Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Is Scarred for Life

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

Si really hates snakes. But when it comes to traumatic flashbacks, nothing compares to the horror of ... butterscotch ice cream? Confirmed: Martin is a snake-lovin' weirdo. Godwin serves up some common sense on snakes, and look out, Snoop, because Si's got a play-by-play of 50 snakes attacking an iguana. Martin has strong feelings about the worst thing you can do to a cookie. The boys get a look at the monstrosity known as the earwig. Si explains why his mean redhead probably won't be on the podcast. And Martin shares tips for how to get over shaky hands when you're hunting deer. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, welcome back, folks. We're in here for another episode of the Duck Call Room. Look, if you're tuning in on YouTube, we thank you. Also, don't forget to hit that subscribe button. Make sure you like this video. I don't think it makes that noise, but it is a cute little bail. Does it? It does.

Oh, yeah. Well, my phone's never been on anything other than vibrate, so I don't really know what sound. Yours goes... And if you're listening on a podcast app, if you want to see all the annex, go ahead and head over to our YouTube channel. That's YouTube.com.

slash duck call room. Here before long, instead of cross-posting to the Duck Commander channel, the Duck Call Room channel will be the only place you can see our podcast. And that is once again YouTube.com slash duck call room. All right. Before we get started, fans, you keep sending stuff in. And I'm just going to keep thanking you. So Mike from Idaho, you sent in some far candy.

It was... We got some Idaho specials. Key word being... was. If he was from Idaho, he should have sent us some potatoes. Potato. One of them. Oh, that thought. Mark and Kim sent us some Idaho spuds.

Hey, there you go. But the funny thing about an Idaho spud is there's not a potato involved. It is chocolate wrapped around a marshmallow with coconut all over. I loved it. Coconut's good. I'll get you one on our first break because that thing's good. If you like coconut, that thing's good. Oh, no, I need to buy me some of that instead of dip, like y'all dip all that snuff

junk, I just dip me a bunch of coconut. That's what you need. Something to make you nuttier. Now that's a dip, bear boys. A coconut? Just freshly. Could you imagine fine sugar with a sugar? That's what he needs.

You need a sugar. You're drinking that sweet tea? And I said, no. I don't ever need to drink sweet tea. Boy. I'd be bouncing off the wall. You'd be climbing trees. I do that anyway.

You haven't climbed a tree. Who was the last time you climbed a tree? trick. Hey, look, don't about that. No wait. Hey, no, no. One of my uncle was 84, and the limb broke, then was laying on top of his roof. The next thing happened, he's up there trying to get it off.

And his wife's always talking about, hey, you're going to kill yourself, old man. That wasn't Uncle FM, was it? No. No, he's too mean. He didn't make a tough of it. No, that wasn't FM. It wasn't a hell that was a Robertson. Oh, I got you. Al Robertson. Well, before we get too far, I want to continue to think of it. Bayside

Bev, that was what was on the return address. I don't know if Bev, I don't know if that's your real name or if that's like your user name. Alias. But thank you for the 10,000 calories worth the Little Debbie's you sent. So much little debt. And it was a variety pack. So I do thank you. The zebra cakes, in fact, made it to my house.

I'm a sucker for a zebra cake. My office is like a pantry now. And Dan from Pennsylvania hooked us up with those tasty cakes. What were they? It's a Pennsylvania special. The butterscotch. Butterscotch crimpets. Yeah, crampets or something.

It's what Pennsylvania people think Little Debbie should be. Well, guess what? Y'all said something, and then mom and dad was mad scientists in the kitchen, so they come up with some butterscotch ice cream that they made. Homeweight.

Your mom and dad? Oh, yeah. They cranking it, right? Well, I guess men feel cranking it. But anyway, they made it. Okay, and they're going to come get them bowl. I looked at it. I didn't even like the looks of it.

So I just took a little bite, no, it didn't mess out. They all ate a bowl, he made them six to the dogs. What was in it? Oh, hey, I don't know, but it was a bad batch. Really? Do not try butterscotch ice cream. That story with the exact opposite way. Well, hey, I'm just telling you, good stuff, hey, this was bad.

I mean, real bad. It made the whole family sick. I didn't eat another. I spit it out. It wasn't good. You weren't sick, though, huh? No. I didn't swallow it.

I just take you and said, I'm going to have to blame that one on the churner. No, it wasn't the churner. It was just bad mom and dad making mad science and stuff, and it didn't turn out no good. So perhaps that milk had done sired on your shirt. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't no good. I mean, it literally made everybody that ate the bowl full.

It made him sick of the dog. I will say, you know, we're here in the spring, but summer's coming, and I sure look forward to when Phil makes that homemade ice cream. That man can churn some whole. made ice cream. Phil makes ice cream? Oh, yeah, he does. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's news to me? Well, yeah, you've always worked up here. You never worked down at the house.

You never did work down there where we got the goodies. That's where all the vittles, where the duck commander 50 comes from. That's why these boys are the bigger they are. I weighed a buck, $7,000 when I started working here. How long have you been here, gobb? You can add about a buck 50 more. I know. Crank it on.

Well, that's what I said. It's usually we called it the Duck Commander 50, but in my case, there's a Duck Commander Honda. That's right. Well, you always have been an overachiever guy. You know, that doesn't surprise. But look, I mean,

what they don't realize is when we were down there, like when Kay hollered over that phone, it's lunchtime, that means it's lunchtime. You stampede, dude. You stop whatever you're doing. It was a stampede. And go eat.

And then she'd feed you something. So my problem was I'd have to hit it again. I couldn't just go. We always went back. You know, I was trying to figure out how Phil and Siah stayed like they did. Oh, no, okay. But they were smart. They'd make one plate, and they knew better to hit it again.

They just went to sleep. Okay. He's been trying to fat me up ever since I went on their first date with them. And it just ain't. It ain't happening. My metabolism, you know. But it's finally catching up. You're going to get in there, baby.

That was that black walnut ice cream, twink. It took her 70 years. Old age takes everything down. Hey, hey, I'm telling you. Everything, huh? All of it. Hair falling out, teeth's falling out. Belly's getting bigger.

All of it. It's a tough. Oh, you're just a mess, sigh. It's a tough go, boys. Well, you know, I feel you. You know, when I first showed up here, Phil looked at me and said, now just how old are you? I told him, well, I'm 25.

And he said, time has not been kind to you. That's right. I will say, I did not know your first name or your age for quite a few years. Yeah, there's still a lot of people that don't know. Horse head. Horse head, big head. Yeah. I was shocked to find out your name was Justin.

Yeah. What's your nickname there, J.D.? Me? From Phil? Yeah. Phil used to call me Owens. because that's what he called my uncle Mac when they hunted together. But now he just, since Willie calls me Johnny D, Phil calls me any name that ends in Y and then a letter.

Jimmy C, he's like, hey, Tommy C, Jimmy B. Tommy C, Jimmy D. I'm like, Phil, you've known me for 30 years. He's like, hey, good deal, Johnny, Johnny B. That was like the closest he ever got. Johnny B good, boys. One of my favorite ones ever was we were down there for Christmas. he looked at Jep and he was trying to talk to Jessica

and he said he was just looking at her and he just, you know, Jep's wife and I'm like, they've been married for 10 years at this point and he just fill in names, not something he's interested in. Nope. And grandkids come in and he's like, who's that? Yeah, which one you belong to? He says it's your grandchild.

He doesn't let people get too. You can't keep up with them. There's a bunch of them. Yeah, there's a bunch of them. So, hey, no, you can't keep up. You know our names, at least. For the most part. I'm telling you.

Names, no. That's why Phil. Phil's got a good deal, good system, though. He don't have to say, I remember your name. He just said, hey, you know, he gives you a name. Yeah. Hey, you. Hey, no leg.

Hey, no leg. Get your cameras on, let's go. Yeah. He gave me about seven of them. I don't, I guess now it's just Mark. But I had a few of them, Buster Crab, horsehead. Buster Crab. Yeah.

One day we'll call you Justin. That's overrated. I ain't been called Justin since about the, since I was about four. Like, ever since I started playing sports, you were just whatever name was on the back of that jersey. That's what you got called by. The man with two first names. Three. My middle name's Lee.

We'll go in. I got them all. Just the Lee Martin. Well, careful now. Don't be giving that my later base. I might go get on that scoremaster bag. No, no, I like it. Justin Lee Martin.

J-L-M, boys. Yeah. J-L-M. And Silas Merritt. That's right. And Merritt was who, Granny? That's Maul. Mall.

Yeah. And you didn't ever want to be with her. You never wanted to hear Silas Merritt Robertson. Yeah, that's not good. First name and she's pronouncing him with a little. Yeah, okay, you're in trouble. And we're in trouble. And we're surrounded by two John David.

Yeah. I forget you, John David, too. I just kept the whole thing. John David. Godwin. John Wayne and David in the Bible. Uh-oh, David in the Bible. Do you walk around with a slingshot all the time?

Yeah. Heck, yeah. Hey, we did. Is that why you're bow-legged? I'm serious, we did. You had a slingshot on you? Oh, what are you talking about? Yeah.

For what? Hey, we used to kill a lot of dubs with them. I don't think you're allowed to do that. Oh, that was back before that was regulation. Well, hey, nobody told me that. That's back before they's regulation. We used to, yeah, we used to kill them. The best dove on everyone on is I kill them with a 22 rifle off a high line.

And on that note, we're going to. Now, that is illegal there. 1932. But hey, the year, if anybody's wondering. The statute of limitations has run out. Yeah, that's what we're going to go with. That's what we're going with. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Well, my story is. Let's take our first break. We'll be right back after this. You're going to get us in trouble. We're going. Do you think people send us ice cream? All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man,

somebody had to run the grocery store. do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with

who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. look salt pepper garlic hot fire that's all you need look because i tell you what when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living you can taste the difference the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic so if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season go check out try tails beef i know in size case christine loves it which is just a uh she doesn't eat me yeah just go to try beef dot com slash that's try beef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.

You know it would be cool though Martin? What? If they would, the people that keep sending us snack cakes and candy bars and they're all their favorite snacks sent as ice cream. Ice cream. I do like ice cream. The butterscotch ice cream thing got me thinking. All right.

What's the favorite flavor? Of ice cream? Of ice cream. That's impossible. Cookie dough. Ducky dough. No, cookie dough. Oh, cookie dough.

Cookie dough. Godwin has a little hard to understand. That's why I'm here. I'm Godwin's closed captioned. He's translated, boys. There is a-it right here. So use a cookie dough man. I like cookie dough.

I guess when Paula cooks cookies, you're in there eating cookie dough, right? You better believe it. Now, I am under the opinion that the worst thing you can do to a cookie is add heat. That's exactly right. Well, I didn't know. You don't want to do that.

Big old glass of milk. You get them lobs of cookie dough. Yeah, you get them this pretty cut. And a big old glass of milk. Yeah. I'm trying to go green, son. I'm saving energy. You got to freeze them first.

So the worst thing you can do to a cookie is cook it? Yeah, don't add no heat to it. Just eat it. Yeah. Y'all going to get salmonella. Hey, no, no. That's why he looked like the Pillsbury. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Woo-hoo. I'm saying both of them. Hey, it ain't easy. Hey, both of you look like the Pillsbury doughboy. Hey, careful there, tubby. Hey, look at you, son. Well, I'm getting there.

You look like the Pelsbury doughboy the rough years. Well, no, no, because, hey, you know why? You know what ice cream I hit? Oh, black walnut. Walnut, baby. That's the best in the world. I've seen you dough pop some butter pecan, too. Butter pecan second.

But, hey, black walnut's the best. Just don't give him no butterscotch. No, hey. No, butter scotch. No, no, I'll just walk around, throw it out the back door. Here's the deal. Any time that you can take something and set it in front of a dog, and he smells it, turns his nose up it, and runs away, it ain't no good.

I ain't ever met a dog. I mean, I've had every dog would try it. The place in town sells dog ice cream. Dog ice cream. You can get, there's a problem. place in town called Eskimos and it is awesome and if you go through the draft through they have like a dollar pet dog ice cream. Have you tried?

I thought you had. No, my dog ate at once because I was like. No, no, I thought he was going to say they got the dog out there and they'll taste it for you before you eat it. No, it didn't. No. Eskimo. Back in the King days and the Renaissance time, they'd eat it before the King eat.

See, Eskimos is something. Fiffy looks funny. Eskimos is something totally different though. That's custard. Now, Eskimos is just good. It is. That brownie Sunday legit. I get the fruit all in mind.

The concrete stuff. Let's go. You ever been to Tennessee? Have I ever? Tennessee. A couple times. When he said he puts fruit in here, hey, it takes me to Tennessee, buddy.

They put it fruit in shine. Oh. And they got it down pat. Hey, I know I just went from ice cream to shine, but I can't happen. It's a family show. When he went from cold to heat. That's it. They are.

Literally, you'd take them like a cherries and chew it and swallow it, and it would literally just keep your whole throat and belly up going down. But we are talking about two things that are way better if they're homemade. Oh, there is. Ice cream and shine. Especially when they know what they're doing. I can't say I've ever made my own shine. I ain't either, but I've drank it.

But I have made my own ice cream. I tasted. It's got to be crystal clear as that right there. That glass. I ain't, I ain't do it. Then if you sniff it, you better not smell carousine in. Don't drink that. You should never drink anything that smells like carousine.

That's just a life rule. No, no. A lot of people that do shine puts carcine in it. Really? I'm telling you. Google it. Life was a lot. Well, I'm just telling you.

Cerosene and moonshot. It's like everything. I'm doing. I'm doing. The guy doesn't know how to do it. Caracine so you can drink it. Caracine. You got to remember something.

I married a Tennessee girl. So I've been all up around Knoxville, all of them East Tennessee Hills and Hollers and all that kind of stuff. I mean, I've had the chance to experience some of the finer homemade stuff you've ever had. Oh, no. What are you talking about? My favorite was when they put that cinnamon in. They call it like apple pie or something. It's good when it's homemade.

That stuff you buy it's a story. They put kerosene in it? I hadn't tasted that. The apple pie? No, yeah. I bet that is good because I like anything with cinnamon on it. Yeah, that's good. Because I eat just cinnamon toasts and sugar and stuff and butter.

Yep. Roll it up. Yeah, it's for real. Yeah, I had a little taste with the Knox County Sheriff Department. Now, that's when you got it down good. They were not. They's off duty. The law was going on it, J.D.

They's off duty. We was at the Tennessee football. We was at a volunteer football game. Shocker, swaller alert, Tennessee lost. That's just a joke I do. I got family that are up there. That's where you came from was them hills and hollers. I mean, originally.

I googled. Have you ever done the family tree thing and seen where you came from? Oh, I know. He just said something that you came from the Tennessee Hills? We don't know. What do you mean you don't know? He just said you came from there. Well, yeah, that's where it just, the line.

Well, that makes me we might be careful. folks, J.D. That would make sense. No, no. It would. Because we came from Tennessee. But that unfortunately means Corey and Willie are kids.

No, no. And Fitz. Hey. Dad would come down, you know, his folks come down and covered wagons. We went. I tried to draw back the Owen line. I was like, let's see what happened. And it's like about a hundred years ago, somebody was in Tennessee.

And they're like, oh, we're Owen. And that's it. They dropped that ass. Not a lot of family history. They dropped that S and said, By the way, if you put an S on the end of Owen and it's Owens, that's just not right. It's not a name. I know two John Owens, that's plural, I'm saying Owen.

Owen. Oh, yeah. And one of them got a hot duck hole. That's Mr. John, a farmer. And then there's me. And then there's you who's got a good tackle shop. So, I mean, I'm surrounded with Owens duck hunting and fishing. I think y'all going to be all right.

That Owen family would be fine. Nothing wrong with them. Nothing. We don't need no S. People trying to add it. They're trying to add it, boys. Hey, you know, you're talking about them coming down covered wagons, though. Could you imagine them them, them, covered wagons, and they hit that Mississippi River?

Hmm. You imagine that? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. They hit that Mississippi River and said, hold up now. Take the wheels off. No, no, no, look. Can we float it?

Yeah. No. When I went to Arizona to visit my mom and dad out there, Daddy was working out there. If you crossed the Mississippi, you went the wrong way. Yeah, but don't listen to me. They had the trail that they come down, okay. And I mean, you've got to think about how they lowered wagons, mules, horses,

and all this stuff. When they come to a big gully, it wasn't going around it. Through it. They go down, and they do this with blocking tackle and horses. and mules, and then two or three of them would take whatever, and meet them way down there somewhere. But when you're looking, you know, I'm looking at, wait a minute, they put wagons and stuff down here.

I mean, they crossed them Rocky Mountains. No, no. Yeah, son? I mean, just think about that. You want to talk about tough. Oh, well, you talk about them. Those folks was tough. Yeah.

Think about this. Back in them days, the way you lived, even though you had shelters and houses and stuff, it was still like camping out every day. It wasn't no air conditioning. They wasn't on that air conditioning bag. No, they just raised a wonder. See, why did people stop here without an air conditioner? I don't know.

But you want to talk about tough. Forget air conditioning. I'd make it potentially without air conditioning. Skaters. Them skaters. You can make it without air conditioner? I could survive without air conditioning a lot longer than I could in a place where I can't get away from mosquitoes. You're power.

I would go nuts. Something buzzing around me. There's plenty of turkey hunting footage. Then flies when they land on them cow patties and then come up there and land on your nose and your lips and you turkey hunting and you can't move. Them things that buzz around me drive me insane. You need me to spill my guts, fill this room full of flies

and give me nothing to kill them with. And I'll tell you everything that I've ever done in life. You just don't like flies? Any kind of buzzing insect that get up around this area. I cannot. That's why I hate teal seeds. I hate teal season. Yeah, bow season, they're rough.

Bow season ain't so bad, but them teal, the blue wings, because you're around a mosquito breeding pot. Yep. And they just, uh-huh. And they're blood suckers. Yeah. And they suckers down here get so big, enough of them to get on you, you're flying away.

Take a lot of them to make me up. Well, I'm just saying, yeah, we'll take a bunch of them to get you up. That's why me and Godwin are anchored. A lot of fat. But you ought to have one of them suckers, hey, you ought to have one of them like a mosquito get in your ear inside. Have you had...

And every time he... Oh, I'd die. You know, just, oh, no. Couldn't do it, I'd die. That's like Jays. What is there, Chadwick? Something like that? Chad.

We've never heard of. Oh, God. Jace had something pulled out of his ear by a doctor. That was Willie. No, no, Jace. This was Jays. and he showed me a stupid picture of it it looked like a prehistoric monster

living up in his ear in his ear this thing had I mean like you know clock I remember that this thing was ugly but I don't remember what it was it's a tick

a guy earwack ched wax something like but hey you're talking about rough looking and the bendigo and hey they pulled it out of his ear and I just he showed me a picture of it and I said you've got to be kidding me

you've had that he said oh yeah I've had it in my ear he probably stuck it in there when Tommy was around well no no I'm telling you hey I couldn't believe hey you already see he's got it on his phone does he oh and hey this thing is gross looking well let's see if we can't figure that out let's take a break

see if we can figure out what it is and we'll go into okay can't look at it nope that was gross so now we got to take a break for a completely different reason we'll be right back after this we go he just looked it up is it's an earwig air wig earwig

what a name you found him well he's supposed to be in here you're supposed to he's like a he's like a roach mixed with a scorpion let me see

no no this thing is gross looking yeah google that on your own phone I don't I ain't looking at that again I hold on I ain't looking at that I got Google too

Willie tells a story where he had one of those in his ear too so I think they might need an exterminator down there's well they're supposed to be earwig I think Phil and

Hey, need the number to bullseye exterminating. For real. That come out his ear? That's come out of his ear. When he showed me, I thought he was lying to me. I called him a lie. That looks like something you put on a hook. Willie's told the same story back whenever he was living in the laundry room.

And Phil just put a bunch of Vaseline in his ear. Oh, to snuff him out. And that didn't work. And he ended up in the emergency room with like a big old cockroach in his ear. that thing right there that thing right there him that's him you catch a blue

you catch a blue gill off of him yeah ain't no doubt about it a blue gill no I'm serious they was just smuggling their fishing bait

that's all they're doing when he told me about that I called him a liar I said jake you didn't have that in your ear he looks like a cross between a cricket a crawfish and a spider

with a little bit of cockroach mixed in Whoever is adding this, do not put a picture of this thing up for people to look at it because it's gross. It is gross. Do not Google it either, people. It's nasty. But he had that thing living inside his ear. And it ain't understand how long it's been there.

It's supposed to be on your head. It's an air wig. It ain't supposed to be on your head. A wing. I get it. I got you. Hey, we call it. It's an airwigs.

Most species of earwigs feed on decaying vegetation. such as composting leaves and other plant items. Why was that in Jason's ear? That's why I'm trying to figure out how they get there. Y'all make fun of me for him. Oh, he just crawled in there. I have bidetes. I'm clean and y'all make fun of me, but y'all got things going to use.

But this has got to be, I mean, this has got to be, it's got to be something common if he got hung with the name earwig, like, because that's where they found him. Most stuff gets the name like. I can't Google it. You're in charge of this. That's where they live. I like you.

I will throw up if I see something else. It ain't on telling how long he'd been in Jason's ear. Since birth. No, no, I'm serious. They're found everywhere but Antarctica. Look, we're teaching y'all some stuff today now. I'm telling you. Oh, here's why.

Here's why. Oh, listen. They're mostly nocturnal and often hide in small, moist crevices during the day. I know why they're done. And then they come out at night. I know where he got them. Where did he get them? He got them frog digging.

Thank you. Frogging. Thank you. I can go with that. That's where you got him. All right, I made it to the Wikipedia page so now I can read it. Yeah. That is a gross looking thing.

It's not, it only makes me want to throw up when I see it in someone's ear. God. The thought of that thing in there like tickling me on the inside of the ear, that would drive me. I don't know how they kept it in there as long as they did. Relationship with humans. Man, you got to love that. What about? They got a relationship with us.

What about when you swallow above? Going down, like running down the river? Hey, all that is is protein. And you can't get him up. Oh, yeah, when he gets stuck. He's halfway and you got, do I continue? Oh, that's bad. Or do I try to get him up or do I just go on swallow?

Swallow. Every time. Send him to the stomach. The acid is legally. Or go into your both stands. The acid will eat him. And you walk through a spider whale. When he falls into the stomach, you hear him, ah.

Hey, the good news is, they. at least. All right, I'll go down a bad road on this. Old biologist here, it's like, hey, we're going to take a 20-minute break. Martin's going to give a full book report on earwigs. He'll be out there turning boards over. Well, that stuff is cool, man. How does that not interest you?

I don't understand. Well, I understand it's gross, but, like, that's cool. Hey, here's what he lived off when he was in Jason's ear. Okay. Their earwax. I would have argued. He must eat part of. of his brain.

Well, hey, now that, hey, I wasn't all go there. I want to go there. Hey, now that you brought it up, yep. Yep, he got a little bit of that while he was in there too. That makes a lot of sense, boys. Now we know. Hygiene. Well, they'll tell you they was poor as a snake.

But this sounds like as an adult. No, it wasn't as an adult. Was Jason as an adult? During duck season. Now, during duck season, okay, I get it. Like, I mean, that, yeah. When you're out in a while, mean, you know, tell it what's going to get on you.

I mean, you crawl, look, it said they live like in moist places, leaves and all that. Let me tell you what the bottom of every one of Phil Robertson's duck blind is full of. Moist leaves. Every last one of them. Hey, and unfortunately, a lot of critters go in there, okay, and it's rough. Yeah. You got to look in the corners when you're going there. There's snakes in there, huh?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, there's snakes in there. Oh, there's snakes in there. You ought to go duck out and get up in your spot on the blind And the next thing you see you see something out there out there putting the decoyed out The next thing you see is you see something uncorling

Hey, I'm going to jump the gun here because we do have an email from Daniel Why is Sai so scared of snakes? Did something happen to you in Vietnam? Why are you so scared of snakes? He read Genesis? Well, no, no, no. No, no. Yeah, because this guy's father-laws of Vietnam.

He really has got it down. It is because of Genesis, okay? So no... The evil one is a snake, okay? And he truly is, okay? Boy, it's bad news. So I just don't like them, okay? And look, so it's not like a life.

There wasn't a moment that scarred you. No, I just never liked them. Anything that slizzles around, okay, on their belly? I get it. No, I don't like them. I get it. I can see that. Snakes don't bother me.

Now, I think it's a human reaction when you see one. You automatically flinch. Like there's not a, and the people that don't flinch, you get to looking and they're missing toes, fingers and stuff like that where something just dope popped them one time. And that, you know, that's a bad deal. It's a dope option. Yeah. But, like, I play with them. I like snakes.

They're fun. Oh, I do too. Yeah. At the end of a shotgun or a rifle. So I plays tag with them. Oh, yeah. I play tag. Tag.

Yeah. Damn. You're it. And hey, the corner van is pulling up Because you're going on your last ride, Jack No Because we've had a few snakes show up to this office And they're like, hey, they ask somebody to come get him

And I'm always standing on a couch or on top of a desk And Martin's playing with the dadgum thing Oh yeah I love them I mean they're cool They will bite you That's the whole Everybody always says

Well, will he bite you? I'm like, does he have to be? have a mouth. Yes, he will bite you. He will bite you. I say the same thing about side. Yeah, he'll bite you too. He'll bite you too. There ain't no doubt about that. I got my wife yesterday with a snake. That was a fun one. What? There's been one living in our little sprinkler system deal, a little garter snake. Yeah, I've been watching him. He's just living in there. So he's keeping the bugs, beat out and everything else. So I told her, I said, look, it's springtime, you know, we need to

go get the sprinklers ready, get the irrigation system going. I said, but I need some help. You are mean Go over to that one Yeah I said you go to that one I gotta get this one And we gotta do it at the same time Make this thing work And she went to reach on that

Reach on that cover And that thing That thing got her on the finger Just come up here and lick her You know No Oh so she came out her skin She said whoa whoa

What something's in there I said what are you talking about There ain't nothing in there Did she hurt you? No she doesn't know you did it on purpose Oh yeah Oh yeah I know Oh she knew

when I started dying out laughing. And then I took it off and I took the cap off and picked him up. I've been playing with him for a week. I mean, he just been living in there. What a weirdo. The headlines are going to read, Justin Lee Martin was killed by his wife. Because he was playing with a snake.

Oh, my wife would murder me. It wouldn't even, in cold blood, she'd call the news to come, make sure they got it on video. You got any holes in your mailbox? I don't want no snakes anywhere near me. I can't find one put it in mailbox let Allison figure it. No, my wife is so afraid of snakes. It's not even funny.

And one time there was one in the middle of the road and we were on the golf cart and I pulled up to it. And I was like, oh, well, I just, that's it for this marriage. I ruined it. I thought she was never going to talk to me again. So we don't play with snakes. Oh, I love them. They're fine. You're a weird person.

I like, I like nature. I like everything. I like looking at snakes. He ain't paid attention to what he said. He said, usually those that play with snakes are missing fingers and all this. Well, look. I'm smart enough to know which ones to pick up and which not. Now, I say that.

Now, I did have one case of mistaken identity in my life that could have cost me my life. Yeah. Was it poisonous? No, he was venomous. Let's get that right. There are no such things as poisonous snakes. They're venomous people. just sorry I took herpetology in college that was beat into my head and it really drives me crazy

what I had it's what I got a question about that it's not a poisonous snake I got a venomous snake I got a question about that go ahead you get bit by poisonous snake venomous venomous he does it every time and they go to the hospital then they shoot you up with more poison anti-venom it's anti-venom won't you just let the snake bite you twice well hey now here's you go here you go about common sense

okay I don't have the answer it's like the covert you know the virus okay oh that's fantastic I don't have it so why should I take the

take the syrup all they're gonna do they're gonna bite me again he said why don't you just let the snake bite you twice hey bite me twice there at rattle snake oh you bet you once he died they bite you twice

he's dumbed swell up a little bit and go on about your business. That's why you don't play with it. He's Googled. What, any venom? No. Well, ain't that what they do? Don't they do that when they give you a shot of the same venom?

That's why they know what a snake it is. No, any venom is they inject you with the antibodies. They take the venom and then make antibodies with the venom, and then you get the antibodies to go in your body and attack the venom and get it out. To a fight. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you're injected. a bunch of soldiers into your body that know how to fight this stuff. I'm just going to stay away from... And it still comes from... But it starts as the snake venomous... That's what I'm talking about. Yeah.

But they do it with animals that are tougher than us that can fight it. I think it comes from like horses or something. I don't know. How is anti-venom made? I'm more scared of horses than I am a snake. The only thing about that... So when a snake bite you,

you need to go let a horse bite. No, you just need to go get a transfibate. from the horse. I'm with it. I like it, boys. I'm with it. You heard it here first, boys. Yeah.

Go get the horse treatment. If you get bit by a snake, get bit by horse. Here's the scary thing about snakes. They bite. No. They get big. Real big. Oh, they do.

Real big. If therefore there's a lot of food that they eat and they're not bothered, they get huge. Because right now, Florida has got. a problem all them python with all the pythons

that they buy them one of the little bitty things to play with them but they don't stay little okay

you know now they've they've got patrols that patrols you know yeah people let them go

yeah let them go and then they grow big and hey here you got one of endacondas that weigh you know 500 pounds

and 20 foot long go outside and call for a phido and he don't come yeah yeah and then you look over

there's a big lump laying over there. He's going along and then boom, boom, right in the middle of it. You know, he gets real, look like the pregnant woman. That's where Fido went, Jack. Oh, man, we went on the snakes. We went off the track there. Good grief. Well, let's take a break.

We'll get right back on them. Oh, look at it. Jayette. What are you doing? I'm watching iguana run from 50 snakes on planet Earth. Have you never seen this? No, no, no, hey. You're talking about Dom.

Look at that. What are you all looking at? Yeah. He got him. And now, hey, he's just rolling it up and crushing him. Oh, he beat him. He slicked him, and he's running like the wind, boys. What did he do?

He flared them things, but me. I guess. No, we got an iguana running from 50 different snakes. It's a planet Earth, two islands. We need Si. That's what we need to do. Sineer rates planet Earth. That'd be pretty good.

Hey, that boy's climbing the mountains on him now. He gone. He made it. He made it. Snake YouTube. Every now and then. Good grief. So, Sia, what you're telling me is in your Christian walk,

you ain't everyone wanting them to go getting a sleeping bag with some snakes to show us what Jesus can do. No. No, I'm afraid I'm afraid my faith would be a little bit lacking there. Okay, he said something back down all to go and snake. Look, I'm going to guard duty, okay? And I look over and I think it looks like a, where a truck has blown a tire. You know what one of these 18 wheelers? That's what it looked like.

It's about that wide, about 18 inches wide. And I look, and there's a lot of stuff buzzing, oh, butt it, you know, and on it. And I said, yesterday is talking about they killed a cobra out here. I said, no, that can't be, you know. So I go over and kick it over. Oh, yeah, it's a cobra, a piece of him, because they shot him in half and all kind of feet. Okay, but this thing's about 18 inches wide, a king cobra.

Okay, and look, there's guard duty, okay, and they had a new kid. He just arrived in country, and he's on guard duty, and he keeps telling them, man, I'm seeing some eyes. It comes close and then it goes away. And they said, oh, shut up, you know. And he said, I'm telling you, you better pop a flare.

There's something out there. You know, so he bothers for like 30 minutes. This thing is, and all it is, at King Cobra, they got a connex that they cut slit in and then put sandbag on top of it. He's in front of it and he's coming like this. He comes in that little slit, and then he goes back. You know, well, they finally, that guy keeps up. father them so they said okay pop a flare over bunker so and so when they do he comes like

this and then all you hear is all of them m60 machine guns opened up they got him 16 wings are big but hey a king cobra is a mean dude johnny d why you got google what is the fear of snakes what's one what's phobia is the fear of snakes what is he running or snake ovia i'm I'm currently watching a mongoose fight a cobra. Oh, that mongoose going to win. They kill them. Yeah, that mongoose going to win. He can kill him.

Yeah. He's quick, though. Oh. Uh-oh. That mongoose like the honey badger, son. He don't care. This thing got 60 million views. Of course it did.

All right. What are we looking up? Fear of snakes. What is it? Godwin says it's snakophobia. I got it. Nacophobia. Ophidola bleh.

Where'd it go? What was that last part? A lily blue. Offidiofobia Osi-diophobia Ophi-diophobia I don't know Ophidi-fiophobia

Ophidiophobia Yeah that comes from Greek Ophi-Diofobia I think it's either Greek or Latin as the ophus or whatever for snakes It's an abnormal Fear of Snakes So that's what size gets

No The fear of snake is not abnormal No Thank you They say Martin's the abnormal Since they got die in the middle of that word, no, it ain't no abnormal, jack. There's also.

Well, you boy, I just got. Herpetophobia. Herpetophobia. Yeah. That's when you like, don't. Obadiophobia. That's the fear of reptiles. That means you don't like gators and turtles and stuff, too.

I don't like frogs. That's another thing I don't like. What? You don't, what? A gator. Gator, because I'm always waiting in the swamps, okay? So it ain't a good thing. Yeah, them big lizards are to be.

Yeah. I'm not going to say feared, but they're very much to be respected. Look, they won't run from you neither. We's out there building a duck blind in the water and they just come up. I mean, right there. And I thought, we had a boat there, Phil and Tommy. They're out there building that duck. I said, hey.

Look at there. Look right there. What was it? It was a gator. I bet. Big enough. It was a giant. Look like Godzilla, didn't he?

I'm bigger enough, better enough, boy. Things of dinosaurs. I said, Phil, I said, Phil, Phil said, they ain't going to bother you. And I got to thinking, they show ain't, because I got in the boat. That's Phil's famous line about everything. Ain't going to bother you.

His other famous line is just don't be second. That's why he takes off blazing the trail everywhere you go. He said, get behind me. Come on down there. Jump on this four wheeler. You don't need no boots. Yeah, you don't need no boots. You ruin them shoes.

Go ahead and throw them away for the rest of your life. Them's done. We ain't going to be gone about 15 minutes. But I mean, I guess we all have fears of stuff. Like, I mean, I don't like a spider. So that movie, arachnophobia? No, I'm out on him. Like that, that thing?

Spiders. Because they're small. Like, you can't see them. A snake you can see. That spider, though, he'd be them crept up on you and got you son for you even know. Like growing up squirrel hunting October is when them Orb spiders

get in the middle of every trail through the woods I thought I was talking about earlier And then you walking through there And you just And a thing of panic Takes me over Of like

Where is he? Because you know that big rascal And he can't hurt you That web But you know that big rascal's on you That web is like glue Yeah it's like glue Why is the deal

about that like you're talking about. It's animal trails. Yeah. Why is it always it's up about neck hound? Well, think about it. When you're going through there, and it's warm, mosquitoes is on your back,

flies is on you. Same deal with deer. They just get right above them. Then when the deer hits the web, they duck, the animals, the little stuff comes up. Whop, right in the, they got dinner. It's pretty slick.

They're pretty slick engineer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For what? Martin's smart. Hey, I just spend a lot of time trying to avoid them things. That's one cool, cool thing.

I don't reckon I'm really scared of nothing. Spiders. Spiders are cool. You ain't scared of nothing? No. Cold water. Well, I mean, yeah, cold water. He's scared of that.

He's cold water and ice. He can't bite me back, though. No, but he'll lock you up. Yeah, lock you up. Well, you stay out of him, he won't. Spiders are a cool little critter, though. No, they ain't. Yeah, they are.

No, they got eight eyes and eight legs. You got a two-lane dirt road. Trees on this side, trees on the other side. And what they do is they got the spider web. Yeah. They just start letting that out of, and the wind blowing, and it blows them all the way across that two-lane road. I'm saying them out in the middle of the lake.

Yeah. And a piece of spider web come by a bit of a fire on it. Yeah. And I'm trying to get naked. I'm like, where did that thing go? I'm out of the middle of the lake. There ain't no trees out of it. Yeah.

Here they just floating along. They're slick. That and ants. Ants use water. Aint's used water. Yeah. Don't we all? No, no, no.

I'm talking about when the water river comes up. Oh, when he flood. You see them big balls of fire. That's why I look. In South Louisiana, you go down there and, hey, there'll be an antheeled up there 10 feet tall. Oh, they're just trying to beat the other guy to get to the top of the water. No.

Yeah. I always wonder how they decide who's on. on top and who's on bottom. Oh, they's always moving. Yeah. I don't think the ones on the bottom drowned, though. No, they don't. They don't stay in their arms.

It creates an air pocket. It's the survival of the finish. Yeah. The big boys always make it to the top. Only the strong. Yeah, I hate, I've always, every time during duck season, when you get a fresh rain or something that floods up, I always, whoever's with me, I say, I give you $20 stick your finger in that ball right there.

I know. They get everywhere. I got $20 to give you. Yeah. Yeah, put your finger right there, right there. Boy, I leaned on a log, shooting wood ducks one morning when the water had just come up. Yep, did it get you? And, well, I didn't know it, but.

Oh, yeah. And then we went to the blind, I got that blind, and they went to turn me up. I had ants in my paint. That's the problem with ants is they all wait until that signal's fired, and then they all get you at once. They won't just, like, get on you and bite you one time. Put them little white spots on you. Yeah, they get everybody. in position and they're like, high.

The shot that was heard around the world was. When that firstest command was given. Stick him. Stick him. This will forever be known as the Critter episode. Let's take one more break and we'll be right back after this. Well, well what? Sounds like a deep subject.

Tushay, friend. I was on it today. Tusha. You had a good night's sleep, didn't you old buddy. I did. I did. You woke up and had your vitamins and everything. You good to go today.

Well, sounds like a big subject. It's before and after sleep. I guarantee you. It could be a deep subject or if it's a shallow well, it'll be shallow subject. But it won't be dry. Well, I could have said for such an narrow-minded feller, but I left that out. How would you like to live, okay? Like if Darbone had not aggregated but the crocodiles.

Crocodiles. No, see, look, that's in mean, so. Oh, yeah. I think I've made it very well known on the things that kind of drive me baddie. I like to be at the top of the food chain. The tivity top. Yeah, don't. And I don't want nothing looking eye level with me.

Yeah. I like everything be down below me. Because like big cats, I'm out on them. Spiders, you know, they are what they are. But crocodiles, they eat you. You know why I don't get that ocean? Sharks. Guy, God wouldn't jump out there with them.

I ain't. Oh, I've seen one. Well, I all did. I mean, we was pretty good ways from the bank. Yeah. And we around this coral reef. He was a bunch of them purtyful. Elmo and everything was swimming down there.

Elmo? Nimo? Yeah, him. And Elmo is that little red rascal. Yeah, looking for Nemo. Yeah, but they was all down there. That's what they should have named it. And then this.

Looking for Nemo. I guess it was a reef shark. Come on. A reef shark. Yep, nope. I was like, what do we do? I said, I looked at the bank. I said, I don't know.

Swim. I said, then I remember that. them guys that was doing that, taking that one breath and going down 100 feet. They said, just look them in the eye, keep your eye on them, and they'll leave you alone. So I kept my eye on him. Yep. That works every time but once. Yeah.

That works. That's just like going all in in poker. It works every time by once. Yeah. I was looking at him when he bit me. Yeah, you need to watch Shark Week. No, I ain't doing it. Oh, yeah.

Shark Week had one episode on and look, the big whale had died. and the sharks had ate this thing down to about, oh, that guy was on a piece of blubber left about three times big as this. Yeah. A cameraman. He's got a camera and this big, great white comes up, and he's literally got the camera in this thing's mouth

and he's biting off about all a hondo piece of blubber. Good night. He's way too close. No, he's way too stupid. It wasn't that old braided hair dude. Well, hey, I'm just telling you. What do you call that? I wouldn't ride it.

Yeah. What, dreadlocks? Wasn't Devin? Yeah, dreadlock. Deadlock. You're talking about Devin? Yeah. Yeah.

Think about it. I wouldn't ride a piece of blubber with great whites in the area of feeding on this thing. I walk around with it every day. I ain't riding it. I sing Devon. It's close from a cotton mouth taking his picture. Oh, yeah, I remember that. It's close.

Oh, I've been behind Phil, and he puts his foot down, and about where that Bible's at, you see just a white spot. Yeah, but he didn't know it. I know. I know, but hey, you know, I've seen him do that so many times, and, you know, we're all lucky that he ain't been in bed out there. I guarantee. Well, let's get in the mailback, the hello at duck callroom.com.

We've already been in it a little bit, but Johnny Dee, what do we have? from the hello call room.com. So we're getting a lot of requests to have our wives on the show. Wives on the show. Well, my wife works. And they try to keep this an hour long. So if that's what you want to keep it, we ain't going to be able to do that.

Yeah. So I'm just letting y'all know. That's a big request. I want to throw it out there. So now y'all know I've asked. And plus, we may get fired if they see all that eye candy get on here. They'd be a lot easier to look at than us. Well, Mr. Christine, we'll probably not be involved.

than this. She means? Yeah. Speaking of... She's too mean to be on podcast. Speaking of, we got an email from Ivy. He just got married back in August, also to a mean redhead in parentheses. Sorry, Ivy.

You're out. So my man from West Virginia needs side to know, his number one advice on having a long and happy marriage to a mean redhead. You say, yes, ma'am. not submission. Okay. Do not forget that that's important. That's important. That's a big one.

You got a big one, boys. That is solid. That's it. Just yes ma'am, no ma'am. That's it. Yeah. No, he didn't say no, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

No. You don't say no. You don't say no to a mean red hair. Yes, ma'am. Just get out of the way. Nine bags full. Yes, ma'am. All right.

Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. That's right. There it is. And next is from another, Daniel. We got a lot of Daniels. We got a lot of Daniels around here.

I wonder if any of them been in the Lions Den. Old Danny Boy. With Shadrack. Oh, Danny Boy. He's a huge friend of the show and he likes being outside and chasing animals. But he has a question, how to get over shaky hands when you shoot a deer. And I'm steady as can be. No shakes at all.

If your hand stop shaking, quit hunting. Yeah, quit deer hunting. Now, I think there's that point, like, when I'm deer hunting, I bow hunt a lot. But it's always weird, like, when I'm getting ready, like, everything be like this. But when I start the drawback process, for whatever reason, everything gets calm. It focuses on it. It's the killer instinct. And there's just a calmness that goes over me.

Before the storm. and when that arrow lets loose and you hear that thud, then buddy, I got to find me a seat. Like, I got to sit down. I mean, you can look back at all my deer hunts that have been on camera, and the first thing I do, I take my hat off and I sit down. I don't know why I take my hat off, but I get them swimming leg. You got too hot.

Yeah, I got a lot of adrenaline up there, I guess. Not too hot. That's what it is. But I do. I get them swimming legs, son. I got to sit down. You don't have to worry about me waiting 30 minutes, because that's how long it takes me to calm down.

Oh, yeah. I'm not one of them that can run out of the, I ain't Jim Shockey. I can't just take off. You know what it is. You know what it is. You wear it them backstraps are going to run off. Yeah.

The reason they said, hey, quit hunting. If you don't do that, if you don't get excited. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. I still get nervous when a big old Miler Drake's coming in the plugs. Like I have my hand on my shotgun and that thing just kind of,

is he going to see us? Is he going to flare? Yeah, but it's two reasons why you're getting. Trying not to move. Hey, it's two reasons why you're getting shaky hands. You're hoping someone doesn't shoot him before you get this chance to kill him. Very few that's going to shoot him for. I get my chance.

I can guarantee you that. You've got to be quick with these boys. Martin got the video when I killed a deer last year. Oh, Lord. I wasn't sure where I hit it, but when we had a cameraman, you can go watch it on Buck Commanders YouTube. Yeah. It's a big deer.

And I was texting Martin, and then I tried to video the video. and my hands were, you couldn't see anything in the video it was like the worst Bigfoot video you've ever seen. And it was 15 minutes later and my hands, I couldn't stop shaking. Yeah, he called me, said, what do I do? I said, just sit there. I said, what do I got to go look?

I got to go get it. I said, just sit there. Ain't no big deal. Yep. Oh, it was a big deal. What's a none? Look, here's the thing on that. I'll just tell, for everybody listening

on to sit there and wait and all that. If you made a good shot, he's not going to get any more dead than he is right there. He's as dead as he's going to get. He ain't going to anywhere. And if you made a poor shot, then you need time. And look, hey,

I've made poor shots and I'm sure I'll make some more in my life. I mean, I've screwed it up just as bad as anybody. But, yeah, there's no reason to get into a hurry unless you're hunting, like, in South Carolina and it's 95 degrees when they open in August. Then you've got to be a little sporty

about getting down and getting him. But, you know, for the most part, he'll be fine. give them 30, 40 minutes, it'd be all right. Get your buddies, get ready, get your lights, get your nines, all that good stuff. I was ready to go chase after him. Yeah, you, see, you had that rambo in you, son. Just shaking like a leaf. Well, what you got?

Si, are you reading this of scripture today? I saw you with your Bible when you walked in. Johnny D. Okay. Which one you want? I got two. Both about snakes. Go ahead and read one of them. I can't take two.

Let's go. Genesis 3, 14, and 15. So the Lord God said to the serpent, because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals? You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. I will put enmity between you and the woman and between your offspring and hers. He will crush your head and you will only strike his hill. Hey.

That was at the cross. And that is a fact, Jack. Thank you. that's where snakes started i don't like them and that's how it rolls that's how it rolls we'll see y'all next week right here in the duck call room we go