Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Confesses Which Part of 'Duck Dynasty' Was Made Up for TV!

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Uncle Si learns the hidden history of the Duck Commander warehouse and how John-David’s family was essential to its purchase. Godwin learns he has to miss out on the new Little Debbie Park in Tennessee, and he mumbles his disagreement with the boys who accuse him of mumbling. Si’s recent PBS watch has him pitting unlikely creatures against each other, at least in his mind. Martin gives some advice to a young man whose manhood is on the line as he wonders if he should take a girl on a date in his beat up truck or her sleek BMW. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My people get your people and we'll make a podcast. Hunter, are you ready to make a podcast? He's not ready. Martin, are you ready to make a podcast? I'm ready. I'm ready. I think I'm currently going to make a podcast. I got coffee.

Guy one's got coffee. There's construction happening all around us. Construction? Construction? Cleaning ladies, man. Yeah. So if you hear anything while we're recording this one, like, or we get distracted.

There's been booming and banging and sawing and all sorts of things. How many people work here now, Martin? 400? Still the same amount. I don't really know what we're doing. Are y'all renting out offices to... I hope so. If it made my rent go down on this place, I'm welcoming.

The more the mayor here, come on in. We've got spaces for rent. Who wants to come in? I would call it a warehouse, but it ain't a warehouse no more. It's just an office building at this point. It's an office building now. Yeah, it's kind of lost some of its mystique. I remember, look, when Willie told us we're moving up here, me and Goblin were the first two on the premises.

And we walked in this place and said, now do what? Why in the world are we moving here? Yeah. Like, I mean, at that time, we had about 14 different duck calls, maybe. Well, there would no way we can have enough room here. Yeah. We ain't ever, we ain't ever going to fill this place up. You know, a crazy story about that?

What? Because, you know, my dad used to run. this place when it books got. Oh yeah, he's one that punched a hole in the wall. Well, allegedly. Allegedly. But I'm just going off stories. Just going off folklore.

Yeah, like Christmas Past or something. I used to drive a fork or forklift around here when I was like, well, maybe you put the hole in the wall. Could have been. But Willie was, he was showing Willie around, and Will he was like, ain't no way that I can ever use all this. And Dad told him that day, like one day, this one day, this one won't even be big enough for Doug Commander.

I don't know if he believed that or was just trying to make a sale, but he said it. So it's on record. Yeah, good for him. He called it. Yeah. Thanks, Big Dave. And Big Dave also called Sadie had like a little school play and he went up to her afterwards, like way before Duck Nine.

He said, hey, can I get your autograph? I want to be one of the first ones to have this for when you go big time. So Big Dave says something. He ain't ever said nothing like that to me. Yeah, well. That's kind of depressing. Now you know. Doesn't see it.

I'm not going to go sit and talk to him tomorrow or more. I don't need to know what the next five years of my life looks like. Apparently he can call it. Stay away from that prognosticator. But it is weird because this was like the only room in this place. Like everything else is open warehouse and there was a little room back here that they did who knows what in. I know. The Gugon room.

Oh, removing stickers from books or something. Whenever books came back and they had like stickers from Walmart or something on them, you had to come in here and get them all nice and clean. So that little shelf was OG. Yep. Was here. And I think that desk was too. We built this stuff.

Like that's an old shot show booth. That's what's fun. Like those were the doors where you could see the duck calls. The display case off the shot show booth. We just kind of like messed around and made us a little something there. But this right here has been here the whole time. That guy right there. Knock on wood.

Yeah. The only thing it's missing is there used to be an arbor press on this end for me. But other than that, that was what we walked into. And they said, y'all going to be back here. We're like the furthest point away from any door. They didn't want to hear us blowing them duck call. Yeah, I was pretty smart. And Si was in that corner?

Si was never here. Oh, yeah, you stayed down there. Cy was here for TV only. Si was not here because we didn't want to move. I don't know if y'all know how much of really. rivet machine ways. But at the time, there wouldn't but nobody but me and Gobwin and Jason, we couldn't pick that rascal up and move it up here.

It took till we got real big to move that thing to the L&M building. So you made the reeds down at Phil's and then delivered them? He dropped them off every Wednesday and Sunday and Sunday on his way to church. Sunday at church. I was like Sunday didn't see why. No, Sunday we'd meet in the parking lot like a drug deal. He'd hand me ziplot bags full of reeds. And on Wednesday afternoons, he'd show up early and sit here for about to pat the last 30 minutes and shoot a bull with us.

And thus, Duck Dynasty was born right there. Pretty much. Wednesday afternoons for 30 minutes. That's all it took. And then that one fateful Wednesday afternoon where he threw him in my lap and said, tell my nephew, I quit. I'm done. That's the last one you get from me, boys. He's a big TV star.

I know what is that. Haven't you heard? Yeah. You heard. The whole world heard, to be fair. Yeah. That was wild. We used to do all that mess.

Just me, Gavin and Jason here. And he'd bring them. He could make enough. I give him credit, though. He can make enough to keep three men working, dropping them off two days a week. So they get on him about how much he sleep and everything else.

But we never waited on reeds. Like the reeds were not what was holding us up. He gave me that eyebrow raise. Now, about one out of a hundred batches be backwards, but look at him. He did not disagree with that. His eyes told that story as well.

But that's when that reed material was a lot harder to tell which way it was bent. When Sa was doing it, we got it in little sheets. I mean, you... I had to cut it in them sheet. Yeah. Yeah, we had to use that big cut. They come in to the church. It come in a big sheet.

Yeah. And we'd go to the church building and cut. It's back there in the old auditor room in the back. Everybody thought we big time, man. No, we scrape him by, son. We niggling diamond to get it. Yeah. Oh, man.

Now we get it on rolls, a lot, much more predictable. Yeah. Much more predictable. It's kind of funny to see how far it's come. Now we're building out. I mean, now you couldn't, you used to could park a fleet of semis in here. Now you couldn't even get a deadgum Tesla through this rascal anymore. It's hard to ride a bike in my office now.

No more basketball. That's out. I got to say something, though, about that new hallway yard building. What about it? Are only tiny humans working over there? Boy, don't it feel claustrophobic? I don't mean, you couldn't have had offices next door to each other without waiting. In there?

Yeah, where all that sheetrock is out there. Where all the noises is coming from. Yeah, if we were working in there, we'd have to put in like mirrors on each end to see if anybody was coming or not for. We decided to get up where we was leaving our office or not. Or at least a red light system of some sort. Yeah. Have it looked like one of them bridges down there on an intercoastal canal. Let you know a dagum barge is coming.

You're going to be here for about 45 minutes. Mm-hmm. But it's wild. Here we are. 117 Kings Lane. Don't tell them where we're at now. You have a store here. I'm trying to help you, man.

I'm also trying to get Little Debbie shipped here or something. Preach, what holiday we got coming? It won't be long. We'll have like Halloween stuff. It don't matter what holiday. Oh, yeah, you can't have no. Mm-mm. That's unfortunate.

I did. I got tagged in a deal from a bunch of our fans. I suppose. Apparently there's some Little Debbie themed attraction park that just opened in Tennessee. What? You didn't get tagged in none of that? On Facebook. Some news outlet out of Nashville did it. I didn't read the whole thing. I just saw that the cover photo was like a life-sized Christmas tree cake all lit up. I saw that. Wow. Is it real? There's a little Debbie amusement part? Not there. I don't know if it's amusement. It's like attraction. I don't know if it's like celebrating all the little Debbie's. I didn't read the article. Little Debbie Park. It would attract me. Boy, that'd be

way to get humans. Yeah, you give him. Little Debbie Park set to open this fall. Ain't that the true. What is? Do they hand out Little Debbie's? I'm just interested because I saw a lifestyle Christmas tree. The park will feature several Little Debbie snack shaped play sculptures such as an oatmeal cream pie and nutty bar, kid and adult fits friendly seating skulls. They're making

a park bench out of a nutty buddy. Oh man. A cosmic brownie climbing wall. Why are they picking all my favorites? A six foot tall poly shield Christmas tree. Praise God. You know, the Lord does love us. Christmas tree,

the nutty buddy. A chocolate and oatmeal pie. Cupcake sculpture. Bonus. That's all you need. A life-sized bronze statue of Little Debbie herself may be in the works. I go take a picture with her. You got to, don't you? I'll long on my cholesterol report.

I got some peels. Just take two. Y'all one going to go up there and show them as monitor. I'm good. Give me another one. I ain't got one on today. He's out. He's free.

He fell off. What was I doing? I was in my shop working, putting my mom. and I heard something on the floor, I looked down. It's in Collegedale, Tennessee. I don't know where that is.

What part of Tennessee's that end? It's over, yonder. Don't worry. Is that going to be open when me, and Godwin, go to outside of Knoxville? Oh, man.

I don't believe so. When do y'all go? October. Maybe. Where are we going? Greenville. This is up near Olatua. Udala?

Say that 10 times real fast. Don't say it's Udala. It's right. next to Chattanooga. Oh, that's where Jacob live. What is... I mean... O-O-L-T-E-W-A-H?

Yeah, Udawa. You're there. You will be at the Little Debbie Park one day. Guess what your boys doing in September? Going to the grand opening. I don't know. I'll be back there. I don't know when the grand...

Udo Y-X is cool, man. They got chick-fil-A and they got a bunch of different stuff right there. No, I mean, he doesn't live there. That's just where you get off the interstate to go to his house. On 75? Mm-hmm. You know, 75 between Knoxville and Chattanooga. Right there by Fat Boys Roadside Eats?

Yeah. I love Google Mounts. Because you find places called Fat Boys Roadside Eat. They got a really awesome brunch place. The fact that you've eaten, oh, you haven't eaten there? Where? At Fat Boys. Is that the brunch place?

No, I don't think I've eaten at Fat Boys. Well, I'm just telling you the Little Debbie Park, you can hit a driver to it from ride that exit. It is that exit. I wonder if I just drove, like, past it. You did. This weekend didn't even know. You could have went and taken a picture with that Christmas tree three days ago.

You missed it. Way to go. You missed it. Man, what a life. What a life, man. Are you fixing to go back up there? I may. I'm going to definitely go take a selfie with that Christmas tree.

Do you know where the tractor supply is at that exit? Mm-hmm. Right behind it. I did. I drove past it. You drove right by. You drove right by. Well, that's halfway on them, though.

They should have made that Christmas. Christmas tree like 60 foot tall. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, and the boys were sleeping, too. The rest of the signs around. The boys were sleeping, so the chances of me stopping were slim and none anyway. So, but now I will plan accordingly that Brittany can take them back to the aquarium. And I'm going to go to the Little Debbie Park.

Well, they get, there's, there's like a nutty buddy playground. You know what I don't get. Why are they seafood places at the aquarium? That is rude. Well, you know, they just didn't make it. or quit doing the tricks or what's the deal there. Crossbow. You ever think of that?

Uh-uh. There are seafood restaurants? There's a seafood restaurant called an aquarium. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's called equine. And there's got aquariums. Bad actors. And you're eating flounder and looking at flounder.

So what it is? Yikes. Let's take a break. Let's take a break before we become the aquarium or the seafood. I'm not sure. Or the water zoo. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sall Robertson, would say, buy on the grill.

Look, before we got Triedales, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. and you never really know where that beef comes from, but with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch

and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what. when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic.

So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She and a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.

No, he called it a water zoo. A water zoo. A water zoo. There you did. Sa. It was one of the early episodes. So we were talking. Water zoo.

And you got on, where's the Virginia Beach? Yep. And Si said, you know what they should make? Like a water zoo. That's right. Water zoo. Yeah. We'll call it Sea World.

Sea world. Good old Shamu. Is Shamu still alive? Is Shammu still alive? It's like Avatar or the way of the water. That's it? Or is Shamu like one of them animals that and then they get a new one.

Killer Will. Same thing. Oh, that thing got in 171. Shamu, dude. Mm-hmm. Well, how'd they have that movie Free Willy? That wasn't Shamu. That was Willie.

Was it? No. They freed Willie. That was his strange name. The movie is spoiled by the title itself. It's like, hey, what's the movie called? Free Willie. What happens?

Well, they free Willie. I thought they were just protecting. The end. I thought they were just protecting Shamu's identity. That's like Mission Impossible. Why do they call it Mission Impossible? They always do it. It's not impossible.

I haven't seen one yet where it was impossible. But you have to be Tom Cruise. They'll do it. Red light, green light. Well, we're out. Yeah. You don't get me on weird movie stuff. It'll be bad.

So is his name Matt Damon or Jason Bourne? See, now I'm confused. His name is actually David Webb. That's what I'd have said. He's seen it. He got it. He probably read the books. The guy.

David Webb. David Webb's his real name. Who's? Jason Borns. That's his real name. Yeah. Before he got brainwashed and stuff? David Webb.

I'm pretty sure. Now I'm just really good. Brainwashed him. This is why I like simple shows. But you know what? If the whole movie Jason Born was just about a kid named Jason being born, it would be like free willy and it wouldn't be as good. No, sure wouldn't. We like action pictures.

Jason Born is legit. If Phil the watcher, you know you're legit. it. And Phil Robertson watched Jason born. Oh yeah. Back to back to back. Yeah. The whole thing. All of it. Unbelievable. What are you going on? I don't

even know. Godwin, I ain't seen you in forever. Where you've been up to? Five two eyes are blue. Well, your eyes are blue, but you're taller than five, too, aren't you? I'm five, seven, yeah. Okay. That's what I thought. I don't know. I've been traveling, doing some traveling and speaking and trying to do building duck calls and trying to do a little fishing.

That's creepy. Jason Bourne-Wor. Just sliding him from the corner. He gets a little bit. And then he's gone. He gets living around the corner and went back. The problem is, if you ever made eye contact, that's all of it. Yeah, but he knows the license plate number to every car in the parking lot.

And at this altitude, he can run 0.08 miles before his hands start to shake. I watch Jason Bourne a lot. Yeah. Wow. God, when you're looking forward to Orlando? Orlando. Are y'all going to go to Free Willie or Shannon? No, we're going to the shot show.

It'll be in progress by the time I'miss ours. Yeah, I cast. That is the sports, the shot show. Fishing. Will you be there? That was another free willy reference that probably not. I'll pay that. I'm leaving tomorrow.

Like a better than chair. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. But you were my friends. What up, Sigh?

Not much. Where are you going to eat? Y'all leaving. Where? Yeah. Tomorrow night? Mm-hmm. Top golf.

Oh. Chalk tall. I'm going to eat sushi. Yep. What are you doing at chock towel? Hitting golf balls. Hit the golf balls? When y'all going to tell him he said top golf?

I'm not. That's rude. Man, y'all rude. You two John David are rude. I didn't do nothing. That was him. All I always. because she talks and I have to say, huh,

and she says, you can't hear. I'm saying, you're mumbling. Time out. She tells me I'm mumbling. She's the one. Why would I have to say, huh, if she was talking normal? That's what I want to know. I don't think you're going to win this battle, old buddy.

Yeah. She said, you can't hear. You can't hear. You need to go get some marinade. My uncle has some. I said if you quit mumbling, I hear everybody else. She hung out with you too much. The look on his face is prized.

He's legit, he's legit upset. I don't get it. Like, he is legitimately upset. Is Paula mumble? Uh-uh. Yeah, she mumbles. Enunciate. Yeah, she needs to learn how to announce you.

Unless you're on the phone, if you're on the phone, she hollers. Well. She thinks you can't hear her talking Either make the phone call to him My mom does that Yeah Either make a phone call to him Or don't talk to it

Okay Now what are you can hear Godwin do you mumble? No No Everybody answers me When I talk Martin

I ain't say nothing You don't mumble No I do not mumble He ain't getting into it Martin speaks fluent Godwin though I can pretty well translate for you for the most part. That's right. Except for when he's talking about my vasectomy and something being in the signs.

I couldn't tell what he's talking about. We got a lot of emails on that. Signs in the feed or something. They're on his side on this. No, 100%. I just didn't know what he was talking about. I'm telling you, they wasn't in your feet. It wasn't in your feet.

Because he bled. The only time I get confused when God was talking is when he gets on Tofer winning motorcross. Tofor is NASCAR. Oh, see? Who's what? Random is motor. There it is.

I get very confused. I don't know a lot. That boy. Well, I don't know much about football or soccer or baseball. Do you see America beat Canada? I sang it on the knees. There was a controversial goal, wasn't it? Oh, yeah.

That ball bounced off that Canadian's face straight into his own goal. Hate it for him. Canaanita's two-nine? Oh, best Canadian. I'm a best over there. That's bad faces. We beat you, Beth, and not even your own sport or our sport. Now, who do they play?

Now we got Panama. Well, them people ought not be able to play down there. Why not? I don't know. Oh, you don't play it on ice, do you? No, golf and soccer is not on ice. But it would be awesome if it was. That's hockey.

But it would be much more interesting. Well, I was thinking, you know, they ain't no winners down there with the ice and stuff, but that's hockey. I thought you had some clever canal. I thought you had some clever canal joke or something. I was waiting for the punchline. That's what I was waiting on. Jamaica had a bobsled team.

Yep, that's it. Yeah, I've seen that on the news. Motorcross, fishing, nice car, deer hunting, duck hunting. I got you. Rest of it. Loving every day. Rest of it. Ain't working much.

I can appreciate it. Hey, we all, it takes all kinds. That's a good life right there. Yeah. It takes all different style. I didn't, I used to be one of the biggest golf fans you knew. I had no idea that Ricky Fowler won again or something. He's a motorcrow.

See, there you go. Ricky Fowler's a motorcross? Used to. Two of them? Oh. No. Oh, he did? Yeah.

Fun facts on the duck on room. See? There you go. Look, people come here thinking they ain't going to learn that. I told you I know motorcross. They ain't going to, we got like 17 movie references in that one segment. We're going to somehow get one of them clove awards for us all of a sudden. I'm here to tell you.

Ain't no way. That's right. I'm there to tell you. I mean, some of the mild cussing may just, no, I'm kidding. That happens in break whenever. We should probably take. The only way we get a clove award is if they come out with the random category for random stuff. What's the club award? What's that deal that feeling them warm? I tried to write us in, but we didn't get in.

Oh, that one. love. We're going for it next year. We need... Paula went on one of them cruises. I'll get her to talk to them boys. We're in. Yeah, there you go. Get Miss Paula. She's a little lippy.

That's right, boys. As long as she don't mumble. That's right. No, tell them. Here lies, Miss Paula. She mumbled him as a little lippy. Oh, she wants something about deer hunt. She don't mumble, then.

I am. But there's other stuff, I'll tell you. Well, Gavin, tell us how to take a break. Tell us how to take a break. I'm thinking to go get some coffee. There you go. I'll be back in a minute. You already drank that whole cup?

That's awesome. Awesome. I need one more cup. I don't even feel it. So you really, we talked about this while you was getting your cup of coffee. Oh. You truly think that Paula mumbles and you don't. Because I tell you was upset.

Look, you just gave me like I just farted. I mean, that... What? Well, here's the deal. When I talk, people answer me. So if I was mumbling, they wouldn't answer me. That's a good point. That is.

But you talk to like the same six people every day. What's that got to do with it? That means we've become fluent in your manner. I wouldn't. Huh. Well, when I'm speaking out of events, some people will always laugh when I tell a joke. He got you.

You're cornered, man. Yeah, I mean... Come on now. I just... We sound like we're the assembly guy. Now, come on now. Come on now, brother. Hmm.

But Paula, you know, I have to say, hon, she said, You need to turn that TV down. You need to do this. You need to do that. I said, quit mumbling. She grabs at me. She gets mad at me. Is she TV loud?

No. I got it on 20. Out of? 20? 20? 100 yeah that's not loud shouldn't be

if you would have said 30 sometimes sometimes I go to 30 yeah that's if rush comes on no it goes to a hundred then it goes to a hundred when rush comes up because I need to get the vibes going

the vibes going Godwin's got the best vibes get the vibes sigh what's your TV level still 70? Oh 70 out of a hundred I see I would argue there's a hearing problem involved. No, I ain't no hearing

problem. I just like loud. Isn't it like, so sad, is Christine mumble? I do have. No, she stays in her room. But we... No, I was just wondering if you have to say, huh. I'm just wondering if this is a thing that comes from marriage. I'm trying to do a... No, here's what she stays in her room.

No, here's what you deal is. Paula hadn't realized yet. Okay. How many times you've shot over my head in a duck blind? Yeah, that's what I'm about to get to. No. Well, how do we not shoot over your head? you're 5-7. That's not.

I don't know. Y'all make me forget why I was going to say. I stand up in the blind. I got to shoot three times just to get me a hole where I can see the ducks. That's right. I got to shoot my way out of it. About the third volley, I'm a pretty good shape. But no, I was just trying to figure out if the listening and the hearing thing

come with longevity of marriage. That's why I was asking if Christine moment. Well, no, no. I got to go all the way back to mom and dad. Uh-oh. Okay. And this conversation went on with them too. Mm-hmm.

Okay. And my mother would say, no, it's not that he can't hear. It's he's got selective hearing. Oh, I've heard that too. Okay. You only hear. The only time you actually listening, it's if she says something, you want to hear her say. Otherwise, you don't even pay.

Blame for that too. Hey, you don't even translate. It's like hitting a wall. It's coming up here and it goes, and that's all happened. You didn't hear that because it didn't involve what you wanted to hear. By our box of bullets, everything will smooth that. That's right.

That's right. I'll bring us some venison steak. Yep. Then everything's cool. Okay. Otherwise. But can we... Bagger corn.

Can we also say, though, that there's a solid chance. if you've hunted down at the mouth of Cyprus as much as y'all have, that hearing might not be y'all's best thing from gunshots? Oh, hey, it's the thing about you really are stating, you do have a hearing problem due to overexposure to a lot of shotguns going on. But you wear your protection. Wear them tetras, baby. Wear them tetras.

Because like my uncle, yeah. My uncle hunted with y'all all back in the day. I was just around him. He just wore his hair. Well, yeah. Hearing aids, important part. Hold on the first. Hunting, if you're hot, you need to wear hearing protection.

But Gobind also stood next to a paper machine for... I did. How many years? 21. Well, that's like me. 24 and a half years in the middle tank. Carting and cutters out. So what I'm hearing is y'all may, in fact, have a little hearing loss.

Oh, no, yeah. Oh, no, it ain't no probably. Not much. Yeah, see, he admits it there. Not much. Well, hey, to actually know how much you would have to have a hearing test. Oh, yeah. We got them out here.

Now, you, now, you boys, y'all do remember I was present for your hearing test for the tetra. Well, yeah. Devices, right. Because, hey, the doctor told me, the doctor told me, he said, hey, your left ear, the only thing it's good for is to hold them glasses to hold them glasses up. Uh-huh. So, yeah, I've got

what is called a high-frequency hearing loss. So maybe Christine just talks at a high frequency. That's what I tell her. I can't hear. One of my chairs, I'd be, and Paula said, that thing's squeaking.

I couldn't hear it. And then she told me to fix it. I said, how can I fix it if I can't hear it? I went and got some baby D40 and turned it over and started it in there. I said, it's gone. I love it. I didn't know what.

Oh, boy. Hard to say. Look on his face when he looked at me and said, she told him to fix it. Golly. That was priceless there. How can I fix it if I can't hit? Okay? I went.

Big. Hang back in. He does. The reason I'm laughing at him and I'm going to give me some tea out of the refrigerator. And if I don't shut the door on the, it makes a beeping noise. And you don't hear it? And I don't hear it. Don't shut the door on your refrigerator?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just push it and it don't close. And then it's sitting there. And then I'll have a hundred. Just that refrigerator door. The The fridge door's open!

Don't you hear that beeping? Yeah, that was your Miss Christine impression? Shut that fridge door! Shut the refrigerator door, do I mean. Yeah, I can't hear him high pitch. Oh, man. You have, you have. I'm like a dog.

We got dog here. No, no. I thought, no, dogs can hear high pitch, right? Oh, yeah. You got the anti-dog. You got a cat here. Yeah, cat here. Yeah, can't hear it.

Huh? You can't hear it. Hear what? You don't hear that? No. That's why it's so funny when you're around dogs. You'll be sitting there and then the dog will go. Mm-hmm.

Because he heard something that you didn't hear. Darn that old head. Yeah, my dog's at my office right now. I'm sure she's thinking, what in the world are they in there carrying on about? Yeah, what are they screaming about? Yeah, what are they screaming about? Yeah, darling. Yep.

Oh, man. So what about you, Jay-D? How's your hearing? Terrible. I listen to really loud music as a dumb 16-year-old everywhere I went. Just dumb. And I get in trouble for not being able to hear nothing all the time. No, no.

Talking about this reminds me of PBS. Why did it take us 30 minutes? No, no. We are back, baby. Oh, that's timeout. If we're going into PBS, we start fresh. Let's take a break. Break.

Take a break. It was about owls. Owls. All different types of owls, okay. And what, the great northerner? Great northern owl. You're telling us. He's one of the bigger ones.

Yeah. They have, okay, a three-prong. Foot. Here. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it snows up north a lot. Oh, is he the one that can hear under the snow?

That's wild, ain't it? No, no, this is insane. That's him? Not only can he hear. No, that's what we got him around here. You got to understand, okay, the Great Northern Al, okay, he's in the north, okay, a lot of snow. He's got three-pronged system, okay? One of them, there's a mouse under the snow going around.

He can, hey, look, he can. it's so acute, okay, he knows how much speed he's at the hit to get him, two foot of snow. He's under two foot of snow. He knows how fast he's got to go, how deep he's got to go to be able to get him with him close. And it pinpoints. That's amazing. It pinpoints it.

Now we have satellite. Oh, no, it's like a... That's where the satellite has come from. It's like sonar. Yeah. Eagle decapitates fish. Birds are awesome. Oh, I'm glad that's a trout and not a cropy.

Like, he got on. Whatever checks up. It actually showed it. Oh, he's facing to use him for bait. Yeah. That's what he's been doing. He'd been to put him somewhere. It actually showed the medical part of it, okay, y'all.

And it's, uh, he turned his head. 360 a dial cap. He's sitting on a limb, 100 yards away is a little fill mouse under two foot of snow. Scurrying, it pinpoints where it's at, okay? Then it tells him, okay, you've got to fly 65 miles an hour when you hit the snow to get deep enough to get him. That's just crazy. It reminds me of one of my favorite. You know how good your neck would lift if you could turn your head?

The field mouse is fast, but the owl sees it night. I bet you'd pop a hundred times. Ricky Bobby. Just happened. You don't remember when Ricky's father-in-law told him that? What did he tell him? The field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night, Ricky. So they do that with their hearing?

See, that's another thing. They got night vision. I got night vision. Yeah, but now. I don't have to turn my life, but I'm going to a deer stand. And did you know that an owl? makes no sound when he's flying. Yes, I did know that.

That's where we got the stealth from, is they studied the owl. Hmm. Okay, and come up and came up with. Makes his wings like it. Yeah. They watched the stupid owl when he's flying. He's the only one that does not make a noise.

I was in a deer stand one time, tree stand, and all of a sudden there was an owl right beside. beside me at night and I freaked out because it was huge. Oh no, no, no. There he goes. There he goes.

There's your stealth bomber right there. No noise. Watch you. Got him. Oh, he got it. He already got it. Never knew what hit him. Never knew.

Imagine if you're a mouse, man. That would be a tough life. And you're just, you're up under the snow living your best life. Oh, finally. Ain't nothing get me. I'm out here. I'm just going to eat me some cold seeds.

I finally got that wind blocked off. Yeah. Same thing with the fox. And then walked, cowl into the back of the head. Same thing with a fox. Oh, yeah, he's diving. In Fox, you know how to dive.

Yeah. I'm sitting in a stand, high seat, in Germany, hunting the road there. Look, I walked in before daylight. Big open field, pretty green grass. Got in a stand with a daylight now and I'm watching. And I look over at 400 yards, here comes the Red Fox.

Well, he's coming towards four hours. walk through and you could see it, you know, with wet dew. Boop. Yeah. Why don't he break his neck? No, no. And he was doing that right there. It's called.

It's called mousing. Yeah. Watch you. That's the behavior. Okay, he turned his head, Tyler. Oh. He looked like Cy and John David. Yeah, he went all over to his hind.

Oh, no. He looked like, he looked like Cy and John David on the duck call. I'd have him a little head start there. He got him. All right. I can sit down rest now. Same thing with a polar bear. What?

Polarer's got the same kind of hearing. Now you've thrown out. That's why I look, hey, under snow, six foot of snow. What's the polar bear? A full seal. For seal. Good night. He hears him under the snow and then he does the same thing that Fox does.

Jumps up, come down, unreal. Turn yourself around. Yeah. what it's all about. Did you find a clip? I did. Look at it. It's through the ice.

Boom, straight through. Polar bears are so cool. Look at you. The St. Louis Zoo had a polar bear, and that thing was way bigger than me. He catches a lot. Boy, them things are slick. Look, now he's eating them, and he's going to have a nice cold Coca-Cola afterwards. He probably will.

Not tell a kid's a kid. Just goes to show you, everything goes better with the Coke. Polar bears taught us that. That polar bears taught us, boys. That polar bear was beautiful and now it's red. Wow. Animals are cool. You know what I determined?

I can't live up there. In the Arctic? Yeah, my hearing ain't even suspect. I couldn't do that. That polar bear would sneak up on you and rip your leg off and beat you with it. He's going to have to come in my house. His buddy, I ain't leaving it. That's why I made a rule a long time ago.

I don't ever hunt nothing. It will hunt me back. That's a good. And hey, that's a good rule. That's a good way to live your life. You need a big gun. Just like I got that encore. I'm fixing to get me a 308 barrel,

but I don't know what size to get. Where you may? 50. I don't know how long to get it. I can't make my mind up. The longer, the better. Well, I know that, but I got that. presser I can put on it.

And I don't know if a 20-inch barrel with a 1 and 12 twist, that's what I'm thinking. So you don't quite have two full turns on the barrel by the time it gets out of there? Yeah, I don't want it spinning very much. Because the time it gets down rained.

Did we just getting a polar bear hunting? No. You better not with a 308. Because you know, the further, the further you go, well, a 308. He'd put him down, you put it in the right, please. Well, yes, I would a 22 rifle, but I'd like to hedge my bet.

As it's turning, as that bullet's turning out of that barrel. Is that Carter? Uh-huh. Keeps going to the right. That's tight. That was at the St. Louis Zoo. Whoa. They got a polar bear.

Look at that. Look at that Roscoe. Look how big he is. Yeah. That is a giant. I bet he'd get through six foot of snow after a seal. Six, seven. That's a big animal.

You don't really appreciate how big they are because when they're out there in them wide open spaces, there ain't nothing to measure them with. He's floating. Oh, he was swimming. And I said, boy, if that glass doesn't hold, me and my kids are out of there. I was going to trip one of them other kids and run.

You would, but you. Got to protect me and mine, man. You need to kick somebody in the knee again. We already know what you do. We already know. I always got a plan of escape at the zoo. in case there's a disaster at hand. In case there's a whole Jurassic Park situation.

I've seen it too many times. It's not safe, okay. Especially if you're a goat. You said something, though, the size. Look how big that rascal is. No, no. Because a grizzly bear. Now, he's big, but when you see him,

there's always stuff for, like, scale. Yeah. But that polar bear just walking across a bunch of whites. They had grizzly bears. The grizzly bears weren't nothing compared to that old beast. Yeah. No, these little baby grizzlies,

but I've seen them grizzlies up north there. When you can see them from that far away, you're like, yeah, that's a big critter right there. Hey, they had one mounted a full mount. 14 feet, 14 feet high. The polar bear? Yeah. No, not the polar bear of grizzly.

Oh, the grizzly. Oh, from end to end? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, from head when he was stood, they mounted him standing up. Mm-hmm. You come in from outside, back when they didn't have any kind of jet weight. You had to down steps and go inside.

And you come around the corner, and come around the corner, and there he is. Did you flint? Oh, hey, I like to have a heart attack. And look, I couldn't get over. He looked like he had, his claws looked like they were that long. Who would win in a fight, a gorilla or a grizzly bear? It would be a good fight, but I would go with the grizzly. I'm going to go with a gorilla.

Why? They're fast. I watched Tarzan the other night. You don't want to mess. We ain't talking about King Kong. We're talking about just the regulation and true gruel. Yeah, but them things are ripped. Rip your arm off.

Yeah. They're strong. So was them grizzly. That's true, too. They got fingers. though. Who? Grizzly,

no, gorillas. You think he'll poke him in the eye? No, but he can shoot back. That's a Yeah, at least do you time.

There goes our clove award. Are you kidding me? Ain't nobody else disgusting who would win in a fight gorillas or grizzly bears. Annie F. Downs ain't doing that. Okay, who did it say would win? I don't know that they've ever fought them.

Well, how? Well, hey, they don't. Well, hey, they got a. No it would be a fair match No no it wouldn't be fair AZanimals.com says

Grizzly Bear all the way Yeah he's mean All he got to do is Scratch him He's got him Cut him up and just He'd fall in three pieces Well no no

The reason I said that is Because a grizzly bear Can hit a full grown elk That weighs 2,000 pounds And break his neck Just he's seen that on PBS that's it

imagine what he'd do to a giraffe so who win a grizzly bear or a great white well like if we like have a bracket that's maybe that's our next year's bracket assuming we still have a shirt I'm going with the great white

okay yeah I don't think the grisly it's gonna be out of his element well what if we put the great white on land oh the grisly win well then we've got a whole Buanna situation with shark head I mean it's just kind of weird then Work for Maui, but sorry, I'm into kids' movies now. How many movies have we referenced in the sound?

Look, look, I saw this guerrilla in Colorado. Now, how you're going to pick him in a fight? Look, look at my man. He's posted up. That's the, dude, it's the quiet ones you've got to be aware of. Look how he's got his legs, crore. My man's straight chilling looking like he's listening to. How does that look lovable?

Looking like he's listening to Abba or something. No, he's listening to Rush. He's waiting on a cup of coffee. Look at him. Oh, he's fixed to bust out and rep him. I mean, he looks like he's ready to go to the heirs tour, or something. He said break down in a rap song, boys.

I don't know, but that sucker was scary me. I had a plan if he broke through that glass too. He was trying to get his hands on some T. Swiss sweatpants, man. Look at that. You're going to pick him over a grizzly bear? I think so. He's got friends. Hey, he's got J.C. beat on rapping.

Who is Jay C? Grizzly has. That's Jay Z's cousin. Oh, Jay Z. I was like, Jay C. Yeah, he's from, he's not in an empire state of mind. But anyway, let's take our last break. I still haven't talked about eating a rhino we'll do that next episode.

Well, yeah. Rino. Slippian Ambien. All right, we'll be back right there. We'll be right back. We're in the email section. We're in the emails. We're in the emails.

I do enjoy reading them. I've never emailed y'all. I wish you would. I bet it would be awesome. It better be hilarious. Email us a joke, Gavon. That's right. And then answer it on air.

That way I have time to think about it for like a day. That's kind of like where do you take a horse when he's sick, Gavin? I don't know. to the horse pedal. Yeah. Yep, there's a reason Godwin does that, not you. I know. I know.

It was on. Boom. It was on Bluey the other night. I saved it for Godwin. Sorry. New episodes coming out. That's tight. Tomorrow.

No, two days, Wednesday, the 12th. I didn't know that much. I only do it. I only know that much because the boys turned nine months then. I thought it's kind of cool of this coming out. It's a great show. Makes you want to be a better dad. I don't think he's real, though.

He's a cartoon. Ben emails in. Where's Ben from? Doesn't say. Ben, well, we, yeah. Yeah, Ben, okay. Oh, Ben. Oh, Ben.

Look, him and his brother, Luke, have been watching the podcast real while. He's gentle. His brother is 16. And a, I'm quoting this, super gorgeous girl has told her friends that she likes him. And she's been waiting since February for him to ask her out. And he is too scared. Oh, I thought he's going to say turkey season. This ain't Phil Roberts, son.

This is Luke. Anyway, you've got to be careful. So part of the reason he is scared is because she just got a new BMW. Man, that is a reason to go be unafraid. And he has a 99 Chevy pickup with no air condition and has never had a girlfriend and been on a date. And he doesn't know I'm sending this, so hopefully he doesn't beat me up. But do you have any advice for him, like, what to do on the first date? First off, the world's greatest first car is a 1999, Chevy Silverado Z-71.

With that third door that Butterfly is open, your boy had one too. Of course, it was 2005, so it was probably a little cooler back then. But don't be worried about, I mean, if it's hot outside, just ask her to drive. Right? That's what he's worried about. No. He's worried because she's got way cooler car. They'll roll that wonder down.

It's cheaper to rent a car than fix your hair. conditioner, so I'd just go rent one. Rent a car? She ain't got to know. She gonna find out. Well, when your truck was in the shop getting an air conditioner fit because you didn't want to take her in a hot ride. Okay. What happens when that doesn't work after that?

Good point. Well, put her in the truck and see if she'll stay with you. Well, tell her to get in the back. Hold on. Where do they live? Over. I don't have a great reference. there's some trees in the picture of the truck

but I don't know what kind of. Hey, go in the truck and see if she'll stay. I mean, you will find out how much she likes you if it's 95 degrees and you'll go on a date with no air condition. Yeah, but see it, man. This ain't about the truck. I'm married, but if it gets 95 degrees in my truck, regardless of the air condition, it just gets to stanking

because they've been wet clothes and wet dogs and, like, I mean, there's just some stuff you can't get out of one. You better be wearing Tommy John's stuff. And I'm just guessing right now. Now, if he's 99, so that truck's 25 years old, there's 25 years of stuff going on inside that rascal. How you know it ain't clean? Well, I'm not saying it ain't clean. I'm just saying time is not.

Hold on. I'm saying time is not your pretty clean rig for 19. Oh, 100%. But I bet there's been a dog or a spit cup spilled or something in there. Like, I mean. He's got a real tree floorboard. Man, I had this exact. And he's got a baseball glove.

So awesome. That's what I'm talking about. I want to buy this. truck from him. See how neat that truck is? It don't stink. It's pretty clean. Texas Ranger Cup.

He's from Texas. Do not take her in this car. It's too hot in Texas. Yeah, this is a safety issue now. He's got a nitrous button over there. And he plays baseball. What is that? What is that a horn?

Is that one of them like ridiculous loud horns? It is. Just hold on. We need to disconnect that first of all. Yeah. Don't think. I don't think you need your baseball glove either, Hammer.

Well, he might be going to play baseball. This isn't a picture of the date. No, I was just telling him things. I'm just telling him things to think about. Okay, so the question we have to ask, though, is... But he got them car on mirrors. Look out now. I'm telling you. I had that truck.

Is that your truck? Mine was gray with a red pinstripe down the side. Of course, you had. Six-inch, Skydraker Lips, 35-inch Mickey Thompson. That thing was sick. Any Hoosers. Si, is it okay to pick her up in that truck? And is it okay for him to say, hey, can you drive?

I have no air conditioning. I don't see a problem with that at all. I just tell her, hey, hop in, darling, let's go for a ride. Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day... You good-looking thing, you? At the end of the day, if she's at materialistic, that's true. It's time to roll on.

But at the same time, if you're in Texas, and you're in the summertime, you ain't got no air, there's no window, I ain't going to do, hammer bar or one. You somebody else's. I'd pick her up, and then I'd say, hey, next week we'll go out in your car. Unless your first date is going fishing or something, where you're going to end up sweating and stinking anyway. Yeah. You plan accordingly.

I'm just going to give this advice to Luke. Or meet there. Just meat there is a great option. But, I mean, it's kind of confident if you just say, hey, you want to go on a date? Cool. Pick me up at seven. Yeah, I'll be waiting. And just say, look, I do want to go on a date with you, but I ain't got no air conditioning.

I don't want you to be uncomfortable. If you're cool driving, I got the meal. You got to cool at BMW. And also, I've never ridden in a baby. be kind of tight. That's right. It'll go fast. Beamer.

Don't drive it though because if you wreck it, her parents go kill you. You'll never recover. Yeah, don't drive. Don't drive. Leave that to her. Let her wreck it. But, you know, whatever. I don't really know how we helped or hurt.

We probably didn't do a whole lot there. Well, he got... Good luck to you because you're 16-year-old and you got a super gorgeous girl drives a beamer after you. Yeah. Go ahead, big tall. You don't sound like you have a lot of problems. I don't take.

Say, look, we can go with my truck. I ain't got no iron, but... Go back her up. But that's what... I'd look at it. That's the deer, you want to go out. I'd look at it and tell her those tooth. Donnie, don't worry about it.

Hey, things are fixing the heat up around this joint anyway. All right. Any. There goes our ward, sigh. Well, I'm just telling you like it is, boy. Love is in there. Okay? The ward's gone.

Hey, duh. It's fixing the heat up anyway. That's sad. Side, fool. All right. There my, go ahead. We got one more, don't we? Yeah, you got a quick one?

No, it was verse of the daytime. Oh, go ahead. Hit it. Isn't it? Yeah. Hammer down. I don't have a verse about it sitting in the heat up anyway, unless you've lived your life in the wrong way.

This is a good verse for just what I said. Uh-oh. Is it? Yeah. Go with it, J.D. Sure. Isaiah 6-8. Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,

Whom shall I sin? Does me? We'll go for us. And I said, here I am. send me let's full sin ask my send me baby

put me in coach put me in I'm ready unreal we'll see y'all next time right here