Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Has Proof He’s Better than Jase Robertson at Everything

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

Martin finally has the proof Uncle Si needs to show Jase just how wrong he’s been for decades. Phillip uncovers Si’s past as a lights-out pool player, and John David is irate that no one has asked Si to narrate a big nature documentary yet. Si and the boys make big plans for someday when their producer, Hunter, gets married. Si offers some deranged dating advice that everyone in the room hopes the listener doesn’t take. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's kick this baby off then. We ready? I don't think we've ever been ready. Martin, are you ready? I'm going to send President Trump. We ready to run. Oh, okay. Hey, we're out.

Welcome to the podcast, folks. I'm awake. We need a new holiday. I'm going to write a letter to President Trump. Okay. And we're going to get a new holiday. And it's going to be called Appreciation Day. And what you're going to do is you're going to count your many blessings.

Okay. Mandatory. Mandatory. And then you're going to give God the glory for blessing your sorry hide as much as he has. Can we do it like on the... You definitely don't deserve it. Fourth Thursday of November? Yeah, sounds a lot like Thanksgiving. I'd be fine. Appreciation Day. You know, the day where you're thankful for everything you've been given. We'll add that to one we already have.

I can name three just right away. Okay. First of all, you know, you're alive. You ought to be thankful for that. Then, hey, you've got some type of health. Okay, you may have some issues, but hey, you're alive and got pretty healthy. Thank you for that. And then the next one is, hey, you live in the United States of America. We've literally had an Irishman on earth. You ought to be thankful for that.

That is true. But not everybody that listens is American. Well, that's what I'm talking about. You live on Earth, not more. Well, I'm just saying, you know, because you could live worse places in the United States of America. Well, that's all I'm saying. 100% truth. If you doubt about there's evil on this earth, you know, look at what happened in New Orleans on New Year's Day.

Yeah. Yeah, that's bad. Yeah. We live in a, we live it on a wicked planet, folk. Yeah. Okay, and hey, look, you better be thankful for what God has given you, okay, and appreciate it. Okay, is all I'm saying. That's why I say I need a new holiday.

Appreciation Day. It's like double Thanksgiving. When are we doing it? What's the date? I say Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Eve. Thanksgiving Eve. If we're going to make our own holiday, we got to do it all right?

Yeah, it's already got one. No, no, no. This is a new one. We have Thanksgiving. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, Thanksgiving's already got his deal. So we got a amp.

All right. Here's what you do. All right. Bring it in half between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I like that. That's too many holidays. There's too much. Yeah.

This needs to be like in April. Well, that's easy. Why, is that a world? But sometimes Easter's up there in March. April 27th. That's birthday. April. Okay.

So our proposal to the president. Be all right. I mean, there's not. That's not a big. holiday area. Yeah. So April 27th, we're going to have National Appreciation Day. Now, the real question is...

What do we eat? Yeah, what's the official food of... Thanksgiving got a turkey. Well, hey, you don't want to... You don't want to always... My first... Sage. Duk dressing.

It's April. I know. Hey, we still eat duck dressing. Just take it out of the freezing. Why don't we make it Uncle Sye Day? No. We'll make it appreciation. Appreciation Day.

And then we can appreciate it. Yeah. On that day. National Appreciation Day. You know what? I'm going to say duck dressing should not be the official food. Well, hey, I guess it's a wrong time of year. Yeah.

But I like it, Cy, because when I was in college at Abilene Christian, we had to write down 10 things in this one class, 10 things that's good about your day today. 10 good things in your life. And people sat in there, there's a, I don't know, 50 or 60 people in this class. and it was hard for a lot of people to come up with 10 things that were good in their life. I got to give my hat off to old Jason Robertson, because when he was teaching the youths at church, oh boy, I was in that class. He told them all, he said, walk to the class and then,

he said, okay, here's what I want you all do. Close your eyes and get the image of God. And tell me what is your image of God is, which is cool. Yeah. Because most of them that went up. And they didn't know what to say. Yo, Mac Owens told me his image. Okay, which is, you know, with a life he lived

and then when he comes to Jesus and it's changed, I can see why. He said he was a white-haired old man, okay, with flowing long hair, okay, and fire, just like charcoal eyes, plays it with fire. He was up. They're just waiting for you to mess up, hammer you.

So Zeus, if you will. Yeah. So, yeah. But I thought that was cool way Jay's put that, okay? There it is. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's just the opposite of what you can come up with.

Yeah, that's right. Hey, the Almighty little, the Trinity, loves the human race. Yeah. If you got up this morning, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Did you have transportation? Did you make it the way you were going? Are you still breathing?

Yeah. Bridget Tatum, who used to be with me and my band, okay? She's a songwriter and a singer. But she said, you know, who woke you up this morning? And the answer is, hey, Jesus allowed you to wake up this morning. Okay, which is pretty cool. Okay, in my humble opinion. Yeah.

But I just think, you know, hey, you know, Your image of God, if you think he's up there with a hammer, wait, you don't hammer you when you mess up, it's just the opposite. He's there because the Trinity loves this messed up human race. Yeah. He gave us free will, number one. So we make our own choices, and like the Bible says, we're drawn to the evil one by our own evil desires.

okay so it's just you know it's one of the things that hey look you need to show some kind of appreciation for where you're at in your life yeah okay because hey you could hey it can always get worse buddy you ain't kidding yeah we see a lot of that oh hey you better you need to thank you stop and look and see why what's good about your life yeah and we're going to do that On April 27. That's right. On National Appreciation Day, when we eat. Whatever.

Tormei sandwiches. That's it. Everybody creates the greatest sandwich that they can. Johnny Godwin and a lot of that one. Exactly. Give me a hands out. And you just see who can make the best sandwich on national appreciations. It's like a great day for sandwiches.

Bart just gave you a bach. What's wrong with sandwiches? They're not as good as pizza That's a good point We don't get pizza. The pizza doesn't have a holiday That's because it's every day That's true I'd say, pizza is always a good celebration

I'd rather have hot food anyway I've got it. Okay It ain't nothing better than a good pizza You ain't never had a hot sandwich? Yeah Real cheese And I am? Yeah, come on

Hey Phillip way more into leftovers If you heat them up If you heat them up You can heat up any sandwich That's after you've been on a long trip, bringing home in a suitcase. I did that one time and then they won't get off of it. That's a man who's appreciative for good food if he'll bring it home in a suitcase.

They appreciate it good food. He takes it to the everywhere he goes. Or either the food at home's that bad. It's on the two. Could be that. But you boys are a lot more chipper than I thought. I heard you and you two wouldn't get along. We ain't ever getting along.

He's always doing something to me, but which what, now what are you talking about now? I don't know. Jace just said y'all were mad at each other. When did Jace say that? This more. They don't understand. While we were duck-up.

They don't understand. That's funny. He said, y'all were mad at each other, and he's officially been blacklisted from y'all's poker game. He said that. Who's blacklisted? Jay's. Oh, Jace is blacklisted.

Oh, he said that. He said that to himself. Hey, look, what he's doing is bragging on his plate. He's saying he's so good that. They don't invite him anymore. He did. That was a direct quote as well. Hey, that's a quote now.

That's a quote. I can't believe he said that about me and Cy. He said y'all were mad at each other. No, we're best friends. We love each other. Because somebody, one of you got the other one with like an inside straight draw or something. Now that happens all the time. But the same thing happens to everybody else.

I mean, I've seen Cy and Willie. I feel like there's the story here that they're not wanting to die. Go to the couch. What? Did something happen? I don't think so. He went home broke. That's not unusual.

That's not unusual. And look, it's been my way to. I've called home. Were you upset? No. And Sise had to go, Sys had to leave the table just go sit on the couch and be broke. And watch the rest of us play.

I'm out of money. Okay. It wasn't no squalling tires. It wasn't, it's like, oh. I mean, they're all over life because I was in my couch. Am I were kind of crying? All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sall Robertson, would say, buy on the grill.

Look, before we got Triedales, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. day and you never really know where that beef comes from but with trytails beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way try tales comes from a family ranch out in texas they're a fifth generation american ranch so they've been at it for a while now look the beef comes straight from their ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way their steaks are properly aged and ship straight from the ranch to your door we threw a couple of ribbys on the grill look salt

pepper garlic hot fire that's all you need look because i tell you what? When the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grill and season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat eater, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. I think it's funny that Jace thinks that. Well, no.

By the way, Jace owes $10. To who? Because, well, we put a group together from our poker friends, and Al said he was going to lose 60 by 60, and it was three to one odds on it. So if you put up saying Al would lose the weight, you got 30 bucks, and you could, there was a $10 max. And if you put...

He's trying to lose 60 pounds by the time he turned 60? And 60's already hit. I was about to say. about 65 to go. And we ain't seen Jason because he owes $10. That's right. Oh, he's already lost 60?

No, Jason has already lost 10. No, but I'm saying Al's already lost his 80. He lost weight. He didn't. No. If Al's trying to lose 60 pounds, he's got 65 to 70 to go.

Well, hey, look, him and Lisa, okay, they were on the, what was the diet was? Golden Corral. I don't know the name of it, but anyway, they was on that, and he lost. Johnny Speeds.

He lost the most weight. Yeah, they bring you food. Grubhub. Yeah. Dominoes. Then he looked and said, wait a minute. DoorDash. Yeah.

Wait a minute. No, let me go ahead and go back to my regular living and eat good food again. Who, Al's. Can't. Al's birthday's in two days. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he ain't going to make the 60.

You know, and look. How much does he stand to make? Because I'm wondering if he'll lop off a leg or something. No, no. Al's not in it. Still, he'll not in it. Still, still wouldn't make. Make it.

But Al's not in, he didn't put any wager down to win. But it was three to one against him. And Jason said, oh, no, my brother can do it. He put his 10 bucks up. Gone. My brother's going to lose that. Oh, if he says he can do it. Hey, he can do it.

Hey, I'm going to invite. He believes in Al, way more than he believes in Willie. Oh, wow. Now we're going down around. I'm going to invite him to the game. I'm going to send him a text today and say, don't be scared. show up and I'll let you know what his response is. Unashamed podcast.

I'm just trying to find a recent photo of Al. Oh. Yeah. Well, he's still healthy. Okay. Hey, I just, you know. He's getting more healthy, sign? Yeah, he's healthy.

He's healthy. Is that him with the lipstick over there? No, that's an ad. That's an ad. When was that? Oh, that was three days ago. Hey, have y'all seen the latest Red Bull? How did you pull that pause?

though where he's like healing his nipples. I love it. He's like massaging his man breast. I'm a man with a particular set of skills. That was a good scrub to get to that right there. I did see some and I'm so upset with NBC right now people. What did NBC do?

They have a new show coming out. Uh-oh, what's the name of it? I don't know but it's like planet earth. Oh. And I went to the movies last night. If your kid wants to go see Sonic the Hedgehog 3, tell him to go with a friend because it was the worst thing I've ever been a part of. But aside from that, uh-oh, Hunter disagrees. Well, Hunter drove to Austin to see Barbie,

so we're different. I haven't seen it yet, but I really, really want to. Hunter, it is terrible. But Keanu Reeves is in it. It can't be bad. No, it's bad. No, that's the exact reason of why it can be. It was so bad it heard. You heard it from the critics here. It was an hour and 50 minutes of pain. Uh-oh, pitiful. Oh, it's terrible. And I've seen a lot of kids. Are you going to send them a refund? I want my real free from? No, I ate enough popcorn to get my money's worth. But here's the deal. Before it, they had a thing, it's like Planet Earth. And

they had a, you know, the narrator's Tom Hanks. They're trying to copy PBS. Yes. And if they would have got Sai to narrate this thing, once again, it would have been the greatest hour of television in the history of television.

And it's all I could think about. But instead they got Tom Hanks. Instead they got Tom Hanks. He said they got Tom Hanks. Well, don't be bad on Tom Hanks. He's all right. Yeah, I mean, Forrest Gump was good. Yeah, but it's sad. I feel like we need to make our own planet Earth somehow.

PBS doesn't cover that, boy. That'd be Hunter. Don't try it. No, but you narrate it. It just, it would make such magic in my eyes. We can do our own. Hunter? There we go.

There you go. You get the footage? I know how to do it, boys. You can do it. I will support it however I can. Hey. But that upset me too at the movies last night. But they are having, you can go to the movies in like a week

and bring whatever bucket you want and they will fill it with popcorn for $5. So like you can slide in there with a Yeti bucket? Hey, I think that take a five gallon bucket. Hello. A trash bag. Oh, me and Carter, me and Carter are about to roll up. Do you all sell Yetty buckets at the Honeyhill? Uh-huh.

Oh, how is this not your next social media? Oh, look. Hey, look. How? Let's take the whole cruise to the movies. Each one of us got a five-gown bucket. Does it? But then, can you use anything as a bucket?

I mean, can it be, can I total? Oh, there's got to be some kind of. Can I tote like a 35-quart cooler in there? Because it's got a strap and a handle. There might have been a limit on it, but I don't think five gallons was the limit. Like, I think five-gallon bucket, it checks out. Uh-oh. You imagine sitting in there with a five-gallon bucket.

Ellen bucket in your life. Because they always do like the slushy thing. Nobody wants that. No, that stuff's trash. Hey, that would be a pretty good promotional ad. Bring your own popcorn. Yeah, bring your own bucket for popcorn. And Cinemark will fill it for $5.

And look, last night on the way out of the movies, I got that free refill in the double XL bucket that they had, and it's sitting on the counter right now. A popcorn? And I'm going to eat some tonight. Yeah, I love popcorn. Hey. January 19th is Bring Your Own

bucket down. Hey, that's pretty good market. So let's do it. I'm in. Hey, I like it. Hey, no, hey, you just remind me. 400 ounces is a living. Go to the grocery store, buy Fritos, large scoop. Fritos. You know what I'm talking about?

Oh, yeah, Frito Scoop. Okay, and then you buy you a pint of red salsa. Okay. And eat the whole jar and the whole package of. Fritos and salsa? Oh. Oh, yeah. I really prefer

Fritos or bean dip, but. Do, forget the bean. Get your red salsa. Yeah, but I like to, too. Hey, my maid bought me that. And, hey, I stood there and ate the whole bag. And an old package. What brand salsa?

All I know is, hey, it's the red, red. That's what it says. Get the red. Get the red. And it's fine. It's got a little heat. New York City. It's actually got a little heat to it.

And I was just, I wasn't even paying attention to open them up. I just started. You do know we sell salsa here, right? No, I didn't. Yeah. Got your brother's picture on it. It's kind of cool. Y'all sell salsa here?

Are you the only one that knows? Hey, on a scale one to ten, how is it? Oh, it's good. Is it? Yeah. Well, hey, I need to give me a jar. Take you some home today. I love salsa.

No, it's good. Sauce is like my favorite thing. Hey, that's my snack now. It's a large scoop of free dose. and my pile of red sauce I know why he don't want to eat bean dip The last time we stopped in the store And he ate bean dip with some of them fritos

We had to institute the courtesy roll That's when you hit the window down About two inches For about 30 seconds Did you also buy the bean dip from the gas station Oh this was years ago But this is when we started the roll down The courtesy roll because of the bean deck

No you don't let it down You go ahead and roll the window down It was awful Leave it down for a while. Are you talking about like this kind of bean dip? Yes. Oh, no, no. Oh, I love it.

Yeah. It was something like that from a gas station. I love the hot, no-name rapper. I love that Frito's hot bean dip. You do? Oh, yeah. I'm against y'all in every way. It's so good.

You're against this, Cy? Uh, freedom. Probably, I ain't never ate it. I don't like bean juice. He ate something like it. Oh, man. I do love hot bean dip. I do.

Oh, it's got to have a little heat. It's just refried beans. All it is. good because it's got a little heat to it. I mean, it's legit. Just refried bean. I do love a refried bean. As a fact, I think next time I'm going to come up here, I'm going to have my red sauce and my...

I've never had a fried... During the podcast? Have you ever had a fried bean? I'll eat the whole jar. I'll eat the whole jar. I'm sure. What's that, Martin? I was wondering if you've ever had a fried bean.

I've only had them refried. I don't know why. A one fry? You know what? I made refried beans homemade one time. How you do that? The pioneer woman? Yeah.

And I never fried the bean, but I did refry them somehow. Really? Blame it. I don't know why they're going. How are you refried bean? Hunter, is that something that you would know? Why are they called refried beans? I was just curious.

I made them from scratch, and they were awesome. Were they? It was a lot of work. Was it to pintoe bean? Yeah, you start with pentos, yeah. Well, I know, but hey, some of them use them in black beans. Well, that's black beans. Because you basically just, you basically just, you just,

boil beans. I don't like breakfast. So should they be called re-boiled beans? Yeah. And then you mash the beans. Ooh, no. And that's pretty much baby food. Now, the pioneer P-dubs, shout out to Ray Drummond.

Ooh. She does put bacon in the pot that they're boiling in. Everything goes better with bacon, baby. Hey, I. So. That's interesting. So that's got to, like, add some fat so it could be. frying.

Yeah. I've just always wondered why they were called re- refried because they were never to my knowledge fried in the first place. Refried. Refried. The term refried beans comes from the Spanish phrase

frioles refritos in Spanish. Oh, so some American didn't know how to speak Spanish. Refritos means to fry. And so some old boy in Texas heard them say, Ray fritos and he said, oh, y'all refried them and thus refried beans.

We figured it out. That's it. And if it's not true, never tell me, because I'm living by that for the rest of my life. It's never twice fried. That's what we're going with. It's refritos. Refritos. That's interesting. I want Spanish food tonight.

I feel like you need to know this too. That way next time you run into Stone and Jace, the two guys that say you never kill anything. Yeah. And that also never miss. Yeah. I watch them shoot a box of shells to try to recreate your crow killed today.

They couldn't do it, could they? No. I mean, Stone finally got it done there at the bitter end, but no. You know why? They was way out too far. Uh-oh. Too far. Out in front. Close, you know, most usually when you miss, he's

flying too fast. Okay. They were moving. They went out too far. Because when I killed that crow at 70, when we were junk hunting, I just let him and I just let him in a yogurt, then I just put it right on that head and pull the trigger. Bump, dead. He folded.

And then they tried to do it and couldn't. Well, just know, they shot a box of shells today trying to do what you did. I'm telling you, it was over a decade ago. I saw him fold up a crow. And I said, thanks for the podcast material. No, no, I. Hey, look, crow, when the ducks are not flying, the last thing a crow wants to do is fly in front of the duck barn.

He says he gets killed if he does. Okay, because I'm mad at beginning with because there ain't no ducks flying. It's probably unsafe for a lot of different birds. Well, hold on. Yeah. Yeah, well, if there ain't no ducks flying, you fly, you're going to fly in front of a duck fire. Because me and so, here's one of them do not do. Yeah, do not tell.

Yeah, no, no, you do not do not go to the marsh to duck hunt and then shoot a seagull. No, don't ever do that. Don't ever do that. It's a big, big fine if you do. Well, not only that, okay, if you shoot one, well, guess what? When he falls, here comes 1,000 more because they think he's found baitfish. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Allegedly, yeah. Allegedly, right? They ain't allegedly. That happened to me at the beach because I dropped some Fritos. Okay, yeah. You got attacked. And then seagulls came from everywhere. They followed you all day.

No, no, they had a, oh, I remind me. A sea captain, okay, he does it for a living. He's out, you know, with his people that hired him to take him fishing. Well, he's got this stupid seagull that always finds him wherever he's at. How cool is that? He's got his own seagull that actually comes and lands on the boat to be fed. Wow. Same one.

Same one. How do we know a seagull's the, like, unless you're knowing on a boat? And you're releasing them out, and you don't know it's the same one. They've got pictures of him. It's the same seagore. My question is, how does he know where he's going? Same way that's both? And be able to find him out on the ocean.

His name was Noah. He released the dove, and it came right back. This is the same one. I was going to say live scope, but I don't know. Hey, radar. Radar. Radar, baby. It's like radar love.

Let's talk about it. Radar love. Man, I love What? But how cool would that be have your own seagull Always follow you out of an ocean And land on it'd be fed? I feel like if you had a bird

It would be more like of a parrot situation. A parrot. How cool would it be if Si, like Cocoa Beware, had a parrot? You can teach crows to speak. And he spoke. Crows are really, really smart too. All the languages.

And Cy kills him. That one yesterday wouldn't that. And he smoked. He smoked in three lands. No, no, and he spoke all the language. Do y'all remember Cocoa Beware? I just think it would be super tight if, if Si had a parent like Cocoa Beware did.

Oh, hey, them say? Had a McCall. Hey, all that's my call. Hey, he'll cut you with his feet. They're mean. But, like, if you had one that was your friend and it, like, hurt me every day that we'd tell. Si, you can go to the Monroe Zoo,

Louisiana Purchase Gardens and Zoo, and go into it where they have a huge bird cage and they give you seed on a stick. You walk in and hundreds of birds just surround you and start eating that seed off the stick. Hundreds is a strong term. 20s. I don't know.

Maybe 100 total. Maybe 100 total. But I got some video of it is pretty cool. It's not terrible. You might like that. That'd be fun. They get caught in your beard, though. That'd be the only problem.

My kids like it. He can shoot it through the bottom. No. my kids have done that so I would look like that old chick off home your kids have done that have done the Monroe Zoo with the birds thing yeah was it did they like it

yeah but they're spoiled they got all these other big zoos well they saw the laugh hunter hunter's laughing well no no they told me don't know Johnny Dave from the mic bad about the Monroe Zoo they're doing all they can they've upgraded the zoo

yeah they really have seriously it's better in my opinion, I think they're trying to make it better. It still doesn't compare to some of the other big zoos. Make the Monroe Zoo great. Not again. Because it hadn't happened yet. No, back in the gap, it was pretty good.

No, no. No, we just didn't know no better. Like, then you go to another one. You're like, all right, this kind of. The only thing I'll say about the Monroe Zoo is they have a Black Panther. Hey. That's adept him up. Solidarity.

That's what all the type animals do they have to do in Monroe? They got a black panther. We know that. They have a black panther and some small birds. Yeah. Got birds. At least 100. Oh, they got a hippo?

There's a hippo. Alligators, albino alligators. They had a big old deer last time I was there. That's not going to look good on a wall. A deer? Oh, yeah. They got a train and a boat. You can take a boat ride and a train ride.

Oh, you got boat or a train. And a train. Both. Yeah. Well, they got a bingo tiger. They got a bingo tiger. He swims a lot. The tortoise is over a hundred years old.

He got the monkeys. Hey, hey, we're the, uh. No, the zoo is, the zoo went down for a minute, and I will say, new mayor of Monroe's doing everything he can to make the zoo great. Well, look. Yeah, he really is. Or a town our size, we got a great zoo. I'll fix a day. There you go, Johnny.

Finding something good. I fixed a. It's a good. decent zoo for the size of our town. If you want to see more wildlife in this town, and you show up at that place right down the road called the arena on Friday night. You see all kind of wildlife there.

That's where I gave those guys the slip. That's right, Hunter. I had a bunch of people following me to Sy's house, and I gave them the slip right there at the arena. He went in there and shot you a few games, didn't you? What is the arena? That little pole hall right down the road there. Oh, on this side of the river.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would seriously. You would be surprised at how good Si can play pool. I was shocked. I'm not kidding. So, you must have played a lot of pool in the military, to be honest. I did. Because you play really good.

The biggest amount of money I won is I won $266 at a pool game. Yeah, but how long ago was that? I was going to grade 40 years. So that's like when in 2000. Yeah. And I guess what I did? You paid rent. Went to Walmart, bought me a big tackle walk,

feel it full of bait, bought me a rod and reel. Hey, the honey hole was open. Hold on. No, we weren't. Not in 1936. Hey, I missed a whole $266 at Walmart for fishing. For fishing.

Oh, it hurts. I feel it. It's a true fan. It's not even the fact that it's not that it's somewhere. It's the fact that it's Walmart. Well, wait a minute. Now, don't bad about Walmart. Watch me.

Hey, Larry, the cable guy. Pop him, sigh. Pop him, he won't. Larry, the cable guy did not make Walmart famous. Yeah, he did. Well, Sam Walton made Walmart famous. Hold on.

No, Larry, the cable guy made famous. Really? I have no idea what he's talking. It's an interesting take, yeah. It is normally me and you versus the world over here, sir, but you and your Walmart. I'm not sure how Larry the cable guy helped Walmart. Because he couldn't have it. He doesn't skit about it.

Well, Doug Dynasty helped Walmart. There you go. Hey, we have the boy. Couldn't have hurt it. Yeah. I mean. I haven't been in Walmart's fishing section in decades. Me, I don't even know where it is in the layout now.

It's got to be to the right still, huh? I ended up at that big Walmart during Christmas break. Did you? Really? Yeah. Who hurt you? Oh, I had to go get the boys some stuff. I got to say, I bad mouth Walmart a lot, but that, I'm a yearly member of

We Will Deliver Whatever You Want to Your House. Oh, you want at Walmart? plus bag. It's one of the best things ever. Hey, what do you want to eat tonight? I don't know.

Let me type in my phone all the ingredients and then somebody's just going to drop them off on my porch. The future's bright. That's all I'm saying. That's somebody's hunter,

by the way. That's your light shine. Are you a Walmart delivery guy? No, I am not. He moonlights as a Walmart delivery. I know a guy that does that. He makes good money. I like doing things myself.

It's something about me going to the store and getting it myself is. No, I'm talking about you're just the delivery driver. No. You'd be a good pizza delivery guy. I'm an anxious driver.

I would turn down the wrong streets a lot. You're anxious, really? You need to ride with Si about one of you. The frazzled guy behind the computer's anxious, huh? You'd never be scared again. The nervous purpose himself over there's a little, ah, it's a gibbity. The man whose voice always quivers when he starts talking, you're anxious, huh? I'm just trying to help you cure it up.

He has anxiety attacks. I don't think he does. Is that part of being a twin? Am I going to have to deal with that? Or is that just? I have no idea. Or is that part of being raised down there on the riverbank? I was raised in Rustin.

I was bullied a lot growing up. I blame that, usually. Who bullied you? Everybody. Bring them to me now. Wow, you're definitely one of the coolest people I've ever met from Rustin then. I didn't realize that. By far.

Yeah. I'll hurt somebody for you, Hunter. Thanks. Hey, look at me. Look at the camera. He'll hurt somebody for you. He means he'll get the fight started and he'll be nowhere to be fine. But the fight will be.

be a good one. Don't trust him. That's right. But that's why I never did any sort of delivery thing. I thought about it like during COVID and stuff. But no. That's a good job because you can do your regular job and then like in the evening go like for four hours and just deliver people stuff.

Yeah. I figured that would be like as a single guy like renting all the things. I mean, I figured that's like a six to 10 p.m. job that probably pays decent or something. Yeah. No, it's good. It's kind of an easy hustle. Yeah. You get tips.

Well, I just photograph weddings and film weddings right now. There you go. Making extra money. That's a good gig. I'm glad you're doing that, honey. I like side gigs. Well, that's enough to make anybody's foot shake like yours is right now. No, that would be the Celsius I train.

Oh, I mean, that back foot over there is bumping. He just put both of them on the ground because I called it out. That back foot over there was going like a hundred RPM. There's nothing wrong with being a little jittery. I was recently in a wedding and I wish Hunter would have been there to photograph it because he would have kept the camera on how much I couldn't stand still. I got down after the wedding. My mom goes, you can't sit still, can you?

I was like, no, it was like a 10-minute wedding. How was I supposed to stand there that long? Yeah. I move a lot, is what I've been told. Hey, say, I do, and you kiss the road. You're a fidgetter. I will say, you know, my cousin Heath, he's been on the show once. Uh-huh.

He performed the wedding. Oh. Greatest? As the minister or? Yes. Oh, I don't know if he was the opening actor. No, he was the whole shabank. He is a comedian.

Let me tell you something. I think it was eight minutes. The bride and groom said, hey, we want this quick. We just want to have a ceremony. So he got up there. He said, I got advice from the Bible. Here it is, and here's advice from me.

Y'all ready? I do, I do, kiss her. Let's go. It was everybody like cheered. Not for the people getting married for Heath. It was so good and fast. That's awesome. There you go.

Don't waste time. Get a comedian to do your wedding. It's wisdom. There you go. Anyways. Interesting. Hunter, I will gladly perform your wedding one day. And I will keep it below 10 minutes.

If I ever get married, I'll let you do it. Okay. Okay, that is a binding law agreement. That's right. Verbal. Oh, I guess that leaves me to be his best man since you've got to perform the wedding. Yes. There you go.

As a man who was recently a best man, that is way more expensive I get to wear whatever cars I want I'll even be the ring bear I bet here's all I'll tell you I bet mine and hunter's party a little wilder in yours

I'll fix it out I bring the ring bear I ain't saying I'm gonna be there but I'll throw him a good party So I would love it if you were my ring bear I would hey I'll be it Hey it wouldn't that be funny Hey

And Christine the flower girl Tocos Hey you go boy I feel like if With that flaming red hair If this new old girlfriend finds out about this, we might be in trouble, so don't tell her until y'all are getting there. Oh, yeah, she's going to run for the hills.

She should. Yeah. If Si's your ring bearer. I think it'd be cool. Yeah. Cy was a monkey. Like Cy walking down the aisle with an orangutan, and they're both, one of them's holding his rings, one of them's holding the other one.

On her special day, this is what y'all are planning up. Hunter, don't do none of this. Boy, hey, Hunter, have you got an interesting wedding coming up, boy? Yeah. Hey, right outside Comic-Con. We can do it. We can do it. I give it a single-

I never wanted a normal wedding. I give it six months if y'all do it that way. Oh, man. John, dude, we got anything? I feel vindicated. In an inbox, what happened? Just so Matt Walsh just tweeted about Sonic the Hedgehog 3 being maybe

the worst thing he's ever seen in his life. I'm telling you it's terrible. Anyway. Did you go over, you ever go see Moana too? I haven't seen it yet. Okay. Or Mufasa. Mufasa.

I literally, one of Ben's friends was at the movie, and he was like, I'm going to see Mufosson. I was like, Big Mac, tell you what, you go with Ben's, and I'm going to go with your parents. Here's a lesson you should have learned

from going from the movies. Remember we started this out with Appreciation Day? Tell him, son. April 27th? Okay, hey, look, sandwiches. Okay, that's what this should teach you, okay?

You've got to learn to appreciate a good movie when you see one. And we got to learn to warn the world about bad movies with two, there's two different Jim Carrey. Oh, you've got to have the credit. Okay, you've got to have the credit. The only thing I know about Sonic to Hedgehog is in boys.

Oh, hold it. They make a good hamburger, cheeseburger. Look, and Sonic also makes a nice milkshake. That's appreciation. And that's appreciation. Best thing Sonic ever did, maybe. And I appreciate their strawberries cake. And then two dudes in the commercial from back in the day are funnier than both Jim Carrey's in that new movie.

That's it. There you go. That's enough, Jim Carrey. We're done with you. Now, what did the guy say? I don't know. He said the movie was terrible. It's terrible.

But bring your own popcorn. We got JD being agreed with. The movie was horrible. Don't go see it. Don't go see it. Hunter, play us a voicemail. Hunter said, when I came in, he goes, I found nine really good voicemails.

Nine? Nine? Nine. I'm very excited. I mean, we're not going to get through nine today. I'll fix that. We ain't will be able to handle it. Although I have one email.

Are you ready, Hunter? or should I do this email? He said thumbs up on me. Go for it. I asked you, not a yes or. Hey, that's a thumbs up. Are you ready? Are you ready?

Okay. Jenna 19 from Ohio. She needs relationship, this advice. I had this guy like, we don't talk much. I want to find a way to reach out to him that doesn't seem awkward. What do you suggest I do? Hit her with it, Sa. Me?

Yeah. Hey, look, Gina. You grab this clown and hey, you put one on him. I mean, hey You kiss this dude Like you ain't never kissed nobody before No And I guarantee you at that he'll talk to you

Well, yeah That's my take on that baby All right, Jenna Good luck Oh, there you go Maybe just walk up and say something else But Or kiss him, your choice

Hey I'm terrified I'm all for love, baby Just make him laugh You know, hey, spend some time with him. Martin's done. I said, just walk up and... Lay one on him.

Tongue down his throat and lay one out of there. That's right. Hunter, what would you do? You've never... No, I'm no, I'm saying, you've never met this, or you rarely talk to this chick, whoever she is. She just walks up to you and kisses you right in the mouth. That happened to me once.

Hey, uh-oh, bong, bong, believe it or not. I thought it said believe it or not, baby. I'm going to say not, but I didn't want to talk to her ever again. All right, Jenna. Don't treat your grandmother that was. That's not nice. That ain't right. That ain't right, but it's funny.

That was good, Mark. You ran away. Yeah. Why? I would run away. Because that was a bit strong. And how old were you? 19?

19. How old was she? 18, I think. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Y'all just reminded me my first day at school. Uh-oh.

Somebody held you down and kissed you? No. The opposite. I had this fine little girl that I love her in love with. Hey, I grabbed her, kissed her, and my sister had to pull us apart. Times were different back. Oh, oh, no. You would be in jail.

if you were in ice school. Hey, hold on. Hi. So I was a smooth talker. Hey, look. You would be on Fox News. Thank God. Cy Robertson didn't have Tinder.

Hey, I was always for love, boy. I mean, he'd swipe. I don't even know the direction. I don't either, but. Was it left or right, Hunter? Right. Okay. So I'd be swiping right everywhere.

Is that the good one? Yes. Hunter said, yes. Hey, love makes the world go around. We're going to have to pull Hunter back over here. Now I'm curious about Hunter's Tinder. I show appreciation. Not good.

Not good. Did you ever like say a 40 year old on there and you just shot your shot? No, you can set the age limit. Why would you? Where's your age limit? Oh, he's talking about me. We're talking about Jenna. No, you're not talking about Jenna.

We can talk about Jenna and you, Hunter. She's only from Ohio. Well, she ought to be happy. Her Buckeyes are doing good. there you go. Anyways, that was wild. Don't kiss him, Jenna. Hey, yeah, you do.

Or do. Look, kiss him until he just passes out. But I'm telling you, if he's a nervous little guy with a tick, like my man over here shaking his foot, apparently that method doesn't work. I say get to know him and make him laugh. He's a guy riddled with anxiety from too many energy drinks. Don't try that.

That's all I'm going to say. If he's drinking water, you might can try it. If he's got a high caffeine, if it says 18. plus on the can, don't kiss him. It would freak him out. That's that getting to knowing part. Golly. I agree with you, Philip, making him laugh.

I think if she also like, why can't you say Jenna? What did you say, Hunter? I agree with you. Like, get to know and make him laugh. But I think she can also, like, ask him out herself. Just go for it. You're the woman. You have all the power.

Yes. Yeah. Hey, let's go. Look at Hunter. Let's go to Sonic. They're going to say yes. There you go, baby. The Sonic's great.

Who's got the power? Waffle House? Great place to ask someone else. Waffle House. There you go. Hey. Waffle House cures all. Hey, it is.

Waffle House is friendly and the atmosphere is right. It's good food. Kind of like Sonic. Hunter, you got a voicemail for us? I do. Hey, y'all. My name's Casey sitting here with my son, Axel, who's about the age of your son's Martin. anyway we were curious what kind of shows your little ones are into

we'll give you time to guess where i'm from sonic the hedgehog no they're what do the boys wait wait wait you want to guess uh where he's no way to guess where indiana yeah he's very standard ohio indiana you want me to play yeah go ahead yeah Wisconsin originally living in kentucky now thanks You average that out to get Indiana. Great job, Martin. Martin wins. Right, there you go.

No, the boys watch, what is that? They watch number blocks on Netflix. Number blocks is a good one. Yeah, they like that. There's some other one on Netflix that Brittany. Ben's watched number blocks and he has never missed a question in math. Yeah. Ever.

He's in the third grade. They've recently taken a liking to Paul Patrol and Rubble and crew. So dogs with construction equipment. Like, yeah, who doesn't? Like, they're boys, right? That's cool. I will give a shout out for when they're older. The Dude Perfect app is what my boys are allowed to watch

because I can walk away and know they're not going to see anything. YouTube can be scary. You don't know what's coming next. Oh, but the Christmas, the holidays, they really took a liking to the animated Grinch too, which thank goodness. That's a really good one. That's like my favorite Grinch movie. But the Dude Perfect app is safe for kids older than.

But they don't watch TV. I mean, they're not very... Kids are outside, killing things. They are very much into trucks. Looking at crows. Trucks and fist fights. That's what they're into. Or not real fist fights.

Just headbutting each other. That's what my daughter's into is fistfights. Yeah, they'll get there. They'll graduate to that, I'm sure. The boys are like, why is she hitting us? Get her back, please. Why is she so mean? One more.

Unomas. Unomas. What's going on, boys? My name... Is that Phil? And this question is for John David. Oh, thank God. I know.

You're constantly wearing that watch on your wrist and know that it is a Rolex. And I want to say you said from your grandfather, my question is kind of personal. Oh, God. Do you wear that Rolex because it's a Rolex, or do you wear it because it's a family heirloom from your grandfather and or both? Calling out of Davenport, Iowa, but originally from Tennessee. Y'all have a good one. That's a weird question. Why are you what?

Why are you wearing it? Because it's cool as crap, man. That's all you got to say. There you go. Actually, this is my grandpa's wedding ring that he wore for 50 years, so I wear that more about that. And then I have two watches, if you must know. The other one fancier than the one I have on now. Both the other one was actually my pap balls watch.

This one, a guy bought from my papal because he owned a jewelry store. and then I ended up with it somehow some way. So you got two Rolex? I didn't say what the other one was. He said fancier, but I don't know how it gets fancier. It's more fancy. I don't know. He owned a jewelry store.

It's weird. I had a queen-sized bed. Leave me alone. What's the other one? Is it a Rolex? Yeah. But a tighter one, like a... A tighter one.

Like, what color is it? A little more expensive. What color is it? Not a little. I know that. Well, if it was his. It was gold. Gold.

Like yellow gold. It ain't got no numbers on it. Oh, that's tough. You got to wear a chain or you wear that? No. You got to have like. You get nervous. Somebody cut your hand off if you wear that one.

Yeah. That's like, nah. Okay. My favorite part is that Willie makes fun of me all the time for stuff like this. What's that? The Rolexes? All of it.

Oh. And then he's like, you know what I'm going to do with my life? Spend all of it just to move to the street I grew up on. Thank you. There. Anyways. Oh. What are you got for us, J.D.?

I have no idea now. It will feel bizarre. I thought you had something out. I did. but now I'm confused because I got a very weird question. What time is it? Rolex. I don't even know how to read this watch.

It has to be digital for me to read. Watch this. We're just going to go out on a super limb and say, the Lord led us here to Psalm 1125. And he did. Nope, Proverbs 1125. That's funny. A generous person will prosper.

Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Yes, I have a fancy watch for my papal, but I've been told by others he was the most generous person that they ever met. He was. And I get to be a part of that generosity. And now he's got like some plaque

on the side of the road. He does. He really does. I got to get out of here. All right. We'll see y'all next up.