Duck Call Room - Uncle Si is Intrigued by This Humiliating Rumor About Him

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Uncle Si is the subject of another internet rumor, but this one he finds truly hilarious. Martin and Si get into over fantastical creatures, which Si jokes were the catalyst for human evolution. Phillip loved going on the Duck Commander Cruise because of the 24/7 buffet and Phil Robertson loved having a “captive” audience, but Si had a big problem with the whole thing. John-David stuns and intrigues the boys with the swimwear he swiped from Willie and the wager he makes to show them off. Listen to the ENTIRE song we ordered for Uncle Si: https://spoti.fi/4arKi9m - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm falling size lead. And sometimes you'll end up on the dead end road with lots of questions. Are you putting in eyepups? The red dirt road. Are you sick? No, this is from a LASIC surgery. You got LASIC? Did you do that?

Well, I had it a few years ago. But I had it. And you're just now recovering? Well, I had it several times. Lysic surgery on both eyes. Then I had to go back in and get reconditioning in both eyes a few times until my eye doctor said, you don't have enough retina left for us to do anything. Well, sorry, yeah.

Was that expected or unexpected? That was unexpected. No, no, but my doctor said, we're going to do it one more time, but it's going to be, it's going to hurt. What? Yeah. Well, you asked me about my eyedrops. Well, you were just doing eyedrops right before we started,

and you said, no, I just had LASIC. And you're like, yeah, seven years ago. That's why I do it. Oh. Because I had LASIC. I didn't know you had such wacky eyes. I mean, I've looked into them before and they didn't seem wacky. So I hit him for me.

I'll pay you back later. I just had Lacey's eye surgery, so I have to use eyedrops the rest of my life. You're out of retina? What is that? No, it's like I don't have enough cornea in the back of my eye, you know. You ran out of eyeball? Just a little bit. So they just kept shaving that sucker down until there's like.

I thought all we can do. It's like taking your eyeball out and rubbing it on concrete like a black top, you know. That's what it felt like. You know, in Jim Carrey? Oh, and I could smell it. When they shot the laser in my eyes, I remember you told me when you had your surgery, you were like, oh, yeah, you felt it. Thank you, Jesus for good eyes.

I didn't feel it. I thought you said you felt it when they cut your eye and pop. Oh, no, I had to apologize to the doctor because he was telling me there is no pain involved. Yes. And what I called him? a bald-faced liar right to his face. I said, hey, you're sitting there with a straight face and telling me there ain't be no pain involved

and you're going to bust my eye lens. Bus it. Lire. I think that's a medical turn. Hey, Doc, I owe you a apology. Didn't hurt. Hey, no pain. So are you?

It was like a trip to the twilight zone is what it was for me. That's an everyday life for Christine. Oh, no, no. Hey, it was weird. So, so are your eyes? Because you're a young man. Yeah. I can see good.

You can see good? You're not like in trouble of having major eye problems later. Nope. Okay. I can see good. Perfect. You just got to have eye drops for the rest of my life. Yep.

I just got to have those eye drops for the rest of my life. Which I made the deal. I was like he's got to wash them all the time. Do you ever touch your eye like Jim Carrey did and move it back and forth to gross people out? No. I did that as a kid. Can you still do it?

I don't know. I can try. Don't try. Oh, no, no, no, no. Your finger's dirty. No, no, no. No, no. No, no.

No, no. He had a friend that used to take it. Don't do that. Hey, no, I'm serious. I had a friend that used to take him out all the time. Take his eyeball out? Oh, yeah. A glass eye? He had a glass eye. The 40s were different, man. Oh, no, no. And look, it was, it was such a hoot every time he'd done it. Well, the car said, oh, my eye hurts my. He says, oh, it's okay. Oh, it's okay. I haven't had any friends. No, no. Everybody would be just, whoa, whoa, what can we do? What was he said? No, no, it's okay.

See? Your eyes are very important. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to watch them. Take care of them. Not like your brother, Phil. He didn't take care of his eyes very good. Okay.

The medical people have, oh, my goodness. Have they, you know, they used to be in the stone ages. Now they've, you know, they've gone into space. Yeah. All medical stuff. Not very often. I don't have a lot to add to a conversation. Well, you never had eye surgery.

No, you have had surgery, though, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah, most of them below the waist. Oh, boy. My upper tier stayed pretty clean. I put on reading glasses the other day. But the only reason I was listening is because Brittany is supremely interested in LASIC. So that's why I was listening to what I may have to be dealing with.

Would you do it again? Yes, I would. And my wife is fixing to do it. I would just fix it. If you're having trouble with your eyes. She's not having trouble. She just don't want to wear contacts anymore. She's over.

She's over contacts and glasses. Yeah. But then they told her, like, that it's only good for, what, 10, 15 years, something like that? Well, yeah, that's why. I had to go back and get some reconditioning on my, but now, look, I'm 53 years old, so I do have to have reading glasses. But, I mean, I would have to do that anymore. You get those ones like my dad that click between your eyes. Yeah, the clickers.

Yeah, I like those. Yeah, they sell them right beside the rest of your, honeyhole. The old dudes love him, man. I like them. I like them. I'm starting to have friends that start to like them. I'm not going to have a side show. Okay.

They want to do our glasses for a side show. Well, let's not get ourselves. Willie the other day sent his new assistant down the street to get a pair of reading glasses. So, ain't nobody's young as any. Willie's going to be the kind of guy that has them and ever. I put on reading glasses other day, like the lowest strain that I was like,

hmm, this helps. I don't like it. I didn't like how it helped. I don't want it to help. Putting these back. I've got reading glasses in my vehicles and also in size vehicles in case I need to read something while we're on the road. Man.

But you would do it again. I wouldn't. My sister had got it in high school because our eyes were so bad and she walked outside and she thought trees were like when you draw them, just a big blob on top of the stuff. Oh, yeah. And she saw them. She had never seen the individual limbs and leave. My sister had never seen that until she had last.

Well, yeah. And like she saw it walking out the door. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And she's never had to go back. I don't think of cataracts. I was literally going blind and didn't know it. Everybody else knew it.

Yeah. Well, I'm serious. Your glasses were very great. No, he's driving. Hey, I saw, for the first time, I saw pine needles up in the tree. You know what I mean? The individual needles. And I was like, whoa.

Wow. That's wild that people, that, yeah. Well, no, no, that's what the thing. I guess I take that for granted. That's weird. I mean, that's weird. I always, I went in the eyed doctor probably six months ago or so, and I told them I needed glasses because I thought my left eye to me is trash like and then so they said all you know

whatever would give you a vision test and then I went through it all and the doctor was like why are you here I was like because I can't see out of my left eye he was like do you realize everybody in that lobby out there would kill to have your left eye what was your vision yeah it was still 2020 is what it tested 20 20 20 that was like but my left eye is trash to me like I was told by the here you know it causes you that? What? Birthdays?

Yeah. Oh, wow. I was told by the hearing doctor, he's, your left ear is, all it's good for is hanging glasses on. Yeah. Did he really? No, upstairs. He said, you know, you ain't got nothing here and why in your left ear.

He said, all it is, it's good to hang glasses on, you know. And he said, now that you don't need glasses, that is used to. That's why you always sit to the right of Christine. Well, no, no, no. No, my mama had that. My mama had that right when she, you know, talked to him to daddy one day. And she said, he said, you know, you didn't hear me. And he said, oh, I heard you.

And then she came up with Robertson and men have selective hearing. Okay, they only hear what they want to. That's probably all men. Don't we all? You can take gender out of that one. That's just the human race. Yeah. A bunch of selfish suckers.

What's that? Selfish people. Biblical, man. It's biblical. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know how we got on. You would totally do it again. That's interesting.

And Alicia's about to do it? She's about to do it. So I'll, yeah, I'll have a fresh cut I can tell you about it. So would you recommend, no, this is weird. I know, it's our podcast so wild. You never know. We're talking about LASIC for crying out of that. That's why we're in the leisure category.

Number two. Would you recommend like waiting longer like to the last spot since it is only like a 10 or 15 year to get it done immediately? No, I'm with Si. immediately. If you have eye trouble, yeah. All right,

go get it done. It's so nice, you walk out into the rain and you don't have to take your glasses off and, you know, clean them. I never thought about people

in the rain with glasses. Oh, yeah, and then here, we're living down here with all this humidity. I guess they fog up probably still a hunter over shaking his head

as he's looking through his glasses at our screen. So this is how we found out that I needed, that I had any eye problems at all. When I was young, my dad took me squirrel hunting. And he said,

he handed, me the gun. He said, son, shoot that squirrel right there. And I said, what squirrel? He said, do you not see that squirrel? I said, no, sir. He said, unload the gun and took me to the doctor. That's how I real. I just didn't know. That's why the saying came from, oh, you can't see the trees for the forest or the vice versa. Or you can't see the forest for the trees. Too close to your work. Well, you just, you know, like you told about. Yeah. Yep, no, couldn't see the squirrel. Hmm. That's interesting.

I just never have dealt with that. That's crazy. That's why I've told everybody since I've had cataract surgery. I've had guys, said, well, I've got it, but I ain't going to do. And I said, hey, look, you're stupid. You're being stupid. If you've got cataracts, go get them removed, and then you'll just welcome to a new world where you could actually see for crying out loud.

And look, I got something to, this is news breaking to y'all. This is the latest rumor about SIE off of social media in the internet. Oh, we got a new one? Yeah, it's a good one too. What is it? Are you all ready for it? Yeah, yeah. Sye has had a facelift.

Oh, the secret is out. Sire you had a facelift? Oh, the secret is out. Yeah, they lifted it completely off and then rearranged it. Where was that? that on social media they said sigh had a facelift

no I love it sigh did it hurt did the pacelift hurt no I didn't even know nothing about it oh I wonder if that's because you don't wear glasses maybe it's got to be that and maybe you can see more of his face now

I looked up sigh had a facelift on Google and what did it say it says Martha Stewart addresses critics who say she has had plastic surgery I don't Were you with Mark? Arthur Stewart. I'm going to have to Google Cy Robertson.

If you were, I'm jealous because that means you probably was Snoop dog. No, I was with. Paul a Dean. That's true. We cooked a pie. I'm more of a pioneer woman kind of fell in the cell. Hey, we went there, but we didn't get to meet the lady, the woman. Well, we're trying.

After that winding road, the segment one. Hey, leisure, baby. Wait, are you coming to Oklahoma? Huh? In Oklahoma, the woman, cook her? Yeah. We met her. She's got a name, and it's the pioneer woman.

Don't say. I know, but I wanted to get her on the phone and talk to Johnny D, but I didn't get a chance to do that. No, don't say you ain't met her. Well, we met her, yeah. We went there and she had come to the table. Everybody's got a celebrity crush. And asked, well, the food, okay? And I said, no, it's horrible.

That's true. You call yourself a cook? You bite your tongue. She loves her. She red-headed, too. I love it. all you got to do is say something and get somebody

and they get open out of the shape I don't you can say what you want about many humans but you can't say things about the Pioneer woman sure I can't she's off limits hey no sure I can't

I can say anything about anybody that's probably if I feel like it yeah Martin get us to our leisure break I tried to you all blew right past it my bad blew right through it

we blew the break boys we gotta just George John. We crashed the gate. Have we already taken a break? I'd ask Hunter. Hunter, have we taken a break? No, we hadn't.

Let's take a break, Hunter. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedales beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good?

It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson would say, bye on the grill! Look, before we got Triedales, getting around. ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas.

They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbons on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living,

you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat me. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash.

Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Have y'all ever looked at the top charts of leisure? It is wild. What are you looking up? Top charts? We're number two in leisure, and I'm looking at all the other ones, and leisure is a weird podcast. What are you looking on?

On the top charts. On that silly cell phone? I mean, no, what chart are you looking at? Top chart. The top chart? The top chart. The top chart. A podcast.

We're number two. Did you Google it? In our category. No, it's just on the podcast. I got you. Go to podcast, go to top charts, and you click on Leisure. Sometimes we're number one. Today we're number two.

Those dungeons and dragons. Those, no offense, hunter nerds. People love dragons. Dragons are cool. Oh, no. The rest of them are like simple farmhouse life. How do you listen to a podcast about organizing called The Clutterbug? The Clutterbug?

How do you listen to somebody organize their home? I mean, you say what you want about us, randomly talking about hoax. If you're a harder, like Kay is that? You need to listen to that. Because that's who's going to sit. You know, Kay is going to be like that. You know what I got 45 minutes to do? Listen to about the clutterbug.

Not clean. There's the frugal friends. Now I like that. I could probably be a guest on that one. Tales from the dragon. That's fine. The stinky dragon. The funky smelling dragon?

Stinky dragon. That's terrible. That sounds like something you get a name. I just seen a commercial by that. What? If you smell funky, you get chunky or something. What?

I said it was a commercial. Then, buddy, I must think. Oh, no. Oh, no. Because it said if you smell funky, you get chunky. Was it chunky or skunky?

I think it was skunk. Did you dream this last night? No, no. This was a commercial. There's two podcasts about decluttering. Sorry. If you smell funky, it gets skunky. That's what it is.

That's what the commercial said. Was it about whole body deodorant? It was about smelling funky. You don't think that's a brilliant idea? Just a body wash that's also deodorant. I don't know. We discussed this in Link on the last episode. I'm sure you listened.

But yeah, the Leisure category is either all like dragons or wolves or board games or I'm going to call them 27-year-old women. Well, that's why they won. Stay-at-home moms. We need a dragon. You have weird hobbies. The dragons are cool. I've got a dragon.

And us. I got a dragon on my nap. I used to have one on my jacket that was silk. We heard about that. A fire-breathing dragon. That's back in your day. Oh, that was the day. That's what got me my woman, boys.

It's my fire-breatzing dragon. That's what I'm talking. So don't knock dragons. I think dragons. are cool. I'll fix that they are. Hey, you can't do?

Don't be knocking dragons. Did dragons exist? Well, sure they do. Do? Or did? Hey, there's one right there. That's a picture. He's saying, such as the Black Panther.

Do dragons... Were dragons ever on Earth? Yes, dragons were on Earth. Fire breeding dragons. Interesting. How did you think man come up with fire? He caught him a firebreeding dragon. Yeah.

Tell me, hey. you know all the time all he had to do is just pat him on the head then he had him a fire I'm normally 100% team sigh on everything I'm going to disagree with you on this hold it I don't you breathe you

I don't you lost your mind black panthers yes dragons you don't but oh is your problem with the dragon or that they breathe fire they breathe fire oh I'm crushed and you just said there was like a T-rex sure there was

we need to investigate You say there's T-wicks but there ain't a fire-breathing dragon now You know what Now that you put it that way Yeah think about it Now that you put it that way

I guess a teradactyl could have breathed fire Right We need to research That would have made Jurassic Park 3 Way cooler if the Teradactyls breathe fire One and two Stay the same

Three That's a notch up But how would you breathe fire I'm going down this road Yeah, why not Glan. How do they make fire? We're going to need to call

the number one New York podcast. A fire breathing dragon has got gas in his gut. I think he's got to do is spark it boys and hey, there you go. So where does it spark?

How do you spark? The teeth. Take your teeth together. So they have metal teeth. No. If you hit anything hard. They could have. They could have.

I mean, it's just as likely they had metal teeth. as they breathe fire. So I'm just saying, I have a very strong doubt. I mean, if we're going to live in a fantasy world,

let's go. No, no. What it was is they had a bite of lava. Oh, okay. They ate lava and then.

That's right. And held it in a pass. It gave them a gut problem when they ate it, too. I'm going to need whatever you all are. Well, you should have walked in earlier. Whatever.

Hey, whatever we're on, give me another shot of it. Yeah, I'm, I love it. You pour me some of what's in that joke? It's just the joy of the Lord.

It seems like I'm entirely too sober to be here. It's 9 a.m. That's biblical too. That's the problem. Y'all won't be what way. Okay. John Davis, look up a Bombardier beetle and its ability to produce hot chemical spray.

My computer is still broken. The ability to breathe. fire. Wait, a bombardier beetle? Hey, oh yeah. No, it is not. It says no, it is not possible to actually breathe fire. Let Cy run with it.

What is your favorite extinct animal? What is it? The bombadier beetle. Is that extinct? I think so. Look, we don't have any answers. We're making this stuff up as we go. This is the worst episode ever for my computer to work last night

than not worked. I can't fact check it. Smack it around a few times. Didn't work. Anyways. My favorite extinct down is the six foot or eight foot sloths that used to roam the earth. Wait a minute. We still got them. No, no, we don't.

I guess we do. They're very extinct. Australia. Australia, our mates have got the sloths and trees over there. Mates. See? In your face, Hunter. Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. One out.

Put it out, call mad or go? Time out. Hey, put another sloth on the bar. I don't know a lot about mammals of the world. Uh-oh. Martin knows something. Are there sloths in Australia? He said six to eight foot sloth.

I understand that. But I say, no, Australia's got them. I thought this was like rainforest stuff. So I'm going to go with you. I think there probably are sloths. I think the only thing that lives in trees in Australia is like a koala. Well, there's one of, give me. but hey a sloth also lives in treats

I understand that I just don't think he's from Australia my favorite part of this whole episode has been as soon as I asked what everybody's favorite extinct animal was Hunter had one because he's not about it but this flaw Hunter's also the guy that hijacked a first date

conversation with a red panda so like why would this surprise you I mean this is not wait a minute there are red pandas there are red pandas they're called, what's the name of? Red panda? No, no.

What is the big red monkey? orangutan? Orangetan. There are, hey, look, there are sloths in Australia. Okay. In the Adelaide Zoo. There you go. Oh, in the Zoo.

Hey. Well, hey. In the zoo. I didn't hate to say it was in Australia. I just assumed that they were rainforest animals. That's what I thought of them. You are correct. Okay.

Well, where is the rainforest? Forest in South America. Okay. Central America. That's the only rainforest we got in South America? I think that's probably why it's called the rainforest. I'm going to say, they don't rain in any other forest?

Not year round. Okay, well wait, hold it, hold it. Hold it. You got to educate me now. You got to educate me. Okay. PBS, Martin. No, I don't.

What is a rainforest, Martin? There's a rainforest. Because I was under the impression a rainforest is a forest. is a forest when it rains. Yeah, it gets rain. Well, in that case, in that case, Philpott Road is a rainforest.

That's a gar. Hey. Nottingham Forest, also a rainforest. Yeah, I don't know. What is a rain forest? Y'all have blown my mind today. I'm so short-sighted.

Hey, we don't blow on fuses today, boy. But I don't, what, do we have a list of extinct animal? I'm not sure what, I mean.

A woolly mammoth. I know the, I know the dodo bird used to be here. He's extinct. Sabretooth Tiger. That'd be a cool one. Sabretooth Black Panther. Ooh.

Hey, could have been. Or that little squirrel from Ice Age. I bet he was tight. What? A little cartoon. You ever seen the movie Ice Age? It's full of a bunch of extinct animals. You know what?

For all the movies you say you like, like, come on grit. If you ever sat down and watched Ice Age, I think you'd be really. I hadn't had watched that. I think you'd be really happy. No, it's too cold. Or Moana.

Like if I were a modern-day movie character, I'd put him as hey-hey, that chicken from Moana. No, I want to be. The whole world loves him and they don't know why. No, no, no, no. I want to be a rooster. Well, he may be a rooster. I never checked up under him. What's the rooster?

Leghorn? Leghorn? Good answer. Hey, me and men. I said a hawk. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I like that one when he had a little hawk. He's talking about O.G. Looney Tunes. Yeah. I said, I said. Back when the cartoon characters smoked cigarettes. That's his kind of. Boy. Pay attention here, boy.

Yeah. Back when chicken smoke Winston's, you know. Now they just dance around and, you know, have dogs building houses and stuff. Beth just sent me the 50 extinct animals. Number one's a dodo. That's a dodo. And number two is a zebra. A zebra ain't extinct.

A zebra? It's actually... A zebra? It looks like a zebra. Apparently it's not a zebra. It's something else. Can you ride a zebra? You can 100% ride it.

Oh, a Wagga. Yeah. A pigeon? Uh-oh. What kind of a pigeon? The seat. Oh, African black rhino. I bet that was cool.

The golden toad. The passenger pigeon. He's kind of lame. 400 different types of monkeys. Hey, there's a duck. There's a duck. Ascension Craig. Have you ever killed one?

Martin? Uh, who? I don't know. Some type of dust. That's a loon. What I'm gathering from this, man, is birds have taken it on the chin. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Birds and reptiles. Yeah. And fish. Oh, that's a medium. I thought that was hunter sloth, but that's a medium-sized lemur. A medium-sized lemur.

Medium-sized. I'm officially team woolly mammoth. Put your favorite, if you're watching this on YouTube, put your favorite extinct animal. I've got a new favorite extinct animal. You do? The snake with legs.

A lizard? No, a snake with legs from the Garden of Eden. Oh. Satan? Hey, a snake with legs. But he ain't extinct. Well, that snake with legs. One day.

Oh, yeah, now he's just a regular. That was a distant cousin. I was a distant cousin. Oh, small Mauritian flying fox. I bet he was cool. We've lost Martin again due to... A flying fox. Now he got me.

Now I'm back trying to just re-examble. A list of biology on his phone. I'm trying to reconnect my brain wires now. Due to it, torrent frog. A what? Due to it, torrent frog. I like the reunion owl. That's kind of cool.

He's got a cool name, the reunion owl. There's a bunch of giant tortoises that ain't with us anymore. I guess turtle soups are real fun. So there's a flying fish with a mustache you'd like. Right. Grasjo marks. Who? Grasio marks.

Do you really? I think a great. thing to do. I can't get off of this list. I want Si to watch children's movies and report back. But after seeing that, when we were in Mexico, Brittany did, I did pay $20 for her to get a picture taken holding a ringtail lemur. That's kind of cool. There's only $20? Yeah. Guy come walking down the beach with him on his shoulder. Apparently it's a

hustle. I need a pet monkey. Then a guy walked up with a big old snake and all the women scattered like you ain't seen lately. I wouldn't do it. I've got a question. I've got a question. talking about paying for some stuff like that. In the Bahamas, you and Godwin got your hair braided and like a Jamaican braid. Remember that? Mm-hmm. Was that expensive?

Yeah, it was expensive and it hurt because I ain't have no hair anyway. Yeah, I was about saying, how did you get your hair braided? I don't know. It was cool looking. They pulled it tight and then the lady was like, that's 160. I threw like 50 bucks on it and walked away. It was like, huh? For 40 minutes, you ain't getting 160.

sorry um 160 bucks that's what she said for a haircut that's why i do all my own hair it ended up being a haircut by the time i got all them rubber bands up my hair that's bad deal there there's pictures of yeah there's pictures what was y'all thinking no we were drunk oh no that makes sense no jeff was doing it and i was like mad oh if jeff's doing it why not I know. I thought, man, this would be kind of funny. Take a picture of us all together. And then. Sai, what about Jep?

I think Jep paid full price. Yeah. Jep was like, well, he had money. Well, he had money too. Well, he had to write last name. He had that much since. What year was this? I don't know.

2013, probably 14. I don't know. It was on one of them cruises. It was on the Duck Commander Cruz. You were on the cruise, but you didn't get off of the boat. I didn't get off. Yeah. I got, I didn't.

I snuck out of that. I still don't know how. Both of them? Never went on a Duck Commander crew. Oh, you didn't go on it? That's wild. No. I know what a gar.

That was a gar hole. Actually, let's take a break. And I want to hear about the gar hole that was the Duck Commander Cruise, and people paid a lot of money to cruise with you. I love it. Philip found a 24-7 buffet floating. Hey, he's in. A Cardival cruise is nothing more than a floating C.C.

pizza. I loved it. Oh, Ceases is good. You can at least find something at C C C Cs. You're like, you know what? I'll go back on that. That making cheese pizzas at C C C Csys. So you thought the Duck Commander Cruises, I didn't get to go because I made up excuses and got out of it. A big boat. Okay, it's huge. A very big boat. Okay, and they're very big. And we went from one end to the other end and back and forth. Lots of walking. And they like to kill me. And Sa was doing a lot of meet and greets and events here, there.

That's why it was a car. But I liked Storytime when Martin and Godwin and... Oh, yeah, we read to all the kids. Being Godwin read like good night stories to the kids or something. That's kind of fun. What? We were entertainment on the... I don't know.

Cruises, they're just not my thing. You're very captive audience. Yeah, I don't like that. Two captives. Yeah, I don't like that. And I thought it may be different when you're the entertainment and not just visiting. No, it's not. It's no different.

No. The only difference was we had security guards. Like we had a whole floor of the boat to ourselves, basically. So we had, which I mean still, that didn't make them rooms no bigger. That's the problem with the room. It's a very small room. So I had a pretty good size. And I still can't shake Titanic if we're being honest.

I mean, you know. You were afraid of icebergs in the Caribbean. Not icebergs. I'm just saying, how do they make that much metal float? it don't make much sense to me. As a man who understands physics and mathematics, it is still... Turn it over, upside down.

It's just weird. Like them Air Force aircraft carriers, how do they store that much stuff on metal that flows in the water? I don't understand. It feels like it should be heavy enough to sink. And it feels like it should go straight to the bottom. And you're living under water.

I ain't doing that. Oh, no. You are. No, I'm top deck. no yeah they're made to the Lido deck yeah I think that was the top one I think so I'm I'm definitely

as high up as I can get yeah I ain't going down most of it is underwater what most of it's not underwater that's an ice bird no not a cruise ship that's a ship no I'm pulling it up I don't have a

pull it up check it out and see cruise ship there's a lot of underwater there's a lot but you said most I like it because I all the stories. I mean, there's a lot of story times. And then there was a lot.

What are you looking at? How much of a cruise ship is underwater? Half of it. What did it say? Around 10% of a cruise ship is below water. Which that doesn't feel like enough. Now I'm nervous. See?

Yeah. All right, yeah. There's never going to be a duck call room cruise. I will say. We would all panic. No. No. We should do it.

No, we shouldn't. But just like on a pontoon boat. That's called a booze crew. On like Caney, That's something way different. I think low-key Phil enjoyed it. Oh, 100%. Because Phil had...

Phil Mcill? No, Phil Robertson. Whoa. Well, Phil, yeah, I think he did too because he baptized 500 people. That's true. Phil had a floating baptistery and 15,000 people that couldn't go anywhere. He had a captive audio. 1500.

Or however many, I don't know. Si, what was it about the cruise that you didn't like? Was it too many people? Because you were going from event to event to event every day. He worked every day. Well, no, no. So that's what it was. I wouldn't mind.

I wouldn't mind doing what I've done. It was getting there. They literally, we went from one end to the other back and forth. Hey, just make it one place. Right. Oh, that's before size swallowed his pride and started requesting them wheelchairs everywhere. If you could have rolled into them places, he'd been a right. He don't walk nowhere now.

Yeah, if he'd have been treated like he's in the airport right now. Wow. Yeah, that's true. I can see that. We need wheels at Gate B-24. You're wheeling in the airport now, aren't you? Oh, yeah. I don't walk anywhere because I think.

The Mexican customs got weird the other day for me. Why? I didn't read the rules on the amount of tobacco you could tell you. Hey, Willie. Willie, I thought I was going to get arrested. Oh, this is dip, right? Mm-hmm. So what happened?

He just, he really had a question that I would dip that much in five days. I said, buddy, I'm here with nothing to do. Yes. Half my job when I worked for Willie was just to be his secondary dip hoarder across. I don't know if Hunter is comfortable with leaving this in there. No, I love, here's what I do. Because in the airport, all I do is watch. Yeah, because I'm pushing him.

Yeah. What else you got to do? Well, no, no, but I'm just saying, and, hey, I can believe some of the stuff that the human beings are worried. Or then, buddy, you don't need to go to a Mexican beach. Oh, no, no, I'm serious. Because apparently inflation has got bathing suits, too. Twice as expensive and half as much of them. They're treating them things like Christmas tree cakes.

They just keep getting smaller. Everything is a string now. Oh, God. I'm serious. And the human being keeps getting bigger. It don't make any sense. That's true, too. Yeah.

There are way too many people shopping in the Husky department in Speedos. That's all I'm saying. I have a duck commander, Speedo. I'm glad we never seen it. Real tree. For real? Real tree. Camouflage no left.

100%. Will you please wear that? No. Why not? Every once while I'll break it out as a joke, like on vacation. If we're at the beach, I'll just pull it out the bag and be like, hey, Allison, this is the suit of the day. Whatever thing is going wrong? Break out that. Why do I want this?

The duck commander speedo? Yes. Somebody sent it to Willie, and I showed it to him. He's like, that's ridiculous. And I was like, totally mine. I'm going to sell it. on eBay one day. Used.

Before you put it up, holl at your boy. It may save you a transaction fee. I for sure have it. I have a picture of it somewhere. Praise B. Hunter, would you wear it? It wouldn't fit Hunter.

It's our size. Oh, it's okay. It's big boy size. This computer thing's got me all out of whack. Hunter, just go ahead and show this to the people and just let them all know that it belongs to me and I could break it out at any moment.

And it's for sale for the right price. Also, it will not belong to me if somebody offers me probably like a hundred bucks. Martin, you got a hondo on you? Not after this trip. He said, no, that's this trip. I'm going to have to recoup some funds. He just went up on all the stores products. I keep waiting.

I keep looking. Oh, sorry, I said it to 100, too. Oh, I know. My bad, my bad. There ain't a picture of him in it. It is? Yeah, look at your phone. No, it's right.

He just got the, yeah. Oh, my. Would you wear that? Goodness gracious. Front of it says turbo. I wish it was in Max 5, then I'd wear it. You think they have the jucton position of the tree branch right in the middle? I think that's a little spot on.

Thanks for the edit. That's rich. Oh, it's got a white under. No, we can't share that. All right. Anyway. Yeah, change the subject. Let's take a break.

We'll be. Thank you. All right. Hey, hold on. Let's get, come on. Roll. We're not reading. emails? Let me say the picture. We're going to see. We went to break and we're all looking at a picture of a duck

commander speed out. And Martin saying, what is the bid, boys? Martin said 50 bucks for me to wear it for an episode. Do I have to wear it a whole episode? Well, I mean, you'll add a hundred. That's 150. You can put shorts on over it. I'll, I don't, I'm saying after you walk in. I just had to walk in. Just walk in. Stop right here. Hold on, Beth's giving us look. Beth said, I say you just walk in and show it. No, Stool may let me see Little John or something. I ain't trying to, no, we ain't, I'm just looking for. Well, Robin Hood had a friend named Little John.

I can't tell you, and he's a big old boy. But, but. Anyways, Johnny D. What's up to 150 right now? I'm just saying like you walk in. Hey, I'll put 50. That's two hindo. How about?

Two hondoes. I got 200 bucks. Now it's four then. You putting yours in? You put $2.00 then? The man wears a Rolex. Money ain't really his name. But if there were, I would do, I would take an ice bath in that speedo.

Uh-oh. On YouTube, if you raise money for something. How about the Sioux fund? Yeah, no, not doing that. You ain't doing that at all? For a thousand bucks, I would go, I would, I will, for myself, I will, I will jump in to an ice bath wearing just that speedo for a grand on YouTube for a grand

I'd do that for like 500 if it was going personally but you'd have to make like a full video like preparing getting ready no the video be made right here we'll buy one of them a hundred dollar ice baths off of uh we got a ice machine oh hey that ice bath is rough

I know I did one I just did one recently he's in too did you stay a full minute I made it 45 seconds but no you got to stay at the full minute yeah no for a minute Full minute. I'll do that in the Speedo. Y'all figure out the money.

I'll do it. In the Duck Commander Speedo. With what's on the front of it? A thousand bucks. I'm just keeping it myself. It says turbo. Turbo. It also has the duck on the front of it.

Featuring John D. in the Turbo. The only problem is I don't know that I can, I ain't got much of a butt, and I don't want to fall off. Well, and our ratings are going to go down. It's a family. show you weirdos. That's the end of leisure. I don't know. We got to swap categories.

That's right. We're going to switch categories. I'll definitely pull up wearing my pillow robe over it. I'll tell you that much. We used ours last night in the hot tub. He's going to be like a big wrestler. Come out and take it off.

And in this corner. Like the mass singer. Yeah. Take it off. Take it off. I just, you have no idea how much I wish I had that.

And then just went strutting down. in Mexico with that thing. Should have called me. I've never worn it. Oh, man. I had no idea that existed. I mean, there's no.

No, uh-oh. No, because I would have. You want an email? Yeah, let's email. Want email? You know, while on the subject of Speedos and leisure, someone emailed in with the head of subject line, parenting and religion.

Oh, well, that's a lot better topic. What an interesting podcast. Cody, no, Tanner from Cody. Wyoming. How about that? There was a lot of first names there. Wyoming's not one of them, but Tanner and Cody are. Just became a young father, 22 years old, and needing some direction on how to raise my son right in today's world. I've recently lost faith in the religion I was born into, but my faith in God has remained and gotten stronger.

I was just wondering if you thought being part of a religion is necessary for raising my son to have faith in God, Or if I need to go by myself back into a church proof, any in all answers, criticism, are welcome. I think you got something mixed up, bro. Run that? What was the end of that again? How did he say that again? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

He lost faith in the religion he grew up here. Well, hold on. I agree with him because I've lost faith in the religious world. Yeah, but it's not in religion. He's lost faith in the church he grew up in. That's what he's saying. Somebody heard him there. now he's upset. Now he's like, I'm just going to do my own thing.

Because look, religious people can lead you astray in all kind of directions, you know. So I would say, yes, seek first of all God and Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior. Because you could go into so many other directions, you know, and it's a danger, really. It's a good point. He said it the way he did because we've taken, the human race has taken the word religion and it's it's not what yeah it's supposed to be that's right okay so i understand when he said i've lost my i lost you know but here's but not in god he hadn't lost faith in god he says here's the thing okay that's why phil has been saying it for years get off of the name yeah get off of the name because there's too many of them right okay y'all and you need to

to simplify it, who established the church? Jesus did. Well, then, hey, they're able one. Right. Because they're able one savior. Yeah. You know, so I understand where he's coming from about he's lost his faith in what we call religion, the human race.

Because it's not what God is. Okay, it's three of them. God, the father, son, Holy Spirit and they're one in everything. Yeah. Yeah. So, hey, don't, you know, and you said it, sir, when you said, I haven't lost my faith in God Almighty.

Okay. So, yeah, I'm going to fail on that. We need to get rid of the name. And if people ask you, you know, what do you believe? I believe in the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. And I want to try and run with people that believe the same thing that I do. And I want to get my kids involved in some. church structure.

Yeah. And I think that's important to him. So here's my, the way he says it, or if I need to sit myself back into a church pew, I think he's like, I don't like church,

but I love Jesus. And everybody probably gets there at some point because the church is full of imperfect people. Yeah, correct. Jesus is the only perfect person. Even Peter and Paul

would have upset you at something. Well, that's why I should have said it clear. Okay. Don't push your faith in the people. but at the same time they're going to fail you right keep your faith in where it should be yeah father son

and holy spirit okay because they're not going to fail you yeah and at the same time you're a 22 year old new dad yeah yeah you're not going to make it by yourself big dog right yeah no you need those people like we have each other in our lives you need people in your life you need to tell your son

and train your son let him look at creation you know and tell him about, hey, the one that created it. Yeah. Yeah. And live his life for him. Because, hey, look, he's done everything for you.

Okay. So all you got to do is just focus on him. Right. Yeah. And so I think it's important, too, because you need to get those kids involved in Bible school, you know, learning and being around other kids. And you need to be around other young. parents.

Well, the thing about it is, okay, is like our education system. Look, the education system needs to teach it all. Yeah. Okay. They're not going to. That's the same thing about God. Give them, give it everything. And then, hey, let him decide.

But you teach him everything. Yeah. Don't limit it to, okay, here's, here's, here's the real. way and the only way. Okay. So, you know, just, you know, but hey, look, focused on the Almighty.

Yeah. Focus on the Almighty, but you need people around you. I didn't have, and if I didn't have people like Martin in my life and, you know, Martin might need some advice from me on some things because I had kids before him. Well, it ain't an easy route. So if the Bible says test

the spirits. No. To see where they're from? But it does tell you to also be in community. Don't forsake it. That's what I'm getting. That's, and I think, yeah, I think that's where Johnny D was getting at. Like, just because you got burnt by some church. Spurn in some church or some member of some church.

Disappointed you. Don't start making Facebook post about the one thing that you think you got right and everybody else got wrong. But what I'm saying, you need people around you. You need community. You need community. And whether that's in a church building or you start something at your house where on Friday nights or Saturday nights, you get.

10, 15 of your buddies and people that are in the same circumstance you are together. And y'all read the Bible and study scripture and come up with your own things of what you think it means. That's cool, too. It doesn't matter. Just do it. You can't do this alone. Can't do it alone. That's not do it alone.

That being said, Proverbs 3-5, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. And all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight. if you're confused about what you need to do open the Bible God's already talked to you and told you it's all right there our reading you'll figure it out amen we'll see y'all next time right here

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