whaling ain't hollered he ain't screamed ain't been nothing coming out of like how in the world are we supposed to know they ain't running no fever no Nothing. He's like, yeah, he's got an infection in there, so start giving him drops. There you go.

You know, so. Kids are tougher than adults, too. Oh, buddy. Not even close. Yeah. Nobody's told them that they should cry yet, so they're just like, whatever. Stinks, but I'm fine. Jackson got a different bruise on his forehead every week from running into something, and it don't ever slow him down.

He does not. He looks everywhere when he's walking except in front of him. Bad strategy. He is worried about everything. else he's like he's his head on a swivel makes sure nobody sneak up on him boom walk face first into the little deal holds the TV just

you know so I remember them days you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough he's tough buddy that's the two choices yeah he's tough you need to be smart or tough yeah so no it's fun and they're at a really fun age so I'm enjoying this 18 19

20 month age this is fun they're learning a lot you see how smart them little rascals really are you ready to have some more no no no no no no no no no no you're done done i face of being at that grandparent phase you already oh i'm saying or just made i got one that got married yeah we were just making sure that wasn't announced yeah oh i have no idea but it could be if it was i was i was going to start throwing some clothes back for you yeah like instead of giving them to the to the first west place and whatnot whenever

they outgrow their stuff. It goes by fast is all I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, I never thought a year ago would be where we are now. So, you know, here we are. And who knows what next year I hold. I mean, it's already almost June, unbelievable. Well, I ran into some of Johnny Dee's kinfolk the other day.

Uh-oh. I have no idea where this is. I made it. I was weed eating around bosses' pine. It's covered in grass and dirt. I heard some knocking. My kinfo. I walk up the hill and I see two hands up there playing,

what's that game you like to play with your daddy? Pickleball. Pickle ball. Oh, yeah. On a Tuesday at 1.30 in the evening. We call that recess. I don't get to go to recess. I haven't quite...

Is that recess? That's what I call it. I was worried about what you were going to say here, but yeah, there's... Yeah, I guess they're all my kinfolk. Yeah, Tuesday at 1.30 in the evening. Yeah, if you're around... When most people are, you know... Working?

Being productive citizens. It's called recess, is what I call it. Is that what it is? So my brother-in-law and all of Willie's son-in-laws all get together to about two, 132, and they play pickleball together. I've never been invited, which I don't have a recess. I haven't been able to work up the courage to ask Big Dave if I could go to recess because I think he'd hit me.

Well, this is your version of recess. Yeah, this is basically all I got. This is what I call lunch break and recess. Yeah, they're out there playing. And then you go play them and I'm like, how'd y'all get so good? And they're like, oh, every day at two. Two, two p.m. But most of them are just t-shirt salesmen.

So I guess they wake up and work from seven to two and then go back. According to my brother-in-law, orders are filled from seven to about two and then from five to six. That way you can go to recess. I'm like, hey, that's what works. He wasn't even shaking my hand because I was too dirty for him. he said ooh you look like you've been working hard yeah I love this my favorite part of this is Johnny D told me this story and I was like huh yeah like Johnny D was like well yeah you can't play them because they play every day and I was like I'm not that good I said every every day

every day at two o'clock I think it was like a two or three week thing that they did yeah it's about to be too hot for that time of day I'll have to shift there at the recent going to the morning. Me and Diego are going to start playing 1.30 every day. We'll see what they say

when they walk up here. Oh, y'all got pickleball courts all over the place, so don't you? Well, there's the one at Willie's house, which was the tennis court, and then my parents have one now. Okay.

Hey, come play. You would be good. What is a pickleball? I am not going to play pickleball. You would be really good at it. No. You would be good at it. It's a oversized ping pong.

It's a cross between ping pong and tennis for what I can see. Like a wiffle ball? Yes. It's like tennis for fat people. Yeah. Which is why I really like it. You don't have to run as hard. You don't have to be as good.

Well, why are all them flat bellies playing it? Well, and then Christian was like, oh, I think I'm going to play. And you just spikes it on you and you're like, okay. Yeah. Then he's like, I'm going to go squat 800 pounds. You're like, all right. See later. Hey, they're good at pickleball.

They are good at pickleball. And it's a fun sport, and it gets you, it does get you some cardio in. Yeah. Well, I mean, it just goes to show you whatever you put your time towards it. You can be good at it. It's a very manly sport. Yeah. No, it's made for retired people, for sure.

That's why I like it. Tennis, that's hard. A lot of running. I play with you a couple times. That's, uh. I got decent at tennis at one point in life, and I was just like, eh. I could never keep inside the fence. Too much baseball.

Yeah. Too much backspin, not near enough top spin. like it just was all lift I know this ain't gonna work I tried though I was trash but you play a lot of racket sports back in the day so?

No we we was big on tennis in college really Tommy and Phil and Harold see something tells me Tommy was good at tennis

oh yeah something tells me Phil Robertson could serve a ball 5,000 miles per hour through your chest yeah he made a lot of aces I'd be more worried about

yeah no no Yeah. I'd have been more worried about. He was a lot of faces. About Phil getting mad at you and then just putting that racket over top of your head. Like Tommy, Tommy, I don't, yeah, he would have just got everything. Oh, he threw it a few times. Every.

Yeah. Oh, I did. Oh, Phil threw it a few times. Phil threw a racket? Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh. I would not see that. He felt what most people don't know was, Phil was a hardball pitcher.

Baseball? Yeah, baseball. Yeah, baseball. Javelin. Yeah. To do the quarterback. Phil could put, yeah, Phil could put him to him. The worst one that ever happened is we had a kid in a neighborhood.

He was a smart little kid. Nobody liked him because he wasn't a little smarter. Good thing is none of y'all Robertson's like that. Well, yeah. No, no, but anyway, we're playing speedball. Well, speedball is a soft ball compared to a hard ball. Oh, like a rag ball? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, well, hey, y'all, the kid said, hey, y'all, we was out there, you know, playing the yard. Phil's pitching. And, you know, the kids said, you know, said something smart, you know, telling me, you know, you don't strike me out. You know, and Fills to get out of the kid, yeah. Yeah, yeah, he kept running his mouth. He said, get your bat and get up there. Well, Phil had a wicked curveball, especially with, he had a wicked curveball with a hard ball.

You give him a speedball? Yeah. It's insane. Okay, so look, he threw it behind that kid. Throw it behind? No, no, this was how bad of a curveball here. Yeah, I mean, he probably fall mid-90s. Okay, so he hummed this thing, okay?

Well, the kid made a bad move. He thought it was going to hit him, so he jumped on the center of the plate. It popped him right here. Oh, no. And, hey, popped his eyeball out of his head. Okay. Scared the living daylight out of everybody in the family. Where's his eyeball?

Did you put it back in? No. We just, hey, all we did it, Mama come out there. Y'all looked like a bunch of roaches, didn't you? No, no. No, no. Hey, look, Mama come out there, grabbed him, got him in the car, and put just a cloth over it and, you know, went to the hospital with it.

And that's when they met evil eyes. pushed it back. No, no, they pushed it back in, you know. He had to go to the hospital and his eye put back in his face. Yeah, hey,

yeah, he had to do it. That's why. Well, he never did say, hey, you can't strike me out again. Yeah, but hey,

he played minor league baseball in the summer in the time of both. Yeah, I believe it. Especially, especially Tommy. I mean,

well, Tommy was, he was a all-around. He could hit good, okay and he could feel good what he played like shortstop second well he played it all everywhere he could play wherever he needed to be i see that and Phil just waited until somebody popped off and then popped their eyeball out of their face oh no no no because if the batterer got malty next time he got nailed that's right

that was a pitcher hey yeah oh no no you get you get malady you fix it get nailed that's when it was sports was fun to watch oh yeah yeah well a good pitcher wasn't necessarily worried about putting somebody on first base. I get the next guy out. Nowadays, they hit somebody. They make them go see a therapist. It's not wrong. Not wrong.

My favorite thing, I played first base, and when we would try and pick people off, I would tag them as hard as I could just to make them remember. I'm tagging you home. You know what I'd have done? Hit the earhole of that helmet. First time you step your foot in that plate, ear hole.

Yeah, hey. Take it and go to first. gonna slap, slap teammates over there. You're fixing to get earhole. I slapped them all. You was, wap, don't get too far away. If I get to tag you, I'm going to make you remember the tag. I remember one time I threw a pickoff first base about 35 times in a row.

And he was right. There was, well, some of the boy, you probably would. No, he was older than you. West Monroe, kid. Went to West Monroe. He was after this boy. He ran his mouth before the game. Yeah, he was after you.

He was laid off at a really good ball player. Got a hit. I threw over 35 times in a row. You get him? Nope. But he was, he was quick. Stone was letting him know he was there. He was quick.

He ain't going to get it up. That's funny. Baseball's wild. Then I hit him three times. Consecutive. I mean, I didn't throw, I didn't, I didn't have a lot of gas. Low 80s, mid-80s. I just know that I was back in, like, well, a field player.

I don't get up and run in your mouth. You think you get popped? Oh. Big time. I mean. I mean, back, they don't even. let the coaches in the, in, on major league baseball, argue with umpires anymore. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And that's, that's, that's, that's, that used to be the fun of the game. Oh, that's all the reason I watch it. Especially they'd push you to the points. They'd finally say, yeah, out of here. They'd kick dirt on them and everything else. I mean, that crap was fun to watch. Yeah, it was funny.

Or you have the blow up that our friend Philip Wellman had, and you take second base home with you. Take it on with you. Is he the Braves? Yeah, through the Rawls and bag like a grenade and went out there, took second base and took it home with it. Yeah. That was one of the ball.

That was funny. I filmed him on a few deer huts. Oh, man. Back in my infant day. Some of the coaches had some antics, though, that was just priestly. What was the guy, the pitcher, that killed a pigeon? Randy Johnson. Randy Johnson.

And look, it looked like he had been shot with a 12-gauge shotgun. He hit him with a fastball, and it literally exploded. He had the same nickname in high school he did. What? the big unit old monster man I think Siah's caught a lot of things growing up

a big unit I don't reckon it was everyone no no him hitting that bird has to be one of the most incredible oh what's the eyes of that happening slim we're about to watch it

over and over and over I've watched this 10 million times in my life now but it never gets on it has my computer that's about a 95 maybe 98 mile in our family. Here it is in slow-mo.

Just, Wap, B'AW! Mississippi snow. Beth, I never seen him for. You've never seen that? No, that didn't make it to Canada. Canada's up there watching people lose their teeth, the hockey puck.

They aren't watching Randy Johnson. When he did that, what was it? Is he a Diamondback or a Marin? That's the reason they're fanatic. hockey fans. They don't go to watch hockey. They go there to watch the fight. Yeah, they still let them brawl in hockey.

Yeah. I want... How serious? They go there to watch the borrow. Well, they go there to drink. Well, hey, they like to fight those, too. Am I wrong? I will say, though, hold on.

How much Bush Light is consumed during hockey season? A lot. That's given... Huh? Molson Canadian. Yeah. Mostly Canadians. No, Mulsson Canadian.

Molson Canadian. Molson. Yeah, that's their version of Bushlight. Yeah. Oh, I got you. Yeah, Bushlight stops at the border. If you think about it, in baseball, you can't yell at the umpire anymore. Football, you can't hit anybody hard anymore.

You're not even allowed to tackle people. You can't tackle anymore. And basketball used to be real fun to watch. Oh, yeah. We talked about it with the pistons. Oh, yeah. You heard the latest in the Marine Corps? What's going on?

Oh, no, no. Don't tell me. I'm actually nervous. Yo, I'm actually interested. They can't yell at the on fire or that they can't argue with it. The drill sergeants can't yell at it. Look nowadays when you are in the Marine Corps, they give you a yellow stress card. Uh-oh.

All you have to do is hold up your stress card and they'll leave you alone. Oh, boy. And I said, I can see this in wartime. Oh, you'll have to come back tomorrow. We're not shooting today. Stress card. Stress card. Can I get one of them cars and put on my office door?

I need one of those for over here. Oh, boy. That's sad. Are you ever even fragile? When I heard that, I thought it's, you got to be kidding. Is that true? That's true. A stress cord?

They took it from soccer. You get a yellow card. What if they hold up a red one? They just go home. It ain't known to tell them what they're going to come up with. Okay. That's scary. So a safe space at boot camp.

Did you get one of those? Negative. I didn't think so. Side did you? Get a safe space at boot camp? No, he never... No, no such thing as safe space, son. He never had, he never had hands free to hold one anyway.

He's always doing push-ups. He couldn't keep my mouth shut. Big old has me on the ground all the time. Yeah. I bet you could chime out some push-ups. I'm serious, you got to picture this. Okay, we're on Fort Benning, which is an airborne post

is where I took basic you do not walk anywhere on an airborne post you jog you jog okay okay my drilled instructor big Oliver Sergeant Oliver weighed in at about 475

okay I could take a bath in that man smoking the bear hat these stories never get over no no no no look the first day we see him we lose our drill sergeant he had some problems at home the one that we've started with

okay he leaves so we're we're sitting at the barracks on the barracks the steps of the barracks waiting on the new one to show up and my man looking like John Coffield no no hey there is a there is a cab coming down the road to where we're at

and there is just it's like somebody's got a giant grinder under the car sparks are flying I swear on the Bible my man my man them busted the calf shocks

no no look I'll tell you it's like a giant grinder under the cab there's sparks and fire flying out of it and we watch it was it night time no it was daytime and you can still see this spot you can still see them I mean like hey that's why I said a giant grinder.

This ain't a few. So there's been some metal eight here. It looked like a sparkler. Yeah. So, hey, he pulled up and look, big old stepped out of it. And I'm telling you, that car liked to flip over when he got out the right side of it. You know, and we're all looking going, surely not. That's not our replacement drill sergeant.

Well, you knew. man that big wasn't going in the air you know and i'm going whoa and then what happened but hey no no you got to take it okay i weighed i weighed a hundred and thirty pounds okay and that it is when you soaked me down with water yeah that's on a good day yeah that's on a good day after you done run me and i'm soaking wet you know big old weighed 475 and like say we ran everywhere the rain was about 10 miles away rifle range well we ran there with with full pack

with weapons with ammo so you made sure and shot all your bullets oh no no look I weigh 130 and I you know 10 miles that ain't bad think about weighing 475 and running 10 miles he ran with you oh yeah he ran everywhere

we did and yelled at you the whole time oh and yelled at you the whole time was he nice no he was what you call the a-ho. And that's the polite verbic. Okay. Cy's still mad because he did 10,000 push-ups.

Oh, no, no. How many push-ups have you done in your life? Graduation day, I'm in dressed greens for crying out loud, in dress uniform. You know, he got up in front of my face and stuck his nose on my, like he's done the whole time we've been in basic. Well, I busted out laughing. Well, that's the thing he says. his job, Maggot.

Well, I didn't, I said, I've got dressed greens on charge it. I'm not going to get in the problem position. Wrong answer. He said, I beg your pardon? He said, you better assume the position or I'm going to stomp you in position, son. And that's when you needed that card. Oh, don't. That's when I hit the ground and so it says, how many?

How many you need? Yeah. And look, it took me 350. Push-ups? Push-ups. Because I'd knock out 25, jump up, and he'd walk back up and put that nose on my nose. And I'd bust out laughing again.

And it took me three, it took him 350 push-ups to wipe that smile off my face. How many push-ups have you done in your life? Oh, and basic training? Oh, I have no idea. literally probably hundreds of thousands because we had what it was eight weeks yeah yeah literally hundreds of times

I figured out on the last day oh I did 350 in dress greens you know between getting smoked and and PT and everything I guarantee we were doing at least at least $1,500 a day

well no because look here's what happened when you went to breakfast they got a ladder you know, a horizontal ladder that's about 50 yards long. So it's all the way to end up. Then go in and eat.

You had to go across monkey bars for 150 yards. Oh, yeah. Get to breakfast? Yeah. I'd starve to death. And then what happened right after you eat? Hold on up. Then you come out and get in formation

and you run about four miles. Yeah. After eating a good full breakfast. Are they put you in that in that sawdust pit and smoke your tail for about 45 minutes? Oh, no, look. Hey, the best one I remember, though, is because we had some Puerto Ricans in our outfit. Okay. And hey, look, nothing against Puerto Ricans, okay, but I'm just saying.

Love you guys. In our unit, okay. Look, it's Saturday. That don't mean nothing. That's just another day of the week, but it's Saturday. Means something in Puerto Rico. We've just had a barracks inspection. The company commander has one upstairs,

and the next thing we see is, is he actually jumps over the railing, catches the ladder, and is down the ladder like a cat squirrel. And one in Puerto Ricans comes with a shovel at half mass, because the old shovel you carry it on your backpack you can

you know you can put it at where it's you know like an L or you can open it all the way and fold it down and screw it together you know

and ready for digging well the next thing he comes out there screaming and he's speaking Spanish well the next thing that happened is two MPs and a Jeep

pulls up with the lights on they go upstairs and you hear wow, bam, bow, bow, wow. And they come dragging this clown out, you know, just. They knocked him out? Knocked him out. With his own shovel? Hey, they, no, they beat that boy with them night sticks.

Okay. You don't threaten the company commander. Well, that's a good way to get wooded. Hey. There you go. But I thank you for that walk-down memory. And look, I'd be remiss to say, look, I know this Memorial Day is coming up after this episode before our next one. So for the families out there who are dealing with the ones that paid the ultimate price for our freedom and our protection, just know we're thinking about you guys, lifting you guys up.

And, man, can't wait to see, can't wait to see everybody again, you know, because that's what Memorial Day is. So, yeah, there's those out there that have paid the ultimate price for us, and we want to remember them and say thank you. So there you go. But we'll take a break, getting that inbox, and we'll be back right after this. So Heath, my cousin, from South Louisiana, was talking about his aunts and uncles eating chicken feet. Oh, yeah.

Well, see, I got to talk about that before we get too far in this with our man Luis, who works here now, who's from Dominican Republic. Nothing again for him. you know what let's just cover my baby you gotta give his disclaimers or somebody will be yelling not that there's anything wrong with that any small island country we like it's a great place i just say that because he might go to a sandals there but me and him got to talk in one day because he brings his lunch and like he does a lot of the cooking at their house is his and brittany's house and and i saw something in his plate and i bet it was different

It was chicken feet. He had chicken feet. Loves them. Will he come on the show? Because that's an interesting story anyway. I'm trying to get him to cook them on our YouTube stuff. But I got Jordan to save like two turkeys worth of feet. I want to like have wild turkey feet.

But Louise, here's the funny part. I said, what do you eat off them? And he said, well, each one of the fingers, I said, not their feet toes. But he said, well, they look more like fingers. I'll give you that. He said, those, you know, got a little bit. a meat on you just go and that's what he did that noise and then he said but in the palm there there's this little tendon that is mw-and-and-and-and-i-and-so all that for three little slivers of meat

and a tendon i said i ain't there i mean i'll try it but i ain't i don't know that i'll try that yeah because they had a whole lot of meat on a chicken's foot well i asked him i said you you know what them chickens walk through right oh yeah yeah yeah like chicken oh yeah like Hey. Well, anyway. You know? Okay. Somehow this podcast has become a lot about chicken feet lately and not the dominoing.

Yeah. Because that's not the game. Anyway, Michael from Central South Dakota. He all the way up there. Is eating chicken feet. And I'm just going to say it. That looks disgusting. That's gross looking.

Michael, thank you for listening. I'm not eating at your house. Yeah, that's gross looking. I mean, the other stuff looks all right. No? No. I mean, it's not top-notch. Why is your spaghetti sauce not on your spaghetti?

What in the Sam Hill is going on here? Where's he, bro? Central South Dakota, so he's different than us. And that asparagus was already dead. You didn't have to kill it. Like, I mean, good. That's stuff. Oh, shoot, that's asparagus.

Okay, yeah, I thought it was green beans. My bad. No, ain't that asparagus? I think so. I think it's asparagus. Yeah, but he's got it. cooked down so much that ain't nothing but a ball of slime is that what louisa's chicken feel well no he had it in a gravy them look like he just burrowed that in water and and and i'm having

some real issues with them toenails still being on there what you're talking about like i figured they'd be i figured they'd be toenailless like i've never eaten a chicken foot yeah that's why i didn't eat turtle soup one time they left the toenails on it oh right they left all it on it do they eat that out of the shell like as a bowl no i flip it over and serve it all they you have to cut it out of the shell. I'm not into turtles. No, as low-old. You know, I've always been taught from childhood.

You eat what's put before you. And don't say nothing. Well, that day when I, they passed the bowl to me and I put the ladle in and I pulled up one of the front legs. They still had the old scaly skin on it. And the claws and all this. Now, you got to get rid of them, Tony. If you want me to try that, you go.

I apologize. Even on a frog, I get rid of his hands. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to look at them fingers. No, no, yeah. Can't be eating Kermit's hands. Wow.

Anyway, that's good. Yeah. Dad, I don't. That's just, to me, that's just the proper taking care of your meat that you're fixing to eat. What? Of taking, you know, take the skin off. Oh, oh, that, yeah.

What's wrong with chicken? I still can't get past that plate. What's wrong with chicken legs? If you find a perch, you know, with scales on it. And talking about, here, here, eat him. John Luke did that one time, I think. That's like it was still alive. That's what I'm saying.

John Luke once caught a fish and just put cornmeal all over it through that sucker in grease. Oh, no, no, no. Look, there's a lot of people that freeze. brim, hole, and then cook it. With the guts in it? With all the intrals in it?

Did they know how many worms are in a fish? I'm just saying, hey, I've, you know, that's... Well, hey,

some people eat fruit with the skin on. Anyways, oh, hey, that's true. Yeah, that was dumb. Didn't taste good. No,

it's good for you. There was mud in my mouth for like, oh, it's good for you. I'm not saying it's not good for you. I also not, condoning that you do it. All right, last one.

You know, that's, uh, yeah, in the world of like things that crawl across the ground, crawlfish is as far as I'm going. No feet of the animals, no pig's feet, no chicken's feet. Like, I don't even like my feet. We've got a wife. Why I want to put something else is in my mouth. I don't like feet. We've got a wife with a broken heart and we need guidance.

Brittany done emailed again. Uh, you know what? You and Brittany actually recently went through this. Uh-oh, somebody doesn't move something. Oh, I don't rearrange the kitchen. No, worse. Change their operation. Nathan, age 30,

Nathan gave a very good introduction. Nathan, age 32, Buchanan, Georgia, wife, Meredith, age 31, high school sweetheart since 2008. So we're tracking with these people. We're not guessing anything. He gave us all the information. He's about to walk into something.

He knows it's coming. It's going to rip her apart. Their dog's getting, old. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. That's a toughy. And she's never even been around.

He said she's not even much of her family's ever passed away. It's like, which I can relate to that. My wife's never like even been to a funeral and she's 30 something. Yeah, that's tough. So they moved in together back in 2012 and got the puppy then. So that dog's 12 years old. His question is he knows it's coming. It's going to hurt.

What can he do? Get another one. And name it the same thing. That's right. What in the name of Ms. Kay is going to just Bobo 17? That's right. Bobo 17, boys. Yeah.

Well, I don't know. You recently lost a dog, Martin. I did. Well, and it's my, uh, it's my brother's dog. But here's what I'll say about Jesse. I mean, she lived with me and Brittany for like four years when my, my nieces were first born. So they basically, you know, we had, we had regulation twins.

And my brother and sister-in-law had like the Irish twins. They were born like, you know, 11 months apart, basically. And, yeah, man, it's a toughie. Like, I mean, I've got a lot of, like, core hunting memories with that dog. She's a great pup. We did a lot of things together. And it's just tough, man. But here, you know, like, yeah, that was, that's what my name.

nieces sent me like once they, once they buried her, they have a little memorial for in their backyard. But it sucks, man, especially for the good ones. Like, I mean, all dogs are good, right? Like, all your pets are good. But some of them are just a little more special than others for whatever reason. And, like, she was the queen. She had the on-off switch.

Like, as soon as her collar went on, she was a hunting dog. Soon as it popped off, she thought she was a Shih Tzu. Like, she would be in your lap, like, up on top of the back of the couch. I mean, she thought she was a little dog. And she's a great family dog, like, protected those girls, loved my boys, you know, just a great dog. So that one was a tough one. But when it does happen, yeah, another one is oftentimes a distraction. It's not even about, you're never going to replace that one, right?

Like, I don't care how many you get. There's never going to be another this dog. So you just try to move on, but it is a tough one. but if you need to have a little ceremony for them. They did. The girls, my nieces wrote them, wrote Jesse notes and put in there. We buried all of her accolades with her as well. Her hunt retriever champions, ribbons and all the things.

And like her favorite blanket and toy, we put it, because they didn't want to see that anymore, right? Like, you know, those are just hard memories a lot of times, like walking by your dog's favorite blanket and once they're gone and whatnot. So that's all laid to rest with her. I am a firm believer in the movie that all dogs do go to heaven so I will see her again

and I don't care what you say if it's biblical or not it's what I believe is to get over it because I want to see my pups again man just be there for them be there through it remember the dog in a special way but I'm telling you right now

get you another one we didn't get another one and it's been weird our kids will talk about Dublin still from time to time and it's been like two years and they'll talk about them But like we had a whole funeral and I stole a gravestone from the people that lived there before us for their dog and moved it over to my dog. I don't know why save 50 bucks.

Get another one ASAP. And so, you know, it's just whatever. Well, I can't remember personally a time in my life where I didn't have a dog. Like there's never been a period of time in my memory where I did not have a dog. So that's why I'm saying get another one. Yeah. I'm just a dog guy. They're dog people.

You can tell. I just got an update from Phel and Gay's house. Y'all want to hear it? Yeah, absolutely. So my wife takes Kay home around lunchtime, and she just sent me a text. Phil fixed my plate for lunch and brought it to me. Wow. For Anna?

Yeah. Oh. Oh, I thought it for Kay, and I was even impressed. Wow. Hey, and Anna. Look at Phil Robertson turning over Newstone. He used to go to the movie theater. Mack told us about it, which still blows my mind.

My response. I don't believe it. I might have said, bring me one. Yeah. You know, whatever it was, we're good. And fried. Yeah, deep fried. There was peanut oil and or copious amount of butter involved.

I'm hungry right now. Well, Johnny, you got the first about all dogs going to heaven? I'm going to, you know what? We're going to remember our dogs. First opinions, too. Memorial Day is coming, as Martin said. And, you know, hearing the stories of just boot camp, I know it's nothing I could even go through.

and so we're all very thankful. Two men in here who have served, we're thankful for them, but all of our troops, all of our troops, families, and anyone that has ever died in the line of duty, that's the reason we could sit in here and talk about dogs and whatever it is we talk about.

And Jesus, and, you know, we're so thankful for that. And John 15, 12 and 13, my command is this, love each other as I've loved you. Greater love has no one than this to lay down one's life for one's friend. And so for all those out there, we've lost a family member in the line of service, we thank you.

Amen. That's the reason we get to do what we do, and we appreciate it. And we're going to remember them this Memorial Day, and we'll forever be grateful to be part of the crazy ride that is the United States of America. U.S.A. So you got anything? Well, then let's go home. We'll see y'all next time. That's it.

Right here on the duck call room. We're out.