Duck Call Room - Si, Godwin, and Martin React to the Last Man Neutered in West Monroe

Episode Date: December 31, 2020

Godwin looks on in abject horror, and Si and Martin can't stop laughing as John-David shares his "neutering" story. "The Last Man Neutered in West Monroe" might make a terrible Western, but it's just another day in the life of John-David. Godwin drops some sound effects worthy of "Police Academy" and says his wife is a little lippy. Si explains how he knows it's Phil and Jase flaring the ducks. He also offers his advice for a long, happy marriage and gets ready to try out his DIY tummy tuck with spandex and some sort of gel. And the boys reveal what's in store for New Year's Eve and 2021. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Air muff side. Put your earmuffs on. Put the airmuffs on. Airmuffs on. Put the airmuffs on. Because it's the moment the whole world has been waiting for. The moment of truth, boys. He was just pouring his coffee from a mile in that air.

That's impressive. That's like it. Was that hot? Yeah, it's hot. Could have burnt yourself. Hey, he just made it espresso. That's why you pour it hot. Expresso.

It does all that. It puts all that. Oh, boy. It puts all that foam on top. It's like your machines, you know. What was that again? Gobwin is really good at sound effect. Galvin, give us the 18-wheeler.

That's my favorite one. Come on. I can't do it when y'all got me on the pressure. I'm staring at you. Oh. I love it what he does. I love it. It's literally in my top.

That's like Marcel. I just want to be a log truck. Hey, he's always like Marcel, boys. He always wanted to be a longtruck. Why are you, we're ending this. There's an echo. We're ending this year exactly how it started. Weird.

You've got on two pair of sunglasses. One pair. What are you? No, that's two pairs when he goes out. The first pair, the sunglasses are not prescription. So I have to put on two pairs because mine are prescription. We're not outside. Hey, the lights are hot in here and shiny.

Okay. It's cold. It's like landing on the moon, boys. I'm too sexy for my sunglasses. Two sexy. All right, we've gone off the rails to start the final episode of 2020. New Year's Eve, 2020. We've all been waiting on it, and we're just getting weird.

Already. All right, boys. Cy going to be listening to Dubstep, and who knows what else next, and that kind of get up. I got one still supporting. him Christmas tree cakes. He still got that bag over. I found that box over there.

I bought too many. We stashed one box. I might need a snack later. That's right. You're working on these Christmas tree boys. Yeah. Well, I can assure you one thing. They still taste just as good as they do pre-Christmas.

Oh, yeah. They should sell them all year long. Look, 2020, I think, is for a lot of people. It's had a pretty negative spin. But if you want to know about that, turn your TV on. Don't listen to us because we ain't going down that road. You've come to the wrong show for negativity. Yeah, no, we're going to kind of do a year wrap up and just what happened good.

I mean, there's plenty of good that happened this year. You know, the most immediate thing personally I can think about is dead gum duck season has been like a house on fire around here. And for the first time in three, four, five years, man, it's fun. It's a lot of fun. Ducks act like ducks. You call, they lock, they turn, they get shot, you eat them, and you wake up the next morning and you do it all over again. And I'm just, for one, very excited about that fact. I'm excited about this evening because I have some tailbreast marinating in the refrigerator last night from last night.

So they've been in there all night swimming in that goulash I got. In the galosh. What's in your goulash, gullash, gullas. It is lemon juice, salt and pepper. Okay. Then, but too, good ingredients. Worcestershire sauce. Uh-oh.

Okay. Give it a little kick. And a little bit of smoked pepperyka. Okay, a little bit. Smoke a pepperyka. And it's olive oil. Sounds pretty good. And I put some stuff I got, that boss on.

Hickory smoke, bisonic vinegar. Yeah, yeah. Sonic vinegar. Got that in there. Mm-hmm. It's just easing around in there. They're just doing the backstroke in there. I go in there and massage the bag every once in a while.

They're doing it in there. They're doing the backstroke or they do them may be doing a butterfly. Well, they may be doing the breaststrokes. This is probably their breast. They're fixing to be laying on them grates on that pit boss grill. Okay, a little smoke. A little smoke with them. Sizzling.

That's that sizzling. Hey, it's making my mouth about two, 25. He reminds you that time, Jay Stone, made them wood duck breast on it. We made it through the Christmas episode. We ain't making it this episode. Hey, he grilled 25 of them bad boys up for me and Mr. Christine. She ate about two, so that means I got about 23. Well, Sweet Pete taxed you for one or two.

Oh, no, no, he was trying and he got slapped off the table. He got, all he got out of the deal with the backhand. Oh, Lord, have mercy. But, yeah, I think years are what you make of them, right? I mean, you can look at 2020 as negative all you want to or you can think about the good stuff that's happened. And, you know, around here, we tend to focus on the good. Oh, we go positive.

Amen. Because life's too short to be negative. Yeah. I ain't got time to be negative. I mean, for the first time this year, I'm looking at a man wearing two pairs of glasses. How often does that happen? Yeah. That's a great day.

And I look really good at them. Just asked him, he'll tell you. I'm looking at him over there. It actually isn't a bad look. I'm telling him. And I'm so humble, and I'm so humble anyway. Okay. Humble pie.

Humble pie, boys. Humble pie. Oh, my goodness gracious. Gawbin, what, give me one something positive that's happened with you this year. What's he got? Wow. I don't know. Recent, I guess, it's been how much me and my woman's hunting together this year.

That's a positive. That's a positive. Oh, yeah. because we got through hunting. We were sitting there. You know how she's a busybody, busybody. We was down at the camp at Jeff's camp, and we was, she was wanting to clean up.

He said, no, because we was sitting in the lazy boys. He said, getting that lazy boy over her. And you know her, she can't be still. Well, she finally got over her, and she kicked it back, and she went to sleep. So I was like, all right, now. So did you go by and throw her cup away when she went to sleep like she does all of us? No.

No. No, I'll tell you about that in a minute. That's another story. But she woke up and she looked over at me and she said, okay, I get it. I know why you love it. So I said, all right. So that was a very positive thing. There is no nap quite like a hunting camp now.

She said, I could just disappear. down here. Amen. She said, that ain't very Christian we're supposed to be. Yeah. But she said, I can get lost in these woods.

Guaranteed. The only problem is, somebody comes asking for their money at some point. I swear you've got to come back to work and all that kind of stuff. So it's, but that is.

I mean, that's a cool thing whenever, you know, a take home from all of this is, you know, from the quote-unquote quarantine and all that, social distancing and all that, is you really got to spend

a lot of time with your family and you got to kind of reconnect on a you know we we make our lives so busy that a lot of times you sit down and eat dinner together and that's about it and then you go to bed you wake up and you do it all over again the next day but you know this year there was a lot more uh time built in there to spend with family it was um you know for me and brittany i know we spent a lot of time fishing yeah you notice all them families out there that you never used to see fishing yeah the whole family on the boat man if you was in the boat building business you are singing the praises of 2020 because there was one everywhere and if you like john david the heir to a tackle shop yeah you know he just

he knocked off five years of having to work this year that's right it wasn't me working it was my parents working their butts off oh i know but your inheritance grew i can assure you of that they sold a lot of crickets in the past year and i've noticed around that owen household there's been a lot of steak and shrimp nights over the past year too. Well, yeah, you can't go out to eat. And so I live in the same neighborhood as my parents, so we walk around the court. I eat at my parents' house a lot. My kids, we go over there and Big Dave's been selling enough crickets.

We eating steak and shrimp boys. Guarantee. Hey, they ain't nothing wrong with that. See, that's the stuff that people, when you look at it at a glance, you forget about it, and you don't realize, you know, it's just, you know, for us this year, we're generally traveling around so much, speaking. and doing all of that kind of stuff that we're not home on the weekends. And this year, I got to actually do a lot of hunting camp work,

like turning dirt, riding a tractor and all that kind of stuff. And you don't realize how much you miss that until you get back on that track. I know, you know. The land work to me is just as fun as the hunting. It is. I mean, I like hatching a plan, getting it done, and then watching what the rewards are in November and December and December. December from it. So, you know, getting back to doing that again is, it's a good time.

I've thoroughly enjoyed it. So you've been awful quiet today. Well, no, no, because I was thinking Jay Stone. He does all the work out of the fields for the food plots and stuff on the deer. Okay. And then I actually get to go with him later in deer hunt, which is like he's talking about. That's part of it. Like duck hunting used to, okay, I would be part of brushing the blinds and all.

all that's part of it yeah okay see if you're done a good job no well i can tell you watching the game i can tell you from experience y'all used to do a heck of a job brushing them duck blinds because i'd get in it and couldn't even see the water the only thing i could see was straight up yeah now i noticed the ends were suspiciously wide open but that middle that's weird because the few times i went with them i couldn't even see straight up i was just sitting inside of a bush Yeah, and then they'd look over there and say, put that face pain on. Yeah, they treat you like they treat me. Yeah.

Jace always puts two big limbs right over the hole I'm close to shoot ducks out. Exactly. Okay, but I still get mine, Jay. I don't get mine. I ain't that good. Hey, you can put me in a barrel. I'll stick it out the little where you just pour it out. Uh-uh.

As long as I got that shotgun out, well, I can shoot, everything's dying. I remember the first time I went hunting down there. I got in there, and I'm a good three or four inches taller than everybody is. else around there and I get in there and there's this limb poking me in the eye every time I stand up and I reach over there and I just break that limb and Phil Hill here snap Phil said who was that what was that yeah hey who's that messing with the brush yeah he said you tie it don't break it you tie it down don't break it don't don't be breaking my brush now and I'm like it was a will of limb no bigger than my pinky around yeah and it had four leaves left on it had sticking me in the eye

Yeah, and he's like, no, don't be breaking my brush now. He said, if you brush it, you can break it, but you wouldn't brushing it. So don't break it. I was like, God, Lee, you drive a hard bargain around here, man. That's when I always get tickle talking about, hey, you flared them ducks, I. And I said, no, boys, I didn't flare it. I said, you need to look where you're standing. I said, there's two openings in this blind.

One of them's on Jason's in, the other one's on Phil's in. So if anybody's flaring the ducks, it will be one of those two. Thank you. I said, thank you. And call me later. That's right, call me later. Oh, and on that note, we are going to take our first break. All right, look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedale's beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good.

Our friend, Sao Robertson, would say, bye on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef.

I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat eater, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash That's trybeef.com slash Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. I'm ready for size 2020-story. 20-20-story, boy, I ain't even got one.

Huh? The kid ain't on his game today. Whatever. Tea jug's still full. Hey. Yeah, get you a shot of that. Some of that side makes, isn't you? Hey, he's pouring it all over.

I just poured it all on me, boy. Well, then if you ain't. on your game side we're going to let john david kick us up john david give me something from 2020 2020 what do you what i was with you most of the time we were we spent a couple months of the office it was just me and you a couple other people store was closed what it well i had one interesting moment what happened is it family friendly it is okay well yeah i was i was the last person on earth i think to get a slight procedure done to make sure there was no more children flowing from my house.

I remember that. You were on your woman off? No, no. They shut down the whole country. And then the doctor's office called me and said, hey, if you still want to do this thing, come on up here, we'll put mask on. And I went and got snipped.

I'm technically neutered. And it happened in March of 2020. He was the last man to get a vasectomy in the town of West Monroe. Okay. Pre-shutdown. I thought we were talking about positive stuff. That is, hey, come to my house, hang out with all of my children,

and you'll be like, that is probably positive that you're not. Oh, have you ever been around that wild bunch he's got? We know what causes that, don't you? Yeah, and I wanted to keep doing that. So we shut off one of the valves on him there, and so I'm good. We are officially with, I have a six-year-old, a four-year-old, and about to be two-year-old, like in a week. And so we said that's good.

We're shutting it down. I guess practice makes perfect. Guaranteed it. But it was nice because the whole world was stove up in their house, and I was stuck in bed for like three days. I even, you know, I was like, hey, let's make it a fourth. I just kind of sat there. Run it back.

Took a couple days off from work, like the rest of the world. It was weird. Gobwin had a look on his face akin to you like killing his dog or something. I know, man. I'm sorry. I'm perfectly happy with it. I volunteered. He said he volunteered for this job, boys.

I said, how do we just, I think we're done. I think three is solid. We were always saying we're going to have four, and then we just had three that were just like me. And it was like, I think three's good. And then your wife said, that's it. Yeah. She said, we're done.

We're done. Did it hurt? No, it actually doesn't. They give you an IV, make you feel real weird. Then a couple minutes later, you walk out to the car. You waddle. I mean, you're walking funny. Well, I know they put you to sleep during the surgery.

No. No, no, you can hear it, Godwin. You watch it. No, this is, this is, yo. I could see smoke coming up from my lap. Look at this guy. No, no. It freaked me out, but it didn't hurt that bad.

And so then my wife drove me to the Walmart. She went inside about some frozen peas. So I sat in the car, contemplating. my whole life drove me home. I got in bed. Three days later, I got out of bed

and was good to go. They had you drugged up where you didn't tell you. Oh, yeah. No, I was... Jay D. Just got a three-day vacation. Smoke, wait.

No, they burned. To shut off the valve, they burn it. It's like clearing land. Once you're a bus file, you've got to burn it. I'm not sure. I don't know if that metaphor is right.

Well, hey. I've never thought of it in that regard. It's more like a rope. You burn the end of it to make sure it doesn't fray. Hey, look. Well, there's smoke. There's fire, boy.

No, I heard the fire. They send something down there. I don't even like doing that to dog, to horses. The funny part is I felt worse about doing it to my dog than I did about myself. Well, yeah. I was in. I was sold on the idea. Well, Godwin, here's the thing, though.

I mean, I have a very good friend that got it done. one thing led to another and he he he he got an undone no so there's a hard there's a path back so you can undo it oh yeah you can undo it there is a path back we don't think i won't be cut on dinner or twice snip snap snip snap snap snip no no i didn't want to do it once but hey if i need if i if i if me and my wife which we just got me hey 20 20 10 year anniversary a couple weeks ago so that's a good thing too but If we want another one, we will adopt one. There's plenty of kids out there that need a love at home. We're talking about it, kind of.

Maybe do that one day, but I'm good on biological children. I've done my part. It's kind of like a Christmas present, you know, when you put the bowl top tight, and when you get ready to have them again, just untie it. Actually, that's a very expensive Christmas present to untie it. Or to tie it back? Yeah. Or to tie it back.

It's a retight. It ain't an untie. It's a retail. The doctor went through it. He was like, just in case, and he started going through it, I said, timeout. No, no, no, no. If this was ever in the cars, I wouldn't be here now. Yeah, we're going to do this.

We're going to do it for good, boys. And I recommended a friend, but they didn't send me like a gift card or anything. Didn't get a coupon? But if anybody needs to know a great doctor. No, from the doctor, I wanted like a discount. But I can't get another one. I always get tickled at those vasectomy doctors. because they run specials, like, around the masters,

like, you know, you go in and get it done on Wednesday, and you watch the golf tournament Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and like, by Monday, hey, you're back up and rolling. So, I schedule. All my days, you're ready to go again. Ready to rock. So I scheduled mine in the first weekend of March Madness. Yeah.

And I was like, this is going to be legit. I'm just going to watch basketball for three days. And then they said, cancel it. So I said, I'm, all right, I'll just watch movies. Yeah. Play, play stuff. I'm just saying I would do it again

if they're like hey five years you got to do it again I'm like hey I turn on me TV and watch them I almost want a cigarette It's not that bad

It is I mean now I can I got some friends That I can tell you stories I won't even smoke It doesn't got He got to run that coffee back So there's my positive

2020 Had a vasectomy He had a vasectomy Hey, there you go. And you ain't had no more kids. So it took. It worked. Yeah, there you go.

That's a good thing. It's been nine months, no new children. I'm telling you, we, it was. I understand it. Me and my wife, we'd get pregnant easy. So I was like, you know what? Yeah, y'all's a couple fertile murdals. Yeah.

They didn't take y'all no time. Yeah, we had three kids in like eight years. Yeah. Yeah, I understand it. Okay, because I've got four grandsons from each of my children. it. Scott gave me four when he got married and then Trace had done the same thing. And you say, okay, wait a minute, we done try this four times and that's what we come up with. Yeah, you need to shut the factory

off time. Because hey, what you got, what you brought into this world ain't working. Wow. You keep making the same mistake over and over and over and over. I'm not saying I made any mistakes. I'm just tired. But hey, I love my grandchildren, okay, don't get it wrong. It sounds like it. Oh, I do. Hey, they're destruct those boys.

He loves to whoop their tail. Oh, hey, no. They destroy everything. Okay, but I probably did too when I was a kid. Okay, so, hey, that's just laugh. There's one thing all eight of them have in common, and it's your blood. I'm glad that you, uh, calling that positive.

Most assuredly a positive. I thought by building the fire was right on time. And perfect, okay. Because he said smoke, hey, well, they're smoked as fire boys. Guaranteed there is. Guaranteed that. Oh, my goodness gracious. I can't believe they don't put you to sleep.

I know. Looking at the man and I. No, we ain't looking at nothing. Yeah, look. That thing now is akin to an oil chain. Yeah. Oh, they could drive through. Yeah.

That's it. That's it. I like that. It's a good analogy. It's a drive-thew, boy. I got your doctor if you just want to go get one. All right. Just beep, beep.

No. Okay. Go ahead. Ms. Paula got all her energy out anyway. See, my wife said she ain't doing it. I have to end it, boys. So I. Well, she had to.

What are you laughing at? Did you just use the phrase, innards? Well, I ain't nothing, isn't it? 2020 the year of the facetum. Hey, next week, next week I'm going to be discouraging Oborate surgery. Oh, my goodness.

She had to get her ovaries up. Oh, so you didn't even have to cross this bridge. Yeah, you'd have been there too. Had the bridge been built? It was a pretty big. Oh, deal. Oh, yeah. For a couple of years.

Then Mayo Clinic. Them people's got it going on up there. They fixed everything. Got it all. And now, Miss Paula. Ooh. That's why I said practice makes perfect. She a pistol, son.

She fired up about everything. Yeah. Guarantee. She's a little lippy. I remember the first time you told me that. Tell everybody what you're going to put on her headstone. here lies paula she was a little lippy she'll tell you the same thing you asked

hey quit mumbling that's right quit mumbling no way that's what she says to him all the time you're mumbling again yeah and I'm she can't hear how many years have y'all been married 30 30 see I'm only a third of the way

I can't call my wife lippy yet she is I just can't say it out loud you just did I tell you, the boy's more than he looks. Yeah, I know. Every time he gets lippy, that's what I say, yeah, pow.

Marriage gets better and better. Oh, yeah. I will say year 10 was the best year. Even in the midst of 2020, living in a house with three children hanging from the ceiling fans, it was the best year we've had by far. They lived in a zoo. I can't speak for the youngest,

but that oldest and that middle one, The youngest is the craziest one. She's insane. No, I know that. She beats the other two up. Well, I can believe that. Do you ever go over Jay Stone's house with your kids? No.

That's too much. There's too many children there. Being Stone having an agreement. Because Sage, if y'all was talking about she's bad, you know, who. Hey, you're talking like Stone likes house guests. That's out. I mean, he ain't ever invited nobody over. Are you kidding?

Oh, Lee. Just sad. Yeah. Phil says Stone. come out of the womb, looked around, and said, I don't know about it. Yeah, I don't know about it. So you didn't do that right.

So I'd have done this way different. Oh, man. Well, on that note, let's go to our next break. Why don't we? 20. Well, the question everybody wants to know, Saab, what is your New Year's resolution? Oh, my goodness.

I don't even make one because I can't keep it. Why make something that you do? know good and well okay nope i ain't able to handle it boys because it gives you a chance I mean you at least have something to work for here like no no I mean you don't

all right and on that we're gonna take our next break yeah I mean way to just pop that's terrible new year's resolution's over yeah way to pop the balloon son come on come on side you gotta have something you gotta even have something you just thought it

new year's resolution we got 10 minutes. I think I might do this, but no. What could you change in your life for the better? What would I change in my life for the better? Yeah. I would make Ms. Christine sweet instead of mean.

Well, you are somewhat in control of that. What's your plan? What's your plan? No. She must be kin to my kin folks, okay? Uh-oh. She's got a mean straight to her, like the hobbsers and the hail. boys, hey, it's just something you can't,

you can't get that out of people, okay? It's one of them deals that it's got to work its way out. Might I? And they always work it out on someone else. Might I recommend a thing of flowers from Bloomsy Box? There you go. It always helps. Well, I might try that.

You ain't even got to go to store. You just order them. Just order it and they deliver. Don't let her open a box, so you got to beat them out there. But for real, we need to get Sye a New Year's resolution, because the only New Year's resolution he said so far is one he made up for his wife. Yeah.

You need your own resolution. I need your own. My own resolution. Yeah. Oh. Either that or we need... Well, so you're trying to put the blame on me now. Nope.

We're not putting no blame on you. We're just trying to keep you going this way, so we're trying to go up. Okay. Okay. I want you to stay here with us. We need to... Let's figure out something. Well, here, I'll turn it around on you.

Okay. I figured that was coming. Yeah. What would you like to see different? in me. Oh, absolutely nothing. I think you're a fantastic

here. See, then what I need resolution for since I'm perfect. Because everybody makes one. Yeah,

but if you ain't got no flaws, son, why, what are you talking about? It's hard to argue with the man's logic. That is sound logic.

He said, what do you want me to change? And we all said, nothing. We got to like you. Yeah. I like you the way you are. You don't know how.

Just bring me to marriage. Okay. All right. We're back. And here's my tip for those that are dating, okay, and are maybe getting closer than you want to. We actually had an email of someone wanted your advice for marriage.

I'm going to give you the marriage. Here we go. Look, hey, you date for what, two years? Okay, and you fall in love with this guy or this girl because you liked the way she is or the way he is. So, hey, here's what you do not do. you dummies. Once you sign the dotted line,

the first thing you try to do is change him or change her. Have you lost your mind? The reason you fell in love with her or him is, okay, is you like what you saw. So don't spend your lifetime, okay, what's left of it, because most of them get divorced because of that very reason. They try to change each other. statement. And that's true statement. It is. Yeah. Well, I would say, yeah, on that regard, you know,

most of the problems in marriage generally arise from like unmet expectations. Yeah. Yeah. And you, you should know what to expect by that point. Yeah. If you've dated for two years, yeah, you should know him pretty good or her pretty good. Yeah, that's exactly right, unless they're a really good liar. Yeah. Which in that case, you got to snuff that out from the get-go. That's that. Well, that's why you date two years. Yeah. Okay, you watch them closely.

Yeah. Oh, I'm with you. I thought, I was going to dump it on me for my New Year's resolution. That's when he flipped that trip. I'm all turning around on you. I was like, should we make one for everybody?

I do like that, but I also like the duck call room, marriage advice. Yeah. I think we might have to do a whole episode on Uncle Cyes' advice for a long and happy marriage. And let's bring Christine in, too. Well, hey, yeah, bring her in because, hey, here's the truth of the matter. Learn to say, yes, ma'am, a lot.

There's two things that never get old. Yes, ma'am, I was wrong. That's right. If you can say those two words, yes, ma'am, I know, I'm known. It will help out a lot in your love life. This is great advice for 2020. That's right. Great advice for 2022, okay, because, hey, guess what?

divorce rate is up folks they can't live together too much time together yeah especially if you can't go out and you say oh oh i've been here for three months with this woman and we went out yet oh lord heaven mercy oh that's good stuff back on positive boys oh no we're sticking with the positive the funny thing about my new year's resolution is i don't make them until February 1st that's what i'm talking about Hey. Do it and then make one.

Yeah. No. I like it. I like it for Simperin. He's actually thought about it, boys. Well. Don't make it January first. Well, the problem with that is most of them revolve around some kind of lifestyle change or healthy something or another, you know, or this, that, the other.

Or diet. Well, everybody knows during duck season, you eat what's available. So that's out. Like, you can't, you ain't packing nose. bowl of quinoa to the to the duck boy i ain't in a keen why i ain't either cause i've never heard of it so i ain't gonna have it i don't even know what it is yeah it's what is it's what people want to replace rice with and that's just a bad call rice is good mallards eat it i eat it let's go with it but let's just but that's what i do i wait till february first one i know i'm in a little bit more

control of the circumstances around me and i know there's a reasonable expectation by then all Christmas tree cakes are gone. You know, and Valentine's candy is eh, eh, well, doesn't really blow my skirt up. I don't like chocolate. Huh? Just a solid chocolate

something. No, I'm a cake eater. Yeah, he's a good. I like a solid chocolate. A little Debbie's out. Well, he's out. Yeah, I like a, I like my dessert at almost like a casserole farm. I don't want no solid hunk of chocolate. But you give me a Snickers? I'm interested. You give me a racy's? Very

interesting. Or chocolate covered pie. Oh, Lord. Or chocolate covered cherries. Now, then you got something. Chocolate covered cherry. I could eat a box of them right now. Could you?

I could eat. I'm serious. I could eat a box of them. You may order something? No. No, J.D. I need to. Welcome to this belly boy.

Look, right. Oh, we got there. Oh, this is what I got. Well, guess what? Then I've done something about that. Because I just wrote. I just ordered my tummy tuck. Oh, boy.

And it's come in. I hadn't used it yet, but it's coming in. Do you do it yourself? Oh, oh, yeah. This is, hey, look, you got two things. You get the tummy tuck and a gel. Time out. No, no, no, no.

Let's time out. Let's take a break. No, and let's roll this right after this break. All right. We need a break. I ain't got time for no time out. I've got to mentally prepare myself for whatever you're about to say. Wow.

All right, sir. You got to do it together. Let's hear about this tummy tuck, sir. Okay, look. I haven't used it yet because, hey, for the last five days, I've been in Tulsa, Oklahoma with Eagle Pipeline people because I am their goodwill ambassador. Okay.

And we had run for five days, and I have life so much for five days that I hurt all over. But anyway, my tummy tuck come in while I was gone, so I haven't used it yet. And you get two things. You get the tummy tuck that fits around it. It's like a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Spandex deal.

It's tight form fitting, okay? Side I got him some spanks. No, no, yeah. That's what he got. Spanx? Spanx. Oh, spanks, okay. But anyway.

It's underwear that goes to your nipples is what I got. Well, there you go. But, hey, before you use it, you've got to put the magic gel on your tummy. Is that so it'll slide over your tummy? No, no, no, no. Nope, you put it on. You put the gel on, put the tummy tuck on, and then you've got to do the stomach exercises.

which is just push out and tuck in, push out like that a few times to make the gel activate. Then you lose your tummy. He ordered that at 1 o'clock in the morning watching TV. Did you get an extra one? No, that was after 16 days of running. Getting up at 430 months hunting all day long and I was pretty run down. That's the reason to order. So you ordered an at-home tummy tuck.

That's right, at-home tummy tuck. And you're going to start at January the 1st. No, I'll fix it start it tomorrow. Which is January the 1st. Yeah. Yeah, we're there, son. Time travel. Jumping time and space.

Stick with me here. Where did the month of December go? It's gone. It's gone. Boy, it felt like just yesterday was the 15th. Oh, I'm telling you. BOW! We wanted a Christmas vacation, too, people.

That's right. We weren't one. Oh, my goodness. I cannot. Hey, can you do me a favor? What was that? Can I come over when you're doing your stomach exercises? No.

No, this is one thing you don't share. Can you do me a favor and never tell me when you're doing that jail? Don't ever call me and tell me. Hey, J.D. I'm doing my tummy. So it took us. 19 minutes to get Sai's new year resolution out,

but he's going to try to lose his belly. He got one. I'm going to try to use his basketball. And I have the same New Year's resolution as Cy. A tummy, you got a tummy? No, no, no. I'm just going to eat less.

Better to say. No, no, last year I lost 20 pounds. Then they shut the country down, and I said, watch this. I can gain that back just as quick as I lost it. Plus 10. So my 2019, my 2020 resolution,

I lost weight. I did not keep the resolution to keep the way off. Hey, I can help you out on this, JD. I don't want that thing. No, no, no. I can tell you what to do for you lose. Okay, what you need to lose. Does it include gel and spandas?

No, okay. I'm in. Tell me. Well, hey, get rid of all of little Christmas crates. We ain't there yet, son. January 1st is tomorrow. You got to get rid of little Debbie boys. He's still a stash behind you, huh?

There's some in my office, too. I bought seven boxes last week. I can see JD right now in the safe going. Do you keep your snacks in a safe? Yeah, you do. Otherwise, that bunch you got, you called kids. It's a much easier safe. We'll rate them, boys.

We'll raid them. It's just safe. He said that bunch you call kids. Golly. Unreal. Hey, Galvin. Mine are not kids. What are they?

They're destructos. Destructos. Because every time they, they come visit, hey, stuff gets tore up. Like young raccoons, ain't they? Oh, yeah, no, no. And I ain't going to say it. What?

There's a saying it goes with young raccoons. What is it? Whatever they don't poop on, they tear up. Yeah. Well, that sounds about right. Yeah, okay. When you call somebody a destructo, that's kind of what I would figure they'd leave in their path. Oh, yeah, they leave, you know they've been there.

Easy man to track. Yep, easy man to track. All broken stuff. Got one? You got one? not really he said not really boys so god was perfect that's good i'm not perfect i'm just i just he made a resolution he ain't perfect he's just happy where he's at hey contentment i can hey that can be that can be one somebody longing for contentment

stay in course i get it boys yeah there's nothing wrong with being content at all that's actually you're supposed to be exactly right be content where you at yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna try to keep on the downward trend now that my back doesn't hurt anymore. Last year, like 2019 was miserable. You've been jogging? I have been jogging. I've been jogging. I've been riding a bicycle. Uh-oh. That's as disturbing as a vasectomy if you ask me. Like my friends are now jogging. Now, my bicycle, don't get it twisted. She got a motor. So when you get to that part of the hill that really sucks, you just hit the gas. You hold the throttle down. I ride a bicycle, but I don't Hold it.

No, I got a motor old man, boy. Yeah, when you get to the, hey. That's called a motor cycle. Yeah, I would just fix it when he said, you're jogging and riding the bicycle. I said, hey, if you ever see me jogging or riding a bicycle, get your gun and load it. And then shoot what's chasing me. Get the blasting, boys. No, I got one of them, I got one of them e-bikes, man.

And it actually makes riding a bicycle folks. You know, like if you're climbing a hill on a bicycle for somebody that doesn't do it a lot. You get about three quarters up it. It starts to suck. Well, when it gets to sucking, you just hold the throttle down. And your little electric motor takes over? No, no, it don't do no. No, you don't ever even know it's running.

That's why if you're jogging. Something like that. Yeah, it's more like a segue sound or whatever. Okay. All right, we're back to the Gowan sound. Yeah, that little. Tytune for next week, Gowan does all of his sounds. Gowin tries out.

for Police Academy, the remake. That guy made that movie. Didn't he? I'm serious. That guy made that movie, period. Without him? I don't know. You're not, you've never seen Police Academy?

Oh, no. I'm having to Google what Police Academy even is. Oh, my goodness gracious. Yeah. Society has done you no favors if you haven't watched Police Academy. If you haven't watched Police Academy, because who's the big tall guy? It came out. High Tower.

Yeah, High Tower. Yeah. High Tower and the guy Yeah, High Tower and the guy that done the sound effects I can't remember his name, the sound effects guy. 1884.

Read me the cast list. You're looking at it. Years since I've gone. Steve Gutenberg. Yeah, he's the lead. Bubba Smith. No. Bubba Smith was called High Tower.

Yeah, Bubba Smith was High Tower. But the guy that made all the noises. I wasn't alive. So I have no idea who these people are. Oh, you've got to go watch. police i'm looking at his face that needs to be on your 20 21 resolution that was made back of 1900 just because of the guy making the sound effect what was his name michael something yeah it michael margoulez

no i don't think that's he did the cinematography i'm looking at the whole thing what is the guy's name hold on time out i'm looking at his face and i can't i can't come up with the name but i love to watch him watch him watch tv tvubber cam cuttrell bubba smith Donovan Scott, Michael Winslow. Michael Winslow. There it is. I know it was Michael. Michael Winslow.

That's it. Yeah. Oh, man. He did all. Those sounds were so good. I love that movie. Hey, I wasn't born then either. Hey, who was the guy that was standing and had the podium in front of him?

And the other guy, the star, one of the stars there, and the girl was inside the podium? Oh, yeah. It's those 80s movies. It's like naked gun and all that kind of slapstick humor. It was good stuff. It was hilarious. Yeah. And the guy was the whole time during the movie,

the guy is behind the scenes making all these weird noises with his mouth. Michael Winslow. You got to watch it. I cannot believe you've never seen Police Academy. That blows my mind. I don't know. You've seen other movies that were made when you weren't born. That was a good one.

I haven't seen a lot of movies. That's like Jackie coming there. Yesterday, he said, he called back. He donated three times, but he called again. That was stolen. He was calling to give some sort of bad news, I'm sure. This is a good news episode only.

Jackie come in there yesterday, and he said, there's a New Western come out, Jeremiah Johnson. It was good. New Western? No. With Robert Redford, Traits. Yeah, that ain't a new one. I said, no.

That ain't a new. No, that's old. 172 that wasn't that ain't a new one either you hadn't seen that one whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa that used to be the right of passage to work here like you had three movies you had to watch that's one of them right there

outlaw Josie Wells hadn't seen it oh good Lord Jeremiah Johnson hadn't seen it yeah come on little Josie let's get washed up police academy no police academy wasn't on the list that's just a time

it's no brother where art thou third no but that's a great one I'm the new age you're different that's for sure no the other one you you got to pick between once upon a time in the west and the good the bad and ugly

never seen it either one he goes that where they catches that fly in the barrel yeah and he shakes it every once while and then Branson comes up there that's who they're waiting on they're going to kill him and all you hear is that at harmonica yeah and that old man meals

says I hear that harmonica I said somebody he'll fix the dine. That old windmills scratch and need some grease on him burns. And then the guy, the water on his hat? Yeah. I guess I need to go watch some westerns.

Branson walks up and says, looks like you got too many horses. No, the other guy said, he said, we're one horse short. Yeah, he said, we're one horse short. And then Bronson said, yeah, Bronson looks and says, no, you've got too many. Too, too many.

Yeah, you got two, too many. Bob, bop, pop. Yeah, over. That's why I said. Then the homonica kicked in again. But that's the deal. You've never worked in the duck call room. That's the problem.

No, no. Is this what y'all did in the duck call room? He's watched westerns? Since he done that, here's the deal. And the good, bad, and ugly, all of them sounds for that movie track. is a one man, listen to me, one man with a guitar. Don't die, Blondie.

Name John Godwin. No, no, no, no, no. It's an old man that plays the guitar and makes all them weird sounds between the guitar and his mouth. So there's two types of men in this world. What's that? Those that dig.

And those with a gun. Dig. Dig. Guess which one you are? Dig. No, no. Look, we should have Al on this one. Because on movies, Al's the guy that can do all the one-liners.

Oh, Gary. All of them. Okay, and actually pretty good, you know, it actually sounds. My favorite, my favorite Al movie story is Phil at Christmas took the whole family to see Death Wish with Charles Bronson in it. You remember that one? That's, that's, there's nothing more Phil Robertson than that. Go watch a Charles Bronson movie the night before Christmas. Here's what we're doing this jolly season.

We're going to go watch Death Wish. You can't make that stuff up, man. That is good stuff. Oh, man. Well, let's take another break, and then we're going to come back, wrap this baby up. Oh, I've got to go for that. And years.

What I do for New Year? What do I do to ring in the New Year? I'd love to know. What do you do for New Year's Eve, sign? You're on. You're on. Tell me. The break is over.

Well, y'all didn't say, we're back, Jack. We're back, Jack. Well, hey, here's what I do for New Year's Eve. Oh, I ring it in, all right, with 20 gates with high velocity fours. Okay, on them ducts when they get in the decoys. At midnight? That's not legal. That morning. I don't stay awake to ring in the New Year's.

I get up at daylight. That's when I go ringing in. Hold on. What is your average bedtime on New Year's Eve? On New Year's Eve, probably 10 o'clock. I hit the bed. That's because he just woke up at 9.30. He woke up at 9.

Well, no, no. Hey, you just brought up a bathroom. Hey, look here. You just brought up a good deal. Look, I got a C-PAP that I wear at night. Mm-hmm. Okay, one of them breathing apparatus? Yeah, so does go.

Okay, and I got to looking at my summary of my, what sleep I got, you know, 12 hours, 13. You know, my average is about 12 hours a night. And you wake up at 4 o'clock to go, done. It's not quite night. He starts about 10 o'clock tomorrow. Do you sleep more than 12 hours? Oh, yeah. When I go, I look, I get about a two-hour nap every day.

Sometimes it's running up four. Whether you need it or not. Whether I need it or not. If I'm really tired from duck hunting getting up 4, 30 a.m., then it would be 4 hours. That was one of my favorite things when I first started here was Sye. That's when we were working out filling case. He's the only man I know that would take a pre-lunch night.

nap and a post lunch nap. Come in and drink a cup of coffee. Make about 17 reads. And then, I'm going to go take a nap. And the bad, you know, the other employees of that commander, he kind of irritated to them. It really did. And Phil just said, hey, y'all boys get off of him.

Hey, you don't need any reads, do you? And they said, no, he's doing his job. Leave him alone. Yeah. He would take a pre-and-post lunch nap. That was fantastic. I spent 24 years in the military, 24 and a half, okay, and I got a nap every day. That's amazing.

That's awesome. That's hard to pull off. Gaba, what's yours in Miss Paula's New Year's Eve plan? Well, I used to never stay up, but everybody's going to be gone for Christmas. The family's going to different places, so we've made that our one big get-together. so this time I'm going to stay up. Oh, I know what they're going to do. Yeah, I know what they're going to do after all the party's over.

Uh-oh. This is a family show, sir. I know it's a family show, but, hey, him and Ms. Paula's going to play reindeer games. And, hey, I like it. You can put your money on that. That's what I know you're pretty good there, buddy. Okay. Oh, uncomfortable.

All right. I don't know what we're talking about anymore. Oh, anyway. Okay, Johnny D, you got them little wild Indians. What y'all going to do? They'll probably be in bed about 7.30. We'll let them stay up and we'll like have a fake new year for them. Happy New Year, I get in bed.

Because they're too young. Watch the New Year's in Australia. Golly, look at there. That's awesome. Happy New Year. And then me and my wife will probably sit on the couch. There's an age. It's about when you have kids like under four,

you don't get the New Year party do your own and then just hang out she watches you play war zone if she goes to bed before New Year's obviously play a little war zone ringing in the new year on Call of Duty

oh boy no we normally watch the ball drop at 11 and call it good and hit the sack It's that facetomy Yeah that's what it is Well it's a family show There's other stuff that might happen No strings attached

Hey, it's all good. I like it. So it's New Year's in Australia before it's New Year's here. Ain't it? Yeah, yeah. That's the way it works. Oh, I have no idea. That's real early.

It's like 9 a.m. I have no idea. Brazil's New Year's at like 10 p.m. So if you're like, I don't want to go to bed at 10, just watch Brazil's New Year's. Yeah, you can watch all. Just adjust your time. England? England, you can get a six hour jump on.

We had somebody from the UK email us one time. Really? Yeah. They said, I love the show. And they're going to love going to New Year's six hours, before us. They win. Yeah.

They got plenty of time wake up and go duck hunt. I think it's still midnight, though. It is. Yeah, I know. I don't know that there's a lot of ducks in England. Oh, it is. They, they there.

They're there. They're there. They're there. Germany's got ducks. Yeah. They all over there. France's got ducks. Everybody got ducks.

That's right. Hey. Amen. Learn something new every day. Gary and tell you. Well, Sa, you got an inspirational quote

going into 2021. J.D. said he had one. He's turning it over to me. He's turning it over. He's turning it over. JD, boy. Oh, it's a neat. No pressure, but you're about to encourage everybody going into 2021.

2021. 2021, ready? Revelation. Forgot the chapter. 21.4. Last book of the Bible. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.

For the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, I'm making everything new. So no matter what, 2020. looks at one day all things will be new. Excellent. I love it. I love it.

Let's go to 2021. All right with that, boys. Hey, if I don't fire you up, you would sweat, boys. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.