Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Can’t Believe His Old Pal Drank ‘Windex’ Then Survived Brain Surgery!

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Uncle Si is happy to see his old friend Brian Rucker back on his feet following a traumatic brain surgery and he wants to hear all the gory details. Rucker confesses to even more crazy stunts throughout his life, including a “Windex”-drinking incident. Martin pries into Rucker’s family planning situation, and John-David reveals a detail of modern vasectomies that some would rather go without hearing. Willie just happens to stop in just as Si contemplates the gainful employment and management of mythical wildlife. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. Before we get to our guest in here today, just want to remind y'all, if you don't mind, please leave us a rating, review something nice, five stars if you like us, four stars if you don't. No, kidding. Go down to three,

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All right, we got Rucker back. Exciting times. We do. We have our first ever survivor of brain surgery. Rucker, you've had brain surgery now. Something of the sort. Rucker, I got to apologize. Okay.

A lot of people have been asking how you were, and every time I was like, she's still alive. Yeah. That's all we knew. And our fans have been like clamoring to know how you made it out. Well, here's the truth. And here you are with us today. The world has been trying to kill me for a very long time. And there's just, they just, it just hadn't been able to take me out yet.

Fuckers back. So, no, no, I mean, the surgery went really good, you know. I just rolled up there to Jackson, met with your, your man, Dr. House, who, once he cuts your head open. or your ear off. He's a lot more talkative. I guess it takes some time. I mean, that's kind of his thing.

It's an intimate relationship at that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but yeah, basically just cut the ear off, went in there,

took some fat from my stomach, patched it, and reconstructed it, put it back on. Wait, time out, your ear was off? Yeah,

dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Can I? Shout to him. Well, it's funny. I think, like,

so, okay. Oh, yeah, you can tell. I'm just kidding. He did it behind here. He did a phenomenal job. I mean, hands down.

I've never had it done before, but what other people were telling me, he did a great job. Same guys cut both Carter's ears off. Yeah. And so. Like all, not all. Like, laid them forward. That's off to me, but I mean. But I mean, not like ear on the table.

No, you don't take you, but you, you know, it's a foldover situation. 100%. And here's the thing. Whenever I first got back from the hospital, the swelling was still there and stuff for several weeks. I thought my dude made this ear higher. Like, I thought he didn't put it back all the way.

And so I'm sitting there talking to my wife. I'm like, this ears higher up in the other one. You were going to have to get weird haircuts for the rest of your life. That's what I'm saying. I was just like, man, at least,

I mean, get a ruler out, do some level. You know what I mean? Well, I wish he would have. Well, wait a minute.

Okay, the guy actually cut your ear and laid it over to the side where he could go in your head. He got up in there. And what was you, what was you telling me? He took something from your stomach. Yeah, fat from my stomach, which there's an excess of that.

I mean, he's got plenty, you've got plenty to choose. This is a weight loss. Well, wait a minute. He fixed this with fat from your stomach. That's right. That's right. He did some other stuff. He said it was way worse when they got in there.

He actually had to like take some brain matter out that was hanging down. And, hey, throw up the little, you know, the graphic packaging or warning or whatever. Oh, graphic packaging. No, that's just that place that stinks right down there. Yeah. It's a graphic package. Warning parental advisor. No, we're talking about surgeries.

Amazing ain't the word. Unreal. Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, medical, the medical field has, you know. So brain gone fat in. And replace you with fat. Well, so there's an area between your ear canal and your brain. it's the thin layer of bone tissue that's what was that was damaged yeah yeah yeah he said he

said well you know there's a lot of ways this can happen usually it's like some head trauma he's like you ever been in a car wreck or you know been hitting the head real hard i said dude just google me i mean name all of the above yeah yeah i've been in a newspaper for both of them things he said he said well you would have had to get, I mean, he said it, I mean, that's a pretty protected area. I mean, it had to be a substantial hit. I said, man, I flipped a car, flipped it back over, and kept driving before. I mean, I don't, I mean, in the same vehicle I got shot at. Anyways, the point is.

Trauma follows you. Trauma follows me. Followed, let's say past hits. Oh, yeah. No, no, because today we're set free, baby. Wow. Yeah. So, so the surgery went well.

to everybody out there, all of the listeners, man, went well. You know, they said it takes several months for everything to feel normal, but I'm back, I'm back to feeling normal. But it's almost like when it rains, it pours. Yeah. So, you know, I was out. I was unable to work out or train or anything for about a month after the surgery. Well, then I came back from the surgery.

I worked out Monday, worked out Tuesday, trained my jiu-jitsu on Wednesday, and then got a bacterial infection, had like 105 temperature, right? In your ear? Well, I don't know if it was associated to the ear, but it was real. It was there. And then I was out a week for that, came back, right? Worked out Monday, worked out Tuesday, trained Jiu-Jitsu Wednesday, and then broke a rib at Jiu-Jitsu. And so I've been out four weeks, but I'm back now, baby.

Hey, I, can I interest you at jump ropes? I ain't broke a rib yet. I was saying, I'm sorry I'm laughing. No, no, no, that's funny. You got such a remarkable story, okay? Well, and things happen in threes, so you're good. Yeah, now I'm good. Yeah, you're solid for a while, man.

No, my wife said that maybe God's trying to say that, like, your avenues for bettering your health are actually counterproductive. And so that I would say, nay, okay? I'm on team wife on this one. Yeah, well, if you're breaking ribs. So you're not leaking any kind of fluid anymore. Leaking fluid. Not leaking fluids.

Okay. At least nothing I know of. Okay, so that's a good deal. Okay. That's pretty wild. You'd know of the other ones, too. It's been my experience. Oh, that's wild.

Yeah, when you've got a leak as a human, that's a problem. Well, welcome back. Thank you. It feels good to be back. Yeah. You know, I could put headphones on again. That's great. Yeah, how is your hearing?

Rucker. Oh, it's phenomenal. It's good. Well, my hearing never was really off is the crazy thing. I mean, a little muffled, but. But you're hearing 2020, you're solid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good news.

That's pretty good. Praise of Lord, man. No, but to your point, I'll say this, I actually gave me a lot of confidence in it. Because I ain't never been a surgery guy. Like, I've never went in, had surgery. It was a little nerve wracking. Mainly because they got control issues.

You're talking about putting me to sleep. Oh, yeah, yeah. But. You don't want to be awake. No, well. No, if I lay your ear beside your eye, that's a problem. You don't want to see that. Well, when Sa, you know, talks about his heart surgery and stuff and how they did that,

I was like, well, you know, this ain't, this ain't that. I mean, you can peel an ear off and go in. I kind of like a vasectomy, you know, I didn't too bad. That's different. They don't put you to sleep for that. Yeah, though. I'm telling you. That's what I'm saying.

And they're kind of the same. At least he was asleep. Yeah. The medical people have, hey, may I look into that. One off the charts for what they can do. Yeah. Well, what do you think about it?

The doctor reaching in and picking someone's heart up and lifted it up and then said, okay, scaffold, cut the hole inside where you got to put the vein that he took out of my leg. Yeah. And look, in between heartbeats. that's impressive that's that's amazing yeah that's unreal it's also unreal that we're carrying around

a bunch of stuff to patch holes with well no no yeah well no no that's got a buddy hey like him he goes to his stomach get some fat that's what I'm saying to help fix what's wrong with up in his head it's kind of like what God does

he takes the bad and turns it to good and turns it into positive yeah look at us go yeah man we just we could build a whole sermon series we really could Oh, no. That's wild. I'm still trying to get over or wrap my head around the fact that stomach fat is like spackling. Oh, yeah.

Well, you know what I mean? Is the man who remodeled his house a couple of years ago and had to do some sheetrock work? That's just weird. He takes a fat and go up there, you know, just a little buddy-night. Have it a little bit of a little butter there. Yeah. I don't know if he added anything to it to make it harden up or what, but I mean. Pork fat.

Yeah. Just like didn't it. Vinison. Add a little port. Goes a long way. That's crazy. What amazed me about this, okay, is because we don't even know, in my humble opinion, a fraction of what's going on.

Yeah. And yet, you're talking about amazing. Oh, yeah. Okay? This body God made us out of. Yeah. The stuff that can happen to it and then it keeps fun. Functioning?

Oh, yeah. Just don't lose too much weight in case you start leaking again. Well, that's what I'm saying. That way you have something to patch it with, you know. If the pursuit is to have less body fat, I don't know if that's a great idea anymore. Well, less, yeah. None, probably not. I will say this.

The military prove this. Okay. You need extra fat because the guys that are a little overweight, they do way better under stressful situations because they've got a reserve. kind of pull on. I think, hey, you know. I think I'd be the outlier on that data. I don't know.

Well, no, no. The military's proved that through all these tests, you know, with doing all the central stuff. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know.

We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedale's beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. It's our friend, Sao Roberts, would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout,

man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch.

And other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Trial's beef.

I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat either, folks. Yeah. Just go to Try Beef. dot com slash that's try beef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Yeah, so it's like Johnny D for instance, right? I mean, dude's just over here jump ropeing every day trying to get skinned. Now he looks too skinny, in my opinion, right?

Yeah, they don't look right. Yeah. Johnny D does not look right as a skinny person. Somebody get that boy Christmas tree cake. Johnny D, they got, they give me. I don't look right now. No, no, no. A man's got 400,000 ear canals around as well.

and he's telling me I don't look right. But hey, it's true because look, that's why you've got to buy new clothes. I have had to buy new clothes. Because your clothes don't fit. You don't look right. I'm gaining muscle now, though. Well, I mean, yeah, but you don't look right. That's what your next goal should be.

Gained some muscle. The problem, you know what a real problem. You know what they're saying. Pinsely. You got too big of a head. I do have too big of a head. He got too small of a body with too big of a head. Last time somebody sent us free pants, me and you had the same size.

That's what I'm talking about. And I took size pain. That's why you don't look right. That's not normal. He's an 80-year-old man. You're not supposed to have to say. And you can't wear his hat. That is also true.

Us big-headed boys got to stay proportional. I've gained like eight pounds since Thanksgiving. Because you look, you kind of got like a Jackson look about you now. His head just way too big for a toddler body on it. That's why I don't run because I'd fall over. That's why I feel named him horse head. Yeah. But you know what I'm talking about, though.

You see people that, you know, which is good for them. I'm sure, I mean, they're healthier. But like they're a thicker individual. And then they lose all this weight. And you're like, man, I don't know. It just didn't. Yeah. We all have a mutual friend who I shared an office with at one point who's been on this podcast

and Martin is now trying not to cry. He lost more weight than any of us for a minute. And it was, there was. no muscle gained at all and and yeah there's something you look you get worried for them yeah yeah you look like a hospital patient okay i wasn't gonna say that well no because look i'll give you example i was gonna say a bobblehead oh i'll give you example john goward oh he's lost like a hundred pounds he looks great diabetes and stuff he used to have to roll in the boat when he'd get out and do the decoys that's true he'd have to roll in the boat now hey that dude just jumps in the

Like a cat squirrel. Yeah. Like a cat, like a young cat. I mean, it's amazing with losing some pounds. I lost 90 pounds. But this is when you know you're overweight. When you lose 90 pounds and literally nobody notices. They're like, they're like, dude, they're like, you lost 90 pounds.

You know what? Now that you say it, you kind of lose. It was a fintia that was in that haircut of yours that used to have. Me and Rucker went through a spell and Martin. And I'm glad we all went through it together. It was called 2016. All in one of us was getting paid for that haircut. Yeah.

Easy. Easy. I was just keeping up the look. I was trying to help you guys. I always begged the idea. I was like, you got too much going on, man. That's a lot.

It was a lot. Take a pair of scissors to some of that, please. Look at us now. We're all young. Your beard, your beard had some girth, buddy. It still does. Yeah, but I mean, back then, bro.

Back then it had some length. Back then, your headphones would be squarely inside of your beard right now. I had a beer. It was there. It was very unkempt, I think the... Yeah, and you still had three kids. So good old Allison, man.

She powered through. Good for her, man. What a life. Poor lady. Yeah, I can't imagine why, but good for her, man. Well, now I look like a skinny bobble head patient of the hospital. Hospital patient is what I was going for. I stumbled upon that.

Look, I just think you need to put on some muscle. Do you want arm wrestle? Oh, oh. We could. Oh, wow. Here we go. Which is your good ear? I don't want to hurt.

Do it. Oh. Arm wrestle. They're both good. We got cameras. Hunter said, go. The smallest kid in the room's like, y'all fight. Yeah.

Hunter's just back there just being creepy. This is fantastic. No, but look, I missed you guys. I was thinking that the other day. I was like, man, it's been a while since I was at. Well, we had to let you heal. You couldn't put headphones on. Yeah, that is true.

Yeah, we had to. I'd let you get back to 100%. Well, Beth reached out to me like a week after the surgery, and she's like, hey, you want to come? I was like, I don't think I can. Hey, you don't say no to these people. I'll never call you again. I really, I kind of wish I'd have seen you.

Did you take, like, pictures of the healing process? I kind of want to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I want to know what you look like when you thought your ear was higher than the other. Johnny, D, I'm going to send you some of these so that you can put them on. I can see Rucker taking a ruler. There's some. Hold on.

I, like, hold on that. Hold, let me get this. Rucker, are we level? Rucker would have had one of them laser rulers. Oh, boy. The laser levels. He's going to call Mac and say, Mac, now I need you to, you're master carpenter.

I need you to make sure he put this ear back where it's supposed to be. Here, boys. You need to tweak just a little bit. It's a little higher. Johnny, D. I'm going back. I'm seeing you a few of these just so that you can. Yeah, there we go.

And it's still. I was about say, Kaylee, his wife, posted some on Facebook. I was going through those, but it's still hard for me to. He's got his cap on. It's hard for me to him in a weird way. Stomach fat is fat. Air dropping too is probably the easiest way. You got a Mac computer right there.

If you texted them, that'd already be there. Sometimes the good people at... It's in your downloads folder. I'm going to... I'm getting it. It's download now. If you had to text them, they'd already be there. Apple, sometimes you got ideas that are just too much. Like this latest update, trash.

Yeah. Well, AirDrop. Don't get me started on. update. Here's my thing. Uh-oh. Well, we just did. Well, look, every time I update my phone, it's like you're trying to persuade me to get a new one because you drain my battery down. I mean, isn't that proven at this point that there's some manipulation there? Maybe, but the problem now is like, I can't go find a photo from yesterday. They put them in something. Okay. There's Rucker with the classic ear bandage. Yeah, ma'am.

Rucker on a selfie life. Well, I was, you know, the pain medication. was still highly active at that point. Did it hurt? Oh, yeah. I mean, I was... Here's Rucker, giving the deuses to the... That's me walking out with a shirt that says alive. And we're glad he lives alive, but he sent me three photos.

And I've only shown you the two that are okay. What's the next one? There is a grand finale of the photos. It was second in the order. Oh, please. This is my favorite one. Big Daddy. Oh, that's your plug.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where they got it. You know what I mean? Okay. Are you asleep standing up in this photo? Again, pain meds were still highly active. As you see, I'm attached to the cords. Yeah, he's got some drips going on now.

You know what I mean? I feel you. Did that spot on your stomach hurt too? Not really. That was all. No, the stomach didn't really hurt that much at all. Cool scar? Yeah, it's pretty cool.

That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, you know, if I can put eyes on what's hurt, me, it seems like it makes it feel better. I don't know if y'all are like it. Yeah, when you can't find it, that's a problem. But when you can't see, like, behind my ear and in my head, it's weird. Still to this day, like, I can press, like, it's still, he said it takes several months, but like, I can press on the back of my head and fill it in my ear.

It's just weird, man. That's incredible. You had your ear. Brian Rucker, modern marble. Yeah, love it. But, okay. So, well, good. You've recovered from brain surgery.

Life is good. Yeah. Christmas time is here. here, Johnny Dee's favorite song. He played it on his Instagram. Christmas time is. You know who I got that from? Willie Robertson.

He won't stop. And when you hang out with him for 10 years, you'd go through a few Christmases together, and he screamed it every day. And it got stuck in my head. I'm sure it's only worse now with a grand kiss, too. Oh, poor. Well, I just, man,

the people that listen to Christmas music during the month of December. Oh, no. Where are you going with this? I just, it's like, all right, so, you know, the local radio station, right? They just start playing Christmas music in December. Well, you got those people that just don't change the station. They're just every time they get in the car, every time they drive, wherever they go.

Just Christmas music. It's Christmas time. I understand. In fact, Christmas time is here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get that. There's the whole song about that. He get that, but not just over and over and over.

It's just like, come on. Yeah, change the channel. The music, the tree, the lights, the, the whole deal. I just, I mean. Scrooge. I'm not a Scrooge. You just said you were, you just described it Scrooge and then said I'm not a Scrooge. I'm not.

I like Christmas. Grinch, does that? That's probably a little bit more accurate. Yeah. Do you say Merry Christmas or Felice Navidad? It depends on who I'm talking to. If it's family, it's police not be odd. If he's back in Houston, he says it depends on who I'm talking to.

Yeah, I just, you know. I didn't know you were a Grinch, Rucker. No, I'm not. I love Christmas. You just complained about lights, trees, and music, and then said you love Christmas. There's just so much expectations around Christmas time. And it's like you got to go. Do you need to talk about it? Well, you got to go to this party.

You go to that party here. I can't take. Look, you throw the book. Here's the problem. I'll tell you probably stop you right here. Rucker used to show up at every party because it was free food. Bingo. Now a boy makes a little bit of money.

All of a sudden, I don't want to go. I can buy my own food now. Well, now I have a whole family. It's like, oh, we got to go here. We got to do that. Oh, you used to be single on the turkey try. I used to, man, I go anywhere I wanted to. Remember the turkey try?

You know what I mean? I go anywhere I want it. He'd be it Randy of Joe Nils and slip on over to Big Dave and Jans. Hey, what's Alan Lisa up to? I'll do that. I mean. It was magical. I was proud to know it.

It was a beautiful time. Hey, but the whole time he was making ear patches. We just never knew it. And now he's married and he doesn't get to do what he wants to do. Yeah. There it is. I mean, because here's, and I mean, Christmas is just expensive, guys. Okay, I didn't realize how expensive it was.

You know, I mean, for the majority of my Christmas experience has been, okay, I go do whatever, eat wherever, you know, to your point. And then I just buy gifts for this one child, this one person. Yeah. That's out. Yeah. That is out. Yeah.

Now it's a, oh, we got a white elephant party. You buy the gift coming. Like, come on. Okay, so I'm a Christmas person. We know. Hence the shoes. Can we get a tight on the shoes? I love, I've been wearing these shoes all week.

I love Christmas. They're red, white with green shoelaces. But there is nothing worse than a $20. Everybody brings something, and we're going to steal the gift. That's not fun. Yeah. Well. Nobody's in.

enjoying that. We ought to do it in here. We're all four just going to bring a Yeti cup and we're going to go home with it. Right. I can find something else. 20 bucks. 20 bucks?

Yeah, that's big. Here's the deal. But then you show up and it's like, hey, Si's with this. Let me just, if it's $20 and Sao wanted it, he bought it 10 years ago. That's true.

Hey, I would bring a $20 and just say, Hey, there's your $20 bill. Leave me on. I found something worth $20. I want to. See? And I'm so tight, I'd bring something worth 18, just to feel like I won. Well, look, I'll tell you what I did at one of these little parties.

So I spoke at the church one time, and I used a Windex bottle in an illustration. Basically, the... Go ahead and break that down. Well, so what I did is I put Blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. I remember this. Yeah, yeah. And so I was up there, and I was talking about, like, make the outside match the inside, and what you put off might not be. you know, what's actually on the inside of you.

Anyways, so I set it all up. I had my buddy bring me, I said, man, I got stuff all on my screen. It's tough for me. Can you give me some Windex or something? Well, he brings up a Windex bottle. And I act like I sprayed on my screen and I wipe it off. And then I was like, man, Windex, it's cool. It's such a beautiful color.

You ever just wondered what it tastes like and I sprayed it in my mouth? Right. And so then everybody, everybody was like, Oh my God. You know what I mean? And I was like, I felt like that's the part of this that should have come with a disclaimer. Well,

yeah. Don't do that. Not the ear patch. Yeah, yeah. Don't do that. It was not Windex. It was blue Gatorade in a Windex Bob.

Yeah. Kids out there. Yeah. And so anyways, I drank. And then I was like, what are you all freaking out about it? I opened it up and I drank some,

right? And then I was like, oh, you thought that this was Windex because of how it was presented in the packaging. You don't know that it's Gatorade in here. Right? And then it's kind of like some of y'all are walking around trying to clean things up when you live with the thing inside of you that can quench thirst, right? Anyways, don't get me fired up.

But so for this white elephant thing one day, what I did is instead of going and buying a gift, I took that Windex bottle because it was just sitting in my fridge in my office. And then I made a certificate of authenticity. And I put it in a bag with the certificate of authenticity and gave that as that. the gift at the white elephant thing. And so somebody... And that's why white elephants suck, because somebody got that and somebody got a Yeti cup and it's not fair and it's stupid. That's why elephants are great. But I felt like I won, like, to your point, I felt like I won that one. You know what I mean? Yeah, you did. You know what I like doing? Who bought the Windex bottle

originally? Oh, you know, I couldn't even tell you. Yeah. Took that out of the cleaning supplies. Yeah, you did. I think I actually did. I might have took it from the church janitor. That's what I'm talking about. So you took a $20 gift and you didn't pay nothing for it. Well, you may have been out to Gatorade, I guess. You know, though? No, we did buy the Gatorade. We did buy the Gatorade. There you go. The only thing better than that at those parties is going like quadruple over the budget and making people fight. Yeah. That's a good. That's generally my move. Yeah. I like to, I just like to watch people scrap over. Well, and look, you know, you get, you get friends that are, you know, well off or wealthy, you know, and they, they're, they, they're, they're, they're, Their little hand-by-down gifts are different, right? That's like, you know. Than a Windex bottle? Oh, no, no. Like, they got like gold chains, like just stuff.

Who are you hanging out with the gives out gold chains at Christmas? I don't want to say their name on here. But I mean, there's, I mean, but it's a, women, right? They got these extra little chains. You look it up. Oh, that's like a $150 little chain. Just handing out. You know what I'm saying?

A man starting to sound like a sticky bandit. That's what's really happening here. Like, this is, this is getting wild, man. I ain't never seen any gold chains. My number one, my favorite white elephant gift, though, when you got to do that stuff, is the amount of money in scratchoffs. Yep. Just because I like to let the people wonder.

Oh, yeah. It could be 20. I spent 20 bucks. You could win a thousand. Who won't see? Who wants to risk it, boy? I steal those every time. I'm like, give me, I want the lottery tickets because the opportunity is far greater.

I show up with a penny in my pocket just in case I end up with them. Like, I'm scratching it. Now people will get the prank scratch off tickets. They make fake ones? Well, they look legit, but you scratch them off, it'll say you won like $5,000, but it's not real. It's a joke. That's hateful.

It's very rude. Yeah, that's hateful. That ain't right. Yeah, I'm not against the holidays. It's just now there's so much expectations. I'm tired. My budget's out the window. Yeah, you cheat.

You know what I mean? Like, I mean. My budget, gone, gone. Yeah. Yeah. Allison finished up yesterday. At least your kids growing right now. Yeah, well, it's a whole, it is, dude, I will say it's a lot easier now that he's a teenager. I mean, he wants two things.

Money, money, and a car. You know what I mean? So, but next year he'll get a V, he's going to get a truck. But I'm going to teach him the value of humility in this truck, right? I already got it planned out. What was the car you first showed up in? It was a black Jeep. Black Jeep Patriot.

Hey. It literally had a tire mark on the side for me getting in a high-speed chase and somebody trying to run me off the road. We need to get your son a black Jeep Patriot. Oh, that would be awesome. That thing was legit. It'd be cool if we could still find that same Jeep. Nope.

Nope, not that one. No, you want to get him something real nice. Somebody sent me a picture the other day of our old RV from up here. It's still wrapped. It's in Derritter, Louisiana. What is somebody doing? with that thing. I didn't even remember us selling it, to be fair.

I don't even remember us getting there. It was like one day it was just gone. I know. But a guy sent me a picture. He said, I think of y'all every time I drive past this thing. And I said, okay, where is that?

Is it just like sitting? It's on the side of the highway in Derritter, Louisiana. So, which is, where's the Ritter? About around Alexandria, just north of Alexandria or something like that. That's about Fort Pope. Yeah. I used to live there. DeRitt.

You used to live in De Ritter? Yeah. There you go. Every episode we learned something new. What was your job in De Ritter? I was in the Army. He's in the Army. Yeah, he's stationed down there then.

I went somewhere, okay, and I had a McDonald's, hey, stop get your tea here on the side. Yeah. So I went in there and I worked the window. You and Donald Trump? You and Trump, baby. Go on. Go on.

Yeah. I was. I was. wouldn't do that. You couldn't pay me enough to do that. Mark the window and a drive-door? Yeah, I was. You couldn't pay me enough.

I'm serious. Oh, people get order in. Oh, no. Yeah, it was hilarious, though. Oh, man. Y'all, they'd pull up, they'd hear me talking. You know, and they, it's in on their mind when they're driving up to pick up their food. Mm-hmm.

I know that. I know that voice. Yeah. Where do I know that from? Yeah. When they drive up to the window and I said, that'll be 1350. Yo, it's shell shock. Oh, yeah.

Trucker, what year married now? Yep, over a year. Over a year. Over a year. How is it? Man, why is marriage so hard? Can we just have that conversation? Because used to on Christmas, you did the turkey trot and went wherever.

We've already discussed this. And now you're complaining about Christmas as a whole. Well, I talk about this a lot. It's like, man, you know, when God gives you all the things you pray, for. Now you have to live with it. Now you have to steward it. No, no, I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why. Yeah. Okay. Marriage is like a garden. If you've ever raised any garden of any size. I had a plant. It was illegitimate. There.

There's a lot of work going on. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got trimming of bud. Okay, because, hey, look, you both got excess baggage. Yep. that you bring to this union. Yeah. And you've got to learn to deal with that.

And he got some stuff that smells like poop that ain't fertilizer. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually just poop. You hadn't been married about a year, you know, if when the children come along, then that's another thing that you've got to deal with. Okay. And that's a whole new, that makes you a whole new ball game.

That's the question. You got to know. Yeah. Rucker? When are new Ruckers? Is that our new Ruckers in the... We want to talk about that with all of America. I'm just wondering, I don't need to know your schedule.

Is it a discussion? People used to ask Martin all the time. Yeah, no, I mean, people ask us all the time. I'll say this, having a teenager is pretty good birth control. You know, because you, you know, it's like, hey, do we have a kid? Do we not have a kid? well, then you look down the hall and there's this 15-year-old dude. Just like, I mean, and you're like, you know what?

There stinks. Maybe we can wait. You know what I'm saying? Maybe we can wait. Because you robbed the cradle a little bit. Yeah, yeah, no, she's 10 years. She's 10 years younger than me. So there's, it's an interesting dynamic at the Rucker household.

You got 15, 25, 35, right? Yeah. There's where a lot of the. Okay. That's where a lot of, you know what I mean? Well, you hit that half your age plus seven right on the nose, buddy. Like if you're 35, because then that's 17 and a half plus 7, 24 and a half and she 25, oh, you right on a nose.

Some people break that rule. Good, yeah. Or stone. What, yeah? Yeah, she still got plenty of time on her clock then. That's a good analogy, though. But here's the other thing. I don't want to be like, I don't want to be like 55 with a kid in high school either.

I mean, I really. What are you trying to say, big dog? Oh, whoa, hey everybody. Yeah. But it's a little bit. I'm going to be that guy. But it's a little bit different, Martin. In all fairness, if I make it to 55, that's going to be a miracle.

Okay. You're almost guaranteed 55. You know what I'm saying? No. Oh, that's. I don't know. You don't live in my house. Oh.

Wow. Um, hold on. So he is. Rucker with a new board, that's that, that, that, something I need to experience. I'd like to know about it. And then I would, here's what I'll tell you. I would like to have you on the show when it's like I'm, the baby's a month old so I can just laugh at you. Oh yeah.

Well, look, I've done this before. Oh, I'm aware. It's just been a while. It has been a while. And if you think the schedule right now is a toughie. Oh, yeah. Go here, go there. Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, it's tough. Yeah. No, but here's the beautiful thing. Number one, I got a built-in babysitter. Okay, his name's Noah Rucker. All right. For three more years. Three more years, you better get to rolling.

Built-in babysitter, right? And we've already had this discussion. I'm like, look, you're going to babysit the kid. And he's like. Okay, so the discussion has happened. There's discussion. Does he want a sibling? What's his thoughts?

Well, yeah, man. No, I just care it. He just winked at me. Oh, wow. We may be there. Rucker, are you winking at me? Are y'all going like to the doctor today or something? No high blind glass.

All right. We're not going to say nothing else. Yeah, yeah. What an interesting thing that just happened right here. I feel like I just watched the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer jumped out the window saying, Jerry, she's late. She's late. I'll say this. The discussion has become ramped up.

Ramped up. There's a ramped up discussion. Here's the deal with marriage. You get into all these scares. You know what I mean? We call them pregnancy scares, okay? All right. Oh, Hunter.

I thought Hunter was saying like, like, where we go, boy? You know the feeling, I'm sure. Hunter doesn't know the feeling. Yeah. Well, anyways, there was recent pregnancy scared, and I told Noah said, hey, look, you're going to have to watch the kid. And he's like, watch it. He's like, look, I'll watch it, but I ain't changing no diapers.

And it's like, yes, you will. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. To be honest with you, I don't know that you want a 15-year-old boy changing diapers because they're not smart enough to do it right but unless it's unless it's a little boy well if it's a little but it's a little girl it's going to be some questions come up but you probably aren't ready yeah yeah true

i got too many kids yeah yeah well how many you got now seven good nine that's not three three that's true but that young that youngest one count for two yeah so so yeah man you know i i think it's in the cards uh you know sounds like it's very much in the car It's in the cards. So what I'm hearing is y'all aren't actively preventing. So therefore you're trying. Ain't no goalie involved. Yeah.

There's not a goalie. Yeah. But I will say, yeah, now, I mean, you know, there. I've never heard Rucker tongue tied until this very, yeah. Man, we just announced it to the world by accident. No, no, no, no, no. There's no announcement. There's no announcement.

Everybody look at it. These cameras don't even. Look into this one, Rocker. Hey, there's no announcement. No announcement. But there is a possibility. There's always a possibility. I mean, we live in a world of possibilities.

I mean, look at my life. Okay, there's possible. It is possible. Okay, he is able. Yes, he is. Amen. You know? Yes, you are.

Angel Gabriel will go have to show up at my house for that to come up. Oh, boy. Did you do the snip? You sniffed up? They don't snip anymore. They burn. Oh, they just sizzle that thing. Yeah, it smells like whenever you see her duck breast.

It's wild. Man, just a little carterize. Remember whenever he was telling the story? I'd I go in there and just pull that out. It's a titsch-s-s-s. Yeah. Instead of a zizz-z-it. Yeah, then it's a burn, yeah.

Kind of cool. I had a friend of mine. I told him to take a little off each end. I said, don't just make a single cut. You can take a little off each end there, Doc. Let's make sure these things don't get back together. You don't hear about those going wrong very often anymore, but I had a friend. Last year

Yeah, they do go wrong. They'll go wrong on you. Yeah. Yeah. You hang out with my three kids long out, though. You get three or four of them things just to be sure. First comes to mind, hey, with man, you're limited, but with God, everything's possible. Amen to that.

Rucker. And I mean, we're talking 100% certainty on these things nowadays. There's no like, oh, accidentally it's still. On what? On the pregnancy, too? No. You'd like to hope so. Yeah.

Boy, I sure am. You're going to be 55 with a kid in high school, big dog. Yeah. The math don't work unless you've got some kind of like young Sheldon genius or something, which. That math works. Which is possible. But, I mean, yeah. Yeah, I mean, anything's possible.

Anything possible. He is able. He is able. It's going to take him. But because the paraphala kids do graduate at 20 these days. One of them's going to be yours. That one's going to be held back. The pick tape.

Depictate. It is. For those of y'all who are wondering, I've made up words before. Many times. That's the one thing you and I got in common. Yeah. Y'all take bits and pieces of other words and put them together and, you know, just roll with it. It's fine.

But you know who else? I've met people that do that and people don't even mention. Yeah, you work in recovery. Right. But no, no, no. I mean, I'm talking about. That was low-hanging fruit. To my recovery family, I love you all.

Stay the course. Keep showing up. Keep coming back. That's it. That's it. Yeah. So, no, no, like Trent. You remember Trent, right?

Langhofer. Langhofer. Yeah, that's two words put together. Yeah. He used to do the same thing, but nobody checked up because he got a degree. But I'm like, I got you. Also recovery. Also in recovery.

Valid point. There's just, there's like, Mac Owen. Oh my gosh. Makes up words. Gobwin does, but I think that's just because he don't understand. Say somebody emailed him. I don't think English was Gobwin's deal. I don't think language.

Neither was handwriting. Danny from Minnesota emailed in, Martin. He got a sock up in the mail autographed. He said, I don't know what this says. That says John Gobwin ham sandwich. I can tell you what that says. Very simple. Only because I've seen it.

I emailed it back. I said, I got that one. But only because I... I love Gobwin. You do not want to get behind him in like an autograph line. Because he's going to write ham sandwich on... Every time. Every one of them.

But, I mean, you got to because his signature does not look like it says John Gobel. I don't know what it says, but it don't say John Goblin. It's just like a J and some stuff back there. But, man, signature... Congratulations on winning the teacup. Oh, we've got a few email in. I feel bad for this guy. They get yours.

He got me and he knew it was me because my signature is J, scribble, scribble, scribble, Scribble, Scribble, D. Yeah. Oh, there you go, Johnny D. He's even smiling about it. Hey, look. Oh, man, look at that guy. I feel terrible for this guy because he could have got side he got me, but he's excited.

He's a Chiefs fan. He's good. Oh, yeah, he wins and everything. You deserved me. You actually deserve nothing. Yeah. I'm upset you got that, Declan. I saw that pin it behind his head.

The fun thing is... It's so dangerous to send pictures into this because Martin notices everything in the background. Martin's like, hey, your two dogs are really going at it back there in the... How did you see that? That's the one thing I look at on pictures is all the stuff surrounded them. But you got to have that guy in the group. I mean, we pulled up a picture of me holding a fish and he told you exactly what was on the boat.

I had to look at it. He's very observant. I had, yeah, I'm an observationist. I like to look around at things. Observationalist at heart. No, but so I packed all those orders. So, y'all are welcome. Like, I picked the winners of all the teacups.

I just went in there. So if you didn't win, Blame Martin. So we ain't been in there in a while. Hello, that call room dock. You know, I do like a kid's first deer picture. And I've been trying to show, we've been getting a lot. But I'm showing some of them. Chris from Hilton's Georgia.

Nope, that is way. off. Hilton's Virginia. Oh, wow. I was going to say, man, this one. Okay. Daughter Peyton, we're going to put the picture up. We'll see what Marks.

There you go, girl. Yeah, there we go. Good looking deer. I appreciate that for a kid's first deer. I like that her boots match her hood, man. See? I knew he'd noticed something. Pink fringes. That's awesome.

Look at that smile on her face, though. That is why you take kids hunting right there, buddy. That is fantastic. Congratulations. Peyton? Peyton. Congratulations.

Sometimes you get a kid's first deer and it's just like, I mean, a massive trophy. And then you're like, you know, like, man, it's hard to, it's hard to want up there. Hey, we just got back from Three Eagles Ranch down southwest Texas. And Sage killed Herbuck. And it was like 22 inside Fred. Oh, yeah. Huge.

Yeah, Sage could lay down in beside it. Huge. Yeah, big. You know, on the last one, we had young Titus here to kill his first duck, I can't report we did get that done. Oh, you didn't get that. It was a small miracle, but we got it done. He killed, his first duck was a green wing teal.

All right. That's what I'm talking about. And then he ended up killing two more. So first one, we got him one to land and he shot it on the water. Amen. And we ground swatted that hen, that hen green wing teal. And then a Drake teal come flying through there just kind of tipping over the decoys. And I said, well, kill him.

And he raised up and he killed him. Flying. And yeah, flying. And then he shot, the last one, he shot him a big pretty shoveler. That's what I told him. He got the full experience of it all. That's awesome. It was a small miracle that we killed what we killed.

Well, because ducks, it ain't been very good. Oh, it ain't hit no much. No, it ain't hit no much at all around here. So the fact that we found some dumb ones in the clouds and no wind to come through there. You know what I said. I said, look at God. Oh, yeah. That was, they have nothing to do with us or nothing.

I just look at God, man. That's awesome. We got any more first pictures? I don't have any more first pictures, but I have one that we've been needing to talk about. Okay, that's fine. Jake from Pennsylvania. from State Farm. He just wants to say that Hunter

is officially his favorite duck call room personality. I love it. Right. And I have been saying, I wanted to let Jake know, I want a Hunter camera, and I want Hunter to have a camera on him,

and so do other people, but Hunter has said no. Whoa, hey, hold on timeout. If you're going to be a personality, you got to have a guy. He doesn't want to be a personality. It's been talking about. But he is a, Hunter, you can,

Hunter camera We'll see what happens In the new year In the new year I mean we kind of low on budget Do we need to start like a go fund me for a hunter cam We're thinking about putting up a GoPro I think GoPro's are pretty easy to get

There you get a hunter cam Welcome Beth everybody welcome Beth Beth in my house Beth just Beth heard we're trying to get a hunter camera And she walked in She shut it now No we cannot

I'm always a fan of a Beth cam too Let's just get one on our studio audience That actually is not a, like put it up here. Let's get one there that goes that way. Oh, yeah. You could just put one in this back corner. Actually, my favorite part of a hunter cam would be to see all the times he cringes when we change topics on some things. Because I've seen the boy go, I mean, just like, he's like,

Whenever I was talking about them sizzling the vasectomy, I looked over in Hunter's eyeballs were the size of. I can't imagine that. Oh, yeah, well, have three kids and then you'll volunteer. Yeah. One day you'll live that truth, hon. And you'll realize that it's not that bad. And if they ask you to do it every three years, you would. I'd do it every six months.

You get an ice cream, get your feet up for a weekend. Yeah, you get a full weekend off. Whatever you want to do. Just plan it on like a good football and a good basketball weekend. And you're set. Before you start that next email, I wanted to say. Hunter Cam. Oh, Hunter Cam.

He's gathered his thoughts. He's ready to retort. Back on the Hunter Cam thing, I guess. I have a lot of weird stories that my coworkers call Hunter Stories. and I've been making a list for the next time that I come in. Hunter, not 10 minutes ago, you accidentally said roundhouse kicked and then you said, yeah, my dad once did that to my sister in the face. And I was like, what?

That's one of the stories. That fits with Southwest Wash Top Parish. Yeah, man. To tee this up for another day, I have a story with the mafia in Baton Rouge. They start with the numbers three and six. So, therefore, I'm riding spinners. I've got a bunch of weird stories the next time you guys are ready. Oh, late night tip over here.

Okay. Hey, the more hunter, the better according to Pennsylvania, which is a weird state. But also it makes sense. Most of your fans will come from. Oh, I bet that's his grandpa. Okay. No hunter cam. I'm not from Pennsylvania.

I just have a lot of family there. My mom's from Pennsylvania. Oh, no wonder they want a hunter. can. Yeah. There you go. That probably is his grandpa. This is erroneous.

A lot of calf tattoos. The 70-year-old grandpa got a driver's license two years ago, which is tight, by the way. Dude, I got a driver's license not too long ago also. What else you got? Go ahead. Should we do one more? Yeah, we should. Yeah, let's do one more.

Because I think we're taking a little break. We've got some in the can. We're taking a little hiatus. Christmas time is here. I don't know if you've heard. We're all going to go to. And I'm not making an appearance on Unashamed or something, too. I don't know what's happening, but we've got some great stuff coming up.

Yeah. But this is going to, this is the latest email. He came in 16 minutes ago. So we're going to do the latest email and then we're going to go for Christmas. Ryan from Ramswear, North Carolina. Probably not how you pronounce it. North Kekyllak. North Kekylleg.

He was wondering, and I've never thought about this, if you could talk to animals what animal would it be and what would you ask it oh that's easy we got ruckers that's easy enlighten what animal would I talk to a lion

what would you ask a lion that's why is your breast tank no what's it what's it feel like to be the king of the jungle he don't know he's king now he knows he's king Have you ever watched the line? Yeah, but they don't even live in a...

They sleep all down. They don't even live in a jungle. I've never understood that. Name one king you know that actually does work. Okay? My man don't got to work. He's the king of the jungle. That's a great observation that lions and human politics are very alike.

Joe Biden, lions, sleep all day. The women do the work. No, she didn't do nothing either. Oh. Oh. Never mind. We can't. I can't.

Never mind. I've never thought about this. I talk to ducks every day. That's actually true. It's via a duck call. And I ask them, will you please come over here? And then they say,

sure. And I say, well, thank you, Bob. But it's really kind of a one-sided conversation. See, but you've got to think about that question.

I mean, you're talking about, like, so I think that pets are a problem. Okay, me personally. But I think that most people, like,

they're like, oh, if you could talk to an animal, they'd be like, oh, I want to talk to my pet, right? Because it's a member of the family and all this jazz. You used to be jolly. Now you hate Christmas and you hate pets. I don't hate Christmas.

I don't, just, I realize what being a, I don't know how did you get so mean? I'm not mean, man. I just, he lived a little, bro. Let me say this. I've always felt that way about pets. And y'all should know this about me. Okay.

I'm going to probably side closer to Rucker than I am others, but continue. If you're spending extreme amounts of money on an animal to live in your house and soak up air condition, part of the problem. I would have two animals. One of them would be a reindeer. What? And then, I'd ask you what kind of boss is Santa Claus? Oh, my God. Hey, I ask him.

Hey, it's Willie Rob. I know you work here. Yeah, yeah. sometimes. Hey, do you treat your reindeer's right? Oh, my gosh. Okay. See, I'm going to.

He said I would talk to reindeer. Oh, my gosh. Well, yeah, good. Dude, you got to. What is happening? I moved the microphone so Willie can talk into it. Now I broke this one. He broke and he breaks them all the time.

Luckily, we're going on break. Yeah. So read us a verse. Hold on it and read us a verse. Hold on. Hold on. I would talk to like a whale of some sort. Well, that would be absolutely pointless.

It's the biggest animal. No, it ain't an animal. What is it do? What is a whale do? It could eat a lion, and I would have an army of whales. If you put a lion, if you put a lion in the ocean, yes, the lion loses. Every time. You put a whale in the jungle.

The whales losing, baby. That's right. Oh, yeah, he's going to choke. I just feel like if you rule the sea and you have an army of whales. Wait a minute. They don't rule the sea. Are we talking orcas? Are we talking like.

I was sick say. All of them. Killer whales. I like killer whales now. Sure. I'm with him. I mean, Free Willie was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I mean, I'm just going to.

Can you imagine if he didn't make that jump? Yeah, dude. Oh, me. Oh, dude. Michael Jackson. Oh, all right. Anyway. Man, so thankful he made that jump.

Ephesians 320 is a verse that comes to mind when I see Rucker. Now, to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever, amen. Have yourself a Merry Christmas. Have a great new year. We're still going to be pumping out content. All jokes aside, Merry Christmas, everybody.

Hope you enjoy it with your family. it's the birth of Jesus. But just keep your pets out of it. Thank you, Savior for your not. You're not stocking up for that dog.