Duck Call Room - The One Thing You Never Say to Phil Robertson

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Uncle Si says he doesn’t shoot the big bucks because they aren’t as good to eat, but Martin and Jay Stone know the real reason. Stone takes Si and BK on a youth and veteran deer hunt and reveals the secret to tender, juicy deer steaks. He also shares the one thing you never say to Phil. Si tells the hilarious story of what happened to the persistent vacuum salesman who wouldn't stop pestering his mom. And Stone delivers some cold, hard truths when John-David tosses him questions about how to stay motivated to work out and what to eat to lose weight. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Say, you missed your workout this morning, huh? Well, hey, I'll get it done today. That's what I'm talking about. Hey, no wasted time in here. Everybody's always saying, why don't y'all work? Look at the man. He working on his grip, he's peddling. He brought weights?

He brought John David some weights. That's a good day. But you were struggling yesterday, wouldn't you? Yeah. You was, wouldn't you? Yep. What did you do yesterday? Well, me and Stone and Ms. B.K.

went deer hunting. Did you? Yeah. All I saw, I didn't see the deer. Clint saw the deer. He was behind and lower behind the feeder. Clint's a cameraman. He didn't come up, or the deer didn't come up.

Then, a little later I looked and hear something, and we've seen each other at the same time. Because as soon as he's seeing me and I've seen him, he done one of these numbers and he was gone. What was it? Coyote, about 150 yards. I would have popped him too if he had... I thought you was going to say 150 pounds.

No, 150 yards. He was all the way down the end of the opening in the woods. And as soon as he's done that, he saw me, I saw him. He was out of here, everybody. He knew better. Yeah, you talk about it quick. From one mangy old dog to another. Yeah, that was in a ground line too, okay?

I can't believe he saw me. And that's 150 yards away. Hey. But if you don't move, they're not. If you don't move, they can't see you. Well, hey, I call myself not moving, but hey, he saw something because he left there and in a hurry. Unreal.

But hey, here's what I got for the fans that listen to this podcast. Okay. Oh. And this has got to be real. Okay. Not make, believe, okay? What is it? Instagram us or what is it?

Email. Email. Email. Tell me what you want and I'll tell them how to do it. Instagram or Facebook or whatever to us and let us know. How many worlds are they that the human race has to put up with? How many worlds? How many worlds?

I'll give you two. Hold on. W-O-R-L-D-S, worlds. Yeah, worlds. Okay, I'd make sure you weren't saying worlds. Yeah. So how many worlds does the human race have to be? to deal with.

Deal with. Okay, and I'll give you two. One of them is the physical. You can actually touch it. Okay. Okay. And see it. And actually pick it up and feel it.

Okay. And the other one is unseen. The microscopic world. Now, you come up and tell me how many more we got. Do you know? No, but this was what I hit my wife in my, My lady that's taken care of my wife, lives, with this morning. I walked out on the porch.

They was out there sitting and enjoying the cool weather early in the morning. And I said, y'all are two intelligent people. Well, they both laugh and said, he's been thinking again. So we're in trouble. And I said, how many worlds do we humans have to deal with? So physical that you can see and microscopic. Microscopic. Microscopic.

That you can touch, but you can't see. Then I'll give you a. No. Okay. We're up to three. And it may be two or three. What about the spiritual world or you might even call it the religious world? And that's where humans have a lot of trouble with, okay, is this religious world.

So I could, side putting together a sermon. Oh, no. Is that what we're doing? Yeah, that's what we're doing. And I'm going to get the fans to help. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah.

Well, hey, he's like an old old dog. He ain't as dumb as he looks. So the ceremony's going to be an average bear, as your yogi bear would say, him and boo-boo. So you're looking for more worlds? Yeah. How many worlds? How many worlds does a human race have to put up with? Spiritual.

Spiritual. And there's the one that the Black Panther lives in, imaginary. I was fixing to say. Nope. I knew that was coming. I knew that the Black Panther. It's got to be real. And the boys.

They're in that imaginary. Them boys you always talking to. Is that? They're in that. imaginary. Easy. I'm trying to think. I think you covered them all.

So we're at four. No. No, there's more. That's bound to be more. Because I give you a show that we used to watch on television. It was called Quantum Leap. I don't think that's real. Well, I just tell you.

It was on TV. It was on TV? Can't you believe everything on TV? Yeah, I do. Uh-huh. I love it. I love it. Okay.

I'm so confident. Oh, what about the real world? There's like 25 of them. Like the show on interview? Hey, that's why I'm telling you, hey, I just want to see what we're going to come up with. Oh, so you're just like, tell us anything. I just want to see what everybody comes up with. Well, I'll read them all.

Hello at Dot Callroom.com. That is. Or you can comment down below in this video if you have any thoughts on how many worlds that we have to deal with. And look, I do want to hear from you. there you go what you think uncle sign a request next time we film get here early and I'll just start reading to you yeah um yeah

and we're still working out but I think you left out some pretty important things about your deer hunting why you why you feel the need to work out today what else have well hey I wasn't on help don't say hey old man come on me give me hand putting these deer on the four wheeler what deer we haven't heard about the deer yet

I thought we don't cover that no I'll start let me start Let me start from the beginning. Well, start it off. Well, this week in the state of Louisiana, veterans and youth are allowed to use rifles for one week. That's the only group that can use them, which was very nice. Of the state. And deserving.

And deserving. Yeah. Yep. So this is a week that I always look forward to, or me and Uncle Si and Boer Frog, can do a little deer hunting. But the way it turned out yesterday, the stand that we were going to required about a 400-yard walk. And I'm out. So, and I couldn't drive to the stand because the deer were pretty close in the area. So I had to put Si somewhere else that I could drive him to.

So you guard him. I guard him on accident. Hard gone. Now, I would not say that I guard. hardhold him on purpose. But what? Si I've been dealing with getting gar hold his whole life. Finish him to the dog, boys.

It was a super nice setup, though. Nice ground blind, comfortable chair. And, uh, just the deal wasn't moving in my area. It was with a feeder. About 75 yards away. But when I got in my stand, I remembered that I set that feeder to go off in the evenings and not the mornings.

So that's why you didn't see nothing. He got a big deal. He guard you. I enjoyed it. He banished you to the ground. It was an accident. But I enjoyed it. An accidental guard.

Anytime that I'm out in creation. That's right. I have a good time. And you got to talk to Clint for the first time. That's it. You spent a morning with our newest employee. Oh, yeah. And I think that you did a marvelous job with your job interview on that boy.

He's a winner. Anyways. Yeah, because Stone would have been sure enough hurting if Clint hadn't been. So. Because the M. BK, that's loaded. them dear. Oh man. They're biggings, as your boy says. But

we were sitting there and I've been watching these old bucks on camera. And I had them patterned pretty good. And lo and behold, 715, looked up, there's a big one standing in the road. A bullfrog popped him. 6.5, creep more.

But that wasn't the one I wanted to shoot. And I would say 30 minutes later, the one I was wanting her to shoot came out and then old dad got in on some of that action and I popped me one so two old bucks them are both about six years old oh are older are older they're old as the hills those are good mature north Louisiana trophies right there that's uh that that that yesterday is the day that I'll never forget and I know I know that little girl won't forget it either with the oldest buck there in the back that's right the oldest buck in the back he's long in the tooth

old coal himself there he is yeah and that that right there look at that smile on his face that's what makes it all work that's legit happiness though no no that's fun to see that's a deer hunt yeah okay she's my dear she's my deer hunting partner okay what about stone huh now stone's just a guy I just drop him off he's just a guy for me a big cat yeah He just had to be her dad. Well, hey, look, that young lady right there is a hunter, okay. She is a fisherman or fisherwoman, okay. She's a cook.

That little girl right there cooks me pancake every time I eat the stone when they invite me for a meal. Pancakes? I go home with a home. Pound. Pound cake. Pound cake. Sour cream pound cake. Yeah.

But it's just, you know, that's my hunting partner, my fishing partner. And she's going to make some lucky man a great wife. He's going to be real lucky to get past me. Yeah. If he can make it. If he could get past death. Through the seven layers of.

But that is, that is pretty awesome that a father. and a child, whether it be son or daughter, have the chance to punch a tag on the same day. Same day. In the same stand and get to high five and hug and celebrate and all that together. And then when you got your crazy old great-uncle, or great-great-uncle behind you as BK would have,

I mean, look, that picture. That's a picture. That folks at home is what the outdoors is all about. Right there. That picture right there is why we do it. That's it. It is price. It is.

You can't put the price tag on that. You can't put a price on what we do and the fun we have about there. Yeah, an inside story. It's been four years of managing and working that land to get to the point where we can see older deer. And this is the payoff. Yeah. That's all worth it. Okay.

And I'm going to get mine. And that hunt. Oh, yeah. I ain't got him yet, but I will get one. He'll get his. And that hunt right there got side of having to work on his QB. day during this show. So look, we're going to take our first break.

We'll be back. And I am too. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here.

And that's what because of our friends over at Triedales beef makes such a good product, ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef comes from but with tritails beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way try tails comes from a family ranch out in texas they're a fifth generation american ranch so they've been

at it for a while now look the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire. That's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat me. She isn't a big meat, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. that's try beef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Hi, and we're back.

Look, stall and I know that had to be the best day deer hunting you've had ever to this point. I'm sure they're going to be more like it, but I know the question right now, all the fans in the bottom, the comment bag,

they're going to want to know what you going to do with them things. Well, here we go. In this case, I'm going to get me a knife and fork ready. In this case, we're dealing with large old animals, and large old animals tend to be on the tough side. And there are certain times of year, they can be a little musty. Just like Sae.

Siah mid-December, it's pretty musty. Tough and musty. Oh, boy. So what I like to do in Louisiana, this is. You got to have a walk-in cooler to do this. I cut the head off of them, gut them, clean them out real good. And then I hang up the carcass for 21 days. With the skin on.

With the hide-on. Okay. And what that does... Guts missing, hide on. That's right. What that does is break down a lot of that tissue. Because when you shoot a deer, if you can imagine, every muscle in his body is going to lock up.

Cortico steroids are released by the brain. Physiological response. Hashtag learning. Can't be help. Can't be stopped. I'm just telling you. That's what happened. That's what happened.

It's just stress. I knew there was a scientific turn. Oh, yeah. So that happens. So what you got to do is you've got to give that muscle time to relax. and that normally takes 21. You can age them up

because they on the beef steaks they age them things up to what many of 60 days? Months. Yeah, even months. But by leaving the hide on it and that protects the outer layer

of the meat. So once you pull that hide off now you look inside that rib cage it's going to be nasty. It's going to be green and black mold inside that rigged, but that's what you walk. That just means to say, okay, it's time to take that eye out of. That means he's ready. Yeah, he's ready to cut it up.

And you would not believe what that venison looks like underneath that hide. That is the prettiest deer meat you'll ever lay your eyes on. And then you cut that backstrap out, it'll have the texture of a beef tenderloin. Just soft. Soft, soft to the touch, as opposed to if you cut it out right when you kill it. It's, yeah, it's got firmness, real firm. That's right. So on an older animal like that one, if you want tender, juicy stakes, that's the way you got to do it.

You've got to age that animal. Or he'll be tough. And you can cheat the system a little bit, folks. If you're listening, you ain't got to walk in cooler. You don't have these luxuries. You can clean him whenever you harvest your animal. And then you can put him in ice and a little bit of sun. salt in a cooler and continuously change the ice and water for a couple of weeks or something.

And it's the same kind of principle because you're giving that muscle time to relax and all that. So if you don't have a walk-in cooler and you're not able to hang them and dry age them at 34, 36 degrees, you know, like there are ways around it. So that's just for you folks that don't have the means in the walk-in cooler. With Martin being a biologist, okay, educated biology, he's an educated man. Now, hold on. I ain't no food scientist.

Well, no, but I'm just saying, hey, you are, okay, and this is biological stuff, okay, because the molecules in the meat are breaking down. That's why they loosen up and become tender. Yeah, yeah, you just. So this is, this is physics. In a not so pretty way, you're performing a controlled rot. Yeah, yeah, no, no, that's what it boils down to. Yeah, that's what it boiled down to.

That's what it is. But that, that's the way I do. it. Now, another way you can do it is wet age it. It's when you cut it out, put it in a vacuum-sealed bag, and then put it in a refrigerator and shut the door and don't open it for two, three weeks. It's called wet aging. That's what they do with beef at grocery stores. And for a lot of you folks that are sitting at home, said, boy, I've had a wild game, and it ain't ever no good. It ain't ever. Just no odds are the people who fed you that

did not handle the meat properly. Because if you handle it property from Kiel to Harvard, to eat. That's right. It is one of the best things you'll eat. There's no gaminess. There's no, none of that. That's just a, that's a myth. You just, it was handled poorly.

That's why when you, like, you fish, okay, the best tasting fish you'll ever eat is it is you catch it, you filet it on the boat you're on, and you fry it that minute. That is. Same thing with deer. Shoot a yearling deer. hey skinning him out fried deer snakes immediately we just said wait three weeks that's just the opposite of what i just well no well that's right but he prefaced it with yearling yearling so i did say yearling okay and what he means folks is a phone that's right not a yearling so that i would say the deer hunting at the robertson land

for years. Sustinance. It was all about eating. If it's brown and eating. It's all about down. Now, they saw a big buck. They wouldn't shoot it

because he was too big. Well, here's why I don't shoot them normally. There's too much work. And he makes a lot of racket and a big buck don't get around him that often. That's right.

Well, for years I smoke. You're not going to kill bucks if you smoke. okay because they're a little too smart for that that's his wind checker oh yeah he's always making sure that win was at his name that's the reason you always see him out there standing about 300 yards way and they they got that nose up okay he's checking to see if there's anything funny going on how long how long's feel had that property down there ah he's i think he started acquiring it the same year he started making duck calls okay he may have a couple of years before 85 yeah i mean

Well, he started the duck calls in 72. He probably didn't start on the land until the early 80s. Well, he started buying a little bit. Yeah, it's been 40 years. Yeah, 40 years probably is a fair assessment. So I would say their deer management practice for 40 years. That wasn't no deer management practice for 40 years. Was shooting nothing but yearlings.

Fawns and yearlings. That's right. Preferably a button head. Yeah, because the. The button heads for some reason are more tender than the dough yearlings. I'm just telling you by experience, okay? A buttonhead tastes better than a yearling dough. False.

Okay. That is experience speaking. This folks is a look into the mind of a Robertson. I'm telling you. Oh, no. The only family on the planet. You're going to the beyond, son. this never been explored before.

Oh, man. So when Willie was talking to me about managing the deer down there and I was talking to other people, it soon became clear that this was going to be like that movie with Tom Cruise, you know, was Mission Impossible. But you've done it. We pulled it off. Well, we have done it. But it took us and we lost two of our best deer.

Yeah. Okay. Because of the. of the Mission Impossible part of the There's a guy there who likes to sabotage. Well, that's because

y'all made one fatal mistake. You told Phil Robertson not to do so. Well, no, no. Well, we just said, hey, we would like to keep these two. That's what I'm, which basically, you know what he hears?

He hears, don't shoot him. But then, so when he hears, don't shoot him. Our first thing, I'm going to do it. Well, the first thing, as a matter of spite to prove to you that I'm still the landowner, he's going to go kill. Well, no.

Let me. Let me correct you on that. And you don't want Phil hunting you. No. No, let me correct you on that. I'm just telling you. Let me correct you on that. I have never one time in my life ever told Phil Robertson not to do or to do something, anything of that matter.

All I did was show him a picture. I showed him a picture and I said he's really going to be something in a year or two. And he looked at it. Well, guess what? He's riding out around a pole with her with some hand. It says, yeah. He's his legs.

Oh, that's a deer. It's deer hair. Shoot it. Yeah. So that's how that works. He knew what he was doing. Oh, yeah. But he heard that.

He heard that. He heard. How do I scald old stone? That's it. That's the way things are. But the problem is if you try to scald field, you just get banished. That's right. Don't ever do that.

You end up like the other film. Oh, no, I'd never in my wildest dreams tell Phil Robertson, he can't do something. Oh, I love it. Because he will do it. Oh, that's right. Spike. You don't want him to do something? You tell him not to do it.

If you want something done, tell him not to do it. That's right. Because I've seen on hundreds of occasions where Jace would tell Phil he shouldn't do this. And guess what happened? He does it. Oh, yeah. Cutting that tree at the helm hole. Yeah.

sigh you're going to turn this place into a rice field don't you cut it next thing you heard was a chainsaw oh yeah timber oh that was a good one there all right let's take another break we'll be back right after this you know every year well the last last year bullfrog went up to Jeff's place in Arkansas

kill that big 13 point and I know you told me before that you would like to see that but his stand requires about a thousand yard walk, but we have come up with a solution. Oh, uh-oh. They've worked it out. Do you know what a rickshaw is?

Yeah, that's a pedal bicycle with a... No, no, no, no, no. No, you just don't long for the ride, man. Yeah, there ain't no pedaling. Stone going to be pedaling. I ain't going to be pedaling. I'm going to be walking, but I'm going to... Oh, yo.

I'm going to pick it up. Like a person wheelbarron. That's right. Oh, wrong way. Boom. There it is. Hey, they're coming up with this. That's a friend.

Yeah. That is a good friend. Hey, I can make you... That will do that to take me, huh? I can make you a trailer hitch for my electric bicycle. And you can just drag you. I got to drag me. I got a trailer that I pulled my kids behind it on a bicycle.

Well, it fit on mine? Because Stoney ain't going to be with a pedal side. That's tough now. No. I'm on walk with it. Hey. I'm interested. The man says it isn't shape enough that he can walk it.

I told Jeff. Jeff won't side of the side. This stand we're talking about. It's probably the greatest. Oh, no, yeah. This is a hotel. Deer sit. Yeah, this is a hotel like in Arkansas.

So I want you to experience. So we got us a rickshaw being made. Oh, it's currently being made? That's right. And I'm on rickshaw you in. I love it. To the deer stand. You got to realize.

Well, you can watch. Watched bullfrog pop one of them. That's it. One M.B. All I can see. Here's the best part of this. Okay, really. Father and daughter and an uncle.

Okay. Get to get in a deer stand. Okay. And look. Via Rickshaw. She shoots one. Okay. Well, it's a big buck, dough, whatever.

Okay. Me and Stone are high-fiving and talking about great shot and this and that. And that little lady right there sitting over, she's done put her gun on safety, put it back down. and then kind of just okay now we're going to have to wait you know

are y'all going to shoot one you know ice no hey the girls got ice in her veins that that robertson blood is thick in her I'm telling you

ice in them back oh no she'd be a good NFL that's why I love to go with because when we're fishing you know you don't have to worry about her she's fixed strap you okay and mainly

she's going to strap me. Because the first thing when they come up and pick me up at 8 o'clock, she's got this goofy little grand she's got on. I said, mm-hmm, yeah, that's just what I thought. Like a possum passing a peach city? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he said, oh, yeah, BK killed her a big 6-point. And if they told me I didn't hear it, then when we're going up there and something, well, wait a minute. Stone said, wait a minute, what are you talking? I said, well, that's it. You know, you got the 6th point. He said, yeah, but hey, Dad got in on this, too. I got me a big 10 point laying over there and we got to go get.

I pulled off the side. I got to get buying too. Yeah. And I said, yeah, I said, y'all both ain't worth the flip. I said, y'all put me on a garhole and you all killed the big buck. I said, no one of y'all wouldn't have been going to go with you. That's why he's making a rickshaw so you can get there. That's right.

I'm trying to make it up to you. But you're going to get yours. Trust me. We're going to get you. I hear a rickshaw and all I think about is sidefield. whatever, Kramer and Newman made that rickshaw. We're going to start the rickshaw business in New York City. You got to love this.

Hired the homeless people that took all their rickshaws. I didn't see that. Oh, man, it's good. But anyway, that's the plan. We'll go to tow you in there on a rickshaw. Please put a GoPro on him. Oh, no. Oh, hey, the reason we have jobs is because we film things like that.

This is going to be a party. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm serious. Heck, I may go, too, but I ain't. We went up to Jeff, Sarah. I just want to watch. For trout fishing. And, hey, that was a giant party, which we've already told you about.

You just better hope. That's where old Sir Godwin is right now. You better hope he don't shoot up the woods while he's up there. No, that'll be Miss Paula. Oh, them two-year-olds, they're the ones in danger. Oh, I laughed this morning, Godwin's Instagram. He posted Doze on the move. It was Paula up making her thing of coffee at about 4.30 this morning.

The Dole's on the move, boy. every now and then God want to pull one of them out where you just kind of tip your hat to him that's right too shay yeah that's where old johnny g is oh miss paula killed her a good no bear last year yeah i like it that's good that his woman's fired up about deer hunting again because she went a while without wanting to do it now she fired up on it again are you taking miss christine hunting this year oh no no my wife is not interested in does she eat deer meat? Yeah, she eats.

She'll eat it. She loves it. Sounds like my wife. She just don't, you know. She's not going to participate. She lays that up to me like when everybody was asking about, well, why ain't she in the show? She said, you know, and I told them, I was telling them, she's better got better sense than all the rest of us. Yeah.

Yeah. But the truth is, you know, she couldn't do it. No. Health reason. Yeah. Plus, you tell them just, you know, tell me, hey, I live with that idiot. Last time I need to be is on the show with it. Yeah.

Last thing I need to do is working. with him. I already got to live with it. Yeah, it's bad enough. I got to live with him. Oh, man, ain't that the truth. Did you imagine being married inside? Oh.

Hey, look. What about being raised by? Hey, there's one thing that's good about that. Okay. Is it, hey, being married to you? She's been laughing for over 50 years. Okay. Because it is fun around my house.

Thank you. They get up every morning, turn me very morning. turn the QB on and just start laughing. I'd agree. I'd agree. Every time I go to size house, I laugh. Oh, yeah. Every time.

It's always going to be fun. That's why I'm going to put him in that rickshaw and turn him up at deer's stand. And walk a thousand. Your heart just will we can go shoot deer together. Watch BK. Pop or another one. Who's making the rickshaw? Oh, Jeff. Jeff's got a...

Jeff said he knows a guy. Jeff got a guy. Yeah. Jeff one of them people has got a guy for everything. A rickshaw builder. Yeah, he's got a rickshaw. I've never been more. excited about watching something in my life oh no no no because this i'm telling this this is going to be

one big giant party and it's like a hotel in that in that deer stand and we're gonna i'm gonna bring the rickshaw home and we're gonna we're gonna implement that into your training that's right yeah yeah oh you're gonna have to tote said rickshaw yeah and then yeah i'm in go deer hunting for one reason to tote you i'll do it you don't get to carry a weapon you get to carry side You don't get shit, doesn't you? You just carry me. Hey, Willie's put me in many deer stands a weapon before, so I'm fine with that. I'll drag you.

It won't be near as quick as stone. Oh, hey, look, we ain't in no big hurry around this joint. No, because you're going to be there an hour early anyway. No, we don't get in no big hurry. I'm with sigh on that one. We're doing this for fun, okay, so there ain't no rush this. Rick Shaw training. Okay, hi, I like it.

Yeah. You're going to have to put Martin's the runner Huh You're the runner though You're the only one of us No no Hey when we went to the hazard

Fass Phillips in my room And he's looking at the one And he said He's like this He said That was old Martin Just run back

And I said What's chasing him He said He's just chasing him Yeah He's actually running He's out of exercise If we say you run

I said if you're running I mean You see me running Shoot whatever And behind A crap of A weapon Kill what's chasing me

Probably The problem is, the problem is, in that airport, I tweaked a little something other day on my left knee. Tweaked. Yeah, I've tried to run in the last two days, and she don't feel, she don't feel good. So, I just been walking. I need to tell you all this. My handler had to go somewhere. That's Philip.

Okay. Then it was time. Okay. I said, well, I need to go to the restaurant. You know, Martin said, well, I'll push you over there. Well, look, Mark pushes me up to, and gets up to the women, and he said, hey, oh, man, I'll fix you just push you in there. You're on your own. I tried to push him in the women's bathroom.

Hey, somebody's probably got a picture of my feet on both sides of the stupid door. They're like, hold it. You probably don't want me driving. So then, you know, Philip was gone somewhere else when they said, okay. Take a big shot today. It's time to board. You know, it's time to board. Martin said, you ready to go on board?

I said, yeah, go ahead and take me. Put me on board. Yeah. So look, we get out of this long slanted hallway, okay, they go to the plane. The jet breeze. And Martin said, are you ready? And I said, what you mean? He said, I'll fix it to let you go.

Gravity take her away. He's lucky I didn't have a string to tie up that emergency break. Because you got to do, you got to depress that emergency break. He said, I don't know what you're going to do when you get down the end of it because the bridge goes to the left. Yeah. You're going to hit the wall, I guess. I said, Martin, you better hold on, son, ease me down.

If I'd have had a way to depress that emergency break, I'd have let him go about five feet. I mean, I'd have been right behind him. Man, I would. Hey, this is dangerous. I'd have just like to have seen the expression on this, too. Pure panic. Yeah. Uh-oh.

He really did let me go. Hey. Hey, you think you're rolling, boys. All right. Well, let's take another break. We'll be back right after this. The first thing that come in my mind when he said, Rickshaw, was that they had,

uh, they had took a moped, okay. A mopad? Yeah. And put a trailer on the back of it, okay? And it was like one piece they had built this thing. And then, you know, then there would be all probably 24 Vietnamese in this thing and hanging on it and everything else. Yeah.

Because look, I'm driving my five-ton loaded down with engines and all this stuff going to the Air Force base, okay? And I come over a bridge, and this thing is a high bridge going up. You have to go up and then come down. I'm coming downhill with a full load on this five-ton trailer. And one of these little things pulls out in front of me. Uh-oh. And bad move.

I can't slow this sucker down, okay, because I got weight pushing me. And look, I'm sitting on the horn just on one of them air horns on the five-tonn, which is loud. And I'm literally, I can't see the back of this thing. All I can see is the driver doing this with his handlebar. because my truck is just right, I mean, right near close to touching the back end of this thing. Trading paint. And hey, you know, and hey,

as soon as he come down in the end of it, there's a road, dirt road off of the left. And he liked to turn it over because he took it to get out of my way. Okay. He said, I knew I had to go somewhere. No, no. He said, I got to make this turn whether we flip or not. And, hey, it was one of them deals here where he liked to turn it over.

What was he driving? I don't know what my... I just called a scooter with a trailer on the back of it. Yeah, but there was... Hey, I'm telling you, there was 20 people on this thing. So he's driving a moped. Moped loaded down with 20 people on the back of it. In Vietnam.

In Vietnam. Welcome. And you was behind it. And I'm behind him with a five-ton tractor and trailer, loaded down with all kind of ducan knife engines, five-ton engine. It was all metal, so it was heavy. And you're going downhill. And I'm going downhill.

And this ain't good. And I'm gaining. I'm gaining on him the whole time. And there's 24 people on it? Oh, yeah. No, no. On a bicycle? Look, this thing was about, about half the size of this.

With. Here, we'll measure it for the list of. Okay. Yeah. We have a yard stick. Third egg. Start six. Yeah.

About that. We'll call it the yardstick. That's three foot. About three foot. Okay. And then it would be put another two foot on the end of it. And then the motorbike. So about a three by eight.

Yeah. And, hey, there's 24 people on the back of this thing, okay? Yeah. They're hanging off the sides, you know. With one man driving. With one man driving a little old moped. Top speed maybe be 25. It'd be like the Cushman Eagle that you used to have when we was in high school.

The what? Cushman Eagle. It was like a moward. It's like a mowpast. Just a little old. Pull it up. With no big engine on. Like a motorcycle with a weed eater engine on.

Top feed was about 30. Well, let's side. We were at Hazard Fest, and you told a story that I ain't heard in a long time. I don't think John David's ever heard it. About what? About the salesman. Oh.

That's funny. He started laughing. That's funny. The reason I do it, because everywhere I go, Philip always saying, Hey, you know, okay, let's, hey, you need to tell some stories. And I said, what?

He said, well, hey, tell my favorite one. You're in your mother's, uh, cell, vacuum cell. Oh. But look, this is in the 60s. Okay. Pay attention. Pay attention, Johnny, D. You're going to like this.

No, no. Look, this goes on for about, I won't say three months, but it was probably three weeks. Okay. They got on, my mother and this stupid salesman got on first name basis because, look, every day at 10 o'clock is, doors, knock. Mom walks up, yep, okay. John, what are you doing here today? He said, Merritt, look, give me one hour to demonstrate this Kirby vacuum cleaner to you, and I know you're back.

Well, here's the way at first the first week meeting went. Give me an hour of your time to demonstrate all the neat features of this just amazing vacuum cleaner. And you'll buy it, no doubt about it. So Mama says, no, I'm not going to buy it. You know, I'm married. My husband works in the oil field. He don't make him much money. And we've got seven kids.

So, no, the answer is no, I'm not buying stupid vacuum cleaner. So it goes on like this for every day, 10 o'clock. John, what is wrong with you? I was going to tell you I'm not buying that stupid vacuum plan. Well, he's done going from an hour to give me 10 minutes, Mary. You know, that way, you know. She said, I'm not going to waste 10 minutes of my time, John. I got things I got to do.

I got kids they got to take care of. I got to make food, meals and all this stuff. So just, hey, leave. No, no, no. So, hi, finally, it just comes to her head. 10 o'clock. Okay. John, look, we can't, this can't go on happening.

I'm going to call it a law on you. And he said, Mary, give me five minutes of your time. And I promise, after the five minutes, this, you know, of my explaining how great this vacuum is, okay, if you don't buy it, I'll leave and I'll never come back again. So my mother says, okay, let me get this straight. You idiot, if I give you five minutes of my time, and lets you demonstrate this stupid vacuum cleaning to me.

And then you will leave and never come back. Yes, ma'am, that's exactly what. She said, okay, go get you stupid vacuum cleaning, come on. So look, he goes out to his truck. It's an old beat-up double-door van. Okay, he's got, it's been hit. Somebody's running in the back of it. It's crushed, okay.

He's got it wired together. He unwires it, and he grabs two things out of the back of this old beat-up truck. You know, one thing is the stupid vacuum cleaner, and the other thing is a big bucket of, you know, a five-gallon bucket. So he comes in the house, and the first thing he does he looks around, and he said, where's the plug-in, wall plug-ing? She said, open right over there. So he goes over and plugged in that stupid vacuum cleaner, y'all,

and then he grabbed that five-gallon buckets, and Mama's got a nice, pretty rug there in the middle of the living room. and he walks around and starts empty in horse manure all over this stupid rug and as soon as he starts doing this my mother screams John have you lost your ever-loving mind what is wrong with you

you're going I can't believe you're going to have to clean that up he said Mary Mary don't worry she said no you got you got to clean it he said married I don't worry about it I'll get it even if I had to eat it I'll get it I'll take care of it don't worry about it well mama starts laughing and says down in a chair and she's giggling. You know, and he's kind of looking at and talking about, well, what, you know, I don't get,

what are you laughing about? She said, well, young man, I sure hope you're hungry because we've been without power for the last three days. Then she turns to him and says, bonapetech, baby. Bonapetech. And that's why you don't trust ourselves. That's right. do not let a vacuum cleaner cell in your house they will do stupid things

I hope you're hungry I hope you're hungry what did the world just happen that's a great story based on a true story that is a true story no it's not hey that is a true story he just told it to you I wonder if that's is that a Jerry Clower story that ain't a Jerry Clark's story, okay? If not, that is a Cy Robertson original. Oh, that really happened. It happened. There you go.

It did not happen. All right. Well, let's take our last break. We'll get in that inbox. Well, we're going to get in the inbox. You said mama didn't. Mama says she didn't pay the bill. It was the last time I heard it.

No. Wrong story. No, wrong story. Okay. No, no. This wasn't on mama didn't pay the bill. You know, we were without power. one that idiot dumped his manure on our living room rug.

We'll be back right after this. And we're back. Johnny D. What we're going to get into here? It's your time to shine. Hello at duckcallroom.com is the address. Hello at duckcallroom.com. I got a lot of them.

He got a lot of weird ones, as always. But Dane from West. Virginia needs to know something from Stone. Stone, you're up. To the large animal trap you put on Phil's property. Okay. Did you ever catch anything? No.

And what happened to it? Well, I had to reassess my cat catching strategy. So when I put that thing out, it was 100 degrees. miserable. I wasn't getting a whole lot of pictures of cats. But I have reassessed and threw some messaging through what do you say, Sa, Instagram and other.

Oh, okay. We're talking about research and development. R&D. I've been informed that I need a rooster in the cage as opposed to a chicken. Oh, the hen wouldn't do it. The hen doesn't make enough noise. Huh.

That's kind of brilliant. And a white rooster on top of that. So now, so the chicken is no longer with us. It was tender and juicy. Somebody ate the chicken, boys. They ain't anything better than fresh chicken. That's true. Anyways, I'm on the hunt for a rooster,

and I'm going to wait until it cools off a little bit. And also, I have been informed that I need to camouflage my cage better. In other words, I got vines and limbs. Oh, you got to put stuff over this. It looks like a cave now. Oh, okay. So it's brushed in. We're going with a rooster here in a couple weeks,

and hopefully we'll catch that big cat. Well, I tell you where you need to put that. But you're what, you're arguing with me on what spot to put. Where did you tell me to put it? I told you put it in the corridor. Well, that's where I kill those two deer, though. Well, I know. I know.

I know. And that's where the picture of the cat is. I'm not going to mess that. He ain't going to mess that. Where do you think a cat hunts? The argument is going to continue, he said, because, hey, he ain't messing that. I'm not telling you what you should or shouldn't do, but my mom's neighbor has a white rooster. Uh-oh.

I'm interested. I can drop you a pen. And I bet the mama don't like it. That's it. I live next door to a rooster one time, and it was the worst. Good morning, Vietnam. Ah. that rooster makes a lot of record.

Anyways, that's where the cage is. It's waiting to be. Waiting to be baited. Bated. Yeah. Well, who was, who was this researching develop a width that you was talking to? Oh, just some hand. Oh, just some hand.

Sent a message in. Okay. There you said, use a rooster. A white rooster. In fact, I three or four days. This is one of them, believe it or not, Delt. Yeah. Believe it.

I think a white rooster makes a lot of sense. Well, he does make more noise. They stand out like a tired of punchbow and it makes a lot of noise. He's kind of like Sa. Kind of like me. There you go. That's the only joke I've got today is I kind of like Sao. All right, next.

We got a lot of... Stone, you are everybody's hero for being the House of Pain and me and Zai's personal life coach. And so Taylor from Pittsburgh wants to know how... I'm trying to see. They can't get motivated to start working out. Turning 31, but they just can't find the motivation. But they're starting to have a get into the old wheezing phase. As if, kind of like with you and the decoys.

It only took John David 33 years and around the rimdesivir to get motivated. I mean, I don't know what the problem is. Five days in the hospital doing it here. They said, it's all about perspective. I would say. Now, I'll let myself go and get out of shape. Now, how old is this person? 31.

31. 31. Well, technically 30, but they will be 31. That's when it started for me. That's when I got lazy. So your problem is you're just lazy. And not only that. You're not unmotivated.

You're just lazy. And look, and I'll tell you right now, I was lazy and let myself go. So you need to come to a realization that if you don't do something. When you get in your 60s, things are going south, you will be rendered useless. Yeah.

I will say, physically. That's one reason he started his workout is the wheezing that you're talking about. Okay. So. And that leads to other and worst things are going to.

That's right. So. I will say, I did skip a sentence. And he does have a newborn, which is causing a lack of sleep. Right. That is the thing that you just got to push

That's right. I went through it. The fattest I ever was. That's one of them things about how life happens. How you deal with it is up to you. Yeah, but the sad part is your wife went through all the excruciating pain of childbirth. Yeah. And she managed to keep herself in shape.

That's right. When your kids were young. My wife? Yep. Yeah. Oh, there's a fun. Hey, Martin, hey, Martin's getting a tick. Hey, Stone is just telling you like it is right now.

Wow. What I'm telling you is if you want to be undressed, ask Stone a question. I'm just saying this. I'm trying to keep it real. Hey, this is like the show to tell the truth. Well, that's right. I will say, we're going to tell it like it is. Hey, I will say, though.

Hey, House of Pain. House of Pain. I haven't showed you that. I have an update from the House of Pain. Okay. We are below the weight that is on the driver's license. Every time I weigh now, I'm below 230. Oh, yeah.

Give me five. And I was two. 48 in July. Back to answer to that question, and I'll tell you right now, I was pathetic and lazy. Oh, I thought she was going to say puffy. Oh, I was puffy too. Did you say puffy or fluffy? Husky and lazy.

So I would get home from work, I'd sit down to my chair and turn on the TV. Fluffy is my hero. Is that comedian? Break that habit. Do not go home and sit in your chair and turn on the TV. Go home and do something. productive. I'm going to buy rocks on my way.

Get rid of all beverages that aren't water. Get you a cuby. That's right. And don't make excuses. No excuses. I like that. You can do it. You can do it.

Once you get your mind right and you get your mind right that I'm going to do this, you'll do it. Or you can enroll at the House of Payne for $1.99 a month starting out. I do it for free. But hey, he's been working hard down at the land. So I've been having to do it on my own. But I haven't missed a day. Hunting season is here, so. Yeah.

At the end of the day. You've been doing good. But if you want a real workout, go grab the business end of one of them things and get the dragon. But at the end of the thing, it is on you. Here's the thing. Yes, sir. Okay. Yo.

Do it. If you won't do it for yourself, you need motivation. Do it for the child. Y'all just gave birth to. That's right. That's right. You want to be there. When you get to.

You want to be there to see her or him grow up. That's right. And you want to be able to take them hunting, fishing, do things physical with them. And if you don't change your habits right now, you're not going to be able to do that. You will not be able to do it. That should be enough motivation right there. All right. I don't even know what to go.

Hope that helps you, brother. Oh, that was fantastic advice. Well, we got a little more time. Along the weight loss goals, Jason said Stone. This is a direct quote. Tell me what to eat and not to eat to lose weight. Please be specific. Do not eat sugar.

That's true. Eat protein. Holtes, twinkies are out. Okay. That's pretty much your main. Hey, get rid of hosties. Twinkies, okay, and bring in oatmeal for a breakfast. Eat protein, avoid carbs.

That's it. Clean, you could have clean carbs. Yeah, clean carbs. Oatmeal, sweet potatoes, brown rice. Sweet potatoes are excellent. Whole wheat bread, fine. Yeah. I eat baked chicken and sweetbreads.

Especially the way Dan cooks them. And we cook them together. Oh, I should say stunk. Yes, she don't cook nothing. In a Dutch oven? I should say stone. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, that's awesome. I'd say no sugar, clean carbs, a lot of water. And you'll start shredding off the LBs. I've been drinking crazy water. And then, hey, last question, and this is the exact opposite of losing weight. The holidays are coming up. Jonathan from Chattanooga, Tennessee. wants to know what our opinion is on eggnog.

It's great stuff. That is wonderful. Oh, no, it is wonderful. I do happen to like eggnog. Yeah, hey, I wish I had a big mug of it right now. Ice coat. Oh, yeah, I can have eggnog. No, I'm saying, like you can't just crush eggnog.

You can. You've arrived. Eggnog's heavy. It's heavy. That's Phil will say heavy. But I love it. It's like everything. Heavy cream.

Everything in moderation. Eggnog is absolutely fantastic. That is. It's good. It's fabulous. It's good. I only drink it once a year. It's a Christmas.

Christmas Eve. Yep. Yep. Christmas Eve. And then where did my last email go? I don't know. I had it somewhere. At that part of that computer, you got.

Probably with that eggnod. Huh? No, it had nothing to do with eggnog. Oh, I like that hat you're wearing today. Yeah. Well, Ann, a big announcement. I'm going as Bill Dance for Halloween. I've decided.

I found this hat. I had this hat when I was like eight. You got a lot of work to do, huh? Yeah, you got a lot of cleaning up to do. Well, I'm just going to wear the hat

and my carrier fishing. And big round sunglasses. Yeah. I love you. You're going to fall over the trailer hitch? I've lost what I was trying to do. Well, then send us out of here with a Bible verse says, Bill.

Well, see, that's the problem. That's what I was trying to do because a young fan from Ohio, age 13. Age 13. sent in his verse. She sent in her verse. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, here it is.

Here it is. Hey, y'all. It's Abigail from Ohio. What's up, Abby? 13, and she would love it if we closed one of our podcasts with her favorite Bible verse. Well, you've got it, Abby. Well, Abby, here we come. Abby, you're in luck today.

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me. My only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace. Acts 2024. Go on. That is a verse right there. That's a good one. That's 13-year-old Abby from Ohio.

So thank you for listening. But most of all, thank you for testifying to the good news of God's grace. Amen. All right. We'll see y'all next time. All right here. Let's go work out, side.