Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Is in Hot Water over PIE

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Uncle Si and John-David crack down on why it's exhausting to frown. Jay complains his bed is full of too many decorative pillows, and the guys all agree that their wives are to blame. Si talks about how his truck's self-steering scared him and predicts the future of how Judgment Day will play out which sounds oddly similar to a popular 80s movie. Martin picks on Si for his love of Western movies and how many hours a day he spends watching them. The room is in awe when a fan sends a testimonial of Si's advice working for him. And John-David shows everyone the new "Duck Call Room" fan who has a very familiar name. -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What were we talking about? Johnny D. The weather states. I got a great idea for you. The next time somebody comes into the honeyhole and says, here's our price. You look at them and say, no, I ain't paying that. Because that's what I'm dealing with right now. I've been known to do that.

Uh-oh. But I'm talking about a customer has been there a long time. Their argument is now materials and all that are going down. I'm like, hey, bro. that's cool. I had to pre-buy this stuff. And they're like, no, we're not paying the price increase. No more price increase.

So I just told them, I said, okay. You don't have to have our stuff. What if we all revolt against inflation? Well, I mean, I was just like, yeah, what if I had told my supplier, I ain't paying that. What if I told Cam and him, I ain't paying that? No, I'm still going to order it, but I ain't paying what you said. I'm going to pay what I want to. Bucktails went up 54% yesterday.

I mean, I don't... That's just hair. That's just hair. That's just hair. Yeah. That's just waste product. And you know, cycle. I mean, I ain't out there shaving the deer and then putting him back in there.

What? Don't be bad-mouthed the deer. I'm, how to, at what point of that was I bad-mouthed in the deer? Okay, I'm just saying, hey, he's bad-mouthed the people shaving deer. He doesn't mean it, baby. Hey, you can, hey, you can shave him and make 54% more. Tie you some jigs with him. Do you have the tail of that thing?

No. No. I could make $8 real quick. $8. That's what they're worth these days. They used to be worth four.

Oh, I had an uncle since you brought that up. He used to do that. That's what he... All the animals and birds and everything, he made all his fishing flies out of them. Well, then, you know,

y'all used to make pillows from duck feathers? Oh, yeah. How many ducks it takes to make a pillar? A bunch. A bunch. No, no.

See, that thing, Duck hunt used to be a really big deal. Because when the flight would start in, what, September, when the teal first started coming down, you know, people would be sliding sideways in the yard

jumping out and talking about, the flight is old. You know, and it used to last, like, for a month. You'd look up every night, you could go out and listen and the geese would be honking and all this, you know? And then, hey, when that happened, the day that the guy's slitting, it's yard, sideways, jumped out and yell,

the flight on, the women would start getting number three washtubs and all this stuff ready for the for the duct season. It was a big deal. Women don't do that no more. No. Oh, no, women, they've gone downhill. I ain't doing that. They used to be a really good, a really good workforce.

You heard it here first, boys. We may have to take our first break. I don't know that I'm going to be able to recover from that. There's one man in the world that could get away with saying that, and he's sitting right there. They all know I love them. He said they used to be a really good work. What are you got to understand?

I would love for you to explain it. No, don't. Just stop. There's no way where this gets better. There's no, you can't cancel Uncle Simon. I'm not saying you cancel him. I'm just saying there's nothing

that makes his argument better. Well, we went from inflation to this. What happened here? Okay. I need sunshine. All this rain is killing me. How do you know if a sun's out or not? Your eyes are always yellow.

I'm just telling you, this weather is killing me. It's about time to build an arc. No, no, I'm serious. We at least need to look at the floor plan. If you ain't got a boat, you better get one if you live in Louisiana. Because you're going to need it. Oh, man. It's raining.

Yeah, it's been raining. How high is the water, Mama, three foot high and rising? I don't went down. You used to be higher. Yeah, it's dropping. It is probably just my least favorite time of the year. Right now? Yeah.

Yeah, it's terrible. Oh, what? Everything's over. In Louisiana, February is the coldest month of the year for whatever reason. Yeah, and it's always wet. Yeah. So, but we'll get like this one false week of spring here in a week or two, and you're like, man, yeah, you go catch you a couple of fish.

Yeah, we're back. Yeah, you'll be getting to feel good, and then the temperature will drop 40 degrees. Then it had to pull the rug out from a moment. That's right. And you're like, well. You'll be ice on the rain again. Yeah, then you'll be back selling them orange crickets. Because water is going to be some muddy.

You've got to have something to. fish and see. Canada duck season ended a long time ago, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it starts earlier up there. I did see, like, duck season ended like two days ago and yesterday I saw just a ton of them up above.

I said, that's funny. Oh, yeah. That's how it always works. That's because there ain't no water. Everybody pulls their boards. So they get it back out there and everybody's like, we should open until March. No, hammer. We should close after Christmas because that's the peak.

Like, Christmas is the peak? go that way instead of going this way. Yeah, there are way more ducks here in late October than there is in late January. I don't care what anybody says. They ain't no miler ducks, but you can shoot size favorite green wing teal. Right.

And that's the best one anyway. Yeah. He's fast and he's good eating. So speaking of pillows, I heard you talking about pillows before we started. Well, what about pillows? You were talking about. Hey, somebody said something in here about,

hey, send me your shirt size. No, you said that when you go to a hotel or motel. Oh, oh, on that. No, what I want to know, why is the bed when you go into a motel? You ain't stayed at a motel. Oh, no, or hotel or whatever you want to call them silly things. But anyway, why is the whole bed nothing but pillows and they're not any good? Because it takes all of them to get a regulation one out of it.

Well, hey. As soon as you lay on it and the air leaves, it is gone. I know. Yeah. Get feathers. No, that's why, no, that's why you travel with my travel pillow. They like the decorative pillows. Oh.

So let me tell you what I do before I go to bed every night. I grab about eight pillows and I throw them on the floor. Then I get into bed. To the floor? I throw those pillows. There's ten pillows on my bed. One, two, every day. I only use one of them.

and she uses the other one. There's eight of them that have no value. No use whatsoever. So I go in there every night. I grab eight pillows and just sling them up against the wall. It's 10 minutes to unload the bed of pillows.

That's it. And then I go to sleep. Then pull the sheet and stuff back, slide in bed. I go get in the bed the next night, guess what? The next night, guess what? It's a repeat of the night before. You've got to get rid of 40 pillows.

And I said, why do we have all these pillows on the bed? You know what she said? Because I like them. And she wins. And you say, we have 11 or 12. And you say, okay, I'll fold the pillows off every night. That's it.

When I get me in bed. Martin, how many pillows do you have on your house? I think we have 11. Man, I got no way to count, but it's more than what we use. That's right. And look, you got to move them off the base. What used to tickle me is like you're going there on the couch and there's a dozen of them lined up on the couch. There ain't nowhere to sit.

I was going to say, they got them on the couch, too. Hey, got them out of the way. They got them on the couch. They got them in the recliners. They got them on the bed. I never understood why we have more pillows on our couches than, and you can't sit on the couch.

There's a pillow in the way. What's with pillows? What's with that? You know why? That's because they ain't got to pick them ducks to make them no more. Because the workforce is the climbing workforce. We just figured it out. They wouldn't make that,

they wouldn't have that many pillows if they had to pick all them ducks That's right. That's right. Or she wouldn't have them duck lights crawling on you either. I blame Joanna Gaines. Oh, hey, that is not entirely false. I will say. That's why everything in the, that's why all the pain inside houses is white now,

like, because of her. She did it. I felt like the president for a while at my house. White House? I just went home in White House every day. Everything was white. Yeah, at 8 o'clock at night, it's bright up in there. I went home and they painted the whole outside of my house,

I remember that. That's what happened. I'm like, what's going on? Oh, New Orleans style. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a place you want to spend a lot of time. No, thank you. I'll go through there to get to the other side.

Yeah, amen, to get to them stuffed chickens. It's not a great place to stop. Oh, we're back on stuffed chickens, boys. We always on stuffed chickens. Boy, I can go out right now. Let's take a break. We'll be back right after this. All right, look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means? That means. more outside cooking and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tell's beef makes such a good product ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got trytells getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef comes from but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation

American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, uh, she doesn't eat meat. She and a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash.

That's trybeef.com slash. Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. You know, Sigh, you know what we got coming up this weekend? No, whatever. Have I told you? No. This is the annual veterans hunt. on Phil's property. Oh, you're going back to the great, boy, that fly. Can you believe it? This is the last time we get to hunt. This is it.

For this year? This is it. They give us one day. I'm sorry, they give us two days, right? Yeah. One on each end. One on each end of the season, where they allow veterans and youth to go duck hunt. And they're usually real good. So I'm going to go scouting in the morning. I'm going to find us a nice little pile of ducks.

And me and you and seven, six other veterans, we're going to go in there and we're going to pull the trigger to them barrels start glowing red. He's got a gleaming his eye right now. Oh, no, no. That's fun. That's fun. That's fun.

That's the first duck hunting a year. He's talking about missing it. Good night. It's already over. He'd be his third time to go out there this year. And I enjoyed them. Look, I enjoyed the first dude just thoroughly. I did too.

I sat right beside him on the other. I didn't miss a thing. the rest of the year. You didn't miss that decoy either, did you? Nope. Well, not you shoot as I hit. Decoy, decoy, duct, whatever. It's at Lee's house, the cap from Seek one.

So he made side of that. Duke. So he decapitated that decoy. He didn't decap it. It's a good hard plastic. Oh, yeah. But it was chewed up. It looked like a dog been on it.

I mean, it looked just like a dog been sitting there gnawing on it. And what was bad, I watched the duck light. Me too. Right behind that decoy? No, no. No, she wouldn't. No, she wouldn't. Hey, go ahead and get up, kill that belt.

I said, okay. Boom. And the duck had done swam like 10 yards over to the left. That duck ain't moved. That duck sitting there quacking in the decoys. She moved. She moved. I just sitting there watching her.

I was like, man, look, she sounded good. But I did finally crippled her down and they had to chase her down. You crippled down a decoy? No, I cripple the duck. No, that's one shot, one killed. That thing was never to say. That decoy is dead as a hammer. Dead and a hammer, boys.

No, besides, I'm going to fire that grill up tomorrow night. All right. Where are you cooking one night? Everybody's come over to house. Oh, I think we're going to go with. Day's 30, okay, Friday. Ribide steaks. Ribide steak.

We're going to go with ribby steaks. Medium plus, boys. Medium plus. One of them will be medium. Oh, he's got that down pat. We're going to have a large time. A large time. So you just come over about 5 o'clock.

We'll get after it. Before your poker game. Well, I fix it like because I'm looking here. I can see him doing a schedule in his head. No, I talk to Macmillan. You don't have anything. Okay. Well, I know we just discussed all this stuff and updated my calendar.

Yeah, he said you're good to go. Speaking of your calendar, do you have any control over it? Not much. Do you know how much? Where it's located? Well, I know where it's located, and then we updated it once in a while. And I look, and I just, forget it. I said, somebody that called me and let me know,

and foot me on the plane or get me where I'm supposed to be. Somebody go push me through the airport. While I'm singing at the top of my lungs. Hey, look, I get bored easily. So don't let it, don't give me a layover unless you want about a four-hour show. You could probably charge for that in them airports. Because flying's miserable. Oh, the people

love it. Except a few sour pussies. Someone of it kind of ticks them off. I don't care. Could you imagine being an airport and seeing that one grumpy person who's been there for four days get mad at at Sifer singing? Oh, yeah. They get mad at anybody.

They're the same people that throw their stuff at the lady working a ticket counter like she in any control of anything that's happening. They don't realize that, hey, they're hurting their health. Who's hurting whose health? The people getting upset. All these people's always got a scowl on their face. It takes like 14 muscles to frown.

Okay, you're working yourself to death. Look that up. Okay. It takes 14. No, no, I'm serious. It takes 14 muscles to frown. It takes two to smile. And you're working yourself.

Look, let me educate you. Please. Hey, go the two muscle route. Don't go 14. Hey, you'll die young. Oh, life on this earth is way too short to be mad on it. That's it. Oh, my goodness.

Put a little laughter and a little joy in your life. And, hey, you won't believe the change in your personality. Johnny D. just found something. He's cringing. And if you don't, hey, go to Walmart and buy you a person. I'm not. The University of Chicago is probably wrong. I'm going to go with this other one.

What did the University of Chicago say? It doesn't matter. Somebody else says it takes 43 muscles to frown. Oh, wow. There you go. I thought it was just 14. 43 muscles. You are working yourself.

No, they've updated. I'm telling you, technology updated. It used to be 14. Now they've done it got really technical, and they have upgraded to 40. And only... So you are literally working your stuff to death. No, don't worry about it. You'd be that.

And 17 to smile. And 17 to smile. Oh, so he was off by like a factor of four. It ain't that bad. Well, hey. I remember we're good in math. Obviously, we discussed your prowess on. That's right.

But the moral of that story is it takes way more to frown than it does a smile. Yeah. It's a lot more tax. Hey, you're right. Quit working yourself to death. Yeah. That's the best line. That's the bottom line.

Just smile and laugh. Smile and laugh and have a good time and laugh. It's too short. What did you tell that boy that was going into college, that advice you gave him, do just enough to get by. Hey, that's it. Don't hurt yourself.

You're going to get paid the same anyway. Oh, my goodness. Okay. This is the first time I'm against what you're saying. Hey, go, hey, go, hey, there you go. My man is spitting truth. today. Yeah, he's just telling it how it is.

Don't work too hard. Hey, I'm telling you, I need sunshine. He had a good night's sleep last night, son. He was good. That's the one thing about rain I like. Sleeping? Oh, no. Was it hitting the tin roof?

You can sleep? Oh, can you sleep? Because you've got a major problem. Oh, no, because it's something you're about it hitting on the roof. I've seen you sleep in a warehouse with forklifts going. Yeah. I can sleep anywhere. That's like that in the military.

Yeah. Okay. But the 10. Warriors, okay, they can sleep during war. Warriors? Yeah, warriors. Hey, I'm a vet, so that makes me a warrior. You know, I can sleep during anything.

You know that, that canvas on the top of a deuce and a half is, it feels like a hammock. Yep. Yep. Confirmed. But you don't want to get an old one. No. It rocks. And you have fallen.

through it. That's the only thing about canvas. After a while, you know, whoop, okay, no good. It gets sketchy. Yeah, it gets rotten quickly. How many times do you sleep up there? A whole bunch.

Yeah. Did you ever sleep while he's going down the road? Yeah. Up there? Yeah. I wasn't driving, though. Well, I hope not. Well, I didn't want to forget any of anybody.

I wasn't driving. Well, if I had a steering wheel all the way up air, that'd have been cool. Oh, man. Could you drive while you slept? Huh? No. I just figured if there was one person.

But I could, I could look like I was awake and was asleep. You should get one of them self-driving cars. No. And then you could. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, why not? No, uh-uh, no. I got a truck right now, and like, I'm going down the road and I got close to it,

and the truck starts, the steering wheel starts moving, and I'm going, it freaked me out it really did I don't like those things no no it freaked me out because hey this thing's took control of me and I'm saying whoa wait a minute yeah the worst is when it starts breaking for it

yeah oh no no no no and look then like like that you're talking about no hammer I got this oh no I come up behind I come up behind not only does it start breaking it's flashing red light on the dash Collision imminent imminent Yeah I'm going Wait you've seen the word

This is going too far Forget imminent You just gave me a heart attack Yeah It's collision It took over I just whoa What in the world

Your truck told you Collision imminent Oh yeah It's imminent Did you collide? Oh no It's flashing red And I'm saying

Hey I got Don't worry I see the car in front of me You stupid thing You don't know computer that tells you just how far

we've come oh no no that's they're going a little too they're going I'm against on that

I don't like it I've updated a computer before and everything goes haywire and I don't want that to happen while I'm going

60 miles on oh no I have no doubt when the all body finally just said okay I've had

it I've had enough with them I'm done with them he's going to let the computer kill us all Okay, because hey, you got to understand, we've got nuclear missiles aimed at each other.

And guess what controls the nuclear missiles? Computers. This took a dark turn. Hey, you watched the Terminator last night, didn't it? No, no. He watched the rock. Oh, no, hey, look, I'm just telling you, hey. Yeah.

I had too many bad experiences with computers in the military. They will run a muck on you. I will say this, they will run a muck on me. Because I just, hey, all I deal was I wrote a letter, signed it, sorry for the class Robertson, this is time sensitive, filed it. Okay. It filed, it doubled the last line.

I flew with it for a little while, and then finally I just, I hit file, and then, hey, something from, out of space started running through this computer, and it was just running, whatever it wanted to run. I'm looking at it, and the guy behind me, I was screaming at this stupid machine. He come up and said, what did you do now?

And I said, look, I ain't done nothing. I said, I filed this stupid thing, and look right now, something else took over. I didn't enter the machine or something, because, hey, it's gone slam insane. I can't turn it off. I can't stop it. I can't do nothing with it.

Oh, I hate to tell you, you can turn it off. Oh, no, no, I can't. He's plugged into the wall somewhere. Well, hey, I'm telling you, I can't because look, he said, hey, look, it's 5 o'clock. Go ahead and go home. I'll fix this. And I said, hey, that thing is time sensitive. It needs to go out tonight.

He said, I got it. Don't worry about it. Yeah. So the next morning at 5 a.m. I come in. He had done crash the system seven times, had to reload. everything we had. So he had been there all night screaming at it,

okay, and it's still running them up when I walked in the next morning. I've dealt with some of your fallouts. That's about how they go. Oh, no, no, I'm serious. The machine is going to kill us one day. The whole world, it's going to burn it up, you know, and we're done.

We're toast. We are done. Let's take a break. I was in Willie's truck one time, and it was on cruise control. And it just went way down because I got behind somebody, but I think it's on cruise control.

Yeah. I was going 50 on the interstate for an hour. Yeah, it's got radar on. I was like, what? Yeah, that happened to. Yeah, they got radar on it. And I don't pay that much attention

to how fast I'm going. I said, somebody somewhere has put a governor in this thing, and I have no idea I'd have to turn it off. Well, sigh against the machines. That should have been your ban. And I had to contact Felipe and say, Hey. I think it's been done.

Come over here, come over here and turn the governor off on this stupid machine that I've got. And? And he did. There you go. Oh, you're chucked. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you tell me, when they say, hey, this one's got all the bells and whistles, I'm still looking at this stuff now. If you ever say something's happening.

What else is it? Besides collision imminent, which is my favorite. Oh, it'll take over if you're getting too close to a vehicle. That's a good thing. You don't take over, just move you over in another lane. Is that a good thing? No. Why not?

Because it's scared that you know what out of me the first time it happened. I'm going down the highway and then all of a sudden I freaked out. I bet the person that you were about to hit really freaked out. I think the world's probably just ready for you not to drive. No. I got to get to where I got to go. Yeah, but you got to feel it. Yeah, okay.

My grandmother's 85. She still drives. Are you serious? Oh, yeah. Remember, she got involved in a high-speed chase. That's right. Hey, cops chasing her. Yeah.

She got spike strip. And they couldn't catch her. And they couldn't catch her. And they've got radio. Yeah. Yeah. I might not should. I hadn't heard this story.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Her and Thelman Louise got a spike strip there at the intersection of that gum, North Seventh, in Arkansas. Yeah, they finally had to get her with the strips. The cop got behind her because her friend was going 50 and a 35, and her friend's like 90.

And my grandmother said, oh, you didn't get out of the way. I think it's a fire truck. So she said, well, I'll just gas it then. So I get out of way. Then the police were like, calling all cars, calling all cars. We got a runaway minivan. Two old ladies. They didn't know it was two old ladies.

and they spike stripped them. Are you serious? Yeah. I wonder how they felt. They probably pulled out, get out, get down, get down, and they, you know, like. Oh, yeah. My grandmother got, I think my dad pulled up, and there was 10 cop cars.

They was just going to crochet at the church house, you know. They were on their way to church. That's what I'm saying. And they were late. So, hey, I got to call some of my friends and law enforcement on that one. WMPD. Washington.

Oh, it was a joint task. Chase started outside the city limits, and then they were waiting on them when they crossed that line and just got them. Oh, yeah. The fact that it didn't make the news is the saddest part. Oh, my God. They ain't going to let that be no.

When did this happen? Oh, that was a while back. Probably six, eight months ago. Yeah. High speed Chase. Elbe and Louise, son. They don't got got going to church in a minivan. I mean

Oh my gosh Yeah, grandmother You don't mess with her But she still drives She's a blue minivan Probably Stick a clear That's hilarious

I love it Oh let me tell you something Go ahead You know that That sauce y'all been talking about Dubia Dubia What did you cook?

So Bullfrog killed Big Old dough Last week And I cut out that preacher meat, that inner tenderloin. Yep. And I got that, what's that thing called, that stamper?

The Japanese. I don't know, is there a name for that thing? With all the needles? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Meat tenderizer. It's a tenderizer, but there's another name for it. Anyways, I did that real good.

Put it in a bag through some of that W on it. Waited two days. Pulled it out. Well, you married just two days. Yeah, and then cooked that, that preacher made about $1.25 in the middle and sliced it up real thin. Son. And it melt your mouth.

Oh, it was incredible. It was incredible. And you didn't call me. And then yesterday, I cut me some pork chops about this thick. Uh-oh. I mean, they was, I'm thick, thick pork. In other words, you're talking about, hey, this is a piece of meat. I put them in a bag.

I poured that w on them, let them soak for overnight. I grilled them last night. Son. Stone, when was the last time you bought a piece of meat that wasn't like a hole that you had to cut up? No, no. Well, no, no, no, no, you don't want to do that. No, I'm saying, you buy, like, the whole ribby. Well, you don't buy ribbyes.

You buy, like, eight pounds of meat. He normally cooked for an army. If I'm cooking for a lot of people. Yeah, he cooks for an army. I'd rather, because, you know, no, tenderloin ain't cheap these days, you know, $120,20, but you can feed 10 people with it. So you figure that up, it's not that bad. But no, I'd much rather cook a whole piece of meat and then cut it up as opposed to individual steaks. But sometimes, like in pork chops, you need that whole portnoyant is good.

But if you cut them up in the thick chops and then brine them, because you want to brine a chop, you don't, you already dry out. So I use a little salt. I think pork chop ain't easy to cook. It's not. You want to cook. What's the temperature on pork chops? Where it's good.

I cook them to like 150. 150. Yeah. I stopped short of 165. That's right. Then let them finish on their own. Yeah, let them rest in a little Irish butter. Mm-hmm.

A little carry gold. Yeah, I remember the first time I cut into a piece of pork at some fancy place that was like medium. No, like medium. I was like, uh. Can we do this? Is this okay? Yeah. And they're like, oh yeah, that's how it's supposed to be.

You know, here I went. I took a bite. I said, you boys, I want to something here now. I'm with you. Like, I get it. You didn't peek your guts up? No, I would, no. It was, it was with Kylie, of all people.

Kylie, Tengla, Minnesota. The Minnesotans will eat some raw pigs. It was good, though. I was like, I didn't know you could do that. I didn't either. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you can cook pork to medium. Yeah.

Well, don't the USDA have certain temperatures? Oh, no. No, you can cook it however you feel comfortable. That's just a recommendation, though. Yeah. Yeah, but they say the same thing about steak. Oh, last time I'm old. Eating undercooked meat is bad for, you know, or it could be, whatever.

$1.45 on a pork chop. Yeah, I go $150 and let her rest. You know that time Rebecca made that chicken, and I think she cooked it to about $1.35. Willie cut into it and. See, medium rare chicken, I'm out on that. Blood just poured out of it. No, I'm out on. That chicken needs to.

No. I'm a medium plus, man, when it comes. No, I'm going to go ahead and you throw that W word in there well. What he said what? We'll say, what? All right, boy, just get on that bloody chicken. You don't want to foul up in front of him. No.

That boy got a memory like an elephant on mistakes. He don't ever remember nothing you did good. Not one. Not a single time. He remember every mistake you make. You give him the best thing he ever ate. He's going to forget that. I think that's a trait, a Robertson trait.

Selective memory. My wife is the same way. I give you wife, she doesn't got them peanut butter pies to a dead gum art. She made you another one? No, not yet. But all I got to do is ask, and she will.

I try not to be overbearing on that, but, boy, they are good. She made one for Si, he took a bite out of it, said it ain't much. Hey, I don't, I think, you don't like peanut butter. Hey. Hey.

I'm just saying, hey, I've had better pie. Okay. Fight. Right. If you want to flip the choices, no, he'll be coconut.

What did you say about farming? Or owls, owls cherry pie. Whoa. Whoa. Hey. Cream cheese. Okay,

that brings it back. A cherry pie over a peanut butter pie, though? No. No, he's talking about al's cream cheese pie. Hey, look, use the peanut butter pie

to put in somebody's face. Give me the cherry. It's a cream cheese pie with cherries on top of it. It's not a cherry pie. Oh, it's a cherry pie. No, it's not. Yeah.

And it's a fine. Because the first thing I do is I'm like, yeah, I want that pie, and I take them cherries, and I go, that's right. And then you eat the pie. He don't like cherries. Well, I just, you know, they're good in a pork chop or a porkloin, but that's about where that end. Oh, they are. Oh, and throw pineapple on top of that.

No. Or 100. No. Oh, yeah. Throw pineapple on. What did we just create here with pineapple's cherries and pork chops? Well, you leave them pineapples off, but you put them cherries inside a porkloin with some breakfast sausage. You got you something.

And some cream cheese. Oh, no, no. Hey, then it's all that. I go ahead and put some cherries and some shine and really good stuff. Yeah. I'm trying to get full, not drunk. Oh, no, hey. I'm having a cherry.

Hey, let's go both ways. Oh, here we go. It's because I threw it off the top of some ice. Let's get a little buzz, too. Here we go. We're going to go make an old fashion, and we'll be back, right? Yeah, there you go. Let's get out of here.

So, what did you do yesterday? Check my eyelids for penholes. that's not all I do you've been sleeping good lately that and watch westerns why does that he can't get off at grit that's right

he can't get off oh they know they got some new ones you know I should say not new I was gonna say there's new western movies that they're doing have you seen everything that they put on that channel

no oh so there's like stuff that you're like oh no no yeah it's new to me yeah it goes you know long time ago

I remember we used to go up there and go to Arkansas to go duck hunting. And then boys, the Morris has had satellite TV. Well, I ain't have that. And they had like encore westerns or something. So I was sit in front of that fireplace all day after we got duck hunting. And he knew every actor in every one of us. And they're in black and white. I'm like, how do you?

And that's four TVs got good. Like, I mean, it wasn't even that good of a TV. That's old Lee Van Cleve. That's so, you know, I mean, he just, but he would. That's what's funny you brought that up, no. See? My wife has got hooked on these spaghetti western. Uh-oh.

Chris ain't that. You sure it's not tacos? Oh, no. Spaghetti Western. That's a good one. It was like 10.30. We just watched a one on grit. A.M. or P.M.?

This is 10.30 at night. Oh. So we're normally. You're burning a midnight at all, huh? Yeah. No, no, yeah. We're normally in bed. I did.

You know, and that movie in, just 10.30, and here's, here's another start. I turned it off. I said, well, we're going to go to the house. She said, hold, hold it. This is the good, bad, and ugly coming on. She's holding, hold it. Well, that's going to take you until 2 a. Oh, yeah.

Tell me, no, no, we're going to watch this. You know, and I said, I want, she said, turn it on. We might as well, watch it. She said, I ain't been sleeping very good. I said, well, okay. So, y'all started the good to bad, and ugly at 10.30 p.m. Oh, yeah. Oh, so finally about.

Hey, 1.30, I get up to him. Hey, I don't seen this like a 50 times. Let me go get red. We used to watch that thing 50 times building duck calls. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. What was good was all the...

That middle hour and a half a much. The audio, all that, a guy did all that stuff with a guitar and his voice. Oh, yeah. One person. Yeah. The stupid guitar and all that. Wow. Oh, yeah, right.

You know, I'm talking about that. That was impressive, boy. I saw that guy doing that in the airport. Blundie. Saw a guy doing that in the airport? Yeah. Doing the thing from the good, bad, nothing. Well, I didn't see it.

I saw it on the YouTube. Oh, no, no. And he's, you know, it seems impressive watching him do it. There's a lot of sounds going on in that, you know. I just can't believe y'all started the good to bad and ugly at 10.30 p.m. Oh, no, hey, look. He's sleep all day. That movie long, though, man.

Oh, yeah. That's a long movie. And the only part's worth watching are, like, the first 45 minutes than the last hour. That middle section is rough. Yeah. It's a little slow. That's because that's the bad. Yeah.

It's the good. Yeah. It's the bad, and the end's ugly. There's two types of men in this world. Those were shovels. And those? With guns Dig

Those who dig Right One-liners Them movies Some of them movies Had the best one-liners There are Oh man

Why do they call it Spaghetti Worms and buzzards got to eat Yeah Buzzards got to eat Same as worms I saw the worms Y'all's had that full

You gotta stop at seven seconds Otherwise we get Copyright flag That's right boy That's that one That's the old man, do they? Look at there. He did that with his mouth?

It looked like it. No, no, I'm serious. It's crazy what that... He looked like Sye. What that guy can do? That makes sense, actually. Yeah, he looked like Sigh. It's pretty impressive.

Yeah, it was impressive. So, Sassad, what is your favorite movies? All time. What is it? Great, favorite. No. You don't have one? Too many?

There's too many. But if you're like, you go at home right now and you want to watch something. What is it? I'm just curious. Put it on Channel 81, grit. And just see what happens? Play Russian roulette. 80.

See what's coming on? Channel 81. They got to, what, the Tales of Wells Fargo, starring Dale Robertson. Oh, your cousin? Well, hey, he's related somehow. But hey. Oh, cousin Dale.

That's good. Tales about a bank? Nope. Wells Fargo. They run a stage coach in the old days. with the boxes, you know, strong boxes. And they had a bad record of stages being held up. Thiefs everywhere.

What would you? What would you? Things everywhere, boys. Let's pretend for a second. This is 1842 and we're out somewhere on the plains of New Mexico. What would your job have been? Bartender. Yeah, yeah.

No. That's exactly what. Oh, 100%. He'd have worked in a sense. saloon. It would be. Because he ain't got a mean bone in his body, so he ain't going to rob nobody. No.

He ain't into law enforcement. He'd be in the entertainment business. Yeah. He'd be it at the saloon tickling the ivories or pouring the drinks. Mm-hmm. 100%. We're having a spelling contest. Telling stories.

Yeah. Sir? Rebuttal? No. He ain't got one. I'm just saying they may be right. Because as soon as they said that, you go, no? Well, maybe.

Well, well, now then, when did y'all get to talk? And I said, well, maybe I would have been a bartender. Yeah, 100%. I always figured I'd been a young gunman that come in and get killed right quick. That would have been me. Wouldn't have been fast enough. No, you avoid conflict at all costs, though, so that ain't you. I've seen you are very fast on the draw.

Yeah. I've seen that. That's why you'd have been a good bartender. You'd have had that pistol under the cabinet. So if somebody came in there trying to get foolish, you'd have been all right. Yeah. But it's going to take them acting foolish to get you stirred up. It would have been a pistol. It'd been a shotgun.

A little solid off. Yeah, a little solid off. 20 gauge. Yeah. And you'd have been running a poker game over in the corner. That is. With my back to the door. Mm-hmm.

Let's take a break. We'll be back right after this. Let's get in that inbox. Johnny D. Hello at duck call room.com. I don't have a lot of questions today, but I have some funny things. You got some statements? I got some statements.

I like statements. Funny statements. Tony, you didn't tell me not to use your name. Tony from San Diego. San Diego. San Diego. That's Spanish for, never mind.

No. I can't say that. Can I? Okay, I was making sure. The people that got it, already got it. Yeah. They've seen Anchor, man. If you're not 17, don't watch it.

It's against the rules. Tony's 34 years old, and he's been suffering from hemorrhoits for the last six months until Uncle Si cured me. Uh-uh. No way. No, he put Vicks there? I got this 32 minutes ago. As funny as it sounds, and it's an embarrassing topic.

He doesn't like going to the doctor for anything, so he tried everything over the counter. Nothing seemed to work. And then he heard Uncle Si talking about it. And look at Si. Look at him. I'm just saying, hey, if you got them, and they're bothering you in any way,

way. My mother used Vix Vaporub for home remedy cures on everything. I mean, how do you not shoot through the ceiling

when you put that there? Oh, no, no, look. I mean, I would feel like I'm a NASA rocket getting ready to,

well, no, no, no, because if, yeah, if they're, you know, raw,

well, you, oh, it's going to burn. Okay, but look, but look, hey,

if I have, A situation where they're not raw that they're bothering you? Well, I'm just saying, hey, if you've got something that is bothering you, okay, and you've went to the doctor and they can't help you, okay, you've tried all the remedies that you get across from the people that sell all this junk. Tony backs them up. And then somebody says, hey, look, you know, I've got the cure if you want, you know, if you'll use it. So in a perfect world, your toolbox would look like a can of WD40,

a roll of duct tape, and a jar of paper rope. And you pretty well, oh, and probably some BC powder. And you'll never. You can take on anything. Like what else you need? Hey, look. Yeah, when I was growing up, my mother, what, it was castor oil, okay? Epsom salt.

Epsom salt. Okay, and fixed vaporote. If you had a sole throat, hey, rub some fix vapor up on your chest and your throat. You know, even take a little bit and swallow it. So what did you use for an applicator? Huh? Well, here's... Phil got into this one where this was all coming about.

And I said, hey, you use a teaspoon. And then throw it away. Okay, no. you use a teaspoon, get it out of the Vix Viporub container. Throw it. Okay. And then you take your finger, okay, and get you enough on your finger. And then the application.

So the fingers, the application. Yeah, application. Don't put your finger in the Vix vapor rub. No, no, no double dipping here. There ain't no double dipping. Okay, you use a teaspoon, you get it, you know. So you're saying, I'm just saying.

It's like cure hemorrhoids. It's a teaspoon of menthol cream. Swipe on your finger and shove it up your rear ear. That's right. Apply it, okay, and I'm going to tell what. And then tie a rope from your leg to whatever piece of furniture you're around to keep you from going through the seat. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Look, and if you're having problems like your stool is too hard, okay, hey, you'll be like a submarine. Fire a torpedo one. It's gone. That's got hurt. No, it ain't going to hurt. Hey, I'm just telling you, if you've got hemorrho, it's bad, okay?

Then apply fix vapor up to it, and hey, if they're itching. Does it burn? Yeah, yeah. Is it like, remember when you get chafed, like in junior high football and you put the stuff on and just burn like the level? No, no, look. I just slept naked. Look, no, look, look, anything, okay, because if you take a, a, hey,

container of Vic's paper up, open it. Okay? It's like gasoline. It's fumes. And you're putting that? Oh, yeah. But hey, I'm telling you, okay, if it it's it'll stop it. Okay, if it's painful, it'll stop it.

Okay. But does it bring more pain to subdue the pain? Nope. Because like I said, if they're raw, if your emmeros are raw, you put it on, well, of course it's going to burn. He said if you got bad hemorrhoids Has there ever been somebody that said, Oh, I like my hemorrhoid.

Well, no, no, I'm just saying If they're bothering you all the time, if all you ever hear is, go, well, my hemorrhoids are killing me. And I said, hey, idiot, take a little Vic Vaporub Put on it and it'll stop. Tony, confirmed. Then I'm going to look at you and say,

well, hey, then suffer, you idiot. You deserve to suffer. If you want to try it, just go ahead and put up with it. Tony backs him. Tony says thanks Uncle Sive for sharing your misdum. Go with it. All right, next.

I'm done with hemorrhoids. I hope I never. All right, well, we're just going to stay on the craziest stuff I've heard today. Look at this new duck call room fan. Right there. Hey, that's what's up. There you go. We got a brand new one.

Little Buffalo. All right. You know what that kid's name is? Silas, please. We named him after Uncle Siam. because he is a man of God, true, veteran and outdoorsman. Amen. So there's a new Silas.

He's a baby. I'm not going to say his last name, but he's from Kentucky. I'll just say he's from Kentucky. Well, here's the deal. Young man, you're fixed to be traveling. Why's that? Because, hey, Silas was, the name comes from the Bible. It was Paul's traveling companions.

That's true. Hey, all I, my mother said, hey, I feel like I didn't have. be very long and I said well it's your own fault you name me after Paul's traveling compagrant I've been on the road ever since well you know there's another baby named Silas yeah just into the world it's and his last name is Robertson David Silas Robert Jayce's his grandson oh Reed named his yeah read named that that child Silas Reed reads reads Silas David Silas and they're going to call him sigh and they're going to call him sigh whatever

poor kid they make him glasses and baby signs oh yeah there is another that was in Tennessee isn't it he could be friends with this side they're moving back here directly I didn't know that yeah they're moving back in a minute well there's another sigh in the world

praise me also the craziest thing I've ever heard and then Dane, Dane sent this picture in. Burley? No, another Dane. And just because we've been complaining about the weather a lot lately. He kind of looked like Burley.

He's from, Kanata. Canada. Canadian. And it's negative 47 degrees. No thanks. But why? But why is it negative 47?

No, why are you outside? I don't, I mean, you got to go out. outside at some point. How are you going to work? Does that snow or ice? I think his beard is just naturally frozen from walking to his vehicle. Yeah, breath. Just breathing.

Just breathing his frozen. Okay. Ooh. Negative 47 from Canada. Aside when we were in Minnesota, ice fishing. It was negative 22. Double it. No, no.

When I landed in Anchorage, when I went to Vietnam, it was minus five. 40. And I was in khaki uniform. Mm. And that was when they didn't have the gate that you pull up to and the thing. I used out there on a tower, man. Oh, no, no. You walked down the stairs and then walk in the deal. Well, I think it was bad. It was comfortable. Did you job?

Oh, no, till I got inside. Then I just grew up and creep. That's where the grizzly bear met me. 14 foot, 40-mounted grizzly bear was standing behind a wall around the corner. and when I walk around the corner he's like this and his claws looked like, you know, Dave was that long. You know, full amount.

And I like that in a heart of time. I'm serious. A group. I like that. God love it. Johnny D. Send us out of here. I got us the first.

James 117. I don't know what you find a good and perfect gift. It could be Vicks Vaporub to heal all things. For him, roars it is. But every good and perfect gift, is from above coming down from the father of the heavenly lights who does not change like the shifting shadows everything good you got it's from the lord and he has been the same since the beginning of time and he will always be the same if you don't know him look into him amen

because he is the light of the world