Duck Call Room - Si's Things You Do NOT Want to Try at Home

Episode Date: January 14, 2021

Si reveals the one thing he wasn't allowed to do on "Duck Dynasty," and that's not the only thing you might not want to try at home. Stone shares the only words you EVER say to a game warden and tells the best mud boat story. Si recalls being the "fifth wheel" on dates with Phil and Miss Kay and remembers the elephants that sank his boat. Martin offers up his dating advice and paints an unforgettable picture of what happens to Godwin when cold water hits him. Si can't get enough of Phil's nicknames for people, and that reminds him of the tale of Ol' No-Legs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, you go down, you drive down Size Road. It's like a roller coaster. I've been in one wreck in my life, and it was on Size Road. I looked in my rearview mirror. I saw something coming. I thought, I hope he stopped. Hiss the brakes before I take his hard right turn. Nope.

I looked at my rearview mirror again, and he was, and then I saw two women walking down the road. I said, oh, no distractions. So I'm trying to turn. about that time wham just got it got him so he run into the back of me i get out i'm looking and this guy comes out he's wearing a sherwin williams uh jumpsuit he's a painter painter then fumes done got it i said hmm so he walks up there he said man he said man i'm sorry i'm sorry i said i ain't got no license i said i know

ain't all you hey insurance license no i know no license no insurance i said i tell you what i said i'm take a picture of you of your i'd be of your i'd if i if i needs money out of you i'll holler at you you asked her the phone i call you that's yeah he said i i appreciate it so moving on but that that's you know the one wreck has been on field pot that's it the one wreck i've ever been in on philpot road yeah that field pot road's a guard yeah i mean that's all that's all them once you get past the gatekeeper of sye all the drugs well sire is the mayor of philpot God. No, I ain't no mayor.

He's a gatekeeper up there. If somebody sketchy moves in the neighborhood, they all meet up at Size's house and try to get him to buy them out. I miss driving by Size's old house and seeing that old Bronco parked out in the front yard wondering, will it crank? Oh, no. I wish they would have done, let me, A&A would have let me do what I wanted to do. Blow it up?

No. I was going to hire a dozer and I was going to run through the house. from the south to the north and then from east to west through your house yeah that old green one I was going to do it I tried to get them to fimm it I said look you don't have to pay me much for it I didn't pay much for it hey just give me what I paid for it and hey we'll put it on TV and I'll run through it with a dozer and I said it'll make y'all bunch of money he'd be hard hit you wouldn't listen he used to show up down there pick up sire or something he'd be sitting out there on that porch smoking him a heater

son just waiting on you He didn't want to wipe everybody. It's a good thing I didn't ever like weed. You'd have never got off that porch, would you? Yeah, I'd have not got off. Yeah. Well, just wait, you know, with everything going on now, it's fixing to be legal everywhere. Everything fixed to be legal.

Hey, look, there's a deal. We all know what's going on in this country, but if you want to know about all that, go somewhere else. We ain't you guys. We're here to laugh and have a good time. Didn't you try to try weed one time? No. I said, how old are you? He said, I'm 19.

How are you 18? I said, you people are crazy. Why would you want to smoke something that you're 18 years old and you feel like you're 118? He said, that's what's so great about it, man. It makes everything slow motion. I said, yeah, your brain is slow motion, dude. Now, give me another hit.

No. No, no, no. I used to walk around. Look, whiskey in Vietnam was $2 a fifth. You know, the right gut, the good, it don't make any difference. It all $2 a fifth. So this kid here, you know, and I weighed $130 soaking wet, you know, always had a fifth in my pocket, okay, that was either, you know,

probably low down close to get to the bottle of the end of the bottle. Yeah. So the whole year I was over there. You know, that's why I feel said, oh, now all these stories you've been telling about the people stealing your deuce and half tire while you're 10 miles an hour and stealing your radio and leaving your music. Okay. That is starting to make sense if you was drinking about a fifth of whiskey a day.

You know, you're talking about that story. They told you tire out of the deuce half week. I don't think the audience has heard that story. I think that would be good. Oh, yeah, that was last week. Yeah, I told it. Oh, you told it already. Yeah, last week we got the full Vietnam report.

Last week was like, good morning Vietnam. Yeah. But without Robin Williams and with size. And trust me, okay, it wasn't the whiskey talking. That actually happened. But do you tell the one where they swam the motor across the line? Well, we covered all of Vietnam in 45 minutes. It was fantastic.

It was unbelievable. Look, there are thieves, and then there are expert things. thieves. Okay. They come under the classification of expert. If I can steal your radio and leave you the music, that is a thief, Jack. Oh, man.

So what are we going to talk about today? Well, I mean, I'm still more interested in science experiment myself, but I don't think I heard enough of that story. We're going to have to have a dare officer on next week to tell everybody not to do drugs. Oh, Sy just told them not to do them. That's true. Look, he just said he needed to know. He paid for information.

Well, I know, you know, that's the old deal about, hey, I'm trying to save you a lot of heartache and trouble here. There you go. Don't, this is one of those things you don't do. Oh, you know, the human being ain't very bright. You don't say. They don't listen, you know. They want to experience it for themselves. Oh, and while we're on that, this new stuff that they've got out on the street, okay, and the meth and all that.

Yeah. What are you thinking that you would say, oh, I'm going to try it. This stuff will rot the teeth out of your head for crying out loud. That didn't make you stay up for 72 hours. It wants to do. There ain't even time for a nap in there. And then if you're 15, okay, you know, it'll make you look like you're 115. No teeth, okay.

You look like you've been, you know, you look like you're a raisin. You're starting to dry up and crinkle all over. So, hey, the deal on this is, hey, don't do drugs, okay? Ain't nothing worth that. This has been a public service announcement. Brought to you by the Duck Call Room podcast. This is by the FDA and all the... This is a FDA approved.

Do not do drugs. Nope, stick to the unsweet tea and the honey buns and life will be good. order. That's right. And the intangibles that I talked about last time. Okay. Peace, peace,

love, all that's good stuff for us. The fruits of the spirit. That's right. That's a good idea. Replace all your bad habits with the good stuff. Yeah. And I'll quit.

Hey, and if you're listening to this on YouTube, be sure you hit like and subscribe and hit the little bell at the bottom. That way you'll know when all the new episodes of the duck call room come out. We try to put them out every Thursday at 6 p.m. But with that being said, we're going to take our first break and we'll be back right after this. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedales beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things,

grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way.

Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. look salt pepper garlic hot fire that's all you need look because i tell you what when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living you can taste the difference the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic so if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season go check out try tails beef i know in size case christine loves it which is just a uh she doesn't eat me yeah just go to try beef dot com slash that's try beef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So you were asleep like literally 10 minutes ago and now you're just on fire.

It was a good nap. He got him a little rim. I think I offended him. No, you didn't offend me. Look, I'm probably the only man that's ever served 24 and a half years in the military and got a nap every day he served. And honorably discharged. And honorably discharged.

Even as an E7, no less. You were a supply sergeant, right? That's it. Okay, I could see how you could pull that off, being a supply sergeant. Oh, right. I was 62E, so I couldn't pull that off. We were working. What's the 62E?

Heavy equipment. Heavy equipment? Yeah. Well, hey, I was in a heavy equipment outfit. 293. engineer battalion. We put bridges across the Rhine River for crying out loud.

That's in Germany. That's it. That was something to watch. Speaking of Germany, do you have any good Germany stories? Oh, no, no, look. Hey, I hunted, and I was actually a German hunter. You had to go through the class that I was the

professor in. To teach you how to hunt the German one. Another example of Dr. Robertson in his teaching experience. I mean degrees do you have, sir? Oh, right, look. I got a dozen. Okay. Not what, these are not university accredited.

Accredited. They're technical. These are accredited by experience boys, which is way better. Oh, okay. Hey, did you hunt this morning? Yes, sir, I did. We kill six black jacks and six big mallards. Well, that's kind of a...

Which, hey, was a good hunt because they ain't many ducks down here. Did you kill any of them? I kill four of them. Aaddle boy. Two jacks and two mallards. I like it. I can tell you, honey, because you still got plenty of face paint up in your mustache. Well, hey.

It doesn't leak down. It's around his glasses, too. Well, look, hey, you've got to hide around this joint, boy, to kill anything. Okay, because, hey, if you ask anything... anybody that's hunted all over the world, guess where the wildest game is? Right here. In the state of Louisiana, boys.

More specifically. Yeah, any time that game. Inside a Phil's Gate. Yeah. Hey, anytime game, here's a pickup going the highway down the highway, and the whine of the wheel changes, they go on.

They gone, son. Because they know some redneck is grabbing that shotgun. He's got in the back of that rig. and fix to kill something. As long as you keep driving. As long as, hey, if that wheel sound changes, they gone. Now, unless you're a red head like old red, red has killed more deer with a pickup than I've shot with a high-powered rifle.

He put a gut hook on the front of his grill. He did. I remember when he comes down there showing that. He said, I'm going to gut them before I kill them. That's right. He hits them and guts them. the same time. Hits him and he turns that way that hook grabs them.

That's right. Throw them in the bag of the truck. True story. That is a true story. Hey, rednecks or redneck boys. But I'll tell you where that ends up. It ends up with Jimmy Red telling you that story about that game board and shoving that pistol up his nose.

That's when you start doing stuff like that, that's what happens. This is a whole episode for people to let their kids listen to them, stuff not to do. Yeah. We're here to tell you what not to do. These are things you do not want to try. Yeah. 100% So what are the statute of limitations on game violations?

I don't know and I don't want to find out. Okay. Here's the rule. Here's the rule of thumb. Is it game warning? Is that asking you a question? Hey, don't answer it. Okay.

And say, well, who was that boy? That was old, oh, Daniel Edwards. Daniel Edwards. We were in the blind field, says, oh, the wood ducks are getting up. He said, that's either a deer or old green jeans. Well, guess what? Oh, Green Jays slip up in the P-rope. That's right.

So Phil has everybody trained in the blind. He said, if the game warden comes and asks you anything, your only answer is, here's my license. Here's my gun. Here's my gun and three shells. And, hey, you see that wood duck right there and that jack? I kill him and him. Only. I killed two ducks.

So Phil says the only thing you tell them, here's my license, here's my gun, here's my three shells. That's all you say. So the game warden said, all right, which one of these ducks did you kill? No, Daniel Overs said, here's my license. Here's my gun. Here's my three shells. Here's my three shells. He said, yeah, but well, who killed this duck right here?

He said, here's my license. Here's my gun. Here's my three shells. He says, how long you've been hunting right here? He said, here's my license. Here's my gun. Here's my three shells. Here's my three shells. So everybody that's blinded has been trained. So that's all you say.

Geymore looked at him, said, something wrong with you? Yeah. Here's my life. Here's my life. Here's my gun. Here's my gun. Here's my thing. Hey, here's the thing.

Me and Phil had come to the gate the day before to do some check water level or something. And there's a dude sitting in an old beat-up pickup truck, except he's got on what I call John Denver round pink glasses, sunglasses. Phil says, that's the man. Yeah. And hey, the next morning, you know, we're looking, we're in the blind and looking, and wood ducks keep getting up coming our way, yeah. And then we hear somebody after daylight, we don't kill two ducks. Y'all one duck, mouter hand.

You know, and we heard say, hey, y'all kill anything? Phil said, well, since you've been sitting there since daylight, you know we kill one mountain on him. Yeah. He said, well, how do y'all get in that blind? Phil said, hey, there's a back door in there, you'll see the boat. Come on in. Phil's all the one who shook hands with him.

I wouldn't have shook hands with that, sucker. Oh, yeah. My favorite part, he asked Phil on the way out. He said, is there an easier way out of here? Phil said, you found your way in here. Find your way out. Nope. Bont.

No. Nope. Well, they asked him later, they said, Phil, how did you know that that was GW? He said, round spectacles. Red necks don't wear round spectacles. He said, hey, red, pink, round sunglasses. Yeah. They showed up in the driveway down there about 15, 20 years later,

wanting them to be a part of that book. Yeah, yeah, he said, hey, look, we're going to make you famous, you know. That's what you told me. He said, we're going to make you famous. And he said, when you were up in Moss Lake, how many ducks did y'all kill? And Phil said, oh, I killed a few. He said, but, you know, he said, I don't want to be famous. He said, so you'll take y'all's book, you know, hit the rope.

I don't want to be famous. He said, you ain't getting me to admit to nothing. I don't care what kind of paper I signed. Oh, that was good stuff. Game Wars. That was a title of it. Game Wars. They were trying to figure out how Phil slicked them for so many years.

That's pretty incredible. Oh, I can tell you, hey, barefooted. Barefooted and in good shape. Hey Tell them about the seven mile slews Oh no Hey look We're shooting Woody's on a roost

Which is illegal Okay Another thing not to do Statute of limitations We boom bough Boom bough y'all I mean we got a toast act full Just to be clear y'all

Y'all were teenagers We was teenagers Okay Yeah Still in high school And we're here on a bullhorn All right boys we got y'all tonight and hey they on both sides and it's getting dark they done built the fire this is one of them all nighters

you know men feel looked at each other and hey they had a dog look like a beagle he comes swimming out there and me and phil both had a shotgun on him you know he swam out there and then swam back you know and phil looked at me he said you know what we got to do right and i said what are you talking about and he said see they don't know this slew this slewis we're in is seven miles long that away and that's away from the house so we're fixing height to walk seven miles that way and then walk another seven miles back to the house so it's about 14 miles you know this is at 5.30 dark okay we get home at 2 a.m. in the morning yeah and the next day next day we were down the store getting something mummow and buy, you know, gave us some money to go down and get something, milk and bread or whatever.

And then they was there, told me, well, we thought we had you boys last night. And we said, what are you talking about? And he said, hey, your car's parked down there in Grimes'n's a pecan orchard. We know y'all was one down. I said, hey, look, we've been home all night, so I don't know what y'all talking about. Broke down. Broke down. I said, that's the car.

We was down there a couple of days ago. broke down we ain't that time get out and fix it my favorite part about all these game stories is Miss Kay was an accessory to every one of those no no Miss Kay was

the driver okay I can see her now and that blue chivalay I think it was shiverley but she had a blue chivalet when her and Phil was dating you know she'd drop us off

and then we had another arrangement, hey, stop 100 yards or 200 yards down the road. You know, come back when you come back. You know, she was the wheel lady. I'm amazed she could see over the dash. Oh, no, that's what I was laughing about because I pictured. I pictured her. She just barely could. All you could see was on top of her head over the dashboards.

But she could drive that little car she had. I love the fact that Kay dated Phil. and sigh. Oh, no, no. That's one of my favorite parts. This is one of the funniest stories. Their first date, y'all. Phil said, Mom, I'm going out on a date tonight.

She says, take a younger brother. He said, Mom, I'm going out on a date. She said, I know, take your younger brother. So we're at the juke joint, all at the malt shop, whatever it was, you know. And somebody come up and said, Who's that your dog out of the back? And Phil said, oh, that's your side.

Mama knew younger brother, Tell on older brother. Oh, well, hey, that's it. Hey, I was, I was to keep them from behaving themselves. Okay, he said, well, I grew up with him. He's been with it. You know, he's been with me. He's part of the family.

I said, yeah, I guess. Yeah, there you. Did you say I do at the wedding, too? Oh, no. It wasn't a thing, you know, such thing is best man, but, hey. Yeah. We all know it was. I was the fifth wheel.

But I ain't but two of them. Who was third and four? Yeah. I'm just telling you, I was always there. Oh, and on that note, we're going to take our next break. Kay has always been my third sister. That's what's so funny about that. Well, you did name one of her children.

Yeah. Yeah. Which one did you name? No, no. Look, and I didn't even remember it, you know. I spent a lot of time in Junxter City, and we kept Jason as a baby a lot, okay? That's why it's so hard it is, I guess.

That explains a lot. Well, why didn't he get your personality? Huh? You all rainbows and butterflies. No, no. That part I don't understand. I really don't, because, hey, none of my good-natured, okay, and let's have fun rubbed off on Jason.

What would you say he is? Oh, good grief. No. We ain't come up with it. Okay. He used to call him a fun sucker. Yeah. That's what he used to call him.

He said he'll just suck the fun right out of anything. That's why he duck hunts by himself in the afternoon. Yeah. Because he's his only friend. Well, I will say this. Me and Sire are getting in the rig as soon as we get done here. That's why we're heading south. We go down to Venice.

I got a break. My buddy Josh Gaut got a little fish catching and duck killing. Oh, yeah, he's got these spots. So what do duck hunters do when they go on vacation? They duck hunt. They go duck hunting somewhere else. Well, we got to go somewhere else so we can actually have a little fun. Take a break, boys.

Get a little R and R. Yeah, yeah. Because both of us get bombarded. Yeah, and laughing and having a good time is in. That's right. Okay. It's not all serious, okay? Let's have a little bit of fun doing this.

Their favorite thing is to gripe when somebody misses a duck, you know. And Jason's like, well, y'all should have killed them too. You know, they go away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, Jason, you got two men in their 70s and a person who's never duck cut in their life down on that left side of the blind. You got to get off its griping when people miss ducks. Well, not only is that. When you run with a bunch of paranoid, schizophrenic, whatever, you know,

they all need to have a personal psychiatrist, okay? Way too serious. Okay. Let's have some fun. Who's out laughing down there? Hey, who's talking loud? I wish y'all to see me that a night in that Yeti deal. We were doing that Yeti film, and we were filming Jays just going back and forth.

on the lane down there wide open. Well, they got dark on us. In what? Oh, in the boats? Yeah, in the boats. So we got done. I didn't have no light. I didn't know who he was going to be down there to dark.

Jay said, Jay said, you need a light? And I said, no, man, I still remember where I'm going. And then you hear. Well, buddy. Yeah, then you hear, wow. I smoked a tree in the dark. I'm talking about.

I looked up and I said, hold on. I had no idea. I done got confusing in there. where it got dark on me. Because when you get out of that little, you can see the shoot going through the button wheelers, no problem. When you hit them woods,

it went dark. And I couldn't see the P-row no more to mark the turn in the boat channel. And I just, boom! Jay said, I know you needed that light. Yep. And oak trees do not have any gilded them. No, they don't move.

Those mud motors, motorboats are dangerous. That thing's heavy. Heavy. I'm not used to the one that I have. Oh, I wasn't there. I wasn't there. the backwater were field.

Oh, T-bone. Yeah. No, Jace. Run over. J-Bowl field. 10 foot of water. And look, I'm talking about the boat went over the other boat. There were three Yamaha executives in the boat with field.

Yeah. That's why them Yamaha boys are steady trying to figure out how to make a safer mud motor. Oh, no. I'll tell you a good one yesterday, too. Me and Galvin, you know, Galvin side when we got done for got them wires out there. Yep. So we go out there, putter and back. to the blind.

I tell Godwin, I'm like, after my experience the day before with it, I said, go and pick that motor up. So he picked it up. And we're still coming in hot. I said, well, turn it off or something. And I turn around and look at him, Godwin's holding a key in his hand. That guy, motor wouldn't turn off. So we just, boat blind, boat blind, boom.

I just pitched it to you and said, you cut it out. You cut it out. You cut it out. what's going to happen now. Oh. You know what's going to happen now. Somebody's going to get blamed. Yeah.

100%. And it'd probably be yours truly and I never even running. No, I can hear Phil now. Them two fat boys don't get down there. Every time me and God would get together, that's all it always ends up. They're two fat boys.

No, no. I was actually getting worried about y'all. I said, I think I'm going to get in the full wheel. Because something's broke down. They've done something wrong. It actually wouldn't broke down. It wouldn't turn off.

Quite the opposite. I knew something was up. I said, because, hey, all they had to do was go out there and get a piece of wire that they rolled up and forgot. And I said, it's been an hour and a half. I said, they tore up something or sunk it or whatever. Well, we tried everything we could to get that motor to turn off,

except choke it because we didn't want to do that to the motor. We didn't want to flood it with fuel to kill them. So we were wiggling, beating, banging, trying to get it. I wish I had been there with my pistol. I wish I'd have been there with my pistol. I was just talking about you saw a piece of turn. Got to take the horse out. But the best, the best story about running them mud boats is we were hunting about,

well, seven, eight years ago, had an ice storm come through. There was ice on the water. Me and Jace take the decoy boat. Phil takes the other boat with all the men and all the grit and whatnot. So me and Jace get out there, we have to create a hole because it's iced over. So we're turning circles, we get it all cleaned out. Well, we're putting out the decoys. Here comes Phil with about five men.

Were you there? I laid out that morning. I actually might have been there. No, you weren't there. There was one morning with ice. No, you're not allowed. Here's the funnier thing. I know not allowed.

Yeah. So here's the thing. So I'm looking, I'm seeing y'all come in. So I was there. Lyle Sinky, Godwin, Burley was in there. Burley and Phil. So a lot of weight. So they're going around the circles.

And God would. Yeah. So they're going around in circles. And I told Jason, I said, what is he doing? He said, I don't know, getting old. He's going around in circles. Well, they keep going around in circles. And the boat keeps getting lower and lower and lower.

And I said, they're sinking. He said, do what? I said, they are sinking. So I turn around, look, Godwin is screaming. Flaming. They sound like a neuterat. And I heard some girl. La La La La La La La.

Yeah. And then I heard Lyle Siggi say, oh no, oh no. He's holding his camera equipment up. So I's got his shotgun up here like this, like he's waiting through a swamp in Vietnam. You know, and Phil's just standing there holding the motor. He's going to go to the motor. Hey. He never let go of the boat.

He's still running and what he's, here's what he said. Grab that boat. So, Gavin, you know, here's a boat full of water. Cowan just ducked down and grabbed the boat No, no, that ain't how it happened. I remember exactly what happened. Phil says, my motor, my motor, my motor, my motor. Get out the boat.

They were getting out of the boat, and he had some brush to brush the duck blind on the front of the boat. And everybody was trying to get out of there. He said, hey, hey, be easy. What's my brush? He said, don't be tearing my brush up, you know. That was a good one. So he gets back on that motor.

He said, my motor, my motor, save the motor, save the motor. where Burrell and Phil are holding one side of the boat up like this. Well, the other side of the boat is on the bottom. It's three foot of water. It's full of water. Okay, it's full of water. So the motor is halfway in, halfway out.

So Phil says, he looked at me. He said, reached down there, grabbed another end of that boat, pick it up. And I said, huh? I'm still standing in the boat with Jays. He said, get out of that boat and get down there and pick that. and pick it up to save this motor. I'm thinking, and Cy automatically says, hey, no, Phil says, we used to pull him out of 20 foot of water.

And Cy said, hey, them boats have a styrofoam in a little game. This is here is solid metal full of water. But what did Jace say? Here's my favorite part. This is the best. So I look at Jays. Phil's hollering. I mean, he's hollering at me and Jace.

Y'all get out here and pick his boat. And I look at Jace, I said, you're going to get out? He said, nope. he said there's a way that seems right to a man but in the end leads to death that was his exact words when I asked if he's going to get out of the boat and then he said somebody's got to survive to tell the story no no look hey within 12 minutes the boat is pulled around the bank bailed out we're all in it and going to the blind guess what that motor cruck right back up so we're here's how that happened.

So Godwin, me and Godwin are standing there. Phil's hollering to me. So he's hollering. I'm going to get out and at least, even though it's just ignorant to try to pick up a boat full of water. He's saying, get out there and pick it up. So me and Godwin, I went down with one arm. Gobind goes down with two arms and grabs that boat off the bottom.

Oh, he's full of water. And water just pours in both of our waivers. They're wet. It's 25 degrees. Oh, yeah. There's ice. Yeah. And we tried to pick it up.

I said, nope. I said, everybody grab that rope. We all went to the front of the boat. Well, Phil and Bernie are holding on to the side of it, trying to save the motor. So me and Liao and Gah and we start pulling that rope, Field down, what are you doing? What are you doing? We're trying to pull up.

There's a mound. I'm pulling the boat. That's doable. We're going to drag it to the mound. So we're pulling. And do. He said, hey, my motor, my motor, my motor. And then they finally have to let go because we're pulling it from them.

Well, they let go. with that mutter. Gone. Gone. Phil said, well, y'all did it. You boys, you did it. You did it.

So I said, keep pulling. Keep pulling. We pulled it up on the mound. Got a bucket, bailed it out. It's floating again. I go back there, crank it up. Wong. Fires right up.

Oh, that's fantastic. They get in the blind. Everybody gets in the blind, including Godwin. I drive it back to the boathouse, hide it, come back like I always do. And he's soaking wet now. I'm soaking wet.

I'm freezing their death. Galvin's sitting there doing this. Yeah. I was a shit So I'm out of here He got his crap He got So that's why I remember

The next day No one wanted to go So I finally got to go I was the next day Breaking up ice But I didn't know what I was doing And I was just watching Stone And Stone looked at me and goes

Are you gonna do something or not And I was like I don't know what to do Just tell me what to do I'm trying to help Please help me And then I just sat there the whole time That ain't my first road

the old being sunk with Phil Robertson, buddy, so now. Well, look, let's talk about another Phil sinking story right after this break. Oh, the best part that was just Gobwin wouldn't stand up. He was just floundering in it for a minute before he realized, I can stand up. Well, he gets paranoid when he gets around ice. Cold water. Look, I'll tell you, sir. No, no, he's scaring.

He's scaring of eyes. John, he's scared of eyes. Martin's got a good story. Let me tell you a story about Gobwin and cold water. So what was that? It was probably five years ago. Me and God were made a little packed. We're going to get a little better shape.

So we joined a wellness center up there. We worked out every day, every day. Mainly because my buddy Clark is a dead gum dictator and made me. He dragged me out of bed every morning. But it's probably the reason I'm still alive and my back doesn't hurt anymore. But anyway, so we made a pact and we up there working out, working out. You know, well, we would come to work right after that. So you'd just go in there and take a shower.

well one morning we were in there taking shower and the hot water heater quit and that thing blew cold water on us from out of nowhere and i kid you not in the stall next to me i just hear and he's just he's just he's just so being six four and knowing it is Govwin, I peaked over the top. And I said, are you okay, buddy? He said, I'm locked up. I'm like, cold water's got me locked up. He's just sitting there, you just and he just got

his fist clenched and that cold water is hitting him in the belly and he can't move. So I reached over the deal and turned the water off for him. I'm over there just. It literally locked him up. Couldn't move. I'm talking about

could not move. son. And he's just in there. That's all he kept doing. You know, Gobbin, when he gets like that, he just,

he looks almost like he's got an alcohol problem because he just turned just solid red. Everything on him was red, the fists were clenched. And he's just groaning. He cramped up, in other words. Yeah,

he couldn't move. It locked him up. And every since then, we went hunting another morning, and he got wet, and he said, I'm going to lock up and die. I'm going to lock up and die.

Something about that cold water. When it hits his belly, son, it's over. I guess that's why the boy likes hot tub so much. Well, no, no, no. I don't know. Yeah, but he's got a thing about ice because we was in Kansas. The one time I went up there to hunt with Barrett and him. Yeah, whenever we used to go up there and freeze our tails off for three or four days.

So look, Barrett went out there with a changthorleck, cut a big opening and getting it ready for duck hunting, you know, and we all got in the blind. And the guy wouldn't come walk up and you got to walk on ice to get to the blind. It's froze. How far was the wall? Oh, probably, maybe 10 yards, maybe. Oh, that's a little embellishment.

It's about 40. It's about 40 from the end of the levee where he would drop us off to the ditch. The part that was iced over. Yeah. Oh, the part is iced over. Yeah, but we drove. Yeah, well, we drove right up to the back of the blind. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. So it ain't that far, you know. But anyway, we all just walked over there, you know. Of course, you're on ice. It's slippery. So watch you walk how you walk. walk. We wouldn't do it.

Tell me, come on. He said, he had, he had fly his foot out on. And Phil said, hey, you didn't get in the blind. Let's get the daylight.

The old guy was trying, he couldn't do it. He has a phobia about that. Oh, he does. He walked all the way around that hole to come in from the other side, so he wouldn't have to walk across the aisle.

All and a half. Well, it gets further. every time the story is told a quarter a quarter and then I have another he has he got a phobia about ice oh the boy that's all these people have invited his ice fishing over the years and he's like nope here's one for you okay moths lake days don't me as I went ice fishing no no hey mall's lake days okay the buck brush they cut a not a straight deal like he done on his property they didn't want the the game ward to know how to get in there so hey they did it like zigzag okay so look that was back in his drinking days

well he just been drunk oh yeah he thought he was going straight no no no no so we got two boats we got a big boat and then we got a 12 foot boat okay so they get in a big boat fill an owl bowling a couple of guys and then he tells the other four okay and they're all about oh between 250 and 300 pounds apiece. I resemble that. Okay, so Phil says, oh, you other four get in the boat beside. And the 12-footer?

Yeah. Oh. So, hey, I'm watching these elephant step in the boats. And every time it does, it goes down, it goes down four inches. Well, their next elephant steps in, four inches. So I'm looking, and I've got this much freeboard. And I said, hey, two of y'all,

better get here on the pier and I'll be back and get you. And Phil hollers out, he's drunk as a skunk. Hey, get that boat. It's getting daylight. I said, Phil, I don't want to get wet. He said, oh, you won't get wet this? You take it easy, you know, and the boom, he's gone. You know, so, hey, they all parted in the boat.

So look, I've got a, I don't know what, I think of a 9.8, you know, motor. I am out near breaking it going out to buck brush zigzag deal. You know, and I'm... Well, I get on open water at the lake. Okay, the tree blind is out there in the middle of this thing. It's about this deep.

So I'm going and it's starting to pick up speed. Uh-oh. And I said, if I do it anymore, I'm going to break it because I heard it kind of just cracked. It's like it was cracking. I didn't, then I, hey,

I look, and there is a stampede of elephants coming my way. You done torpedoed that thing. Because, hey, because in my, no, no, because in my mind, I heard,

daub, daub, daub! And, hey, here they come. They're running back me, and I'm like this, just,

the boat's sinking. I ain't never even moot. I just, and how about that time you found a bottom it bottom you y'all and they're just floundering it off these elephants are all floundering all four of them y'all we're right in front of the blind and Phil's leaning over to gunport saying stand up stand up Y'all, look, it is like 18 degrees with 35 by our northwest wind. And y'all about to tear that tail off. Oh, no, look, you know, Phil says, hey, hurry up, get all your grit, get up the ladder. You know, and I said, well, what are you going to do with the boat?

He said, just push it back behind the blind. So, hey, they get their grit, they all go up the ladder and get up there. I push the stupid boat behind the blind and get up the ladder. and I'm immediately inside the blind, okay, looking for something, okay, that will burn. So for the next six hours, okay, everything is damp. It will not catch fire, but it's smoking. So I'm in over just hovering over smoke. I'll just keep piling wet shotgun boxes, anything, tearing bark off the tree, putting it on.

six hours worth of this, okay, but I finally got dry. You smoked yourself until you was on 35. You could have ate me. You could have ate me because, hey, I've been smoked for six hours, buddy. But I did get dry. Oh, my goodness. But the best part, but going back to that, that when Phil sunk the boat from turning the tight circles,

you know, the best part about that was he blamed. it on Godwin and Burley. He said, we all got in the blind, we got ready to hunt. He looked around. He said, yep, that's what happens when you boys can't lay off them honey buns. Too many honey buns. It's not the fact that he was turning tight circles with about two inches of freeboard. It ain't ever the captain's fault.

It's never the captain's fault. But what do you say, Sa, you've got tire tracks all up and down your back from that blame shifting. Oh, no. Hey, I've had that for 72 years. I ain't number one, I ain't never killed nothing and everything that goes wrong, I'm the one that's done it. Amen. And if it ain't you, it's me and Gavin.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard. Them two fat boys. Boy, yeah. Two fat boys. They tore that motor up. Yeah, it's too heavy boys. They tore that motor up. But he says it with love, you know.

Yeah. He says it with love. You don't ever question it. It is. I laugh every time he says it. He don't mean that bad. Oh, I was crawling in front of him yesterday. He said, Martin, you.

You ain't quite as big as you used to be. I said, no, Phil, I've lost about 40. He said, that's a good thing. I don't think you'd have made it through that door. Well, he's on that little blind on a North Lane. I was like, well, you can't, you can't be sensitive and thin skin. No, Robert's. No.

If you are, you're fixing to go home crying. Oh, yeah. Sobbing. I've been catching a lot of it here lately from old Jace. As people tell me, oh, I heard Jace on the podcast. He's just ripping you. You know, you know, tried to talk Phil and going where we didn't want to go, you know. You got some kind of coup going against him, you know.

The best thing I like about Phil is the nicknames he gives everybody. Oh, I've had a few of them. Horsehead, Buster Crabb. He knew my name for 25 years. And then somewhere about five years ago, he just started calling me random stuff, Tommy B, Jimmy C, every time it's something new. Oh, well, hey, look, Jay-Dad. That's better than be called, no legs. Snowbags.

Now it's a good story about this. Phil, Phil, look, cameraman, okay. Phil, we go in the woods waiting,

okay, to hunt some woodies. Okay, Phil's got the hip boots on. Okay. So he goes, you know, and the next day

we're going to go back somewhere else to another spot that was going to wait. I think, no, it was the same one. We told him up

and we went back to the same place. So the cameraman said, hey, my waiter's sprung elite. I need to invest the way. You know, I got a new pair of, hey, put them old ones on, you know, and you wear mine.

Yeah. So we're all waiting in a line going out to where we're going to kill these woodies. And we hear, oh, golly, boy, that water's cold. And Phil looked back and said, what are you talking about? And the guy said, hey, there's water pouring in these waiters. They must leak. And Phil said, they don't leak. I wore them yesterday, stupid.

You know? About that time when we come up, wait a lot. night it's daylight. Phil looked back and the guy said, God, this water's cold. And Phil said, oh, I see your problems there in no legs. He said, I didn't even think about it. He said, son, you ain't got no legs. He said,

hip boots are deeper enough to not get wet. He said, but hey, you ain't got no legs, so yeah, you're going to get wet. Oh, no legs. Oh, no legs. That's the story of no legs. All right, let's take our last break and we'll be right back. It's arguably our favorite time of the week.

now we get to read the emails that you guys sent to hello at duck callroom.com for our psychic cool people that take the time to respond to us we appreciate it and y'all y'all be sure to keep reaching out to our email address it is hello h e l o at duck callroom dot com johnny d who's coming in hot this week is are we going with sidekick cool people i think we have to right i think we're going that way jd yeah fine we'll go that way um we do get a lot of emails just to preface this for this episode we get it we like jace y'all like jace you don't have to say team jace in an email every time we make fun of them there's this other one called unashamed go listen to that if you want to listen to you oh whoa watch out oh just kidding but no we're team jay

team sye team sire team martin over here we're not team jace but just to get out ahead of that i got like five emails last week like hey y'all are picking on jace i'm like because there's a reason But here was my favorite one Because we talked about my vasectomy You know for in extent A couple weeks ago And this guy said That was the funniest episode yet

I had the snip as well And right in the middle of it The doctor says uh-oh Oh My boy Andrew Parks Got the worst two I always thought like a haircut or a tattoo Would be the worst time you could hear

Uh-oh No vasectomy Vesctomy I've changed my mind What did he know Nick. He was bleeding. He went home.

He said, good times. Keep up the humor. So he's got a good attitude. Oh, well, that's good. My man, Andrew, has a good attitude. But if you're going to tell me the vasectomy man said, uh-oh. And not tell me what happened. He was bleating.

I didn't, I mean, I don't want too much information. There was some more information. But when I saw the word, uh-oh. You stopped? I said, yeah, yeah. We don't want to go there. All right. And then.

Sorry about your luck, Andrew. Yeah. Hope you're doing okay. Yeah. Uh-oh. No. And then this guy wrote in and wants Martin to give dating advice because it's really unthinkable how someone looking like Martin got that girl. Love the show.

What are you trying to say? He out kicked his coverage? This is my favorite line. But really think this magic trick Martin did would be a public service to everyone. I don't know why I'm the one that continually gets picked on for that because there ain't a one of us here. that ain't out kicked our coverage. That goes for you, you, you, all of us.

Mr. Galdwin, I mean, golly, Willie for crying out loud, are you kidding? Hey, love is blind. And it's a good thing. That's the answer, boys. The answer is, too, I'm just going to tell you, you have to believe in the product that you sell.

And you're selling yourself when you're dating. And if you don't believe in yourself, they can see right through that. So project yourself with confidence and let them know, we're still going to duck up. Then you'll be all right. Everything else will work out. Phil says, our women pick ducks, that's a lie. I'm going to put that disclaimer in here right now.

My woman ain't ever picked no duck, and I ain't asked her to either. That right, and she ain't going to pick no. And neither of mine. I got one better than at that. Mine ain't going to cook, period. I know that to be true. Now now, now to get on that dessert bag now. She'll fire up in dessert.

To be fair, if I was married to Stone, I wouldn't cook either. because you were just telling us about Coshan de la Pee. Cajon DeLay. The man's cooking a whole pig right now. Well, look, this hammer's done cooked two whole beef tenderloin yesterday and fed them to us, and the day before he cooked a bunch of rib-eyes. So, yeah, I wouldn't cook either. Last time I talked to Willie, we were trying to have a meeting.

He only wanted to talk about something Stone cooked. And I was like, why don't you tell him? Stone is one of the few skinny cooks you can trust, but that's only because you see his old pictures. Yeah. He used to not be him like he is. You need to know Stone circa 2012, and then he'd be like, oh, yeah, I'd eat what he could.

No problem. Oh, I went through what they call a midlife crisis. Midlife crisis. No, what happened was I chased down that Mallard Drake back in, what was that, five years ago? 2016. And when I got to him, I went, Hey, milder drakes are deadly.

Yeah, Maladrakes are deadly. I was a wheezing like an asthma. I said, I got back home. I told the wife, I said, nope. I said, this ain't going to work. I got to do something. I got to get myself in the shape. So I went to buddy of mine,

I was a boxing gym down the road. I said, hey, I need to whip me in the shape. He laughed. He looked at me and laughed. He says, you can't do it. I said, we're going to do it. Or I'm going to die. Yeah, then he run up on Mr. Lee.

Yeah. So he put me on this old man. He said, you see that old man standing over there? I said, yeah. He said, go tell him. him, I said, to work you out and to train you just like one of these professional boxers over here. So I went to tell him, I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and said, what?

He said, what do you want? I said, I'll spark. He said for you to train me today. He laughed. He tried to kill him. He laughed. I'm serious. Mr. Lee tried to kill him.

Two hours later, I hobbled to the truck. I woke up the next morning. I tried to get out of bed. I just. Hit the ground. Hit the ground. I'm dragging. I'm dragging myself.

I'm dragging myself to the bathroom. And my wife gets up, she's like, what do you doing? I said, I can't walk. I can't walk. It took me three days to where I could walk. And then three more days for the soreness to go away. So I showed up there about seven days later. And Mr. Lee was standing at the door.

He said, I'll be daguer. I just lost $20. $20.00. He didn't think you're coming back. You'd never be back. At that point, I waited about 2.30. Well, that was five years ago, so now about 185. I've been a shape of my life.

I tricked my brain into thinking, this is fun. It ain't fun. I was about to say. But I tricked myself into thinking this was fun. But it works. It was self-induced torture as what it was. I ain't that smart. No.

I ain't that smart. We didn't argue that. There ain't tricking this boy. You can't tricking. You ain't tricking me. But my cooking skills never left me. That's it. I agree to that.

What else we got, Sean? That is important. A couple people, the only negative thing they have to say about the podcast is that sometimes we shout and scream and don't talk in the microphones. And by we, they mean sigh. And so I said, moving on. Moving on from that one. And then the last one we got from today, somebody that wants to know what, version of the Bible you read, sir?

Whenever you read. That'd be the Kings James version or the new NIV. NIV or King James. That's the two I read. Well, on that note, you got something for us today? No. I told you to get it, tell me. Don't be on a spot like that.

He did. I got it. When I first come in there, I said, Hey, give us a scripture because you did so well on your first adventure. Well, Johnny D. take us home. Take us home. All right. He told me to stay in the same line.

So second, you should be able to talk better if you're going to be on a podcast. There we go. Get it out of there. Second Corinthians 517. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come.

The old has gone. The new is here. Exclamation point. Hey. That's on the same thing that he gave us the first time, boys, about Revelation's 21, 4 and 5.

About the one that sits on the throne is going to make everything new. And hey, he can do it for you today. Happy 2021. Appreciate y'all tuning in. We'll see y'all next time on the duck call room. We're out.