Duck Call Room - That Time They Wouldn’t Let Si on the Plane

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Uncle Si is still a little fired up over the time he wasn't allowed to board a flight home. He also proves he and Phil will hunt ANYTHING. John-David learns that pigeon hunting is a thing and Godwin wants to know why refrigerator light bulbs never burn out. John-David dives headfirst into the Denver airport conspiracy theory and serves up some goodies from the "That's Not How Mama Made It" files. And Godwin lays down some wisdom on how to keep the fire burning in your marriage. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right. So, Sye, put your headphones on. That may be the deal. Sire, we're trying to make TV here. Is it TV? What are we doing? A podcast? Nope. Are we here?

Am I going to have to knock the fire of you this? Are you here? I'm trying to get you to put your headphones on. Oh, chicken plunk. Is anybody in here? We're here. Where are we? You tell us, Martin.

That's your job. Welcome back to the duck call room. We're here. You'll notice has on the same shirt that you had on last time we recorded because I get to look at him twice again. And this isn't, you might think we're on like, we just did them back to back. I want y'all to join God's army. Amen.

Let's talk about old age. Well, I don't know nothing about that. You don't? Oh, yeah, you're in the midlife crisis. I just, no, I just turned 14. 14, I just turned. I'm trapped. I'm trapped, unfortunately, in a 73-year-old buddy.

Huh. Okay, but, hey, we're working it out. But. We? But. Who's weak? But again, you butt your brain's up. So what happened this morning to make us question old age?

Oh, well, hey, look, they came, the till came real, real early this morning. It hadn't even got good daylight yet. And you shot all of them. No. Like normal. No. Unfortunately, no. That's a first.

Look, it was very early. It hadn't got daylight yet, and I can't hear them. So they come by, and I didn't see them. So then I feel stands up, and soon as he stands up, I stand up. I stand up with my gun in my hand. Wait, time out. You were sitting down? Yeah.

No. No, yeah, we all said. No, no, no, we're in the Hobbit Blown. You can't stand up in the Hobbit barn. I didn't know you sat down on a duck hunt. Hey, they come in, I don't see them. Although I'm standing up looking right in the decoys, there's no splash, and then it's, blah, blah, blah.

And you didn't shoot? Jason, Jason, Phil, and Stone killed all six of them. Why didn't you shoot? because I didn't see them and I ain't gonna just shoot in the air or in the water. But hold on now. Yeah.

I got a question. Yeah. So you mean to tell me that even when you don't shoot, ducks still die. Well, hey, that was one of the first times that they'd done that. Huh?

Okay. Huh? You gotta be kidding. I didn't think that was possible. Hey, I put the stare on them. Well, no, no, but hey, I was shocked. He was like. No, to tell the truth, I told you,

I couldn't even steal them. So I didn't know that, you know, I only seen two in the air, and I think Phil killed both of them. Okay. So you got no clue. No, no. I believe Stone and Jason around spotted the ones they killed. Well, that's fine.

I know I've seen two that was in the air and Phil killed both of them. That ain't against the rules? So that's two for Phil. Then there's two more each for Jason and Stone. So you got weeded out. Oh, I didn't kill Dillardy Squads. Did you fire your weapon? No.

No. I did not. But in the morning, oh, I'm going to be on high alert with him in the morning. High alert. Because, hey, here's the thing I've already told them. Jace don't believe me. I'm leaving Friday. I won't be there Friday hunting.

So, hey, they're going to bundle their guns about us on Friday. It'll be Friday or Saturday, probably. Yeah, that's probably right. Well, they're going to hit us in mass here the next two days. I figured they'd come with that. Well, they had a good win today. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we got a tropical storm.

Well, no, no, I know. I know. Oh, hey, and bring it up, hey. Hey, maybe some of the powers to be or some of the intelligent people listening. Okay. Why? Both of them. Well, no, no, both of them.

But why does hurricanes counterclockwise? What's the reasoning behind that? Because typhoons go. And look, and here's what, here's the odd one. I'm looking at the news last night, and it's showing the, The hurricane right on the coast and doing it this way. Counterclockwise. That's not.

Okay. This way. You need a new counter, right? But it's traveling. You need a new clock. Nope. Counter? Counterclockwise.

Clockwise. Oh, yeah. The rotation of the storm, not the path that it takes. Yeah. Because it always, and here's the odd part. It's rotating. He's talking about the rotation of the storm. It's rotating left.

Okay, but it's hooking right. Well, it watches NASCAR all the time. You got a turn right to go left. You just sliced it to your right. It's an obvious answer. Well, hey, give me the obvious answer to you in, dummy. It's because we're in the northern hemisphere. What is the northern hemisphere got to do with the way to the earth?

Hey, it's called from the south. Everybody knows it's the Corolliois. The horse pulls hurricanes. You can't even. The Coriolis effect. Yeah. Sure. That's what I just trying to read it in case the listeners.

I was strong, and I didn't even hit you good, so it slipped. It was off the glass. Yeah, that's all that working out. That's right, buddy. He's got some power. So you're trying to give Cy the answer, and he just dope options. Well, he's lies to me. I tried to act like I knew it.

All he was doing was just blowing smoke. It actually is. No, he's reading the answer from there. He's fact checking you. It is, this website is called the Library of Congress. What is that saying? It's because we're, it pulls it away. from the equator?

I don't. It's the Coriolis of force. I don't even believe that. That's F yes. What do you believe? If the Almighty told me which way White has done that, I'd believe it. Well, I ask you. I ask any showers.

That will be the first thing I'm going to say, hey, by the way, all these giant storms you cook up out in the ocean. That's what you're going with. That's one of the first things. Yeah. That's like your... I want to know why it kind of flop. Okay.

What if, and just hear me out, what if the Almighty sent Mr. Coriolis to come up with that force, that way he could tell you. Who's this? Who you're talking about? Coriolis. I'm assuming he named it after himself. I want to know why all the light bulbs in the world ain't like the ones in refrigerators. Because that sucker never burns out.

Oh, wrong answer. It does burn out. I've had them burn out. You've had them burn out? Yep. It takes a long time. I got to be honest with you. I've never had one.

Well, it's, uh... Oh, yeah, they burn off. Yeah, but it was been a long time. But they normally had to get wet. That sucker under my car port, I got to change that thing all the time. And that's a good one for you. They had to get wet.

All the time. What? How does the... Because of all the getting hot, getting... Your refrigerator gets hot? Condensation. Letting warm air.

Where do you think, hey, where did you think ice comes from? Something gets hot and it freezes up. That's what I'm telling me. Hey, there's one of them oxymorons for you. What do we do? I thought fire melts ice. No, fire brings ice. Trust me.

I can listen to you two all day. No, no. Hey, I'm just serious. Just keep going to go. You've learned your lesson. You just sit back and listen. I try and make sense of all of it. Hey, pull your refrigerator out and look at the back of it where the, I can't even think of the name of it right now.

Apples? No. Where all the pipes are, the little pipes that. Coils? Make your cold, yeah, the coal that makes your refrigerator cold. Condenser. Okay, it gets hot, yeah, condenser. It gets hot and guess what?

It freezes up on the outside when it gets hot. Ice, chip, chip, chip, you know. I'm very well aware of that effect because I got one of them stupid refrigerators with an ice maker and a refrigerator. Oh, I got a new fridge. It ain't worked in three years. That ain't a four years old. But there's ice all on the back of the condenser.

It froze up. Yeah. That's it. It's a solid block on us. It got a hot. It froze up, boy. What happened to it? Froze up.

Got too hot. Mine, it did that and I took a blow dryer. Yeah, blow dryer. Oh, don't put a blow dryer on that hot air. Then I just said, you know what? Ice ain't that expensive. Oh, that coffee. That coffee was terrible cold.

Dude. What? The cold coffee. I was going to drink the rest of it right here. It was cold. I get that. Did y'all know there's a fridge? Well, it was hot.

So it turned eyes. That's why it's cold. There's a refrigerator shortage. It's hard to buy one. Is it? It's a harder to buy a chest food. Try to buy a dryer. Is that hard to buy?

Are all your clothes wet? All the time. Well, hey, it's been in the 90s. Hey, put it outside. It had to dry out, so. It is hot outside. No. No.

No. I order a refrigerator and it's taken two months. I ordered a toilet paper holder And they said they'd have that in three months Three months Getting whittling one out Everything Take your stick in there

Everything's going south boys Everything's tearing up Because if you buy a new truck And it breaks down Hey It's on the side of the highway For a while boys What's the matter there?

You're all right I used to think I had some semblance Of where we may get to But today has completely ruined that So Hey I'm having fun That's what we're going to get to. We're going to get to break.

Take a break. We're going to try to come back with something that is on track. We'll try to get this thing back on course. That's right. We're going to get on the train track. Instead of rotating counterclockwise is out of control. What about it? How's that?

All right. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here.

And that's what because of our friends over at Tritale's beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day.

And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth-generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door.

We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, She doesn't eat me.

She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. God, when I do have a question for you. What's that? Can you do me a solid? What's that?

There is a large dead rodent about 20 feet outside that door. You remind moving him? A large dead rodent. He's a big. That's a big old rat. It's like a squirrel. Like a mouse for him. Inside the building?

Uh-huh. Inside the boat. One of the big wolf. One of the big wolf rats. Well, I know his technical term is a cotton rat. Cotton. We probably shouldn't go down this road because we have customers that show up here. What?

Rats get inside. That part of the next. But that's a big. We haven't. The Duck Commander building was built on a swap. You could have shot that thing. with rat shot not with rat shots you need a solid bullet oh you need a solid boot for him oh oh he was one he'll have been off rat shot you at least need a pellet gun he's a he's a good one he's a

he's a good one you could in times of need you could eat him really mm-hmm whoa yeah that would have to be I would have to be I would have to be I would have to be starving to death and then I don't know if I could have it yeah there it is yeah what yeah right now Hodwin? I said, we used to go shoot rats at the dump after church on Sundays. I used to do it to Barnes. Huh? All we did on Sundays after church was a fried chicken.

That's right. I'm with him. I'm with Martin. That's what I always did. And old Tommy Robinson would always wrap one of my grandma would say, okay, let's eat. He's, I ain't eating. Why, he's too ready to go shoot rats?

He's ready to go shoot rats. No, he would just. He would just say I won't, I'm not eating. Don't let it. That's good. And most of the time I wouldn't be quiet. I got to know about the rat hunt. Yeah.

Hey, why have everyone? Oh, that was awesome. I don't know about it. How old were you? What year was this? What caliber? What was your weapon? Like, this was a dog.

He did them on 22. Yeah. 22? 22. Back when you could find ammunition. Yeah. Yeah. See, everything's running short.

You'd make us a little blind get a long chair and just sit there. But you go out there and get this one. you find the stinkiest bag you can find out there and you fluff it up. Then you set up, you set it up and get ready. Oh, yeah. And you just. You had to be quick because daddy was pretty fast. Uh-oh.

This was a family affair. It's a family affair, boy. That's how I learned how to shoot. Did y'all change clothes after church or did you just go in your Sunday dress? No, we changed clothes. Okay. Hey, we used to do that in the house. We'd put the camo.

It wasn't rats. Oh, well, we'd put their old traps out with them. Oh, no. No, we're a trap. No, shout at him. He had a pellet gun. I had a Daisy BB gun. Yeah.

We would leave the light on in the dining room and get in the hallway and lay down with, with pillows for sandbags. Okay. And it was always food on the floor. What? And here comes the mouse, the mice. Yeah. And, hey, we'd let him get right in the middle of the room. and then the barrage started.

You turn on the light. Down, yep. Turn on the light. No, the light was on. No, the light was on. They were coming out, but we'd let them get right in the middle of the room, and then it was like these shooting galleries. Y'all, but they got the ducks and everything on the chain.

We kept them on the chain, too. But they'd go left, be on in front of them, and they tried to go right, boom, bow. Hey, hey, we did get quite, we busted. Like that old west, guys. No, no, we busted quite a few window panes to a net little start. Uh-oh. Got your tail going up over that.

Did you get in trouble? That was always one of these beatings was due after that little episode with Busting Wonders. You were shooting pellet guns in the house? Oh, yeah. You just described like a really fun raccoon hunt, but you were just... Oh, no, this was mice hunting. In your home. This was big game hunting when we was little.

But you'd have to go move them. You'd have to go move them, they wouldn't come back. Uh-uh. You put them out as decoys. No, they wouldn't come out. They wouldn't come out. If you had a wounded one,

let him squeak. Oh, man. I don't know. He's called the rest of me. He's calling those medics to come in. We shot the medics too. I don't think people care about animal cruelty towards mice, though.

Oh, What did you do you do on, plate checkers? Man, I don't know. I didn't do none of that. At night, I generally went to sleep. I had a pellet gun and a BB gun inside the house. I do, too, but I don't even want to talk about what I do. We was night stalkers.

Life was great in the 50s. Don't shoot pigeons under the bridge. I'm in on that. We done that in a gym. We actually called them, called them, and then had them in our pigeon coop. Yeah. Oh, eagle. Yep, until the cat's got a hold.

Where did y'all keep the pigeons for? In the chicken coop. For what? We like them. They like to send letters. Did you eat pigeons? No. A lot of letter writing back in the day.

But squab is good. Huh? Okay, that's what it's called. Squab. I have no. In France, that's a delicacy. Squab. I've been to France and there was dirty pigeons everywhere.

Well, hey, they were dirty people there too. Wasn't enough. Squab eaters over. The dirty ones, they let go. Yeah. Not enough squab. I don't think I could eat a pigeon. Oh, I've ate many of them.

It's just a big dove. Yeah, his name is a rock dove. He's a dove. He's a dove is what he is. You've got to have a little more TLC because he'll dry out quicker because he's a bigger animal. No, he's fine to eat. Scrobin is good. It's a delicacy in France.

So in the apocalypse like New York City, you'll be okay because they'll just eat the pigeons. Well, whatever blows up air will probably wipe out all the pigeons, too. I'd head west. Yeah. There's a bunch of them out in like Nebraska, Wyoming. Wyoming, Idaho. Like there's pigeons in Idaho? They hunt them.

They got decoys. They hunt them out there like duck. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm learning so much today. Mojo. Our friends at Mojo make a pigeon spinning one. Yeah.

So basically the pigeons from the big city are like people from the big city and the pigeons from Kansas are the good pigeons. They're the good pigeons. What you would call. What you would call rural towns that are not too big. They have an annual pitching hunt. No. I'm telling you they do. Hello.

I thought it was on silent forever. Yeah. I super glued mine to vibrate. Did you really? No, but I mean, it might as well be. I thought there's no reason. We are in 2021. There is no reason for your cell phone to make a noise.

This is a PSA. Well, I'm fix it. Because, hey, no one talks on a cell phone. And it certainly shouldn't be a terrible song. Yeah, I don't even know why they call it a cell phone. Pigeons can be. No one talks on it. I talk on it all the time.

I talk to God one this morning. No. They ought to call it a typewriter. He's there. What's the code to that? What's the code to the door? They call it a typewriter. Because all you do is text.

That's right. What in the world? I'm reading about rock dove pigeon hunting. Yeah. Yeah, you thought I thought it was some kind of snake. You go out to Idaho where they got like them rock cliffs and stuff over lakes. Then pigeons would go out there and feed in like the bean fields and everything like like ducks and everything else do. Except you can hunt them in like June, so when nothing else is going on.

Hey, go kill you some pigeons. You can book a pigeon hunt and go wacky a bunch of them. In the United States, the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918 protects native wild birds making it illegal to kill them or remove their nest. That being said, the pigeon is an exception to the law as it is an introduced species to America and is considered non-native. Yeah, he's not invasive though. And they're a pest. But see, like collard doves. whack them any time of the year you want to.

They're invasive. They take away nesting deal and all that. So starlings, you can hit them over the head anytime you want to. That's why. They wasn't born here. No, they ain't from it. It's called the Eurasian Colorado.

Eurasian. Yep. I never heard of you. We just learned a lot about burns. You never know where we're going to go. And look. I don't know, but I like this path a lot better than the first. Well, no.

I like the first one. In Germany, I've seen like a thousand. when I'm deer hunting. Collard dove. Yeah. So I asked the guy, can I go hunting? Yeah. So I figured I'll figure to tear them up because they just, you know, it's a thousand there.

But you're talking smart. Hey, I walked out there and sit down in the field that they was feeding that. They were over there sitting in the trees, and hey, long as I sit there, they sit in them trees. They smelt you. We come in the field. That's when you walked down the tree line and get the blast. Well, no, no, that wasn't his property. Right pitiful.

Well, it sounds like any man that'll shoot a rat at night. I ain't worried about a property line. Well, it's just me. In his home. In a foreign country. You got to watch it in a foreign country. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. You got to watch.

You weren't from around there. I wasn't from around there. Yeah, that's good point. All right. Well, let's take our next break. We'll take a break, boys. Let's take a break. We just got started.

We just got started. We can talk about the weird news coming out of gambling. Uh-oh. What's that? I never heard of that. Oh, I hadn't heard the weird news out of it. Grimman. Johnny D.

You want to... Yes, I do. Yes, he does. Go for it, JD. Listen to this one, Sire. You're going to like yes. This is... I sent it to you, didn't I?

Yeah. All right. You want me to read it? No, yeah. Hey, go ahead. I'm pulling up the article right now. Because a man was accused of something. Uh-oh.

And they got him on camera. Oh, wait. Our TV's off. They got him on camera. I didn't turn it on. You want to know what he was accused of, God. I do.

What was he accused? I don't want to pull it up here because I was going to say. Man accused of stealing a duck from the park sought by the Grambling Police Department. Why is this thing? For stealing a duck? Uh-huh. From the park.

Hey, what kind of duck was it? He's one of them white afflack looking ducks. Oh. Amflak. I like to run over two of them coming from hunting this morning. Say, look at him. Look at him. Oh, yeah.

Well, that was George. He didn't come home last night. I say, is that any of your kinfolk? I don't recognize. They got a lifted truck with a light bar. I don't recognize. He may live on Philpott Road. Hey, the truck looks familiar, though.

That's what I'm talking about. The truck looks familiar. The truck does look for me. But the grambling police department is looking for a man they believe stole a duck from the city park. The Lincoln Parish Sheriff's Office has a post on their Facebook page. So it's a crime. Asking, well, I mean, they stole a duck? It's not his duck, man.

You can't go around stealing ducks no more, you can't steal ducks for us. Everything. He always told me you don't know what you get by. Well, I was glad this morning that the three ducks that was on the side of the road were not buzzers because if it had been buzzered, they'd probably ended up. You didn't steal a bit. To my window.

What? Because I was on them coming around the curve and there they are. And, you know. Is there a chance you were driving too fast? No, I was going about 55. But I was trying to get home. In a 25. You know, because I had to start my workout at a certain time.

I thought you were going to say there was a movement taking place. Oh, no, no. No, yeah, the only movement was my workout. No matter, no, no, no, there you go. There you are. There you go. Say, you ever think you see a day where a news article has to do with a man stealing a duck? No, I did.

I didn't. Well, that means we've literally. We've gone to the ducks. Not to the dogs, J.D. We've gone to the ducks. So if you go to the park and stay, you're automatically property of the park, I guess. Well, what if the park bought it? I got a neighbor who has ducks as pets.

Well, Willie, you used to have a bunch of ducks out there at his house, but then the hawks ate them off. But how do you really know about a duck? He ain't got a collar on now. Oh, these ducks, my neighbor has, you know. They got names. I don't know if they have. They introduced himself? Just because they got names.

That don't mean. She knows them. Excuse me. You can't steal me. I can't feed them. Because you might feed them what's wrong. Might feed them bread. So what was he going to do with this duck, reckon?

No, he may train him to walk behind him. I don't know. He may be wanting to make his own Peabody Hotel. Maybe so. I tried training our Mallard here. I've been there. Me too. Could indeed.

Did you see the big deal they make all of it? Was the duck coming and walk in the red carpet? I told them, I said, hey, if you give me a shotgun, I can help you out here. Now, I always thought they should make you, the duck master there anyway. It's your second job. And I like it. The guy, he was like the

guy that comes out in all the three rings of the three ring circuits and he's announcing what's going on. The ring. The ringle. The ringleader brother boys. That's what it was. He was the ringleader and he had a bunch of muller ducks.

He'd come walking down like a band leader and all the ducks were behind him. Yeah. That's pretty cool. It was pretty cool. That they actually follow this guy. Yeah, they live. on the roof and they go get it. He's the

pipe pipe. Did they come out and go to the rendezvous and get something neat? I don't think they much on them ribs. No. I'm patrolling Facebook. He's patrolling Facebook. Where are you patrolling it for? For the duck. Now, patrol him.

I'm trying to see if we've caught him. Anybody found him? No, they ain't got him yet. Oh, there's Duffy. They're on that Affleck bag. Yeah, everybody's just making fun of it for being the AFL. Old Nick's got on that. Oh, Sabin. Him and Afflack duck.

The Affleck man got a pretty good hunting ranch. In case anybody wanted to know, south of Atlanta, Georgia. He got them. Foul play is expected. Start foul play. Man. Is it F-O-W? FAL play is expected.

Yeah, no, they did water foul play. I love local news. I'll be honest, though. You know, groceries are expensive, so that's probably why he took the duck. Although just go kill it yourself, man. It's duck season. I got to be honest, though.

The local news got scary whenever I went to Lincoln Parish Facebook page. Good, gracious. But it's duck season, so if you wanted a duck, just go wacky one. I mean, teal are here. Teal probably don't taste as good. Is that big old white thing? I don't know. He looks a little aged.

I don't think I'd be real keen on eating him, neither. Maybe, but I doubt it. Well, I don't. think they've caught him. So if you're in Lincoln Parish and you see a man in a... The duck napper is still on the loose. They're on the loose. Please contact the Rustin Police Department.

That's right. Hey, if he's got a duck on his arm, don't match with him. He's armed and dangerous. I don't know that that part's true. Hey, he's got a duck on his arm. Man, they're after all sorts of people here in Louisiana, though. People stealing stuff. Oh, yeah.

A bunch of thieves. That's across the world. That ain't just here. Well, they're stealing ducks. This man stole from. a tackle shop that's not cool well he needs to go back fishing bait no how's he going to eat get some worms or pay for it what else you got in the news you got anything else back that up uh-oh this is the guy that oh he stole sunglasses no no back it up what's the dog what he steal

the dog yeah dog steals oh well i don't know uh i'm reading i'm reading he's a pretty jermmer shepard though Oh, somebody, no, somebody. And a big one. Somebody decided to run into the woods away from the police. Oh, and that guy got him. That's a police dog. Yeah, don't be messing with that thing. Yeah, that's Sergeant Dog.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my. They shot the dog. Uh-oh. I don't even want to talk about this. Felony.

Felony, boys. Prison time coming up. Well. Dang. That took it out of perspective. My bad. This is why we have prepared news articles, which we had the duck,

and we should not have gone to the Facebook. It was a very beautiful. I got a question. Yep. Not to change the subject. No, that's very welcome at this point. How come every flight you get on is delayed now? Every flight you get on is delayed.

They ain't got no employees. Because everything was we're having. Well, one of them was they was waiting on. Hey, there's a shortage of everything. That's what they call it. And even though they're delayed, you never miss a connection because the next one's delayed. Well, I don't hear that because, hey, I've missed connections.

I hadn't missed a connection. And I was hot. Because I was actually there in time and they wouldn't let me go on the plane. Huh? What? Yeah. Yeah, me and Stone was flying. And Stone ran ahead since he can do it.

Yeah. and was supposedly to hopefully hold the door open. Well, I got there and was already going through the door to go down. And the lady said, hey, where are you going? I said, I'm going to get on my plane. And she said, no, no, no, the doors are close. And I said, no, no, lady, you don't understand. I'm talking to the guy is standing at the door.

He's standing there waiting on me to get on board. She said, well, you're not going down. Wait, so Stone got on the plane and you did? Oh, yeah, no, no. Yeah. Stone got on the plane and he got one home. Hey, I've got, we've got a reroute coming and go to Freeport four hours later. Okay.

Philip calls Alicia. Leisha drives the Shreport and picks up. We get home about. Oh, I was going to say, please tell me. Stone picked you up in Shreport. No, no. He said, no, I'm going to the house. You know, Alicia comes to Shreport.

We get in about, oh, 2.30 a.m. in the morning. If they had let me get on the street. stupid plane. I'd have been home with like six. And so Stone was on the plane. You were looking at the plane and they wouldn't let you on? Wouldn't let me get on it? And hey, guess what?

I went to. Hey, I got a question. I got on Facebook and I said, hey, this place stinks to high heaven. Okay. I bet that did a lot for you, didn't it? It made me feel better. I hope it cost him a bunch of carriers, okay? They didn't fly that.

What airline was it? Huh? United? Oh, you not as a gar anyway. It is. That's a gar hole. That's a big gar. That Houston airport, they had to actually try to design George Bush International poorly for it to be that way.

I hate to go through. They got Gates B1 through 98 going out of two shipping containers on the end of that thing. And it's like, what in a head. Shipping containers. I mean, that's about what they feel like. What about Detroit? What about Detroit? Detroit.

I got out and I had. You mean Detroit City? 10 minutes to get to the next one. You got some good music? I asked that woman, I said, call them and tell them, oh, you got time, just get on the train. Well, I didn't know the train was 18 miles down. I was thinking.

Detroit's a long one. I'm talking long. Not as long as Denver. Denver, there's some rumors about that airport. What about it? That's a whole conspiracy theory. You don't know about the Denver airport? No, but let's find out after this break.

We'll be back right after this. Yeah, we're taking another break. The end of the world is basically starting at the Denver airport. Then what? The end of the world. The end of the world. When the world comes to an end, I personally believe it's going to be because Jesus comes back.

But some people believe it is because of whatever is happening at the Denver airport and the tunnels and bunkers all underneath it that were mysteriously built in 1995. Oh, man. 1995, on the ground. The Luminati run the airport. The underground is at work here. And there's a bunch of like weird pictures. Have you been to the Denver airport?

Yeah. Have you noticed all the weird pictures on the wall? Yeah. I've been there several times. Yeah, that's the end of the world. That's what's starting at. But that's where, that might be where you want to be because there's, there's like underground tunnels and stuff.

It's like a whole city is underneath. Field of all the lizard people and all the people that rule the world, actually. They're underneath the Denver. airport. Mm-hmm. What do you think? I don't know.

I don't think it has anything to do with marijuana being legal there. Uh-oh. This has been around for a while, though. Yeah. So was marijuana. Yeah. And it ain't going to where. Secret societies that live under the airport.

Uh-oh, secrets. And there's weird. We're in 2021. Yeah. There are no more secrets. What's that? No, they are. But they're all under the Denver airport.

J.D.'s got, he's, why not to Monroe? He's in with this. Why did they pick Denver? What is it about Denver? Because it's a mile high. There. Because they needed to build it. Because it's way bigger than it needs to be. It's Denver. Are these for the aliens are taking over?

Sounds like they already there. What's what I'm talking about? They bust them up. There's a whole community of body snatchers in Denver. The Illuminati, I don't even know what really that means, but they're headquartered underneath the Denver airport. Luminati. That's what everybody thinks.

Anyway. All right. So if you're from Denver and could help us out with whatever's happening. You shed some light on what's going on underneath the Denver airport. We need help. There's a giant horse statue which looks more like a zebra to me. A zebra? The zebra boys are taking over.

They don't. Yeah, there's a lot of weird stuff going on at the Denver airport. Well, I mean. Yeah. I've been to the bus. bottom of the Denver airport. But right before you get to the liminati part, and it is a weird place.

Just out of curiosity. I've been down there too. I had to get on a turbo plop headed to Rapid City. There's a lot of marijuana. There's a lot of marijuana in Denver, right? I don't know. There's a lot of marijuana around the world. I was just trying to make somewhat of a funny.

I don't think, I don't think, if you're dreaming this up, I don't think that marijuana is the recreational narcotic of your choice. I could be wrong. But I would suspect it's something a little higher. Starts with an L and ends in D. Yeah. Anyway, so that's your conspiracy theory of the day, the Denver airport.

So the Illuminati lives underneath the Denver airport? No, that's where they're headquarters. Who are the airport? Does somebody from the Illuminati please reach out to us? We'll have you in this chair. You can have my chair. Or the lizard people. Lizard people.

Oh, the lizard people. Well, because... There is a garner's over, ain't? No, that's the other side. That's Key West. That's Key West, Governor. A little too cold up there. Because some people think people are lizard people. Lizard people.

Some people thought President Obama was a lizard person. Huh. It's a weird... The Internet's a weird place. I just thought Obama was up. I don't know. Well, you really got a... Really got a dig for that.

You got to really... Is this what you define as the dark web? No, no. Oh, this is the... it up with. Yeah, this is, this is there for everybody. Okay. If they're called reptilians, well yeah. They're people that are

they control the earth, but they take human form for political games. I feel like this is going to lead into us having to do a whole episode on conspiracy theories. I've always wanted to because I don't believe in a few things. Conspiracy theory. Well, I believe in Sasquatch and

Bigfoot. But he thinks that whole thing that happened at the moon. That was in a studio. Really? I can tell you that. I know he believes that. Who does that? Johnny D. He doesn't think we landed on the moon even.

He thinks there's a set. I'm not saying. Like a movie set? Yeah. Hollywood. Uh-huh. I'm kind of in agreement with that. See?

I'm not saying we didn't land on the moon. You're just saying, why ain't we been back? I'm just saying. Well, we have been back, allegedly. Well, yeah. I'm just saying about it. Yeah. And it's called.

It's called area 54. And they got a big high fence. all the way of it. I would like to see Area Electric fence. I think it's Area 51, Zai. Yeah, it was Studio 54. You probably had a long night. I probably had a long night there too. That's where they done. It may have been Studio Baker 54. What is it Area 51? Does anybody actually

know? A bunch of people waiting to storm the gates. No, no. The Moonset. No, they got rid of them. Area 51 is the moonset. I don't think so. One giant step for mankind. You think that there's anybody in the military that works at area 51 listening to us right now? Yes, yes. Well, they ain't going to tell you what's there. Yeah.

They won't tell you what they're there. Maybe they'll shed some light on what's at area 49 and 50, though. Yeah. Now, those aren't important. What's the, what's the significance of the number 51? It just happens to be the one. It sounds, it sounds.

It's in the 51st parallel. Yeah. Is that because there's only 50 states and this is the 51st? No, area 51. It was just the 51st area. It sounds like James Bond. I don't know. Area 51.

I just want to know what happened to 1 through 50. I'll look it up. It's an Air Force base. Area 1 is down there, down the road. Oh, yes, it's a Shannie Lake. Oh, Brover River by Brover. Area 1? Yeah, they started here.

Area 1, boy, started in the Shindy Lake. What's Puckett Lake? There, Sam. You stay out of there at night. Here we go. That's where the water opens up. UFOs come in and land, and then the water clothes is back old.

It is bizarre to think that lizard people would live somewhere that's so cold knowing that reptiles are cold blood. That's true. Oh, nobody knows why it's area 51. It's unclear. There's not an area 1 through 50. Unless you're up.

It's unclassified too. You've got to have a top clearance to know that. I just want to know who came up with lizard people theory. That's an imagination. The movie industry. The movie industry. The reptilian. Yeah.

What are some other good conspiracy theories? Say, you got any? We're doubtful on the moon. Don't love us as we. That was a foundation of my childhood to learn that we landed on the moon. Who did it and who said it? I'd prefer to think that's not a lie. I'm not saying that it's not a lie.

I would just, I'm going to operate under ignorance as bliss, and I'm going to act like we went there. I think we went there. I watched it. See, Guy one watched it. Hey, Guy one watched. I once watched you on a trail camera picture. In the middle of the night.

Did you? Uh-oh. They can fake it. And that, I'm just saying. I watched you playing Panther. Meow. But so did I. I was there for that.

Them briars were real. That was it. That was so funny. Right through the bar. Have you ever met an alien, Sa? Nope. I may be an alien, JD. He's part of the reptilian pit.

Sa's worried right now because we're on to his underground layer at the Denver airport. Yeah. Is that what they're? is on his back. Is that really like a spike or something? Yeah. Is that what that thing is? I noticed he ain't saying nothing.

Save him above a bail. We got him. Oh, Lord. All right, well, let's get out of here. We better take a break before we got a break. Before you know, we'll be saying like that birds might not be real. The government killed all of them in 1980 and replaced the surveillance. Before we go, though, when we come back, we're going to get in that hello at duckcallroom.

dot com mailbag. Mailbag, boys. Send us your best conspiracy theories. Oh, yeah. Let's hear what y'all think out there. You're going to make me discuss my laptop sticker one day and I'm willing to. No, I just think that's a clever guy that's hilarious. I'll give him that.

Conspiracy theory, send them to hello at duck callroom. And we're going to do a conspiracy theory episode. I'm ready. And as we promised, we are in that the mailbag. Hello at duck callroom.com. Thank you all for submitting the emails. Look, we're looking forward to your conspiracy theories. That's right.

We'll get to there. But for this week, Johnny D., where are we at? I got two stories about people whose spouses can't cook, which are my favorite. And we can shortly discuss them. This is about people who cannot cook? You know, that's not how Mama made it segment. All right, so I believe Jenny, my girl Jenny, married Jim from Crosby, Texas. She sent this in.

They married after meeting. They had a little boy named Jack. I don't know if that's true. Jack and Jill? They have five children or 11 grandchildren. Oh, okay. There you know. For great-grandchildren.

Big family. Big family. They've been married 51 years in November. Congratulations. Jim and Jenny. That is incredible. And thank you for being such a great example. But back in their early days,

Jim was taking a Sunday nap. And so she decided to make peanut brittle. He must have been tuckered out from all the rat shooting. back in the day. That's up, boy, Sunday afternoon. So she made the, last rest you get a,

she made the peanut brittle on the kitchen table directly onto it. She didn't put no wax paper down? No wax paper. Yeah, see, we're about to run into a problem because somebody going to be gnawing on linoleum back in. Excuse me. Say that 10 times.

Not bad manners, just good tea. I love the fact that half the time doesn't talk in the microphone, but it's always certain to belt it. That's my favorite part of it. And just heavy breathing into it. All right.

We had pneumonia. Oh, hey, you know, we're holding over here. Sorry. We both had pneumonia leave us alone. The peanut. So she made it on the kitchen table, and her husband woke up to find her on top of the kitchen table with a hammer and a screwdriver trying to chip off all the peanut brittles. So that has been the story of Jim and Jenny for 51 years, which is a fun one. Which is a good one.

I like whenever tools have to get involved in cooking. But not in dessert. That's also true. And then we got one of our friends from Vancouver Island, Kanata, Cody with a K, he starts it off pretty rough that his wife is definitely not the greatest cook in the world. Well, you're from Canada. But she tries her best, and that's all he can ask.

So he's got a good attitude about it. So she tried to make peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies. Oh, first time she tried, three smoke detectors went off. Knoch cookies. You take the batterers out of them suckers. They won't do that.

Not a great start. Also not meant to be the timer for your oven. The second batch was better, but they were so dry, he needed a gallon of milk. That's because they love hockey. Well, I have milk is good for you.

They're making pucks. Wait a minute. You got to have milk. Whatever the taste of cookies. Although these were dry. And so the third batch, they were good. They were great, even, he says.

third time to try. But he had to tell her, well, that's not like my mama made it. To which she picked up an electric fly swatter and went at him. She popped him with an electric fly swatter.

I got to say this. He still has scars. If the woman's willing to try three times. You shouldn't. You deserve the electric tides. It don't matter how mama did. If you say that after attempt one, I got you.

I'm with you. But after attempt three and you say they're good, you back off of that, son. Yeah. You deserve the electric flask water. Have you ever been got by an electric flask water? Absolutely. We used to have one in here.

And we used to have swords fight with... Oh, the funnest thing was sneaking up behind somebody and popping them on the back of the leather. That's it, boy. Bam. Well, that's fantastic. Yeah. If they get you on that metal button on top of your hat, you're in trouble.

That one zings a little. All right. Smokes, too. So then I got another email. All right. And I'm pretty sure this episode is going to air. on these people's second anniversary. That's fantastic.

Oh, yeah. I think if I'm doing the math right in my head. But this is Patrick from Walnut Port, Pennsylvania. I just come back from Pennsylvania. Were you in Walnut Port? I give up. Walnut Port. That sounds like a made-up time.

That's where they bring in all the walnuts. So him and his wife, second anniversary, today. Congratulations. Happy anniversary for that. Maybe one day you'll be like Jim and Jenny. How many years? And that's what we're rooting for. Two years.

Two years. This is number two. But they're not big gift exchangers. And they have never been. They've been knowing each other for eight years or so. But he wants to get her something other than dinner. Your advice is coming late because it's today. But what's something you'd gift for someone who truly, so when people say, what do you want?

I don't want anything. And they really mean it. What do you get them? Oh, you start at daylight. And you start leaving notes everywhere. Little love notes everywhere. Love notes every. That John Godwin's a romantic.

I guarantee you, just asked me. Si, what did you? You get her a bunch of roses. All different colors. White, pink, black, red, orange, about 48. 48 roses. Oh, different colors. Martin's looking.

up what to get. Well, I couldn't remember what the traditional anniversary gift was. Second is cotton. You'll notice on the dash of my truck, I still have that little fake piece of cotton that Brittany got me for. Number two? Yeah, for number two. And it's still on my dad.

Because there's years. A fake piece of cotton? Just good a t-shirt. It just looks like a cotton like you went and pulled it out of the field. Oh, stock? Oh, stop. Yeah, it looks cool. And I've kept it.

And I've kept it. No, there's a list, didn't they? I couldn't remember what the second one was. I'm a flower. I'm a flower person. So just thinking, my man, something made out of cotton, there's something. T-shirt. Something really fun.

T-shirt. To celebrate your second anniversary made out of cotton. What time of year is it that they are. You do whatever you will with that information. Hey. What time a year? Yeah. Pajamas, lingerie, whatever.

Whoa, hey. Hey, they're married. It's fine. That's true. Yeah. What time of year is it that they always break out the flowers and redo the rave sites? He really likes flowers. Redo the what?

Rave sites. They clean them up and put flowers on, fresh on all of them. I don't know. What's a race site? Every two, three months. No, no, I'm talking about there's a day that they do this. Oh, I have no idea. Tuesdays?

Memorial Day? I don't know, but there's a day that in South Louisiana, especially, it's flowers everywhere and people are selling them. but they're grave flowers. So hey, I'm... Oh, gray. Yeah. I don't even know what kind they are, but the gray flyers.

So look, I'm driving down the deal when I'm in high school, down in Gonzales. And I see all these beautiful flyers, so I pull over and buy them a big bouquet of them. Well, when I come home and give to her, our next door neighbor is there, where she's a Cajun lady. And, you know, she was kind of... I don't remember, she was acting funny when I gave her. You know, and I said, well, hey, and then she said, don't you know that them are grave flowers? You know, and I said, no, I didn't.

I said, but here's the thing. You know, I want to give them to her where she can enjoy them, not when she's in the ground underneath. So are you telling this young man to buy his wife grave flowers? No, don't buy grave flowers, but I'm saying flowers. I'm a flower man. I'm a flower man. I'm a highly suggested. Don't say, and you're warming some flowers from a funeral home.

Is there a story behind that? Yeah, I ordered some flowers online, and it comes from a funeral home. Come from all hernes. They weren't. But that ain't where I ordered them. It was like a flowers. Yeah, thank you very much. Oh.

You got to be careful. Yeah, don't do that. But she didn't like that? No. Why not? Why? Flyers is flyers. It's the thought behind this is what's important.

I didn't know they come. I wanted to give my flowers to my mother when she was alive. But there was people around. There was people around. Patrick, I'm trying to help you, buddy. I'm trying. Patrick, I do highly suggest not gifting secondhand flowers.

Get a regulation. It seems like one thing you can spring for brand new. All right. Well, then he has a second part of his question. So we got you. Cotton. All right. So he saw somewhere that the two-year itch is the new seven-year itch.

That makes me feel dirty. Wait, what are we? So he's been married two years. And his marriage is going great. They're not struggling. But he's just curious what we do to keep our marriages fresh and exciting since he's in the very beginning stages. I would suggest taking Martin's advice on the cotton thing.

There's one way. Absolutely, friend. But I would think we actually got the answer to that from our friends Jim and Jenny, who have laughed at themselves in the same story. of her with a hammer and a screwdriver for 51 years, right? There you go. So I would say look towards Crosby, Texas and our other friends. And listen to Mr. Gawlin.

And listen to Mr. Gawley. Be romantic. Be romantic. He's got one piece of advice that he always reminds me of. Goblin, do you know what you know what it is? It just hanging there. It gets better. It gets better.

It gets better. It really does. The more you learn each other and learn. And I mean, you just, it gets better. It gets better. I agree with that. And then the other thing you always told me never stop dating.

That's right. Go to the picture show, go to dinner, go. That's the odd one's term for it. Always be romantic. Try your best. I struggle with that sometimes. Have fun and laugh a lot.

Never stop dating. Y'all need time to yourself. Yeah. Make her feel special. Every once in a while. Like your kids out there. She never loses the year. to be dotted on wood maybe yeah yeah i like that i'm looking up all i like all that i didn't

we never did the year thing like you do martin i do it every year i give the traditional gift and patrick just so you know if you're following martin's example year three's leather traditional gift you can combine two and three and get you really somewhere all right all right but hey congratulations on your anniversary are we ready for a bible verse i'll thank you Way already. I got you one, Sigh. Just for you, Flower Man. Luke 12, 27, and 28.

Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin, yet I tell you not even Solomon and all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God closed the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you?

That's a good one. That's a pretty solid one. And it had to do with flower. I didn't know you were so into flowers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a flower, man. All right, well, we'll see y'all next time.

We're out. On the duck calls, we need them. Oh, yeah. Whant, whant, whant.