Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Applauds a Shoplifter’s Honest Apology

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

Uncle Si insists he’s discovered the secret to staying “well-preserved,” and Martin thinks he’s finally figured it out. Jacob swears Si’s wardrobe belongs in a vintage boutique, while John-David brings back another unbelievable shoplifting story that somehow ends on a surprisingly uplifting note. Plus, the boys discover a bear coat that could make them fashion legends for the “low” price of $500. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. We are back side. How are you looking better? I actually feel better. Your black eyes going away. But you still got them pearly wise. Jacob, have you seen this yet? No.

Look at that. Look at that man. I told him before the podcast. He's Dr. Phil's brother. Hey, Phil's the one that started this. Really? We was at his podcast, on a shame. Okay.

When he threw it in there, talking about, hey, look, you got the money. You know, feel him stupid guys. gap in. Phil said that? Yeah. That's hilarious. And so he waited until it was free. I think the actual term was, why don't you put some teeth in there?

And that old hand here. Why don't you put some teeth in that old head here? And it's weird because like the next week, Philip got the text. I'm like, hey, look, we want to do this for a side. Yeah. And I said, this is a prank. A prank. Yeah.

I figured it was a prank. So y'all already talks about this on here, huh? Oh, yeah. We did a whole... You like it? The last year it was... Feels good? But...

Yeah, what amazed me was, okay, he pulled... I think 13 is what I had, I think. I don't know. But he pulled... How many does a normal person now? I don't know. You can have up to 32. Most people have 28 because you get your wisdom teeth.

Not a lot of people only have 30. Look, from the time... Where I come from, that's a lot. From the time the doctor stuck the IV in, set it up two hours. Yeah. You pull 13 teeth and then... and put in like 16 post. Well, I've got enough.

Look what I've got in my mouth in there. It's been a couple of days since we did our last one. Give us the update. Have you eaten anything new? Are we still all soft? No, no, because my wife said, I said, hey, I said, you got any hot dog? She said, well, you can't. I said, yeah, I can't.

Hot dog. Yeah, you can cut it with a fork. I said, here's what I want. I said, I want chopped up hot dogs. Okay. Yeah, with pork and beans, onions, and then a little barbecue sauce. If you fart. Well, that's what I had last night.

That sounds like a terrible exit plan. Yeah, that's actually what happened in the first season of Duck Dynasty on that RV. The Vietnam Special? Well, it was Spam, which is square hot dogs essentially. You were like, man, I haven't had real food in a week. That's sandwich can't be beat, son. Bring in the pork and beans and hot dogs. You cut it a quarter, quarter, five.

Did y'all ever watch the Big Bank theory? No. Man, I enjoyed that show. I just remember. You're the only person I know that loves that show. The character, Sheldon, and it used to have cut up hot dogs in a spaghetti. And that's where I thought Si was going with this. Like, I want spaghetti would cut up hot dogs.

I was like, hey, that might be in the next one. I'll tell you this. Yeah. You were a topic of conversation in our family group messages. Bella texted in there and said, just a warning for everyone. So I got new tea. so don't freak out when you see them. Oh, whoops.

It might scare you. Oh, Bella was the first one to come in there. She was standing in the door. She said, well, let's see. Oh, yeah. She said you look so much younger, what you do. Well, you got a little. Well, I didn't realize.

Heath will do that to him, man. When Doc was telling me what he was going to do for him and all this, I wasn't, you know, I was saying, eh, you know, didn't think much about it. But then when they put that picture side by side and I'm looking at the garbage I've got left in my mouth. Yeah. Wasn't much. I said, I don't know why. A lot of garbage.

Hey, do this. Did you, did you, the improvement is, is unreal. Did you look at yourself saying, hmm, that's interesting. Yeah, I said, hey, I didn't realize this. Yeah. Philip called me last night. We were talking about a bunch of stuff. Si, you didn't tell this, but I thought this was a really cool part.

You know, Sai did not look at those teeth until he got home with Christine so they could see them at the same time. Oh, that's sweet. Well, no, no. How cool is that? That's awesome. Well, no, no, but, hey. You didn't open your mouth? My mustache.

Well, he didn't, like, actively like... Look in a mirror. Yeah. Until he got home. That's just what's so weird. You don't realize how many muscles you use just to smile. Yeah. I used to hear people talking about, well, you use 14 muscles to smile and like, oh, no, the other way around.

Anyway, one of them is you use too many frowning. Mm-hmm. Well, you use everything around here you used. open your mouth to smile. Right. You know, and after you've had teeth pulled all around, it's kind of rough to smile. Right.

But not for America's uncle, baby. Yeah, I'm just now starting to be unable to smile where you can actually see my teeth. Well, for what it's worth, I ain't quit smiling since you showed back up with them. It looks good. Well, it shocked me. Talk about a man that's undergone a transformation.

He said, you know what? Glasses, don't need them. Get rid of that mess. teeth do need them let's go get some I mean what's next for you I got I got what's next set up okay what are you doing next Wednesday

oh yeah oh yeah I fixed to get a trim haircut and trim beard by what by who I got it I got a lady of course well I talked to Russell who is not a lady and Russell Russell wants to do it but I well Russell sorry Russell

He's won like awards, but whatever. I don't care if he's run the world. I've got a haircut next Wednesday at 9. Russell's got a spot for you. Well, we're doing it here. We're going to take it there. We're doing it there. All right.

You've been there before. It's antique alley. It's on antique alley. You've been there before. We're going. Being tired getting haircuts together. If y'all think I'm not coming. Wrong.

My schedule just opened up. You know what you want? You know what? You know what you want or is John David picking your hair trim? What's the deal? No, I'm just going to tell her. I said, hey, trim my hair because I'm tired of looking like a, I don't even know what to say what I look like.

But it's just a, you know. Yeah. Grim all that off where it's a haircut. You get them to braid your ponytail. And then, well, you do that too. It may be that long. What if we go, what, what if we go with a buzz cut? Yeah.

A what? A buzz cut. we get rid of the pony tail. Ooh. Like a high and tight. I'm just saying like. You're going to screw my resume my resume my resume up. Your beard is exceptionally off-centered

today. I'm sending that to, I'm sending that to Zoe and telling her what she's working with. I've been off-centered all my life. Yeah, kind of like your microphone is. You mind sending her net back up? Okay. There you go.

Look, but you know what you can do quicker than you get your haircut? What? Get a duck stamp at duckstamp.com. Boom. You can do it while you're getting you. And did y'all know? it's digital. Yeah, and it's easy.

You don't even need the picture anymore. If you need a duck stout, there you go. Get it while you're getting your haircuts. You're a captive audience for a little while and it won't take you very long. It's hard to be fun now, though, for those that carry a phone.

Yeah. You know, before you see him coming, as soon as you see them, just hold up and say, it's on the phone. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Tell them, you'll air drop it to them, you know.

Yeah, air dropping it. Oh, man. The transformation is almost complete. Well, and then he's got to go have Jacob dress him, which those are pretty retro. Well, no, if he's going to do that. Well, real, real vintage Western stuff. I could do that. Oh, that's what we're doing after the.

Oh, yeah. We're getting this man. I made a good-looking cowboy outfit. Oh, I didn't know where we were going with good-looking. With the vest. We've been down this road. him few. With the vest.

Oh, he wants the vest. You want a... Not the little, what, tan and white cow. Yeah. Oh, okay. You want to wear some fringe?

You want a fringe jacket? Yeah, you want some... A little fringe jacket. Well, no, a fringe jacket wouldn't be bad. Like the old trappers. Yeah. We can get you a belt buckle, it says Uncle Si on it. I need to go get you...

I need to go get you a pack of cowboy killers just to come out. What is a cowboy killer? Marl Burles. He's already got it to... Leave them out. I'm getting a feel good. guys. I don't need no cigarette.

We'll get you the candy ones that you can eat. Oh, now that would be funny. That would be funny. Not even those. Thigh with the little wannabe lucky strikes. The little sugar lucky strike. He's going to look good. With a pink end on it.

A little pink panther action. That's what makes you think of? What's the pink? Oh. It's supposed to be the end of fire. My goodness gracious. I love the transformation of a, what are you 77? 77?

Yeah, we're all in here just working. just working on herself. What are you going to be at 80, man? This is going to be awesome. This is going to be real slow. That's the only thing I've been rethinking is I said I won't make it to a Honda. We do too.

Yeah. Not me per se, but I want you to be a Honda. But for you to get there, you're going to have to switch from that rabbit down to the turtle. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to. Well, I ain't got one gear. Yeah. If you're at a Honda.

And hey, it's going from slow to slower. What do you use for? WD 40. Oh, Mr. Mrs. T's, man. I don't know. Yeah.

Mr. Mrs. T's bloody merry mick. That's a cure all, man. There you go. I'm telling you, that's a good drink. There you go.

If you live to a Honda, I'm going to start drinking it. So what is you use with it out? Yeah, you don't need to. Like you're saying, a Bloody Mary? It's a Bloody Mary mix.

But he doesn't mix it. Yeah, he just drinks it with ice. What is the mix in the bloody mary is the red? Tomato juice. Oh, yeah. There we go. Oh, no, it ain't just tomato juice.

It's spicy tomatoes. Yeah. Tomod. All the black pepper you can stay as. So he has a party with Mr. or Mrs. Tea. He don't let tea. So you just drink it straight up?

Oh, what are you talking about? Yeah, with ice. Ice cold. Pour it on ice. Look, I've got bottles that the house look this tall and that big around. When he got COVID, people started sending that suck. We would get gallons a day. Yeah.

Do you put in gum after that? No. It's not good. He just goes and chops up a hot dog with working beans and eats it, man. I drink a half a gallon. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Tritels beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson, would say, buy on the grill!

Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a couple. cookout meant somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef comes from but with try tails beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way try tales comes from a family ranch out in texas they're a fifth generation american ranch so they've been at it for a while now look the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way their steaks are properly aged and ship straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire. That's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedales beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat me. She isn't a big meat eater, folks.

Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Your complete digestive system needs to be studied. No, I agree. Well, we're going to have to wait 22 years, minimum. Well, they said that about my kidneys. Well, that's everything.

Your innards need to be looked at once the time, once Jesus caused your own. But you would be shocked. I am. Okay. Every day. I know. You would be shocked. We've never not been.

If they could pile it up, what the halapina peppers that i have eaten or the it would amaze everybody well hopefully it's left your body all of them so the olives stuffed with jalapinas that he's eaten right now there's probably at least 100 jars 100 yeah in my in my cabinet i've got drawers slam full of nothing but drawers too? Uh huh? Drawers as well. Oh, yeah.

Well, not the drawers you wear, but. What's the dry mall? Do you not have a pantry? I'm saying these drawers? You couldn't fit that in a pantry. No, no, no, no. Because the cabinets right beside the refrigerator. Yeah.

That has a little slide drawers in them. Yeah. And I got like three drawers. Ain't nothing but just. He's like. Halapenia pepper stuff. His is like ours. We don't have a quote-unquote pantry.

We have a pantry. We have two pantry cabinets full of slops. in drawers. Yeah. Interesting. That way you don't have an actual room you walk into. You just, every,

you keep everything right there close. Our room's right there about a curtailer refrigerator. Halipania stuff. Is it this? Yeah. Oh, he eats them jalapeno stuff to olives. I,

I, I, oh. What we're finding out. Oh, yeah. Just like that? Those. You just eat those?

Yeah. Sometimes I'll just go in there and get one of them out of the freezer that you, I just just put it in there. The jar? Yeah. And just eat the whole thing. I've seen him. You drink it.

jar. The juice? No. Just eat the olives. I do that with bread and butter pickles. You know what it is. He's pickled. Vinegar.

Yeah, he's pickled. Oh, no. Your innards are. Oh, no, no, no. That's one of the greatest things there is is vinegar. Yeah, he is a pickled human being. What? Yeah.

He's full of salt and vinegar. He is preserved already. His whole life he's been preserved. He's been preserving himself. Whenever, I'm a hundred. I'm going to dig you up and see if you decomposed at all. Right now, I could open a jar of Ms. Christine's bread and butter pickles. A quart jar.

A quart jar. I could eat the whole jar and then drink the rest of what's left of vinegar left on. I mean, that's not bad for you. That's good, huh? Clearly. Oh, no. Theoretically, I'm just saying on paper. I mean, pickles are good for you.

Other than the salt. I don't know. I'm guessing I don't like pickles. You don't like pickles? I love a pickle. I like a deal pickle, but he's the only one I mess with. I don't mess with any of them. I don't like olives.

I feel like that's the thing we're making here. Oh. Those are actually really good, though. The peppers aren't very hot. They got ones with little clothes of garlic in them, too. Keep the vampires away. Hold on. Here, Christine, just put it all together and you made a great salad.

I used to make it instead of that. I can't eat nothing hard. Yeah. You know, she said, well, what are you? I'll take a good salad. Yeah. So I don't have you. Graded cheese.

black olives, green olives stuffed fulls of jalapinas, okay, lettuce, tomato, and, you know, she threw everything, and then the spicy vinegar rite. Spicy vinegar. So much vinegar. Though avocado in there, you get a little pico. Yeah. Telling it, he's pickled.

Yeah. We have figured it out. The man is pickled from the inside. You are. That is what. They don't even need to put in the, what is the embalming fluid? Yeah, no, you're there. You're doing that day.

Oh, you just throw me in there. That's right. Well, it's not pickled as salt cured. That's right. It ain't going nowhere. If you're having health problems, eat canned olives and you'll end up like size. They're all good for you. And then.

Yeah, they're not bad for you. I didn't bring it in. They are good. Oh, ice tea. Yeah. Ice tea has a lot of. Antioxidant. Yeah.

I don't a health kick all this. I know. you were going to stroke. Running. Yeah, you're about to start, like, exercising and jogging? As long as he don't outrun that oxygen machine. No, no, here's the same. If you see me running, get your 30-30 ready and then kill me.

No. What's behind it, not you. You'll kill what's chasing me. Okay, yeah. I just go ahead and tell you, I'm going to be honest with you. Size of the age, he ain't going to run. I just, though. He's going to run smooth out of bullets and then take it like a man.

So you ain't going to see him running. Yeah, but I say, if you see him. It started clicking and ain't no boom no more. Yeah. He's just, because there's one thing I know about the man, he's ready. So, yeah,

his days of running from trouble are over. Like, the only way he's running is behind the wheel of that Ford. So that's the only thing he's ridges. I'd run with this big toe when I hit the, hit the gas. Hit that gas to the, and now you've got to hit that gas, boys.

Oh, man. Wow, brother. Yeah. Pickled sigh. Well, Jacob, you had an interesting weekend, huh? Your son got his first deer? My son is crazy. Yeah, my buddy, Luis.

Has he been on here? Luis has been on here? Yeah. Oh, Luis, why don't you? Long time. Yeah, I took him to kill a deer. I've been telling him I was. And so that was like my number one objective this year was to get him on a deer.

Yeah, Luis got him a doe deer. Oh, yeah. It was so much fun. There you go. It was like taking a little kid. Oh, yeah, I saw the video and I was like. Well, no, no, he would be a hoot to take and do it anyway. It's awesome.

Did he start speaking Spanish real fast? because he got so excited. Did he leave English behind there for a minute? He left English behind. This is a little American, Louise. Yeah. They don't do this in the Dominican. He's hilarious.

I mean, it's honestly a crazy full circle moment because the first time I met Luis was in the Dominican. And so now he lives here. And y'all just shooting deer to- Just had his second child. He has a house, him and his wife. He was an orphan without papers, you know, into the Dominican. Well, no, no.

He has impressive. ain't the work. Yeah. The young man is impressive. He got himself an education. You know, and it wasn't easy to do. And just God's hand in his life, like his story to like everything. But if you're looking to follow him on social media, he changes his username every month.

I don't know. He's an official Luis Doughman right now. Yes. Wait, is he really? No, but he changed his name one time to official Luis Duckman. Yeah, he got off at. He did. And he went to Buckman and then he's, I think, I don't know what he's.

Now he's just regular old official Luis Mattoe. There you go. I love that it's official. With the period in between it. Yeah. He's official. Hey, you got to be official. I give him this.

Luis loves him some Luis, man. Self care, not something you got to worry about with that boy. But we were out there shooting the gun. We'll get him some venigal. He's never shot a gun before. So we went on the range to shoot the gun. And when he pulled the trigger, the trigger, y'all know his laugh. Yeah.

just started cackling like it was the coolest thing ever he was like boy this is the most coolest thing ever it was so funny it was hilarious like and we were just shooting targets so it was so fun and uh he shot the deer at 25 yards with a rifle with a rifle oh you got to love that he gone this is up close and personal you got to love that whatever he said he looked at me and he goes, I want to know if you shoot a buck, does it feel the same as this? I said, you couldn't imagine. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

That's great. No, he was fired up the other day. Show me all the videos. It's fun because you get to see a grown man be a kid again. Yeah, it's like we live in the moment when you killed your first year. Yeah, like it's the moment that you recognized because you grew up doing it. Right. Well, that, you know.

And seeing. Honesty and original laughter. Yeah. Or joy. It has no background information of anything. First deer is a wild experience. Oh, yeah. We got a tracking.

See someone in pure joy. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. It is fun. It's unbeatable. And I got to gut the deer and I pulled the heart out and gave him the heart. It was so fun. Did he eat the heart?

I have it. We're going to cook it for him. Yeah. Hey, you're talking about a man that loves the feed on a chicken. A deer heart ain't a big step for him. That's a good point. If you'll eat chicken feet. Yeah, I don't know that he saved deer hoof, but maybe, you know.

I've got a question. Go ahead. Is that a thing you do? What? Eat a deer heart? Oh, deer heart's fantastic. I didn't know this until Jay. Fantastic is such a strong term to use that.

Deer heart is good. Well, no, no, any kind of heart. Now, that deer liver's a little stout. Yeah. He's a little tough to, he's a little tough to handle. He's, he's. You also were sad when the chicken, the only chicken plate. that sold chicken livers

I do love a chicken I do love a chicken liver I was sad about that but chicken livers Hey big mammas and Monroe sells the chicken livers Yeah They're so good

It is. Yeah Yeah it's big mamas for a reason Because you eat there enough You turn into big daddy My cousin And I'm not opposed to doing this I just personally have done

My cousin if it's cold enough And there's fresh roadkill He will get out of his truck And cut the backstrap out of a deer On the side of the road If it's cold enough outside it's fresh. Oh,

I've hit them with a car. Yeah. I'm just saying, fresh road kill pulled over. Yeah. Zai, you ever been hungry enough to intentionally hit one with a car?

I had a friend that did that I was writing with, and he did that with squirrels and rabbits. He would intentionally hit them, pick them up and cook them the next day. Well, no, I would do it with a squirrel. If I seen him just run over

and hopefully just over the head. Oh, I was about to say, you go mid, you go center mass on a squirrel though and he's just pretty well ruined. Can I tell you all about like raising canes, chick filet,

Wendy's for crying out like that? You don't want to say that? Hey, there's... He's in a real... We'd rather have a fresh road kill, son. Hey, there's two things I would run over every time. A raccoon or a snake. Really?

Oh, no, now I slide on a snake, I'm not eating the raccoon. I just don't like them. That's hilarious. I let a cotton mouth go yesterday on the road. What? He was a little one. He was a little little yellow tail.

You don't think he's going to grow up to being adult, just like Sasquatch? Well, here's what I got to tell you. He wouldn't go anywhere near anything. I'm going to be stomping through, so I just was like, hey, live your life, son. I did stop and look at him. Well, if I get a chance, oh, I'll go slide on him. Slide on him, boy. Hit the brakes on him and just smear him.

Guy, let's go python hunting in Florida. Oh, yeah. Come on. Let's do it. Tombo did that. Yeah. You bring me a 30 caliber or a machine gun. And a helicopter.

No, you got to grab him first. No, I'll grab him, all right. Pieces of them. I love about 35 rounds grab him. On top of a Humvee. Yeah. I ain't mad at snakes, man. I don't know what the issue.

Oh, I ain't mad at them. I'm mad at them. Oh, I'm not mad at them. They just live in their lives. They're just going to kill every one on my seat. I'm not mad at it. I'm just saying if I see you. So I's still mad about Genesis, man.

Hey, sometimes you've got to let the people know. Yeah. And the snake's got to know first. Yeah, well, I just, I let them slide if they're not somewhere that I'm going to be. I associate snake with the devil. I do stop and look at them, though. You're so interesting. Would you have a pet snake?

No, I have, or I have had to take care of snakes when I was in college. They are a nasty. They're not, I don't love them as a pet because when you clean out that cage of snake crap, man, that stuff stinks. And they just rolling in it. Yeah, they got feet. Yeah. The Lord said, taking your feet, so you got to just lay in it. That's why I don't want to eat with him.

I don't want to eat the snake. So, like, let him go. I'm not, if it gets down to it and you get that hungry, maybe, but like, I don't. I don't eat it if I had to be starving. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to eat him. I ain't never going to be that. Plus, with the way wild pigs are now, man, snakes catch a, they catch a rough deal.

Oh, no, no. That's the wildest thing that I'm seeing in the wild. There's a pigs walking through the woods. Yeah. And walks up on a cotmouth, branches down, grabbed him and just, the pig is eating him, and the snake is biting the pig as he's eating.

Yeah, he don't care. I bet y'all seen this. Y'all seen the video of like a honey badger versus like a black mama snake. Those are just so cool. Oh, yeah, we were LSU fans went Terrell and Matthew. Oh, yeah.

Maybe the next coach. Or like watching a, I seen a squirrel. A video of a squirrel in a snake one time. They was like trying to get him. He was fast. They were like, oh, they did. The neatest thing about that is I'm squirrel hunting. Uh-huh.

I'm laying against the big oak tree and there's a big pecan orchard I'm looking over. Y'all and I'm sitting this squirrel go, he, he, he, he, every time he's getting closer to the ground. The timber rattle,

you know, so I'm watching all this and finally I said, oh, you stop my, boom, you know, the shotgun. Before I get up there, I come up there and all of sticking out is the squirrel's tail.

Oh, yeah. A snake had sit there and charmed him down out of the tree. Yeah. By just wiggling his tail tail in the leaves. Just sh-ch-ch-ch. Yeah, that's what my pow-ball told me when I started squirrel hunting as a kid. He was like, always watch out to buy them squirrel tree. That's where them snakes wait for him to come down.

Oh, yeah, all that trick them down. Yeah, I killed one like that. He got to barking down there towards the ground. I was like, oh, perfect. I see you, boom, go over there and there's cotton mouth. I was like, hey, hey, all right. Then it's okay, boom, boom, boom. I got him.

I was stomping around there. All right. Now we're, now we're tracking. We were questioning your beliefs. No, if I'm going to be walking through that area in the dark, I'm going to go after self-preservation.

But just driving down the road. I get what you're saying. You're not going out of your way to kill them. No, I look at it. I look at them. I actually moved that little baby off the road. I will. You got out and moved it?

Uh-huh. Oh, One of the prettiest animals you'll ever see is a baby cotton mouth, like fresh skin, he's got all the patterns before he turns old stump tail and black and he got that little yellow tail back there. He's a cool animal, man. He is really cool. I just hope he, you know, goes and tells his mama one day because if they do end up where I'm at,

I'd like for him to give me a free pass like I did him. Let's just call him a reptile. Hey, there's a reptile show coming. I've already been to this one, the one at the convention center. Are you going back this year? No, it's like the saddest place. in America. Oh.

No. It's, I mean, they got, they got a bunch of animals living in, like, cups and stuff that they're selling the people, man. Yeah, it does not. They had a big giant tortoise took a massive dump in the floor. I'd never seen tortoise crap, but I saw it there. That was weird. Add that to the book.

It was exactly what you'd expect. Like, just a animal that eats a bunch of lettuce all day. It was just a big pile of runny green. Okay. Okay. Martin, you're the only person I know that would go to that. I paid to go in that thing, too. That's what I felt bad for.

Hey, you know the people that work there, though? Big Duck Dynasty fans. I know that's a shock, but big. John Luke would go to that. Oh, that's true. And John Shepard, he'd take John Shepard. John Luke would come home with several animals. That's what I'm saying.

I took the boys as kind of just a, like, a learning experience. Like, we can look at snakes, but we don't play with them. Like, that's where I'm at. You should take them to, like, a minor league hockey game instead. They got snakes there? No. Throw them on the ice. They're not,

I'm not, I'm not worried about them picking up a hockey game while I'm not around. I'm worried about educating them on what to do when I ain't there. That's a good out of the lives. My wife has educated our kids on what to do when I see a snake. Scream. Run. Run.

And run. Yeah. So, not great. So freak out. Yeah, that's what my whole family does, but me. Interesting.

That time there was one in the neighborhood. What do you do? Just run. Not. Without the scream. I just walk. I just walk. Just get out the way.

There was one in the neighborhood. Right in front of Stone's house one time in the middle of the road. We were on a golf cart, and Allison started screaming, and they were on the back of the golf cart, and I hit that thing in reverse for about. It was almost the end of me and Allison, but it was funny to me. In a second, she got big mad. She wasn't in on that. No, she wasn't.

It was a bad idea. Bella freaks out. Yeah. Nice? That's a good thing to freak out about. It's a healthy. I just mean like skittish, like, you know, skittish. I mean, overall it's a healthy fear to have.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Allison will burn the neighborhood down. Over a snake? Oh, yeah. How does you feel about your geckos? Not good? You don't like them either? Yeah, they've actually claimed the door to our house now.

It's theirs now. We just leave it locked. We go in the back. You can't go in our house without 17 geckos running in with you. Oh, nice. Geico, he should be sponsored. We should do something because I'm sick of them. Oh, man.

Well, Jody D, y'all had a fun day yesterday, huh? at the honey home? I don't want to talk about it. Well, we got to talk about it. Yeah, what was the deal? Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is the shoplifting chronicles. Oh, oh. Oh, five.

Four or five since you go again. Oh, yeah. We get them a lot. Golly. So this one, it actually ends kind of well. Hopefully, it ends better, whatever. So has it fully resolved? Oh, we resolved it.

Fully? In 17 minutes. Really? It was quick. So. Give us a breakdown, play by play by play. Kind of sketchy, kind of acting weird. two people.

Male, male, female, male? Female, female. Show him the video, and let's let him determine. No, the video's over. You will find out why the video is gone now. So they leave in a hurry, and they've been walking around and didn't buy nothing and kind of jogged out the door, I'll say. One more question. Old, young.

Young. Okay. And, you know, it was like, young-ish. Big Dave goes, they just took something, didn't they? And I was like, crap, I thought it too. go check the cameras tried on every shirt in the store every time i was like it's going in the purse and it didn't i was like okay they were just acting weird and then they got to the front of the store shoved a dock light in the purse jetted out the door $100 light so now i'm just like come on and

big dave's pissed i'm pissed you know you just walk in the store had no intention to buying anything is obvious this case in the joint yes and then one's running the distraction and one's walking looking at stuff. So she purses it, turns around, walks out the door. Quickly. Look straight at the camera. I mean. Like smile.

And actually, just so everybody's clear, that one camera by the door, we paid twice as much for. That's the rest of them. That's the rest of them. So you're in like real good HD quality footage. Yeah. The only thing you don't have is audio. Yeah.

Well, yeah, that's like weird. There's like legalities to that. I don't even want audio because I'm sure there's somebody back on. I wish we had it the other day, though, when me and a mailman were cutting up. because that was fun. Oh, that was wild. Montreal, if you're listening, I love you. Anyway.

So they leave and I'm like, I find the video. I'm like, what we do, post it. And dad's like, go for it. And I'm like, I post the video. And it's so high. Like, it's just red-handed. You put it in your purse. You look at the camera.

We got both your faces, walk out the door. Call the police. Let them know they show up. I posted that video, Sigh. How many people are in Washington Parish? I don't know. We're not a bunch. Like 100,000.

In the total pairs, maybe. Yeah, I think the Twin Cities is like 60, right? In two hours, a hundred thousand people had seen the video. Yeah. So the amount of people we all live around, all of them had seen it, basically. Right. So then, you know, in 17 minutes, we have a name. We have an identity.

18 minutes, we have both of them. I get sent her Facebook profile. And then the mob started. And now we're up to like 100. 50,000 views and people are pissed. And it makes you feel good that like, they're like, that's our store. I will say people love, like,

I'm not saying love the videos, but love to interact and figure out who the culprit is. You don't like people because, you know, the amount she stole from us is more than I paid Martin's cousin yesterday. So it's like, okay, well now I can't afford an employee or all that stuff, but we're blessed so we can. But it's still like, you can't be stealing from me. So we post the video.

I talked to her cousin on the phone. I talked to her dad. That's a tough conversation. That wasn't fun. That was her dad. He was very apologetic, hated it, felt embarrassed, wanted to pay for it. But he was like, and she needs to get in trouble. So prosecute, but I just want to feel right on my bar.

I said, man, it's not your, if I make a mistake, it's not my dad to go fix it. Yeah. No, but that's a good father. 100%. Because he believes in accountability. So he was trying to do. I can appreciate that. His part.

And he said, her mom had talked to her. I said, hey, you tell her. her. If her mom talks to her tell her, you walk back in, you give me the light, you pay for it, whatever we got to do. I said, I won't even make it weird. I said, I'll take the video down. We'll brush this all. And at this point, there's like several hundred comments. A little bit of name calling going on, some funnier than others. Yeah. And the internet is a wild place. The comment section is. This one went wilder than anyone we've ever had before. Right. Which, by the way, even in our comment section, kudos to you clever people.

people out there, man. I love, I love reading some. Some clever comments are just good. Yeah. So anyway, so then I'm just like, man, this is tough. I've talked to the cops. They've got the video, whatever. Then the phone rings at 530. Oh, no. And it's her. Oh, okay. So accountability's taken then. She's, she's admitting to the problem. She says, hey, Google Maps says I'll be there at 607. I said, I'll hang out for you. She said, if I come in, pay for it. Can we? I said, hey, I said, I've already forgiven you. Yeah. I said, but if you come in and pay for it, we'll make this square.

I'll make it. I may even do it. You ain't even got to pay for it. Just bring it back. I don't care. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can keep it or you can buy it. I told me it was gone.

Oh. I don't know where. That's not my job to know. She said, it's gone. I said, come in pay for it. Me and you are square. I will, she said, will the police be there? I said, no, I'll call the cops.

We ain't going to put you in a sting over a hundred bucks. I said, no, that's not what this is about. So she comes in, apologize. We talk for a second, you know, and I'm just like, hey, you ain't. And then I was like, you know, I talk all this, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, you know, I don't want people stealing from me. But I also want to, I'm like, I've got a weird opportunity here to tell her. So I just looked in the eyes and said, look, if nobody's told you lately, I love you as a person. And I don't want to see you in jail. I don't want you going around. Especially over a hundred dollar life. Yeah.

Well, yeah. And so I was like, I don't want you doing all this. And you don't have to. Yeah. She has Big Dave's cell phone number. She's messaged me on Facebook. It asked me if I'd take the video down. I said, I've already taken the video down. I put up a video that said, hey, she came back in. She paid for it. We talked about Jesus for about three minutes. Then she skid-addled. Yeah. And I told her, I said, Big Dave helps a lot of people out that are down and out. I don't even care what it's for.

I said, but clearly you got some issues because you're stealing from people. And apparently reselling very quickly. Yeah. And we talked about that. And I said, look, you come. I said, here's my dad's cell phone number. It is, WFR Church on Friday nights is, you know, 200, 300 yards down the road. I'm not that good at measuring distance.

Yeah. It's right there. A tenth of a mile. And you are welcome. In a month, you'll be able to see it because the leaves will be off the trees. Yeah, 100%. I said, you are welcome to come in there and people will love you and they will not judge you. I said, I'm not judging you for what you did.

You made it right. I said, so I hope something good comes out of this. But what you're doing now ain't the lifestyle you should be living. No. You're headed down a road of this is, this is, this starts as a $100 light. Right. And then the next thing you know. How did I get here?

Yeah. Yeah. And there's. You're wearing orange and. Clearly other stuff going on in our life. And you're not saying go vals. It wasn't for the balls. But, you know, I, it was, I'm telling you, you know, you get nervous around some things, shooting deer or whatever.

Yeah. When you, that, I can't imagine having to walk into a store and look at somebody in the eyes and hand them money. No, if I'd ever done something like that, I'd probably just left it in a mailbox. You know, I'd be like, I'd take a picture. I'd have been like the Amazon guy. Like, it's in a mailbox, bro. Well, you remember the last guy who called and said it's his twin brother. And then he returned it to the wrong store.

Yeah, I took it to the wrong store. So nobody'd ever see him. And I was like, well, whatever, man. This girl walked in, tears in her eyes, apologize. Hey. And so I said, hey. Accountability's kidding. Delete the video.

I deleted the video first and I was like, do I leave? And I was like, no, I delete the whole thing. Like, it's all gone. It's in the past. We're going to talk about how, just because you make a mistake, that ain't your identity. No, unless you continue to make the mistake, then you're going to earn that identity. Yeah. But if you do right,

Same thing. What's that? How what? How old. I'm guessing 30-ish, hard to say. Late 20s, early 30s maybe. Something is what it looked like. I don't know her well.

Young enough, she's still got a life ahead of her. And this ain't where you need to be. She's got time to turn it around and end up in a beautiful place with an abundant life here on earth. Yeah, not with two bucks and a cot. Yeah. She got plenty of time, which everybody's got time to turn it around for eternity. But she's got time to turn around here on this earth. And so we're rooting for the best for.

And hopefully, there's another story coming. Hey, girl, I'm not going to say your name, but I know her. I called her by her first name when she walked in. Come by and say hey. Now, if you're shopping, I'm going to walk with you. Learn that. Well, you're going to be on a buddy system if you're looking for something. If you want to come in, sit at the table, talk with me, big.

Dave, my mom. What's 10 out of 10 recommend. I spent a lot of time in there. Spent 30 minutes with a mailman the other day. Sorry if you didn't get your package. Yeah, if you live in our neighborhood in your package, like it was Martin and Montrell's phone. I just kidding Montrell.

I grew up with Montrell, man. So it's always a walk down memory lane with him, man. That boy does not struggle for words. We probably ought to, I'd say bring him in here, but there's no reason for the other three of us to be here. Yeah, it's just going to be the Montrelle show. And I think, no, that's Montrell. Yeah.

Anyway. But yeah, it was a one. weird day. Well, you did for her what Jesus has done for all of us, right? Like, he's got the videos, he's got the proof, and then he takes them down. He's got the receipts. Yeah, he just takes them down. All you got to do is ask them. And it is weird to know what to do when somebody just bald face steals from you. Yeah, you hate that somebody's gotten to that point in their life. Right. Right. Doc light of all things. That was just stealing to steal. But. Yeah, that was just, I need, I'm not going to guess at what she turned that into because I don't want to.

She paid for it. And, you know, There is an... Good for her. Did both of them show back up or just the one? Just the one that actually put in the... Yeah. The distraction somewhere, probably distracting people, who knows. Yeah.

There you go. It was a weird day, man. You know, it's funny. You work real hard on some, like, ads for your Facebook and, you know, 10,000 people see it. You're like, that's pretty good. Yeah. Then somebody steals from you, and it's like the whole town's going nuts. It is.

You had anybody live from you yet? I've had some people... Yeah, I've had some people. live from me at like a trade show in Dallas like they just left the hangar they stole like a two hundred dollar shirt or whatever yeah but it's crazy because in my like you understand like small business if i'm just working something then there's 10 20 people shopping at one time and then you're checking out it's hard to oh yeah keep up yeah and you don't want to yeah there's nothing worse than going into a retail store and somebody just staring at you yeah like expecting you

So I mean, I expect the best out of everybody. It's like, hey, it's stealing from me. And when they do, you're like, it feels even dirtier because you're like, man, we were talking and like asking if you needed anything. Right. Yeah. And she could have used code duck at checkout. Yeah.

And it at least made me laugh. I probably would have given her a discount. Yeah. That was actually, people kept saying, can't wait to hear the story on the podcast and the comments. And I was like, just use code duck at checkout. If you're in that bad of a bind, it might make me laugh and I might give you a discount. Yeah.

Well, at least somehow. I haven't called anyone. yet but I have cameras. Yeah. I don't really, like you said, like I'm not staring down people, but I will say if you're a shop owner and you have discernment, you can kind of like you're saying, have a feeling about some sketchy business going down. Well, that one was like, that was like, did they?

Nope. Oh, yeah, they did. Because I would say, unfortunately, most shoplifters are not that smart. Like, as in doing it, like. No, there's a reason they, you know what I'm saying? Because they've had a history of bad. I'm just saying if you're that down bad, just ask, you know, if you need something.

Yeah. I'm just saying people would be more willing to help somebody out in a pinch than having to go steal. Well, we understand. Good people, you know what I mean? Uh-oh. Oscar's back. Uh-oh. I said he wanted a hot dog.

You better not bring that thing in here. There's a weenie dog. There's a little. How old is that jagger? Uh-oh. Oh, my goodness. Ladies and gentlemen, we have fan mail. He's got the ads.

From Alex. Look at him. Come here, dog. Whoa. Look at these guys. Baby. Si's eyes are Come here

You remember that guy, Si? Yeah, I remember him. I'm very confused by that picture. You're going to have to ask Si, right? That's Si. I know, but who's everybody else in?

I saw Tracea on the corner, right? Trace is Scott? Yeah. Who else? I don't know. Say, name those people. Name that tune. Look at it.

That's Trace's husband. This is Trace's our Scott's first wife. Oh, I didn't know he was married before. Yeah, who passed away. Okay. I had no idea Scott was married before Marcia. Okay.

There you go. I had known Scott a real long time, though, so that checks out. Interesting. Is that like a, is that church? Are those like churches? These are from Olin Mills, and I just want to point out that Sye used to be real big into the button up shirt underneath a sweater. A sweater, man.

That's his country club days, man. Look at that big old deer on that one. Yeah, look at Caddy Shack. I got to take this to Jacob and find out how much this sweater's worth. Let me see that sweater. How much is this sweater worth, Jacob, if we still had it? Probably like 60 bucks. I think that's like a St. John's Bay knit sweater or what's it called?

A Shenandoah. They have a Shenandoah brand that made knit sweaters like that. And they have like ducks on them, deer on them and stuff like that. This guy's like my dad. What is the boot advertisement? Boot advertisement? Yeah. Beans.

LLBine L'O bean. L'O. B. More of its COVID, my name, Jocets. I could be that. They could have made that too.

I, yeah, I clicked on an ad last night for LLBing because they had a woven duck sweater. Except it was $130 bucks, and I was like,

no, I can't. LLBin's a good brand. I think it's a, the bean boots. One of our listeners did send me something unbelievable.

What's that? I got to find it. Is it the monkey? No, we never even talked about the monkey. We got to bring that up next episode. No, no, no.

Uh, the queen of smackover sent me this, dude. Look at it. Remember when I talked about turning a bear into a coat? Wait, what? That's what I'm talking about. That's only $525. See, I had a different reaction. Hey, that ain't bad.

I had a Buffalo jacket. Well, this is coming from the guy that wouldn't I'm going to pay $130 for a duck-knit sweater, but $5.25 for an old bear coat. Who wants that? Me. What? You don't? Oh, that's not a real bear. For what?

You want to be a furry? I mean, what's the deal? I want to be a furry? They get you a little dog bed too. I thought we had real bag. That's like yogi. We'll get you some, what do they call it, puppy pads? It's still cool.

Not everybody that likes fur is a weirdo. Okay, okay. That's what they all say. First thing you do, you start wearing fur, the next thing you do, you start splashing water on your bottle. Hey, we can get you an audition for Brother Bear. Then next day of year, you'll be out there trying to catch a salmon. Right, that would be a cool video. Or you'll be Robin Picnic.

John David catches Salmon with bear coat on. It would be funny to have that coat coat. I don't like salmon. It would be funny. Yeah, pinkfish ain't on the top of my list. Simmons is all right. I like white fish. I like red fish, but pink fish is kind of a weird thing.

And the words is not. You don't like tuna? Well, I call tuna red. Okay, I don't know. It starts off as red. I don't like tuna. I love raw tuna. Yeah.

There's dolphin being caught in the tuna. It's, uh, why nobody care about the, the tuna? You're talking about that. I love tuna. What's the deal? He's talking about canned tuna. Oh, you love, there's dolphin being caught in the tuna. You're like to watch them catch them inners.

I want to do that. Along with some killer. Yeah, I want to do that. I've never really been deep sea fishing, so. Oh, it's fun. Well, you miss it's something. Yeah. When you get the opportunity, you go.

Oh, yeah, you need to go out of Venice and let one of them yellow fins. You need to go let one of them yellow fins whoop you for about. Oh, yeah, that's what I hear it. Take a while. Yeah. Be done and be whooped. You got to catch the first one by yourself. Right.

So that you've done it. Then after everybody, whoever hadn't caught one, when everybody catches one, then you team play it. Everybody go for about 10 minutes because you're just after the grocery. I've seen the videos. I mean,

golly. It's a fight. Yeah. But that first one, you're going to want to sit down a while after that. You never know what when you set the hook. You never know what you got. Yeah.

Yeah. And then half the time it only comes back with its face. Yeah, tax man. Oh, the first three days I went deep sea fishing. All I brought back to the boat was the head. That's because there was sharks looking like Sao with all them teeth swimming around chasing your fish.

Everybody else was catching, you know, 20 pounds, snapper and all this. Hey, I never brought in a whole fish. Nothing but the head. Yeah. This dog's being part of our podcast now. I love that dog. He's a little doshin or whatever.

Come here, weenie dog. He's a wiener dog. He's a wiener dog. That's a wager dog. Is he peeing the house yet? I can't even see Oscar. Oscar, what are you doing, hiding? Oscar's a great name.

The good news is, is when you get dogs like that, at least it's a little puddle. Look at him. Look at them. Get that tail. I think it's funny when people have those dogs and they're like tracking dogs. You've seen that? They're a good dog.

So I had one. Yeah, Merlin. Yeah, old Merlin. Merlin a magician. Yeah, then he got got by a timber rattler. Big rattlesnake got him. Ever since, Cy's been on the prowl for every snake he sees. Bachel wise.

The fangs. The old Merlin got got, but well, we want to get out of here? I got a verse. Romans 3, 23 and 24, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

No matter what you've done in life, no matter if it was something small, whether it was something big, whether you were the worst of the worst, as Paul called himself, who wrote that verse, you've messed up at something. point in your life and you've fallen short and Jesus Christ became a man died on a cross and then three days rose up out of the ground so you can too. Amen. If you hear nothing else from us,

hear that. And we hope you have a great day. For sure. Yeah. Amen. I have a lot of joy. Yeah. And smile. And smile. Ding! With a smile. That real was funny, Hunter, when you added the glisten.