Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Got Jay Stone in Trouble With His Wife!

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

May the fourth be with you as Jay and Uncle Si have their minds blown when they learn that Star Wars has a day! Jay is in trouble with his wife due to some things that were said on the podcast and Si learns that Miss Kay hides her fried pies from him. Martin makes fun of Godwin's accent and surprises everyone when they learn Godwin has a Cameo account — but why does Mountain Man have a better rating? Martin shows Si a picture of Brittany's new slithery scarf while she was in New Orleans which freaks him out. The boys give their best advice for those who get stage fright when using a public bathroom for a number 2 and then they share their thoughts about the "rules" for baptizing someone very close to you. And finally, how should husbands best help when their wives are having a bad pregnancy?  -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's May. It is May. It's gonna be. It's almost Star Wars Day for you, Jane, do? That'll be fine. Are you going to dress up? I don't typically dress up as anything. But now that you work at the Honeyhole, I mean, I think, are y'all going to have, like, a Star Wars sale?

Probably not. That's really not our demographic. What's going on? I'm one of the few people that probably watches Star Wars. Oh, so today is Star Wars. Star Wars Day. It just informed it. May the fourth be with you, everyone.

May the fourth be with you. What's going on? It's the day before a really fun day. May the fifth. Cinco de Mayo. Where we celebrate our neighbors to the south a little bit. That really just the reason for everybody to drink margaritas like they need one. So, you know, my wife ain't ever been too busy to have one.

One of my children is here because of Cinco de Mayo. I'll just leave it at that. Bahinas are good, man. You never know what'll happen. The fajita. If you're listening to this years, years later, I apologize. Why didn't you name her like Cinco or Mayo? I have just been a weird name.

Which isn't past us, but. Or in your case, fajita. Pahitas aren't really good. Do you eat a lot of Mexican food? No. So part of the problem at our house right now, Carter wants to be president, right? Of Mexico. No, he wants to take out Mexico, and I don't know why.

All he reads about is the old presidents who's like fighting England and stuff and I'm like hey we're friends with them now he's like nope we got stuff like I'm afraid the man's going to rule with an iron fist and like trying world domination is why he wants to be president but he said no I'm going to start a war with Mexico I said no more chips and salsa

yeah giving that at free at restaurants if you and so he's backed off of Mexico a little bit Canada look out we're coming for you don't have anything endearing to save them I don't know I couldn't say you but so what's the star wars do i still have may the you know how they say may the force be with you in star wars oh may the fourth it's just a little play on that use the force luke there you go

there we go i'm more of a dark way everything you got to use the force there you go so it's a big day i mean there's a lot of people that celebrate may the fourth i'm not one hunter's got his hands in there hunter will walk in here dressed up yeah well what's what's my fourth that you should dress up. I give up. Hey, I ain't been listening as a constant. Apparently.

It's the day that Star Wars fans celebrate because, you know, they have the force and may the force be with you. Now, now, I understand. So you added I have no idea what y'all were talking about.

I just kind of went along with it. I said, you added little footnotes to a conversation that you weren't even listening to. That's good to know you have that skill. Well, hey. He's got that. I was really thinking about the PBS show that I watched the other night. Buddy fire away.

Oh, no. Hey, look, they finally got with it and run something that was interesting. But our scientists were all been out of shape. It was all screaming with the skies falling and all this because all the coral reefs in our oceans, the coral was dying. Mm-hmm. You know, and it was leaving big splutches of white, dead coral. Well, they come back about two months later and started looking at it. And hey, whoa, oh my goodness, there's all kind of new growth going on.

So, hey, it was nature taking care of nature, okay? But that don't sell regulations, so we'll never hear that. Well, I know, but it's like fires, you know. Lightning starts fires when the underbrush gets too thick and everything and nothing will grow. Well, hey, lightning strikes, burns it all. away fertilizes it and then hey next thing you know you got a giant forest there where it used to be bare hey yeah yeah chill out everybody chill out everybody call everything's working like it's supposed to boys it's like somebody that's supreme beings taking care of it almost like there was a designer

yeah like you know yeah that somebody was in charge this mess boy wouldn't that be wild hey Oh, that's funny. Oh, I love it. I got a. All I'm thinking about it, I got to get Britney text me a picture. I need to show us. But it was very interesting. And like I said, they was all, you know,

they was all really getting fired up about it. Well, I found out something today. I didn't realize that my wife actually listens to our podcast. Oh, boy. Oh, oh. This is not good. Abort. Oh, I know it.

Abort. I know. I don't got in all kinds of trouble because, well, not me. you're in trouble more than me about that cake why about that he got on that cake brought that up guess who stole up to my house the other day okay with a gift okay now brought me a

you know a freshly made pound cake okay and I told her us today you know BK made one and she doubled the vanilla in it yeah I said so hey put two scoops of vanilla in it baby so she brought it in there was ex-lottee well okay He was the only man I know critique a woman's cake and then get another one.

The rest of them, we don't eat that cake again in our lifetime. Well, hey, here's the thing, though. All the women know I love them. Oh, yeah. Okay. No, the thing is, you said to me by, and they don't know how many more cakes they're going to get to make you. Now, that's all that.

They know I love them. I may talk about them, you know, but I, you know. She heard you say that. She does her walking every day, and she listens to the podcast. She heard you say that. So that's why she went and built you another. She made, and I was telling Lisa, or not Lisa, Liz, my housekeeper. I said, somebody's supposed to be bringing me a cake.

Have they brought it yet? And she said, bringing you a cake? I said, yeah. I said, this young lady fixed to bring me a cake. Well, she made it in afternoon. I asked him in the morning, you know, about 1 o'clock. I was, come on here. Then, then, I said, that's what I'm talking about.

There you go. Is there any left? Double. Then I ate about half of it. You know, Christine said, Hey, you tell her not to make it the whole cake anymore. I said, sh, sh, sh, sh, don't even go there. Well, you mean, tell her not to make the cake?

Dummy? You called Christina, dummy? And she said, well, I'm probably going on. I said, don't, don't throw it away. I said, hey, it may take me a week, but I'll eat it. Don't throw it away. Yeah, don't throw it away. It ain't going to.

It ain't over. He's going to wear. It's covered up? That'd be fine. Which one is your favorite one? Was it that, well, is it the sour cream? Huh? The sour cream cake or was it?

Hey, she made me one one time, okay, and it fell all apart. I don't know what she did something wrong. The ingredients didn't hold together. But this one was picture perfect, okay? And it was perfectly all the way around, perfectly, the whole thing looked the same color. Okay. It was the flavor was excellent. Okay.

There you go. It was real, real moist. Okay. Yeah. Real moist. So I just need a bad mouth one of Nance desserts and maybe I'll get one. I don't know if you'd get that same treatment. I hear that peanut butter pie sucks.

I hear it's terrible. That last one you made was awful. You should do better. Well, no, because when she's done, y'all was talking about what is it, the peanut butter pie? Oh, praise God. That thing is so good. And you've lost your mind. I don't know what all of y'all was raving about that.

Bring one and prove him wrong. Yeah, peanut butter. Peanut butter pie, no good. Plain pound cake, good. I'd hate to sing Shanae's song. Hey, I'm not impressed much. That's how the song goes. With peanut butter.

With peanut butter, pie, whatever they did. Compared to a plain, freaking pound cake. Oh, hey, pound cake is up there. A little better. Way better. But I see your point. Yeah. A better pie is special.

Oh, Shanae over here just wasn't impressed all that very much. Overrated and over-exaggered. about how great it is. You. No. We should have a smile on the pocket. I was expecting something that was really good. Sonia Twain?

Don't it? Quotner over here. Good grief. Sinai Twain ain't coming here. Maybe they could do like a little. Not even a high grade of peanut butter too. That's bad that bad. Wait,

what kind of peanut butter was? I don't know. Ranking peanut butter. But it wasn't high grade. It was high grade peanut butter. Maybe I just ain't a peanut butter man. Heck if I know. Ever since Lottie who's been allergic to peanut butter,

I don't get to eat a lot of peanut butter. we don't keep it in the house. If it wasn't for peanut butter, I don't know that I could survive. I mean, I'd survive. I just wouldn't thrive. I really enjoy peanut butter.

No, you wouldn't thrive. I mean, I love it. Like, peanut butter and jelly. If you put it all jelly on with it, hey, it's pretty decent.

I don't care. What kind of jelly you bought? Oh, no, you got a homemade biscuit. Yeah. Oh, just playing peanut butter. Even if it's crunchy.

Oh, you just leave a jar of it out there and dip your finger in it In case you want a snack. Hunter thought it was funny. He's seen Ted Lassau. Sorry, you haven't. Do you, you don't like peanut butter? Well, it ain't on my top ten hit list.

He only likes it on a BLT. Can we take a break now? You put that peanut butter on your BLT? I feel does. Hey, dad's the one that started that. Yeah. Okay, my father. Then you take the L and the T and throw it away,

and then you just have peanut butter and bacon. The sandwich is pretty good. I mean, it's the other way. Hey, don't run a good BLT with peanut butter. Yeah. Or an egg. Or an egg. That's just.

Yeah, that's the worst thing that you can do to put a fried egg on a stupid BLT. Unbelievable. Let's take a break. We'll be back right after. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedales beef makes such a good. hot up, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend,

Sao Robertson, would say, bye on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef come to them, but with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store

and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch, and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, She doesn't eat me. She ain't a big meat easier, folks.

Yeah. Just go to tribeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. I was riding in the woods this morning. What did you see? And I saw all kinds of critters. I saw some baby wood ducks.

I got one of my trail cameras on one of my wood duck boxes waiting on them to hop out. There's ought to be any day now. How many, how many do they help? Like 10? Yeah, 10 or 12. I mean, they can have as many as like 15 or 16, but average is 10 or 12. And of them, about three, make it. They got a bad, you know, mortality rate.

Well, yeah. Not easy being able to fit in your hand, and he leaves that box immediately. Like, bass eating, frogs eating. There's turtles everywhere. Tews. They ain't very slick. So snakes. Yeah.

That's a hard-knock life when you're a little bird. Yeah, I saw about eight or ten just scurrying. Scurrying across that backwater. Pretty duck. But I turned the corner up by your old deer stand, and I got out to fill the feeder up, and I heard boom, boom, just loud, like a cannon going off. And it kind of shook me, because the winds were blowing out of the east,

come from a hunter's grandpa's farm. hunter or hunters or grandpa's our neighbor next door he's got a farm he's trying to grow some corn so he will shoot there I thought well wind was shooting at something over there so I kept filling the feeder up boom

boom heard another boom I'm like godly what is going on it was like I was back in Afghanistan so I call window I said window what's going on what's he's shooting at you got he said oh I got them propane cannons going off because running off all y'all's deer.

They're eating my corn. The corn ain't four inches tall. They're just nipping it. He said every corner there's a herd of deer eating this corn. Oh, no, no. So he's got the propane cannons going off. He said, only worse for about three or four days. Then he moves it to another spot to run them off.

Get used to it. Yeah. What is a propane cannon? Oh, it's loud. Everything is loud. It sounds like a controlled explosion. Yeah, he's in. And then Wendell told me that he had his fertilizer guy out there, and they went off on him,

and he'd freaked out, and he called, Window, I think them duck boys are shooting at me. He said, no, that's my cannon. He thought the duck boys was after him. Yeah, but. I mean, so the water is off, going off? Oh, yeah, it's falling like a rock. Crawfish, though. Yeah, I saw a bunch of dead crawfish in the flat.

It's crawfish time. Time for et tufei. You want some crawfish, sir? Oh, yeah. I just like to be in the kitchen when he's cooking it. Because the aroma, the aroma when he's cooking all that is out of this world. That's better than actually eating it. You know what?

Let's try a size technique here. You know, the last time Miss Kay made a crawfish pie, that crust just didn't hold up. I think maybe Kay, listen, bring one. I doubt she's listening. I was going to say, I ain't ever had a one of her pie crust didn't hold up. What's not? But if you said that to her, she would.

Proving you wrong. Challenge accepted. That whole birthday thing was so funny with her. Hey, would you shut up? But she said, are you, do you want me to talk? Oh, Lord. You know, she's got about 15 of them pie crusts in the freezer. So she'd just go grab one?

You'd grab them out of freezer. Yeah. But she's the only one that can make them. That's pretty slick. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're going to be. She's making them in bulk.

Yeah. And puts them in the freezer when she needs one. Grabbed it. They are outstanding. I think she needs about three of them out of there. Crawfish pie. Boy, wouldn't that be good? Mm.

Mm. I ain't big on pie. What about apple pie? If it's apple pie. That fried apple pie. Oh, our coconut. Our coconut. Ooh, that's my favorite.

We always end up down the corned on road. Back on. We always end up there. That fried apple pie. That fried. That fried apple pie. Oh, I was fixing to say the fried apple pie. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That sounds good. Oh, my gosh. Allison made a blackberry cobblower the other night. And I'm not a big dessert guy, but you start throwing stuff like that around. The only thing about them is they disappear too quick. What are the cobblers?

The fried pies. Oh, yeah. Kay hides them. I mean, she don't take them. Yeah. She hides them. Yeah, she hides them. From him?

Oh, no. Hey, look. Him. There, hey, Godwin, whoever's there, she'll hide them from. She hides them. Stone doesn't figure it out. I was watching one day. He drove up and we went inside the house and they were fixing a meal.

And Stone's going and everything that's got a cover like the pot. Oh, yeah. Checking it. If it's a cake deal, he's checking out. If his rental drop junk, he unfolds. You see a bowl upside down. Yeah. He a bowl upside down.

Look under it. Look under it. Because it might be a prize. Then the next time I know, he's over eating on one of them fried pies. I said, where did you get that? He said, ain't none left. It's the last one. It's the own confinness.

Well, Stone has more self-control than the rest of us, so you don't have to worry about him eating all of them. I don't have self-control when it comes in fried pies. I know. I mean, I eat my weight in them things. You're talking about good. I'm hungry. Why does it always go back to food?

I can eat about a dozen of them. She'll finish them off of that little bit of powder. Yeah, powder. Yeah, that kind of melts when it because the grease is still hot on it. Golly. Like it either dozen of them right now. Y'all want to move this podcast somewhere real quick? I'll face it.

I'll say, serve food. I mean. Let's go see what she's. Beth, Beth is over there text to me. She said, what is a fried pie? Oh. Beth, let us change your life. What is a Canadian?

Bad pie. Our Canadian producer friend, Beth. Oh, my God. That's where you take and you make. Break it down, Sire. Roll out dough, okay, and you make it a circle about the size of a nice saucer. You roll it out real thin, and then you take either apples, do it with apples, or you can do it with mayhael jelly or grape jelly.

Peaches. Peaches. Peaches. Peas. Okay, anything that you sweeten, and then you roll it up and throw it in hot grease right quick. Brown it right quick, and then take it out. And while it's still hot, you sprinkle powdered sugar on it. And then you call the buzzards in and let them just devour it.

Yeah. But McKays are special because it's her homemade pie crust is what does it. It's not, I've had fried pies, but none. It ain't McDonald's fried pie. It ain't no McDonald's fried pie. This is Maw Kay's homemade fried pie. And the ice cream always works. Ooh.

Oh. So. A vanilla bean ice cream. on top. Bluebell homemade ice cream. Man. What a perfect way. Since we're on the topic,

I'll tell you what I did the other day. I took some velvita cheese, chopped up in the squares, put it in one of them little aluminum pans. I'm in. Rotel, brown some hamburger meat, and then I put it in the smoker. About two hours.

Started about every 15th century. You mix this all together? Let me tell you something. Now, them athletic greens and make you regular, but that would have the opposite effect. It'll make you irregular. That'll clock you up.

Oh, my gosh. Because you will definitely eat a bunch of it. Ooh, I couldn't stop eating. Oh, I like that. Martin, you having technical difficulties out there? I got a plug. Martin's on the table. We've lost Martin.

I can't wait for it. He's back. That happened to my chair. Stop working? Yeah. My chair. I've got a chair that's cheating. You know.

Oh, I'd about say, when we get elected here? And it wouldn't work. I was saying, yeah, it didn't have torn a sheriff. That's what happens when the Treasure Show been in here, homesteading all weekend. They tear your stuff up. That Treasure Shadows. Oh, you should have seen this during while we were famed. I saw it.

I was up here. I'll fix it. It was trash all over this thing. Yeah. From me doing my celebrity shout-outs. You have a celebrity shout-outs? Yeah. I'm trying to make some money for the treasure hunters.

Should I have a lot of this? Yeah. Time out. Time out. Bartson, making money. Wait, what are you doing? Yeah, no. A lot of questions.

We're going to take a break. And then I got to know more. Yeah. So what were you doing? So when Philip come up with a broad idea, he said, hey, look, you're a celebrity, and they'll pay you money to wish them happy birthday or a happy anniversary. So you're on a cameo bag?

Are you on cameo? Yeah. You're on cameo? Yeah. It's a real thing. I'm about to find a real time. I'm trying to make some money with this treasure outfit. Well, why?

Because right now we ain't got no cash inflow. Why not? Because I haven't found nothing. So y'all ain't finding no treasure. God, they're finding a lot of. You know, I don't see. What is the phrase? One man's trash is another man's treasure?

But y'all just finding another man's trash. I find it too much trash and not the treasure. I don't see you on cameo. Godwin and a mountain man's treasure. banner on cameo. Oh, Godwin 100% is. I've been with him when he's doing them. Are you serious?

Uh-huh. What is that? Well, hey, Guy Wond does one-liners. Does he? Yeah, with his little thing. So you watch? That's his niche. Wait, wait a minute.

Oh, you didn't know. He does one-liners. So people pay Godwin money. To say like happy birthday or congratulations on the internet. You can get on the internet and give Godwin 40 bucks and he will send you a personalized video. Hey, don't get it twisted. Willie Robertson on there too. Is he?

Well, I can't say nothing about that. Willie wasn't on there when I... Well, I don't see Willie. Oh, him and Brian did it for a hot minute. Then I guess they got off the bag. Oh, boy. I'm about to get on it, and I promise that I'll be sitting beside sigh

when I record your video. Hey, that's a good picture, that's the only way I can make money. Would you like a sigh adjacent, happy birthday wish? Hey, that's a big old floppy guy who's got there. I wonder where you got... That wet. $15 just me, $200. $200 gets involved.

$15 to get you, his shoulder, $200 will get his face. Yeah. I give him 50. So did anybody pay you? Did anybody pay you? Well, I ain't seen the money yet. It's supposed to be working.

I'm going to get Sai personalized video from Mountain Man. Is he on there? Oh, yeah. Mountain Man's definitely on there. He's got a 4.97 rating. There you go. 77 reviews. What's Mountain Dogs price?

People person. Ooh, they're the same price. Mountain Man's rating is a little bit better than Godwins. Oh. Godwin's a 4.940. He got to step his game up there. That's because Mountain Man really enunciates and Godwin comes with close captioning. Gotta be.

100%. You have no idea what Howard just told you. I mean, Gaba sent me one. I don't know what he said, but, you know. But he's a nice guy. Yeah, he was smiling the whole time, so, I mean, we can't be mad about it, you know. I can't tell you how many times in my life, Martin has had, I've had to look at Martin and go, what did Godwin just say? Martin knows exactly what.

Like every flight attendant on every airline ever when me and God will fly together. Like, what do you want to drink? Karnap. They just let it. He just look at him. I didn't catch that wall that he's drinking. They just look at him and they say,

what was that, sir? Rann apple. Hold on. I think we can. And then they finally look at me and I'm like, man, he'd like some cran apple juice. I know it doesn't make sense.

When you look at him, you don't really peg him as a cran apple kind of guy. But that is what the boy's after. So Godwin's never seen Godwin drink cranial juice anywhere else. Only all the plane. It's like he treats himself on a flight. Is there anything in that?

No. No, he's just sitting there at 6 a.m. drinking cran apple. Well, Siret drinks that. It is good. Oh, no. But he'll drink it. I say Sire drank that here. I ain't ever seen Godwin walk in with a bottle of cranapple juice.

Me neither. I don't know if he gets nervous and needs urinary tract health on a plane. I don't really, I don't. The boy drinks so much coffee. It can't be hurting. So it just. So Godwin has all five-star reviews except for one. Who got it?

It's anonymous. That's your name. on a negative review. He only got three stars. He really liked it, but he didn't get the birthday age correct. He said 25 instead of 45. Well, I'm here to tell you.

That was probably not a mistake. I mean, you know, 45 would be a big age for somebody. So he said, hey, happy 25th. Well, you might just not have understood him. They gave the 20 years off of it. He'd never be an auctioneer, because you'd never know what the final price was you were bidding on.

You'd be like, now do what? I mean, love him to death. Yeah. I mean, she was here. J.C. She said he sounded like a weed eater cranking up. Whant, wamp, wha. I weed eat it yesterday.

I'm tired. I don't like weed eating. So, Si has received. Does anybody like weed eating? Oh, I love it. You like weed? I like mowing. No.

I mean, I like moan, too. But I like anything. Because I'm outside, yeah. Wheat eating. I do not pull weeds. No, there are many weed killers that you can spray for that application. And I didn't want to say the R word, you know, in case we getting a class action lawsuit one day or something weird.

But, yeah, I don't pull weeds. But no, weed eating yard. I like yard. I never thought I'd say that in my life as I was getting woke up at 12, at 12 years old having to mow the credit. Well, you did it for a job. For how long, Greenskeeper? I mean, yeah.

When I was young. Back in the day, you'd mow five acres and get $5. And now the thought of paying somebody to mow my grass, I'm like, I just can't do it. I can't. It's not in me. It's just can do it. You'll be proud of me, I think.

I put in my own dishwasher. Our dishwasher went out. I had them deliver it. I was sitting there and I was weighing the cost. I was like, I'll probably screw this up. No. Plug. Because I'm not handy.

plug water line drain line Yeah That was pretty Well I thought you'd just plug it in the wall I didn't know there's going to be wires involved But I did It's working Yeah currently

So I feel halfway handy today There you go Just take a picture Whenever you get to that point Take a picture Like I'm saying Before you take it apart Like being you

Like know which one's positive No which one's negative I got a brand new dishwasher There you go And I put it I saved a hundred It was gonna be $191 I was like

I'm not the handiest person Well, go buy you something for $80 and treat yourself. This is that dishwasher. I think I can do this. Yeah. Dang, bad. I've noticed there's been a crew. I'm a parks changer.

For a long time. They're done. You can't hide money. They're done. I know it. No, my porch was falling apart. It's an old house. And so I redid all the porches.

I heard about all your remodels from Shelby, our friend Shelby, who just dropped in to see the twins while she was in town. Showed up? Yeah, just showed up. And then I, now, we added on the back porch so we can. Do you want to you to work here at Dirkvinder? Yeah. Your friend, Shelby.

How she doing? She's doing good. Okay. Yeah, she's doing really good. You ain't found her man yet? I did not ask because I didn't want to know the answer. That's been the first time I'd ask. Well, I know.

But again, your Uncle Sy and you can get away with those kinds of questions. You know, I didn't want to know if she was out of a bad breakup or if things were going swimmingly, I just wasn't there because, you know, I was on a limited time schedule. Very limited time. She did feed whaling, so that was much appreciated. So it was a good time. No, it was fun. Where is she at now? Louisville, Kentucky.

She was going to Atlanta for a Taylor Swift concert because that's Shelby. Is there anything more Shelby than going to watch Taylor Swift? We should have had Shelby on if we didn't know when she was in town. Fly to Monroe to see one of Willie's kids get married and then go to Taylor Swift concert. Thank goodness he's about out of that, right? Who? Willie. what we have left rowdy

rowdy that's it he's down to one baby down to one down to one did you go to the wedding nope do you go to the wedding I did

I had something else going on no sir I was a 25% I was a single dad with twins so

I mean people showed up it was a good wedding there a pile of people I didn't know I saw Jason there

and JEP they were the first ones to leave let's see They beat Phil. They beat Phil. Phil didn't show up, do you? Oh, yeah.

Phil and Kay walked down the aisle. Oh, yeah. And then when the wind was over, they had the band playing when the Saints go marching in. Good song. And Miss Kay had her umbrella. Oh, they went full. Oh, they went full, full bore parade. Oh, it was pretty funny.

And there was Kay. and she loved it. I think Kay stayed there at about 10.30. Oh. I was in bed. I was fast asleep. Man. Yeah, sorry, Bobby.

Couldn't make it. Single dad with twins. Brittany was actually gone to New Orleans. I forgot what day it was. So, hey. I was just, I don't. It was a good way. And the preacher was a little high-strung, but it was all right.

Well, he was a Jenkins, wasn't he? Well, yeah. Yeah, he's a Jenkins. You can't do nothing about that. I was talking about Jenkins, not preachers. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jenkins was the preacher. Yeah, what he said.

Preacher was a little house drawing, you said, boy. Oh, Jenkins. Well, let's take another break. We'll be back right after this. We were taking pictures. We had to take one picture with the Robertson family. So we were taking the picture, and Jace had his hat on with his advertisement, had a shirt with like four or five different, like a NASCAR driver.

with the sponsors on there. That is treasure hunting boots on, and Willie said, this picture brought to you by. No, did he really? Metal detectors. Oh, it was, and Willie went to ripping him for a good,

solid two, three minutes. That sounds right. And me and Al just laughed, laughed. Well, there might have been treasure in them fields. So Jace didn't wear his party fedora that he's, so? No, no, he didn't wear the fedora. But a party. I got a stop.

I got a stop. The party fedora's rich. I think he's off at. I think, uh, well, things happen when you hit 54. I'll say this. I've never seen the man without a hat. Uh,

in the last 20-something years. Have you? I don't think I want to. Is he bald? Is he bald? Surely he's not balding. I don't know. I am.

Yeah. It happens, you know. Everybody gets long in the tooth. Yeah. But I've noticed he does not go anywhere. without a hat at any time. He's either wearing that beanie hat or now he wears his metal detecting hat.

But he's going to have a hat. He's got a metal detecting hat? Yeah, that's what he wears on. He wore that to the wedding. Yeah. That camouflage. Oh, it said, no, it might not be, it said, come and what does his hat say,

what does his hat say, sir? I have no idea. See if you can find that picture, Johnny Day. It's a new one. Family picture. Like, something like says, like, come and. and see or something like that on there. Oh.

I don't know what that's what it means, but anyways. Interesting. But that's what he wore to the wedding. Yeah. And a sponsor shirt. Yeah, yeah.

He didn't just wear a black shirt. Well, I think that might have been the only black shirt he had. No, that's a lot. I've seen him play golf in a black shirt. Oh, have you? Oh, yeah. He got black polo shirt.

Now, me on the other hand, I do not own a black shirt. Really? I got a bunch of... A t-shirts. I got black t-shirts, but nothing with a collar on. That's because you're skinny. now. Alpine.

When he's bigger, you have black shirts. I did. Very slimming. You find it? I haven't found it. Very slimming. Yeah. That's why you wear black shirts.

But I have noticed that he don't go nowhere without a hat. Well, I come up here the other day, throw some trash away and get some dog food. And the boy, he had me load his dog food in the back of his truck because he doesn't hurt his back. Chase? That's what he said. I didn't ask him what he was doing. I just said, okay. When was this?

Saturday. Huh. Yeah. He's walking around, limping around. Throwing stuff away back there? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Free dumpster, son.

I was here yesterday. Oh, were you? Yeah. That's the same price and gets dumped on Monday. We get charged the same thing, whether it's full or it's empty. Might as well fill it up. Yeah, it ain't ever been full. Me and Martin been filling up the duck commander dumpster for a few years now.

I guess because we're so close to town, they pick it up like six days a week, too. It's ridiculous. It's one of the best things we have to. on. We probably shouldn't say it on that. It's ridiculous. And we get, we get charged for like two pickups a week. So that's not. But they do it every day. I mean, it's like unbelievable. I don't, I guess they're just by here a lot and saying, well, might as well. But, you know, we got. Yeah, the dumpster saga. But no, he was, yeah, he was complaining about his back. Huh. They put out trope lines and yo-yo's or something. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe

Si knows, but. Nope. Were you in on that side? No, they done that over at Murray's. Yeah. Oh, okay. What's the name of it? Artholomew.

Bartholomew. Yeah. They wore them out. Did it? Yeah. A noodle had the little floating jigs or the floating jugs. Yeah. And yo-yo's.

And Murray said they hammered them. So I saw Phillips rig out there. Is he on the show now? Yeah. Yeah. He's my sister. Oh. that's true

yeah we had we had I hired an assistant and then Jase Jeff and Murray said hey we need the assistant and I gave him a bunch of crap about hey y'all don't need assistance I'll buy you a burrow that way maybe if you or buy you a burrow maybe you find

you know a big treasure chest of gold to carry it out for me a burrow like a mule like a mule a dungy okay burrow mule same difference Jack, never mind. Everybody get assistance now.

Oh, man. Everybody but me. Yeah. I don't need one. I'm good. I'll do it part of time for you, Martin. I can handle my own. I'm not that busy.

Oh, man. It is A-O-T with me, but, well, interesting. Anyways. Yeah, I just looked at the clock. We got a little longer. This is a Monday here. Is it like being 75? 75.

Have you noticed a difference? Yeah. What was the best gift you got other than Nans' pound cake? Because I know that's what you're going to say, but we already been there. Christine, get you anything? No. We don't ever buy anything for each other. Well, I just wonder, maybe 75.

She may break tradition, I didn't know. Get you some bongue bells. Yeah, get you some bails. She will never do that. Yeah, that's out. You know, she'll throw it away. Phil tell you happy birthday? No.

That's just a joke I say. No. Because the filming crew, they had me a cake yesterday when I was filming. Oh, well, good. You know, and I said, well, I'm out here. And they said, no, no, no. Hold, you know, somebody needs to see you. They kept phoned around.

Then I was in a truck, fix the lead. And say, hey, come back in there. They got to do something else with you. And when they brought back in and they gave me a cake. I didn't know what to do How many cakes did you have? I didn't even eat it I just said you're going to take the cake

I said no y'all eat it I don't want any cake That was cake number 75 Well Well I'm just saying And it had on there You're the treasure Okay

There ain't no doubt about that No doubt about that I agree wholeheartedly with that statement I didn't know what to say I said I appreciate it and all that And then I left You're a national treasure whether you realize it or not.

That was a pretty good movie. Yeah, that was at least a minute gone there. We still got a few more to fill. Hey, I got a prize. What did you get? I was going to save it for the next segment, but we'll struggle then. Yeah.

The Monis family sent us some Hawaiian candy. Okay. I'm interested. Well, bust it open. Let's try it. Her husband's from Hawaii. They send us a picture. They're from Fort Worth.

They come see us every now and again. They're from Fort Worth. And they look delicious. And they're covered in lemon peels. Oh, do it with lemon peat. Or peach rings. Gummy bears? Gummy berries.

A peach rings. I'll do sour apple. Dubby. Lee Hing and lemon. What is Lee Hing? Whoa. Wait until you open it. Okay.

I'm confused. It's like dirt. Dazed and confused. Let me see that. It's like chewing tobacco. Told you. Oh, wow, that's good. Is that what Lee Hing is?

Whoa. Thank you. Hawaii got something figured out, boys. Ooh, that's tart. Is it sour? It's all lemon pills, what that is. Hawaii is a weird place. That's actually pretty good.

But it's cranky. It's creep. Yeah. It got a bite to it. Yeah. But it's good. Yeah, it's good. Hold on, Mark.

But that dirt. Whoa. It don't need as much of that dirt. Yeah. Hold on a second. I can't see what was in it. Martin. It's addictively sour.

My man from Hawaii does say it is an acquired taste. And they're not sugar-free, which was a little obvious when we ate them. But anyway, thanks. You know that because it says for nutrition facts, scan here. They don't want to tell you because I know you wouldn't. pick up. Si said they had a beautiful family too which is true.

What is, uh, I got to Google. What is Lee Hing? I'm assuming it. Because it says covered in Lee Hing and lemon pig. Man, hey those aren't even sour. These are sour apple with the

Lee Hing lemon peel. It's salty, dried Chinese plum. Huh. What? That's what it said. Why? Wow.

You know what that tells me? That's weird. They've run out of stuff to do on that island. Yeah. So let's figure out what we can put on our stuff. Okay, same thing Cajuns did. Yeah, that's just the Hawaiian. We come up with crab bowl, they come up with this.

Hmm. Ooh, it's tart, baby. You should try the sour apple. Uh-uh. That one's tart. Mm. Oh, anyway, thanks for the snacks. Thank you.

I don't know that we ever did the snack bracket, by the way, and people are calling for it. Oh, we're supposed to put it on Instagram stories. Well, I think we're just going to declare Christmas Tree Cakes the winner at this. No, we can't do that. Whatever happened to the bad taxidermy. I do have, hey, Hunter, turn the TV on. We've shown a few of them, but I got another one the other day. You get another one?

Mm-hmm. Ma'am. Oh, boy, who knows? Let's see. They're addictive. I don't like sour things, but, well. Yeah, I want to take a break before we look at the bed, taxidermy.

Yeah, let's take a break. I got one that'll... If I can wash the sour out of my mouth. That's so I don't sound like gobbling. Yeah, that's rough. Oh, that was weird. I'm going to eat one more. Anyway, emails.

Hello. I just got a really weird one that I'm going to lose if I go back to the taxidermy, so I'm going to do this one first. Stephen. Hello, Steve. Email's in. It's weird. What's your best advice for not getting

stage fright when you have to go number two in public. Close the stall door, man. Yeah, you ain't supposed to do that in the urinal. Who's watching, bro? Yeah, like. Stage fright. All I can say, Stephen, is you ain't had to go bad enough, my friend. That's right.

Because when you do, you don't care who sees you. I've done it in the headlights of my truck on the side of Interstate 20 going duck hunting. Now, that's weird. It's not weird. that's as far as I could make it. Like, now we're talking about in a time where my health decisions weren't necessarily the best of my life.

I may have stayed out a little too late drinking something of a darker colored variety. And I may have smashed like half of Johnny's pizza when I got done with it. So I ended up in the headlights of my... That's a recipe for a... I guarantee you. I may or may not have ended up in the headlights of my truck

on the side of I had 20. You have no choice. Headlights. Yeah. No, I was holding on to the bumper. Oh, okay. Yeah. Martin.

I'm telling you right now, son, I couldn't make it another step. Hey, if you eat all that, put all that in your gut, you can't even get through TSA no more. That is a bomb waiting to go off. I made it like right past the Mill Haven exit and that old mustache got to sweat and I said, I'll never make it to Ravel. So here we go. You break out in the cold sweat? No. No, it wasn't nothing cold.

Yeah. Everything was hot. Everything was hot. Hot. All right. Yeah. Yeah. You just ain't had to go.

You're just wanting to go for an experience. You ain't had to go yet. That's your problem, Stephen. So. Wanting to go for an experience? Yeah. What in the world? That's Wiley Coyote, man.

That is good right there. That's good, that's good. That's good, that's good. That's good, that's good. That's awesome. Yeah, that's clever. I would put that in my living room if my wife let me. That is very clever there.

Wiley Coyote. A coyote turned its head around, has a match at its rear in. on top of a rocket ship for those listening. That brings me, that's the old cartoon. Oh, oh, look at this cat right here. Oh, gee, got Billy the Big Mouth Bass up there. Oh, yeah. This thing can take me to the river, son.

Take me to the river. Billy the Big Mouth Bass is in the background. If that background right there don't scream our fan, nothing does. There's one switch missing from the light switch. You got a big mouth Billy Bass. You got American flag and you got a coyote strapped to a rocket.

They fans. America rules. I want to know who. I'll see you at Talladega, buddy. That's awesome. I do want to know who invented the Big Mouth Billy Bass and how much money he made off of it.

I don't know, but we had one. We had, no, we had like two or three of them. Does anyone out there still have one? Well, that guy. That guy. one still at my grandparents house. I'd probably go in there and we add him to the decor in here. We need one.

The problem is we got to put it out of reach aside pushing up. You don't want him nowhere near his side. They re-released him like two years ago or something. Academy had a big in-cap at Christmas of them. So you can probably get a new one. Maybe he's saying something different. They got an Amazon version now. You can say, Alexa.

Oh, Lord. Sing me a song. That's going to be like that Space Jam jersey you ordered. that thing was sweet until you washed it um oh now it sings hunting fishing and loving every day oh see you take me to the river if it ain't that i ain't interested if it ain't that martin ain't interested hey let's go let's let's spread some theology out there shall we oh i got something we got to show side though i think oh send me that then we'll go with here you hear me from north carolinas it's it's

says NC, I'm assuming that's North Carolina. He's gonna be real proud of my wife for this one. So she was celebrating her birthday. Kid three. Oh, no, Britney. Ooh. Look at that. Oh, no.

Sign, what does that do for you? No. Now, that's my woman right there. No. She sent me that and she said, I only took a picture with it because the snake's name was Britney, too. I said, how much did that cost you? She said a 20 spot. I said, oh.

God. She paid money to put a snake on her? Yeah, look how big that thing is. Man, that thing's awesome. That reminds me of Dom. That's why I married her. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. Uh-oh.

Okay. Yeah. And when I turned around, this bit of me's lady had a snake about three times bigger than that. Okay. His head was about this wide. And when I turned around, she shoved it in my head. What did you do?

then the only thing you heard was click the safety going off okay and i come this close to killing her and that stupid snake i love it don't go to new orleans yeah don't go to new orleans you got this hey i'm serious this thing could have that was her birthday man at one one eight here eight her it was the first time she left the house really says a twin's been born go wild girl got her some snakes Got her a snake on Bourbon Street, son. Good for her. Two things that I do not enjoy. Snakes or Bourbon Street?

That's right. I'm with you. All right. You boys ain't been trying to get rid of six months of cabin fever because she wasn't. I don't even think I could like having the time of her life. Oh, man. All right.

There you go. Sorry about that. No. Jeremy from North Carolina wants to ask a question. brother, his brother, Jeremy's brother, recently asked him to baptize him. Okay, that's cool. Yeah, that's what's up.

Goes to a large church. He wants to just be baptized, you know, and pawned out back, basically, smaller setting. And he asked me to do it because Jeremy studies the word, share as much as he can, he's honored, right? Mm-hmm. But he's worried, all right? He doesn't say he's worried,

but his question is he wants our thoughts on a person with no training and just a regular guy performing a baptism. Jeremy, do you know the gospel? Are you aware of what you're doing here? I'll think so. You are properly trained, my friend. You are properly trained, my friend. We can go theology when I know we're all going to agree.

Yeah. That's an easy one to be here. You are properly trained. You have the tools for that job. Yeah, I don't think I can find anywhere in the Bible when it says, go find someone more important than thou to baptize thou, brother. that's not in the King James or any version I've seen

Yeah What do you I be in second opinion so Second opinion Yeah I believe there's a version But you probably can find a second opinion About go out and baptize people So I think Jeremy you're just doing that

So I would say Go for it Oh yeah I would argue maybe perhaps you're overqualified So just do it man That's awesome That's cool, man. I thought it was really cool, but I also wanted to make our point there.

Getting to baptize your brother, you know your brother's been watching. Your actual brother, not brother and sister. There's a reason he asked you, right? Yeah, that's cool. Man, that's awesome. That means you're living, that you're practicing what you preach right there. You are living it out. Okay.

And that's, how can that talk. That is cool. And you know who else is watching? Everybody else, Jeremy, not just your brother. So keep it up, buddy. That's awesome. Hi, and then here's what I think we can probably all help with. Chaz from Winch,

Winchester, Virginia. I wanted to say Winchester's in Fieldville, but I didn't. Winchester, Virginia. He needs some advice. His wife is six months pregnant with their second baby. Congratulations. This pregnancy is way different than the last. The first one was smooth sailing all the way.

This one's different. Whole body hurts, mood swings. Not her fault. He knows that. She's carrying a human. He gets that. But she's going through it. And he's trying to be there, basically, and he's tired.

And she's only six months pregnant? Seven. Seven? So you got two more months. Start a countdown. Then you got a lifetime. I wasn't tired why Brittany was pregnant. That's what's crazy.

And she had two of them. Two of them. Yeah, I wouldn't. She was pretty good at being pregnant, though. Yeah, she was. Some women. I mean, considering we were remodeling our house. She was a freaking rock star.

And Anna listens now, so we might not can get stoned. But Allison, worst pregnant human being in the history of pregnant people. She knows it, I know it, her mom knows it. Everybody do. Everybody knows. At 30 weeks, they told her to lay down, right? Yeah, like, so I get where this dude's got like,

because you're just like, you're trying to do everything you can. She is on the- Is he tired from taking care of their other child? Is that what he's tired from? He's got work, he's taking care of the other kid. That makes sense. And I don't think there's anything wrong with, saying I'm tired.

No, get them a little help, man. Get some reinforcements. Yeah, reinforcements. Get you some reinforcements and let granny keep them. Let them all, papal, cousin, uncle, neighbor. I mean, just get you some help, man. We're all surrounded by a community.

And just make sure you use your community wisely. Like, don't, because you got to be, I'm way better after I get like a day, not even a day, like a half a day. I'm a better husband, a better father. better at everything. So sometimes you just need like six, eight hours to kind of unplug from it

and then come right back to it. So just why Brittany just I told her to go have a three day weekend in New Orleans. So like just get out of here. Go go be Brittany. Forget be a mom for like three days. And then come back and be mom again.

Speaking of hell, Beaufort wanted me to tell you that she'll be driving by a duck season. She knows the address. And I got Venmo. I got whatever form of payment she wants. And don't say it if you don't mean. You believe that, sir?

You believe that? Both probably be driving. Yeah. Because they grow up way too fast. Sad. Say it. I got her gas money. 100%.

And by duck season, they'll be one. So they're basically taking care of themselves. Oh, yeah. That's just something I like to tell myself, kind of like the countdown this man's on. I'm on the countdown to, I am through almost seven of 12 months of formula. Yeah.

I'm so happy. You got to step back and just say two more months and you just got to keep trucking. Because I do know what it's like to be in a house where, let's say, some women go out there and work out and do crazy stuff. What's the age difference between Carter and Ben? Two years. So I mean, Carter was still extremely needy when y'all got pregnant again. Oh, yeah.

I'm sure you were tired. Oh, yeah. And Allison just ain't good at being pregnant. And that's fine. Like, not everybody is. Some people's bodies just run with that thing. Yeah. And others don't.

But it's worth it in the end. Yeah. And it's... Community, my man. Yeah. Community. But I just wanted to encourage you and say, you're not going through anything other men haven't gone through. But it's on you to keep...

You're the leader of the house. You keep pushing and doing everything you can. And it's okay to be tired and sneakie a break in there. And from what I'm learning, too, this kid is probably going to be completely different than your other kid. We had two at the same time They couldn't be more different They were born two minutes apart

And have had everything the same And they couldn't be more different So If that first one slept all night Buddy I'm sorry I don't know what's about to happen to you But if he didn't sleep you got a chance Sleep rules

That's wild But use help It'll be fun though Yeah You're almost done You're almost there man you're like two-thirds done. That's cool.

And I let that thing cook. There's some more, boys. Allison was so bad at it. Seven months was like, any day now. We can laugh at it now. We're all good. All right, Jeremy, I got a verse for you. Back to the other email.

Jesus Christ was talking to his disciples, all 11 of them that were left. And he said, therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have committed. you and surely i'm with you always to the very end of the age those 11 dudes is who he said it to but he told them to go teach other people to do it you're one of those people it doesn't matter what your title is or anything as long as you're a follower of jesus christ you the man go do it

yeah they were the 12 disciples not the 12 preachers so you know hey we're all disciples there you go there you go sigh hey you can't stop that i was just going to let you say we're out of here You do whatever you want to. You do a big dog. All right, we'll see y'all next time. We're out of here. Side's not ready to say goodbye.