Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Is FED UP with the Junk They Make These Days

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

Si and the boys have HAD IT with the short lifespans of half the things they buy. Martin shares Jesus with a bot and gears up for opening day of wife season. Si has a wild solution for getting rid of moles on your property. John-David is a sucker for "Shark Tank" products and homemade Bengals hats. Si finally discovers what happened to his beloved dragon jacket. A fan rags on Godwin's goatee, and Si reveals the one kind of facial hair he can't stand. And the boys get deep with a question about whether babies go to heaven when they die. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, we've come in with a plan today. Of what? That's not true. This is how we do it. What's the plan? We never have a plan. I think some people think this show's scripted at least a little.

No. And I'm here to tell you, we just get here. We talk for about 10 minutes, and then we start. Yeah. If y'all can't tell. When is the Super Bowl? Sunday? February the 13th.

February 13th. They don't start at hockey. Okay. No, we ain't worried about hockey. Right now we work until Super Bowl. All right, here's the question for today. Who's going to win the Super Bowl? All right, Bengals fans.

Joey Burrow. I'm with you. Who's Joey Burrow play for? The Bengals. Okay. We've already had the who that versus who day discussion. I like that hat. And I'm here to get...

Way pronounced he threw me at all. Okay. Big Joe. Big Joe. I've reconfigured my Saints hat and put a... a picture of Joe Barrow over the Florida Lee and an EY over the AT. Who day? I've got the reason why the Bengals are going to win.

Why? Because, hey, when a bingo tiger goes up against a ram goat, he's going down. There's only one winner. You've seen them tigers jacked them arms off him soldier. That is true. The bangles was pretty rough on them Native Americans. Golly. For a half.

Kansas City. Yeah, for a half. I didn't see that game. I was ducking. That first half, they wasn't there. That second half, they said, oh, yeah, we're still here? Oh, football was magical this weekend. Yeah, except for the Niners.

Oh, my wife was fired up because I drove up, way past dark after Ducking. She said, you missed it? And I said, where are you talking about? She said, guess who won? And I said, well, well, who was playing? Because I didn't know which one was playing first. And she said, all good grief, she said, the Bengals won it. And I said, really?

I said, they actually beat Kansas City Chiefs. Oh, yeah. I said. That was fun to watch. That was amazing in itself. I felt like I was watching an LSU game, which is what made me feel good about it. That was the most excited I've ever been over an NFL game that wasn't the same. Well, we was talking about all my fellow poker players,

was talking to the night of the poker game. And I said, well, here's the bottom line. If the Bengals will show up and play, they will win. Every time. That's all they got to do. All they got to do. They just got to show up. And evidently, evidently, they showed up and played well.

In the second half. In the second. Joe Perot went into halftime and said, watch this, boys. He said, give me my cigar. Give me the ball. Let's figure this out. That dude's cocky and I love him. Yeah, he's not in the half.

obnoxious cocking, which is what I can't appreciate. It's a weird kind of funny cock. But I would say the same thing for Tyree Kiel. Like, he cracks me up when he throws the peace sign at somebody he's out running towards the insult. There's just never been a man faster. It makes me laugh every time. I'm like, that's funny. I'm sure if you're chasing him, that's not very funny.

But you got it. When you got it, you got it. Yeah, that's exactly right. And, hey, boys got it. Okay. No, I hope the Bengals win. Amen. Manly, nobody likes the Rams.

And I doubt he listens to it, Mr. Whitworth. You bailed on your team to go win a championship. Something about me wants your former team to beat you in the championship. And I played football with it. We're on the same team. We was teammates on the same squad. The left tackle the Rams went to West Monroe. Yeah.

Was he a senior? He was a senior when I was a sophomore. When you were a sophomore. The only thing we really ever converged on was extra points and field goals. He's on the field at the same time, otherwise. And he's a Hall of Famer probably. Absolutely. Better be.

40 years old. Playing left tackle. Holding it down. He's in his second Super Bowl, his first legitimate one. I'm still bitter. And that's another reason I'll be cheering hard for the Bengals. But if you look at it on paper, though, the Rams should win. Well, Matt Stafford finally, you know, he deserves to be there because he got stuck in Detroit.

But either way you look at it, a bunch of LSU boys. they're about to get a ring. No matter what side you look at. That's true. So it's like, go tigers. Yeah, go tigers. Except now our coach at LSU is from Massachusetts and he tries to act like he's from here.

Yeah, I was wanting to see if the saints may want to get him. No, we're good. Hey, let's talk about the great outdoors. We're not going down the Champaign Road right now. I might start crying. Cy, how was he last duck on a 2022? Well, we went and when we pulled up in our, to where we was going to hunt.

The decoys are already out. It's about 2.15. Yeah. And when we're pulling up, 100 ducks get up out of the decoys and the surrounding brush. Well, that makes you feel good.

And leave. Well, yeah. He gave you a good deal. I told, okay, there are a few here. Yeah, but don't know came back. We killed two miles of drinks and one woody. There you go. And that's it.

Well, you still got veterans hunt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't see, but stone, I have to re-scout and see where we're going to end up hunting. Well, there ought to be plenty of, there ought to be some new ones. Oh, there'll be a daylight to about 11 o'clock. We'll go eat dinner and then we'll go back out. So that's going to be two hunts.

Yeah, finish up if you ain't got them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my last one was this morning, and I had just a grand time shooting green winged teal. First time all year. I got me six green winged teal. That's the first time. January 31st.

First morning I have shot a limit of green wingers. I think we'd feel four or five green wings hill nothing about it. Green wings are good eating, boy. Oh, buddy, they already soaking in a little bit of salt water. They're going on a spit tonight. Brager. Did they come in, like a group of them come in? There was about a hundred of them sitting there when I got there in the dark,

and I went in and busted them all up, and then they got to flying around in threes and fours, which is when they get real dumb. Yeah, they come in to decoys. They come in. I didn't even have no decoys. I just kick a little water. That's the point we're at this year.

I went with the full aspiration of guerrilla warfare against them because they've been so that gung slick. I was going thicket busting, you know. It is. They had. And then they got there, so I said, I better get out there on the edge of that open water just a little bit. And I got out there on the edge,

and I'd see them, I'd call, I'd kick the water, they'd turn, laying right in front of me, and yes, I ground-swatted them. Absolutely I did. Amen. Not a pellet in the breast. Not only did he groundswaters, he waited till they lit, and if they

were swimming, he waited till they stopped swimming. And then, I did. I tried to pick drakes. I was trying to get enough color, enough daylight, where I could see the drakes from the hen. I was trying to shoot the boys only and send the girls back home. They're just easier to shoot when they're sitting still. That's exactly right.

That's right. You may not miss. And I can guarantee you this, they taste exactly the same. Whether they were sitting there or fly. But that's it. Duck season's over, so you know what tomorrow are you? Opening day of wife season. Opening day of wife season.

Yeah. She's back in the game. The winter month is over. She's back in the game, boys. Back in the game. This is whenever you find out, you take you about two weeks to determine just how big at duck season diamond is supposed to be. And what all is broken at the house that you ain't picked.

I ain't worried about that. She could call a plumber. call somebody to fix it I'm not what you'd call an odd jobs guy I'm not either I got to fight with the washing machine I think so my wife could never come up with hey do this list

she couldn't no honey-do list for you ain't no honey-do list for this kid you're more of a cantaloupe guy hey look you better save you money and just pay somebody that knows what they're doing to begin with because if I try to fix anything you can double what it's going to call I can see that.

Hold up. I'm serious. By the time you got to pay somebody to fix it right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Then you got to call somebody and fix it. It wasn't but one thing wrong when I started. Yeah. Now there's 10 things wrong. Oh, yeah.

He got aggravated because something wouldn't work and he tore the other one that's what happened. That's a decent way to live. No, no, I never have been a fixed-it-up guy. You know, you've got to have a knack for that. I wish I was. And I don't. And I know it, and I'm smart enough to know it to me, okay, no, I'm not going to touch it.

Call someone that does this for a living. Yeah, there's a few things I can dabble in, but I'm not an electrician. I'm certain of that. I don't figure that. Didn't take but 110 volts to show me that. I can't see it and it can bite me? No.

Okay. So, no, I don't fool with that either. I'm a shade tree plumber as long as it ain't nothing too bad. No, I don't. I mean, if it's cut it off, put a coupling in another joint, I got you. Yeah. But outside of that, I mean, there you go, parks changing. I replaced a water heater last year.

I paid $500 last week to fix that. So I don't know what side's talking about. Oh, no, they're proud of all this stuff nowadays. You can't get nothing. And look, and what's bad about it is junk. Yeah, that's what they said. All junk. Because, hey, it'll break down in the near future after you replace it.

They said you bought this in 2020. Yeah, they're all going bad. I was like, what? We're this podcast about to get political. No, well, hey, before it. Why can't we get stuff and why is it all junk? Well, before it does, let's take a break. We'll be right back.

We'll be back. We'll be back and discuss junk. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know, we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedale's beef makes such a good product, baby.

Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson, would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from.

But with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch. And other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat, either, folks. Yeah.

Just go to Tribalienable. beef.com slash that's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. sigh why is everything made today junk what's your opinion on you? I'm just curious okay I'm just we're running we're running out of okay a skilled workforce skill workforce I would agree with that that's that's worth that that ain't nothing political either that's just that's just the fact people for whatever reason have gotten it in their head that that job is beneath them that's right but nobody's sweeping the floor no they've even gone worse than that start at the top no no they've gone worse than that okay it's it's work is beneath them what do you give them to them say and say all the things I want to say okay

and I'm I ain't gonna say no more because the government is giving it to them oh well hey well you can make more money sitting at home than you can't an entry-level job for the past couple years yeah but But what, I mean, yes, agreed. But man, don't it feel good to get that, like, something you earned? Like, whatever happened to that, like, hey. I remember my grandparents didn't, they pay me nickels on the dollar for raking leaves and stuff like that. But when I would, when I'd take that $5 bill from a 10-hour day and go buy me a new fishing bait

or buy me something with it, boy, I felt like a, I felt like a stud now. I was like, yeah, yeah, you ain't ever going to see it. There's the thing that the lawbreakers don't understand. That's why if you try to rob me, I will kill you. Okay, because I worked hard to earn what I've got. And you intend on keeping it. And I intend on keeping it. So, hey, if you come to my house try to rob me, I'm fixed to kill you,

and you're going to have dirt in your face. But what's funny about that is the same man saying that will give you anything he's got if it'll help you. That's what's hilarious. Yeah. Well, no, no, I've got a generous heart. Oh, absolutely. If somebody needs it, okay, that's in a bind. You can have it.

You can have it. Absolutely. And never expect nothing in return. You don't have to repay me. Yeah. Okay. It's just kindness. This is, hey, that's the thing about most people when they talk religion, don't understand.

God has gave you a gift. All you have to do is accept it and then try your best to live right for crying out loud. Yeah, speaking of that, I got one of them boys last night on an Instagram post. I posted, you know, one of them spam things. I'm canceling debt for the first 10 people. Yeah. You know, that reply to this. Did you win?

No, I replied to him. I said, Jesus's been doing that for years, son. You may want to check him out. Did he respond back? No, of course he didn't, because it's just a bot. But, you know, it's like. Yeah, that's exactly right. Well, now I know today's Bible verse.

Well, here's what I can tell you. We all coming out of a pretty lackluster ducks. season and we got a little extra fire in us right now. Wow! Like, it's just... We're a little disappointed in what we did this year. Okay, and that's talking mildy. So we've had lots of hours.

Hey, don't mess with us right now. Don't get that. Don't kick that nest right now. It's not a good place to be. We ain't had to sleep. Of course I have. You don't want to mess with these Bambo B. Bombo B.

They will doop you. No pop We're in a foul mood here in the tub I've been a great mood I actually am in a pretty good mood Not really I am too because hey The duck season was Was terrible

Okay But Is what it is See I've got I've got other things that I do Beside Duck Hunt He watches Andy Grip Hey no no

Nature Channel PBS I go deer hunting Okay Deer hunting was fabulous this year Yeah it was good That's true because I killed me a big old pretty eight point,

and then I sit all season watching other eight points. Martin, you wake it up? Man, I'm tired. I ain't even kidding, man. I got tears. You're yawning big over there, now you got me tired. Ooh, I'm tired. Catching flies, catch and flies.

You don't realize, okay, look, if you do anything, okay, like fishing, there's a lot of work involved in fishing. Oh, I've been fishing. Mm-hmm. Okay. Because, hey, somebody's got to drive to the lake, and somebody's got to back the boat in, unload it, you know, put it in the water, get everything ready,

then know where to go to catch them, and then if you catch them, somebody's got to clean them. So, yeah, all this stuff that we enjoy. You notice he said, somebody got. Hey, somebody's back in the boat up. Some serious work for it to be fun. Hey, look, he's going to. Well, no, he's to the stage a lot.

He used to do all of them. I've done it for 50 years. We all get to them different stages. I'm ready to become the foreman. I ain't there yet, though. I knew that when I was picking up decoys this morning and empty shotgun holes. So, you know, and pulling boards. I was like, man.

Oh, you're pulling the plug on it already. Oh, look, this bus is up there right now. I don't want them coming back there. You know, they're talking about him printing and all that. I don't ever want to see them again. They go on. I don't care if I ever see them 300 miles or just living there again. No.

Matter of fact, they can take off right now and fly into a brick wall and I'd be happy. Get that gene out of the gene pole. See? I'm over there. That ain't going to happen. I'm telling you, okay,

the ducks are getting smarter. Or I'm getting dumber, one of the two. No, no, it ain't that. It ain't that. It's the ducks are getting smarter. Because I guarantee you, you know, when you see duck hunters and that's what we do for a living

and make duck calls for a living, and we ain't blowing the duck calls much, oh, they're getting smart. Yeah. Well, I'll say this, and I'm going to leave duck season on this, because I know our duck call room fans ain't much old listening about hunting story. But I saw, personally, I saw two bands killed this year, which the bands tell the story a lot of times,

as long as people call them in. I know about five or six more. And the youngest one out of all of those was five years old. Right. Them ducks is old. You want to know what you can't kill? an old duck. Where's all the young ones?

They didn't have none. Oh. It was dry. See, like he's talking about it, because we've killed something that's like, you know, when you see one that the band on his leg has mightnere wore off for he to fall off. Yeah.

This is aluminum. Yeah. I killed a 15-year-old pentail drake. I killed a 15-year-old pentail drake. I figure he finally just got deaf and blind. Oh, no. The one I was talking about was 12. Yeah.

I killed a 15-year-old. We called it in. He was 12 years old. He's done made 12 trips, trips from Canada to Louisiana. And back. And back. Yeah. I'd get tired of that.

11 back. Okay. Yeah. Flying back and forth. Back and forth. Yeah. It's like that time I played basketball. I got down there to one side and everybody come down there.

And then they took off to the other side. Yeah. About time you get that. By the time I got down there, they took off to it. I waited on them the next day. That's not. That's not something like that. They'll be back.

But can you say you was flying back and forth? I wouldn't fly in now. I love it. John said, hey, y'all hurry back and come on back. Guy would like me on the basketball court. You rest on offense. That's right. Let them boys that can dribble go down there and play offense.

You play defense down here on this end. Hey, I'll be here when you get here. Yeah, a fast break. A fast break was no fan of mine. I think that's just there for mall support. You're good, though. I mean, we couldn't get a sheet of newspaper under your feet, but you did good. Hey.

I don't know that Godwin ever had a time both his feet were off the ground at the same time. In his life or? I'm playing basketball. I say, I've seen the flying flea. Yeah, we're doing a little rebound drill. He'll fly on a motorcycle now. Oh, that's over a bull. He'll fly in a motorboat, too.

Oh, yeah. Flying flea. I go slow in those. Guy would like to go fast. I do. The rest of his life is slow. His driving? It's fast.

Don't let the boy get a motor. Yeah. You want to get somewhere? We're going to get there. We're going to get there and get there fast. Mm-hmm. When I go down the road and pass a cop, they say, they don't even bother trying to catch you.

I recognize him. That's the flying flea. By the time I get turned around, he'll be gone. It ain't no big deal. Oh, Lord, have mercy. Boy, that was a fun, fun, fun part of my life racing that motor crows. You going to go back? They got like a senior tour for motorcross like they do.

Well, they wanted me to. They're a couple of times they want me to come back. They missed the flying flea boys. Nah, I'm too heavy now. What do you think your nickname would be now? You was a flying flea. What would you go with right now? Oh, I don't know.

The walrus. A butterball bumblebee. A butterball bombobo bee. Triple B boys. A triple B. That's what I said. I'm fine the bumblebee. That's what I said I was going to name our new duck hole.

I was going to change the name from what it is to triple G. Gar, grinnedle goo, because that's about what it felt like. Triple G farms, boys, gar grinnedle goo. That's about what this duck season felt like. So anyway, let's take another break. We'll be back right over here. Look, we did find out Amanda. Thank you for size jacket.

Amanda. Amanda. My wife even loved that. and I found out what happened to the original jacket I had. Uh-oh, what happened? With the dragon on a big black, you know, black jacket with a big fire-breathing dragon on the back. She's sleep in it every night, don't she? No, no.

I wore it so much. Okay. Look, half the dragon was just threadbare. You know, it just rotted and finally didn't, half of him wasn't there. So you wore that jacket more than more? I wore that jacket until my wife just said, I'm tired of watching this idiot, put on that piece of raggedy. thread.

That sounds about like you in clothing. Oh, no, no. So she finally just rolled it up and threw it out. Okay. It's got it. It probably needs to be buried. It was dead. Trust me.

Kind of like them tennis shoes you had growing up. Oh, yeah. Melton ones? Oh, by the way, while we're thanking, Amanda, thanks for the jacket. I love it. My wife loves it. Hey, whoever sent this Supreme

Southern Supreme Fruitcake? A two pound fruit cake. I will eat that probably all. tonight. Hold on. I think somebody emailed me. Big old glass about the Southern Supreme. Is it from North Carolina?

North Carolina. We don't know. Judy. Judy. Judy. Judy. Judy, thank you very much. Can you tell me if you all received it?

Yes, ma'am, we did. Yes, we did. Hey, while we're on gifts, Eli from Charleston. Oh, it had it in here. It's a whole group, boys. The Scott family. I think that's who made it. Well, I know, but I'm talking about, hey, I'm thinking everybody.

Judy. Especially the people that made it, okay, and Judy. The lady that said it. Well, Eli, he wanted me to tell you, he sent me a letter. I never get letters, so he sent it to me. He said, Mr. Sy is one of the coolest people to ever walk the face of the earth, and please tell him I said that. Well, thank you.

And he sent me a Michael Jordan basketball card from, like, the year I was born. Wow. And Phil Jackson, which is okay. Which is a young little. It is the year I was born, 1989. I'm going to put this somewhere cool. I got a pencil. I found it on this table, but the ledge broke in it.

It don't work. Johnny Guy wasn't at his best, boys. We're on fire day. Okay, I love it. He said I got a pencil. Should we go ahead and discuss what all the fans want us to? Oh, yeah. You been out in the sun?

I've been fishing, son. Oh, okay. There ain't no ducks. You look like Santa Claus when he gets all laughing. Next week, we're going to have a sunscreen sponsor up in here. Hey, hey. Oh, I knew. My ear, the top of my ears.

Hey. Look. Hey, the top of his ears are red. He's been fishing. You got a hair, you missed there, too. Do you? Pull that hair out. No, I ain't going to pull it up.

That's a tender area. I ain't doing it. I missed out. You're growing hair? No, I missed. I cut my hair on top, on my front porch. I got some of horse clippers. I mean, I ain't got nothing nice.

Well, what does your back porch look like? Hey, well, the front porch, it's really my back porch. Oh. The way the house sits. Hey, just that, I remind me. I need to be a T-shirt. Kelly and Ryan live. Hold on.

That reminded signs of something. No, no, I'm serious about the hair. Oh. Watching Kelly and Ryan live this morning. Who? Okay, Kelly and Ryan. Ryan Seacrest and Kelly Ripper? Yeah.

But anyway, I'm watching that, okay. And they, they was talking. talking about a guy that's in a new series about it. He's a doctor. To a hair cutter? No, no. And he was doing something, he was, he was doing some landscaping at his house in California. Well, that's what I was doing.

And he had a mold problem, okay? What? Mole or mold? Holy moly. The little animal that dig onto the ground. Yeah, got you. So someone told him, he said, hey, look, if you put hair in their hole, it'll get rid up.

Look, he had a buddy of his that owned a barbershop, and he said, hey, look, see me a bunch of hair. So, hey, he pushed it down in the hole. Well, the next thing, okay, it was through back out. Okay. So that ain't no good. But there is a cure if you want to run them off. What is?

Wild urine. Okay, look, this is on TV. As opposed to tame urine? No, no, no. They brought that up. It has to be wild urine. them like coyotes, coons, rabbits, tame urine will not work. What about dopey?

That's wild. That's wild. What about yours? Is yours wild? Nope. That's one of the same said. They ain't ever smelled tears. No, no. Humans won't do it.

That ain't wild. All that lemon juice. That's crazy. Hold on. Let me tell you something. Look, it's got to be from a wild animal. Well, let me just tell you something right now. If your brother went and took a leak in that hole, they would have asked.

leave the area. They would evacuate so fast. It'd make your head spin. You make true, he may be right there. But look, that hit me so wild that we're talking about hair, and they were talking about this morning. You do use pain. I was talking about no hair.

You can't use tame urine. While urine. The vomit. I'm glad we got that clear it up because I've lost sleep over that. Well, see, hey, you would have bought the wrong tight. I would. You'd have bought tank. Well, let me tell you what to make you feel better, Gawman.

What's that? Our friends that made the Christmas tree cake ice cream. We hit on it for just a moment while you were gone, but we ran out of time. It was such a resounding response of positivity, John D. I love it. Hudsonville ice cream creates seven new flavors inspired by Little Debbie Trees. Put them up on our TV. Why don't they sell it down here in the south?

So here's the deal. I was going to read an email from it. Look at there. We literally got honey buns. Look at there. Nutty bars. Look at there. I like him nutty bar.

Nutty bars. Omeal cream pies. Yes, please. Old milk cream pie. All right. I want the honey bun, the nutty bar, and the oatmeal cream pie. What about the Swiss cake roll? Is anybody else?

You see that? Yeah. What about them Cosmic Browning? I got those two. Zebra cakes. Zebra cakes. Oh, that's going to be just like. the Christmas tree case.

I don't care. It's just not Christmas. But we got literally a hundred different people emailed me at hello at dotter room. Um, an article or guys or pictures. It says February 1st, which is tomorrow. Open day of wife season. Yeah.

But people are sending me pictures. Good. So it exists. Who's that fella in the bottom corner? that is a man doing an ad for light bulbs you know I can't control everything that shows up hey they need to make him light bulbs in the refrigerator

they don't never go out yes they do suckers always on when you open the door he's right he go out that's the most insightful thing I may have ever heard in my life but he got a pencil

he got a pencil no why don't they go out because they barely run. Yeah. John Godwin's. Unless you're at Johnny

Godwin's house. He's always open the door. Every time open the door the lights on the refrigerator.

That thing never burns out. I had a magical light bulb in my garage. That thing under my carport. It goes out

about every five days. Yeah. Well, you leave it on all night. Well, that's Miss Paula.

Well, hey, there you go. How's your answer? She won't see intruders to be able to

see the door handle. Yeah. Do you think it's the cold? Makes light bulbs last longer?

Now there you may have something there. Science. It never gets, the bulb never gets hot. It can't. That's the prison. You know what? Come to think of it, the one that really don't ever go out of one in your freezer. Well, that didn't do.

I mean, it's the same concept. Yeah. My freezer doesn't have a light bulb. It's the worst. What? Well, one of my freezer. It's a cheap one. That's the only one I ever heard of went out.

No, it never had one. He never had one. They didn't want to put that fancy space age. You didn't spend an extra $5. I didn't. It was a cheap one. He must have bought it there in 2020. When he walks.

You can't get free. I ordered it and it showed up two months later. That's the true. Welcome to 2022. Hey, do you know what the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet is? I got G. G. Anybody got a clue?

It's not R is it? Well, you'd think so, but it's the C. The C. Got me? I said, are we really going with R? A little, boy. He said, you'd think so, but it's really the C. It's really the C.

Perfect delivery. Where are you finding it? Do you study this for you, come here? I read a lot. Oh, he's Google. Hey, do you know? He probably Googles this stuff. Do you know what kind of insects are on the moon?

Insects on the moon. It has something to do with cheese, but I have no idea. Gee. Moonbugs? Lunar ticks. Oh, it ain't. That's for people that live out there by field. Yeah, he's one of them.

No, he's in the suburbs. the Luna. Look. I'm in the suburb of Bockinville. I can say that about Luna because all my mom's family lives in Luna.

Every last one of them, they all lunatic. Oh, I used to stay at the Lunatic Mall pretty regularly. Yeah, that was back BC before Christ. I got a lot of questions about the before Christ?

Uh-oh. No, they had a little old danks hall up there. Well, what was before Christ, you said? When he hung out at the dance hall? Yeah. When who hung up day saw. Got me.

Hey. Oh. Okay. We're going to give Sy a minute. Okay, boy. And now it's for something. Yeah, let's take a break and give Cy a minute to wrap his head around that one.

No, it, I ain't no wrapping around it. It went. Tombstone, you got to love that. That's a good movie. It is. Got a lot of one-liners in there. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Lord. How much. Hey, I'm coming. And hell's coming with me. That's what he told him, boys That's a good show now Yeah, it is My favorite line in that whole movie

Oh Heck Doc, I got lots of friends I don't Oh Doc looked at him I said I don't Yeah, I don't I feel that

I feel that Martin's got a small circle If you're ever trying to make it in And there ain't room for nobody else either It's full Circle's full boys Oh It's kind of like concentric circles, though.

I got different levels of circles. I got different circles. You know, different levels. They go out, expand and all that. But, you know, one of them, I mean, now that duck season's over, me and Clay, about to go about two months without talking to each other, we need a little time apart. Yeah, that's a good thing, though.

Yeah, we need a little time apart. Once you've been bonding all duck season, then you need a little time away. Too much togetherness. Yeah. That's what I like to call it. Yeah. You start to get on each other. I'll go out there then and stand on that bridge and chunk,

crappy magnet over in that water, though. It's about to get good. Oh, I used to do that. We putting water back in the reservoir. Oh, I used to do that when I was at tech, but it wasn't a white purse bag. You was a bridge troll? It was a broken tail rebel.

Broke-tailed. Golly. Everybody had one of them. I'd walk off at bridge park there, walk down there, walk down there below the bridge, throw it out there, and just twitch it a little bit. I think I was the only man that was dumb enough to buy that crawfish at swam backered made by Rebel.

You remember him? Yeah. Yeah. They hit that too. The lip was, the crawfish was backers, which, I mean, there's a way crawfish moved. Yeah. You know, when you're trying to get a reaction bite, they ain't really paying attention at which way the animal's headed.

Got him. But I show bought me one of them. Yeah. So did. You probably bought one of them Rolling Martin banjo bait. No, it's a helicopter lure. I bought about three of them.

And the first time I ever met Roland, I told him he owed me $150. You're lied. I told him. I told his son. I said, y'all ought to be a shame. You cook his rassels. Taking advantage of kids like that on an infomercial.

Because, buddy, they got me. I'll ever bought anything off of infomercial? No, don't get me. Johnny D. Where are you at, son? Look at you. What's your? I don't think I've ever bought anything off an infomercial.

I bet you got them two medicine bottles with them fruit things in there. Uh-oh. Fruits and veggies. No. I take athletic greens, sir. Um, the, uh, no. No, so I'm not allowed to watch Shark Tank anymore. Oh, you bought, you got on that bag?

Everything. Yeah. There's stuff in my house like, what's this from? Why do I have this? Shark Tank. Shark Tank. If you start watching CMB. BC at 11 o'clock at night, things are just going to happen, and I'm just going to buy stuff.

And it's like, why do you need this? I don't, but it makes sense whenever he told it to Mark Cuban. I like it. I know you're a man who will make a frivolous purchase. I mean, you did buy a space jam jersey. But two. Yeah. Not the LeBron James one.

No. That needs to be clear. But, yeah, I was watching Space Jam with my kids. I said, I need one of these. It was $23 on Amazon. It was like the real deal. It showed up nine months later after they made them. But in the first one I watched, it fell apart, so I went ahead and got another one.

Oh, I love a good frivolous purchase. Sa, you ever bought anything on those infomercial? No, I have to do with computers. No. No, you can dial in on them. No. Call 1-800-844-488. I ain't into phones much either.

You got a phone hanging on your wall? No, it's sitting back here behind me. Yeah. He's on that portable phone. Is it a touch button or rotary? Touch button. Mm-hmm. And, hey, I don't, I don't do anything with it.

I remember when them touch buttons first come out, I got on the ring. And I punch them button just to listen to it. I hit the council. Most time I hit the council. When it rings? Counsel. Yeah. Counsel.

What about you? You ever bought anything suspect off of infomercial? Never have. Because there was way too many. So you ain't, you ain't bought nothing that says a ass seen on TV? Nope. Oh, it's one of my favorite sections in Walgreens. Man.

There's just fancy things. No. I own three of the eight most successful projects. I ain't up to 12 or 1 o'clock. Man, they back got me the other night on some kind of little light, some kind of little motion, solar-charged light thing, I think. Oh, them are a rip-offs? Huh? Yeah.

A rip-offs. Ardy? Yeah. My wife bought some of that junk. I thought about putting them out there by my beer feeder so they get used to it. Oh, no, no, no. I can see them at night. My wife bought five of them.

She stuck them in the yard. Yeah, where we could be able to see. Yeah. One of them worked. Gar? Yeah, one of them worked. And it don't work well. Dang, man.

Yeah. I figure with that bell and howe name on it, they had to be. Like their tactical glasses. Tactical. Oh, I got to drive a panko. Look at it. Yeah, you can drive a semi-old. Oh, he forgot about it.

And it never king. Did you ever, you haven't bought a squatty potty? No. No, Jeff had that. Does Jeff have a squatty potty? Uh-huh, Jeff had that. A squatty. Squatty potty?

You don't have a squatty potty? I had the off-road commode. This is a squatty potty right here. Get your knees up. Because the optimal... That's for the kids. No. No, they say the optimal position.

That's why you go so much better when you get in a bind and you got to squat in a wood. You get that angle right. I don't have no problem. I said better. I didn't say... I might have a bidet, but I don't have a squatty party. No, Jeff has one. And quicker.

For real. I hear it's great. Yeah. You go easier and quicker. When? The lower you get. Because of the lowness. Increase that angle.

I mean, you got to think about it. When your dog takes a dump, they ain't straight up. Well, my dog's old now. They throw them legs out. They get all the way down there. What's that? Up north. You go in the motels up north?

The commos are shorter. Shorter? I'm serious. I'm going to say further away from the equator. No? No, I don't know. Well, I'm just saying. I'm just saying, hey, all the commode in the north are shorter.

Well, I'm going to go up, I'm going to check it out. Yeah, report back. Maybe they do it. Hey, next thing to be up north to check it out. I accidentally bought a handicapped toilet one time. Accidentally. Well, I just bought it. It looked like the normal toilet, but it was just taller, you know, for people that have

trouble squat. Yeah, you needed a squatty potty just to get on it. It was weird. It was like your knees were, like, your feet were kind of dangling. If you were a short program. Oh, he was on one on high. When I was in high school, buddy of mine to play football with, he's short. He's fullback.

He always went to the handicapped stall to relieve himself either before or after practice. Because until it's solid. Yeah, I don't know why. I think because it just had more room. I think he liked the spaciousness of the stall. Okay. But every time you walk by, you know he's in there because he's swinging his feet. His feet wouldn't touch the ground.

We called him T-swing. That was his name. T-swing. He just sitting there. Gobwin get on that handicapped commode. He ain't touching the ground. I had one in my old house. Probably not.

Yeah. Squatty potty's. That's like Phil nickname that guy. Or his waist or his hip boots. Oh, no legs. We back on that bag. How come we don't think of stuff like that? Squarty potty.

$208 million. Because we're too regular. I guess so. We don't have no issues. Just get you a step stool. Cut a hole in and put a 5-gallon bucket there and you got you squatty totters. I ain't doing it. I mean, a cinderbop would do the trick.

It's just kind of heavy to move around. Yeah. Or just get your exercise in and hold your feet off the ground. Or just go crap outside. I ain't doing it. Or go find a law. There you go. I'm a bidet man.

I'm not going on. I ain't off a law. Badee. Don't get me started on that. Oh, here we go. All right. Well, let's take our last break. We'll be back right after this.

Let's roll it. We are in the last section, which means it's time to get in that inbox. Hello at duck callroom.com is the email address. Johnny D. What are you got? I got some good stuff. What happened? Ooh, something got my throat there.

I need a glass of water. Careful. Careful. So, yeah, we got 100 emails about Little Debbie ice cream. We ain't got time for that. We're aware. We ain't got time for it. But Cole from North Mancota, Minnesota.

Minnesota. Minnesota. Mancota. He said, I love your podcast and I love Duck Dynasty. That's right next to a Nolka. You even got to take a selfie with Godwin? Hey. All right.

Last year at Men's Ministry. Good thing. That's my Minnesota accent. I don't know if it's any good. So look, I need some advice. He's 23 years old, and this year he's going to preach his first sermon to his, he calls it a Christian group. I don't know if that means church or young adult group or what. He has what he wants to share written.

down, but he doesn't know how to present it to them without getting nervous. Thoughts, comments, suggestions. Speaking, public speaking. Picture everybody naked. That doesn't work. No, I ain't got a good enough imagination for that. This is what I'd do. I'd look at the back of the room in front of everybody over their heads.

I'd look in that corner, look in the middle, and look at that corner over. Never look at them. Never look at them. Oh, I look at them all the time just like I'm having a conversation. Well, I do now. Yeah. When you first started. Oh, yeah, I had to take that public speaking class in college.

And that actually helped a whole heck of a lot. That was one of those that I highly recommend. What did they say? They just force you. It's really, to me, there's no trick to it other than repetition. You just got to get up and keep doing it. Yeah. And that class every week you had to get up and keep doing it to a bunch of people.

Odds are you didn't know. you know because it's an elective so you got every dagum every major of everything in there you know and it was but yeah repetition is what helped me your first one going to be rough don't don't think you're going to go out there and kill it i mean just have your expectations set accordingly well in his mind he's going to think it was rough and he's going to see where he gets better it may be great be energetic yeah have fun just talk to him man have a good time when you do like i've not always notice sometimes I'll catch somebody looking and really paying attention and they kind of you always go back to them looking at the guy buying in yeah they're they'll fire you up you need a guy that's an

audience when you need a crowd which is where sigh is always a pro at well no no could i fix giving him my deal okay i used to have a band okay and i'd go out well when you go on stage you know this is one of things you do not do. Okay. You know, I love beautiful women. Okay. And I went out on stage one night, and this gorgeous woman, we locked eyes. I'm supposed to be singing.

The music is going, but hey, nope. There ain't nothing coming out in my mouth because, hey, me and her have done my eye contact, and, hey, she is miserable to my eyes of me. So I'm kind of like a deer in the headlights, okay? you know so but martin's right okay just hey get up and what you're going to do oh thank god i thought he was going to back to the picture i'm naked no no focus on what you're telling them about and not miss christine how great that god the father his son jesus our lord and the holy spirit is and hey you'll be fine you'll be fine yeah and it's okay to have a little

dead air in there while you gather your thoughts i don't really care for a lot of ums if i'm sitting there listening so i'm not an um guys well they tell me i repeat something i don't remember what it is they say i say all the time oh yeah well example a okay no no yeah uh hey hey that's gonna happen too we've heard about no leg 17 times on this party you remember in new mexico

when that planet burnt up yeah it's funny because it comes when it comes up One of my favorite stories is when Willie was backstage with Luke Brian and Luke was opening up. It was like when he was a big deal. He was open up for somebody and he goes, Will you know how I do this every night? Well, he's like, huh? He goes, you got to be confident, son. And he just ran out on the stage. And so then I've probably seen Willie speak a hundred times in my life.

And every time he'd look at me right before he went on and go, you got to be confident, son. And he'd walk out there and he'd do his thing. So you do have to be confident. And even if you're not confident, just do it anyway. Yeah, I will say, like, as many times as we've spoke around the country now and done everything, the minute to a minute and a half when somebody's introducing me, I'm a nervous wreck every time. Still.

But as soon as they hand me that microphone, all that mess leaves. It does. But that minute to minute and a half while they're doing that intro, I'm always creeping. I'm like, give me that mic. I need to be the one with a mic. As soon as we get there, we're good. Let's roll. Give me the mic.

But how am I going to start? How am I going to start? How am I going to start? Yeah, that's generally when you start with that game more than joking and keep moving. Get everybody laughing, get everybody on your side and keep on rolling. Got to be confident, son. Be confident, son. What else we got?

What else we got? Trey, he emailed in and has a question for John Godwin. Uh-oh. And it's kind of a harsh question. Harsh. Why doesn't Johnny G. wear a beard. Let's face it, goatees, goatees are the vest of the facial hair

hair world and Al Robertson vest at that. Oh no. So I got to start wearing a vest? No, no, it's just, he's saying your goatee is like wearing a vest. Oh, really? Vest or warm. He said vest or warm. Well, hey, here's the deal. I want to be different. Hey, the man don't like vest. and he don't like goatees is what I get out of this.

That's what it is. He hates these cans. Why do you do the goatee instead of the beard, just out of curiosity? It's just different. I like it. I think you look good. Everybody had beard, so I just got her a goatee. My woman liked it, so I shaved it off one time.

I knew that's what was the bane reason. She looked at me and said, I'll tell you when I do that. Paula liked the goatee. Okay. I tried to go to you. I just didn't. I've never tried to. I had like a mutton chop thing for like 30 minutes on time.

Yeah. This wasn't for me. Well, that's like the big pork chop sideburn deals. Polk shop sideburns. I don't, yeah. That isn't much. Elvis the pelvis sideburns. No, sideburns are okay.

It's the ones that come down and it come down. Yeah, they're so grossly. Oh, looking like Wolverine or something. Yeah. Yeah. They're a gross looking to me. That's my opinion. You're right.

That's a very clean look. Oh, no. I don't know. I'll just feel. Right. It's just a beard. Okay. There you do.

What now? All right. What's next? And now? Uno mas. Do we go serious? I got a pretty serious one. That's doing it.

Yeah. Why not? Why not? We've done been funny. All right. This one's not funny. I'm funny. I'm funny now.

You funny? too. Hey, that's what Prince said. Everybody, buddy. We're getting the serious preacher mode. All right, let's go. Jesse in Pennsylvania, I know this email probably won't get read. But I would like to know your thoughts about babies that are lost due to miscarriage.

Do we believe, do you believe we will see them in heaven? My wife and I lost a set of twins last fall and just lost a baby last week. I hate to hear that. We'll be praying for you. And he said, love the show. So there's the question. carriage and what we think about it, what it, heaven. I'll lead it off.

Boy, that's a tough one. It's a tough one. I mean, it's a tough. It's an easy answer to me. It's a tough. It's tough to do with. Yeah. Allison, we haven't probably told hardly any people this, but I remember Allison,

she was pregnant after Carter that it didn't work all out. And it was pretty early. So I didn't really feel a lot of pain. because it was so early. And I, like, I don't know that that makes a difference. But she felt a ton of pain. And I fully think one day I'm going to get to heaven, and I'm going to have Carter, Bens, Lottie, and Tiger,

because Allison wouldn't let me name either of my boy's Tiger. And so that's maybe his name. But I fully think that. I think conception starts in the womb. That's why I'm against abortion and all that stuff. Because that's a human being. God knitted together in Allison's womb. And knew you in the secret place is what his word says.

Yeah, that's right. Okay, so you're right when you said, hey, my take on it, you know, yeah, they'll be in heaven. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. I 100% agree with that. I just, you know my name of kid. He says also in his word, if he knows any sparrow falls, trust me, he knows when a baby, and that's the reason it's wrong.

Okay. That's a live human being, okay? I don't care what this world says. Yeah. That's a live human being from the moment of conception. Amen. Hey. It's a biology major.

I agree. Yeah. It's me now. It was me then. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, how a human being could say that, okay, is beyond me. Yeah.

Romans one senseless you're thinking is senseless it's like when we you know come to our senses and learn to follow Jesus you know after we're baptized

the Bible says you are a new creation okay so thank God for that you know when a baby's you know is conception

that's a human being for crying out loud yeah new creation Amen. He's a new creation. What was his name? Did he put it?

Yeah. Jesse in Pennsylvania. Jesse, we're going to be praying for you all, man. That's a, I haven't dealt with it, but I know a lot of people that have. And that's a rough deal. I know you may not want to hear this, but by man, you and your woman, if you're meant to have children, God will see to it that you do. Okay. And that's my prayer for both of you.

Amen. And who knows what to do? the good Lord was saving those kids that we're going from. Only he knows. Yeah. And you strive to get there so you can ask the question. And one day we'll all be. We'll all know.

That's right. Even young tiger. That's a cool name. That's fantastic. Yeah, me and Allison, I really fought hard to name a child tiger. Man. Some people don't like it. Your wife bailed on tiger, but what will be in?

That's funny. You know. We got different names. I love it. Well, close us out of here, Johnny Dees. I've had this Bible verse in Stee. store for since segment two. It's actually my dad's favorite Bible verse.

Oh, First Thessalonians, 411. Yes. And make it your ambition to lead a quiet life. You should mind your own business and work with your hands just as we told you so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and that's, and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. And I'll add, and then one of the.

the opportunity comes, you can help someone that's in dire need. That's exactly right. That's right. Amen. We'll see y'all. That's the reason God blesses everybody is, hey, pass it on. When he blesses you, you pass it on. Absolutely.

Amen. We'll see y'all next time right here in the duck call room. We're out. We go.