Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Is Shocked by Willie Robertson's Booty Shorts | Duck Call Room #305

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

Uncle Si hasn’t technically worked for Duck Commander in years, but that doesn’t stop him battling it out with his nephew and former boss, Willie Robertson. Si and Willie’s relationship confounds and amuses the boys and touches the hearts of people all over. Some of the best moments and arguments between Willie and Si will never be forgotten! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here's the best Willie. Boss Hog. Hey, forget trying to fire me. I'm blood can. So just look, get over it, son. And also, I quit. Right. Yeah, before you can fire me, I would quit on you anyway.

So, hey. That was the first episode of Duck Dynasty. He was wearing weird flip-flops, and he kicked his shoe off and said, And I can't fire you. Because you can't to me. And Jimmy Red was standing there. Along with me and Gobbin. We're like, well, now you can fire us.

That's when you know. boys that hey you can just go I got it mate but sit back and enjoy the best of Willie that's right hey pour me some of that just a little bit

just a little bit let's give me a little shot of that just pass it around just a warning of you may end up like that after drinking hey that's really colored shining I never drank Uncle size iced tea in my life

I got in a bind No, that's freshly booed this morning. It's solid. No, he's solid. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. I've drank it.

I always said I drink as much tea as him. I'm just not as famous for it. If you saw how he makes his tea, you wouldn't drink it. What way that? What are you talking about? How many ways are there to make tea? Yeah. I've never used tap water in a microwave to make tea.

Really? He does the tap water. What? No. I do it. You just eat the water? What? You boil it.

I boil it. It is boiling. And the microwave. So you boil? Yeah, it's a say. Okay. And the microwave. In the microwave or on the oven.

Most time I just put it in an oven, you know, put it on a pan. Filled it full of water. Go five tea bags. Get after it. Here's the deal. So I used to ball. Well, I didn't, wouldn't ball it, but I get it to almost a ball. Put the tea bag in.

So I did it old school as well. I bought it. But look, I had a dude over. Corey had put out this fancy crystal. looking pitcher. My water went to boil. Didn't realize. I'm pouring the water in.

I'm talking to the guy and literally I had the thought, can you pour boiling water in something like this? And as soon as the thought went through my brain, it exploded and all of my tea went on to my thighs and my lower leg, which was boiling water. Yeah. Let me tell you something. Yeah, it burnt pain. Don't ever do that.

We probably still got some pictures. Never do that That's a DED Two months Don't ever do this And I told the doctor I said I got to play in a golf tournament next week And he said no

You ain't gonna make that I said oh yeah I'll be I will be your patient That will be it now That wasn't even a chance So I had to wear a little shorty shorts For two months And scrape it all off

I had to wear a Christian Christian shorts Yeah Apparently all my kids laugh at me And say my shorts are too long You're on that basketball shorts? No, I mean, every pair of shorts I buy is too long, but I'm getting them from a store, I don't know, you know.

So they said, Dad, the shorts are now, they're shorter now. No. Now, this is the debate. They said, look at Christian. It's always Christian. Look at Christian. Well, yeah. It looks like the form that the thing, you know.

Yeah, when you go to the stores. The model. It's basically Christian. Yeah, he's the mannequin. That's a gray face or whatever. And they said, no, his shorts don't. But I realize I have surprisingly short legs. Because Corey and I have the same height, but her legs are like nine inch.

Her hip is nine inches above mine. So my, yeah. So she got a short portion of it. I'm possibly deformed. I'm not sure, but my legs are short. But the waist didn't like skinny. So when you, when you hit that waist size, there's an assumptive length to the knee. Preach.

Preach. But that's not true on me. You know, it's like, hey, no legs. I mean, I'm pushing around the 40 waistline, so they're like, oh, well, we know what this size of sky is. I'm like, no, I'm not even, I'm half that person. Yeah, that's, so I've got this look, you know, and so I'm trying to now. But I feel like when I wear the shorter shorts, I feel like I'm back playing basketball again in high school, like when Sa was growing up in the 80s. And they feel a little awkwardly short, but I'm a set.

I think I'm going with this look because they're telling me that's what everybody's doing. 100% do I get So dear duck call room Do I get rid of all my shorts That are longer to the knees or past Or do I go with the new 2021? What is?

I don't even know what year is. Yeah, 20201. Yeah, 2021 look of the more snugly shorter shorts. I'm a firm believer. I'm a firm believer. When you sit down, the back of your shorts should be

right there at the back of your knee. Like that's just, that's your fashion. No, I'm not saying it's fashion. I'm saying it's cuth. It's coooth. It's covering. It's Coot and protection.

Yeah. When was it in the 80s short shorts? Well, back when Larry Bird, see, we're going to bring this all the way back to the basketball. I still have nightmares. You know, you'd go back to my dad being a coach. He'd wear them bike coaching shorts that were short and really tight in the crotch area. Well, your dad was similar to me, although your dad was at a different level than me as far as waist size was comparative to how far.

Like, your dad's waist size, he coached me. His waist size would have said he was eight foot two. Oh, that's right. But bike, but he wasn't. Dude, I'm sitting in my house the other night, and I looked down in this mouse, not only did he, like, I thought we had a deal. Like, mice come out when they, you see him, then they run off.

Oh, this guy's like, what are you looking at? I dare you. I dare you. I just looking at me like, and I'm looking at him I'm like, really? And he, so he scurries under the thing and I'm like, I'm fixing to get that.

He comes back out. Just chins up on me, look at me like, you're still there? I'm like, yeah, I'm still here. Well, you ain't going to the kitchen. Well, then I said, all right, little buddy, you're going to be running one day or night, and all of a sudden you're going to hit something

and you're not going to be able to move and then you're going to realize, he put a stinky thing out and I can't move my feet anymore. Do not seek the trash. I've had so many, man, they've been rolling it. It's been a plague of them since this last cold snap.

I don't know. But it's all the little ones. It's all the little field mice. It's not, it ain't the big cotton rats or what. We got them. Living at you mom and dad. Yeah, whatever, yeah.

Whatever. That's squirrel. Yeah. I'm going to buy a, I'm going to get me a pet. chicken snake for my living room so they'll eat the mic there you go that'll go over that's what i do why not hey it's better than a cat when we come back from this first break will you tell the story about when you threw a snake on your wife i love that well let's take a break and do that that's a good one

all right look springtime is here it's warming up you know what that means that means more outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tells beef makes such a good product Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill!

Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from, but with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store

and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat me. She ain't a big meat easier, folks.

Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So you were brave enough or dumb enough or I don't really know the correct term to throw a snake on Corey? Well, technically, I threw it in the vicinity. So this was about year two of marriage. they've made it. Just remember that, folks. So I was in the yard doing some yard work and I come across a little king snake, but it was a smallish king snake. So I picked it up. I took in the house. I was going to

show it off and my wife was taking a shower. And then sometimes in life, opportunity pops up. And I'm like, how funny would this be? So I just go in there and we have like the current. and, you know, that hangs. And so I just threw it over the top and then scurried out. And, I mean, it was the funniest, the noises. All the shower curtain gets ripped off and she was not happy. Oh, so you didn't only throw it on her. You threw it on her in the shower.

In the shower. Wow. Does she know that you did that? Well, I think she assumed. I don't know how many people were bouncing in there. when she's in the shower. Yeah, I mean. Oh, man.

It was just me and the snake. Man, I thought what I did to Brittany last year was bad with a snake, but that ain't nothing, no. I just knew we have a garter snake that lives in our flyer bed. He lives in a little, the sprinkler cap thing, the irrigation control. Well, I knew he's in there because I took it off to turn my sprinklers on. And he just stayed. So the next day I said, hey, I can't get this cap off. You got small fingers.

You come in here and get that thing? Uh-uh. And when she stuck her finger in that sprinkler cap, he came up here, licked her finger. Buddy, gone. That Tennessee Hillbilly was just jetting across my yard. Down the road. I'm talking about, and she said, there's something in there.

I thought, no, what are you talking about, you know? I said, look, there ain't nothing in there. When I popped it off, he just sitting there smiling at I couldn't, I couldn't control it. I started dying laughing. You don't do snake jokes. Huh? I never. Well, it's a harmless snake.

It's a garter snake. He ain't going to do nothing, do you? What's he going to do? I mean... He just caught up there, give him a little kiss on a finger. And I'm proud to report he's still there this year, so nothing snuffed him out in a year. You can go there right now and go pet him if you want to.

Well, we used to have a box that covered up the cutoff valve. And so every time you open this thing, there was a Black Widow spider. I mean... I don't want them as a pet. Money. And so I was telling this older guy about this spider, and I said, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to open this up. and there's going to be a black with a spider.

I don't care. How many I killed? They always came back. So I opened it up and there was no spider. And I thought, Dad, Gun, there's always a spider. And I kid you not, when I looked down, I saw her crawling inside of my pants at the bottom. Oh, no. I saw the spider go up.

I'm going to tell you, I was standing there in my underwear in about three seconds. And here's the crazy thing. I never did find the spider. Like, I'm just standing there in my underwear and saw, I mean, shoes are off. I don't know where that thing went, but it disappeared. I saw it go inside the pants leg. And then you shed said pants leg. I shed it fast because I thought, I mean, I got so much room for that thing.

You look like one of those basketball players coming off the bench, didn't you? Just got them britches that just rip off? Exactly, yeah. But what if I would have seen it? What if? Oh, you'd have felt him eventually. You imagine that just dough popping you up in the inner thigh region? Oh.

Right below the nether region. Yeah, that's a bad deal there. I don't know that I've ever been bit by a spider. But that's where all small insects end up for whatever reason, so you know that's where she'd have got you. Oh, yeah. Most of them end up in your mouth like when you're sleeping. Yeah.

Like, don't we eat like a thousand spiders in our lifetime? I've heard that. Something like that, yeah. Especially if you're a mouth breather. Glad they're not fattening. I think my favorite snake was a little. and Phil chopped the copperhead. So he took a shove when he hit a copperhead.

There's probably four inches of snake. Then he throws it at the dog. Don't ask me why. And the dog gets bitten by the piece of the snake. I remember that. That's old Jesse, wasn't it? Yeah. That was old Jesse.

Yeah. Jesse's been snake been like 50 times. Oh, yeah. Because he couldn't. Yeah, he couldn't. stand it. He couldn't stand to see a snake and kill it. He had to kill every snake he run across. A little rat terrier.

But we've had, so we've had a lot of guests. Corey, you're one of the favorites. Kay's one of the favorites. Willie, everybody in Iowa thinks you're a jerk but that's okay. Iowa. You don't even remember. You've never watched an episode. I've never watched an episode. You don't remember

what you said. Amazon River had come up. And when it comes up, they're just like, all right, well, this is how we live now. swimming and paddling and all that. So that's why I go to Iowa just to remember how good we have it. Iowa. Why did you do that?

Nobody in the state of Iowa is listening to this right now. That's not true. Nobody. I guarantee you won't get one email from Iowa. Oh, yes, I will. He will not get one. There's not one person in the story. You literally go, you made fun of Iowa.

And then you go, ah, nobody from Iowa watches this anyway. I love Iowa. I was just joking. A hundred emails. In Iowa, Iowa, I was like one of my brothers. Like, I joke with them. Like, we're super close. We have a love understanding.

That is kind of Willie's love language. If he, like, makes fun of you or he, that means he likes you. That's kind of his language. I love all the cities and I. I love Des Moines. I love Cedar Rapids. All the others, all those other cities in Iowa. Trying to get people.

Guys. You got the Hawkeyes, you got Iowa State. I feel like I did. Other stuff in Iowa. Corn. I mean, who doesn't love corn? I try. Who doesn't love corn?

Everybody likes corn. Great little super. It would make a great Christmas. I love it. Is it a square state? It's like a small square. It's right in the middle. You don't even know what Iowa looks like?

I don't even know what it looks like. That's how close we are. No, you don't know what it looks like. Because we're so close I don't even pay attention anymore. It's like that's my brother. That's my little brother, Iowa. Like when Corey gets a hair. It's right there.

Right there somewhere in the middle of the country. Exactly. Doing what he does. No, after that episode you were on, I was like, hey, Willie, I was listening. Hey, I would check it in here. I was just scrolling through them. So good folks of Iowa, I got your back.

Number one, every pillow we had smelled like pee. Oh. Sorry that. And had duck lights up. Hey, here's the deal. We both wet the bed, but I had a nose spray to make me stop. Uh-oh. That's the difference between me.

What? I did a nose spray every night before bed, so I wouldn't. wet to bed. My mom put on plastic sheet. I've never heard of that. We had no spray. I also never had a worm or cockroach crawl in my ear while I was sleeping. Did you ever get worms?

Did you have to do the deworming pill? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out. Time out. I had some. That's got to be another. No, time out. Let's take a break. Who here was deworming?

That's, just think about it. We'll find that out in here in about 20 seconds. So what you're telling me is you were taking ivermectin before it was cool. That's right. I mean, that's what you deworm stuff with is Ivermectin. Does it make your mouth red? Oh, I don't. These pills made your teeth red, tongue red.

Everything was red, and it was dewormer. Mine was purple. But the beauty of the internet is, is this I think I can Google. I want to know somebody out there, surely somebody from Missouri or Northern Arkansas, was dewormed as a child. You were dewormed with a purple? It was purple. This one was red.

And it was the most nastiest. Oh, this was. was awful. You just about throw up, trying to get it down. But did you have worms? Like, I was full of worms. I don't know. I don't know.

You were full of them? Yeah. What were you doing? How did you find? If you had put up on me, I don't want to get. Is that the worms? Is that why it's bred into humans? Like, when you take a dump, you stand up, you look at it?

Yeah. You're checking for worms. When it moves about six inches after you've done it, yeah, you got worms. So it was swimming. Yeah. Oh. I don't, oh my. Is this like, is I my only one?

Oh my. I had pillow cases. I don't know. I want to hear these emails. I don't know. I know there's other people. Yeah, then we'd have to take the worm pills and. So what all parasites did you have as a kid?

You had worms? No, y'all had a lice problem there for a while. Oh, we had, lice was like. They just lived there. Lice was like Friday. That's why Phil cut our hair. He just took the clippers and shaved that mess off. He's like, all right, boys, somebody's got a lion.

Everybody line up. Everybody got a buzz. Wow. So this is not how it went down up in the, when you were in the... No, not on the street you live on, sir. And you had your monogrammed initials on your door as you walked in this one. No, I had Dan Marley on my door, thank you. Oh, my goodness.

So you confirmed had worms. and lice. Yeah. Werves for sure. Oh, lice. Yeah. All the time.

That's crazy. I ain't ever. Did John have a lice all the time? Hmm. If you know. I had it one time. I obviously don't have a very hospitable environment for lice up there. So,

lice don't survive on the moon. Yeah. Yeah. Then I had the roach. Yeah. I had a roach crawl in my ear. Hit my, um,

ear drum. That's not fun. And didn't your dad, like, pour syrup in your ears? No. I'm scrote. screaming. I'm, I don't, I don't, I don't, I can't see anything. All I know is my head feels like

is fixing to explode. And so dad's like, mom's like, what's wrong with him? And so, and I can't even, I can't keep my head straight. You don't be quiet. I'm on whoop. Well, it was all that. Then he like, okay, he's actually really hard. And then so he, he turns my head to the side and he starts pouring something. I don't know what he's pouring in there. Well, it's the cure all of cure all's camphophonite. Yep. He just pours it in my ear. Yep.

And what happened was, everything just got, it didn't like make the pain go away exactly, but everything just got slower. And so I'm like, it still hurts. And so finally Phil says, take him to the hospital.

I don't know what's wrong with him. So we go up there and the dude looks in my ear and he goes, it's a giant ball of wax. And I'm like, oh, that's embarrassing. But I'm like, why does this hurt? So,

why would wax hurt that bad? And then he said, wait a minute, it's got hair. And I'm like, huh? And he said, it's got wings. And when he said it's got wings, I'm like, hang on. And he goes, it's alive. And so now we know something is living in my ear.

So we went from wax to hairball to flying hairball. He was just seeing this blob. So he reached in these tweezers and he grabs a hold. What it was is a water roach. And it had literally just. Oh, one and big. Yeah. And he crawled out my ear.

and just disappear, like Star Trek 2. And so he reaches in with these tweezers, and he starts pulling that sucker out. And I'm going to tell you something. When something is coming out of your earhole, you've never felt pressure. I mean, it feels like your head's fishing to explode. So I'm screaming, and then it just went, pop,

and he pops that thing out. Immediate, right. Yeah, and then he, but for an hour, he had to dig out legs and wings and I mean whatever else fell off in my ear. Ah, from the struggle. Because I left the door open and I left my light on. So I'm sleeping like mouth open. I've got no telling how many insects crawling on top of me.

Oh, that's four inches from crawling in your mouth. That'd have been a way better path. That's two inches of a plate. Yeah. You don't want him going in your ears. Especially because I didn't know he was in. I didn't know what I didn't know what was. I mean, I thought I was.

ain't check your ear. No. Like that's, most of you. So Phil, when he poured the Campofanique in my ear, it kind of like drowned him a little bit. Like he, he's still kind of moving. Yeah, but he's like, now he's got all this liquid. I know what you're talking about because when we filmed that Redneck Water Park thing for Duck Dynasty, they had us go off that stupid rope swing.

Yeah. Well, the mature athlete I am landed on my side. The mature. And I did. I knocked, apparently I had a bunch of old earwax or something in my ear. and I knocked a big wax plug in my ear, so I'm like, oh, God, oh, God, this hurts. I remember that.

I mean, it was terrible. You said, I got water mirror. I can't get it out. I couldn't get it out. I could never get it out. And so I went to the doctor next day. And the way they got that thing out, he just shot more water up in there behind it to get it out.

That's what they shoot water, yeah. And when he put, when he put that pressure on the inside of my ear, I thought I was going to pass out. I was like, I mean, I just, it, it, like, paralyzed me. I was like, but then as soon as that ball come out, everything was good.

Yeah, that's the way it was. There's always been a bunch of weirdos at the Robertson's homes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we're like a magnet from.

It's a, for strange people. You say we. Which side are you on that? Like, are you the weirdos side or the Robertson side? Or both? Or both?

Both. Yeah, both. Are those mutually exclusive of one another? Y'all got to. of like a weird magnet for strange humans. You got it too. You got it bad. That's why I said the Robertson family.

And I'll take full credit. You are some of my collectibles. I'm in on that whole little list of weirdos. Well, no, he kept enough of us normal ones around to make the weird ones not seem so bad. I'm somewhere in between probably. Because there's no such thing

as normal. Well, first, I wonder if I have a friend, unless it's going, wait a minute, am I? They wouldn't be listening. Yeah, normal, yeah. Ones that we're talking about wouldn't be. Maybe normal is wrong. Stable is maybe the word I was looking for.

About eight years ago, Willie and Corey gotten a big argument on, is Willie normal? And he was like, of course I'm normal. Was that the question? Yeah, it was over the word normal. And you were like, you looked at me and were like, John David, I'm normal, aren't I? And I was like, I'm totally normal. Come on, man. Does being an eccentric not make sense?

Make you normal. You different, bro. I'm not, I would say he's... I'm a normal person ever. Like... You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. Willie Robertson, quote the most normal person. I just said normal, like a normal...

That's why I said, that's why I made the statement. There's no such thing as normal. I'm trying to think of who I would classify as the most normal person ever, then compare you to them. Yeah. Normal guy. You're normal? Yeah.

What are you going to come up with? No, I know. I'm weird. No, I know I'm a nerd. You don't think you're normal? He knows that he can go get a snake out of his drain pipe right now. The definition of normal is. Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know. I don't think, I obsess over goofy things.

So I don't think, I think that takes me out of the normal category. People call me. Like needing to know plants and animals and like, there's just stuff that it, it, I mean, you're smart. I mean, you can be. Well, but see. Yeah, but all that is. But I nerd out. There's different between being small.

and then like actually go like doing what I do with. Like taking seeds out of ducks, gizzards and growing them in a pot just so I can see what they're eating. Like that's, well, no, that's too far. That's weird. That's what I'm saying.

No, that's actually smart. And this confirms that it's weird. Right. No, it ain't weird. Like, no. That's weird. That's normal.

Like, no. I understand it's not. No, no, because my, when you said that, a vivid picture popped up in my head. Uh-oh. You know, we're on Lake Darbone. Oh, boy.

When I was in college, with Phil. Tommy and Harold and, you know, a whole family might near it. But anyway, he was the boat? Hey,

he throws the first cast catches about a pounder. As soon as he riled him in, he grabs the filet knife that he had stuck in a boat and filet it right quick, and then you see him cut in the stomach, and he's going through it with a knife.

And then the induct on the east, hey, riddle it on him. boom he cranked at 20 horse micro up down the lake we go he said i said what will you do it he said seeing what they was eating and he said and i know where a bunch of it is so hey we run down there he shuts the motor off and then we called about all filled a 62 quarter a cooler up would not normal we mean not normal it's just that's smart hey this segment brought to you by What is? Honey hole outdoor.

We have a human billboard right here. If you want to catch good things, open up the guts and look at what's it. What is he's feet actually? Artificial bait. Honey hole, right? Honey hole. Well, he calls me a billboard because I always am wearing my work uniform.

This man's got both of his logos tattooed on his arms. And wearing another one right in the middle of his chest. So I'm at two and you're at three. And you can buy this shirt. This is the shirt at dot commander.com. Speaking of. Turn your cup around and show it. What?

It's got your own. Red white and blue, man. The other side's got his own face. Hey, that's just for him to look at what's why I know what he looked like. He's got his own face on his cup. And you've got your name on yours. That's right.

That's remind me who I am. I got a very nondescript bottle here. None of us are normal. No, no. I think that's where we're at. I think if we were, you wouldn't have a microphone. We've decided none of this foursome is normal. No way.

I still feel like I'm... You've got to come up. Not normal. We've got to define... We've got to get that man a straw. No. Okay. You got to define normal.

What is the definition? That's just like you have to... Right. To settle this, we'll go, okay. First, you got to... I mean, is God when normal? Usual, typical, or expected? Normal.

Usual, typical. Typical. Unusual, untypical. Non-tipical. Very unexpected. Everything you do throws me for a loop. So I think we're there now. I'll say this.

The antenams of what you just said, the unusual and all that, definitely describe his cooking. Yeah. Like unexpected. What is in the, oh, I was not expecting that. Well, he's like, I'm totally normal. Hey, we got you a few rib-eyes shipped over from Japan for Christmas. What did you do with them?

I melted them in gravy and put them in a roast. No, made soup. That's normal. Made soup. Just a normal everyday guy thing. I felt like I'm ahead of the game on that one. I still feel like I'm... An innovator.

I figured something out. Right. Like, just put the better meat in whatever it is. So are you, in fact, a renaissance man then? Little inside, I know. Oh, shoot. Are you a renaissance murder or a jack-of-all-trane? Then why is it,

all right, Martin, you're a unnormal, super smart guy. Why is it that I feel I'm normal? Because I think that level of normal is all self, it's a self-definition of what normal is. You feel, I feel normal, but I know if I look back at myself, I am not, if I'm looking at me from the outside,

I'm like, no, that cat ain't normal. I mean, just. You think you're normal because you were raised by fill inside. You're like, oh, way more normal than those guys, which, you know, probably. And a pack of dogs. And maybe that's why we surround ourselves with such eccentric characters. So that you feel a little like, well, I'm better than him. I'm better off than that cat.

I took a shower three times this week. Must be normal. Hey, I'm a C plus man. I'm smarter than half of them. See, there you go. Hey, there you go. So at some boy, though, you're pulling out of your body and you're looking at yourself. Or just on your own cup.

Do that and then understand that you're not normal. Yeah. But inside your, when your brain is inside yourself, you feel like you are normal. I think so. Yeah, I think that. I think everybody would agree with that to some extent. As long as you're being yourself, you just think that's normal. Mm-hmm.

That is what normal is because your definition. And I'll say this, you're being yourself. Every time I'm ever around you, I'm like, hey, it's just Willie. That's just what he does. So it's normal for you. You know, even though y'all have enlightened me some, I still felt like I'm normal. You know why I wore the flame boots. I know this story.

We've been waiting for a good reason for a very long time. So I was in, I was at the Santa Monica Pier and I'm walking by these, it was like a shoe store, and I just picked up the boot, all right? And I'm looking and goes, hey, hey, I can give you a good deal. And then I'm like, shoot, why did I pick it out? You know, I'm like, I don't need a sales pitch. And I'm like, now, and I'm just looking. I'm just looking.

And he said, that's my, he said, those are my Cinderella is my last pair. And I said, yeah, cool, you know. And I said, I'm not interested. And then he looks at me and he goes, you put those boots on, you'll be on fire. Just like that. And I thought, ooh. And so I looked at Corey and she said, you will never wear those. If you buy them, you're never going to wear them.

And I wore them. Totally normal thing to do. 14,000 times. You wore them every day. Because she said I would never wear them. Then I wore them. I think the biggest question there is how much did those cost? $80.

Okay. Oh, hey, bad. 20 of that went to Harley Davidson. They were the last pair. Like they were like, they were discounted. That's real. You're on fire. Wait a minute.

That's not them. No, because he had flames on the toes. I don't say Doug Dynasty boots? No, I just Googled your name. Oh, never. Yeah. See, look, there you are. They are.

Oh, yeah. Is that them? Yeah, that's 100% them. Do you have a lot of red toad boots? Those aren't them. Those are a different pair I have. Well, once I started, like, people would give them to me, and there were different versions, and but there were there were three different versions of that like but the OG one was

Harley Davidson right yeah the originals are Harley Davidson yeah that's what I thought so this is what happens the boss come and kicked the door down while ago acting like we's on Doug Dinus they gave all of us a heart attack again but we do need it okay because we have an issue okay that we're discussing technically we don't okay well I've got a big issue you've got many issues I have said on this podcast, okay, and I was rebuked by some chef in New York. I said, hey, I like when I order my steak,

I order it medium plus. Well, the chef in New York said there's no such thing. And I said, I beg your pardon, sir. You don't know what you're talking about. I wouldn't eat nothing. You cook. But anyway, Medium plus? Medium plus.

Okay, not medium well. This guy, he's eating everywhere around. What is medium? What is that? Thank you. That's, hey, when you order the steak, when I said, sir, how would you like your steak? I always say, I want it light pink in the middle. Hey, I don't care if it's...

Medium well. No. No, don't let me say the word well. Because then you're going to have a shoe. No, you started with medium. It's medium plus. Medium plus is a person who wants to wear a medium shirt but can't quite fit in that. No.

So they need to look extra. No. You got the extra right. Like I would be an extra large plus. No, no. No, you got the extra right. Okay. I don't want it medium rare.

So I just made up a word. No, no. That's a tube it. Let's tell me. I don't want it medium rare. I don't want it running red blood. I want it light. Well, no.

Everything you're saying is the way you can cook something. You're saying I don't want it rare. That's it. That's the word that's associated with it. why I put, not well. You don't want it well. No,

Harry, I don't use it. You want it medium. I don't want it. But on the medium, it could be medium. I don't ever want it. Medium rare.

Because when you say well, they're going to burn it, okay, where it's dried out and it's boot leather. Well, that's what they're just using the wrong word. No. Plus means plus what.

It's just a bad, which I know, I mean, you're not a worse method. Technically you're not really educated. I'm just saying you're, you're putting a word in there that doesn't.

Well, hey, let me ask you this. When I say medium raw, what is that going to say to you? What is that going to say to you? Well, if you told me that and I were cooking it, I still would have to go the first thing you said, which is medium. So I know that it's not raw.

That would be rare. So still the medium, you're not giving enough credit to the word when you say medium. A chef, Well, hey. Okay, I know where he wants to be. The reason I say that is because I said, okay,

I'm telling them what the steak should look like. Okay, when I say medium plus, okay, they should be thinking, okay. Medium way. Just a little pass, yo, medium. See, I just wouldn't know what that plus what, like me. That makes no sense to me. Because you could put whatever word you, you could say medium fair, medium right now. Hey, that's the reason I said I actually give them a color.

Okay. Medium plus is telling them, hey, I want it cooked a little bit more longer than you medium rare. I don't want it rare. It's okay to say medium well. They know then you still want. Hey, anytime I put well on it, it would be like cutting this right here, scabbard. Well, that's what I'm trying to eat it. Well, perhaps you're just.

You can't eat it. You've been damaged by somebody in the past that cooked, you know, and you had that one experience, and now you're trying to say everybody. Well, no, no. Why don't you understand when I say, okay, when you said, sir, how would you like your steak? I said, hey, how thick is the steak to begin with? The guy says, three inches. I said, I want it light pink in the middle.

That's medium well. Nope, nope. You can't use the word well. or it's going to come back tough as boot livers. Technically, that is medium. They're going to burn it dry. I think you're feeling insecure because you don't want to say well.

No. You like a steak medium well. That's what you like. No. But you don't like that you are that guy, but you're that guy. The medium well has got no pink in anywhere. It's the color of this boat.

It's leather. And it takes just like it. No. No, that's well done. Oh, hey. No, that's just all the juice is cooking out of it. You're putting the wrong describers. Hey, you might as well just, hey, here, let me take my belt off and I'll eat my own belt.

Ooh, here, come in a knife. You don't know, I'll cut this and eat it because that's what you're cooking. That's well. That's well. So we're going to lose the plus because that doesn't, that's not a good qualifier. Well, hey, I've described what I want. So you. So you stand.

Well, if I'm at a nice restaurant, I go, look. Hey, these dummies can't bring the light pink to me. But, but, Hey, what is your problem? We can always, I think, get to where you want, so I'd probably order a little bit more because you can still get it there. Because once you've gone to pass, you can't go back.

If you ever put well on a steak, you're fixing to have a belt to eat. Well, this is what you do. Next time you go to a place, order one medium, cut in it and say, no, just a little more. Well, why don't I just tell them, hey, light pink in the middle?

Or just don't get the steak. What do you don't understand about light pink and milk? Hey, look, why, you got it on the grill? Don't you just eat chicken, side. Yeah, you got it on the grill. I told you all right. Eat chicken, eat fish. Hey, thank you for it.

Cut it a little and say, oh, it's light pink. Okay, here we go. Take it to him. It's light pink. It's ready. Medium plus. Okay, that's my judgment. Is that all I'm needed?

Your judgment was wrong. I was just wondering where you stood on it. I thought. Yeah. Be another judge. He don't know what he's talking about either. I was hoping that maybe, you know, the rest of the world and Dale Jr. were wrong and somebody

had heard of Medium Plus before. Because Dale Jr. just talked about this on his podcast. Oh, I don't know. He had one of his. Is that some, the people, what we have here is a failure to communicate. One of the people that worked for him, they went, he took everybody out to dinner. You don't know how to interpret.

And his employee ordered a stake, medium plus. And he says it should be banned. It's not a real term. Yeah, I think that's just, everybody's trying to use that word. But that's a platform, that's a network. Somebody like, sigh, goes, that's a cool word. I'm going to work that in somewhere I go, you know.

So then he orders this, like, that's not even a word, dude. It just made me wonder if, like, the person that works on Dale Jr.'s team listened to Cy, because he's talked about this before. And up until this man, I had never remotely heard the term medium plus. It's medium well. Have you ever heard the term light pink? I'm not the one you're arguing with cooking. I'm just asking.

You don't have to put, hey, you don't want to hit a bad button on me, buddy. I don't want my hair. You can keep saying that as long as you say I'm going to like, now I can see if I was telling you exactly what color. I can see it if I could speak in German. We have an interpreter doing it. Y'all can't, we need an interpreter for the English language.

We need an interpreter for you. I know that's for sure. Hey, folks, what does the term light pink? me to you. Medium well. It's medium plus. Ain't it funny what he stands on

and what he doesn't? Thanks, boss. We appreciate you. All right. Get back to work. Now get back to work. All right. Let's take another break.

We'll be back. Hey, we'll need another break. So, hey, don't be jealous. Mine's way better. My former right-hand man walked in with this dude and said he had no idea.

That that's what you were going on. That's what I did. Is that what you? months ago. That's how you introduced it to me was a mullet, so I don't. I just thought you were letting your hair grow back out. Well, yeah. Well, yeah.

In the back of. When you can see skin on the sides, that's the first sign of a mullet. Do you cut yours yourself? No. I get it professionally done. Just whack it. It's done. I look like he went a little heavier on the right to the left.

Who knows? It was late. 1030. board. I said, I'm going to cut my beard. Then I was like, this is a lot of hair. I'm going to cut it too. But then I couldn't see the back. And I was like, might as well try it up. You didn't think about the fact that I had a mullet as well.

No. Okay. Never crossed my mind. Because I remember when you came over the house before I hired you 10 years ago. That was long ago. Like 20. No. No, when I hired him.

20 years ago, he was like a child. Plus 13. No, 34. Oh. Now, when he comes over, he's, you know, he's got like a short, little haircut and no beard. And then... That's not true. Did he have pants on? Yeah. I had on the year. You know, look at him. He has a gigantic beard. Now, you didn't have that massive thing. Well, it had to grow. So then everything grew out. And, and then when you moved on to your next profession, you shorned everything. You look all clean. I've been doing that, though. Now I look up and you've got a ginormous mullet.

When I left the store a minute ago, I'm just going to say you're welcome. Three mullets in the store. I mean, I think what it goes to show you is you are very much an influencer. Maybe, yes. How does that make it? Here I am claiming this and like me and you look like we're on a 13-year-old travel baseball team. So like, I don't know who's following who.

So we may be really late to the party. 13-year-old traveled But I am living out what I wanted to do When I was 14 And my mom wouldn't Which is weird Think back It's not that she wouldn't let me have

Nobody cared what your hair She wouldn't take me To get it cut Just do it yourself Well we didn't have the resources You grew up with your own bedroom With your own furniture and all that We grew up

You didn't have scissors In a shack with nothing sharp to cut our own hair. No scissors. Nothing without fish guts on it. Well, no, I mean. Every knife they had. It wasn't until I met a friend in school who could cut hair that I started getting that.

But I didn't have this, like, I wanted this full big thing. Back when it was really hot. Back when it was the thing. 89. Back when Billy Ray was Billy Ray. Billy Ray. And I did get that I looked like Billy Ray. In fact, I went to his hometown somewhere in Kentucky.

And they were like, you got to go to this Applebeast because they're going to think it's him. But I was, I had a lot of people think, I look like, well, we can't just brush over this. Applebees? Billy Ray Cyrus. That's where apparently when he goes, it's somewhere in northeast Kentucky, I don't know, somebody I'm sure. Be fair. Makes a lot of sense. And somebody said when he's in town, he goes to, I'm pretty sure it's the Applebees.

I don't. Must be trying to have family dinner. I wonder if he gets his bourbon steak with onions and mushroom. I like think of it. I was in college, so that was like way back in the, that was back in the day. You had a mullet in college? Yeah. I mean, of course they did.

Oh, not a big one. Not a full grown one. I think they need to come back. Well. Because you could just, because normally I cut my, I've cut my own hair. You cut my hair a couple times just for funzies. We get bored and my hair changes. That's because it'll grow back.

What's your wife say? So she went to bed and then I had nothing to do and basketball was off the TV and I was like, I guess I'll go trim my beard up. And then I was looking at it, I was like, might as well cut my hair too. And I was like, I always cut a mullet anyway. You always start. Yeah, you always, when you got long hair and you cut it, you do something ridiculous. It's like when.

And then I just stop. It's like when restaurants don't have an unsweet tea. I'm like, that's where it started. It started there and then you sweet it. So you had it at one point. You had it and then you left it. You possessed the ability. You possessed the ability.

I'm sorry, we don't have that, you know. So then. You did. But now you don't. But sugar. You know, I've been here for a year. So you hung on to it. But when she woke up and when you're born in routine.

Before me, I walked in there and said, hey, she goes, are you filming me right now? That was her exact. That's the only thing she said. And then she started laughing. I said, I mean, I got it. She liked it? I don't believe so. She kissed me on the way out and said

I love you and you're terrible I mean it doesn't mean your marriage is over I mean godly I do I mean she still loves you You know But she said and your mullet So I don't think she meant

That she loves the mullet So here's my question for you If she doesn't like it Do you cut it off And please her She did say she might go on strike Which yeah Then it's gone

Wow See, I'm just the opposite. If Corey says I hate that, I'm like, then get used to it. So she didn't like it. And so she goes, how long are you going to keep that? I'm like, I don't know. You still not like it? So I'm just the opposite.

But I'll just give you time for it to grow on you. I think you should grow a mullet, sigh. No, I ain't growing a boat. I mean, you already had one. Well, he had like a. Most of mine's falling out, so I ain't worth it. Like a. He had like a whiskey.

Sculletronic. Whispy mature mullet. I'm pretty sure mine and size times have passed a grow a mullet. Did you ever have one? No. Not even as a kid? Mm-mm.

No, I had lines cutting my hair, aerodynamics. You know, or you could be faster in the husky section. That way you could get to those 38s first. But I'll say this. When I was like 14, my hair did not grow as good as it grows now. Like, wasn't as full. I got a lot. The more mature I got, the more.

because my mullet in like my senior picture was a mullet but everything grew to the right so it was like nice mullet on the right zero on the left kind of like size beard like size of wait I have a bubble off but a mirror but a mirror image but it wasn't until I grew my hair out there and it was curly I thought I had straight hair

how would you know until you grew it out kept it short for a lot of times you've had a lot of interesting hair dues though I mean you've had well I still got it I'm just going keep messing with it. You've went bleach blonde, you've had frosted tips. The bleach blonde was pretty recent. Yeah, I know. I did that last year? Last Halloween or something. And then it

stayed for a while. I'd stay until it grew out. Yeah, it had a lot more staying power than I thought. Yeah, I thought that was like a party thing. I'd make a Mohawk. I've had a Mohawk. I always one of one. I never did quite pull. Oh, no. Growing up,

every summer, that's what we got Hall of Robertson. Mohawks Mohawks Really And I mean It was all the way down You know

So aside from summer Mohawks have you ever Had any questionable Haircuts No You're a military man So they kind of Controlled what you did

For most of your life They are And they're not very nice About cutting your hair either They're mean about it Oh Well they just Hey

One guy sat out in the chair Next me And they just And hey He had one of big warts On top of red just blud everywhere Zipped it off

Oh no It's blood's part and everywhere His best impression of his dad Is We have that video We have that video A lot of foolishness Going on here

A lot of Laughing tomfoolery Going on Before we get into the floor A lot of jokesters here A lot of joky jokesters here Funny ha ha ha ha ha Funny stuff

You boys are regular comedians. Y'all should do a show. We're trying to. He's going to keep character for it. I know. I was going to try before that he went into that to get, I know him and Sire going hunting today. Together?

No. Against one another. Against one another. It's a battle. It's a competition and, hey, it's already decided. Okay. I'm winning. Where's the competition at?

It's on field. property? My property. I have a hard time losing on my property. Well, it's just going to happen today. You boys, going after them big bucks. Hey, that's it. Hey. It's not how big.

It's how many. You should have been with us yesterday. Uh-oh. We didn't see, but 50. 50 deer? 50 deer. Eight bucks. three of them was big ones one of them was a old one and we would have shot him if he had come up there

you know in a little little closer range 700 was too much at dark it's kind of like this podcast hey three big ones one old one well look I take it back that's your best lot of I had no idea where that was I'll fix hey you get what you get once you get boys to figure out how this was 700 yards to dart. I had no idea. Hey. I tell you this. Because I love you.