Duck Call Room - The Dumbest Thing Uncle Si Ever Did

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

Si stirs up confessions of accidental electrocution, busted glass, and wrecked ATVs when he admits the dumbest stunt he pulled as a kid. Jay and Si are amused by Godwin's "need for speed." Si tells the story of treating his heart attack with Tums and shares his biggest phobia. Martin and Si remember getting lost one foggy morning on the river. And John-David hits the mailbag for questions about how to find a church community and whether you need to be rebaptized if you feel like it didn't take the first time. https://samaritanspurse.org/duck — Find out how you can get involved with this awesome ministry, or call 1-800-789-1776 to donate! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back. We're here in the duck call room. I don't really know what we're going to talk about, but do we ever? That's the fun part of this show. Welcome to the duck call room. Did you? Yeah, it was duck call room appreciation date. Yeah, that was a good one. That was, I don't know how we're going to top that. We missed the military and all that, didn't we? Well, no, so I referenced it. We say that all the time. He said we want to talk about the ones that we don't really say that. So, but that doesn't decrease our. appreciation for the other. Amen. So I'm guessing y'all focused on a law enforcement, right? We did them, we did doctors, nurses, teachers, truck drivers, truck drivers, all of them. Everybody that makes a world go round. Also, firefighters, people that just show up to work was

employed. You know, thank you for showing up for work. People that work for a living. Yeah. Which is the best coming ever-decreasing ever-coming rare. Oh, no doubt about it. I'm serious. And look, I would say, I would put. but law enforcement in a special category because they live a life of service.

And for what they have to put up with, this day and age, who, and I train with a lot of local law enforcement. And, man, I've heard some stories. And they don't get paid near enough for what they have to deal with. How many boxes of shells do you take a day? Oh, I have four in my bag. What's the limit on ducks? Six out of a hundred.

How many shells are in a box? That's 6%. Hey, there's 25. Hey, there's 100. Hey, look, the military made that with me. Okay, because, hey, this boy ain't going hand to hand. Okay, because I ain't going to want out of bullets. He ran it out of bullets, that's for sure.

And he started it. They give you two ammo pouches. Okay, I went and bought me four more for each side. And all you was doing was driving a deuce and a half. Oh, load up, yeah, but hey, I'm not going to run out of ammo, son. I carried 10 with me, and look, it was M14, which is 7162. You know, it's heavy. Oh, I'll carry it.

Before I run out, I'll carry it. Trust me, if I had to drag it behind me. So I load up all size grit these days, so I pick up his bag. It weighs about, oh, 25 pounds. Mostly ammunition. That's it. In the full witter. Hang his waiters up.

His waiters weigh about 30 pounds. He's got all those little... Every one of them's full. Every one of those little, what are they called, Martin? Some little shell holders. Shell holders in his waiters all have shells. They got shells in them. Then the chest pocket is full to the brim.

I actually woke up at night. Yeah. Okay. And a cold sweat because I run out of ammo. Well, he's just waiting for the day. It scared me. You're ridiculous. Whenever he decides to go full outlaw in because people always get tickled.

He ain't got much time left. They're going to kill them all. I show up on a duck hunt and I ain't got a bag or nothing. They're like, what do you do all your stuff? I'm like, I got a bottle of water in my pocket and I got a pocket full of shells. If I can't get six done in this, I need a different hobby. That's it. We got to try something different.

Change a hobby, but you ain't ready to go full outlaw on them yet. No. He may be. No, he ain't to hear you. Yeah, but if I ever, if I'm ever told that I'm terminal. We all terminal. We're all terminal. Yeah, but I'm telling me that, hey, it's been rushed.

I've caught something. I've caught something. You're saying they've put an expiration date on. Yeah, yeah. They put an expiration leaving date. All hundred of them. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Every one of us. You know what? I'll be honest with you. On that day, I'll ride with you. Oh, yeah. You holler at me. I can tote more shells in you. Let's go, son.

And I'll be singing one song. What's that? Bon Jovi. Oh, Blaze of Glory. I'm going out to praise of glory, boy. Yeah. No, but I would say between his hunting bag, 100, his waiters, 50, and then his hunting jacket. Yeah.

Both pockets slam full, another 50. so he's got 200 shells. I've got it. Now, see, I've got a phobia, okay? My phobia is running out of ammo. You ain't running out of that. And that ain't happening. No.

You know what happened? Unless they stop making it. If you swap back down to the 28 gauge, you could probably carry 400 weeks. Oh, no. Well, see, I might do that too. That gun, especially if I was old, if I was where there was a lot of quail,

oh, I probably would just go straight out 28 gauge. Okay. When Benelli made the little 28 gauge. Hey, they got a new one coming this year. Oh, no, and I'm probably going to have to buy me one of them. No, you ain't going to buy it. I put you on the list. But anyway, that's the quail gun.

That's it. That's a pretty good milder duck gun, too. Yeah. Oh, you kill them in a hole. I can kill anything. that field them kill with your icy stare well hey I could get it with a BB gun

oh here we go here we go the scary part the scary part is he really believes that oh no the scary part is I can really do it okay because because hey

I used to kill a lot of stuff with a beanie gun son it's amazing your eyes around it really is I thought that's my line for Phil and Jason. That's why they got brown eyes. They need to go sit on a commode for about three days.

Where at least it gets below the eye level. Oh, boy. I'm tired, you tired. Everybody funny. Everybody funny. That's what happens on all that. Golly. 200 bullets a day.

That's what he's got. Have you ever? I am legitimate. curious, have you ever run out in your life? Like, no more bullets? When I was young, because we didn't have any money. And we'd have to, then we'd have to,

use the old the movie, Josie Wells, we'd have to curry comb the country for bottles to go trade them in. Two cents for the big ones, one cents for the six hours. How much was a box of shell? And a box of shell was 50 cents.

So you had to, you had to really do some pictures. hunt up some bottles. Yeah. But that's how we did. That's how you got shells. We'd get enough to get a box of $22 bullets. There you go. Yeah.

That'd take you all day just to get a box shells. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Unless they've been, you know, a lot of people like storm at signs, and they always miss the signs so they don't bust. You ever chunked one at a sign? Oh, yeah. I think that's kind of like a redneck ride of passage, right?

Right. Yeah. Yeah, them on the interstate's hard to hit. They further than you think of them. Yeah, they're further than the ditch. And you go in 75. It's a pretty good lead on. Yeah, you got to do.

That's a lot of physics in that one. Folks don't do stuff I've done in my life. I was a young idiot at one point. We all were when we was young. Yeah, you learn. But, you know, you got to touch that hot stove, figure out that it's hot or not, you know. Learning curve.

For some folks is steeper than others. Got a lot of burn marks on you. Yeah. Some of these hands, I ain't even got no fingerprints left on. They go. They go. They're burnt them smooth as well. Well, look, let's take our first break.

We'll be back right after this. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedale's beef makes such a good product, baby.

Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sal Robertson, would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from.

But with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch. And other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat, either, folks. Yeah.

just go to trybeef.com slash that's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak i won't shoot a crow unless he gets right and i call one though he's hard to kill they can throw they can throw they got pretty good load they don't got pretty slick now they're being slick well no because hey stone used to call them in when he was in a duck round yeah they don't got why is that little chick though they hear that car car car no They don't answer anymore. Yeah. They said, old Tommy fell victim to that last week.

Yeah. They got a pretty good memory on them. A crow is one of the harder birds to slick. Well, think about it, you can talk with one of them to talk. Yeah. You can teach him to talk. A crow? Yeah.

Really? Oh, yeah. Like a parent? Yeah, that's a parent, right? Really. You can teach one of them idiots to talk? I need to get side pet crow. He'd go good with sweet pee.

Oh, no, yeah. Hey, that cat's good. You want to know the first thing size pet bird learned to say? Oh, whoa, whoa. No, give me a glass of tea. No, no, hey. No, no, no. Hey, so I got a good one.

You can teach a pro to talk. Are you serious? Yeah. No, I found it. Unbelievable. Y'all got to quit. You always think I'm lying. Y'all got to quit doubting a man.

Hey, look, I didn't doubt you. For what it's worth, I've doubted you too many times on here, and Google's proving you right. I don't know if you work for Google or what you do in your spare time when you ain't here because there's a lot of time. But I quit out. Well, we've had growing up. And I, why we had to appreciate some deal. I appreciate young people.

You used to be one. Oh, I used to be one. And that was my best time I've ever been, okay, for as far as I'm concerned. You must have had a lot of good times. Oh, no, no, no. I did. What are we talking about? I was listening to the youth.

Okay. The youths? Yeah. The troubled youths of America? Well, not only that, and the stupidity that they have when they're growing up, which they grow out of it. Guilty.

Guilty? Most of them do. I did some foolish ones. I ain't quently, I have not, you know, grown out of mind completely. Okay, how serious? What was the dumbest thing you ever did as a troubled youth? Oh, climb up on a sink And then grab that chain on the light to click it

And you just got through running water on that sink and it's wet Oh, you got one tin through you, huh? Oh, yeah, and it's bz Whi-on! The chain broke It kept me to the chain actually by weight broke the chain. That was the only thing that disconnected the whole mess. Oh, then I heard mama, are you okay in there?

I don't even remember for our incident or not. I got up to stagger like I was drunk. Oh. In the wall. Electrocuted. You done being electric. Oh, yeah. I got electrocuted.

I'll tell you that probably the dumbest stunt I pulled as a young teenager. I remember my dad was a coach, and during the summer, I'd have to go in there in the gym and mess. around while he had to do whatever he had to do when school was out. So I got this bright idea. I found this padlock on the ground and a tennis racket in the corner of the gym. I threw that padlock up in there. Hit it with a tennis racket.

Bad move. It went the full length of the basketball court. Went right through the middle of that square and that glass backboard. Whoa. And it was like this, spider web. The whole thing came from. All that caved in. Oh, one of the worst buttwopins I ever got that day.

Coach Stone was fired up. Also known as dad. The original coach, Stone. Oh, he was fired up. When I was in the eighth grade, we were in the science lab, and there were outlets, like electrical outlets on the middle of the table. And there was dissecting. and stuff so I had a pair of tweezers

and you can see where this is going and I was just talking to a friend I was tapping tweezers on an electrical outlet seem smart yeah no it wasn't and then I kid you not direct shot straight both the ends straight into an electrical outlet and my arm did this

and my other arm did this and I threw it and at that moment sparks are flying everywhere and the teacher walks in and I'm like white as a ghost and she thought out she's like all right he's dead and all of the computers at the whole school turned off. Shut them down, boy.

A bunch of kids were mad because they had to start their class over. I almost ended school that day that I, and they still tell that story at that school. Like, look, there's electrical outlets on the table. We shouldn't have to tell this. Yeah. But don't mess with them. So you went from biology class to physics real quick.

Oh, it was the most painful. Like, it went from, I could feel it surging through my body. Did you learn anything from that experience? Don't put tweezers in an electrical outlet, which should have already known. It was a legitimate action. Yes, you did learn. But it was stupid.

Yeah. Worst one I ever got, growing up, my dad did these dirt track races in Volkswagen around here. So he had like three of them in the backyard for parts. Well, I got bored one day with a BB gun. Oh, boy. I can see where this is going. You know, they got lots of glass on them.

As a young kid, just like Stone was saying, you like to hear glass shatter. It was kind of fun. What is it about that? I don't know. But let me tell you, let me tell you, he whooped me up and down that backyard. I thought he was going to shoot me with that BB gun, just showed me how it felt or something. I wasn't real sure of where we was going with it. But I do remember that that BB gun after that could then shoot a round corner.

Because he took the barrel of that sucker to a treat. That was my punishment. Oh, you. Bibi gun was done. Yeah, it made it hard 90. You could, you know, but hey, I deserved it. I don't know how many times he had told me in my life prior to then, don't do that. And then, you know, one day alone, you know, next thing you know,

you hear that first one go and you're like, oh, man, that's cool. Let me do that again. Yeah, let me see if this one, let me see if this one spider webs like that too. They all do. Every one of them. Every one of them. Every last one. Just some of the things that you did as a teenager, it's a miracle.

It's a miracle. The survival rate is as high as what it is. Oh, no, no. The best one we ever pulled is, I guess what, 19, probably had to be in the 60s. Probably maybe, no. It'd been in the 50s because you used in the 20s in the 60. Okay. It'd be the 50s.

Okay, and it snowed, which is rare in Louisiana, and it actually was about four inches on the ground. And I don't remember whose car it was. It was an old car. I won't say, I don't know why 53 comes to mind, but I think it was a 1953 car, green. And we tied a rope to it, took the barn door off a garage door thing,

and tied it to a rope, and all got piled on the back of it behind that car. And he's going up and down the road, and we're sliding in ditches and railroad track trestles and all this garbage. Like songs that it ain't no wonder we ain't dead. Oh. Because he got to rolling pretty fast,

especially when he'd go around a curve. Oh, yeah. Because then we'd do the wide loop thing, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had the old. Upside down in the ditch with the, door on top of us.

You know, before cable was a thing down in these parts, and my parents had one of them giant satellite dishes. Oh, yeah. In the front yard, giant. You know, there's one sunk at the bottom of Canyon Lake. I caught fish off that. Have you? Yeah.

Well, that's what we used. That's no weird looking at it. You look and say, we just lands on the moon. Well, that's what we used for our sled when it would ice and snow. You just hooked the four-wheeler up to that old giant satellite did. That thing right there. That thing right there. I ain't got much friction at all.

It go across that wet ground. Yeah. And you had a Honda big red three wheeler pulling it, son, as fast as it'd go. 250. I mean, bouncing off trees and everything, not a helmet inside. Here we are. You know, that just, it puzzles me. They didn't care about this kids back in.

Now you kid can't hardly hurt themselves on nothing. Everything's made with them and mine. Back in, it was either get tough or figure it out, one or two, you know. My dad's favorite saying growing up, I'd come. come in hurt or crying and he'd look at me and goes well it'll feel better when it stops hurting and it would make me so mad and i probably heard that five billion yeah the other one i heard all the time was i bet you wish that hadn't happened yeah that's one of them deals hey oh all this oh yeah but you know what the scary thing is the legal voting age is 18

Yeah, I wasn't ready to make that decision at 18. I was doing some goofy stuff at 18. Oh, my goodness. Now, I voted every time since I've been 18, but I didn't deserve that power. No. I hadn't done nothing to earn that power yet, other than survive.

Oh. Which is impressive considering the things all you've done. Oh, man, I'm here to tell you. That's fun. That's a blast from the past. They're thinking about sliding around the yard, isn't it? satellite dish that was boy that's a good and hey just surviving

three wheelers in general there's a reason they all got four now I can tell you right now Honda Big Red wasn't always better than three a Honda Big Red was one of the most dangerous things you could give about a nine to 12 year old because first thing you did

was rode that wheelie as far as you could with that back rack dragon and then buddy if you got a little squirley next thing you know you's like a turtle it was all laid up on top of you I don't know how many times I laid that sucker over on top of them. He come all the way back with it.

It was easy to do. Big Red. Yeah, you stand. You stand on the seat when your hands reached out to the throttle. As you take off, you take him feet and put on that back rack and pick up, and you could ride that sucker on two wheels as far as you could go. Oh, yeah. I never had a three wheel.

Because that front wheel wouldn't do nothing. Your boy, John Reed, got a collection of over. Yeah, he's collecting them. Oh, our old Big Red 250 still running. You go crank it right now. every time I get on it I kind of flinch a little bit I'm like oh boy I had some bad times on this thing we had two four ways the one that jumped out of some kind of pit oh yeah I went over in a pit uh-huh ran off the backside of a dirt pit where they was digging dirt show did I was just cruising

too just riding no no that just hit me when I was talking about me it was it martin did that was me senior year high school I'm and he said I was just riding along and he said next I know I'm airborne I'm looking and said they wouldn't they used to It used to be just a general slope, but they had dug off the back of that for a dirt tip. Uh-oh. And I just, my buddy said last thing I saw was my brake lights. I had locked them up. Them brace what, do no good.

No. No. I just went out of sight. Good. I remember going down. I was looking, and I'm going down. I'm like. Did you bail off of it?

Oh, I did, which was probably the dumbest thing I could have done in hindsight. But I looked in and there was like. like a trach hole here and a dump truck here. And I'm splitting the difference somehow. I mean, good Lord just said, I'm going to teach you something, but I ain't going to take you home. I mean, that's all he was doing with that.

You're going to learn a lesson today. Yeah. He looked at me like Kevin Hart. You're going to learn today. And so I just went and I looked and I said, I got to get off this thing. And I jumped off. Well,

I beat the three wheeler to the ground, but it found me. So it landed on top of me after it starts tumbling after I jump off of it. And there's still, my dad never fixed it, and it's still on there this day. The back rack has an indention

as wide as I was where it went across my back. Good night. And it's still right. And my left butt cheek has that same indention in it where it hit me. Oh, 100%.

It's a bad deal. But you know, my parents, I was like, I probably ought to go to the hospital. They said, nope. Nope. Suck it up. They said you're going to be done.

They said you're walking. You're fine. You're right. He was just mad that I've been in his back rack. that's all he was mad about i mean he was like but it still runs picked up it it runs to this day nothing wrong with it but yeah buddy that that was uh that was one of them moments i said this is it i've had a couple of them in my life that was one of them i said this it right here see y'all my buddy said they just watch them tail lights go over there i said what'd y'all think when i was

following they said i hope he makes it yeah yeah i was leading away because i had riddened i there a lot you know like i knew what i was doing no don't follow me so you didn't do any scouting no i haven't been there in about three years i didn't even know they'd turn that thing into a dirt pit it's right out there off 3033 past shenny oh yeah that old dirt pit in between there and 34 mm-hmm oh yeah yeah yeah you should just go out there riding they caught it to sand dunes or whatever bar pit yeah yeah no more i bet that hole's full of water now oh yeah uh all right well let's take a break we'll be back with more tales from the idiot past right here in the duck call room. Tales from the idiot.

I sent her punched one of them big Chris Oak posts on a go car at one time. Center pushed it. Could it stop you? Oh, did it stop me? It stopped. I kept going. And then I got racked. I tell you, another one good with old wheeler ATV.

We had a Yamaha Breeze, a little 125 automatic. I got it when I was about 11 years. old they got tired of me wrecking the three wheelers and so i got that thing and we went over to the hunting camp and i was like man this thing run so then just a little 125 so my grandparents said we go in to work on the deer stuff plant food plots all that well they did rain a big old mud hole so i said i'm going just tear down through that mud hole right florida go and hit the thing full speed found out real quick what a hydroplane was went over that thing

got sideways I end up off the forewether and I'm going like this at about a 45 toward a pine tree and about that time I hug said pine tree and that was another one of them times I said this is it this all of it right the most of them involve ATVs because I had no

fear which which is weird if you know me now because now I'm speed limit driver very defensive I don't but boy back in I was like God when I had a need for speed The only difference was I grew out of it. All one still got it. Oh, he still got it.

He still got it hard. I don't go fishing with him no more. He scares me half to death. I mean, that joker is wide open. I'm talking about running through stump fields. He says, you can't see it, run it. Yeah. No, sir.

You can't hit what you can't see. That's what he lives by. I don't like that at all. That's just like size poker game. That theory don't work. That's just like his poker game. That works every time but one. But that one time.

That one time that stumps there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's going so fast. In a boat? Yeah. Oh, I don't. You can't even breathe.

Yeah, he got that Suzuki 250 pin back. I'd jump out and just swim to shore. Oh, no, no. So you never did get in on this. Uh-oh. When we hunted Cypress Creek off a field house. Oh, yeah, I was in on some of those. No, yeah, but no, no.

That was crazy. No, no, no. We would crank up at his house that the boat house, he would back out with a 20-hour smirky. Well, 14-foot looming the boat. We're in it. I got my back to the front. And I'm watching as we go by, no lights.

This is in complete darkness. No flashlight. He's running wide open up Cypress Creek, which is slam full of stumps. And these stumps do not gill. There's no boat lane. There's no distinct channel. The channel is about as wide as this table. Oh, yeah.

It's as wide as you boat because I've run it a handful of time. And sometimes it gets down to where it ain't nothing but the prop going through a bunch of stumps. Yeah. And he's going wide open? He's wide open with a mercury, 20-horse mercury, okay, that runs faster than anyone you've ever seen. There's a 20 board out to a 50. Yeah. Okay, yeah.

Well, another one of that, he busted everything off of it. And all it did, he broke the fins off on both sides. Okay. And all it did, it gained five miles per hour when he burst the left one off. When he broke the right one off, another five miles an hour. Okay, so it's running about 45 an hour of 50. Look, I'm going up and when we're going by and the wave of the moves off, I'm looking at stump this big around and the boat is about that far from it.

Oh, yeah. That's right there about that second curve. Oh. Okay. Uh-huh. All the way up. Yeah. There's stumps all way up at that.

The whole time I'm just, Lord, please let us get to the blind and back. Oh, that's why Phil didn't let anybody else drive the boat except for him, except one time. This is from the boat house all the way in the duck blind. He don't ever shut it down. So let's talk about the time. I was there for this when Phil let somebody, sides himself run the outboard. Uh-oh.

So he got a brand new Yamaha. So I said, let me, let me try this. Try out that Yamaha. That stuff wasn't there yesterday. That's what he said. Look, Cy, there he go 30 yards, wide open. Wham! Lower unit gone.

Brand new outboard. And tell them what you told Phil. Sheared to pin. That's something one there yesterday. I mowed it right through here. He said, oh no, he's been there all along. I stopped being there 75 years. When I come there, oh, he'd go wide.

Oh, that's good stuff. Oh, man. He's the only man I know because he was somewhere one day in backwater. And I don't even remember who was with him. I'm talking about, you know, Phil said, hey, we've got to go this way. you know and the guy said no you know he said

I've got a compass around here somewhere he said but you're going the wrong way you know so they finally found a compass and Phil had been telling him all along you need to head this way and he said no we've got to go the other way so Phil listening to him like an idiot yeah

so finally he said oh wait a minute here's that compass and he got it out and he he put the compass you all well it showed the way Phil said said hey go that way and the guy said I said, oh, no, the compass is wrong. Well, I remember that day.

So I remember exactly what happened. I was there for that. It was backwater, remember? Oh, yeah. The water was up, and we were leaving from Phil's house and going into the Washtown River. And Phil says, we need to do it this way. And Jace says, no, y'all going to wrong way. And it was foggy that morning.

I was in the boat with Jace. Oh, that's right. And so we went, what, two miles, three miles? And I said, we're going the wrong way. Jayce. He said, I've been doing this for 30 years, you know. I've been living on this river for 30 years. I said, well, let me ask you a simple question.

Which direction does the Washington River flow? He said, it flows south. I said, shine your light in the water. That current was just blowing. I said, we headed south, son. He said, good night. I remember that. Let's turn this rig around.

About three days later, we passed his deer stand four times one morning trying to find the elmower. Oh, no, they found us. Hey, they found us. We was out there, and I, as we was going along, here. Oh, when we come back, y'all was still in the front yard. No, no, no, no, no. You don't got turned around. No, we was over there where the, uh, behind the layer, up in there.

Oh, yeah. Because I was shining on the light. I shined a lot and I said, wait a minute, we don't go back. I know giant cypher trees anywhere going to the duck behind. I said, there's about 20 big cypress trees here. Where in the world are we? Yeah, we was in a big. By that time we said, hey, y'all lost.

Y'all said, no, we ain't. They said, yeah, you are because we was heading down the river while ago, so I know you're lost. He said, do you have any idea where you're at? And I said, not really, because I don't remember these big giant size trees. He said, you're about a mile above the lair. Yeah. And that big open field, I said, Phil said, they're right. Yeah, we was in a big hurry to get there before daylight to go hunting 25 feet of water.

Like we had ducks. Talk about stupid. Oh, man. I mean, dumb. I tell you right. No. You do what you do to do the things you love. I mean, but there was nothing wrong with us waiting until daylight.

It wasn't going to affect how many ducks we killed. I've been in one other instant like that It was in North Carolina When I was stationed over there I'm driving Okay, and I got the family with me in the car We're going somewhere Coming home, I think

The fog is so bad I got the center line And I got the window Roll down and I'm driving About the center line Got your head out the window? Yeah, I got my head out of the window right Because you can see a car

When you're coming, yeah So every once in a while I look up and I said, well, here comes the car. Let me slow down and get over in my way. Y'all. And they come on and said, are you lost too? And I said, no, I ain't lost. I know which way I'm going.

I said, I'm headed toward Louisiana. He said, well, I'm lost. And I said, now you're headed the other way, you know. Yeah. Where are you going? He said, I'm going, you know, to Mississippi. I said, well, follow us. Get in line.

We ended up with a convoy. Okay, because you could not. that's the airist feeling because you have no ideal where anything is. No, yeah, been there. Because the only thing I can say for sure is I'm in the middle of the highway. I know that because this is the white line right down to the sun. Well, you know, navigating the backwater before daylight's hard enough, but you add fog to the mix.

You're lost. Yeah, there ain't no sense. You might as well just, hey, wait to daylight. And you still going to get lost. And probably you ain't going to make it there because you can't see nothing. Yeah, there are no landmarks. No. Well, let's take another break.

We'll be back right after this. Me and Siver was fishing, and we had done got on a nice school of fish, catching them pretty quick. And then all of a sudden we quit catching them. And I looked up, and we were 20 yards from where we were catching them. Because Gobbin was in charge of the trolling butter. I said, what are you doing? He said, wrangle.

I'm fishing. I said, what did you say, hey? I said, hey, we was over there a while ago

and just every cast was riddled them in. Yeah. Why did we get over here? He didn't have no answer for it. We kept asking him and it was like when you ask him, how many ducks you kill?

He'll never give you a number. Four, seven, eight, nine, got a couple in the bushes. He'll never give you a number. I think we got 17. I said, wait a minute,

you need to count them. well he had fooled around back there you'd hear mummling to himself you were yeah yeah that's what what amy you got and he had never come up with that okay we got 18 so anyway size said hey he said hey navigator put us back on the fish go back to where we's catch him so he takes us back over well guess what we go to catch him again well side caught him a nice crop he in the he went to he leaned over grabbed that I was actually turned like this yeah he turned like this yeah he turned grabbed that Yeti lid and pulled up on it

and when he just from opening the lid I heard an audible oh it was more like it was like a 22 rifle that's what it sounded like because somebody said hey who shot the gun

and I was back out in my chair like he was no gun oh he was doubled over and look and it broke his rib. I fought it like an idiot.

Yeah. You fought it longer in three days. It was about eight weeks. Oh, it was three days. Because I, finally, my wife said, go to the doctor idiot. That's all she said to me. That sounds like a recurring theme in your life. Well, no, no.

But anyway, I don't like doctors. But anyway, I end up going late. Like that time he had a heart attack, but, you know, it was just tamales. Well, no, no. But here's the deal. He was doubled up. doubled over in pain, and I could tell it was some bad pain. Real pain ain't no joke.

But the fish were biting. But I said, side, we need to leave. You're pretty rough shape. He said, no, no, no. He had that old jigspo up like he is holding his side. He said, they're still biting. We ain't going nowhere. He's tough, baby.

But anyway, no, no. I didn't know they had a shot that they could pop me in the butt with. And because every time I've heard a rib before, I went to the doctor and all they did was to take an ace bandage out and wrap my chest and say, go home. So I just kept telling us, baby, they can't do nothing for a crack ribs or broke rib. All they're going to do is put an ace bandage on it.

I got five or six of them in a stupid drawer. Here, tape me up, Frankenstein. Well, no, no. But anyway, you know, she kept saying every time I just, because every time I'd move, it was like somebody had a big knife and just, It might have been one of those intercostals. Oh, no, no, no.

Because, hey, anyway, you know, finally she just said, hey, I'm tired of hearing you moaning and groan. Get in the car, stupid. So I did. He went up there and, hey, as soon as it walked in there, he's talking about, hey, he either broke his ribs or he cracked them. So they x-rayed him and they said, yeah, you broke two of them. And I said, well, what can y'all do for it?

And they said, nothing. Except give you a shot for the pain. That's it. So then the nurse told me, drop your jaw, yeah, man. Pop, you know. Did you ask you who she's talking to? No, no, no. And immediately the pain is gone.

And I looked at my wife and I said, hey, don't ever let me be that stupid again. I am steroid or something. I have no idea that they had, you know, a shot they could give me. Because look, I didn't have another pain. Every again. Yeah. But did you have a heart attack and you thought it was tamales? No, it was a, I said it was, what are them things you pop?

It's not gummy bears, but the red huts? No, you chew them. Pop rocks? Hot tamales. No, I can't even. The cinnamon. What are we talking? I can't even think of the name of you.

Take it for a heartburn. Yeah. Tombs. Tombs. You know, and I just, I told my wife, I said, I got a heartburn. Yeah, he got a heartburn. Because you'd eat in tamales and not. No, no, no, yeah, I was eating hot, hot,

peppered you know so i said okay you know he thought he had it was a heart attack yeah yeah and you treated it with tums yeah for a little while till that miler drake clipped him well no no no till i wounded a milder drake couldn't catch up with him yeah and then sigh was like that old man on a stunt no no the next morning i got up got my waders on everything got in the truck started started down there turned around come back and i said hey when i woke my wife up like it's 4.38 a m in the morning i said you need to take me in emergency room. She said, why? I said, this ain't heartburn.

What did you tell that old boy when he said you had a heart attack? No. Nope. He said, well, when he would tell me to him, I said, no, I didn't have an attack. I was just a little out of breath. Yeah. He said, hey, you idiot. I'm looking at you x-ray.

You had a heart attack. He said, I can see the damage it's done on your heart. Three hours later, he's having an open heart surgery. Oh, yeah, then they told him, okay. He went from telling the doctor, no, I didn't have a heart attack to open heart surgery in three hours. That's sigh for you right there. You are America's favorite uncle for reasons. And what that doctor did?

Every time he would stitch your heart up. No, no, no. Here's what was funny. I told this to Philip, okay? I just hadn't heard the tamale part of it. Well, no, no. I mean, either. What tamales is it was up.

Well, he's eating jalapeno peppers and all that. Straight up. Anyway, I was telling Philip, you know, I said, hey, look, my. My older brother, Harold, when I come out of the recovery room, you know, and they were telling me, he said, hey, guess what? I said what, y'all, and this is my older brother, Harold. He said, Doc didn't put you on the blood and cheek. Because usually, you're dead.

If they make your heart out, you're offline. Mm-hmm. There ain't no heartbeat, okay. So Doc said, as soon as he, you know, he's talking about scaffold. Cut 12 inches on my chest, okay. Rib feather. And then they all, hey, that's about what it is.

I'm serious. They just, when he's, you know, wound the thing up and spreading my ribs, they all, his whole team just went, ah, because my heart's there, there's no fat, and my heart's saying, boom, boom. Nothing but grissel.

Y'all, I can hold on the sir, Lord. Then all he says is, We're not going to put him on the blood machine, hand me the scaffold. Y'all, and they took a vein out of my right leg. Okay, so, hey, look, he just reached over there, slipped my heart. Okay, ba-boom, stitch, bab-boom, stitch, bab-boom, stitch. Okay, turn it around on the other side, cut. You know, bab-boom, stitch, bab-boop stitch, bab-bo-stitch, bab-stitch.

I told Philip that, and Phillips always just rolled his eyes like, Yeah, the biggest liar I've ever met in my life. He wouldn't say it. So look, we over at John Gimmer's restaurant, and John has asked me, he just bought a restaurant, and he said, hey, would you do a commercial, you know, to help me plug my restaurant? I said, oh, sure.

So we're sitting in there, Gimmers, done cook me a big, fine cheeseburger, you know, me and Philip. About this time, here comes a guy in Scrubs, walks in, you know. And as soon as he walks by me, He said, how's you been doing since your open heart surgery? You know, and I look at it because I don't recognize the guy. I said, I'm doing all right, you know.

Everything was good, you know what you do? He said, that was the most amazing thing. Watching Dr. White, when he put the rip spread it on your heart, and we all went, and then he said, scaffold, and he actually stitched that vein. He took out of your leg to your heart on both sides in between heartburn. confirmed it man eyewitness no no yeah and philip is going you know what happened that day i always thought

you was lying when you said that but you know what happened that day that was the day you quit being able to blow a duck call that's it well i ain't got i ain't got much lung power anymore yeah when they cracked that chest over that was all of it i lost that was his kryptonite that's like 50% but it was my own fault that's where he went from a mallard head into a shoveler hen. And a lonesome one at that. Hey, and I can still put him in the D-Corps. Oh, I love it.

All right. All right. All right. We'll take our last break. We'll be back. And we're back. For our favorite segment, arguably of the week. We can get in that mailbox.

Hello at duck callroom.com. Send me an email. Send them on in. Johnny D. What's in there today? Oh, we got some different things. All right. Let's get a little churchy today.

You want to? Sure. Oh, Al. Emails in, not Stone's father-in-law, a different one, Alan. Oh, it ain't our Al? It's not our Al. Vestless Al, if you will. Okay.

Vestless Al. Okay. I'm sorry, I can't make jokes about my own father-in-law. Well, we got him plenty on the last episode. He's my favorite nephew, so I didn't do. All right. So, Alan emails. in and says he's a new parent, well, not a new parent. He has a four-year-old boy. He loves his family,

great wife, but he would like to provide a better future for him. And he's not just talking about purely financial. He's been a believer, but he doesn't really go to church. And so he's trying to figure out how to get plugged in to a church. and how to figure out from going from, you know, not really involved in that lifestyle that I would say we're all involved in. And finding, how do you go, how do you do that jump? Well, here's what I got for you. First, the term go to church, there's no such thing.

Okay. You go to be with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Can't go to church because the church is. Okay, because the church is the individual. When they come together. Yeah, but he's looking for those individuals. Well, no, no. That's what I'm saying.

Hey, you need to, of your choosing, sir, find you some people that you want to worship with. Yeah. Don't worry about to sign on a building. Go to several of them. You'll know when you walk in if it's for you. Trust me on that. Where I am, okay, and, you know,

we should forget the name on the building. Yeah. Don't even look at it. Okay, don't even look at it. Because, hey, if you believe that God, the Father, sent his son, Jesus, to do what he did for us, okay? And then Jesus, when he left, he said, hey, don't worry about it. I'm going to send you the comforter.

He gave us the gift of Holy Spirit. Okay. So with them three, that's all you got to worry about. If they profess them three and are following them three, then hey, their brothers and sisters are mine. Okay, that's why, you know, the name on the building is irrelevant. That's right. And I would also add, when you walk into the building,

if you see at least three people in camouflage, it's probably a pretty good church. That's a good sign. That's a decent side in there. So be looking for the camouflage. Preferably real tree. That's funny. You got to go with the best, boys.

My only advice would be that 2020 has provided you something, Alan. Every church is online now. Yep. So you can go watch. You can sample from home. Tonight. As soon as we're done here, you can click every church you're within 30 minutes of. And I promise you can see what they're doing on Sunday morning.

And find the one you like the best. And then here's my challenge to you, though, Alan. Do not sit on the back row and then leave immediately. I want you to go in, get about halfway up. If you're uncomfortable sitting there, go three more rows closer and sit there. Because if you're just trying to hide, you might not get involved like you say you want to get involved. If you go diving in and you're sitting on, somebody's going to go, never seen that guy. I'm going to go introduce myself.

and you might be surprised at the outcome. So sit uncomfortably close. That back row probably going to be full anyway. Yeah. But all the regulars. All the regulars are. It usually is. But I'll scoot over for you.

Martin said, hey, he'll make room for you, maybe. Martin's on the back row. Hey, look, I'll say this. You're one of the reasons I sit in the back almost every room because I'm almost 6, 5, 270 pounds. I try not to block other people's view. I try to be mindful. of other people.

If I go sit down on the front row with a head this big, and especially in church building, odds are I ain't going to have my hat on. If one of them lights hits the top of this head just right, you're going to be blind back there behind me or the preacher or whoever on stage is going to get distracted,

and then the whole thing's over. I do my part. And I stay back here. You know, give you a bad experience, which is what he's trying to say. The other thing I like being at the back, I guess everybody walks in, so I guess say hello.

Hey, man, what's up? You know? So, you get to be a quasi-greeter. My wife is a front row person. Yeah, she's all up on that front row. I'm more like of a fourth or fifth row kind of guy, but my wife's like front row and I'm like, okay. I'll sit anywhere from the front to the back,

but he's going to be on the end so he can get out in that aisle whenever the singing gets started. And you're going to hear him no matter where he said, baby. Is he going to bring the heat? Yeah, hey, well, one thing about it, God doesn't say I have to sing in tune. He just says make a loud, joyful noise. And Jack, I can make some loud noise.

Yeah. So I get a little confused on. joyful from time to time but he got loud you know loud's not in that verse right what it is to him yes it is i'm just in there somewhere i'll like to look it up i'll read that whole chapter this or what version does a loud joyful noise well i like it i'm like hey i'm loud hey i'm loud hey in these days too just to throw him another one odds are there's some sort of ministry dealing with a hobby that you already have. I know like around here there's fishing ones, there's hunting ones, there's target shooting, there's carpenters, there's, you name it, there's something that people are

using as a ministry to get people involved and things like that of something that you're already doing or enjoy. And a lot of times can include your kids and you said you had young kids. So, you know, be looking for stuff like that. That'll be on their Facebook pages, websites, whatever. So plenty of options. Plenty of options. All right. Next. another church question multi-baptism question mark Adam emails in

and he says if you were baptized an adult then fell off and did some things that were not good we're not going to mention what he says there do you need to be rebaptized or is turning your life around and truly for the first time going all in with Christ is that the way to go and he said much like Phil

Phil was baptized on that when he did that too and I was baptized twice twice but I know I wasn't I was baptized once I got wet another time well I'm like you you know but I mean I to me that's all between you and Jesus it's all about your relationship that symbolized to me the second one the real one the one that took was the one that symbolized my commitment to live for him and you know do we all stumble of course we do you know I mean that's not we're human that's going to happen that's what he's there for so I don't you know if your first one was a true commitment to Jesus

just because you stumbled somewhere along the way. That's fine. My first one was because everybody else was doing it. I had no, the only thing I knew was everybody was doing it. And, you know, I was young and I kind of wanted to go swimming in the pool. Didn't realize it was a baptistry, you know, like, didn't know that, you know, I was just too young to know anything. Fear pressure.

Yeah, so that's why. That's why I did what I did. So if your first one had that symbolism of your relationship with Christ, I don't, you know, it's up to you. Ultimately, it's between you and Jesus, but there's nothing. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, you know. Yeah, and First Peter, it says the water symbolizes baptism. Not the removal of dirt from the body, but the pledge of a clear conscience towards God.

So if you're feeling guilty by what you've done, go run that sucker back and get baptized, and you're going to come up out of that water, and you will, you will, have a clear conscience knowing I'm doing things. I'm publicly saying, hey, it's not normal, by the way, to have another person take you and dip you underwater, then lift you up, which is the reason we do it is because it's like waving our hands in there and saying, hey, this is me now. This is what I'm going to do now. This is me pledging my life to Jesus. And I got a clear conscience now because I'm letting everybody know. Because when people see you do that, they go, huh, that aren't believers.

Yeah. So that's all I got. Sa? Well, it was like, you know, like Martin said, okay, it didn't take. That's the way I was. Okay. I did it because of peer pressure. Everybody was doing it, okay?

But it's just, you know, if you don't, if your lifestyle don't change, I love what my brother said when his friend came looking for him and said, hey, come on, let's go get drunk. And he said, you don't understand. The guy you looking for has died. I buried him. And that's what baptism is all about. You're burying the old man of sin or the woman of sin.

Okay. And the new guy is coming. Okay. God calls you a new creation. Okay, and then the best part of that is, okay, then God gives you a part of himself. Because once you reenact Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, you're given the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Okay, and that has to do with he's marking you for the resurrection. He's giving you the comforter, okay, that lives inside you and helps you with your daily struggle of all this stuff that you're talking about, okay, you fall short. The spirit helps you with that. But you don't know what to say to the almighty one except me. Like I always say, hey, yeah, it's me again. Being stupid as usual.

I did it again. The kid's back. Yeah, I'm back. My bad. You know, my bad. Again. Yeah. That's good.

That's good. That's just one of the thing like J.D. was talking about, okay? We all stumble. We're all going for short. Okay. If the only way you can feel better about yourself is to be re-baptized,

then by all means by man, okay? Run it back. Run it back. Because Jesus is not going to say nothing to you about it. Okay. He's going, you know, throw his arms around you and tell you, hey, I love you anyway, my man. Yeah.

that's the great part about all this no matter how stupid i can get his love is better than that okay he always says okay hey look yeah i know it's you're weak okay but i still love you get up knock the dirt off yourself and let's go let's go let's get going again guys that's what it's all about that was good i got like six bible verses i want to read from that one now well what are you going to leave it in there well i had make a joyful noise all to the world and the niv does say shout so i got your back on that and then that's psalms 101 and then psalm 73 26 says my flesh and my heart may fail but god is the strength of my heart and portion forever let's take that word may out and put will because we are going to

you're going to fail just pick yourself back up realize that's what grace and mercy is all about that's what the deal about hey keep your eyes focused on Jesus but then the way I ended it I do want to end it with this verse instead 2 Corinthians

12 9 but he said to me my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect and weakness your weakness therefore I will boast all the more about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. You may fall short and you're going to,

but that's where the true power of God shows up and His grace will cover whatever you do. You just got to lean on him. Boom. Love it. All right. We'll see y'all next time right here. They don't get any better, boys.