Duck Call Room - The Impostor Who Lied About Hunting with Phil Robertson

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

Godwin comes face-to-face with an impostor who claims to hunt with Phil "every day." Si and Martin review the Super Bowl halftime show, and the boys share what was on the game-day menu. Martin discovers a newfound respect for parents after a babysitting stint. Si and Martin reveal what Valentine's Day looks like in their marriages. John-David and the boys are pumped about what fishing tournaments mean for West Monroe. And Martin breaks the news to Si that someone caught his infamous 40-year-old fish. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do you think that the Super Bowl was rigged? Why do you think that? Because everything was going fine. The Bengals are playing good ball. Bingo title. Okay. And, hey, the Rams, both of them are playing good defense and offense. A Rams defense was pretty rough.

They're going back and forth. Okay. And then all of a sudden, you know, the other coach, the Rams coach, make some adjustments. Okay. And then the other coach don't make adjustments. It's all about adjustments. That's why you think it's rigged. The other coach didn't just.

You know, just, you know, every time Joe Burroughs goes back, he gets sacked. You know, I'm looking at that and say, well, wait a minute. Hold. His name is Aaron Donald. Yeah, and Von Miller. They're really good at football. Aaron Donald ain't Superman. He's as close to he can be on a football field.

Well, no, no, if I admit that, he's close, okay, and he's a good defensive man, okay? Well, can I tell you what changed, or what I noticed it changed? What? First half. they were running five-yard routes. They completed a bunch of five-yard passes. Second half, they said, we got to get the ball down the field.

That's when Aaron Donald feast. Every time Joe Burrow should have pulled the trigger and stopped and brought it back down, too late. Too late. Well, that's the thing I've never understood because I don't even remember when it was, but anyway, it was a championship game for football. And look, they moved the ball down the field,

tied it up passing and then what do they do they get down in the side of the 20 and they run it four times and lose the game and I'm looking what's wrong with this picture well you know because you hey here's the thing if you got a little

in and out slants and in to the flag you can't guard that can I tell you my biggest problem with the whole game what for three quarters and 75% of another other one.

Them little yellow things didn't come out of their pocket. Don't get me. And for the last two minutes, they couldn't keep them things in their pocket. Yeah. Well, well, well. They missed two major calls. They did. I'm not.

They missed a call and they threw a phantom call. Oh, yeah. It was making an adjustment. It evened out. And it always does. Roger Goodell, please call me. I can fix it. But the last two minutes were, one of them was a creature. Ridiculous.

One of them was egregious. One of the penalties needed to be caught. Oh, yeah. The other two, you didn't call that all game. Why start now? Yeah, why would you start now? The Los Angeles Rams moved from St. Louis, and I feel bad for the good people of Missouri. But they need Los Angeles to win a Super Bowl so they can actually have.

I just look at it. Hey, if you give me three. They still don't have any. If you give me three first down opportunities, first in ten, first in goal. From the two? Yeah, three times in a row. If you give me, I'm, hey. You know, I could put level the monkeys out there in the score.

What kind of monkeys? Big ones. Ring-tailed lemurs. They're my favorite. They're fast. I just like half-back passes for touchdowns. But that old sloth that was on that commercial. I was just, I was disappointed.

The end of the game gave rise to people saying the game is fixed. It was terrible optics. The rounds didn't deserve to be in the first Super Bowl they were in. They deserved to win because there was another bad call on them. But I will say for the first time in Joe Burroughs' career, it looked like the moment got to him a little bit. Instead of making the quick decisions, he started pump faking, which he doesn't do. No, no.

He quit with the quick draw. He got to thinking and quit playing football for the first time since I've known him. And that's what ended up costing. But what you saw, too, are a bunch of coaches. never been to the Super Bowl. I mean, you saw it on the Bengal side. Like, those guys, that moment, I was just like, instead of fourth and one, I was like, send McPherson out.

I think he can do it from like 63. I think McPherson, he's just cocky enough to make that field goal. You know, I like, that's what I was hoping for. Not because I bet on the over. This is going to tell you. Our Westmoren, oh boy got a ring, though. Yeah, he did. Mr. Whitworth, who I played football with.

Congratulations. Yeah. Absolutely. No, I was rooting for you. I was rooting for Joe. No offense, Andrew. Please don't choke me when you get back to town. That's fine.

Like, that's cool, but I still was rooting for Joe. 100%. I think we all were. Yeah, I mean. But it was, hey, but Godwin, did you like the halftime show? No, that music wasn't from your prime. I went immediately back to high school during the halftime show. Like my junior, my sophomore junior senior year.

And I thoroughly enjoyed watching them old rascals get out there and do their thing. I'm just going to say, I loved it. They shouldn't make that lady's shorts in that size. No, that could have been a little longer. They should have been different. But Mary Jay, for your age, good on you for still looking like that. I'm telling you. I ain't looked that good ever.

So good on her for staying in that kind of shape. Now, 50 cents, inflation hit him hard, son. He was hanging upside down now. Yeah. But that boy doesn't swole up. You know, 50 doesn't turn into a solid dollar. Maybe a dollar and a quarter. Hey, it wasn't good.

It wasn't good half-time. Oh, it was great. It really was. Yeah. Snoop Dog did his thing. I read the deal about M&M what he's been clean and sober for like 12 years now or something. I read that. So congratulations to our man M&M.

And he took a knee in honor of Tim Tebow. Is that what it was? That's what I'm saying. It was. Hey, that's what he called. But he looked good. Like, because you ain't heard nothing out of the boy, but if anybody's made it 12 years sober

and the career path that he had chosen and the fame that he had, my hat's off to you, son. Like, that's good work there. But it was cool. It was a good night. They finally figured out a halftime show playing to the people that are actually watching it.

Like, you know, no offense, but The Who, that was a lot of... The Who was the best halftime show ever. Because right after it, Saints kicked an onsite. There you go. Hey, baby. Yeah, but the actual performance

It was Well, the halftime show Yeah, but last night I was like they finally figured it out You know, I didn't see a single commercial either During the game I was, I mean, I was running around I cooked the biggest plate of nachos

Well, they met her out Well, I thought, no, I thought I thought Coinbase was the most brilliant people I didn't make the money if it did Was that, oh no, was that the one with the thing bouncing around? With the QR code? And everybody was trying to, my whole family scanned it.

Yeah, it's like the cheapest Super Bowl commercial ever produced. Probably still cost them a lot, but the production value was It felt like it was a middle. It was like a screen tape. Yeah, it was like you were chasing around Windows 97 on your computer. Well, I think that's when I started to change channel. I said, what happened here?

What's going on? They did, they... I guess I lost the signal. They alienated the older generation. Yeah, the rest of us... Yeah, I started changing channel told me, oh, I got to find a signal with it. They didn't have lost signal. I couldn't get my phone out of my pocket fast enough to try to

figure, oh, what commercial am I missing on my phone? I was like, this is brilliant. And then it's like, sign up for Coinbase. You get $15 off. I was like, oh, crap. I ex-ed out. You got me. You tricked me.

I'm out. Size changing the channel. That's the first. Yeah. What did you eat? What did you eat? What did I eat? Chicken wings?

No, no, I didn't eat chicken wings. I had my wife. My wife had cooked me some ribs. Oh, okay. That and homemade potato salad. There you go. She ain't done that. I'm telling you, we ain't had potato salad.

We had chicken wings. Must be that purple shirt you've been wearing. Hey, whatever it was. Go to, hey, she cooked and looked, she had one of them six-quart borrowers full when she got finished. Yeah. Hey, it's gone. You ate six-quarts worth of potato? I'm telling you, we, me and her, we ate six-quarters of potato.

They got the recipe right. Hey, that night. He got the recipe. He's been trying to get that recipe right. Did you put any sweet and condensed milk in it? I don't know what you put in it in. It was a correct. I know that because, hey, we've finished off sick of court.

How old what did you eat? I ate chicken wings and them little old bitty ham sandwiches. The bite-side ham sandwiches. Yeah. What is the bread that's Hawaiian rolls? That's what I'm doing. That's what I made. I made pork and oil sliders.

And it had some kind of garlic spriters. Bread on butter. Yeah, garlic butter, yeah. Yeah, I made pork loin sliders that had jalapina cream cheese is like the mayonnaise or mustard, if you will. The sauce on the inside of the sandwich was a jalapeno cream cheese with barbecue sauce and just sliced porkloin. I made a plate of nachos to feed 20. And then we also fried crappie. There was only six.

Fried crappie. I fried crappie. I fried crappie. Yeah, but y'all ate it all, didn't you? I didn't I? If it was 20. Saturday night. Yeah.

We're having two conversations. Yeah, we are. He and Godwin talking about fried cropping. Oh, yeah. We're talking about nachos. Mine up from a habit. Hey, so I went to the grocery store yesterday. So you're welcome, Brooksers.

I restocked the chip aisle. There were no chips. No chip. What are you restocked? I saw, I needed tortilla chips. I looked up and saw some boxes that said Julio's. I know what those are. Those are the ones.

I reached up, brought them down, got my bags, put some more bags up. That's nice. There's a shortage of everything. I agree. I mean, Walmart got the whole place convinced to check out yourself. Yeah. I love that. Self-checkout.

Hey, we'll make them work for us. Yeah. They're going to pay us to bag of groceries. I like self-checkout, and I like restaurants with the screen where you can touch what you want. That's big time. Yeah. That's the world we live in these days. Let's take our first break.

We'll be back right after this. Right back. All right. look springtime is here it's warming up you know what that means that means more outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at tritels beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robinson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you

were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to him but with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need.

Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails Beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks.

Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. What's you going to surprise Ms. Christine with for Valentine? Valentine's a good question. Yeah. I mean, if she made you a big old thing of ribs and tater salad,

you could at least return a favor. What's you going to do for her? I'll probably just say, hey, go ahead and run that back. I got $500 out of my check account and transfer it to yours. Go get you something nice, baby. That would be easiest. Just to hang, just go ahead and transfer 500 from my account to yours. There's a lady up the road dancing with the sign when I pulled it up.

It said chocolate covered strawberries. Woo. 30 bucks a box. Hell, eat all them. That won't get home. I happen to enjoy strawberries, especially when they're dipped, you know, in chocolate. I tell you what I got, Brittany. Where did you get her?

A DeWalt skill saw. Find you a woman you can buy a skill saw. Now, what is she going to build with it? She wanted it. She's going to cut the legs off of Martin so it would be a little shorter. Now, she does like watching Dexter, so there may be something. into it, I don't know. No, that's what she wanted.

She wanted a skill saw? Battery powered. She wanted one she didn't have plug into the wall. I loved that woman the first time I met matter when he entered with it. I told you. I said, hey, you've done good, son. Now, you went to Tennessee and got you a good woman. In retrospect, those things are a little more expensive than I thought they were.

They're kind of like 50 cent. They've been going up. Yeah. Well, they ain't the expensive part. In batteries is what clip is. Yeah. Because I'm like, I ain't going to ever buy something with just one battery, so by the time you buy extra battery and charge her, yeah.

What does she make him? Like birdhouses? Yeah, she made a table last week. Well, but hey, the woman can build anything, son. I don't, she comes from a long line of woodworkers. That's right. That's a lot to build anything. My bride has, uh...

I need a piece of chunk of wood about this thick. A block. A block. How big? About that long. About that long. Three feet long. Maybe a little long.

I'm a man. I'm going to measure. Now, we ain't Tom Sanders. I mean, you can go buy you a block of wood. What do you need it for? You get that loads. I got me a stainless steel sink to clean them crapsies on. And it's got a lip on it about that tall.

Oh, you need to flush it out? Yeah. Oh, she can probably flush it out for you. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. That's what it's talking about. Yeah, she comes from a long line of woodworkers. How's a piece of wood going to flush your sink out?

Uh-oh. All right. Get it level. Get rid of the lip. So when he's clean it fish, it's on the head. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because I'm working in a pit right now.

You can't clean fish that way because you can't get your knife flat. Mm-mm. Yeah, you'd be looking soon. Dad, go. I won't have to scale the rest of this. Went through. So in other words, all you need to do, hey, go down by your cutting board. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that's what. Something about that thick. That he can move in and out. Yeah. Get his lip. I can slide from one sink to the other, cover one up. There you go. I knew what he's talking about, but I've cleaned a lot of fish.

Yeah, you don't clean no fish because you don't catch no fish. He catches fish. Whoop, whoop, who, who, whoa, who, back up on the catching part, son. He ain't cleaning them. I may not clean them, but I catch them. Trust me. He catches and eats. There it is.

What did you do? You went to Texas. You ain't even brought it up yet. Was it a guard? No. Oh, no. Oh, my exes live in Texas. At about, oh, do, do.

Oh. four hundred yards we're looking down to what is sandarral is it called of my bank yeah in brush country in south Texas south Texas and you see you see you see all you see is antler sticking it in the brush yeah and he's coming this way toward me awesome and then here comes one two three four and then that one that was that by four hundred joins these four about 200 yards away. Ah, nice. Everything's going your way.

Well, me and the boss are talking, and he said, well, all five of them are shooters. So picked on what you want. So it took me a little while to say, okay, let's see. So you was grocery shopping. Oh, yeah. I was talking about, okay, on aisle three. I like it.

Yeah, yeah. And I said, oh, wait a minute. He called it aisle three. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but he went to aisle four, one of them did, and he was walking this way. I said, yeah, I said, I think I'm going to take that. I said, but, you know, they're all in a big pile.

I said, I got to wait until he clears. What were they doing in a bigger big place? I guess, you know, the rut's over, so they all get back together in their bachelor pads. I got you. Yeah, but anyway, you know, he was walking away, and then he turned around and will come back and join the bunch. And he said, the one on the ride is the best-looking. him and as soon as he said he said the one on the right is the prettiest duck buck out there boom I got the one on the left yeah he jumps up he kicked real high no I got the one on the right

how far did he go about 15 yards he said the boss said I seen him fall I said all right good work there you go there is this a white tail now gave me my teeth have you not seen a picture uh oh he's a big oh he's a stud send me the photo and And that way we get. Hold on. Can we throw it up on the screen? 180? Yeah, that's a good.

Or is it a... No, it's good, bitch. Oh, he's pretty... He's a beautiful, well, 12th point. Awesome. I caught a fish this weekend. A fish? Mm-hmm.

On purpose. The big one? Oh, he wasn't bad. I snuck over and fished. This is a pretty... Fished Willie's pond. Oh, he's fished. That was at...

The fans will know where I was hunting. What was at the Three Eagles Ranch. Three Eagles Ranch. In South Texas, okay, and where I landed, the thing on the aviation building was L-I-G-E. And they pronounced it, I thank Alice. But I said, L-I-G-E ain't Alice. Alice is L-I-C-E. Hey, this is the greatest picture I've ever seen in my eye.

What in the world's not growing on your head? He's been there so long moss growing on his head. That is, hey, he's still in that purple shirt. My head ain't got. He's got a coon skin hat on. I'll put my coom skin hat on. Got his lemon juice. He's got lemon juice and it's got you on this lemon juice fad.

And he's on a private plane. He must trouble. Okay, to cut a lemon and squeeze it. Y'all, because I'm always going back cutting. But you never have done that. About the last two months you've been on. This is 100% lemon juice. So, hey, all I've got to do just squeeze the bottle.

Open up, squeeze the bottle. God bless America. That's all it is. And then here's his, there's his animal. Oh, he is nice. Oh, no, that's a nice book. A giant. Here's the coolest thing.

That gun big. One of the guys that works on the ranch without doing what he does working, and he walks across the pasture. The day before I shot this animal, okay, and he finds a shed. Well, guess what the shed, where the shed belongs? That thing's got some mad. Out on him. It was on him.

Last year? Last year. And look. Yeah, he's got way, I should have brought the shed. Yeah. It's way bigger. Wow. Okay, this year, he was five and a half years old.

There you go. But see, I've never hunted in the brush country. What are you doing? I was just checking for a... Hey, and the only thing I could think about was, wait a minute, in the 1800s, boys used to be on horses with saddles and riding through all that brush and was, getting all them longhorn steers out there and then doing trail drives with them

yeah yeah and I looked and I said hey I don't know how they got through the brush to get these steers yeah okay because it ain't it ain't much opening in it no they's tougher enough oh yeah you're talking about amazing hey look in everything in Texas hey it's easier going to bite you one way or the other stickers or whatever no yeah Nothing.

It always, you know, rough ain't the word. You come back from Texas all scarred up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How'd you, is that all you got, that big old boy? Well, no. Stone went for meat, okay? So he shot Axis dough.

Yeah, I don't know. And brought the back straps and all that back. You know, but we actually did go, both of us hunting for an Axis buck. Mm-hmm. But anything that's been chased by bingo tigers, they're pretty slick. Huh?

We never laid out. Where they live? Stone's shot. Their home range involves the Bengal Tiger. Yeah. See, where they came from, they grow up where they're chased by Bengal Tigers. They're slick.

Oh, no, yeah. Anything grows up and makes it where there's Bengal Tigers? Yeah, they're pretty slick because I never laid my eye. The idea, I'll take the tell the line. We had one I saw at the lodge when I was sitting there eating. I looked down on the pond and there was a dope. We never laid our eyes on an axis butt, and they got one down there that is probably six foot on each side.

He was a brute. Six foot? That's what we was going after, but we never saw him. He gone. Six foot's like a loose. No, he's just slick. He ain't gone. That sucker is just, you know, probably knocked a tunnel.

They ever start that barking at you? Did you ever hear any of them do that? No. Oh, yeah, they got a cool little sound. Have he? Well, let's take another break. We'll be back right after. Okay.

Now, Sai, you did, you realize why you were gone. All of our buddies at fish professionally were in this town. Yep. And you packed up and left. Hey, gone. Look, this was on the books. And they finally caught your fish. They sure did.

They finally did. Caught yours. What a dear way? 12 pounds and 14 ounces. Had an old white spinner bait in his mouth from 19. 1874. When they pulled him out of water, he said, he said, have I got a story for you?

He said, I pulled this old boy all around his palm growing up. I pulled him a mile. Where we, where he was? In a big circle. That's right, in a big circle until I come to that one log laying on the bottom of the lake. I just wrapped around it. One limb on it. And there went to spinner.

That's right. Forty-five-year-old bath. Flying back at me. Okay. Yeah. It was pretty cool to see the professional fisherman, though, in our town fishing these ponds. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Whop our rear end on a pretty daily basis, and then they come in and just show you the difference. On a cold front. On a cold front and show you the difference. In bad weather. Between professional and rookies. And a really good local angler.

Because they ain't ever been here for none of them. Then they show up and just strap them. So it's pretty impressive. That's a cool deal. Did y'all get any business off of that? Yeah, we've been busy. So you tell them when professional fishing tournaments come to your lakes, that's a good thing for business?

Oh, 100%. So y'all hear that folks. The folks around griping about that kind of stuff, that's what they come here for. They got it, they got to, number one, they've got to stay somewhere. Yep. Number two, they're probably going to need fishing baits. They got to eat.

Maybe, you know, got to have a restaurant to eat. Okay, so that's three places. Got to have gags and that. rocket ship they drive that's right then they got to have gas in a boat was a rocket ship no it's it's great for our town though because we get to watch people fish that are better than us by the way there's rumor that somebody was trying to prove some otherwise like while they were fishing cany sir don't do that

but they're better than us we get to watch them learn a few things and learn what they're catching them on and then I mean I heard Bussie break my boy Colby, he came by the store. It was like, man, there are 300 boats out there. And so it's getting people watch them, want to go try and do what they do. Exactly. And, you know, you might not be able to do what they do, but anybody can catch fish once.

Well, that and people that could never afford to go to Lake Fork or Lake Gunnersville, these places that all these fishing tournaments fish, fish. Now they can go fish where Kevin Van Damned fished. Yeah. Because it was his home pond. Here's the thing. Or Jacob Wheeler. Here's the thing.

They can't come in practice or nothing. I mean, they may have like a four-day tournament. They can practice a day. They generally have two days of practice. But like on Bussie, they had no practice. They wouldn't let them fish Bussie free. The first time, they let them ride around for four hours. You could ride around on it.

And just look. But just look. You could not make a cast. You couldn't do nothing. You're just looking. And then if you made the top ten, you went to go fishing. That's crazy. And you ain't ever put a, put a,

Put a cricket in the water yet. Galvin, while you were out at Bussy, you've met an old boy that hunts with us all the time, didn't you? No, that was just a comment. Them girls told me that there was an old boy that said he hunts a field. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is more of things that we hear all the time. I hunt will feel all the time. Yeah, every day.

You know who does? I said, that's awesome. Golly. Every day. You know who I never met this old boy? Yeah. Why? Why do people tell stories like that when you got Gawin sitting on the front of the boat?

Why? Just got. Well, I was just saying, if he's got a friend that really fishes over there, I want to talk to him because I've asked a question from the locals. Are there any big cheeky pens in? In Busset? Yeah. I ain't ever seen none.

Well, see. I don't know. He's not interested in. I don't know who he was. He wasn't my friend. That's not. And sigh, but he must have been yours because he hunts with you every day. Just ask him.

Huss with you every day. That's who you need to ask your friend over. Here's what else he did. He fished while he was there. There's 10 boats on Bussie. Bussie, 2,200 acres. So he's telling him about all this and he's fishing. And he catches a six-pounder right in front of another one in professional anglers.

Then that six-pounder would have made that guy another 15 grand probably. Which don't seem like that big of a deal, right? Professional angers make a good living. But when you only got eight chances to make money during the year, you need every dollar you can make. Well, hey, look, I've fished all my life. Yeah. That's a hard way to make a living.

Okay. And you were selling them. Yeah. That's what I'm, they have to turn them back in the water. Yeah, okay. Yeah, put it back. Yeah. Say what?

Folks, if you're listening at home or whatever, and you have a big tournament trail like that roll into you, hometown or somewhere close, go give it a whirl. Go experience. You'll be impressed. You will. And you're giving back to the community that you so dearly love because they're putting tax dollars back into this community.

And, you know, as a business, local business, I can't think of them enough. Like, I mean, I know this guy. Major League fishing, please come back to Darbone, Candy, and Bussie. Or for that matter. We appreciate it, the Honeyhole Tackle Shop. Or for that matter, MLF Big Five, Bassmasters. Any of, come on, bring it, son. I mean, we're here.

Yeah, we're here. We'll welcome you with open arm. And somebody once called us Sportsman's Paradise. It's on our license plate. All right. All right, we'll be back right after this. Guy, what you got coming up on the schedule? You got anything?

Man, Paula, is going to Minnesota. Minnesota? They're going to be cold up there. I figured out. He's going up there where it's ice. Yeah. Whatever happened to Minnesota. You're going to go ice fishing while you up here?

No. Amen. What? Amen. You ain't into ice fishing? No, I ain't going out there on that mess. No, I ain't doing it. Has I told you how to catch a polar bear?

That's right. The pee? Yep, you got to use the English peas. Yeah, they're sweeter. What about black eyews? Scatter them all along one edge. Mm-hmm. The polar bear smells, but he comes up there, you reach up and kick him in an ice hole.

Yeah. Galvin, do you have any wit and wisdom? You got any new little dad just? I hadn't heard one today. I just told you one about the pilgrims. Yeah, but we all knew that one. Why did the orange lose the race? Why, what?

Why did the orange lose the race? Hold on. The orange lose the race? Tangerine. Run out of juice. Run out of juice. I was fixed to ask who was he raced? This has become one of my favorite little, not segments.

I wonder who the orange was racing. Folks at home, send all your best bad jokes. Oh, no, please don't send. Johnny D. They all right he takes so much time to read. One-liner, boys. Yeah, just quick ones, just like that. Why did the orange loser race?

Somebody sent in like 20 this morning that I had to read. Did they really? Yeah, let me see. Did you save them? They sent him up. I want to give Guy one some new material. See if we can stump him. He stumps us all the time.

I still, I'm mad that y'all didn't like, oh, you weren't here. Hey, what a Kermit the Frog and John the Baptist have in common? Kermit the Frog and John the Baptist. I have no idea. They have the same middle name. The. Okay, I thought it was funny. The Reef.

They had the same middle name. John the Baptist and Kermit the Frog. John V. Carmitt D. Firmat D. We just had to get. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry, folks. It went on my head. It's so obvious. Yeah, he went on my head, okay. All right. Now, Darren from Saluda, South Carolina, he sent in a ton of them. Oh, we'll just pick one good one while we wait.

What? I don't even get that one. That's not a good one. If you... Uh-huh. Huh? I'm super confused. What's black and white and red all over?

Newspaper. That's one of them. I think he might have made these up. Or darn. If a bear has a problem walking in its shoes, would new balances help? Yeah. Absolutely. No, he should go barefoot.

That's it, boy. Oh, is that it? That's on the one. he was asking, hey, when you give a bear socks and shoes, is he a bear? Is he still a bear? Well, here's a good one. If you drop a bar of soap on the floor, does the soap get dirty or does the floor get clean? This boy's been in them Chuck Norris joke.

How come the alphabet's in that order? Made it that way? Is this the ABC's? Because of that song? A, B. B. It wouldn't make no sense if it was H.J. K M-N-O-P.

I know it. Yeah, there you go. Elemento-P. That's my favorite thing my daughter does right now. She says K-K-L-M-N-O-P. Oh, by the way, I will say this. My hat's off to y'all just raised kids. What?

Because I kept Jacob Williams. Oh, yeah. You sure did. Oh, yeah, a little glimpse. So I had a toddler and an infant. Oh, that's nothing. Infant, a dream. He took like a four or five-hour nap right there in the middle of the day.

Toddler. How old? Three. Three? Buddy. I guess terrible three is okay. Buddy. Okay.

Yeah. Buddy. Let me drop my three off at your house. That's what I'm saying. My hat's off. I have a newfound respect. Yeah. Okay.

If he's, that's why I asked, how. Here's where I ended up with Olivia, his three-year-old. She's running around my yard and nothing but her diaper because by God, that's what she wanted to do,

and I couldn't change her mind. You ain't, no. She ain't no, she ain't no, she ain't no, she ain't, No, it was, and she fleeced me out of every piece of candy, snack, everything I had in that house to try to get her to take a nap. Guess what she didn't do? Take a nap.

Yeah, that's out. Well, you give her sugar. Well, hey, you know what, though? I've seen all of season four of Gabby Dollhouse. You didn't watch Fancy Nancy? She wanted to watch Gabby Dollhouse. Trust me, she let that be known at the top of her lungs. That's what she wanted to watch.

Hey, whatever she wants to do, that's what she said to do. And I fed her a highly nutritious meal of hot dogs and mac and cheese because that's what she wanted. That's what. I watched an episode of Fancy Nancy this morning. Yeah, it was. I can know, I know when Jake, come back to his kids, take them terrible things away. Yeah. No, kids don't wear clothes, though.

No. Why do kids, my five-year-old, when you go pick him up from Sunday school, he's got his socks and shoes off. And I'm like, well, at least he kept his pants on. Yeah. But when he comes home from school today, guaranteed we walk in the door and he's in the kitchen, he will be in underwear only before he hits the living room. It's incredible. No, no, well, hey, look, kids are picking freedom.

I was that way. You're still that way, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. Why do kids not work? No, no, you're right there. Look, when I was in the military, kind of changed several a bit. everybody was always saying you need to go behind the iron curtain

and I always said no and I really didn't know why I said no until I went to share the gospel with the man in prison in Oklahoma I don't want to go nowhere that someone else

sticks a key in an iron door and turns it behind me you don't want to be locked up so you're just like a kid in that that respect Now I realize why I said, no, I don't need to go behind the iron curtain. Yeah. My freedom's too dear to me.

I don't want nobody else have a key locking me in anything. Yeah. So, yeah, I understand kids. But that infant will keep you trapped because you can't do nothing while. I mean, he just, he's just there sleeping. So he trap you. You can't trap him. Let me tell you a little secret.

What? Benadryl. Benadryl. melatonin gummies now see we gave her some melatonin that night because she hadn't bed to sleep she passed out about 645 slept till about 645

the next morning 12 hours of that good sleep if you get a kid you just teach them to sleep at night that's the win yeah and Martin just so you're aware three kids twice as many as two yeah the math the math is not it's not

exponential it's not summation yeah it's exponential if I had four I'd be hiding under Yeah, Brittany cut them eyes at me after they left. I said, get away from me. Don't you come nowhere around me. Hey, that's what them deals, okay? Maternal instincts. Yeah.

Well, the paternal instincts say, get away from me. You had a toddler, one that you could have in your arm, got to have you up. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, like he said, get away from me. Yeah. You need some alone time. Don't you look over here. That's right.

Don't even look at me. No, I need some quiet time. It's been too loud up in this house. I need some alone time. True story. Right here. I go home a week ago. Last Monday.

My kids are kind of being crazy. We're getting into bed. I look at my wife and said, hey, make out Mondays. And she goes, me time Mondays, do whatever you want. And so I said, all right. I'm going to text my friend, see what they're up to. High five. Coming in hot on war zone, boys.

He said, you're on your own and the sun goes down about six. Yeah. Go watch basketball. Oh, or something. Yeah. Oh, that's why my hat. You always talking about, you know, my hat's off to you. Hey, that's why my hat's off to any woman that becomes their mother.

Yeah, amen. Especially, you know, what they go through, delivering it. And then they say, they come in and tell them their man, hey, I'm ready for another child. What? You won't do that again? Have you lost your mind? You're going through that again? How about seven, eight, nine, ten times?

Well, my house off to all parents, period, regardless of sex, especially the moms. Yeah. And especially to single parents after experiencing that. Oh, no. I was like, your boy ain't ready. Your boy still is. For the people who have emailed in, and I never wanted to put Martin on the spot of Martin, are you going to have kids anytime soon?

There's your answer. Your boy, your boy. Your boy ain't ready. Your boy ain't. Your boy was still just like... Well, nobody's ever ready. No, I know. And that's where we're at on that

to answer that question on the email. Oh, we're going to answer it. Well, I mean, here's what I... That might have slipped. I don't think you can say that we're trying. Well, I guess you are trying if you're not preventing. Let's put it that way. So if the good Lord decides it's time, then it's time.

It's time. But we ain't forcing it. All right, well, let's take our last break. We'll get in that inbox and we get back after this. All right, we're back. Hey, I got the coolest thing. What? I got a letter from a young man, and I'm horrible with names,

and I apologize to the young man. Anyway, he said, thank all of us, okay, because he came to the Lord through the podcast. Wow. Okay, and then, okay, he worked on his boss and converted his boss, and they both have come to the Lord. Wow, he's the Lord. So, hey, I thought that was really cool.

I apologize, guys, again, for not remembering your name, a young man. That's good. That's awesome. That makes you wonder why we sit in this chair and ramble on about nothing. That is exactly why we do. That's the good part of it. Well, Johnny D, what's in that inbox?

Hello at duck callroom.com. That's the email address. For all y'all that ask, I try to make sure that we put it out there every time. Hello, H-E-L-L-O at dot callroom.com. Johnny D, where are we at? That's right. What's the fan? Well, I just, I had a Bible verse I was going to read, but your story just changed that up, I think.

It's gone. It's gone. We'll save it for another time And now I'm all over the place Alright First email on the day Drew That's your brother-in-law ain't

And my best friend But not that one Another Drew Another Drew Flying Asian carp Ugh nah Hate them Tried to cook them

And they turned out terrible Do y'all really eat them nasty things They make great cat food They also go well in crawfish traps That's what you use So a little one is good catfish bait. There you go. He's a lot of things.

Yeah, but other than that, table fair. I don't think he's edible. No, he's like that hard rock candy. Just to look through. Yeah, he ain't for eating. Just to look through. Just for looking through. That's right.

Just looking at. That's all of you. Moving on from that, that was just a quick one. Here's what I'll tell you and how you know they're not very good table fare. If they were, there wouldn't be a population problem. because the rednecks would have done figured that out. All right. All right.

Here we go. Number two. Where does his name go? Jared from Delaware, Ohio. He went to Jerry. Is that a place? Sure. I don't know.

There's a place in Ohio somewhere. I thought Delaware was a state. Delaware is a state. Apparently there's a city. Yeah, but this is a town. All right. Delaware, Ohio. I wouldn't want to be from Texas, Louisville.

Louisiana. That's all I'm saying. All right, Delaware, Ohio, 28-year-old worship leader, Jared, new father of Elena, two months old. Congratulations. You just heard Martin terrify you when she's going to be three years old. What would you say is a good starting age for hunting? Not two months. Thinking probably introducing her things over time. That's the right way. What do you think? Thanks, friends. Absolutely. Start it, keep it fun. But the first, I mean, the cool thing is there's so many. many avenues now that you can introduce her into. It's not even, I mean, you got TV, you got the internet, you got little video games that kind of keep it a little bit of fun, but really just outside walking or do a lot of good for it.

I mean, because at the end of the day, she may not want to hunt, but she may love the outdoors. She may want to fish. She may want to do that. So start small, whatever you do, don't force it. If you ask her, if you want to go hunting or fishing and she says no, then figure out something else to do with it. Yeah. Don't force it. Do not make hunting.

It depends on your daughter or your son. Okay. But just keep. I remember taking Johanna deer hunting when she was, golly, little, little, little. Oh, yeah. I was going deer hunting with my grandparents when I was like three, two, and three, and I'd just go, I wasn't hunting.

I'd lay, but I just wanted to go out in the woods, and they said if you'll go be quiet, you can go with us. And I'd just go getting a deer stand and go sleep. I'd get in a box stand, curl up in the bottom of it, go to sleep. I didn't have the ability to be quiet for that long. Oh, I do. I got a lot of quit in me. Take some toys and...

Well, now you've got iPads and headphones. You can keep them entertained and quiet. I mean, I hunt with Ben's kids, and they're ages 3 through 9. And, you know, the 3-year-old, if you got snacks and an iPad, she'll hunt all day with you. Yeah, yeah. Like... I will, too. All day.

And she'll actually get into it, and then she'll stop and she'll do her thing when she'll gets a little bored. You got to see the same way. You've got to have snacks too. Oh, yeah. Oh, that snack well don't ever run dry over here. I've been there. On Saturday, I took my boys and we play baseball, then we go fishing.

Then when they get bored with that, we go to a different pond and go fishing. Then we go back to baseball. So it was just, it was never, hey, we're going to sit here and fish until you're tired of it. That's about 30 seconds. Buy them some minors they can play with. Buy them some crickets. They're my offspring. Yeah.

So it's a quick attention span. So just have fun with it. Absolutely. Never. And when they get tired, leave. Mm-hmm. Don't force them to stay. When they get tired, go.

Get out of there. Roll. So that's my advice. That's what I've seen work anyways. There's a non-parent who takes a lot of kids hunting. Martin's surrounded by kids. I am. That's why I don't need it yet.

You don't need any of you own yet. Yeah, I can send them home. I'm the fun uncle. I'm the fun uncle. There's right. There you go. I've learned from Si how to do that. The fun uncle, baby.

Right, next one. Cody from Washington State. This is kind of a deep one. He was wondering, how do y'all stay positive all the time? Like I tried to, but six years ago when his grandpa passed, he got closer to God, but now he's kind of lost himself and lost a lot of hope and a lot of things. Any ideas on how to stay positive? Wow. That's a deep one, Cody.

And, you know, you get a very short snippet of us is what I would say. We seem real positive in here, but, boy, would that be terrible entertainment if we were all negative and blah. But sometimes you do go through tougher times is what I'd say. You do. And you just got to walk through it. We got a church family or a family that helps us through stuff. Yeah. And each other, yeah.

Yeah. But, you know, it's peaks and valleys. Oh, every one of them. And I think a lot of that comes from the way you approach it, the mindset at which you approach life. You know, I've been asked this a lot of times, and you've heard the old cliche of instead of asking why I ask why not, you know, and quit focusing on what's here

and focus more so on what's to come and all that. So you can stay positive if you do little things like that. And I mean, at the end of the day, man, we win. at the end of the day we win. I guess it's one thing. Jesus wins. Jesus is already born. I guess with me it's a deal about, okay,

in and of myself, can I change what I'm going through? That's the question I ask myself, can I really do anything with this? Everybody's worried right now about global warning. They say the ice glaciers are melting and all this stuff. Well, here's my question. about that can you stop that little human being no so why would you let it bother you agree you know what i'm saying if you can't change you know no your limitations

control what you can control yeah which is very little by the way you have no that's very little that's true but you know what you can control your mindset because the only thing What you can really do, okay, is I can control what, how I act, how I react. Other than that, you know, it's a, there's something bigger out there that may help me. And here's what I tell you, too, surround yourself with positive people. If you see people like that, that you admire their positivity, get around them. Yeah. Because that will rub off on you.

I mean, look at this crew I'm surrounded with. I mean. We're a bunch of positive patterns. Absolutely. I'm not going negative, okay, because negative will, you know. It's exhausting. Well, it's like going to kind of rope around you, okay, with a big, heavy weight behind you. That's why I'm, it's exhausted.

You've got to drag it everywhere you go. I ain't going to be there. Absolutely. I'm going to cut the rope. Okay. And one of my best friends not in here, Jacob Wheeler, you want to talk about somebody that's positive? That boy right there, unbelievable. But if you surround yourself with people like that,

you become a product of your environment. Hey, I'm like old Donald Thurland in the movie Kelly's Heroes, when he was always telling his tank driver. Moriachi, you're always in the negative, man. Have a little faith, baby. Have a little faith, baby. That's right. Have a little faith, baby.

We're going to do it. Anytime a man in a pearl snap tells you to have a little faith, you got to just roll it. That's it. I have a little faith. I'll tell you. That's good. All right.

You want to send us out of here? Oh, well, I got a question to answer. You said you had a Bible verse until I told about the young man. Yep. I'm going to get to. I got a Bible verse. Okay, I want to know. Go ahead and read about my verse.

First, Jeremy from Greenwood, Indiana, he made a website. Duckcallroom. Dot us birds with a Y.com. He logged every Bible verse we've ever done. And I've always been afraid, like I'm running the same one over and over again. We're not. We've done it a couple of times. But if you want to go there and you look back and it's like, hey, episode 77, we did Luke, 9, 6, and 7th?

I was like, that's really cool. So, Jeremy, I just want to give you a shout out on the actual podcast instead of just an email. Thank you for this. I'm going to use it. And anybody wants to look at it. Go check it out. So your story got me thinking. A guy turned his life around and told somebody else around.

Last night we watched the Super Bowl, right? Yep. How many people watched that? Millions. Millions. How many people were in the same? 100,000. Crowds were erupting, right?

Yeah. I've been to a lot of Saints games. It's the best, like when they score a touchdown and 70,000 people are screaming. Emotions high. That's how I like to have fun. I want to have fun with 69,000 other people. That's a lot of fun to me. But I always think about this Bible verse.

Luke 157, and this is Jesus Christ. from Nazareth saying this, I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous people who do not need to repent. When I think about rejoicing in heaven

and what we see in like a football state, the Super Bowl, like yeah, we all watch last night, it was cool. But think about it, when the two dudes you're talking about turn their life around, the Super Bowl crowd does not even compare The noise. The noise that went on.

Yeah. That happened in heaven. How cool is that stuff about it? That fires me up. Woo! The hair on my whole body is kick. Like how that's done it's been plugged in, boys. Yeah, that's all I did.

That was a good one, son. That's good. Yeah, I've been thinking about that for the last two days. And then when you said that, I was like, that's the first of the day. Because it really is. We get fired up. And we think of this world has things to offer that are cool. We just think we're fired.

Heaven's going to be, I mean, it's going to be Drew Brees throwing out of those. Downs to Marcus Colston on steroids. And think about that. All them people up there rejoicing over little old me, little old you. That's pretty awesome. The whole place goes wild, and the crowd goes wild. And the crowd goes wild. That's pretty awesome.

We'll see y'all next time right here in the duck cover. We're out. That heaven's got a car. That was actually a great one, boys.