Duck Call Room - Uncle Si & John Crist Debate if Taylor Swift Is the New Dolly Parton

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

Uncle Si stuns John Crist — and the whole room — with a sock confession no one saw coming. John invites Si, Martin, John-David and the whole gang to be his VIP guests at an upcoming stand-up show in Shreveport, but after hearing some of Si’s wild stories, he might just rethink the invite! The boys debate who could possibly fill Dolly Parton’s legendary boots, and a wild animal story from the Monroe zoo might just make its way into John’s next comedy routine. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Remember last time we had him? Like three people got mad at us because they didn't know who he was. It took me 30 minutes to realize who I was sitting next through to be fair. Last time. We had an intro or something? Well, we never did. Oh, yeah. I just assumed people knew who John Chris was.

I think, oh, who's this guy? I got a couple nasty emails saying, well, y'all didn't even introduce your guests. How are we supposed to know who he is? And I was like, turn on your phone. Oh, yeah. Open Instagram? Yeah.

Facebook. Yeah. Turn on. Yeah. Do you watch anything that makes fun of Chick-fil-A? Because if you do, you've seen him. Do you have an Enneagram? It's in my department.

Oh, yeah. What happened to anygram? Did I take them down? I thought I ended them. I was rooting for you. I took it. That's it. I'm a 10.

Anyway. Welcome back to the duck car room, ladies and gentlemen. We are back with our, I'm going to be so boldest to call them our friend. John Christ is back in the house. I don't know if he would say that outside of this one. No, no. I got a random text from a weird number. What is it?

Like six months ago. I was like, hey man, John Chris, new number. And I was like, I'm going to sell this. Oh, yeah, you're in. And I was like, I am in. I didn't even get Willie's new number. Yeah, if you make the new number list, that's big time. And if you, and if you, I would say a new number is, uh, either you made some great choices or some poor choices.

So where would you classify? It's one of the two. Because either you're like, oh, I'm very, much more popular than it used to be or. Got to get rid of a bold friend. Or there's people looking for me. George Jones said it best. The choice is how I make. Yeah.

There you go. You got to live and die. Hey, you got to live or die with them. If Si said I got a new number, what would you think? Good or bad? So, like, this, I may actually, I don't know if I've deleted all of Sy's numbers. Size's got a couple.

He does. I've got Willie Old, Willie New and Willie Noon in my phone. Yeah. And you're texting me from that up. I don't even know what my number is. Well, I can give it there, by if you won't do it. I've cleaned up some of them. because I got Cy Robertson and a Cy Robertson new.

But there's been many. And they're all landlines. Oh, don't work for me anyway. Yeah, it's not your thing. I ain't worried one way. All you do is text. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

No. Yeah. That's a pet peeve to me. You just made a man. I said, hey, you, I said, why did y'all let me know? Two minutes. I said, oh, we text you. I said, hey, you know I don't text.

Oh, yeah. Do you, do you TikTok? No. No. somebody's been telling me you need to because of the Chinese well I don't know who because of but hey you know hey I used to take it ain't doing it ain't doing it well how's he stand-up comic big oh yeah well I got a show in Shreveport you want to come do some time up front tell some stories you can intro it yeah that would be awesome

opener when is it it's in April how are you up between now and then to get five minutes of a routine together I had to get with Phillip see if we want to drive over. That'd be a year. Oh, I thought you were saying Philip for like the routine. I was not a good idea. He will drive you.

If he had to do five, what would he do? It just depends on if it would take a weird political turn or not. Where are you going to be at in Antreveport? Margaritaville. Yeah, I don't know. Let me look. Horses. Is there a, there's a casino there?

Yeah, a few of them. Yeah. I'm not going there. I'm not going there. I'm not going there. I got bad news. Lock both of your doors. It's bad.

Shreport? I thought it was the Strand. The Strand Theater. Never heard of it. I don't know where that's it. But I don't spend time over there, but I'm sure we can find it. For a good reason. I don't guess that's for the restaurant and food.

That's in April. Around Bozer. We're in. Yeah. Size's in. I will open for you. How far is that an hour? Yeah.

About an hour 20. Yeah. I'm probably going to have to bring my wife over there for that. Yeah, come through. Just. We'll save you a section. Hold on. We get a whole section.

A whole section. But last time we didn't introduce him and some of our fans got mad. Yeah. We did not introduce. So I did it right off the rip this thing. Well, no, but I've decided to list off some of his great accomplishments according to Wikipedia. I can't wait for this. Wikipedia.

His first job was at a Chick-fil-A restaurant, but he was fired for using his arm to stir the lemonade. That is true. That is true. Why is that on your Wikipedia? I don't know. You can take that down. Did you write it yourself? Oh, no.

What did you get fired for? I was stirring up the lemonade with my hand instead of the spoon. And then my boss called me. Hey, I just said, hey, I'm putting love in it. Well, there you go. There you go. All good food. Hey, that's why grandmama's food is so good.

Yeah, cooked you with their hands. She put John's hand. He put it together with her hands, you idiots. Like a piece of, like some bread. You do it yourself. Yeah, no gloves back there. Yeah, I ain't no gloves now. No.

And he got his first performance at a Chili's. That is true. There you go. That is true. In Pueblo, in Pueblo, Colorado. Do you know how brave you have to be to do stand-up comedy in front of people drinking Chili's margaritas? Oh, yeah. I would say stand-up comedy would actually get me to visit a Chili's again.

That's a... It's a... It is. But it's not very good. I'm in American cuisine. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Their tortilla chips have no tensile strength. That's blasphemy, man.

No what? No, you dip them and they just break. Like, oh, it ain't nothing worse than guys. The dip chips don't break. But the sauce is phenomenal. And part B of that. You're still on them Southwestern Air Rolls, ain't you? Yes.

Me and House. They didn't change them out for a free dose. Samplers came over. Free dough dips. Yeah. Oh, well. We went to Chili's for the first time in decades. Yeah, because somebody graduated.

Oh. No. We're like, we're going to Chile. Everybody got an adjimication. Whoa, just on a regular night? Yeah, we're doing it. Special occasions only. We're going to Chili's.

How well is this pod doing? Pretty good. After that, we were going to a minor league hockey game. That's how good we're doing. That's a night. Which he's a sponsor of. Yeah. I'm on the ice, my friend.

So we're walking into Chili's. There's tables open everywhere. And I'm like, yep, I'm about to live like a king again. Oh, yeah. And the only thing is, it'll be a, it's just as chili right now. There's what the robot? No, they. That ain't in Chili?

No. Oh, they bring it to you? The robot brings you. But Chili's, they don't do anything because it was an hour and 45 minute wait. What about that on here? What had that then? Oh, no, that's the sauce of cat robot. Yeah.

That's a little place we called the Hat. Oh, I thought that was Chili. Also known as El Sombrero, but loosely translated to the hat. Chili's had an hour and 45 minute wait. And I've never been ashamed to be from West Monroe until that moment. I was like, are we really, are there people waiting an hour and a half? I thought that happened that time, me and you went on the observation mission at the Golden Corral because that was pretty shameful.

Observation mission. Well, we ate a little bit. We really just wanted, we had never been in Golden Corral. And when we were the smallest people in there, that's a problem. Yeah. Why was the wait so long? At Chili's? Yeah.

You said, don't wait. But, no, he's bad. Plunt, pun! Man, you really bring out the best in this guy, man. Catch him at the best in this guy, well. Catch him at the, you. whatever, it's Stran Theater in April sometime in Trichael. I don't need him to open.

I'm going to take that joke. Better be careful. That's like a, that's like a, have you around like a line outside of like a, like a nightclub or a bar? And they go, there's a line. You go, actually, I'm going home. Yeah. I don't want to get a Bud Light in there for $7. I'll just go home.

At the gas station by my house, they sell them way cheap. For $3.50. Yeah, that they put them in a bag. Yeah. What a life. yeah i'm trying to think of the best restaurant in the line it's it's how long actually i'm good yeah i then i went next door to outback and they said 15 minutes and i looked the girl in eyes and said no it ain't worth that not not even close outback's no how long sigh if you said there's a

line you can meet trump how long would you wait no no i'm not i'm not a line person yeah i respect that dude you're not doing for the president for the president i don't even know yo i don't even know if jeez Jesus was there. I don't even know if I probably would stand in line for him. I hope you, you've been waiting 78 years from that. Oh, big dog. Yeah.

Yeah. So it said, wait in this line for 10 minutes for Trump. You're out. You're out. I like that. I respect that. I respect it. I feel like I had said, though, when everybody was just trashing him and wouldn't

didn't even recognize him the last time he's the president. Yeah. I said, you idiots don't know what you're looking at. Yeah. He and he said, that man's going to be he will go down in history as one of our best. But you're not waiting 10 minutes to shake his hand? No.

I'll watch him on TV. Hey, the boy is good at what he does. He said, hey, tell him, Si said, what's up? I said, do you realize there was a time he'd had to wait an hour to meet me, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, no, you talk about that. When I went to what,

can you think of the name of the... Yeah, it's the sports deal. We're just in Alabama. Virginia. Yeah. Virginia checks. But anyway, we're driving. And, hey, like, you know, 10 miles from where we're supposed to go,

you know, the traffic is just horrific. It's just, you know, bumper to bumper and ain't moving. 10 miles? Yeah, yeah. Humble brag alert. What in the world is going on? And the driver turned around and he said, hey, idiot, they're all coming to see you. Yeah, 10 miles of traffic.

And I said, what? Who are these people? I said, yeah, I said, hey, they need to get a laugh. Yeah. They're going to be let down. That's what I say when they meet me. No, no. That was the day that, hey, they run, what?

I think we run 6,000 people actually got my autograph and picture. No wonder you're tired. No, no. And I said, hey, it's carpal tunnel. That day I said, guys, I don't know who was in charge of this, but don't ever let this happen again. Yeah. Who is like? This was too much.

I couldn't even enjoy it because I never, I never raised. my head. I was like this and they're cooking oxygen ever since. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking and y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's

because of our friends over at Tritels beef makes such a good product ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson, would say buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever,

was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look,

the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire. all you need look because i'll tell you what when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a

living you can taste the difference the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic so if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season go check out try tails beef i know in size case christine loves it which is just a uh she doesn't eat she and a big meat either folks yeah just go to try beef.com slash that's try beef.com slash duck support ranch families and eat some dang good steak who is the people in that lineup that if one of one or two of them said i can't make the meet and greet is like i will still do it we'll be fine without you where does the where's the priority of is it willie who's first sigh and then uh i still work here i can't answer every one of them passes my house before they go through their gate so i don't want stuff right i don't have a but he's family he can

talk about it yeah i don't have a guy no they need hey look they're all below me okay correct like they ain't got what i got i'm like trump I've got it, baby. I'm like Trump. And I studied it too. He's Trump, Willie's Elon Musk, and, uh, hey, Corey's JD-Bank. Eddie Vance. I was waiting on what you were going to call Jay.

No, Jay's ain't, Jay's. Hey, Jay's ain't him in a running. He's RFCA. Oh. Jace. We're going around, chombed in the neighborhood. Hey, don't get me wrong. He's a good kid, but he ain't any of running.

Oh, good Lord of mercy. Jace is RFK. Jace is for sure RFK. Yeah, they do have the same. He's in shape, but then he takes his shirt off and you're not sure anymore. Yeah, they have the similar same hard stances on things that sometimes seemingly are meaningless. No matter. I mean, good.

Oh, we got some weird pet peeves. Yeah. Man of conviction. What, Robertson? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, y'all do. Somebody told me last night about, he said one of his friends has a kid, but like he doesn't like the guy. So he's like, I'm going to hate this kid.

And I just thought it was a funny idea. To be like, I'm not going to like this kid. It's his own kid? No, it's somebody else's kid, a guy that he hates. Oh, I don't like a lot of kids. You don't have kids yet. No, I don't have a kid. Oh, no, you'll get that.

Yeah, you don't like them. There's a couple kids that my kids are around. Don't like them. But do you like the parents? No, I don't like them either. Oh, no, no. Oh, there in lies the tangle. So did you not like the kid before you didn't like the parent?

The kid's probably fine, but you don't like the parent. That kid's a stupid looking. Well, no, no, but that's part of it. Kids are entertaining. Yep. They really are because, hey, you never know when something is said, they like me in a way. Yeah, they like it. Yeah, I see that.

Because you never know what, if something said, you have no idea what I'm going to respond with. Yep. Now, that's a wild card. It's true wild card. But that's why, though, I am a kid. Yeah. I never grew up. It's why we can't have a quarterback.

I refuse to grow up. Stay that way. Yeah. I'm serious. And again, I know, it's boring. Y'all's kids like, son? Oh, yeah. They do.

Oh, my kids love him, yeah. My kid made a whole announcement to the entire library at school that his uncle, Sa, was in the Vietnam. Hey, here's a kid. D.D. Carter? Yeah. He's a future president. Is he?

Yeah. No, no. Hey, I'm saying, that boy, he'll be president. He's a field. I got another picture of him at school today. We purposely don't send him with money because, you know, he likes to eat a lot. And so then my sister who works out there sent a picture of him holding chips. So I was like, where do you get those?

Vendemachine. How do you get it? He found the middle school like break. I don't know how he got out of his class. Went up to all of them and said, hey, I need a dollar. Until he found a girl that would give him a dollar. I was like, he is a politician. That's what happens.

When you go to a Christian school, somebody got to come off of it. Somebody don't be nice. He's either going to run a nonprofit or. This is a hoot during Trump's speech. Uh-oh. Oh, boy. They're looking, the cameras are all looking at all across. Cross this day, I thought Carter was there.

Wow, was there somebody hanging on the after? I said, there was a kid on the front row and he was clapping and it looks just like Carter. I thought, I said, that's Carter. I said, I can't believe Carter's there. How did he get it? Bad about eight. I don't know what he did after that. Let me come through.

It was a good lookalike. I thought it was really him. A lot of good looking kids. It went by and I said, God, was that Carter? I didn't see it. I didn't watch it. But the kids these days, they're probably not, you know, they're probably not disciplined in these kids.

They just take away their iPad or something like that, not like how when you were growing up. Yeah. We didn't even, you know, if we had a toy, we made it. Oh, yeah. Stick gun, sticks. We didn't have any money to buy out of one. Played with dirt and sticks.

Yeah, yeah. These spoiled kids. It was homemade. Yeah. Hey, point at me. Hey, I'm two and a half years in. We got no iPad yet. No, no.

I know it's coming, right? We didn't have a meeting. A long barrel pistol that wild earth was famous for. Oh, yep. You had one of those? We had one of them. How much was it? How much it cost?

Nothing. We made it. Oh, you've made it. We made it and then cut a round rubber band out of an inner tube. And, you know, and the long barrel we have was like 24 inches. That's the way back then. It had a safety pin. It was a trigger.

What year? Oh, this is in what? 50 what? 60. 60s. We made our own darts out of kitchen matches, okay, with a needle and paper. Wow. Had dart wars, okay.

You'd run around in the house, and the Robertson house, all you would hear was, ah! Well, he just got darted. He'd come running by your bareback with a little needle stuck in his back. Oh, my. That seems not safe. Oh, it was wild. Well, they turned out a height.

Look at him. I said, hey. I don't know. Man's wearing Christmas Street cake socks. Oh, yeah. And we're squarely in March. Well, hey, y'all gave them to me or, you know, I thought you did. I thought they did.

Don't think a fan sent them to us. A fan sent them to them. Well, hey, I thought to. And we appreciate them and I wear Christmas tree socks. Yeah. I got sock fetish. My wife is part of it. You want to export?

You want to explore that one? Yeah. My wife's not working. My mic's not working. My wife is part of it. She went to... Your wife is part of your sock fetish. You went to Dallas.

You and Rex Ryan. They got a big sock emporium building. Okay. You know, and she brought me like 40 pairs of socks and they got sands on them. Oh, yeah, jokes and... Yeah, jokes on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm, hey, look, you don't, don't, don't repeat it.

I ignored you perfectly the first time. Yeah. It's classic. That's classic. That's classic. That's classic. Anything you've seen in a truck stock. It's on a sock.

It's not on a t-shirt of the truck stop. It's on a sock. Nope. And he wants. Yeah. I found it. The show's not in April. So thanks for the fake invite.

I really appreciate it. It's May 10th. Oh, come on. Yeah. You just, we were about to just all load up and head to the street. Going a lot of places.

Yeah. May the 10th. There you go. Well, we'll see you there then. It'll be warmer up there at least. Yeah. Over there. Oh, that's the biggest crowd in where?

Biggest crowd I ever performed. Oh. I did. driver intros at the NASCAR race at Dallas. Texas Motor Speedway? Texas Motor Speedway probably $150,000. I wasn't doing jokes. I mean, I was introducing the drivers, but that was the most.

You want to know a sad truth to that race? We sponsored it for three years. Who did? We did. Duck Commander. It was the Duck Commander 500. It was? Yeah.

Never buy the John Chris 500 because they don't say that on TV unless they even had, they had a lady make me a. That was the Duck Commander 500. For three years. Wow. We thought we were a big deal for a couple days. Hey, we was. Did you get to do it on like Sunday?

I'm on Sunday, yeah. Was the race over on Sunday? Yeah. See, the three years we had it, every one of them was over on Monday. On Monday they rained out. I mean, I was like, because NASCAR drivers can't drive in the rain.

Yeah, which I think would be way more interesting. Oh, yeah. A lot more fun, a lot of more wrecks. Yeah. Slow down. They ain't got a wrecked on. Oh, no, you can't slow down on a racetrack. You're going to navigate around.

You got to put the... Yeah, that's not the... You didn't see the R-O-I on sponsoring a NASCAR race. Oh, we figured it out. Yeah. It's not necessarily what the pamphlets says. We didn't get as much as Coke did, I can tell you that much. Yeah, I'll tell you that.

Yeah. What a time. Well, I just got sad. Yeah. That's why I sell worms now. If I came out here to do like an internship for a week, what would I... Who would I hang with Cy for a little bit? No.

Si doesn't work. What would I do? Internship of Duck Commander? I just didn't get around and people's like, you know, do some hunting, do some, who would I shadow? No, you call with me. Nobody here really works. That would probably be the man you would go. If you want to go hunting fishing, though, come holler at me.

Yeah, we'll go. What's Willie doing? He's a CEO. That's a good question. Where is he? He's out on the road all the time. He's been in London for a while. Doing what?

Yeah. They were at some conference or something. I don't really. Well, his career, it's weird because now he's just watching his dog. water work like how most people watch a kid play little league yeah he's just he's just watching say he's oh he ain't he ain't doing that he's doing a lot on yourself we actually you know me him with corey when we went to san quentin for god behind bars that or to jail he's doing that kind of thing yeah no yeah yeah which is yeah it's wild yeah he said oh jail i did go to angola with willie

recently yeah well he's just trying to stay out of jail by going to jail well don't you think the The, like, it's what, what has happened in the, in the past with Doug Dynasty is the past. And the future is not, like, to keep, like, it's all evolved. And everybody's like, and there's new people and there's new. That's the new show, I guess. Yeah. The revival. The Revival.

You want to be on it? It's actually funny. I bet it is. No, no, it is. Okay. Because, you know, like, Sadie and John Luke literally threw up on Duck Down. Yeah. They was kids.

Yeah. Well, now they're married and got kids. Yep. Well, it's a hoot. They got how many generations? Four? Five. Four.

If you go on what side of the family, there's more than four. Yeah, if you go on Corey's side, it's a lot more because they actually take care of themselves and live a little. We live longer on our side of the street. Robertsons, they expire about 80. It seems to be. All right. 80 ain't bad. No.

I'm not shooting for a Honda. man, my woman's shooting for a hondo. Speaking of your woman, so I do want to make you aware of something. I know you've been all tied up and watching the news, right? Have you seen the news that one of your celebrity crushes is... Are you about to say on the market? She's not on the market yet,

but Dolly Parton's husband did pass away. So I'm just saying eventually she's going to be available. Well, I mean, I'm sorry to hear that because they had a good relationship. Yeah, what are you trying to make a joke? He was a good man. Not at all. The dude was a good man because he didn't, you know, she's done her thing as a star, superstar. He's a genius.

He supported her. Oh, to be fair, I never knew she was married. But he never went anywhere for with her. I'm pretty sure he like. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I never knew she was married. He went concrete for a living. He did really?

I'm pretty sure. He was a working man. Yeah. He was out there just a normal dude married to a beautiful Dolly Park. See? You didn't have to not make him beautiful. Yeah, he was probably. I told it.

I said he was a great dude. You can't be ugly and be married to die. No, no, he was a great dude. But it's one of those things that are like if he lays concrete, you go, let me do three days a week. You know what I'm saying? You're like, he's at work at me. He goes, well, let me loosen up this. Yeah, you know, I probably got show up on Friday.

He paved asphalt. He ended up owning the business. So probably other people were doing the paving at some point. Yeah, you got to own it. But asphalt's a good business being. Buddy of mine does that. I like those businesses where you do. don't have to, you know, it's the people that are, they got money around.

And you're like, well, I don't think you're checking the P&L. Like, I think they're, if this business is bombing for 10 years, you're like, they're going to be okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, he was the type of guy that he. Worked hard. Well, he was a public relations man. And he could go to Dollywood and nobody knew who.

He kept everybody happy. Yeah, that's true. I never heard. I've never seen. I don't even know what he looks like. Yeah. He would probably just go to Dollywood and not pay and just ride rides and go home. Oh, no, I said that's what I would have done.

No, she said it. He's kind of an introvert. Yeah. That, you know, and it worked great for their relationship. Yeah. When, do you remember when you first came to discover Dolly Parton? Oh, good. That's one of our kids.

When you're like it. He's always, you know, it was when she was on the family show, man. I never can't think of that guy's name. The guy she started out with Porter Wagman. Porter Wagman. On his show. Okay. That's one, yeah.

Yeah. And who would be the. Dolly Parton of today? Taylor Swift. Oh, Taylor Swift. Oh, no, I know. I'm with you. I'm with you.

I'm with you. Yeah, what? Yeah. Turn off your microphone. No, Taylor Swift ain't in a minute. Look, Taylor Swift ain't in any men in Dolly Partners lead. She ain't got no theme part. She is a billionaire.

Oh, I know she's got the money. But, hey, she ain't the person. Okay. She ain't got the personality. Yeah. That's my humble opinion. Yeah, because remember back in that, like, you ever see those videos about, like,

Michael Jackson and then people passing out. Like, I don't think you see, celebrities not like that anymore. No. Where people were like couldn't, you know, people like couldn't handle themselves and they would pass out. Yeah.

You should have been around in 2015 with this. Yeah. Old women just dropping left and right. She gone. No, no, I had a lady. She was fixed to have a baby. Yeah. For kind out loud.

A baby. I was in West South. No, I was in South Carolina. Yeah. That tracks. somewhere around interstate 40. Well, she was, you know, and I said, and they told me about it.

And I said, hey, it's, why didn't you tell me? I said, hey, have she on the stretcher? And I said, yeah, I said, hey, pick her up, bring her up her on state. Wheeler on in here, buddy. I said, bring on in here where I can meet her. And then she can go to the hospital and have her baby where she's got people taking care of her. As long as she names it, Silas.

I don't care. Look, hey, that was, that was in the summertime, time in August. Yeah. And it was hot and people were in line passing out. Oh, she had the baby then. And then they had told me, y'all, I didn't, wasn't supposed to be there for like three hours.

Well, I said, hey, look, what are y'all talking about? They said, well, it's over. And I said, no, it ain't over. Yeah. I said, look at the line. I said, hey. That's a man of the people. I said, hey, I'll be here.

Hey, when we get through the line, that's when it's over. Yeah, that's like Garth Brooks. The guy that was running the venue, he said, why did you do that? And I said, it beat going back to the stupid hotel and sitting in the room wearing my thumbs. Y'all are joking, but that's the truest thing I've ever heard. Look up Garth Brooks. I thought that was a song.

No, Garth Brooks did a 24-hour meet and greet. Oh, no, no. He had a catheter put in where he could just be in a in-law. Yes, look it up. I think it was at the CMA Festival outside of Nashville. Army. Willie did the same thing. 24-hour meet and greet.

That's that. It signs for 25. George. Never got it out of his chair. That's unbelievable. Can you imagine that? Had a catheter put in? Yeah.

I'd just get up and go take a leak. No. He just said, I ain't, I ain't leaving here. I'm signing it all that. Everything. Hold on. Was that Garth Brooks or Chris Gane?

Garth Brooks is a man of the people like he's talking about. Yeah, it works. And I am too. And he would say Garth Brooks, while he's looking it up, I remember even now, because he does stadiums now. Oh, yeah. He goes, I understand the sacrifice it takes to get out and come to a show.

And you pay $40 and you worked hard for that $40. I'm going to give you the best. You're going to meet me. I'll stay here. I'm going to give you. I don't know if he meets people now, but he goes, I'm going to give you everything I got for the next two hours.

And he does. And he does still. And he does. Yeah. Garth Brooks, according to artificial intelligence of Google. That counts. There's not much info about a catheter meet and greet with Garth Brooks.

But here's some related information about Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood. There you go. I can find it. I don't need to know about catheter stuff on them. who did a captain i would like to revisit if you today's dolly would it not be our hometown girl who

lany wilson like she's from just down the street i mean if you had to pick like a today dolly with that personality no no that's a good choice you know i'm just saying that's a good choice let's go with lorne dagle she's like that she's like that christian dolly's a people person

christian dolly Lauren's good people. Lauren's from down here too. Yeah. Lafayette girl. Oh, yeah. Wait. And you're saying, I went to Angola with Lori, remember? And I was like, hey, she might actually get to sit next to Jesus the whole time we're in heaven. Dude, and Theo's from here.

Yeah. Louisiana got up with everybody. Well, we ain't got a lot going on, but we got personnel. But the people that do come out of here. We're just as weird. I didn't know Theo Vaughn was from here. Oh, he's from Covington. That makes a lot of sense.

Makes a lot of sense. That adds up with everybody I've ever met. from Govington. Yeah. Yeah, when North wind blows, he smells New Orleans. So, you know, I mean, like, Louisiana got a, you got a lot of good exports. Yeah.

I forgot about Laney. Yeah. Yeah, she's from just down the road, not too far. Mare. Bask in Louisiana. Somebody stole their size. We went through that when we went to Honohio. We played basketball.

Honey Bright. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's good people. But I think she got to have a little bit more, she just came on the scene. Yeah, I'm saying if you had to have to see it for 50 years.

Yeah, I'm saying if you had to pick one that could currently get to that. So like what are we trying to get to? The way she handles her. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like Brittany Spears was on her way. Yeah. And then that happened. I got it.

And then she did it again. Yeah, yeah. I've got it. Who? Beyonce. This ain't Texas. Come on now. I just had people get sued.

I'm sorry. I did that on purpose. Yeah. Somebody just wrecked a truck. You know, you're watching your analytics on YouTube where you can see where people dropped off. Yeah, that just happened. Yeah, everybody was like steady, steady, ne. Don't use any good material from here to forth.

I brought up Beyonce. It's over. It's got to be, it's got to be Taylor Swift. Really? Today's beyond, today's Dolly. I don't know. I'm not going to Taylor Taylor Town. I don't look.

She just doesn't have the personality. You know, well, Si says no, then it's... Yeah, I just... I mean, you don't see her out there in front of people doing the stuff that Dolly did. Dolly would drive guys crazy back in the day, huh? Yeah. Yeah, you didn't know what was going on.

Don't. I'll get them started. You never seen something like Dolly Parton. Yeah, I mean, how could you have? Yeah. I want to know where this idea, because now, you know, on social media, I saw you have people screen record their YouTube algorithm and then he would roast them.

Oh, yeah. Where'd you come up with that one? That was... That was rich. Oh, that's, yeah, I said. We've watched you do it. Yeah. We're not doing it here.

Oh, yeah. No, we're not, we're not in a copycat. No, no, I'm saying I'm not showing you mine. Yeah. I'll copycat. Let me see your Instagram. No. I'll take a look at it.

My Instagram's weird, man. You hop on my YouTube algorithm. You're about to see Rubble and crew bulldozers and excavators. My YouTube algorithm. That's a good man. That's a good man right there. Two and a half year old stuff. Well, that's a little bit of genius to do what you, he said he doesn't.

Done. Mine's Willie. People jump roping and people fishing. I'm the only guy with that one. The one guy who was just all, it was all like DeWalt Power Tools. I got this guy. It was all.

I was like, that's wild. He's got a thing. Yeah, a fetish. Yeah. What do you think? Oh, my goodness. Yeah, whose kid is this?

This is my, well, you can tell on that one. Hey, he's two good looking young men. Hey. What's up, brother. Come here, bud. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they just run on. How's it going?

Good to see you. You say hi to Mr. John. What's up, brother? These are the other stars of our show. Is that a truck? All I got to say about this is, hey. Them are two good-looking young man, Finn. Good-looking kids.

Oh. They don't take after that. Nice having you. You just go run around now. That's what twins look like, man. I mean, they don't really look like. Oh, that does like sense. Be careful.

What are their names? That is. Jackson there and the camera shabbling is whaling. Jackson, whaling. We got a future politician. He'll go to anybody anytime, anywhere. He's got some serious trust issues. He was like, pick me up, but now I'm angry that you did.

What's up, brother? I'm going to let, look, hit it, hit it. Knock it down. Knock it down. Alex from Ohio. All right. Emails in. You're from Ohio-ish.

Family is. Land. Yep. Was wondering what that sound or smell is that brings back your best and worst memories. Oh, man. I don't know why I thought. The paper mill? Oh.

But yeah, we're kind of a paper mill town. Yeah. Did you smell us when you arrived? They made me, they said windows up. I said, can I put the windows down? They go, no, we got to wait until we get on campus. Of course, that could have been just a matter of personal safety. I may not have anything.

Were you at the airport? Yeah. Yeah, it was more about guns. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. And stuff. You know, I, today, what?

I do have something we need to talk about. Oh, okay. But go ahead. No, I got into, I, when I walked past the, and this might be showing my cards a little bit, when I walked past the Delta Sky Lounge. Yeah. Yeah. I got a certain smell in there.

And that smells like. It's damp. Rich. Rich. You go, oh, that's the smell of money. Uh-huh. The Delta, the sky lounge. They got some kind of.

Oh, in Atlanta? Diffuser. No, it's everywhere. It's all in the same, it's everywhere. And you walk past it. I haven't been an airport in a long time. Oh, yeah. You haven't?

Well, speaking of feeling rich. I'm an American Airlines guy. Did you know we have a zoo here in Monroe, John? I didn't know that. We do. It's very nice, very fancy. Martin, have you ever heard this? I was telling some people every once while we've made fun of our zoo here on this podcast,

which isn't nice and we shouldn't do it. Yeah, well, it tries. But then I was sent an article by a friend of mine that said, No, you need to read this on the podcast, and you need to take your kids to the zoo. A pack of dogs killed four animals at the Louisiana Purch's Gardens and Zoo in Monroe. No way.

Five dogs entered the zoo Thursday morning around 8 a.m. Employees shot and killed two of the dogs as they were attacking the animals. Three antelope and one Gowanico, similar to a llama, were killed. Monroe Police believed the dogs were pit bulls and had escaped from a home. the zoo is working to find the weak spots in their fence and secure the perimeter. Welcome to Monroe, John. They're killing the dogs. No, the dogs are killing the zoo animals.

They're eating the dogs. Okay, so they didn't, the dogs weren't at the zoo. No, the dogs got into the zoo. They were, well, where are they? We're wild dogs. No, they're just regular dogs. They were eating animals? Dogs don't eat animals.

I must have been hungry. A rabbit. The dogs got into, which, If dogs can get in, why can't the lions get out? Oh, that's probably potentially a better point. But the dogs got into the zoo and killed a couple antelopes in Guanticoes. You've never seen an aloebe before. Maybe they thought it had a squeaker in it, you know, like toy.

You know, whenever they, you know, first thing a dog does, most time get a toy, he goes to get squeaker. Maybe he's trying to get squeaker out of it. I'd never heard this story. I hadn't even. Somebody was telling me about it last night because I was telling him how there's a Black Panther at her zoo. Where is this, too? Yeah. Over there.

Fed toward Mississippi. Over there. I'd imagine if all the animals were on like the Serengeti and the African planes and they all get, you know, round up and they're on the plane. They're looking at their boarding pass. You go, dude, I got San Diego Zoo. I got Columbus. What did you get? Monroe.

The Louisiana purchased garden is there. I got, I got, it says. You like that poor aqua. I got some place. There's a reason them antelopes couldn't get away from some dogs. They were not at the top of the antelope chain. What did you get? Monroe.

We're going to get in trouble by our own town. Yeah. Our zoo probably takes that little part of the Statue of Liberty and give me your sick and your shut down, probably a little too far, you know. Like, that's probably the critters we get. Then when they get well, they go somewhere else, you know. The one cool animal we had was an elephant and they shipped it off to Nashville. Yeah, ours is.

We took it. Ours is way more like a rehab facility. You know, you could call it. Short stop. Yeah, you'd call it like therapy for animals. It's been funded. It's being funded by an outside source. Yeah, there you go.

You got a rabbit in here, a squirrel? We did have some part of the. No, the dogs hate it. Yeah. We did have some deer. And I bet it also they were probably hyenas, but they didn't know how to categorize them. No, they were pit bulls.

They were just friendly neighborhood pit bulls. Yeah. You know, least laws, man. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. Why didn't you bring that up first? Like, I don't really have anything. I forgot about it. I don't really have anything.

John's working on a streetport set list, right? Yeah, I was like, well, at least y'all aren't Monroe. Let me tell you what's happening over there. Are y'all been to the zoo? I'm going to tell that when I come to town. Yeah. The people that Shreveport laugh at us anyway, so. I probably was funny, though, I would bet a lot of the people that near Shreeport

crowd are going to be from here. Yeah. That's probably, we're going to make the, they're going to go to the big city. I texted Allison, by the way, May 10th. She said, what is May 10th? It said John Christian Shreveport. Her response was, ah, I'll go. And we don't have any more tickets left, actually.

Sorry. Locked up. She doesn't think stand-up comedy's funny. Who? My wife. What? Wait, nobody? Nobody.

She just doesn't get it. The whole genre, she's out. She doesn't think I'm funny, which I'm, you know, give or take. But you're funny. Thank you. You got a good sense of humor. Anyway, you're loud. Like we tried to watch, who was it?

Oh, Burgotsi and she never laughed. But she was entertained by it or no? She's like, what's the point of this? We turned it off 25 minutes in because she was like, let's watch something else. All right, if Nate can't get her, we're done. I'm bringing you the toughest I think you've ever had. You can't get her. If yeah, we're done.

Oh, she'll be fine, though, because like, well, Brittany will be there. And Brittany will be there. She's entertained, right? Yeah. If you can make Allison laugh, that that'll be probably the most impressive feat you've ever put. Yeah, we're going to have to have an Allison cam. Yeah. She doesn't laugh.

I'll take it as a challenge. There you go. That is the challenge. What kind of topics she like? But she like memes or anything? Does she send stuff to you? No bread. Okay.

You're going to have to brush up on your stay-at-home mom. On your sourdough references? Bring back the Eniogram stuff. Actually, she'll be a first. offended by that. Yeah, so she doesn't like see a meme during the day, like, this is so funny. Look at this. She sent me something the other day.

And I was like, eh, it's not that funny. We got to find this, we got to find that, the sense of humor. We'll dial it in. It'll be there. Yeah. She thinks what stuff the kids do is funny. Yeah, so she thinks that's, she got a good sense of humor. Yeah.

What does she send me today? Might just be us. Yeah, this brings me back to Trump, so. Uh-oh. Going to the dress. Yeah, everybody in there was laughing. Yeah, everybody was laughing except the Democrats. Allison's the Democrat of the stand-up comedy world.

Not laughing. Oh, my goodness. Anyways. Trump had some bangers last night. What was your favorite one? You had a couple of good jokes? Yeah. I didn't see it.

It was good. Well, I mean, you got to think, like, as a comic, right? Just curiosity's like, y'all, y'all are pretty happy, like, the cancel culture stuff's dying out, right? Because y'all can make jokes again? Well, okay, so, well, it's the best. time the best one of the best shows I ever had was in 2021 in Portland because Oregon yes right out there what's that are you a barely but I was like going and I was like hey guys like the war's over like we we don't need to we no one around the country still doing this no one always

all this but you need like I always say the best my best shows are in blue cities surrounded by red because everybody it needs some like Yeah, you need the crowd to fight against each other. No, not all of them, but like a couple. Yeah, I mixed in. You need everybody to drive in from the suburbs that is annoyed by that town too. Yeah. That's the best.

Those are the best shows. Well, Shreveport ought to be a hit. Oh, you're going to crush it in Shreport. Yeah. For sure. It's already sold out. I think that show's already sold out. Yeah.

Because there needs to be sunk. Like, I remember the guys from Hill Song, the church, rest of peace. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't say that. But I remember. There's our Instagram real for the day. I remember they said, they go, hey, like, if I go, I should tour in Australia. And he goes, I don't know if it would work because we, we talk like you. Like, we like roast each other and are very, like, derogatory towards each other in a fun.

Like, it's not controversial. Like, does that make sense? It needs to be, like, speech is speech, when speech is so protected. you can just like barely step across the line and that's comedy. Yeah. So back now if everything's opened up, you just have to be smart and clever and intelligent. You can't just say it used to be,

I mean like when everything was so protected, you'd be like, I don't think the vaccine or, and then that's common knowledge now. Yeah. You just got us flagged, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now we got to find out who's got the true talent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus just going across the line. line. And I can confirm on the few Australian people I've met and that I know they are very direct. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Very blunt. Yeah, there's no. They use words I didn't know existed. Yeah. And they use some words like, wow. I don't know you can say it that many times in a row. Yeah. And about that many different things. Like here it kind of unidirectional. It just means my thing. But like, yeah, it's wild, man. Well, my, I think my whole show is like these people that are, I would say, family friendly or grew up like this, where we grew up where you were.

weren't allowed to cuss in the house. Yeah. You weren't allowed to. So one, a small, like, joke in that direction or, like, across the line about something is, like, I can't believe he said that. Yeah. Or, like, if I was doing in front of some other comics crowd, they'd be like, I don't even get why.

Like, it's got, it has to be, the line has to be drawn back so it can be across the line. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, I get you. Yeah, no. It's kind of like the other night when I was in that tattoo parlor. And, uh, you can say, we could say whatever you want in there. Well, that's what I'm talking about, though, but see, these guys from Israel came to the United States to do tattoos, and it's all Jesus-inspired tattoos, right?

Yeah. So you go in this tattoo, Paula, where admittedly doesn't seem to be a lot of Jesus going on, but for that night, everybody from the local churches is up in there. Oh, yeah. Getting them things. So it was like this weird dichotomy of crowds. Funny. It's always good. And it was observationally funny for me to just watch.

Watch like Jews is happening. Yeah. And the Jews bring Jesus to Dallas. It always works out. I know. It really does. And then they freehand it and they stamp it and it's a kind of a, it's a, well, Denton, not Dallas, because how many cities are in that city.

Tell them many countries in that country. Man. You go to Squirty Palace? Who? No, I didn't go to Derry Palace. Oh, man. I stopped at the gas station across street from it. But I didn't even go to Buckees?

No, I didn't. It's too long of a drive, man. I was trying to get home. Here to Dallas? Yeah. Yeah, Denton. That's another hour. Five hours.

Yeah, five hours from here to ditting them back. Yeah. I mean, they're... He didn't stop at Buckees. Mm-mm. No. I thought I knew you, man. If you'd have seen the traffic, you wouldn't have stopped either.

I was just ready to get back to Smalltown USA. I got my merch is in Buckees. Is it? Yeah. No, I stop in most Buckees I see. Everybody goes, they got my books for sale in there. Nowhere else, by the way. Buckees sold out.

We were a big hitting Buckees for a while, too. So that's why this cross-s are always so good. Mine, too. Yeah. I go to like a, I'm trying to think of a place I would go that nobody would know who I am. Go to the county fair. You're our guy! I'm like, oh, all right, yeah.

It's my people. That is. You're a county fair kind of fella. Yeah. I don't see the Duck Commander sponsoring the crypto conference. You know, they sponsor a NASCAR race. Yeah. So they're people.

Yeah, it was our people. For a year. Cryptocurrency. Or like one of those tech, yeah. Hunter goes to anime conventions. I will say the crowd at the Washington State Fair was kind of underwhelming. We did that one. Yeah.

Did that one? Yeah. You been there? Spokane? No, it's in... It's a weird one. In Washington? Yeah, Washington State.

Yeah, we were in Spokane. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was a... Yeah, the red that were surrounding the blue didn't show up. Blue is surrounded by purple. And it was me, Willie, and Cy and Johnny Dee and Goblin. John Luke and there was too many... Remember when he said who they should have kicked out?

We needed to get rid of about eight of them. Yeah, maybe they were too many of us. Just let Cy do it. Yeah. He's out of the... What were you doing on stage, a meet and greet or something? I was on stage. Yeah, we were on stage.

Presentation. It's asking questions. That's where I was wrong. It was an eight-person meeting and greet. It really went well. Yeah. That's why I told people that I was a space disease. Oh, yeah.

There you go. Yeah. There you go. But anyway, well... Send us home? Yeah, you want to close with a Bible verse? We can let John have it. Oh, shoot.

I don't want to put you on some stuff. Go ahead. What do you guys normally do one? Yeah, we end with a Bible verse. We always close with it. of one. I got you. Go ahead. Hebrew 12.2, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated

at the right hand of the throne of God, no matter how great the American flag is, which it is, and we love it. The cross is even better. Because I know we got a bunch of Irish people and Canadians and all that listening. Look at the cross first, then them star-spangled bannered next. On your roof. Amen, buddy. Put it on your roof. Wear it on your heart. We'll see y'all next time. John, thank you so much. Oh, thanks. Been a pleasure. I'll be back next year. Wait another year? Come back, sir.

What are you doing in May? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll be back. Yeah, I'll be back. What are you doing in May? We'll get you a day before. 8th, we'll see you. Yeah, we'll see y'all.