Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Is Getting Ready to Have Surgery
Episode Date: May 17, 2022Si is gearing up for lung surgery, and he's absolutely fascinated by the procedure. Martin has strong feelings about the baby formula crisis and the greatest theft in America. Si and John-David specul...ate about Jesus' blood type. The boys discuss where they'd move if they could live anywhere. Si is having fun with the Almighty. Godwin wins the day by naming the three ways to get to Alaska. And Martin offers advice to first-time expectant parents. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Well, Sire, where you been?
You wouldn't hear the other day we brought in Corey to replace you.
I will have to say, this is a downgrade.
It went good.
Oh, don't tell me that.
No.
Corey's always fun.
He was saying you were a downgrade.
Yeah.
I was a downgrade.
That's what he would say.
Hey, it just went right over.
That's like that.
That's because he ain't woke up yet.
Yeah.
Poor boy, he ain't woke up.
He ain't woke up.
Well, I actually went to Houston for my doctor's appointment.
How'd it go?
It went good.
And he told me the vow that we're doing a bunch of tests right now to find out if I'm a candidate for it,
because you've got to have all these problems to be a candidate for it.
Do they need somebody to come testify on your behalf?
I was wondering if we could make a joke about all your problems.
They need a character witness?
They already know about the problem.
When Dr. Connolly come in, he said, oh, I'm in the president of the president.
greatness. I said, no, that's the other way around there, mystery.
Hey, look, you're going to start watching late night TV, like 10, 30, and 11.
You're going to start seeing size face talking about an implant for you long.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, no, it was very interesting, you know, because he actually showed me one of them.
And, you know, if you don't know anything about it, I ain't got a clue.
You always, yeah, you always just imagine, okay, you know.
I imagine this thing
Kind of like a big spider
You know, they were going to put it inside my lungs
And it was going to do this with claws to hold it there
That's the most terrifying thing I've ever heard
Now, well, see, that was just me
Assuming a bunch of jokes
So what's it going to do?
Well, no, no, all it is is a real
Soft
Piece of tubin
Made out of pig meat
What?
No, made out of some kind of plastic
and all you do is you put it, it fits.
They actually have to, you know, tailor-fit it to your airways.
That's what I said.
You know, and he said, hey, you know, he said,
oh, this is the easiest part, it's putting this in.
He said, all the preliminary work is the real hard part, you know,
because he's got to figure out, you know, is this part of the lung?
Because I didn't know it, let's see.
It's one or the other, I'm not sure now.
He told me this, okay, but you got two lobes on one side and three on the other.
Hmm.
Okay, which I did not know.
Yeah, I'm not a pulmonologist.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, look, he's drawing all these pictures telling me the problems I've got with my lung,
and he's drawing his lungs, okay?
These are healthy ones.
These are that need work.
These are ears.
Yeah, you know, so it was really cool about all the stuff, you know.
And the trick to it is, okay, he's got to figure out if the bottom part of the lobe is talking to the top part.
Because if they're talking to each other, I can't do it.
You can't do nothing.
But if they ain't talking to one.
But if they're not talking to each other, then you can have counseling.
I always got in trouble for talking into the truth.
Yeah, you can actually put something in there, you know, and they won't know it anyway.
Because they ain't communicate.
Okay.
So, hey, that's one here's one of the new good things along there, okay?
Communication is the key.
Okay, because if you ain't communicating, you get left out, Jack.
Okay, so, hey, but it was really, it was really interesting, and the whole time he's doing it,
I guess I had a funny expression on my face because as he was talking, I'm thinking, okay, about the Almighty.
you know and I said I said well I said I said I really enjoyed what you're telling me
because I got a better idea of you know what's wrong with me you know long wives
I said but it just I said God is having so much fun with me right now okay
yeah because every day he's sending someone or sent me in a situation where I learned something
okay and like you don't really understand how perfect a body you've got okay until you get sick
until it starts falling apart yeah when it's fallen apart then you say yeah well we can do this
and you know because used to look when they had all that they would go in and cut out
hard of it and then the doctor said hey it's brutal it was brutal back in the day when we
was learning.
He said, now it's a lot
better. Now they go in put a little
tube, Ben, and you go. Now they just, look,
it's like just a vowel, okay?
To stop the air,
it will go out,
but it won't come back in.
So you won't trap any bad air
in your lungs, okay?
It will only let it, you know, go out.
It won't stay there.
You trap bad air in your lungs?
Yeah, oh yeah. If you can't expand,
like when you intake, you know,
We both, when I inhale, okay, the good lungs and the bad lung, okay?
It's about the same deal, you know.
But the problem is, okay, when it exhale, I don't get rid of all of it.
Okay, he does because he's healthy.
So you're holding in some of that like paper mill there.
No, no, yeah.
That ain't no good.
Yeah.
You know, it's like foul owl, you know.
Fowl, ow.
Well, no wonder, that's your nephew.
Well, no, he just got confused when he's talking about air and owl.
I see where you can make that confusion.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm getting a full...
I can't even talk.
But it was very interesting
and it was very educational.
So they're just giving you some stuff
to help expand your airways more.
Well, in a way.
To empty them.
Yeah, to empty it.
That way the air can escape.
He can fill them up.
He can't get rid of it.
Okay.
Because of the diaphragm is not working properly
because of damage from...
From...
Well, if they wouldn't...
Just idiot smoking too many cigarettes.
Okay.
Cigarettes are bad for you.
Don't listen to what they say.
They're lying to you.
Who says they're good for you?
Well, the people that make them.
Okay.
Oh, I don't even think they're making that claim more.
I apologize, but hey, just live with it.
There you go.
You get what you deal with.
So what did we learn?
I mean, I know what you learned, but like, where are you in the process now?
Well, we took an x-ray.
They put a bunch of...
I think they named it iodine, but it's actually some kind of monkey blood.
Yeah.
Huh?
It's just something dark where they can see everything better, okay?
Oh, they put some contrast in you, did a cat's hand, stuff like that.
Yeah, well, they can see it better.
I got it.
Anyway, and I ain't got the result of that yet.
That's been, you know, within 24 hours, they said.
You're glow in the dark now.
Oh, I glow in the dark anyway.
You glow in the dark?
But that's just one of my other problems that I have to do with it.
that's too much lemon in his tea that's just another thing i brought on from nom
no no no that's why me and god have so much fun i'm serious i really i really do
by the way he's waking me up all hours of the night and morning okay just to whisper little
nuggets that i need to hear in me and i'm loving it's one of them i've got eight all right look
springtime is here it's warming up you know what that means that means
more outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of
our friends over at tritels beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our
friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got trytells getting ready for
a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in
case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to him but with
Triedails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way.
Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas.
They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while.
Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way.
Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door.
We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.
Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need.
Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living,
you can taste the difference.
The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic.
So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season,
go check out Triedails Beef.
I know in size case, Christine loves it,
which is just a, she doesn't eat meat.
She isn't a big meat easier, folks.
Yeah.
Just go to trybeef.com slash.
That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families
and eat some dang good steak.
We went to Houston, okay.
We had a get-together.
With Weldon, the American scroll guy.
Oh, yeah.
Me and Philip.
And while we was there, okay, we met an extraordinary, extraordinary.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I hadn't heard of this.
Chestney.
Yep.
Okay.
That's Kenny's brother.
No, this is the Navy SEAL.
And like when he was 17.
Show the autograph.
You got to show the autograph.
Huh?
The autograph in there.
Oh, you've seen, you know,
I hunted with him this year.
Oh, okay, okay.
He autographed your book?
There's the autograph.
This is not Kenny's book.
One more page.
Yeah, this is not Will.
No, that's the autograph.
The Palmer.
Yeah, but you had it on the back.
Now, there it is.
Well, I'm just saying.
This book is literally really about the dog.
It is.
Okay, he's the most famous dog, military dog in the world.
Okay, and he was actually Will's.
right-hand man
when he was in the field, okay?
I guess that's wrong.
Okay, right-hand man, right-hand dog.
But anyway, I just read part of it.
Them two guys.
It's actually going to be really a good read.
It is.
I'm about halfway through it.
Oh, no, no, because I've read about five pages of it
and I said, well, I've got to go to bed.
Is that when you hunted whenever Brittany had COVID and I stayed home?
Yeah.
Dang, I hate it.
He's the real deal when he was a kid.
All he could think about was, okay,
I'm going to be a Navy SEAL,
and I'm going to be the one to get Bin Laden.
Oh, he was in there.
Okay, but he was one of the TILC members
that did that raid.
Well, there you go.
Okay, and I don't know if he was the one
that actually, you know, took care of Ben Laden.
You don't ever have a boring trip, do you?
No, no.
That's why I'm saying.
God is having so much fun with me.
And you met the dog?
Huh?
No, the dog is past the way.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
But the thing about it is, y'all, this is truly amazing, okay,
because they're human being that said, okay, man's best friend.
Okay, and in some instances, oh, that's very true.
Oh, ain't no doubt.
Okay.
Because this dog, you know, took bullets for soldiers.
I tend to agree with them people that say we don't deserve dogs.
I tend to agree with those.
No, no, we really don't.
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
I tend to agree with that.
Yeah.
Because this is one of the things, because I always say, when I'm out preaching,
talking to people about Jesus, that we misused the word love
because we really don't have, in my humble opinion, a real understanding of it.
That's right.
Because, okay, this dog was always, whatever happened.
he would take it so the other guy
for the other soldier didn't.
Okay, now that's true love.
Yeah.
Okay, to give yourself for someone else.
Okay, so it's amazing.
It was a really good trip, okay,
as far as I was concerned.
Because I learned a lot and I actually got to talk to a lot of people
and one of the guys that I got to talk to,
he said, I don't know what happened.
They used to be pretty tight with God.
You know, and he said, if something just happened,
and, you know, how do I get back?
And I said, well, that ain't a big problem.
I said, all you did, you do what all you want to do, okay, you stumble.
I said, and he said, yeah, but how did it happen?
I said, well, you took your eyes off of Jesus.
I said, you got to stay focused on him.
Yeah, and then you're, you know, and I said,
all you do, hey, go back, start going back to meeting with the God's people, okay?
That's who you hang with, okay?
That's how you get back in.
You hang with God's people.
When you mess up, just like I do on a, probably a daily basis, I got to say, hey, you ask me again, you know, and I've been an idiot again.
I'm back.
Yeah, I'm back.
And, you know, just I know, I know before he made to say it to you, I know it's so stupid that I did it, but I did it again.
But that's true love, okay.
He always forgives us.
He died for us when we wouldn't worth it.
But, you know, now, I'll stop preaching there, buddy.
You ain't.
You guys stop preaching.
You're pretty good at it.
I really had a good time.
That's good.
You know, I'm like Tom Brady right now.
You know.
Very athletic and handsome.
Oh, well, no, no.
They offered you 375 mail to call football.
No, no.
I'm having the time of my life.
Oh.
Because that's the way I look at Tom Brady.
Okay.
He's having the time of his life, okay.
I don't know.
I've seen what the boy eats.
He ain't really living.
He goes to bed at 8.30 or something like that.
Hey, well, what he wants, what he wants, yeah, he's living, boy.
Different people are different.
He's living how old.
I ain't seen nothing of him catching a fish or killing a duck.
He ain't living.
Well, no, I'm kidding.
That's just that, but that's...
I wouldn't trade him.
That's from your perspective, okay, I've got a different perspective.
No, I know.
Well, yours is wrong.
Tongue and cheat.
Yours is wrong, so we got to cancel you.
I don't agree with you, therefore you're wrong.
I go that way a lot.
Okay, I'm wrong a lot.
Oh, hey, yeah.
But that's me.
Wow.
Anyway, the trip was, to me, a very successful venture.
Successful venture.
You take your new rig?
H-T.
Oh, yeah.
How to drive?
Driving in style.
Right, fine.
Do you sleep the whole way?
No.
No, couldn't sleep.
There's too much traffic.
Oh, I got you.
It was bumper to bumper.
Oh, yeah.
It is down there.
And here's what hit me.
You know, we driving down the road.
I'm saying, I fixed say I was driving.
No.
Phillips driving down the road in my new truck, okay.
And it's bumper to bumper, okay?
And this is like 9.30 in the morning.
In Houston?
Yeah.
There's a lot of humans down there.
Don't anybody work anymore?
Yeah, they're going to work.
Well, they ain't going to work there late if they're going to work.
They've been up.
Since 7 just stuck in traffic.
Well, I'm saying, where all these people going?
Oh, where?
Well, no, no.
Everybody's headed to Texas.
I know that because, what, I talked somebody the other day in church.
You know, and he said, 600 a day.
Really?
Yeah, coming from in California.
600 people today are coming.
You know, my daughter, where she lives, she lives outside of Fort Worth in Hurst, Texas, okay?
There's been like a million people come in the last.
last year.
There's almost as many people in Houston as there is in Louisiana.
Oh, no, no, I didn't know.
That was one of the things.
I didn't know Houston was that big.
Yeah, that's big.
So we go over one of them big high ramps.
Okay, getting into Houston.
Yeah.
And I mean, as far as you see the left, there's skyscrapers and far as you see the
right skyscrapers.
And then when we get to driving where we're going, okay, we got some of the suburbs of
Houston.
Then you got to pay to go down the road.
Well, no, no, we was lucky.
We was on toll roads, but it always said no cash.
No, you didn't.
Let me tell you what's going to happen.
They got a little camera.
They take a picture, you tag, and they mail you the bill.
Oh, okay.
Phil told me, I said, well, we may get out.
I said, when we get off, that's when they'll stick on.
You're going to get, no, you're going to get like a $7 bill in the mail.
I got one before care.
I don't know because the buddy borrowed a trailer for Buck Commander.
No, look, if you're going to do a toll road, they need to all do that.
Like, just take pictures.
They're never going to pay for them all of them.
Yeah, ain't no big deal.
That's like right now.
Why I stop?
There's a $40 billion deal that the United States is doing.
Okay.
To buy Twitter?
No.
This is for to help Ukraine.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
I hadn't seen that.
Yeah.
Now, everybody up in arms because we're sending $40 billion to Ukraine.
But infants can't eat because there's a formula short.
seem like we could come up with a better spin for that 40 billion.
Well, hey.
And I'm not saying the folks in the Ukraine don't need no help.
Yeah, they need it.
I'm just saying we need to prioritize some things.
Yeah.
That perhaps ain't in priority.
Ain't in the right level of priority.
But I stay out of that.
Well, that makes sense.
Now we're getting into the news.
Yeah, well, I mean, that's what I saw.
Because I've seen it everywhere too.
And I don't even look for the news, but I've seen that one.
I hadn't seen that one.
Well, you know, when you're, you're,
out somewhere else and you got all this time on your hands when you're not at the event.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're in your room.
You know, you need to do something so I got the TV on.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I'm finding out all this stuff.
Yeah.
I notice there ain't much prioritized and prioritized.
I can't even say it now.
Patriotism?
No, prioritizing.
There you go.
Prioritizing.
Going on lately.
Not oratize.
No, it's just kind of like a shotgun approach.
shoot them all at once, see what happens.
Scatter right there and see where it lands.
That's what Paula said.
One day, I was there in ducks evening, I had a box of shells.
You know, it's got a picture of them shells filled out.
And she said, no wonder y'all kill some more.
Look at all that.
I said, yeah.
That's amazing how many fly right through that wall and stuff too.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Well, there's some birds that can duck them.
Okay.
Oh, I know.
Matrix?
Matrix ducks.
Okay, hey, they can actually eat y'all, and I think one of them they call the swallow.
Oh, yeah, no, never mind.
Okay.
Because hey, look, when you actually, if you actually get one, you can't tell, you can't tell.
Okay, it ain't but feathers and bones, so no one of it missed.
Okay, there ain't nothing to hit.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never shot it one.
We'll take a break and we'll be back right after this.
If you were going somewhere, you'd go to Texas too?
go to Texas too?
No, I wouldn't.
Why wouldn't you?
I got a better place.
Hawaii.
No.
Because you can't laugh out loud.
I know.
That'd be a terrible place to go.
I couldn't have a lo-high.
I couldn't live there.
Where is that?
Hawaii.
Yeah, Hawaii.
Because I laugh out loud too much.
A big rock.
Do we want to go there?
No, hey.
So 600 people are moving to Texas from California every day?
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't live in California.
Yeah.
Would you, where would you go, though?
If you were like, I can't live in Louisiana anymore.
Let's take away home because I think we'd all pick that.
Where would you go?
You can't live here because you already live here.
So we're moving.
Where would you go?
Where would I go?
Yeah.
Well, I would need a time machine to go where I would want to go.
No, no.
Right here, right now.
Right now.
Right now, you got to move to a different place.
Okay.
I'm saying America, I'm not leaving America,
but I guess you could if you wanted to.
Yeah, you can go anywhere you want to.
Well, say what to Nehu.
I'm limited by weather.
Weather.
He's a lizard, boys.
Yeah, I'm limited.
He's going to Arizona.
He's staying below I-40.
He's staying below I-20.
Yeah, probably so.
There's so much that's involved in this situation trying to choose, okay?
No, no, no, really is.
Okay, because I started to say it,
Now I said, wait a minute, hold it.
What are you going to do during the hurricane season, Uncle Si?
Oh, you go on the venture.
Ah, yeah.
Okay.
But you just, to me, okay, if I'm going.
You stayed in the same state.
I thought the, I guess, that's a different state.
Oh, that's a different state.
Ask them down there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you get below.
A different state is below I 10.
That's right.
That's a different country.
That's like being, that's like living on the earth.
Okay.
And you go and you start to live in space.
That's the difference.
So I's going to Venice.
I'm going to go down there where the Mississippi River hits the Gulf of Mexico.
That's the most amazing place.
You know, I never thought about that.
Oh, no, no.
I wish I had the vision, okay, that I could look at the ocean and see all the critters in it all at once.
Like Aquaman?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I want to see it all.
I think he wanted to see like when Jesus parted that red sea.
Oh, yeah.
I love the ocean.
Oh, no.
He loves the ocean.
I want to know where Gowman's going.
I'm thinking.
Guy wouldn't go somewhere sandy.
He like a man.
He like being barefing.
He might go to the Bahamas.
And Gile was going where it does not any ice is.
Yeah.
He ain't going nowhere.
He ain't going nowhere to water gets cold.
He's peering this ice story.
What about it?
You just go like cold water.
Who?
I don't like cold water.
Who?
Whether it's liquid or it's hard, you don't like it.
That's right. Either way.
And that's okay.
It's okay.
I don't particularly.
I'm going to go, well, I'm going to go north.
He's going north, boys.
Arkansas.
Curveball.
He's going to California.
He's going central Arkansas.
Okay.
Missouri.
I might go up a little bit.
Oh, that's right.
Iowa?
Somewhere.
No.
No, he thought.
He thought, he was mine near there.
There is.
Somewhere around the line, Arkansas line and the Missouri line.
Oh, up around real foot.
Got a hole there.
That's a good part of the center.
You can get to a lot of different fishing places from right there.
There you go.
Right across the line.
Jay-D?
John's tough because I want to say Montana.
But I've only been there in the summer and I don't think I'd like it in the winter.
No, no, no, no.
No, no.
I would, hey, when the weather will get so cold that it kills cows, no, I'm out.
Yeah, I don't think I'm tough enough to make it through a Montana winter.
But the sky is just so big there.
They should name something after that.
I know it.
It's such a big time.
Well, that's why I started to say Alaska.
Ooh.
I ain't ever been there.
Hey, Alaska.
No, no, no.
You go there and it's slow.
Oh, no, no.
No, no.
Living.
Yeah, but I'm talking about, hey, it's a beautiful place.
It is.
Okay, gorgeous, okay, and there's a lot of game up there.
A lot of game.
Big bad game, too.
Oh, yeah.
My problem with Alaska.
Half the year it don't get dark.
The other half of the year, it don't get dark.
Yeah, I know.
Like, you get like, well, no, 30 months of like, man, this is okay.
Yeah, but you got to understand.
That's amazing to me.
Yeah, it's amazing, but it sounds like misery.
No, no.
Oh, it is.
Yeah.
When he gets cold.
He said, no, no, it is.
When I stepped off the plane.
I'm not going to Montana anymore.
You convince me.
Oh, no, no, because I stepped off the plane.
We landed in Anchorage, okay, when I was going to knock.
And I stepped off.
I'm in a summer uniform.
This old boy from Louisiana.
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah.
And look, it wasn't that bad.
You know, we got off the plane.
You were going to walk down the ramp and then had to walk to the, you know, to where you can go inside.
Well, I was out there about, oh, what, maybe five minutes.
Well, it wasn't bad.
I was comfortable, you know, until they told me, you know, hey, yeah, you stay out there, you know, like 30 minutes, you'd be dead.
So it was 40 below.
And then, hey, the best part of that was, look, is I come in, open the door and I come around and hang her right.
And guess what I run into?
A hater.
No.
Polar bear.
No.
Grizzly bear.
No, grizzly.
And I'm telling you, hey, that's grizzly could not.
you could not let him stand up in this room.
Oh, no.
Hey, they had the whole grizzly bounding,
and he's like this.
Look, and he looked like a...
Oh, it was mounted, and it still scared you?
Yeah.
Yeah, still, excuse me, because, you know, you come around a...
So I got scared by a fake Native American seahops.
Yeah.
A mounted grizzly bear got him.
Oh, no, no, no.
This time was humongous.
He ran and left everybody else in there thinking it was a bear.
I'm telling me, his claws looked like similar riled.
Simmerized swords.
Semarized.
And he had his mouth open and looked.
His teeth looked like they was that long and that big around.
He said about two foot.
Oh, no, I'm telling you, this thing wasn't a colossal.
I didn't even got a word big enough for him, okay?
Gigantic.
But I like to have a heart attack, yeah.
Well, you've convinced me of not going north.
Yeah.
Where are you headed, Herm?
Them things are itchy.
It was good for a visit.
Okay.
Can we change this to, oh, we're just going to.
We're just going to.
We can do that in the next day.
Yeah, let's do that as soon as we find out where Johnny Dees is.
You don't have to move there.
You just want to stay for a week and then go.
I just want to go for like three days, okay?
I'm going to wham.
Going for a visit.
Because I would like to spend three days in Alaska for one reason.
Oh, yeah.
What's the reason?
Paying for gold.
Paying for go.
I'm weak.
No, no, I'm serious.
We did.
that one time.
When we were flying in on them little puddle jumping planes.
Yeah.
Okay, I was looking where the rain comes down off the mountain.
I said, I could get at the bottom of that with a pan.
And you already look like, though.
I would come back a rich man.
You look like all the people, yeah, all the people you see in them old movies.
Oh, no.
You know, there's town.
You've already got to talking to yourself.
Oh, no, yeah.
Hey, me and the boys will sit right in and Alaska, Jack.
You would have been the greatest 49er of all times.
I got bad news for you, though.
There ain't no oxygen up there.
Not much.
You're going to have to get that implant for you head there.
Did you picture, sigh, and some overalls with no shirt on, just panning for going?
See, there, it's always something.
Yeah.
It's always something when you make a choice.
There's whole towns up there in Alaska that don't have no roads coming to.
Oh, no, yeah.
The only way you can get there is boat, plane, or a mule.
Or mule.
Ride a mule up there, boy.
That's what they...
He'd say birth canal?
That's what they told me.
They ain't but three ways to get here.
Boat, plane, or birth canal.
That's good there.
I hope somebody in the last...
You gotta love it, though.
That means the people got a sense of humor, boy.
They have fun.
Oh, man.
Oh, that's good stuff.
Okay, well, we're gonna recover from that.
We'll be back right after this.
Do you want to know where I would go now?
Don't say anywhere that brings, that sparks a memory.
from these two.
Oh, I got one.
Florida.
Florida.
I would move to Florida.
Oh, yeah.
Down there, there's lots of been big carpet down there.
Make America Florida.
For a plethora of reasons.
Florida's got it going on.
Yeah, but that's where all the old people are at, son.
I hang out with you all the time.
They tell you, they are a lot of them down there, too.
I'll tell you.
I just come from America.
It's full of old people.
You want to know why?
Why?
Because they're all wise, and they said where they're at,
ain't near as good as Florida, so let's all just head on to Florida.
Oh, you're going after knowledge.
No, I'm going after.
Wisdom.
No, income taxes, beaches.
Oh, that's, whoever you tell you that is a bald-faced liar.
They don't have state income taxes.
Oh, yeah, they do.
They take their money.
Well, hey.
They just make you.
I'm going to open up the Honey Hole Saltwater Edition.
They've brainwashed you that you're not giving anything up.
I know you're still paying taxes, but you're paying less and full.
They're ripping you off.
Then most places.
It's the same reason all the people are leaving California and going to Texas.
Yeah.
Well, it feels better when you're not taxed for being successful.
See?
Yeah.
You have to pay property tax every month, which is the greatest theft in America.
But that's neither here nor...
Now we're getting political.
All I'm saying is, make America, Florida, Ron DeSandis President.
No, hey, that ain't the greatest rip-off there is.
Hey.
What?
Insurance is the biggest rip-off they cut coin.
Well, that's true.
That's another good one.
I would go to Florida.
Insurance is a rip-off until you need it.
Hey, he ain't going to we'll argue about it, boy, man.
I ain't for insurance.
So, Florida.
Unless I...
Somewhere around the confluence.
If money was no issue, then I would, you know, I would buy my own beach in Mexico.
Hey, that's why I went to Alaska.
Money ain't no issue.
Well, for you.
Well, no.
It's in the hills.
It's just laying around.
Oh, this is just totally mad.
Well, in that case, I'm buying my own beach.
There ain't no money problem in Alaska.
All the problem is, hey, the lazy people can't, won't work for it.
See, I just want to sit on a beach and go fishing from the bank.
Hey, you could get one of them metal detectors and find change on the beach.
Somebody get Jace on the phone quick.
We sell them now.
There you go.
There you go.
You can alarm exclusively at duck commander.com.
Oh.
I just had, hey.
I got it.
You got another one?
No, no.
Yeah, I got to say this on the podcast.
Go ahead.
Look, God woke me up the other morning about 2 a.m.
A guy or the Lord?
The Almighty.
Okay, that's what I thought you said, but I just wanted to clarify.
Okay.
Capital G-O-D.
Hey, here's what I want to know from everybody.
All right.
All right.
I want to know what was Jesus's blood type.
O positive?
Nope.
You know?
What's the...
I have my opinion.
What's the universal donor?
Hey, O positive, I think.
Is it?
Or O negative.
No, it ain't no negative.
Yeah, O negative is high dollar blood.
Oh, yeah, I got it.
High dollar blood.
It's running in my blank.
Oh, yeah, when you go sell it,
hey, universal.
Negative is big buck.
Donor call me all time, won't it?
O negative is...
So I'm going O negative.
Yeah, I think that's probably...
Probably right, because he gives and he gives and he gives, even when you don't deserve it, he gives.
He gave for all of us.
No.
Oh, negative's it.
Hey, I'm just, this is my opinion.
I'm not to tell y'all now.
What tell me?
Well, hey, it's resurrection, love positive.
What?
That's his blood type.
Resurrection, love positive.
Love positive.
Do you think he had a different type of blood?
Well, yeah.
Well, yeah, he had a different type of blood.
I thought he was human.
Hey, he, hey, he was a human.
being in flesh but he was also you know the deity and look he never done he gave like you
was talking about okay and then he was always positive always positive always loved involved
resurrection love positive boys that's what he had to have that's what he had to have he had to have it
that's it well martin i got them all i got them all scratched in their head besides heaven right i
scratched by here for four hours that next morning that morning when he walked me up let me know that
i love it i like i tell you me and all i were having fun buddy wow oh my wow you know if you spell
wild backers it's still wow if you flip it up right how you spend it either way you want to
back was off from it's still wild yeah remind you to call mom yeah um interesting but what is happening
in the world around i i want to know where it's
Martin wants to move.
A lot of people think it's A-B-positive, according to the internet.
A-B-Pos.
I think that's just historically what most people from Bethlehem, I guess, or Mazuris.
Since he gave all of it for us, I'm going over negative.
That's what a lot of people said to.
He was the biggest donor.
I mean, if we're talking about blood types that actually exist, that are known.
Well, just because not known, don't know.
That's why I'm saying.
Look at the Black Panthers.
sir.
That's right.
Hey, I give you the black pepper as evidence.
There you go.
Martin, where you're going?
Martin, right now you're thinking about moving because you have to sit in here twice a week.
Where are you going?
I wouldn't trade this time for nothing.
It makes me scratch my head and wonder how we get from here to there.
Oh, I love it.
I love it.
I love you.
Now, I will say, I ain't going north of like St. Louis.
That's a good stop.
That arch, that's actually why they built it.
It's a big stop sign to say, don't go above this.
Yeah, or go west, something like that.
Yeah, I think it was east to west, not north and south.
Well, I'm changing it.
I've been up in that thing.
It moves.
Hey, that's a good question.
Why did we settle this America from the west?
Why did we everybody travel west?
Because that was the only direction of the left.
Because of that song.
Because of what song?
Go west, young.
man who's been told
California's full of whiskey
women and gold
there's gold in them hills
so not as far as St. Louis
and not as
I would say probably somewhere
North Alabama probably
North Alabama
you're just saying that because all of our
fans are from North Alabama
Tennessee River that's why I ain't saying that
what it does is it gets you
a shorter drive to like
everything yeah but that's beautiful country
gunnerville north whaler that's beautiful country you can be duck hunting in three hours
oh yeah you can be fishing i mean there's just it's a lot turkey hunting deer hunting you got
you got like gunnfield a lot of cropy lot of oh yeah a lot of ducks coastal river yeah
yeah i don't know somewhere like that you got a lot of deer you got a lot of turkey
okay north alabama i didn't see that coming didn't see it i mean i mean i didn't see it i'm
not going to the beach.
No, I ain't going to Florida.
I enjoy the ocean.
I'm feeling.
I'm fixing to go to the beach.
I think there's still some.
Who's Phil Robertson?
Yeah.
Okay.
Was he not a beach man?
No.
I like the ocean, man.
I think I'm still,
there's still some places in North Alabama that's kind of wild too.
They got big blocks of woods up through there and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
I thought you're talking about Huntsville.
And they got, no.
Yeah.
But they got like cool thing, man, all them creeks.
They got like high salamander.
diversity and like turtles and stuff like that i mean you can really go be a nerd you can take your
kids go down to the tree and he's choosing he's getting kicked out of his house and he's choosing
where to go based on the variety of turtles that's right and salamanders don't you want to see some
stuff man that's that's cool stuff and they got like a super high diversity of fish too like just
different little freshwater fish and stuff so oh biologically like that alabama river basin
is like the equivalent our equivalent of the amazon essentially biologically
Oh, really cool little area.
Well, hey, there.
It's just a melting pot of all kinds of species.
Well, you're talking about the Amazon jungle?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a cool place.
Dangerous place, but it's cool.
Have you been?
No, that's where all of our pharmaceutical things come from.
I don't.
Really?
Yeah, all our drugs.
Oh, yeah, it comes from some kind of tree of bark or Liam.
Oh, I thought you're talking about, like, illicit drugs.
Poisons off a frog.
They's talking about our boy, Pablo.
Poisons off a frog.
Look, have that side of your thumb.
And they'll kill you dead as a hammer.
A hammer.
The poison dart frog.
I ain't going there then.
They're touching.
That's what the natives down there use on darts, blowgun darts.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm glad I'm.
All they do is they just run it on that frog's back.
I'm going to shoot monkeys with it.
I'm glad I'm out of rain.
They eat a lot of monkeys.
monkey blood
then they get the blood out and sell it to you
I die
there's people that hunt monkeys
and that's weird to me
I mean it's fine if you're eating on but
yeah
I saw a mounted monkey ones
and I just couldn't get out
I was like why would you do that
like I don't get it
why you got to shoot it
well look
hey this is the round of the world
in 30 minutes or less
we hadn't even left the SEC
except to say places
we don't want to go
you're going to Venice
I'm going to Venice
I'm going to
to Florida, North Alabama, and Arkansas.
Everywhere else is too cold, though.
I guess what this discussion has really showed us is West Monroe, Louisiana is the place
for all of us.
Oh, well.
Yeah, but no.
I need to be a woolly mammoth to go to Alaska.
And all them people in the north say, well, we couldn't deal with y'all summer.
And I feel the exact same way about their winter.
So, I mean, I get it.
Oh, yeah.
Well, tell me the difference in this.
Uh-oh.
A well-dressed man on a unicorn or a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle.
A poorly-dressed man on a bicycle exists.
A well-dressed man on a unicorn or versus a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle.
What's the difference?
A tire.
What's the difference?
A tire.
There it is.
Is it a unicorn or a unicycle?
Unicycle
Unicycle
Did I say unicorn?
Yeah, unicyre.
A tire!
I didn't know where you're going.
Oh, boy.
I throw it off, didn't I?
I still got it because of the attire,
but the unicycle makes way.
Oh, no, yeah.
On a unicycle.
Yeah.
A poor-dressed man on a unicycle.
We don't talk to ourselves in such a big circle.
Well, I was looking at a joke.
I was looking at sigh when I told it.
And he is a unicorn.
One of a kind.
There ain't no doubt about that.
Well, let's take our last break.
We'll be back right after you.
I've always wanted to stop at the city called Chunky.
Chunky?
And take a picture in front of the site.
Oh, speaking of.
Chunky Mississippi.
You know where I met somebody from?
Where?
This is our fan, Bougar Bottom.
Bougar Bottom.
No, Tennessee.
Oh, there's true.
No, Bougar Town.
His name's Andrew.
He came in the honey hole.
He was sad that I'd cut off my mullet because I had one for about 30 minutes.
I put it on Instagram.
He was like, man, you should have kept that mullet.
I said, really, where are you from?
he said,
Bougartown,
I said,
that's funny.
And a matter of full disclosure,
I was one of your
get rid of it votes.
Well,
so I put a poll up,
so I had a cool mullet.
It was Billy Ray Cyrus
to the extreme for like an hour.
And I put a poll up
and there was like 900 keepits
and 200 get rid of it.
I was one of the 200.
What I figured out was,
that's just because a lot of rednecks dudes
followed me because it was like,
all the Trevers and stuff were like,
keep it.
All the Emmleys and Susans of the world
right now, bro, that's not a good look.
And that's a lot of, that's 900 people that really just want to make fun of you when you ain't around.
That's probably true, too.
But I love a mullet.
I thought I looked cool.
My wife didn't.
Anyways, Bougartown, Tennessee.
Yeah.
He told me how the farmers up there.
And they got a sign as soon as you come in town.
Pick you home.
That's a goblin joke.
I like it.
Lots of farmers and you can pick you on.
That's right.
Pick you on, boy.
All right.
All right.
Kobe from Tishaminger.
I got that's a card for my birthday.
I opened it up and running his finger off his nose.
He said, hey, I'll pick this out just for you.
B.K. must have got you that.
Oh, I loved it. I loved it.
All right. Anyway, Kobe from Tishominga.
And I love Tishamingo.
Is that some kind of dog?
No, it's a town in Mississippi.
You could have made a lot of money back in the day
because there was a man that would pay you to sing into his can.
But me and my wife, Tori, have recently found out we're expecting.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
They're 21 years old, found out about the same time that Martin was having a baby.
And he's just wondering, any advice for first children?
Martin, hit them with it.
Yeah.
Remodel your house.
It's a great idea.
Is that what you're doing?
Yes.
Wild, man.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
Your wife's not stressed at all.
I didn't know you were doing that.
Yeah.
No, well, we just made that decision.
Hey.
Yeah.
Consist.
Let's see, boys.
That's the trick.
Our house was really good for a married couple with no children.
Not so much for kids.
So you're just remodeling the thing.
Yeah, we're gotten a couple of things, changing a few things around.
There you go.
You're going to find out that once they start walking and crawling,
that there's a lot of stuff that's not high enough.
Yeah, well, we're getting rid of some corners and edges too in preparation for that.
We're smoothing things out a little bit.
Then if you've got one that is a climber,
you're never going to have enough.
It's never going to be higher enough.
Well, that'll be whichever one takes after his mama.
Yeah, that's true.
I said he is like I know his mama.
I don't know.
But, yeah, what everyone takes after its mama.
Now, if it takes after me, it's just going to lay there on the couch.
Patience.
Or mowed of grass.
That's what I'm hoping for.
I need a good weed eater hand.
Relax for us.
But I would just say first time, I don't, I mean, all I've been doing is listening.
Everybody. I ain't been trying to tell nobody how I'm going to do this, do that.
I'm taking all advice and putting it into my brain and listening because there's a lot of people that's got children out there.
Well, there is no ultimate plan.
No, you just, that's the other thing.
I said you just kind of read and react, you know, like, and you figure it out.
This is, you got to be a good improv person.
Better start being good to mom, you know.
Yeah.
And get her whatever she wants.
That's my other piece of advice
Because right now she's doing all to work
So
Yeah, no, it's going to be fun
I'm looking forward to it
Congratulations
Congrats, Kobe
Yeah, I just say hold on tight
And
Joy did it play defense
Let it ride, baby
It's going to happen
And get people around you
You trust
That's a good song
Right
Oh, is it a song?
Yes, it's a song
All right
I got another one
And this one's actually
Kind of incredible to me
Tanya from Crockett Mills, Tennessee.
She loves a podcast.
She's thankful for it.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
But she has a question.
Her daughter, Emma, is a teacher.
And they had a fish that died for the third time this week.
Wow.
Its name is now Lazarus.
She leaves school.
Lazarus is floating upside down.
She gets back to school.
Oh, she leaves to go to school.
She gets back home from school.
He's back alive.
Can any of us, Martin, looking at you,
explain what is going on with this crazy fish?
Playing possum.
That's amazing.
You said that.
That was what was in my brain because that's what he's doing.
You think he's just faking him out?
He's playing possum.
Is that it?
Yeah.
There's a water bug in the water with him,
and he's trying to get him to come close to him.
So he's playing possum to get him.
I don't know generally when I see a fish floating upside down I knock the sides off of him so I'm not going to be able to help a whole lot here
Knock the sides of it.
Well you don't eat a gold mother.
Says who you can?
Yeah, I think so you can.
It's a fish.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I have no idea.
I've never had a pet fish.
Or he could just be.
I have a lot of pet fish at work that I sell and they do the same thing.
I think fish are just weird, especially ones with short lifespans like that.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a goldfish?
I don't know that she's...
I've never heard of that before.
It's probably either a goldfish or one of them bait a fish.
Well, no, no, because what it was when she woke up, got ready to go to school.
Okay, he's still asleep.
Maybe he's just trying to keep her at home.
Maybe he's asleep.
He's asleep.
I'm serious.
Oh, I run out.
Or he's practicing, okay, or he's practicing floating.
They don't even move.
Or he might be practicing floating.
Maybe he's working on his backstroke.
Hey.
That's pretty cool.
Maybe you should name him Michael Phelps.
That is.
Instead of Lazarus is way better.
Lazarus is a good name.
Lazarus.
Lazarus did it want.
He rose something.
He just keep faking everybody.
Maybe he should name him.
He was dead in the morning.
Or sweet peevee.
He's wanting something.
That's what he is.
Maybe he wants you scratch his belly.
My dog does that every morning.
Every morning before I lose, she roll over.
I don't think nothing's wrong with her, though.
That's good advice.
Scratch the fish's belly.
Take your toothbrush.
Okay, an old one.
Okay, and scratch his belly.
An old one, I would try to do a new one.
Okay.
Them chemicals in Massachusetts.
No, hey, use the old one and then get you a new one.
Okay.
All right.
I love it.
Last one.
Alex from Baton Rouge.
Baton Rouge.
What's right?
Baton.
Guy, what's your birthday?
September the 6th.
So is his.
And he said it's the greatest.
day ever because of you two.
All right, Alex has a question.
He's been listening to podcast
and he needs advice. He is running for
sophomore class president.
The election is this
well you should have emailed in
earlier because you're not going to get this
in time. But in case, I'm going to give you, we're going to
give him class president advice.
He's not terribly popular school, but he does
believe his campaign will encourage the people
and to look
past that and vote for Alex
for sophomore class president.
Do we have any advice on a man running for sophomore class president?
Stay faithful.
He did put that.
He said he trusts God with whatever the outcome is.
Yeah.
I was meaning if he had a girlfriend.
Most politicians.
When they get to kissing on secretaries and stuff.
Martin ain't into politicians, Alex.
Stay faithful, boys.
Stay faithful.
You got any.
And all things, stay faithful.
Well, I want to know what his running platform is going to be.
Yeah, what was his campaign?
He said he thought was going to be successful.
He thought it was good.
Is it like pizza every Friday?
I like that.
Ice cream machine.
Yeah, I mean, where are we at?
If you're running for class president, okay, of the sophomore class, okay?
What is in it for me to vote for you?
Oh, Cy's up for taking bribes.
I don't know.
Well, I'm just saying, hey, this is business here.
Size says, I can be bought.
Yeah.
Hey, what's in it for me?
No, I just want to know what his campaign, what, my toe, I guess.
Yeah, I didn't run.
I didn't hold any class officer positions.
You know why?
Because that required you to be there more.
Yeah.
I was looking for the way to be there less.
That's that.
We went to such a small school.
About 10 of us could, as a joke, elect somebody to those positions.
And so we would do it to a kid that didn't want to do it and be like, you're our president now, man.
following you.
That's a nice thing to do to
do to Christians.
That's good.
Nice to know private schools.
They really take care of it.
That's the old song about,
hey, put the Lord on Granny.
Yeah, I don't know.
I wasn't really ever interested.
I never heard of that.
Hey, put it on Granny.
Ain't nobody else wants to do it, boys.
Put the load on Granny.
I don't have much advice.
I think you gave a good advice.
Do your best.
Do your best.
And then...
I just would take more classes
so you can get out half a day
your senior year.
There you go.
limit my time there, not extended.
Not of us.
I'm not what you would call a valued alumni of anything.
We're not really school people.
I ain't been back to ULM since I walked away from it.
I ain't been back to Western Nor High School since I walked away from it.
But my time there's done.
Now, there's one of the things that's been a nice visit.
Yeah.
But I ain't coming.
Hey, done.
Yeah, I ain't coming.
Thanks for the time.
Thanks for the time.
Thanks for the time.
I gave you enough money while I was there.
You don't need no more from me.
I'm in the wrong tax bracket for asking for donations.
Wrong guy.
All right, well.
Close her out.
Alex, good luck.
We hope you become a normal politician one day.
All right.
The verse of the day, it got me thinking.
We're talking about all the different places in America, which I think we can say,
there's a reason the song America, the beautiful, exists.
Because it is beautiful and God's creation is beautiful.
So Job's 12, 7 through 10, but ask the animals and they will teach you or the birds in the sky and they will tell you or speak to the earth and it will teach you or let the fish in the sea inform you.
Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this and his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.
Amen.
We'll see y'all next time right here in a duck car room.
