Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Is Dumbstruck by What This Criminal Did to Justin Martin’s Mom

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Uncle Si can’t believe the dumb thief who comes nightly to Justin Martin’s shed. He’s got a few suggestions to keep the lowly thief away! Jay Stone tells a hilarious story about a purple belt in his jiu jitsu class who left Burly begging for mercy — and she’s a girl! John-David gives a small update on the Honey Hole thief and Martin is incensed about his nefarious nightly visitor. The boys discuss the chances of Joe Exotic becoming president and give relationship advice to several young men needing it…though perhaps they got more than they bargained for by asking the opinionated Duck Call Room crew! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. We are here for another, I hope, unfilled episode. I don't really know. We never know. I could look at our script like those guys over at Unashamed, dude, but we don't have one of those. They don't have a script. They haven't. No, they got an outline, though.

They actually put in pre-work. We just come in here, shoot the bull for about five minutes, say, Hunter, you ready? They have a plan. They do have a plan for if it all falls apart, but we just kind of roll with it. And that's why they win awards. I will say, look, the bug has gotten me. What bug? The thief bug.

So it's coming for everybody, apparently. I said before we got talking, I wasn't going to talk about this because I just mad. I don't really care to go down it because it's gotten me to a place I've never been to in life. And I'm not going to discuss that because YouTube of Flaggis and probably so with other podcast apps. But that's fine. I'll talk to it about a counselor at some point, I'm sure. Y'all, Martin's mad. Very mad.

I'm very mad. I put a camera out in plain sight to let... Oh, he would know. Let the guy know. You got us. We see you. Now leave. Nope.

Just keeps coming back. But he saw the camera. He made eye contact. I sent you the video. You can send the video to Hunter. Let's put it. Have you seen the video stone? No.

I now have all of my trail cameras that I use every year deployed for deer and ducks trying to just get more video of one stupid idiot who I'll give him this if he had a job he would probably be a very good employee because he shows up every night you can count on him he comes to work like he is legitimately there every night undeterred but he comes he shakes the door he leaves because now the door is changed shut so sir if you for some reason listen to this I doubt you do. But maybe you're one of the ones in our inbox in the emails. This life has just falling apart.

If not, it's about to, buddy. Just leave. And the worst part is he's dumb enough to keep coming back, but he's smart enough to cover his face. So we can't really... You blasted him out. Well, the problem is... There's no way to really tell.

The problem is he's going to do like that one old boy. I think we talked about this, but he's going to end up getting a sunroof where that ball cap sits is what's going to happen. Ain't going to be by me because you know what? He doesn't got everything in their value. All right, let's see. Look. You can see the moment.

Oh, whoops. That's the end of the video. There he is. There he is. So he glances up there. Oh, he's a fine looking physical specimen. He sees the camera. He's looking at the camera right now.

Ready? So I go back. Let me go touch the door. Oh, wait, there's a blue light on on the camera. That's why I did this. He gone. I don't know this was on the 16th Yeah

Oh boy Does he come back after this? Stone Today is the 17th He was there at 1.30 this morning So he saw the camera And then decided I'm gonna walk back up there and try it again

Yeah Maybe it won't be on tomorrow And he did it again Look at them beady little eyes And I don't know what kind of desperado You think you are bro Yeah But that little two-speed you're riding on ain't a horse.

He said that's barrado. That backpack ain't bulletproof. Like, you go end up messing with the wrong person stuff, and you're going to die over this. That's not a good thing. Turn your life around, bro. Come to work here. I'd love to have people show up every day. Come put an application in.

I mean, we don't need a night shift anymore, but you at least show up every day. He said he shows up every day. Like, my goodness, man. Unbelievable. But that's where I'm at. So y'all see. Duck call room listeners, you know, whatever. If you know that cat, you don't know him.

Nobody knows him. He's been doing this for over a year, multiple videos, and wherever he lives or whatever he does, he avoids capture and arrests. So he's just decided to make us his next target. Wait. Huh? He's riding a bike? Yeah.

Like a motorbike or just a bike? No, bicycle. Two-wheel drive. Two-wheel, two-foot drive? Two-foot drive. Yep. man-powered. It's over in the bushes. But, like, I mean, I've got so many spy points just littered across the property.

I got every angle of him you want. I got everything but a social security number and date of birth. Like, can we get his fingerprints? They've fingerprinted it, but he, the, apparently that 10 with the humidity, you know, it catches humidity and kind of washes off every day. But apparently when he gets inside or when he was inside, he had gloves on because they found like the smudge marks and like, you know, all that kind of stuff. So, buddy, I hate to break it to you. Short of cutting a hole in that shop now, you cannot get in it. You're going to have to bring a side grinder and cut a hole in the shop.

You will not get in it anymore. Neither can I. But you won't either. Martin can't get to his own stuff. I'm not even going to remember all the steps it took to get it to where it is. But it's a very elaborate system where you have to start an order. or you're in trouble. Like you,

I hope I don't need nothing out of there in a hurry. Let's put it that way. That's the walk of shame there. He'd been caught. Yeah. But then, oh, but last night he was going to be slick.

He come back in a dark colored shirt last night. Same shoes, same backpack. They come from the same direction? Same direction. Same hat? Same hat. Everything.

Same tattoos. I'm trying to identify the hat. What criminals have. Sir, you're going the wrong direction. Bold. Change your life and... Hey, our buddy's over...

No, I knew what direction? At the other tackle shop in town, they got three reels cut off just like we did the other day. Yeah, I saw that. They post out. They got better cameras than us. Bravo to them. But apparently y'all's got found.

I don't know if theirs has or not. We're in discussion. Oh, see, been to y'all... Don't steal reels. We'll all come after you. Yeah. Well, don't steal anything. Yeah.

Like this old boy, what do you need $20? You need $50? Just come ask me for it. Well, the problem are... We can come up with a trade. More than likely, if you're bold enough to... What are we? Four nights in a row.

Yeah. You're probably not in the right headspace. And the Washedaw Parry Sheriff's Office has the access to my spy point account. So last night, they were there within three minutes. Oh, really? Yeah. If you're listening, buddy, you better run quick. You better...

That was a pretty clear video with that. Yeah, I mean, they're good camera. point. I need to get some of them for the store. Our cameras are kind of run. Well, they're motion activated, so you're going to run through a lot of memory cards if you keep that up. But no, I did. I switched it. I got all the pictures and I was like, you know what, I'm through this guy born. I'm going to put it in video moak. I know a little blue light comes on when you do it.

You see a warning shot. I just said, maybe he'll see the blue light, which he did. He knew he was recorded. And he came back. Just leave. But then I swapped it back to picture mode. I was like, well, that stupid idiot ain't coming back. He obviously made eye contact with it. So let me go back to photo mode so I don't use up all my memory card. Nope. There he was. And I woke up at 4 o'clock this morning to a text from the sheriff said, we almost were in time. I mean, I just gave him my email and my log in. I was like, here you go, bro. That's crazy. There you go. Is it just me or have criminals become a lot more bold than they used to be? Or desperate? Or I don't know.

know what their problem is. Well, I can tell you what the problem is. Not enough consequences. They go sit in jail for 48 hours in their let out. We start lopping their hands off like they used to in the old day. All of a sudden, wiggling that door going to be a lot harder. It's harder to do. I'm just saying.

Si's waving a knife in the hair. But the problem is, you know, if they do catch him and this cat hears me say this, now I can probably be in trouble for saying lop his hands off. Better than what I'd do to him, but that's neither here nor there. Maybe just like one finger. at a time. Yeah. Yeah.

No, you need to get rid of the thumb for sure. Turn him into a dog. Lawbreakers. Yeah. Get rid of the thund. The lawless. Not many consequences going around these days. No.

And, well, but the problem is there is one big one coming for him if he keeps that up. They call it judgment. Yeah. That's not something to laugh about. It's the saddest part. Like, we got a joke about it. But that is, like, one day, if you run around stealing for people, you go have to look at the creator of the universe in the face and say,

well, what did you do a lot of when I was down there? Well, I stole other people's stuff because I didn't want to get off my butt and earn my own. Yeah. I can remember when I was a kid coming up, when I witnessed another kid smart off to our teacher. Now, this is not his mama or his daddy. This is his third grade teacher. She immediately whipped him up.

by the back of his neck, walked him to the front of the class, got out a paddle, and tore his butt up. In front of everybody? In front of the class. Guess what? Nobody else smarted off to that teacher. That's what I'm saying. A lot of times he did that. All you guys to do is make an example of one of them. Well, God bless educators and law enforcement these days. Yeah. But how in the world can they effectively do their job? I don't know. I don't know how they do it. There's a new video every day of kids like just, it's the craziest thing. But they're just not even trying to obey their teachers in school.

And then the other kids are over there filming it like some dummies. You can't do nothing about it. You can't do nothing. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do. I'll look at how the conference has to come in a rest if it happened today. Oh, I know it. Oh, yeah. If they did that today.

You paddled a kid at school. When I was growing up, listen this. When I was growing up, if you acted up in the neighborhood, not only would you you'd get your butt tore up by the the neighbors that's right oh well you they'd whip your butt okay and then the first thing they do was call your parents and say hey i just called your son acting a fool and i tore his behind up and then well guess what happened when you got home same thing dad got his belt out and tore your old behind up again after you's already so even worse yeah and gave it to you twice as worse

It gets your butt whipped all the way to the house. Hey. Well, that was just the way things were. I guarantee you that boy ain't toaded one in a while. Yeah. But I show like to give him one. But let's take a break. We'll be back right after this.

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Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson, would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day.

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I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. Gene of the big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. How do you get that tether up on that bike? I'll fix that. Yeah, I don't know.

I just found the drag marks over there in the bushes. Where he drug it. Yeah. Drug the tines. He ain't far. He ain't far. Oh, he's the neighbor. I'm about half convinced he got somebody picking him up picking the loot up too.

Oh, yeah. Because of what he, you know. He's got an accomplice. Well, because he seems every time he goes to leave there, he reaches in his pocket, like he's going for a cell phone or something to let somebody know either, hey, come get me or, you know, it just is. Well, he may be calling somebody, hey, to come get me out of the caboose. Well.

The jailhouse. Hmm. The caboose. No, next phone call, he's going to be the molehurns. Uh-oh. No, I'm kidding. I'm rolling. No, they got, that's a flower shop.

Yeah, it just amazes me. That was two things that you'd get your butt tore up for at my house when growing up. Lion and stealing. Hey, lying and stealing. Oh. And tearing up. You got your butt tore up. And look, when you were stealing, oh, you, Mama put the, she put some, you know, some muscle in to, when you, you know, stealing.

What about poaching? Oh, hey, poaching was in. Well, they ate them. But, hey, that was for live fruit, like pecans and whatever. Well, look, if that man was coming over there to garden to get him a handful of tomatoes and peas and stuff, that's fine, go ahead. Pick you on.

I don't care. Go ahead. We got plenty of them out there. My brother faced this when he was commercial fishing. Okay. They would run his nets. He didn't mind them running his nets, but they didn't know how to reset him.

That's what made him mad. So that's what made him mad, okay? I don't mind you getting fish because he just finally told him, you know, he caught him. You know, they got the net in the boat, getting the fish out. Gosh, the mighty, I would not want to be caught taking some of the railroad. He's got that 16-gauge browning. Gosh, mighty.

I think, say, don't forget that part about him having that shotgun. Oh, yeah. Hey, he's got that 16 automatic browning loaded. Okay, and talking to these boys said, hey, here's the deal. Poind it at him. Yeah, and he's got a point of him. He said, here's the deal. I wonder what feels.

He said, look like somebody's having a fish fry. He said, how many people you got coming? And they're both just, you know, deer in the headlight. He said, hey, I ask you a question. You got a fish fry going on somewhere. He said, how many people you have figured are going to show up? You know, and they finally, uh, 10? Yeah, he said, well, let's see, no.

You know, so he throws about 15 fish in the bottom of their boat. You know, and he said, hey, let me throw you five more extra because when you start frying fish, somebody's going to show up, you didn't figure it's coming. You know, so I asked him, I said, well, how's that going? You know, he said, oh, no. But he told them boys, he said, hey, here's the deal. Don't run my nets. If you want some fish, you come up and knock on that door,

and I'll come down here and get you a mess fish because you don't know what you're doing. You're costing me money. So he literally killed him with kindness, and they stopped stealing from it. Killed them with kindness with a gun pointed in their general vicinity. Well, I was just in case they wanted to choose violence. Some days you wake up and choose violence. Yeah, we can have a. Well, it was Phil's line.

He said, I'd rather give them a Bible study, but if they want a gunfight, I'm ready for that. Hey, yeah. You gotta draw a line of sand somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard Phil say it. He said, I'm prepared to either share Jesus or introduce him to him.

Yeah. Either one. Either way. I'm equipped for either. Yeah, either way. And I always kind of chuckled, not really, you know, knowing how that felt. I know how that feels now because I'm like, yeah, I'm saying way. Which one you want to do, hammer it's on you.

Dealer's choice. Here's the thing. You know, I can see it. you're filthy rich, but most people have to work for a living. And they work hard for what they get. Guarantee you. And then you got some idiot, okay, come stealing their stuff. Yeah, he ain't Robin Hood.

Yeah. The sad part is there's not many of them left on earth. I'm talking about the people that work hard for a living. Yeah. Yeah, because everybody now is, hey, give me, give me, give me, give me. That's right. I just don't understand why you work. hard at night to take somebody else's stuff that you get less money for it.

You just went to work. These days, you'd make $15, $20 an hour. That's more than you're going to get for the stuff you're poning. And not over that. Then you're risking, okay, running up on some guy that, hey. And you ain't got to be up all night. You can go to bed. You might run up on somebody that just, hey, he's about half crazy and just go ahead and decide,

well, hey, I'll break this up and stop it right now. Boom! And, hey, then you're going to be going to the under-take. Yeah. To be put it in the ground. Oh, the real one. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, this, yeah, this, you run up, hey, there's some crazy people out there. He turning me into one of them. Yeah. But, you know, it is what it is. You know, you're putting yourself at risk. The lack of sleep on top of the twins, on top of everything else. Yeah, he turning me into one. No, no.

Oh, yeah. Because every time that phone goes off at night with my trail cameras, I'm like, oh, man. Well, there's, there's a real. I don't know why I keep checking, because now the sheriff's department got it. I ain't got checking them more. day the ones. Nah, but you want to know. I do.

And I really low-key want to watch him get him. Because now it's under your skin because he's doing you dirty. Oh, yeah. He's basically every time he looks at camera, he's giving me two middle fingers, which is a disrespect of all disrespect. Which is why I stay away from there, because I'm not sure what I'd do if I passed cross. Well, you know. Hello, friend.

Yeah, it wouldn't be that. And I'm not sure I'd start with 1 Corinthians 15. You'd say, you have a fish fry tonight? Well, it's one of the deals by that. Adam. It's one of them about, hey,

look, you know, how far are you going to push me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I remember in high school,

okay, you know, my father used to tell him all the time about you going to run into the bullies and the only way I don't want you to do it,

but the only way you're going to stop him is you're going to stand up and go ahead and get it on and end this right now. Well, that's where this is at.

You just keep on pushing the button here and, hey, one of these days, I'm going to blow up. on you. Yeah, I'm going to end up like barely. I'm going to end up over there in Stone's jujitsu class for anger management. Yeah, for angel management. I'm having to go over there and let somebody else choke me out for anger management, you know. Stone, don't worry, I won't throw you

into the wall, though. I ain't, I ain't strong enough pick you up. I appreciate it. I ain't strong enough pick you up and go stumbling into the wall. I just now recovered. We keep everything on the ground as far as I'm concerned, so. But I also ain't going to make it three or five minutes, It's either one. I don't know which one it is, but I ain't making either, so. It's five. Yeah, no. Sometimes eight.

Yeah, nope. Not even a little bit of a chance. Speaking of Burrow, he's back in town this week. Yeah. We had a new blind build, a sigh. Yeah, I've seen it. It looks great. You went down there and saw it?

Oh, no, he showed it. He's got a picture. I showed him a picture of it. So we had the best duck hole on the property. Also had the worst duck blind. I made it. I welded together a metal frame and we put it in a mound. You're a welder?

Yeah, I welded. We measured it. Yeah. You built a duck blind that was a foot and a half white. Oh, well, well, I mean, I just, hey. That ain't his fault. No, no, no, back, yeah, no, back. I can guarantee you that was Phil's instruction.

No, no. Give me, give me, I needed to hold a. Look, we went, okay, from building a duck blind to catwalk. Well, it was not. duck blind we put three duck blinds together this was a hotel okay

we're not talking about the same one oh no no you spill on the lake we had a duck blind three of them okay it had sleeping quarters kitchen the whole nine of your field said hey it's so big they won't think it's a duck blind so we went from big as better okay then we got down to okay putting like two fours and just one

board to sit on right okay the smallest you can have, you can see through it. No, no, that's a lie. He always put two boards to sit on. He put one to stand on. That way, a size 13 had just as much hanging off each end. And if you wasn't careful, you went out to front of it. Yeah.

Did that. That's when y'all went through that phase where y'all thought you all were invisible. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's when we went through the phase of we need 180 of them, even though we can only hunt 60 days. Yeah. Oh, no.

He said. Everywhere we seen a duck light, we put a, one of them two befores. Oh, I know. That pipeline is 12, that pipeline is 1,200 yards and we got 800 yards of 2 to 12. Yeah, in a straight line.

In a straight line everywhere. It's a sheer madness. It's lunacy, what it is. That's the way that dog used to be. You could shoot from blind to blind. You'd have to get the blind in between you if you didn't want to get peppered by the other people. Oh, there's 72 duck blinds.

On his property. On that property. 60 days. The math don't work. You don't know how many duck lines we hunted last year? More? About seven probably. Eight.

Yeah. Eight. Yeah. You go to the same spots. You go to the M. You go to Cypress Lake. You go to the lake. You go to the lane.

You go to the pipeline. You go to the privy hole. That's right. And then every now and then you'll walk off in the bushes. That's right. Just standing in the water. We don't do that no more. Well, no, they don't got old.

Everybody doesn't got long in the two. Yeah. Instead, Jason will just go paddle around for two hours and come back with some wild tell about a mythical creature. I jumped this 10 point and we got about five feet from him and my gun locked up on me. But then he failed.

He does have some stories. I guarantee you. I wonder where he gets it from. I wonder. Anyway, let's take another break. We'll be back. Oh, Burrow, he, uh, he comes to class again, to come to a jiu jitzy class again.

And, uh, I was, had been getting over there. I don't know. I told you, I had that VED. last week. The what? The Vid. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Don't say the whole thing. No, I'm over it now. It's been a while. It's been at least three days. Yeah. But anyways, Burrell come in there and said, oh, he says,

Oh, Stone, you ain't going to wrestle tonight? I said, no. I ain't going to wrestle you tonight. But I got this woman over there that would love to get around in with you. She's 140 pounds soaking wet. That's right. And that was the ultimate.

ultimate anger management she will up burrow oh no yeah i wouldn't say i wouldn't classify that and i went a when a woman that that is trained in jiu jitzy a good i'm talking about purple belt or higher and you know it when she gets you to the ground and you don't know anything you're done i don't care how big and strong you are but i'll give it to burrow he he wasn't going to take it easy on her. Most people are like, when you get in there with a woman, you don't use your man strength. You know, you try to work your technique. Burroughs like, no, this woman ain't going to whip me.

And he, I'm talking about bulldoged her, which is a big no-no. And then he got tired of going. Yeah. And then after he gassed out in about two and a half a minute mark, he just kept getting arm locked over and over and over. And he said, yep, this is real good for my anger, boys. real good for it i've always said i i'll fight 10 men but i'll tell you this one woman no oh you're right especially a woman that knows how to fight oh no that same woman

whoops me all the time too so i can't say nothing and she's a good-looking thing too okay oh boy she's easy on eyes boys not if you can't see well i understand right if you go an unconscious. Oh, man. That's what I need. I need to have her just stroll up down there about 12 o'clock. That old boy probably started hitting on her or something. And next thing, you know, I get to watch him get choked out.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it would happen. Hey, shit done. And then I get to come up there like Chris Tucker on Friday. Yeah. Shit done, turn him into a pretzel. You just got choked out. Yeah.

Turn him into a press. He's laying on the floor. I'll tie it up. Give him my teller. Give him my tail. Yeah. He's his arm and legs. Oh, man.

Now, Orlando was fun. You missed a good time. So it was, we ate a lot of sushi. Were you going to Orlando? No, he didn't go to ICAS. That's just where I had to be. I got to go. You should have been there.

You're the fishing person. I just watch it from home. Yeah, you just text me and say, what do I need? Yeah. That saves me money and I could still be at work and just watch all the news. What was you doing? A fishing event? Yeah, it was deal with working with Rappala.

They released their new line of soft plates. Oh, crush. City, Martin. Crush City, baby. Crush City. It's actually cool. It's cool to see energy back in the outdoors

because it's been pretty dead at those trade shows for a while. But they projected like 900,000 packs of those things to be sold. And at the show, they booked 1.6 million. Does that mean I'm not going to get my 500? No, you get it.

They ain't even started producing them yet. That's how fast they can turn them out. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Martin, if Martin's going to put his face on a bait, well, your face ain't on it. You just... Nobody's faces on it.

Nobody's face on it. But my good buddy, Jacob Wheeler's signature is. Yeah. But you stand behind it. Oh, yeah. They work. And so I've used to order them. Yeah.

There's the five different styles right now. So like three swim baits, a Ned bait. I guess they're six, yeah, because you've got a craw and a bug. So just your standard bass stuff. Oh, okay. But not your standard bass stuff, but pretty common shapes. It was fun, though. I saw old Gowdwin down.

there. Oh, Gawain? Gawain got a jersey. I love it. I don't understand fishing jerseys. Yeah, I don't either. I was going to get one made that said not everybody needs a jersey. It's kind of like NASCAR, I guess. Yeah, it really is. It's just a place to put your sponsor.

Well, I was just like, Gowen, do you really want to walk around here and more people know who you are? That's not the problem we have at this show. Like, our problem is giving from point A to point B on time. It's just, which is a really cool thing Because now it's gone from We Love Duck Dynasty to We Love Duck Call Room And it's like Oh man, look at there

One old boy just said he drove straight through here The other day with it He's a kayak fisherman I said well you need to holler at John David I think he did I was he was there on Saturday So I didn't get to meet him Yeah that's him probably

Yeah, had two of them And had live scope Everything else on his still I said you need to holler John David That was a fancy rig Yeah speaking up I need you to get your rig back to Willie's Pond.

Deal. And find those crappies for me. Okay. The crappies have gone AWOL. Well, they're probably over at Jaises. Missing their skin and their ribs. He's got 1,600 of them. Oh, never mind.

No, that's a lot. They've gone AWOL. You can't find them? I can't find them. Of course, I ain't hunted for them too hard, but they're not under the bridge where they normally are. Yeah. They're not under the bridge.

And they're brand new, so you know they're going to bite. Oh, they're out there on that brush top there. Well, I got about eight brush tops. Yeah. He's done up to game here, boys. So get your crappie rig and locate the crappies. And call him. So I can tell the boss man where the crappies are.

Or we just keep it between us. No, I ain't. No, he can't do that. He ain't do that. And just dropped some off. Hey, man, I called a few. I figured you'd want some. Here you go.

Drop them off for it. You're not under the bridge. That's weird. I mean, I'm sure there are a few there. Yeah. I fished it pretty hard and I did not get a bite. Well, I got one bite. didn't catch it.

I probably won't be able to until Sunday. That's fine. But yeah, no. Well, I'll come over and I'll help. You ain't getting to kayak with Johnny D. We'll film it. That would actually be hysterical. I'm in.

Although I'm a little nervous about him in the front and me in the back. Oh, he pretty sure. I'm a good first of a hook to the forehead. When are we going to do this? I don't know. Soon. Sounds like a date. I'm in.

You live. Call me and tell him when you want me. I can have it there in two seconds. I can cut across Willie's little golf green. I can really be there for. I try and go around so I don't tear up the yoke. Good call. Good call.

Yeah, don't tear the enough. I don't like tearing up. I'd hate for the grounds manager to get on you. I'd hate to see him choke you out. Willie, Willie, woo. He's done it before. Oh, that's funny. Oh, yeah, I'm interested.

Oh, man. Have you caught any big, big bram yet or not? Oh, yeah, there's a few in there. Yeah, a few in there. But the big copper nose, they ain't will be ready to, spring. Okay. Next spring is going to be.

But they eating three times a day. Three times a day, boy. I got five feeders going off three times a day. That's a turtle situation. Man, they just keep coming. I'm fixing to, uh, somebody told me there was a turtle farm pretty close that would buy those red ears. A pair in Collison.

How much do you think they buy them for? Not you ain't going to cover your gas to get there, but at least they won't come back. Yeah, I don't prepare by Wham break. I could take, you take, you take, you take, They give me like, what, $10 a piece? Probably more like two. Two? Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. But at least you ain't got worried about them walking back. They buy turtles? Yeah, they're the ones that butcher the turtles for the meat and sell it like all them South Louisiana places for turtle soup. Turtle soup. I've never been into turtle soup. Sauce pecan. Tertile sauce bacon.

Never been into that either. I just ain't been in hunger yet. I mean, I understand he's made out of meat. But, you know, no. They got to be fishy. I ain't there yet. I just... Willie likes turtle soup.

And here, cue all the people in the comments. I thought y'all's real rednecks. Y'all ain't eating turtles. No, sir, we're not. I'm like, I eat frogs. I'll do you one better. I ain't really into frog legs. Well, no, that's like alligator.

I just... Yeah. I can't... It's too tough. It's too tough and... Chewy chicken. It's got a... Just a taste.

I don't care for it. Chewy, salty chicken. Yeah. Chewy salty, fishy. It ain't good. Chicken. I just, you know, you got to acquire, that's like wine. Now, if you want one to make you a pair of a pair of or something, I get that.

Boots are cool. They make pretty boots. They make pretty boots. Oh, no, now, they do to make pretty boots. And if you want to grind the food up and feed it to dogs and cats, I mean, that's fine. Yeah. And he just ain't that good. Well, that's a, because, hey, gators eat dogs and cats.

So, hey, that's a good thing. That's fair. Yeah, it's payback time. That's what you put in your grandma's shit. What's that alligator? That's what you put in the shed. And then unlock it. See, now we're going home alone.

That's right. Well, but I need a female with a nest in there. That's the problem. See, you just get a male. He's going to be lazy over there and just hiss at him or something. Yeah, he hiss at him. Now, female will nest or get him. Now, she'd tear him up.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, he'd come out in a little pellet for him. Yeah, that's like that time she got done with him. I would not want to get in a fight with an alligator. I watched one on the internet the other day. It was a bad thing for everyone involved. Everyone involved. The people did not win the fight, but they did get out.

Yeah. But they're still telling that story. Look like that old boy on Happy Gilmore. Maybe. Old Chuck. What's you laughing over there for? Hunter, that's one of your shows. Hunter wasn't alive with him.

No, but he started me as Adam Sandler guy. I mean, with a sweatpants. He's a man. We ain't much different. Look, you can't defend yourself. I don't know what you're wearing, Hunter. He got a, he got a Chubbocka T-shirt on over there. Oh, Chewbock.

Unbelievable. No, that would be, man, what, yeah, there ain't nothing aggressive enough for me. A bear. Yeah, see, but he'd be in there making racket. It needs to be a complete surprise. Like, you need a big cat.

Problem of a big cat scare me to death. A black panther. They don't exist in this area. Well, they'll walk. It showed a big tiger actually on a beat somewhere. And I see, like if I had. And he was dragging a big gator. Yeah.

He had killed him. Access to like a leopard. Yeah. I've got a tiger. That'd be tight. I mean, tiger's fine, too. All Joe Exotica up, get us a tiger, put it in that shed when he opens that door. His life will never be the same thing.

And don't feed him for like three days. Yeah. Oh, man. Is that dude still in jail? Is he in jail? You know, that is a trip down memory lane that I'm actually very curious to go down. Where is Joe Exotic now? Oh, man.

And Carol Baskin. I'm more curious about the ads that are going to pop up from here on out. Joe Exotic, boys. He's in jail in Texas, huh? Carol Baskin? Oh, he's back, isn't he? Yeah, our Canadian producer, Beth says, Carol, they found him.

She didn't feed him to the tigers. He wasn't chopped up in a meat grinder and spread all over the farm like Joe said. No. You mean Joe wasn't right? Joe, Joe seems like he made up a lot of stuff. He ran for president. Oh, he's running for president. Again?

Yeah, March 13th, this year. Oh, yeah. Isn't he in jail? How do you run for president from jail? Well, it's time for us to all endorse our candidate for these upcoming elections. I'm with Joe Exot. No, I'm not. You know what, though?

Out of the two options at Joe, he's probably better. He at least ran a business. of the two Joe's. Hey. Of the two Joe's, I would give him a shot. Because the one that we have now. That's right. Hey, that part was making money.

You know, he was undercutting some things and feeding people dirty hot dogs. Yeah. Them tigers were eating dirty hot dogs. Dirty hot dogs. Yeah, that's how Joe Exotic fed all them cats. He went to, like, the grocery store and got all the expired hot dogs for free out of the trash can. We fed them to the tigers. Hey.

Hey, just say you. so well joe exotic was gonna go as a libertarian but now he's going as a democrat so he don't even know what he's into that's a confused man I can't figure out if he's still in jail or not Joe and Joe unbelievable I got that t-shirt of Mike the tiger with Joe Exotic's hair I need to wear that again that thing was sweet

2020 was an interesting time I've got 2020 boy in a year Where we go. Oh, yeah. He's scheduled for release on December 27th, 2035. Whoa. So on episode 2000, episode 2,500, I formally request Joe Exotic be on the duck call room. Although, he's pretty old.

So, nah. Yeah, it'd be a lot. Unbelievable. I got a gut feeling this podcast ain't going to be around in 2033. I don't know. I asked Cy earlier how many years he had left in him. He said he had 20. Hey, I got 20, boy.

Let's not kid ourselves. 95-year-old. As long as that man's in that chair, this thing probably keep rolling. You got a shot. And if not, we're going to have to weekend at Bernie's it or something. That's right. You know, tie some strings over to his arm. Hey, Jack.

Oh, boy, you know a good taxidermis. How about that? Taxidermers, baby. No. And the one that I do. Speaking of bad taxidermis. Oh, do we have any more of that bad taxidermy? Well, lately all the emails basically consist of Martin's Little Debbie Park that he apparently passed by all the time.

And had no idea. No idea of a little Debbie Park. Yeah, it's a playground made a little Debbie cake. But I'm going back to Chattanooga in the end of September. You don't think I'm not going to take a picture with a Christmas tree cake. You got the wrong fella. I got big news for you coming up in the email section. Oh, boy.

I got very big news coming up. Disturbing, good, bad. Great news. Very specifically for you for when you go to Chattanooga. Oh, chat. Yeah. I want this life-changing news. Life-chat.

Well, you're going to be sad and you're going to be glad all at the same time. All right. So Casey emails in and Matt. Two people have emailed in. They're from Chickamauga, Georgia. Yeah. What Matt is. I don't know where Casey was from.

The dogs. Do you know why they put that. Little Debbie Park right there. Aren't they based out of Chattanooga? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I knew that. You've been passing by the Little Debbie plant.

Yeah. This whole time. Yeah, but that's kind of like... And there's a store in the front of it. And I say, I didn't know that. Where they sell discounted fresh from the bakery, Little Debbie's. Oh. And you didn't even know it.

And you didn't know it. You've been just cruising past it, man. Now, see, I didn't want to go to the first. factory because I figured there's some of them things that are better left of mystery. Like, I didn't need to go see the 500 gallon tanker of sugar getting dumped in there. But the fact that they have a small store where I can buy Little Debbie's and most likely paraphernalia of Little Debbie. I'm very interested in.

So, okay. I knew they were based out of there. And I knew that's why the park went there. But, like, there's a store right there by the park. Brown versus Red. hot dogs. Uh-oh. What's the difference?

Oh, the red ones are way better. Red ones are way better. The ones that pop. All right. Davis from Mount Olive. Yeah. The ones that pop. Wilson's weanies.

Yeah. Wilson weanis. He says bright red hot dogs are miles ahead of brown hot dogs. Oh, they are. Okay. There you go. There you go. I was, I was, I, Cy,

I was reading the emails today. There's your proof right there. Si says it. I low-key like hot dogs, but, you know. You don't like hot dogs? No, I do. That's what I'm saying. Who doesn't like hot dogs?

These people that are on a platform of sort of like, oh, I ain't eating that. Like, whatever. I used to leave in a sausage. Well, that, I draw a line at a certain point of weird texture. It's a texture thing for you, huh? What are those? At weird discount sausage, there's.

I guess that's what we can call a conglomeration of meat. Yeah. Oh, I don't want to open it up while I've got ribby in my refrigerator and eat it. If I'm in a duck blind and I'm a hunter. Or on a tractor? Yeah. Or in your boat. Yeah.

I got weight to lose. I'll starve. And don't make pigs in the blanket and bring them to house church. Vying a sausage. Who did that? Oh. I probably don't. I want them.

Vianna softies, boy. That's an old one there, so. You remember that? I've told that story many times. That's my specialty. By and it's in a blanket. Yeah. Oh, boy.

Oh, Vianna belonged in a can. That's right. He don't belong nowhere. Oh, that's right. I mean, because Crescent rolls are good, man. Yeah, and you don't want to pollute them with that. At least use, at least use like a hillshower little smoky or something. Oh.

You know, I've put... My kids love little smokies in a blanket. My favorite is putting that Kineka in there, that little thin sausage. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's a good one for... That's a greasy sauce. Oh, and that crescent roll soak it up. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Why are crescent rolls so good? Well, because they've got to be terrible for us at some level. My grandmother makes homemade crescent rolls. Okay, I'm interested in that. They're so good. Homemade crescent row. Yeah, that's the one thing the French got right is the crescent slash croissant.

all that stuff. The French folks got that one. They nailed him. We went down memory lane last night at my parents' house. We were all over there eating. My sister made a butter cake. It was a pretty simple thing. My mom used to always make.

My dad, this is going to blow your mind because it sounds so good. My dad said his mom would make a chocolate cake. Just a standard rigged chocolate cake in a pan, but they didn't have icing. So she'd just cut it in half and put butter in the middle of it like it was a roll. and I'm supremely interested in what that tastes like. And how old is she? She's, uh, oh, she's probably 90 now? No, 89, I think.

And running from the law? I love it. Yeah. Doing from the cops, boys. That's how I've decided to live my life. Everybody talks about how much Popeye's, my granddaddy used to eat. He made it to 85. When?

W. Yeah, that's a W there. Thank you. All that preservatives, they're just preserving you. Thank you. I've been saying for years. Unbelievable. I might draw the line at gummy worms, but I've been eating.

I had a pack of them. This is terrible for me. But they're so good. I'm sorry. I digress. I'm just, I'm going to lose weight, people. Who may be in a sausage and a crescent roll, can we say? No.

Okay. But we both know. Let's do it, Martine. All right, we're back. Hello. H-E-L-L-O at duck callroom. dot com. That's the inbox that Johnny D's reading from. So look, I get

messages on Instagram all the time saying, can't figure out the email. Hello. At duck call room. At dot callroom.com. Not that I'll still read the Instagram messages, but like, it's a lot easier here. We've gotten over 16,000 emails in the lifetime of this show.

Whoa. I've only deleted like seven. Some of them been all from the same guy. Some of them been romance. Some of them have been food. Some of them get heavy. quick. I don't know what you do about town. But what's in there today? All right, Wyatt, Wyatt emails in he that lives in Gina, Louisiana. And White, we are from West Monroe, and we are educated on where Gina is, but he gives a full dissertation on how to find Gina on a map. But we got it,

man. Yeah. The metropolis of Gina is well known around here. Go to Cattahoole Lake and get to looking. And he's far. But so, so he's a young man from Louisiana. We've all been there. And he's about to graduate high school and needs to know just an opinion from us. ULM? I mean, me and Martin say yeah, or Louisiana State University of Alexandria, which I got to be honest, didn't know was a thing. Oh, LSUA, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know what he wants to do. That's a good point. Yeah, I mean, what do you want to do? You're like, what? Both are a step up from Gina, so. Hey, the metropolis of Gina is awesome.

I mean, I'm just saying. Both have Chick-fil-A's. I mean, I really, whatever you're going to figure out which one, what you're going to major in and what school has a better program and go there. You're not, all right, let's just be honest. You don't know what you're going to major in at that age. No, but there may be something that you're interested in. Yeah, odds are you're going to get there and be like, that ain't for me,

but, like, figure out which one of those, like, I'd change. I mean, I went to ULM not for. for any other reason than they offered me the most money. So I compared scholarship offers. I compared everything, and when it got down between Lotech and ULM, I was making significantly more money and not spending it in gas at ULM.

So I said, let's go Warhawks. Mine was strictly a business to see. It was new. We were newly the war. We were new Warhawks, yeah. I was a Warhawk. Did you know that Stan Humphreys used to be the quarterback at ULM? Watch this.

Did you know my eighth grade basketball coach was Stan Humphreys? I thought he was the girl's coach. He is now. He dominates. My eighth grade basketball coach was a Super Bowl quarterback. There you go. There you go. It was awesome.

That's big time. He was a good coach. And now he just dominates. And now he's a girls basketball coach and just dominates. He's a good coach. He's smart. And one time, you want to hear a funny story, my buddy was telling him he didn't have it anymore.

And he said, Oh, I catch this football. My buddy was a receiver. He ended up, like, going to Tennessee to play receiver. Now, we're in junior high at this point. Stan caught him right here. With the football, he tried to catch it through the hands. Brett Farve, went down.

It was hilarious. So don't ever, if you ever run across a man that's played in the Super Bowl, he probably can still throw a football pretty hard. He probably still spinning it. That was the lesson we learned that day. So did we help him with ULM or LSUA? I have no idea. Both got dairy queens now.

Yeah. I think Alexander still. got BJ's pizza though so that's kind of tight all right well let's just head up to glen burn main do you know anybody from Maine Maine no but it sounds cold I've spoken Maine before you I've never been to Maine trout well ashton works at a golf course in Maine I don't know how that well trout what is that three months a year yeah trout fishing is there trout fishing in Maine oh yeah I figured he was looking at a picture you've been to Maine yes sir I have yeah I stationed at Massachusetts and I went up to mine to trout fish oh I eat lobsters right

there off the boat. I thought that's cool. You know, everything is Maine. Lopster. I've ordered lobsters from Maine. Okay. Oh, and had them overnight. I have them overnight. That's the only thing I've ever done Maine. Anyway, it seems like a cool place. It is. Yeah, not a lot of people up there, and they got moose.

Yeah, moose. Moose are the coolest. And trout. Moose are up there on my animal list. Yeah. That's where we landed when we flew back from Afghanistan. Maine? In Maine. Huh. And there was a line of people that,

that lived in, I think, Bagger Main is where we landed. There was a lot of people just waiting and shake everybody's hands when they got off the plane. Just people that live there that appreciate. That's really good.

That's really cool. I was like, I will say that seems out of the way, though. Yeah. Coming from Afghanistan? Well, actually, that was from Germany. Oh, okay. That's a little more.

I got, yeah, because they just basically go north of pole and come up straight down. This is going to become a geography lesson just like Gina was. Yeah. Anyway, Ashton. Fly over the top of this,

that place. Go ahead. Anyway. Oh, birds aren't real. Okay. Ashton from Glenburn, Maine, said he needs some help with a girl. He's 17. Is he 17? He sent me a message on Instagram. Did he? Yeah. Okay. And they've been on and all.

Yeah, you know the story. This man desperately needs help. Yeah. Look, here's the deal. On again, off again. He doesn't know what to do because last time he said, no. We're off again for good. Now, he kind of regrets that.

What should I do? Side note, mom and sister not really into her. Yeah. I remember reading it thinking, man, that poor girl ain't your security blanket, big dog. Either you're in or you're out. Either you in? And figure it out. Her emotions ain't worth playing with.

So she's a human too. So either you really like her and you want to do something or you don't, but don't be like, oh man, somebody else may like her, so now I like her again. That ain't fair to her. Ain't fair to her. ain't fair to you make up your mind choose one move on be a man you 17 it's time figure it out make a choice and live with it whichever way you go man i'm just saying mark spitting truth and well i mean that on again off again we all went school of people that was like that that's right

mm-hmm like can't make up with mine knowing good and well when they got out there in the free world after high school it wasn't going to be so just let it be right be convicted yeah make a choice Make a choice. Make a choice. What's up with people that can't make choices? Make a choice and then body slammer. It's the biggest argument in my house is every other night. What do you want to eat?

Nobody make a choice. Yeah, make a choice. I make choices. And then when I end, well... And then she don't like them. If she asked me what I want to eat, I immediately say Captain D's. And then she all of a sudden cares. I thought she said you didn't care.

That's why I want to go to Captain D's. It's low-key. Captain D's legit. Why is it like that? Look, I nerded it down to two places the other day. day and I said you got two choices you pick where you want to go I said you got two places you pick couldn't do it what were where you want to go you what were the two places Alex Latin and El Paso both delicious both solid both solid yeah not a problem with either I'd go to either

yeah see but I just don't like saying depending on how hungry she refused to make a choice but if your wife you wouldn't make a corn sourdough pizza why y'all eat anywhere else other home because you posted that picture on Instagram the other night. That woman can make a pizza. That. You know what we did? She made three of them and then the next day she put one in the fridge and we cooked it again. Heated it back up.

It was a little crunchier the next day. Had a little post-church lunch pizza. Unbelievable. Oh, speaking about it, have you all ate at the new place at the light, return and go by the meal? Maxxon joint? Well, I got a rule. I don't eat nowhere in Bacombie. well I'm just saying that it's a new deal so I don't you know I figured I figured I

don't know since you like Mexican food no I love me yeah it might be good who knows I ain't seen it yeah I don't I don't travel that way often but if it's by the meal second light second light and take her right and it's down there on the left have a third second light take her right down there on the left okay well if you see a guy down there pedaling a bicycle with a bandana over his face run him in a ditch oh boy I Hey, bicycles are becoming very, uh, point. Where are we? I don't know, but we're like an hour and a half of this.

Yeah. Hunter, you choose. Bicycles are coming to what. Who knows what y'all just heard, but I'm going to tell you this. Isaiah 264, trust in the Lord forever for the Lord. The Lord himself is the rock eternal. That's just a good one. Amen.

And hey, we'll leave you with that.