Duck Call Room - Si Only Has One Vice ... OK, Maybe Two

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

Uncle Si gets called out by Martin for claiming he only has one vice. John-David discovers Si was born on the perfect day. Si insists Bella Robertson has COVID, but since no one else has heard that news, Martin calls her to get to the bottom of it. Godwin decorates his mic in true Godwin style. Si tells the story of the time he injured himself while making duck calls. The guys share stories about how Phil "babies" his equipment. And John-David kicks off a new segment called "That’s No Good" and recalls the time his wife made him beignets with an unexpected crunch. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Besides, did you do anything yesterday? No. What was yesterday? You come and checked on us? Yep. You come up to the office? I worked out Monday. I worked out Tuesday.

Today's Wednesday. He said, I can't believe. He said, I can't believe two pounds. You have worked out three days in a row. He worked out three days in a row. He went. That's looking great. Two pounds heavier.

He said, I can't believe. I went from three to five, and I said, I can't believe two pounds. Make that a big of a difference. Well, you're picking them up over your head? Oh, yeah. Oh, I was. Huffing and Puffington. Well, you got two of them, so really it's four pounds.

It's really four pounds. Well, it's ten pounds, yeah. Yeah. Now, it's five each hand. You went from six to ten. I went from no. I went from three to five. Three to five.

But you got a five and a five. Yeah. You got ten. Ten. Ten. And then you had three and three. That's six. Yeah.

Okay. Oh, I didn't think of that way. Yeah. That's right. It is six to ten. That's what I'm. It ain't two pounds. It's four pounds.

Yeah. crying it out loud. But I may think about the difference between a six-pound fish and a ten-pound. That's big. Yeah, that's a big difference. Six-pounder you can hold up like this. Ten-pounder, you've got to cradle him a little bit, you know. Why this snow it just kicked my ring because I was.

Well, better you than me. But I always do feel better afterwards. Oh, I ain't no doubt. It is working on that. It is working on that. Hey, that little muscles pumping up, boys. Uh-oh. On that arm.

So when I do poppy next time? It might actually hurt. Yeah, it may actually sting a little bit next time. It mainly just scares me. Sideway to 72 years to try and get biceps. I like that. That's fantastic. Did you have a big two years.

He's getting on fired up for that wall? I'll make it 73, boys. Red hair. I'm running, I'm running towards 74. I was given the benefit of the doubt on the first year you may have actually cared. Or somewhere in there, like 8, 15, and 16? I've never cared. Because, hey, that has always been skinny, so, hey, that's just what it is.

Got to live with it, boys. You know. You got to suck it up and deal with it. That's the thing. I don't know nothing about that being skinny life. I ain't, I ain't been here. Martin said he ain't never had that experience. I hate, oh, who.

Him things are sharp, ain't he? I hope I don't hit a naked bar. What do we do? I, musicians put guitar picks in their microphone stand. I put crappie bait. That's so they can use them if they drop them. Well, I know. Well, hey, John's over and he's putting fish baits on his microphone.

Okay. Crappy magnet. Cropy magnets, buddy. It didn't act like a magnet, though. It fell off. It stuck you. Well, it's only a magnet for crappies, not for metal. I've got to put a slap curly on this.

Well, Bella. Does Bella have COVID? Yeah. That's what my wife told me. Unless she's reading old news. I haven't heard. I mean, that's... I was just with both of her parents eating fried chickens.

I thought they was gone. You hadn't heard nothing about that either, J.D? No. About Bella having a COVID? I don't, I think... That might be fake news, man. Well, hey, my wife told me... It may have been the first time she caught it.

It may just now be hitting the Internet. The wire? Well, I'm just telling you. Hey, she told me and said, hey, look, you know, she was looking at her computer and said, Bella's got COVID. Got the pandemic. pandemic.

She's got the covert. She's got the covert. That's worse than COVID. I don't know. I don't know. Well, somebody needs to check. I want to know for sure. Call her up.

I'm trying to check. Time out. You hit this table so much my computer doesn't work. Well, I hate to a piece of trash anyway, J.D. Piece of junk. Hey, you know what today is? No. No.

National Dog Day. Is it? It is. You need to pet your dog I need to pet my dog Easy boy Bella So your uncle

Si is out here spreading Maybe a rumor Potentially rumors That you have COVID We want to know if it's true or not Yeah Had it since October Where is he getting that phone?

My wife must have seen that from the internet Christine found it somewhere Yeah Now, Sy comes in asking us how you're... Well, I was asking to find out if you're all right, darling. That was October of last year. Okay. That was October.

Well, hey, look, she's healed up just fine. Leave it up to me, okay? I never get the news. Y'all never tell me nothing. Rather than your uncle call you, he just starts spreading news. I don't have her phone. I mean... He doesn't have a phone.

Hey, the Willie Robertson family, I had to drive over there and crash his gate to see him. Okay, so I don't hear this job. That's a story for a number. another time. All right, Susan. We're glad you're going to. We're just checking on you, babe, to make sure you're right. We're glad you're safe.

That's it. All right. Love you, Susan. That's a wild episode. Good work, Martin. I notice you ain't got it now. Who else? Let's call somebody here.

Hold on. That was biblical, by the way. When you hear a rumor, you go straight to the sword. That's right. And you solve the problem. That's it. And then you stop the rumor. Now the rumor is squash.

That's what? The rumor is squashed. Bella does not had it, but she has had it before. It's 10 minutes ago. But it's not near bad as Anderson. Well, I'm just saying, hey. Yeah. I was checking on my family.

Okay, I want to make sure there's all right. Well, there goes topic number one. I just thought it would be bizarre if Bella would have it and not tell us because she facetined me two days ago about cooking deer steak. Oh, okay. And I'm like, she's cooking deer steak? She just watched mine and Gobind's YouTube video on how to cook deer steak. She was like, I got a couple questions.

Yeah, how to cook this? Okay. You know, it's funny? Well, we just run her through the whole thing. I know. I said, I wanted to say, rewind. Oh, she didn't go out and kill it. Hey, what do you buy this?

Stake? Where do you get these? You get what? From the woods. In the woods. You get them from in the woods. No, she actually had questions about the dredge for the frying of the deer. Bella's a cook.

Oh, yeah. Because she called, she messaged my wife the other day and said, hey, whenever you are all better, I need to come to your house and learn your sourdough tricks. And I was like, what is happening to bed? Well, I mean, she's a baker. You know what I did last year? She's a baked and or shaking, boys? Sire cream.

Yeah, I remember that. What did you put sour cream on? Deer steak. Oh, good cream. I put sour cream on. I had a big bowl. Oh, you don't lost your mind. Sire cream.

Well, ain't nothing left. And I put it in there with sour cream and then put flour on it and fried it. Yeah, I didn't want to get it. And then boys eat that thing. These boys around here eat anything. All right, boys. You put sour cream as the. Hey, it's the egg wash.

Yeah, it's the egg wash. Oh, yeah. Hey, look, I tell you right now, I was one of them boys, and I ate it. Was it good? Well, that's what? Hey, I just, hey, that, hey. It wasn't bad. What's wrong with, what do you got against buttermilk and eggs?

Well, I just want to try something different. Well, the other problem is, the other problem is, the other problem is, we're in Sundance, Wyoming. The grocery store is, hey, Johnny got one. He was in a mood, sour cream mood. So, hey, he done it. Let me tell you. something about Johnny Gawin.

He's always in a sour cream. Okay, he's always in. Give him a bag of ruffles and a tub of sour cream. He's a happy individual. You know what today is? National Tollup Paper Day. How do you know all these things? Wait a minute.

You just said it was Dog Day while I go. Sour cream is in Zark cream. It can be all of them. Tomorrow's National Dog Day because it's my birthday. Okay. See, he gave you- birthday. I'm glad you said that now.

I know National Dog Day because I know. it always coincides with my birthday. Oh, yeah. So you was born, you was born on Dog Day. Toilip paper day. Hey. I think I came first. He was born on toilet paper day.

Oh, they named your birthday, dog day. Okay, okay. Well, everybody's about to find out what day we actually film on. Oh, that's fine. Look, hey, well, that's because we're going to be gone next week. Yeah, and Godwin are out. We're gone. Where y'all are?

We're going to deer hunting. You know, I'm better believe. With Bo? With Bo. Yeah. I've already. Dick Stream, Boris. Or pick them up truck, whichever word.

That's it. Hey, I know a guy that chases them in the ditch, boys. I'm kidding. You ain't got a chasing in the ditch. They just standing the road up there. Oh, no. He's chasing them in the ditch. He makes a game out of it. And Wyoming, they stop traffic for miles. Oh, yeah.

They just, because they're like, oh, I've seen you. Okay. We're just going to take our time here. Hey, I've seen you last year. Oh, they like down here? No. When the tires change noise, they head out. No, they pretty much just sit there and look at it.

Okay, we got them trained down here, Boris. The redneck's house. Yeah. By fair now. They're hearing them. I figured out one thing. They go. When you leave here,

yeah. And you go north, everything gets a lot easier to get. Oh, yeah. The further north you go, the dumber they get. Yeah.

The further south you go, the crazier the people get. And so you got animals, that's microevolution. They're like, uh-uh. I know Jimmy Red. They're talking about you. And you.

Hey, me. There's outlaws down here. No. Hey. Look, I do everything. thing according to the law. Yeah. Your whole life?

No, I can't say that. You trained all the other. Hey, don't try to get me to lie. I don't get him on no technicality. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be back right now. We'll be right back, boys.

All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Trial's beef makes such a good product, baby.

Ain't it good? It's so good. It's our friend, Siall Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritails, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way.

Tritales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbyes on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need.

Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is your birthday. This is my birthday. Which is actually National Dog Day. Yeah. And Godwin missed it again. Also National Tulip Paper Day. Okay. So that's the 26th is your birthday.

Ain't that what I say? Sounds like something that happened on the 26th. Somebody was full of it. Never mind. Oh. I know. I'm getting you for your birthday now. You know, you got to follow them dogs around.

I ain't picking up my dogs crap. The exact opposite. He ain't picking up it up, Washington. No. Yeah, people ain't going to happen. That's why I feed my dogs Victor. Victor Pets. You give it about an hour out in the sun, you can go hit it with a nine iron.

I got a question. Go over to your neighbors' y'all. Let's chip it to the neighbor's yard. You want to keep them kennels nice and neat? Have we covered in full people that pick up their dogs poop and, like, put it in a trash can? Why would they do that? I got a lot of questions.

It's the law. It's not the law. That's my backyard. Hey, it's the law. You got to pick you up poop. Oh, no. Backyard is, you do it everywhere. Oh, that's your own.

That's private property. But I'm just talking about it. So it's my front yard. Hey, out in public, you got to pick it up. Well, who's taking their dog in the public? A lot of people. People need to learn. We live in a day and age where dogs are akin to children.

That's right. Hey, we got them going on airplanes and stuff. Yeah, but it ain't, it ain't, I ain't never seen nobody pick up no dog crap. Oh, they do it all the time. Hey, you ain't ever been nowhere. I know a guy who had a trash can in his backyard for dog crap. A trash can? He used to live in your house.

I bought the house. Well, was he a dog crap collector? I don't know. Well, he must have been. I just don't. I feel like part of life is stepping in dog crap and learning how to get it off your sheet. If Forrest Gun Patten done it, where would we be? Thank you.

Anyway, I needed to get that off my chair. It happens. There it is. You heard it? You ever had the smiley face t-shirt? There's a lot of things. The Forest Gunpowen been around, there's a lot of things. That's all I got to say about that.

I watched that in the hospital one night. It was fun. Well, there went four hours of your life. It had commercials. It was very long. But no, if your birthday's National Tollip paper Day, I know what I'm getting you. The National Toilip paper? We got to get back on.

You know? You know when there's a big storm coming or a panademic. What's the first thing to go? Tollet paper. Not water. Milk. Toilet paper. Toilet paper.

For all you heathens that aren't using a bidet yet. You know, good. Oh, boy. Hey. Can I come give yours a test run? You can. You don't want to do that. Mine's outstanding.

That's an exit ramp only, baby. No. Uh-oh. I could get that thing. clean. But I did look up what today actually is. What is today? And I actually like it a little more. First of all, it's the 25th of August. I was going to say, what day is everybody's birthday? Oh, we'll do that too. Look up God. Hey, mine's coming up. I know. Today's National Banana Split Day. I always get a national banana split day. Let's celebrate. I always get a birthday cake from Wyoming.

Well, look, hey, what is your birthday? Somebody called. September the 6th. Hey, somebody call Sonic right now and ours a banana split. Oh, that would be. Hey, I won't. Are they 50 cents? I want a cookie dough. No. Hey, somebody else's going to pick up the tab.

That's from Derek. Oh, my word. He's going to pick up, J.D. No, it's from Sonic. I'll buy us all. He said he'd buy it. I'll buy it. Their birthdays are coming up, and I just.

Same thing. I'm scared of him. He'll buy the old man. Tomato, we got three different conversations going on in here. Either one, boy. Hey, Jeffico's birthday, September the 6th. What is yours? You've got a lot of weird holidays on your birthday.

And then, Cy, April 21st? April 27th. 27th. 27th. There ain't nothing happening. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Hey, a beautiful baby was born on that day.

Yours truly. What happened to her? Oh, no, he's still beautiful. I kid you not. Hey, what did this say? April 27th, National Tell a Story Day. Hey, boom. What can I say?

Take a bow. Take a bow. Take a bow, sir. Thank you very much. The world's greatest storyteller was born on National Teller Story Day. That's unbelievable. I mean, why are there so, how can you have the same day be multiple national something day? I need a fan.

We got 365 things to celebrate. Pick one, move. Okay. We're all confused. Everybody confused. Days than confused. Everybody in the club. That's right.

Everybody's in this club. Hey. But I think. I found one more. Oh, what did you find? Oh, another bait? Okay. I need one of our fans to make a duck call room day and go through the process.

Why do we not have Cy Robertson Day on his birthday? Because it's Bay Ruth Day. We do. They said the greatest storyteller day. Ask somebody walking down the street today. If they heard of Babe Ruth or Cy Robertson, which one do you think is going to know more? It depends on which. They've heard of both.

We're in Alabama. Hey, they've heard them both. They've heard them both. How many home might to be here? Hey, look, Babe Ruth was a man that would walk out there with a bat on his shoulder. And a cigar in his corner. No, no. And, hey, and once he got up to the plate, he would take that bath off his shoulder and look at the picture.

And then points over his head. So I was there. Hey, over his head. And tell him, hey, he's back in the 1900s. You see the walls where everybody's sitting? I'm going to put it over them and go in the river behind it. I did see. Then he'd do it.

Then he did it. Did I say that deal circulate the other day that said whatever was, like, 1981 is as far away now as it was from like 1939? And I was like, it's far away. No, I didn't see. Like it was like in between 31 and 21 or wherever we're at now. Yeah, I didn't see that. Split the middle.

1989. There you go. Whatever. It's just as close to 1939 as it is to today. which means we're getting old. That's great. That's great. It's just math.

I don't get it. It's subtraction. Hey, well, that's why it doesn't make sense to me. I never did like math. Well, it's halfway in between. We're both 31 years apart, is what they're saying. Especially when they threw in letters with numbers. Or 41 years apart.

And then they started subtracting letters and numbers from each other. That's calculus. It's algebra. Oh, no, that's algebra. Yeah. I said calculus is really good. I knew he was thinking about. Algebra because ain't no way he made it for calculus.

Calculus is when you got to use a calculator. No, I know how to calculate. I know about calculus. Calculus, you don't want to use a calculator. What they should have done is taught calculus before they taught just regular math. Calculus was the easiest math ever. Well, no, no.

I never said. They did it backwards. It was easy. They did it backwards. Fair Martin. Yeah. Why do they do? How can you possibly say that's backwards?

Because it made sense when I read about calculus. when I read about it just when they were talking about regular math and algebra. It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense. It's that A plus B plus C. I get two plus two. But two plus B, no.

Can't come up with that. I come up with B2. That means B2. Well, no, that's what I come up with, B2. I think we need a break because I'm sorry. I'm telling you, I just give me a headache. Yeah, I'm going back to the two. We're gone.

Let's take a break. Let's go do a commercial. All right, I got a good one. 61 years old. Oh, somebody wants some money. Somebody wants some money. Yeah. I like this.

This man has gone every time the lottery goes since 1991. Where's it go? In Michigan. Oh, he's went to it and he finally won it. And every time he put the same numbers down, 3, 5, 10, 20, 28, 31. And for 30 years he did that. You just told everybody his pen. And it finally.

That's his fault. He told Foxman. And finally it rolled around and hit the number. And he finally won. And now he has $18.4 million. That's the word of that they know where to put the money. I would love. 18.

18 million. After taxes, where he's at in his lottery career. So a lottery ticket is only what? It's a minimum of $2. $2? That's minimum. Okay. And it's twice a week.

For 30, I don't dare me to have a good time. Break out a calculator. It used to only be once a week. I don't know when it changed it twice, but I'm just saying like. 30 years? It's probably about like size poker game.

30 years. Easy. A win once a month. Easy. He spent about five grand. How many millions of dollars? That's a pretty good percentage. 18 meal for five grand?

18 mil. I'll take that bet. What would you do with 18 million? That's if he bought the minimum. That's if he bought the minimum. I would put it. And I kind of bumped it up because I don't think he bought the minimum. I would put it with Merle.

I agree. No, no more Hager. Who? Merrill. Merrill Lynch. Merrill Lynch. I would put it with Merrill Lynch. Cid, quit telling everybody where your money's at, even though you don't know how to pronounce it.

So if you had $18 million, you'd just put it in the bank. I would put it in the bank. Would you bury any of it? No, no. Until I run up on a. a just a super fabulous duck hole lies. He'd withdraw

it a thousand dollars at a time going to a poker game three nights a week. I can tell you what he did. Because I've seen what happens when he makes $20 million. I mean, it's the same thing he's done his whole life. Well, no, no, but look. Hey, look. He's lying everybody now. No, I'm not lying. He made enough money to buy three duck holes. Instead, he financed the underworld of Westmore. Look here. Here's the thing. I don't have but one vice that I have to struggle with.

Okay. Road rage and... Well, two of two. Road rage and then poker. Okay. Oh, boy. And it's a good thing. Y'all don't play Domino's for money.

Well, hey, no. No, we'd have to be... Well, I would say this. Jace would clean up worse than he does right now. We can play Domino for money. So Sire gets invited to every poker game. They don't even call Jace anymore. That's where they're at on the...

Oh, no, if we broke out poker right now, I'd be very excited. Well, how do you got to understand something? He's the luckiest man that I've met to play poker. Jace or will? Don't get me wrong. He's good, okay? But he's, in his mind, he's the greatest, okay? And that's only in his mind, okay?

No, Jace wouldn't ever think he was yet. Yeah, yeah, okay. But, hey, I had to give it to him, okay, because he was the world champ one time at Spades. On Yahoo. World champ at Spades. kind of different than on an internet site playing computers. Well, I'm going to say, well,

no, no, because that's why I was saying he's the luckiest man I know. Also, how did he have enough time to be that high on spades and yon? Because he played it all the time. What else did he do? I thought that was like when he worked here. Yeah, but I mean, that was when we were selling. It's day up all night. And that's when we were

selling 60,000 duck calls a year. That doesn't take long for three men to build. And they had eight people building them. Yeah. And now we sell more than we have one guy. Yeah. Poor stone. Two. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's Johnny Jee. No, I don't do.

No, no, no. Hey, I'm trying to give you credit, friend. I know what you did. My bad. It ain't poor Stone. Okay. Stone's educated. So what he did, okay, when we was doing it old school,

the hard, long way. Stone's educated. Stone upgraded it, okay, and upgraded everything and modernized it, okay? So, you know. Stone did all the stuff, man, Gobbin, beg days to do for you. years. Yeah. And he's like, no, that won't work. Well, no, no, because hey, that works. Oh, no, that was having job security. Oh, I'm aware. Do it. I'm aware of what it was. Do it the hard way.

As I sat there with a pair of, as I sat there with a pair of orange scissors turned upside down, cutting every wedge on every teal call sold here for six years. I'm aware of what that was. He's aware of what's going on, boy. By the way, our teal call is like our second most popular selling call. So it was about 10,000 wedges I cut a year. By hand? By hand. We do that. Oh, no.

How do we do that now? There's one. We built a mold. Hey, look here. We cut one and we built them mold. Couldn't be done. Their thumb used to look like hamburger meat where they've been cutting it and they just. That's why I never worked in this room.

I'm just telling you. That whole floor right there would be covered with what looked like fingernails and it was just that white, one little cut off that wedge. And the knife. The knife had to be super sharp. My microphone smells like soft plastic. And a super sharp knife, if you're playing with plastic, it's fixing to cut you. Yeah, no doubt.

That's why I use scissors. That's that it. Okay. We had them old knives. We all had old-timer pocket knives that we taped open where they would not close. Because that was where you'd get in a bind. If you got put it too much pressure, that thing go close, oh, cut the end of your thumb off. So we duct taped them open.

Oh, yeah. Most of the tools to build our duck calls are just other tools. And even with that old timer taped open, I still took a plug out of my hand. So I said, I said, let me find a better mouse trap. So I figured out a pair of scissors, you had that whole length of the blade of the pair of scissors. You could start on the end and just work you way. And then you get through 10,000 of them before you ruin a pair of scissors. Yeah.

And then you couldn't do nothing. It wouldn't cut nothing. No. Throw them away. Go away. Get you another. But it had to be them orange-handled ones. I tried every one of them.

Oh, yeah. Them orange handled ones was the best. that sounds miserable. Oh, we used to have a great time in here. It was fantastic. No window. Oh, the best one was. It took us three years to get air conditioning.

Oh, no, no, no. We had a TV, though. The best one was, okay. We had a TV that Jace had the remote to. Hey, my job was to put a rivet on two, two reeds. And then one day I was being stupid and wasn't watching what I was doing. Wow. Wow.

You rivet at your finger? No, no, no. Look here. Yeah. I don't want to look. I don't think about it. Never said a word. I never said a word.

He never said a word. And then I was sitting there and I was going like this and I said, what happened? I said, I probably better go get an x-ray of this finger. I said, because I just put one of them rivets. It didn't even bust a fingernail. Oh, yeah, I did. No idea. It went through here.

It lifted my fingernail up. Oh! Okay. And I was afraid the rivet was under my fingernail and I said, well, I better go get it x-rayed just to make sure it ain't no rivet in there. now look it tore it loose except for about a well that's what i meant it was whole it didn't bust it it just pulled it up it just pulled it mightnere off well hey i said well we got a problem here and they and they didn't say nothing for a while i didn't say nothing when it first done and they said what happened i said oh i just put a rivet through my finger and jason said what you didn't

even say nothing i said hey it's too late to say anything well you might are to go all i could say if i was going to say Some was you stupid idiot. They were born tougher back in the day. I'll tell you this. Look, if you want to get hurt, go build reeds for about two weeks. Because if your finger gets caught in that press, it's gone. It's gone. Here was the bad part.

I got a choice here. I can go to the doctor and let a doctor take care of that to get it off. That seems obvious. Or. I could say, or Dr. Robertson can do it. Yeah. And my choice.

Hold on. Who is Dr. Robertson? Silas Merritt Robertson. Oh, I thought you're talking about Phil. Okay. MD, M.D. Silos Merritt Robertson.

Because I said, well, okay. So I, first thing I did was I rinsed in my pocket and I had an old case that I had done sharpening so many times that the end of it was just about like a razor blade. Okay. So I hit it on that woodstone about ten times, okay, and took a piece of paper like this right here and said, I said, oh yeah, it's sharp enough. So my wife, no, no, look here. My wife is looking at me when I'm doing this. I'm looking at you right now.

No, no. So I'm sitting there like this and I'm saying. No, no. I said, okay. That was one side. Johnny Deeb felt that. Yeah. And then I said, turn it over here.

He felt that. I turned it like this and I said, oh! That was the other side. Okay. And now I'm bleeding like a stuck pig. But, hey, that fingernail is laying on the floor. all of it. All of it.

Not the end of it. He took his whole finger now. But you won't side, dude. You don't want Phil, dude. This guy got a hook in his top of his hand. Oh, no. Just ripped it out, didn't he? Phil said, uh, no, this one.

Phil said, he said, here's all you got to do is pull up on that hook. You pull up, make a mountain. And then cut top a mountain off. Phil cut a plug out of that old boy's hand. About the sign. Then he handed him as riding real sad. Here, get back out. look about the side of a dime yeah okay he literally because the one was a devil horse

that he hooked in there okay he just said all you do is you make a mountain and it cut the top of the mouth out got the top of the mountain off first time Phil told me that story I about died I laugh had a boy just looking in his hand just pumping blood how much tougher are people born in the 1950s than people born in the 1980s I don't know but I'm glad somebody figured out now if you get a hook in you, you can wrap some braided line around it and pop that sucker out pretty easy. I had to do that a few times too. But look, it don't hurt.

If you do it right. If your buddy swings and misses, oh, it hurts. Yeah. But if you do it right, it pulls it right out. No pain, just a little blood moving on. See, that's what the kids from the 80s did. We figured out better mouse. Well, no, no.

Just cutting your hand. No. That was just like. Just think about that, though. Just think, because if you ever had a hook in your hand, you know, you can pull it however far you want to. You can't do. It's not really hurt no more.

Yeah. So Phil said you pull it up, make a mountain. And then you cut the top of the mountain off. And then just a plug of meat comes out of you, son. I'm talking about just a plug. Perfectly brown. Yeah. Just like a perfect circle.

Perfect. I'm going to go. Like a whole bunch. It's like somebody took a whole punch. Look, you got on a sense of everybody. Okay. This is back in the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the year.

Oh, wow. No, this is back in the years when his... Back into 1900s. Yeah, when this, here's what his motto. Who's a man? Who's a man? Who's a man? I don't think I'd pass Phil's test.

Ain't know what. I'm just being honest. Look, I always, when I was with him and he asked that to who's a man, I said, hey, I'm a boy. Send me home. I'm a mouse. Get me out of here. I'm a boy. I'm with style.

You a man or a mouse? Squeak, squeak. Yeah, get me out of here. Let's roll. Just like, I'm going to get us out of here. Let's take a break. We'll be right back. He's a man.

He would tell some of the stories he's done with people. The best one, look, they flipped a pickup, okay? Who's they? It was, what, uh, him, Al Boland and, uh, can't even think of the old boy. He's blonde-haired. Oh. Jimmy? Steve.

No, he lived up around and Junct to City, Arkansas. Ricky. Oh, Bobby. Yeah, I know who I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. I've heard all these stories. Okay, look. I ain't heard this one.

So Phil Al and the Blondie from Junction City are in a truck. Yeah, and they flip it. They're drunk. The three-town drunks are all right together. Yeah, yeah. They're drunk. Okay. Here, you drive.

That was back in the day when you had the eight-track cassette tapes in your pickup. Oh, yeah. Okay. And he had the stick a piece of paper on the bottom of them play. All right. Who's this? It was Joe somebody. Oh.

You know, they flip the truck and it's upside down, okay, in the ditch. Okay, and there's water coming in the windows. Okay, and all Phil does, he says, shh, and everybody thought he was fixing to give him some revelation. He just reached over and turned that radio, that cassette wide open to tell me, listen, that sucker will. That sucker got some pipes. He got some pipes, boys. That used to be, Phil,

Phil's definition of good music used to be, you hear that sucker squall, listen to him. He said, listen to him squall right here. Wait for it. Wait for it, and then he'd turn it wide open. Janice Joplin was one of his favorites. And she ain't known but a squalor. Yeah, sitting there looking, listen,

looking for blue wing till and August sitting in the truck with Phil in the dark where the windows down and 700 mosquitoes in the truck with you. And he'd say, oh, listen, this part coming up right here. Yeah, watch, listen. watching hold on wait for it I'm like Phil

it's the same song that come on yesterday I'm aware like this it's just oh man let the half of your air out of your tires

and run down the river Bill Robertson about as tough of a human as you ever going remember we all got food poisoning

and he just we was down for about two days just about all of except for Sy because he didn't eat none of he stayed away

from them Cajon's Gumbo and Phil just looked up. Oh, I did too. Phil just looked up. I didn't get on that. And said, yeah, I think I'm feeling better now. Brough. Wiped his mouth, blood coming out of his nose. He just vomited so hard and grabs his shotgun and kills ducks.

I'm like, oh, no. I mean, I'm just looking at him like, huh? How in the world? Did you just do that? No, no. Here's Phil Robertson. Okay, he brought a brand new Ford, four-wheel drive, and put like 17 or 18-inched.

tires on it, mud grip, big ones. Okay, and he cranked it up and said, it ain't sounding right. So he took one of the giant nails that was about, big as my finger and about a foot long or maybe 14 inches long. He said, him at two pounds sled to him or way. I handed it to him. He crawled underneath, okay, a brand new truck, okay, and got back on the muffling and got back on the muffling and said about pia, pia, pia, pia.

he's knocking holes in the muffler and then he'd get back to the truck crank it up whoa, whoa, go, blah, wow,

get back on it put a few more. He finally after about four or five times after he put about 18 holes in that brand-due muffler got in and that time whoa-wab-bab-bab-bab-bub talking about,

yeah, that's that right. Yeah, we got it right now. We got it right now. He made that muffler look like a tidalist. That's right. Hey, it looks good, boy.

He back in to your truck. I'll have to buff out. Don't worry about that. Don't be talking about nobody backing in it. The best one on that was Al had an old pickup truck. White, come down and parked it at where the boat house is. And there was some trees there that they hadn't. We cut them out finally.

But he kept backing up and hitting it. The same tree? Oh, yeah. We got that truck. He just got mad, and he had the door open. And, hey, he just packed it up and tore their door completely off of it. Howed it? Yeah, he tried to get between them three.

He lost the door? And them trees were just barely wider than the truck. He just stomped it. He just stomped it toward the door. And he said, hey, I'm better now. He said, I had to get out of there. He said, I got to get out there, boys. Two inches narrower than it used to be.

He darn got in there. Law. I haven't been a sack. I hadn't taken any. Them boys down there on that river back. Rick Portenberry was with him, so he's looking at me. He said, is y'all all right? No, he ain't.

He'll be out. He'll go. They are truly rednecks. Oh. By every definition of the way. No, this is the elite rednecks, okay? This is cream of the crop rednex. One of the first times I was with Phil, he had that old black tundra down there.

We just go into the ducco. We're getting a little spot, a little slick. A little wet. I mean, it's there in the middle of summer, but this spot holding water. Well, Phil gets a little sideways. Bam! Into a tree. He just, you know, most people would be like, get out and look at their truck.

Just kept on going. He said, we'll make it through there next time. And that's all they said. Just kept on trucking. He didn't care. That man don't care no more about any piece of property that he. Well, hey, he's not. Don't give a crap.

No, no. Just don't sit in my chair. Yeah. He was saying, that's where he's at. He was always saying, good, good. I can't believe this thing broke down again. Yeah. He said, I baby this little old thing.

Just, you know, I'm going to. And it's broke down on me again. 17 inches of mud up under it. Oh, no, no, no. We was going to Moss Lake. Two times of toes in the back. Oh, no. We was going to Moss Lake one morning.

He stuck it. Now, he's got a winch on the front truck. Nah. Well, he's by a high jump. He said, nope. He said, here's the deal. He did put his flat to the floor. He said, you're he's going to pull me out of them.

I said, you're going to blow up one or two. Well, you make your choice. What? I said, fail, fail. Wham! I said, you're going to win you? I said, he tried to blow that 67 Chevrolet up. Wouldn't do it.

Wouldn't do it. I said, hey, I wish I'd have bought it from it. Because if you can't tear it up, it can't be tore up. They made cars tougher back then, too. Oh, yeah, they did. Oh, absolutely. Cars and people. Oh, yeah.

All tougher. So I drove that old, that old little brown. Bronco for 40 years or however old old name one. You have a Bronco? Yeah. What kind of Bronco? The little one. The B2?

The little one. The Bronco two was cool. Bowling had one. Yeah. Al Bolin had one. What about that blonde guy? Size had duct tape in lots of various places on it. What color was in my?

Size was black. Look, the funniest one on that was, okay, Al Boland's got the little blanco white one. Phil had just went to Jerry Ryan in Farmville, bought a brand new, Chevrolet, four-wheel drive. The car's this man gone? Got street tires on it.

Okay. I ain't worried about it. Yeah. Look, we're... White walls, mine. Yeah. We're fishing the creek, okay? It comes a flash flood.

Rain, about six inches in about half hour. Well, we got the line down, I feel, call bowling's bowling. Here's what's happening. I'm going down to get my boat and my trot lines up. you come down and where the little ditch is, stay on the other side of the ditch for me because I'm going to need you to pull me across the ditch when we get done. So me and Ham Jones pickup truck brand new with street tires.

Go down in the bottom, okay. And look, there's water running already about two foot deep in the ditch. So we go across that, okay, and I'm looking to someone, if it gets stuck. Yeah. Yeah. So we go down there. We get the boat.

we get the chart lines all that and tie the boat up where it ain't on drift away. We come back around, when we come back around the bend, bowling is standing, knee-deep, and water. Except he's on top of his Bronco. He's done pulled off in the ditch. The flash flood has done overrun his vehicle, and he's standing on the top of it. And Phil just rose his money down.

You stupid idiot, I told you to stay on the other side of the ditch. So we ain't got one choice. got to go one side of him the other. He shows the wrong side. Yeah. But was there a right side? Hold up. Let's be honest.

He chose the wrong side because, hey, we're going and we started coming up out of the water and are going to fix to make it. And then you hear just a screaming metal against metal. We don't run up on a fence by our above by our fence. and that drive train has grabbed that bobwire fence and he's got a ball of bobwire this big around on his what is the street?

On the drive chair? Drive shaft. It's just run it up against the bottom of the frame. That's what all that metal screeching was. Bob wire against metal. Oh, I'd love to follow you boys around. Oh, no, no, look so. Hey.

Hey, no. I didn't want to be with you. I just want to roll it. No, no. We all waited out of there about chest deep. You know, walk about two miles to Phil's house in Jersey City. Wait till the water goes down. Go back down there. Phil's got some boat cutters. Okay. He crawls on the truck, cuts the wire off the drive train. Okay. Pops the hood. Take the spark plugs out and let it pumps all the water out of the stupid motor.

okay put them back in and fired it up and we're talking on the way back to his house he said uh if it was your truck what would you do sigh and I said well I said number one I said it was a bad deal to begin with I said because you pick no no because I said when you pick the truck up there's a if you drop the the uh what's the little cubby hole

glass compartment no the before you put in all your paperwork Oh, the glove compartment. Oh, glove compartment. Yeah, glove box, glove compartment, console, whatever you want to talk. Yeah, when you drop the little glove compartment, there's a metal thing that's riveted on there telling you what your rear-in and everything is. Well, Phil ordered a special rear-in for that four-wheel drive.

Well, guess what? That was chiseled off, okay, because it didn't have what he had, what he ordered. Oh, so they slicked him. Yeah, so they slicked him, okay. And I said, well, I said, you're, I said, this was not a good deal anyway. I said, because that metal thing that's supposed to be on the truck was chiseled off. You could tell it was chiseled off with a hammer or chisel. I said, I'd take it back to him.

And he said, because you're going to, they're going to have to tear that motor all the way down and clean it out and then put it back together. Or it's going to rush out like in a month after you drive it. So look, he just takes it back. And since, no, this ain't what I wanted. After he had been flooded. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, hey, the guy, Jerry, Ryan, sells it to someone. Well, about two months later, it blows up.

So he's got to give a guy a new truck. Yon he called Phil and said, hey, why did you tell me you sunk that truck? He said, well, he said, no. He said, well, why did you chisel the rear-in stuff off of there? He said, you tried to screw me. So, hey, what comes around goes around. Take it. So, hey, there you go.

Well, look, let's take it to a break. We'll be back right after this. All right, we're back. Look. And we're. Our favorite. Wait a minute. What?

I ain't ready. Oh. Oh, he ain't ready. You ready now? Yep. All right. Our favorite segment, arguably of every week, the fan segment. So look, for all of y'all that send us an email at hello at duckcallroom.com.

Thank you. And Johnny D. What's in that inbox? Before we get to the emails. We have the regular mail. Oh, what's more? Oh, snail mail, yeah. So I got a couple,

Stephen and Krista. They own a local, Army veteran-owned business. So we thank you for your service, a roofing company out of Fredericksburg, Texas. They thought they would send us some stuff. We thought you would enjoy this hat. This is just to you, Sa,

from Fredericksburg, Texas, an old German town in Texas Hill Country. A German town. Thank you for sharing Jesus with us on a weekly basis. Well, hey, my pleasure. I really like this hat. And it's got a black panther on it, a Vietnam vent. That came from a haberdashery.

Hey, that's a hat there. Well, no, no, because, hey, look at there, Robin Hood. This reminds me of the hat that I wore in Germany for like 12 and a half years while I was hunting. Well, that's from an old German town in Texas. No, no. Haberdashry. That is a Yeager's, a Yeager's hunting hat. learned something

and Yeager Yager is a hunter in German and then they sent the rest of us snack bags because they heard how much I like wait a minute

this snack bag is so much better than the one I got the hospital and it's kind of healthy what is that fruit snacks fruits and nuts

but there's also giant rice crispy treats which I'm not going to eat no matter how bad I want to and hand sanitizer so they're worried about our health

where's mine yours is in my office there's six of them Okay, boy. The bottom fell out of two of them. There's breadsticks. So we'll give that. We've got fruit snacks.

Yeah, so thank you. And then we got, what are these called? Slim gems. Slim jim. I am going to eat those. Slim jim. He is going to eat this. Yeah, that's just beef, right there,

and then the good folks at Budrose cutting boards or wood shop sent us all cutting boards. Yep. Yes, I think. So maybe. Okay. Either yours or somebody else is that.

That's the snail mail? That's the snail mail. And in really interesting news on the emails, I think we have a new trend. Oh, look at it. Thanks. That's a matter of duck. No. A feather.

That comes off of a wood duck. The man knows his feathers. That's pretty cool, boys. That's a cool hat. It is. No, so remember a couple weeks ago, or maybe just last week, Derek sent an email in. I don't know if you were on that episode, Godwin, where his wife made the cobbler, and he told It's pretty good, but that's not how mom made it.

Uh-oh. Bad news. No, you don't never say that's not how mom made it. You just say, don't do that no more. Don't do that no more. If you don't, you'll get it every week. Yeah. Or you can tell her how you need to make that little crushed here.

Which is what I told. If I said, Derek, you've got to work on your presentation. I got what presentation means everything. Yeah, don't bring mom into it. So we've... Just tell her you missed it on that one. Yeah, you need to work on. Yeah.

Yeah, you need to work on. But hold on. We've got more. We've got more. So now people, such as Andrew, are sending in their stories of when they told their spouse, that's no good. And I think we need to start a segment called,

That's No Good. Hey, that'll work. So I need more emails of when you had to tell somebody and hurt their feelings that their food was no good. Why would it hurt their feeling? I've got a great one of my wife. when we were very freshly married, but Andrew sent one in. He got his wife to make his mom's meatloaf, but he said that's not how my mama made it.

And because she didn't use the same ingredients. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't how mom made it. And that was 20 years ago. And you just say not the same. And his wife has not made. And I appreciate the effort. His wife has not made meatloaf sense. No, she ain't, neither.

And even though she thinks that his mom's meatloaf is better than her family's meatloaf, she still won't make it. That's the way he presented it to it. There you go, boy. There's just another tall tale from the road. And then my personal favorite, old Daniel, from Northeast Tennessee, he was, they've been, he and his wife hadn't been dating long. He was hanging out at her apartment, but he was about to go to work.

She asked what he wanted for supper. He said, she said, do you want to do breakfast foods? Breakfast foods for supper. You know what that is? Sure. Fantastic. Awesome.

Yeah. And so she said, sure. Eggs, bacon, sausage. And then she said, do you want biscuits and gravy? And he calls himself a well-fed country boy. And he said, of course I do. And he realized at this moment he was in love, I think. He said, this woman's about to make me biscuits and gravy for supper.

This is the greatest thing ever. And so he asked her, he said, oh, you make gravy. And she responded, yeah, it's easy. You just make it out of the pouch. and it was at that moment he knew the bromance was over he never even said anything the face he made said it all and it wasn't what she wanted uh oh he left work had made her madder than a wet hen and he got back to her apartment that evening still feeling bad and he gathered the while he was gone she had researched and gathered the correct ingredients for classic sausage gravy.

Not really sure because she's never done it before. She's a pouch girl. That's flour and milk. To this day, it was the best sausage gravy. He's ever had. My man, Daniel, has ever had. That's what I'm telling me. He never made it again?

No, she's announced one of our things. So this just goes to show you, being honest can go a long way. That's right. But you know the key phrase he didn't use. That ain't how mama made it. That's right. So my story, my wife, I love her so much. Open them fruit snacks for Saia.

He's giving me a pain. Which ones? He tried to open them from all sides. That's right. If your wife, that's good. If she cooks something and she puts dirt in it and you have to eat it. See, so I have a very...

If you don't say, hey, I don't like that. Let's do it different. Or that's not my favorite. But look, here's what you've got to. understand. Just leave mama out of it. Yeah, leave mama out of it. And they went to a big effort to do that.

So here's my story. My wife, we were married in December. Two months later, it's Valentine's Day. I wake up and the house smells like breakfast. I'm like, hey, look here. This is wonderful. And she made bignets. That's a pretty easy recipe.

We got married young. She's a fantastic cook now. Back then, hit her miss. She was learning. Thank you, Pioneer Woman for, for, teaching her. But she made these bignets and I was like, this is going to be awesome. They looked great.

I bit into it and there was a crunch that I can't describe because it didn't make any sense. Was it your teeth? No. It was between my teeth because she found it. Think of it as sand. Yeah. She found a recipe online that instead of the teaspoon of, you know, like you're baking something.

It's like a teaspoon of salt. It said a cup of salt. Whoa. You literally couldn't swallow it. I had to spit it out. Good. I literally was like, babe, I love you. These are inedible.

But we can't you can't swallow this food. You can't make it with a cup of salt. Yeah, it doesn't work that way. And I don't know if that's the day that she got inspired to become a fantastic baker and and cook.

You got to tell them. But you know what you didn't say? Well, my mama. That ain't how mama did it. Luckily for me, Mama, my dad's the cook. That's the name of the segment. That ain't how Mama did it. That ain't how Mama did it.

Hey, and everybody knows, Mama don't play. So if you have any fantastic stories such as all of our friends that have sent it in where you got, you had to tell your spouse because a lot of men cook, a lot of women cook, and you had to tell them that ain't no good. Please send it in. Worst one I ever had was I told my husband. My mama, that ain't how my mom does it. Ooh.

Uh-oh. Bad move. That was not a good one. Yeah, bad move. That was not a good one. Hey, I got to tell you. Was it her mom or? No.

Oh, yeah. The name of that hat is Alpine hat. He found the tag. Alpine hat. Do we have any more time for any more emails? From a habadashry. No, we better send it on home. All right, send it on home, but please send me stories of telling your spouse.

Okay. So since we've started this collection of. stories of telling your spouse something is obviously not good. There's a lot of different ways it could go. So I just wanted to make sure that we look to scripture to figure out. And wives, this is for y'all too, husbands. It's for all of y'all in this process of figuring out, what are we going to eat? So it comes from Colossians 3, and it says, bear with each other and forgive one another,

if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord gave you. Because forgiveness is going to be a big key when open and honest communication is around. Because that is, you're going to get mad, you're going to take offense when you hear that ain't how mama did it. But you got to remember, forgive. At the end of the day, forgive. That's a good verse. There you go.

All right, we're out. Forgive as you've been forgiven. We'll check back in with y'all when me and Godwin get back from Wyoming. All right. See y'all.