Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Loses it Over Jacob Mayo's Embarrassing Thai Massage

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Uncle Si falls apart laughing as Jacob Mayo recounts the wildly embarrassing massage that left him half-dressed, face-down, and praying for escape while his wife, Bella, watched the whole thing unfold. John-David shares the chaos of his kids trying to remove a harmless lizard they were convinced was a Komodo dragon, plus the boys react to unbelievable government stories — including parachuting beavers and Oregon’s infamous exploding whale — before celebrating a wave of first-kill photos sent in by listeners. An email about the eternal marriage fight over what should happen to all the Amazon boxes piling up sends Uncle Si into a relatable rant. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now you got to fix that mic When you're talking about a rat snake I always remember my uncle going out to the hen house and there's a big black snake in there full of eggs and he comes out as Wilson. Yeah, David and Goliath

Yeah, and hey. And actually really good shot with him. Gave a spikin. He'll pop his head off. Off? Off. And then, hey, and he's, and hit who he was aiming at.

Next time you feel is a big, big, pop you upside the head and ooze you down your color of your shirt. I think if I got a whip like that, I'd fall on the ground. I wouldn't be excited about it. Who was I watching another day? You know, when your parents gave you a spanking and you can't talk because they spanked you? You know what I'm saying?

They hit you so hard. He locks you up? Yeah, that was what that lasso would feel like if you smacked me upside the head with. No, he was good. You saw somebody get spanking? He was actually. No, like I saw somebody talking about it on a podcast.

They just revisited a memory of me when I was a kid. My parents spank me and I was just like, he was freeze up. He froze up, you know what I mean? Not because it was that bad. It was just, you know. I feel.

I feel was beans. He had us in the back of his Jeep that had a hard top. I was like FM. I was like FM radio? Yeah, we went with him to check his oil leases. Well, there's a forking road that he comes out and there's a bush right in the fork on the side. And look,

it's got a perpetrator wall in there's about that big around and just far around covered. Well, he just pulls up our stops, backs up, backs us in the middle of it, and then shuts the Jeep off. It's a fun uncle.

And he's, yeah, and he's in a cab, enclosed cab, just laughing his head off. And we'll get eight up by perpetuals. In case you're looking for something to do with all your nieces and nephews. Yeah.

I pass. You just do that. I think I'd get crazy. Just go crucify if I did that. Just go back old Shepi and honey up into there. Back them into a wash. I don't think Corey would stand for that.

I think I'd be extra-communicated real fast. You'd be on the other side of the neighborhood with me if that happens. I'd be definitely outside the gate. It'd have me a little chain box. I'd be locked in. Headling for everybody to come in and put the code in. And I have leftovers, Willie? Oh, man.

Welcome back to the Duck Call Room. Yeah. We're here again. Si, you've been on the road, huh? Where you been? Yep, I went to Orlando Fala being filled in. You went to Disney? Nope.

I went down there for the idols aside ministries. Idles aside. These are men that find kids that don't have fathers in their life, and then they become mentors for them. So it's an awesome ministry. That is really cool. I used to get in that same stance when I couldn't breathe at football practice. I was very comfortable today.

Everybody was listening. I was stretching. My back's hurt now. Oh, you've been toting Philadelphia all weekend. You flew to Orlando? No, yeah. Private jet. Oh.

One of the finest. There you go. Do you have an omelet? Oh, we had, you know, eggs and sausages for breakfast, but I ain't no big breakfast, man. On the plane? No. No. No, that's a lot.

Well, that's why when he said one of the, The finest. The finest experience we ever had was me, Saigon, were the guest of the Seminole Indian tribe. Yeah. You saw my first class. Now that.

That one's got all that. That was first class because when we got on a jet, there's just a good-looking woman there. Oh, God. She says, hey, what is, how? Was she combing her hair again? Yeah. What kind of omelet do you want, sir?

Yeah. She went in there, cooked us breakfast, and that plane didn't have seats on it. It had couches. Yeah. That's big good. Oh, it was fine. Good for them, man.

Oh, hey. They called a raw deal, so good for them. They're taking all the money back via the casino I'm happy for it. They're saying the casino for sure. I'm very happy for this. They own the Florida Everglades. They owned a big chunk of it. Me and Chief got a long well.

Yeah. He said, you need to come hunting. I said, you know, put you see something. He said, well, I say so. Yeah. He said, you shoot anything you want here, boy. Yeah, we pulled through the gate. That guy looked at it as he said, just so y'all at

you're not technically in the United States anymore. And I was like, wait, what? Oh, praise God. Well, their reservation, man. That's not technically. No.

No, it's a Wild West, buddy. Yeah. You can do as you please in there. Whatever he wants to do, he does. Mm-hmm. How about that? Yeah. No, that was a first-class experience.

And I was like, man, they sent the nicest plane they got for us. Yeah. Until we pulled up at the deal. No, they have four more just like it. I was like, these boys right here. They're rolling. Yeah.

I mean, I wanted to do that Tomahawk shop thing. They do at Florida State. Oh, no. Then we. I was glad to be with them. Then they allowed me to sit in and play the drums with them. Uh-huh. And I told them, I said, well, wait a minute, boys.

I said, I ain't got no rhythm. He said, just do what we do. Yeah. Which is bang and scream. Yeah. Which is exactly what size good. And I told him, I said, in the back, in the day, you didn't want to hear these or the screen.

Yeah. Or you'd be screaming. Yeah. You imagine if you rolled up on that, you ain't been here before you arrive on big wooden boat and step off and go walking through the woods and hear that no there they come why did people i would have said there ain't nobody there sir we didn't i'd went back across the pond and said i we didn't find nothing no no what gets me is telling in england they took them and then put them in the worst place they could thank of and they thrived

that's to florida everglades lord everglades wow alligator and cotton mouths and all the things are there any ducks that were key oh yeah i thought he was going with an alligator in the car. Oh. Oh, no. John Anderson. Oh, there's pythons.

I'm not feeling that commercial that film the other day. We was watching with a rape. He said, what that is? He hit a little old needle-nosed guard. He said, that thing's full of,

his whole head is full of teeth. Yeah. He will bite you. They will. Well, we had my grandmother's funeral yesterday. And I stump. Was it a big crowd?

No, she was, she was small family. It was a small family. It was a beautiful little ceremony. And then we went, we ended up at the cemetery. And then I realized I had to do like a whole tour. I mean, it was kind of wild.

I drove past and saw Martin's dad. I almost just sent you a picture. I was like, he might be having a, like, who knows what he's doing this, boys? I want to catch him off. Hey, man. Well, hey, right behind him is Mamma and Papaw too. Yeah, there was a little section of Martin Hill. How old was Grandma?

She was 91. She was a good life. It was a celebration. She's in heaven now. But then down the hill, I saw where my granddaddy has been buried. And then I didn't know Corey's her other grandpa that we don't share. He's right down there. Then I walked up and saw where Phil's buried.

Then I saw your spot. You know you got a spot out there? Yeah. And that one kind of made me sad. That got me more emotional than anything. I was like, oh, no. Well, hey, the good news is it helped remind us that Christine's birthday is in three days. You may want to figure that out, old man.

I don't know what you're going to get her, if anything, but you're not going to get her nothing. Nope. Come on now. I'm just going to hand her credit card and say, hey, go get you what you want. Oh, I thought she was going to walk in and nothing but a bow. Oh, gosh. Magic side. Maybe I could just put on my robe.

Yeah, you can put on a bow under that my pillow robe and then say, Hey. Happy birthday. Aren't you thankful? It's magic sigh. Yeah, there you go. I was talking the other night. I said, we've had a good one.

He said, yep, and there's been a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I can see that. The only thing y'all disagree on is politics. Well, we don't even talk to politics. There you go. That's a good rule for marriage in general, by the way. Just stay out, and friendship, really.

Just stay out of it. Don't even bring up. And y'all still getting along great. Yeah, but it shows you, hey, that's fine. You can have a difference of opinion. Still get along. Well, some thing, you just got to learn to disagree. There you go.

I think we've lost that on. And then leave it alone. Don't bring it up. I think we've lost the art of disagree on it. The art of disagreeing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even think.

That's a guy. I like to add the word. Respectfully. Yeah, you can disagree with somebody. Don't get ugly. Yeah, there's no reason. There's no. That's not how you feel.

That's not how you feel. Move on. Yeah. Ain't a big deal. Yeah. Worse thing you can do. Just what I believe and hate. Unless.

You're going to have to accept it. Unless what? You put pineapple on pizza. That cannot be... Unless you put pineapple on pizza. Yeah, that's trash. Well, hey, that's a good way to have a little sweet with your pizza. Hey, you know what I do like is pineapple pepper jack sauces, deer sausage.

What? Y'all, hate that. Pineapple. I don't. I just never been... I'll get you some. It'll be good. I've never been enamored with the pineapple.

Yeah. I love pineapple. Do you? I've just never been enamored with it. It's its own bag. Cheese is good in a sausage. Mm-hmm. What I'm talking about these, uh...

Some people, like, a couple of chunks of pineapple. I didn't think I would like it, but somebody had it one time I tried it. It was good. It doesn't taste like what you think. Huh. Good. I would try that. You got them boys around here throwing pineapple and crawfish bowls.

And I just don't understand. I tried that one time. That was a trick, but. Yeah, I don't like pineapple. Willie starts cooking. It just tastes good. I get so tickled at him. He starts out with a little bitty pot.

And the end of the day, he's got a big mess all, you know, four gallon pot on the stove. Yeah. using a boat paddle to stir it. And he's using a boat paddle to stir all the junk he's put in there. But it's good. I will give it this. He has come out with some good goulash. Gulash.

Whatever, you know, you just get crazy. But he gets that naturally. Yeah, he does. From probably my dad and mom. They were both scientists,

bad scientists when they get in. Genetics are a weird thing. Oh. Because that was, my grandmother's thing was always cooking homemade pizza and now that's what we do but my cousin cooked we had like 25 people this is hilarious this shows my she went to make the pizza for everybody she's trying to cook pizza like 12 pizzas is her plan so she starts on the recipe of my 25 people yeah boy they better been biggin they're like

oh oh i thought you're talking about people they better be biggings oh well we're a large family so i'm talking about it takes four people to bring it and set it on the table all right look springtime is here it's warming up you know what that means that means more outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tells beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got trytells getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to them but with trytales beef we skip the

grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedales beef.

I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So Lauren starts on the dough and my aunt comes down and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. She goes, don't go by grandmother's recipe. She goes, why not?

The standard recipe called for 28 pizzas. Wow. That was just her normal rig. And hey, you got to have a concrete cutter to cut these pieces. They're so big. Oh, it was the funniest. Her standard recipe is for 28. More people bring it to the table and you get a concrete cutter.

I love old people, man. And that's who she was. She may. No, I know. That's a lost art cooking for a crowd, man. Oh, no. She would cook. Most people can't get the seasoning right.

Hey, that sounds like the nutrition facts on like a drink or something. It's or like a food. It's like a thousand calories for serving. It's like, oh, well, this is actually 28 serving. So it's 28,000 calories. She almost had 28 pizza dose in my parents. Have you seen that recipe? How much flowers and 28 pizza does?

It was like seven pounds. It was a lot. Oh, you need to tell me, you and your wife need to make pepperoni jalapeno pizza. Okay. Yeah. They do it. Make it thin enough where you can roll it up like a burrito. They don't do that.

12 inches. My pizza is pretty crunchy. Yeah. I mean, I could just take it out a little early maybe. You'd have to flatten it. Oh, yeah. This is a little more hefty of a class. Make it 12 inches of circle and then I have all the goodies on it and then make it where you roll it up like a bowl.

Also is the only one in here. You just make you like a burrito pizza? Oh, no. Look, I found a restaurant in Germany that Italian place. Casually. Yeah. And I would order. Fifty years.

three 12-inch pizzas that I would roll up like a burrito and eat like a burrito. Anybody that remembers a certain pizza from 50 years ago, I'm willing to try and make it. In the middle of Cold War. Yeah. He was like, you know what? That pizza is legit. Oh, no, that thing was fine, boys. I don't remember anything 50 years ago.

Oh, no. Well, you're not 50. That's a point. Good call. But I'm just trying to think of like, what's the food that I remember? The Italian looked like. make me like I was crazy when I rolled them up. Well, I mean, then fairness.

That's fair. I said, hey, don't knock. Did you leave a tip? Yeah, don't knock it until you. Try it, boys. How much that cost you back in, three, 12-inch pizzas? Just curious. Probably about 40 marks.

40 marks. He may not. Oh, German currency. Yeah. Whatever the German currency was. That's your resume. Now, we're going to. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know how to do that now. I'm good at Google, but I'm not going to be able to. Yeah, that math on math. I don't know how to do that. That's one thing that was interesting over there, though, when you went to a different German restaurant, they had their own mustard. No.

The salad dressing. They all made their own salad. You mean they didn't have ranch? No. No, they made their own. Oh, some of them was good, great. Good. Oh, what are you telling me?

You'd order a big salad. Tell them, hey, heavy on the dressing and then gets you four or five breadsticks where you could shop up what was left in the boat. That way you really just undo what you did with that salad. Yeah. Sounds like Olive Garden. You got a massager and then you got a blocker.

Oh, I'm telling you. Yeah. Cola massager followed by Coleman. You never could get them to tell you, hey, you know, tell me the ingredients. Well, I can have this at home. Well, no. It wouldn't take.

Well, they wanted you to come to Germany. Well, I did. I just thought it was rude and selfish of them. That's their whole living is based on that recipe. They were rude and crude for not giving me the recipe. You were in their country. Right. Yeah.

This is because it's their country. It doesn't be rude. Yeah, got to be rude. Roodest person I ever met was a Frenchman on a train in France. He did not like me. If you're listening, sir, I don't. like you either but it's okay he's not yeah he spoke english you never know we got fans all over the place man we do yeah we do and thanks to all those that supported our friends uh that we're in here

morgan yeah and lydia they it's a lot of money it's a lot we have the duck call room fans showed up and showed out thank y'all for that and we uh come december 1st we'll pick a winner you'll notice my cup is no longer here that's because we've set it to the side it's a different drinking vessel. And it's been signed. Yeah, it has been signed. I'm going to go look real quick. By me, sign it and John David. So, yeah, thank y'all for that. Thank you all for supporting it. We've never done anything quite like that. So we didn't know how it would go over, but y'all's kind words in the comments and the support for that family. Really cool, man. So we do appreciate that. Yeah, man. I don't know. That's crazy. That was a crazy day of story. That was a crazy story.

yeah incredible yeah one that only he could write right who knows to lily's mom yeah she's out there she's still working get him mom I keep up with I follow that thing closer and I follow the stock market which is what's crazy yeah every day she's like I was here here here doing this fundraiser this fundraiser she's working hard yeah it's gonna pay off for sure um Jacob you've been traveling huh everybody been traveling I heard you got a massage or something what my god Gosh. You got a massage?

Beth teed me up to ask him about some form of massage. Where have you been, but Jacob? Recently, I just got back from Missouri with my grandpa, but I'm way more interested in the massage. We'll get to Missouri and grandpa. You know, I went and shot here. Cool. All right.

You got a massage, you weirdo. Not me. My wife wanted to go, so I was like, okay, I guess that's what we do. So I went to a wedding in, where were we at? Myrtle Beach. Okay. Or a friend. And so the wedding was on Saturday.

We got there on Friday. It was like a small wedding. party. So everybody, a part of the wedding, stayed in the same house. It was like 30 people and had the wedding. Well, when we flew home on Sunday, we had a little extra time. So Bella was like, I want to get a massage. And I was like, okay. Wait, in the airport? No, no, no, no, no. Just like in Myrtle Beach, wherever we were. And I was like, okay. She calls this Thai massage place. And did the little woman walk on your back?

Well, you know, because you ain't never had a massage. unless the little lady walked on your back. I'm not letting, nobody's touching me, so. Well, I'll start laughing. Oh, where was it? I've done that. The only massage I've had is massage therapy, which is not enjoyable. Yeah.

Like, that is, that's painful. Oh, no, because that was mine. And I had it on the Belize, down there on the island. Yeah. Belize. Belize. Yeah. Look, Forest God.

I had a knot in my back. Okay. And she got to chasing. with her elbow. I would hurt. I like to die. You're like a bloodhound on your back. Yeah, no, no, I like to die.

I would fight a person. I ain't because she was like this. This is my table, bro. And I was screaming and strong with your dying laughing. And I said, it ain't funny, dude. Yeah. Why do people do it? I said, not unless you idiots talk me into this and now this woman

figures to kill me. Oh, yeah. I'm really hopeful. That's what we're getting to here. Keep going, Jay. Mine was more, uh, I don't know. I don't think it was. It was pain. It was more uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable. Yeah. Oh, no. My- Was it uncomfortable? I went past uncomfortable. It was pain. I don't think it was pain.

I think it was more, I don't know. I felt like they almost was going to strip me nude for a second. Wait, they. That's what I'm saying. I ain't got there yet. I walked in the deal and I think there was a language barrier, you know. We got in there and she were like, I, a ba' ya? And I was like, yes.

And she was like, oh, we've been waiting on you. I was like, okay, it was a couple's massage. So we're in the same room. And I can't see without my glasses. So I get in the room to like put your phone keys here. Yeah, I get my underwear as you do. Oh, I hate that. Oh, I do too.

I don't know. And I get face down. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, how is you going to get a massage? And your face is in the pillow.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And Bella's in the same room as me. Yeah. And they come up in there and she like, she starts working on my back. Well, I got a sheet over me. And she's like working on me. I'm like, all right, this is fine. You know, this is great.

We're going to get through this. Yeah. Well, then she's on like a little doctor chair. I don't know if you've been to the doctor and they got the little chairs. They got the wheels and they roll. Yeah, a little swively chair. A little swivel chair. Well, about two minutes in, she gets on that swivel chair where my head is and I can't see.

And that joker gets two knees up straddling me over the top of my head. And I was like, well, and pulls the sheet back. What? Yeah. Where did you do with the sheet? He pulled it back a little bit and got to town. I heard her slapping together some lube. Started rubbing me down my back, oiling me up.

And I was like, what is going on? Hunter just made an audible snort from the crowd. She started going crazy, and I was like, she is straddling me over my head. I was like, I don't know what we're doing. So you're... So she's sitting on your head, basically. Yes. I'm getting straddled head down.

If I pick my head up and buck, she'd fly off the top of me, I promise you. And so Get this, get this I'm never going Get this And I don't Like I'm like Bella's in the room

So she can see this Well this is great All right The only thing the lady said to me After this I told Bella this I said all she said Is pressure good

And I was like Yeah And then after she said Then she said Okay you're done And then that was it That was a massage I'm saying

That was like How much we talk That was it That's all word said About 10 minutes later She pulls a Sheke down even more. Pulls my underwear.

I got a high crack. I think there's high cracks and low cracks. Definitely high crack. Okay? And so she put... You got a high crack. I got a high crack. So when she pulled down my underwear, I don't know what she was expecting, but half

my butt was out. And she tucked the sheet in my butt. In my butt. And I was like, oh my gosh. I'm glad my wife is in the room because I don't know where this is going. And I'm not down. I don't want to do this. well she lues me up down there too

I swear she is bucked off and I'm out well she didn't like go but like on my crack I was like she could see her reflection you know I mean this is serious and what the funny part is when she did that I'm just keeping my mouth shut

because a lot of kids watch this show but man I could have some fun right now wow the funniest part about it is I'm like what's it going on but my wife's in the room well when she's doing this Bella turns over. They're turning Bella over to do the front, like get her front side massage.

Well, Bella turns over and I'm like, oh, she's going to get a kick out of this one. My cheeks are out and she's going to see this. And Bella turns over and Bella told me she was just like, and I was like, look, Hey, don't blame it on me. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

And, man, I was like, this is the craziest couples massage I've ever seen. I had to turn over too and I was like, hey, if you go anywhere close to me like you're on the other side, I'm done, Bucco, I can't see you.

I'm getting out of here. And so that was my crack-alicious massage, I guess. Bacolicious. I'm never going to a massage. Yeah. That means. She can see a reflection. Oh, it's white down there.

That things ain't ever seen the sun. I mean, what do you mean? I mean I don't know what I would have done when she hopped on the table Oh yeah She hopped on the table on the back of me too And I was like well calm down

Well on the back of you That's kind of harmless But on my head I'd have been like aye now I didn't know this was a I don't like being in a vulnerable situation Because Thai cuisine's heavy on peppers So like you don't ever know

What you're gonna get Like they're sitting right there That's what I'm saying Just rip up Yeah there's all right down And get hot She put them hot coals on Okay

Okay, okay. Yeah. Where's she put them? Everywhere. What do they call? What they do? They braille them? Brandum. Yeah, I felt like I was getting branded at one point.

And people pay money. I really wish this came with a video package. Oh, no. I don't want to see your crack, but I'd love to watch your body get up and swarm. No, I only want the GoPro from underneath that could see his face. Yeah. At one point, no, no, that's all you need to have it on his face. At one point, I was tight-fisted in there just holding down like,

how was Bella's experience? I mean, she said it was fine. You know, she might have had her own, you know, exposure, I guess. But mine was definitely, I guess, the top tier one. And she got to witness it. Oh, man, that's fantastic. I wonder if those people, like, talk before they game playing, you know, because it is a different language.

And they're like, oh, watch yes. They think this is normal and we're just laughing at it. Yeah, they're just. They're just a little blonde. I think Jay set me up. They talked to the person that was working on me. And today he ain't ever had it done too. Hey,

I walk him over. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I say. And I've only ever had it as therapy. And I had this, I mean, she's an old lady, man. And she said,

you feel that in your back? It feels like a number two pencil. And I said, yeah, kind of, yeah, right there. And she was like, I'm about to break that pencil. No, no. And I said, do what?

And then she got them hooks on me. Yeah. And I said, oh my goodness. That was at Mayfield's bunch, like Drew and him, that massage therapy lady that was in the back. Old lady, man. Old lady, she loved a sagrant, like, because you could smell it, you know, while she was sitting there. Oh, cigarette. Yeah, when she was.

How a sagrant? Yeah, for massage therapists out there, I don't think smoking's a great deal because you all up on people, like, trying to break number two pencils in their back. And I'm just sitting there like, oh, man. Or just trying to rub their crack. I don't know. Yeah, no, they never did that. Mine was very therapy focused, so that's the only massages I've ever had. You went to a different parlor, my friend.

Yeah, you went to one where it sounds like, you know, before Christ could have had a good time or something if you wanted to. I was bored. I'm glad I didn't. Well, yeah, no. I'm not into people touching me, really, especially strangers. Touch him, Cy. We don't touch a lot over here on this. Oh, hey, you rub, sigh.

He'll reach over there and slap you. And we're good with that. Yeah, I was driving him around in that van. I reached over and grabbed his leg when he slapped a snot out of me, man. I was like, hey, man, I was just kidding. I was, like, golly. You surprised me. I know.

You could tell I scared him. Yeah. It was in the dark. It was in the dark. Yeah, it was in the back after a long day. I was flamed me. I reached over and grabbed him by the knee and he turned around slapped me. Of course, I was driving.

I was like, yeah. I'm going sick, bro. Your life is in my hands. We and this little people mover. That's funny. So you going back to get another massage? One's the next one. Should we get you one for Christmas?

Oh, I'm good. I'll pass. Yeah, if you ever get along the one where they walk on it, they're bad about... A walk on you? Oh, yeah. They're bad, but they push down with their feet and then twist. No, you ain't putting your feet on me. Yeah, I'm going to do that.

No, no. Really, it actually, it actually... I ain't doing no car. Sudes you and relaxes you. That sounds like I push your heart out. You're talking about... stress the muscles when they sink and feet in and twist oh yeah that's wow it's why it really is that push you forward out and i would like to have seen your face face down in that pillow it wasn't

comfortable face oh no yeah it was in awe and shock yeah like what is especially when she got on top of his head oh i'm telling you your kids are the right age though martin you need to just lay on the ground and let them walk on you that does feel good no that does they already do that But she don't wipe about 90 pounds. Oh, this is a light young lady, okay? But she knows how to use them feet where it's twisting. Yeah, it's wild. Does she clean her feet before she?

Oh, no, yeah. Yeah, their hygiene is, you know. I don't want nobody's toes on me. Feet are gross, man. I don't like feet. I do not like, I don't even like my own feet. I wear socks everywhere I go. Yeah, and shoes for the most part.

Well, when you say feet, it always brings up feel. That boy has the ugliest feet I ever seen. Yeah, foot model, definitely. See, that's one of them lies. Like if your parents said you could be anything you want to be, Phil couldn't be a foot model. That's not true. You can't be anything you want to be.

Sometimes he could have been like on one of them like fungus feet. Now, he could have been the original Dr. Shoals and dorsher. Yeah. Like if they'd have seen the future. He could actually have been the star of mud grips. Or a circus. Like people may, you know, bearded lady. Check out this guy.

Hey, I'm serious. He had a knock. He had a knot on the side of his big toe. The biggest man is. He's the only man I know that could walk up a 45-degree muddy hill and never slipped. He never had shoes on whenever I was around him. If we were at the house or something. Oh, no, he went.

He never had shoes on. Hey, when the law was after him for about two years, he went barefooted and he lived on Eagle Nest. Apparently a little old, just run down. Oh, that's the name of the town. Wow. community. I was about to say there's... He lived in a house.

A nest. Yeah, pretty much. When you're on a run, you'll do it just by anything. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. He hunted barefooted. And snake-infested woods. I witnessed.

I've seen him put his foot down by so many cotton mouse, and all you'd see is just a white spot like that paper, round white spot. He'd open his mouth to snake wood. He'll move on. He closed it. Yeah. Cotton mouse are venomous.

I might have to get Allison massage, though. She fell down the stairs last night. Did she who? She did what? She fell down the stairs. Is she really? Yep. So Heath was in town for, you know, all the family stuff.

And we're sitting in the living room, just put the kids to bed. Allison's coming downstairs. And I hear. And I'm like, there was no bell. But I was like, it was loud. One of them geckos good after? No, she just missed the foot slip. I mean.

And just our stairs turned. So they're like the stairs that you go up halfway, turn, go back to the other. Uh-huh. So she hit a wall luckily that stopped her. Yeah, you can't fall far on your stairs. And I was like, oh, no. And I was genuinely concerned because, and I ran over there. Then I saw her laughing.

So I was like, okay, we're good. So then I took a picture. I'm not going to show it here because I want, you know, so we married later. That's a good call. You may want one of them massages later. Yeah. Yeah. And so we started laughing.

And I said, what happened? And she was bent over in the middle of the stairs and just laughing. She said, I missed a step, went down. I was like, gosh, we're getting old. Not paying attention. And then all of a sudden, here comes Carter's door opening. And I said, oh, boy. He goes, Mom, what happened?

She goes, I fell, I'm okay. He goes, you fell down the stairs? She goes, yeah, he goes, hey, happen to me twice. Good night. Slams the door walks off. Clams to me twice. Mike drop. He's happened to me twice.

He was like, yeah, no big deal. We're all good. Understand. One more, and he'll be tied with me, mom. you're good i was like thanks for the concern buddy he just slammed the door went back to bed there he was mom you're good all right cool i'll see you later that's fantastic you still got that video of him chasing that gecko that is one that was a bona fide lizard oh that was an actual lizard oh yeah this good

so he got two cups and i was that which is a great way to catch a lizard by the way i said martin says just grab it and he's like no it'll bite me because apparently they saw one Oh, they'll bite you. Oh, yeah, a lizard bite you. Yeah, he'll bite you. Watch it. Watch it, boy. Here we go.

Lizard says. No, girl. Then I called him a pansy. I literally, I could have got the lizard out of my house probably quicker, but it was the best 30 minutes of my Saturday. I just sat there watching my kids make their mom mad while trying to catch a lizard. I loved it, man. That lizard comes around that cuff, and he said, no, man, I'm out. I'm not.

I'm about to be the man of the house. I'm going to assert myself and that lizard said, no, bro, you ain't ready. You ain't ready for the smoke, young fella. I loved it, man. Lottie was, and Lottie was just terrorizing all of them, trying to make... Lottie to kind of go up and grab it, though, ain't she?

No, she's the kind that tells you two and she knows it's venomous. Martin says you should just grab him. No, he'll bite you. You'll bite you. I'm going to go for the much safer route. Lottie had everyone convinced that we had a Komodo dragon in our house. Oh, Lord.

I was like, I'm just going to sit here and, you know, watch this. Oh, I love it, man. I love it. That is so fun. Did y'all kill anything on your trip? We did. Did you? We killed a good buck.

It was fun. It was a great time. Where'd y'all go? We went to Missouri. So back in my people ran a little camp in Mexico, and my grandma did some missionary work. out there while he did that. Well, a pastor that came down there

and helped her build churches, like Cinderblock churches, like little, well, he said like 12 by 15 buildings. Mm-hmm. Had a son that my pap ball really impressed upon somehow or another,

and so he invited him to come hunting. I told him, I'd go with him. They had a lease up there in Missouri. Oh, that's cool. And so we ended up killing one. And it was funny.

The deer come out. And I was like, he's good. He's like, Papeball said, I think I'll take them. I'll take them. I might.

Yeah. There you go, Papal. I love it. It was great. That's fun. Yeah, there's a lot of people now I saw sending me messages. I think we need to do this again in our email, the Hello at Duck Call Room. There's a lot of first happening.

People killing their first ducks and first deer. Shoot us back those, man. That's funny. We like to celebrate that with it. I've got the emails because I do have a couple emails. Yeah. I don't even know what this email says because I haven't read it. But it came in just a minute or two ago.

Oh, no, a little bit ago. and it literally is first buck Yeah I've been getting a bunch of those messages on social now and I try to heart them or thumbs up them and stuff like that but sending them back to us man

we like to celebrate that who got their first buck I want to see it Taylor from I don't even know how to pronounce that Dan Vang Texas Dang Vang Texas Dang Vang

Picture Oh yeah we got a picture There's picture Pite That's good That's awesome That's awesome And a heck of a shot.

Good shot, man. That's awesome. Perfect shot. Heck, yeah. Good shot, Taylor. Good on you. There you go. Look at there.

That's old Taylor from Dang Bang. I hope I'm saying that, right? Bang, bang. I like it. Dana, maybe it's Dana Vang? I don't know. I can't see it. I like Dang, bang.

Texas better. Dang. Bang. Same weekend, she caught her personal best trout. Dang, she's having a weekend. Oh, speckled trout, too. Hey, look, Taylor. Oh, God.

All right. Tell her all outdoors woman. Yeah. Hey, surf and turf, baby. Surf and turf. They have filets and filets. I like it. That's good.

Can't eat the horns, boys. Anyway, that is good. That just happened to be right there when you said that. I was like, there you go. And I know we got a lot of Oklahoma folks listening here, so I'll give you this one, Oklahoma folks, boomer sooner. Y'all took down them tide. Yep.

If you just hadn't lost to Texas, unbelievable. Roll a wagon sooners. Yeah, boomer sooner. All right. Haley from Minnesota. There's, just so happy to have a bunch. Yeah. There's a Haley's first deer.

Good job. Haley. Haley from Minnesota on the board with a dough. I like to celebrate all this. 16. Yesterday, direct heart shot at about a Hondo. There you go. Good job.

She does have a question, though. Oh, go ahead. Favorite way to have venison. Oh, chicken fried. That's it. That's probably my favorite way. That's it. Cut it backstrap out, take it home, clean it up.

wash it off. Cut it up about a quarter inch stick. Yeah, really about as thin as your knife will let you cut it. Yep. And have like a whole steak of it. And then put it in the egg wash. Yeah. Roll it in the flour,

on pepper. Plate in the grease. Right. Fried about a whole minute and a half. I go flour, then egg, then flour again. Just.

He likes a crunchy. Yeah. He likes the flour, boys. Yeah. Well, Megan from Greenback, Tennessee sent a picture of her son. it with his first deer with his dad.

Go on, Big El. Let's go. Go on, Big El. Yes, sir. Got that Chartreuse on. Yes, sir. A charreuse. I like it.

Love it, man. See, that's the fun stuff, man. You get to see these kids. Hey, one of them for sure was a, I would call her a young adult, right? Taylor was a. Yeah, she's married. Yeah, that's what, yeah, a young adult. She said she married a 10 out of 10 who takes her hunting and they stay outside all the time.

Hey, well, good for you. Good for you, Taylor, for marrying a 10 out of 10 and good for him. I think that's all of the recent ones. That's awesome. Now, I love seeing the first. So y'all send them all, man. First are fun. They are,

that's what I'm looking forward to most about the outdoors with these two boys is all the first that are. All right. Well, here's a not a first though. Okay. Here's a good one. No. Chris emails in, uh,

foothills of North Carolina, 57 year old vet, retired law enforcement officer. Thank you, sir. He's, he's got an issue. He's been known to shoot every deer he's ever seen.

Okay. And they all jump on them and say you got to let them walk. You can't just shoot them all. Yeah. He finally kind of listened in and got an old hammer. That's a big. Big eight point. That is a big.

A large eight point. But that's at 57 he got his biggest deer of his life. That's awesome. Well, congrats, man. You earned it. You deserve it. And again, thank you for your service, man. For the veteran and the police and all the thing.

You got other email. We haven't done any emails. I have a couple dialed up and ready today. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Because this is, well, there's a very important email I'm going to come to next. Okay. But the first email, somebody sent from, Julie from San Antonio, Texas.

San Antonio. I love San Antonio. Don't let Charles Barkley get you down, Julie. She just thought this would have been brought up by now. She sent, normally when people send me reels, I'm like, here we go. Yeah. There's a lot to watch, but I can't do it all. But whenever you are showing me video of people putting beavers in a plane and throwing them out would be a parachute to relocate them, I'm going to watch that.

What? Okay, time out. Yeah. Yeah. How did we get this shot, though? In the late 1940s, the Idaho Fish and Game Department relocated a bunch of beavers by dropping them out of airmen. They were like, we got to take them out into the middle of nowhere. In a big sack.

And they just shoved, I mean, I guess they got them away from all their stuff. I got a few beavers I'd like to do that with. Martin only has pet beavers now. Crunchy. You need to show your kids this. Yes. Look at crunchy. I bet he hurts.

You know he's sore. I don't care what kind of pair of things you got. When you hit the ground, man, that hurt. You got CTE for sure. Look, okay, that's cool. I don't know why you would relocate beavers, but... I'm a sit with 1940s. They parachuted beaes into Idaho.

Okay. Interesting. Maybe they were like... If they'd have given them enough time, I think the beaver would have found his way there, but... I wonder if they knocked them out and they woke up by hitting the ground. What would Phil say, though? Bad. If they took...

If they were like, hey, let's just trap the beavers, then we're going to fly them a couple hundred miles away and drop them off. Phil would have shown you just how good of a wing shooter he was. He'd have taken care of that box before it hit the ground. Yeah. I can tell you that. Like, he would have, he would have, he would have either, he'd either taken care of the box or he'd have sold that parachute off. He'd just shot the parachute a couple times and watched it drop.

Yeah. You know what I did last week? Yeah, a pretty hefty chuckle about it, I'm sure. I had an invasion. Imagine if you are just, you know, and I know, and, like, and then you look up and you see a bunch of parachutes, you're like, the Russians have came, boys, in the 1940s, because we're talking about it.

You're like, this ain't good. No, man. The war has started. Yeah, and it's just beavers. It's just the beavers, boys. It's just crunchies falling from the sky. Here to dam up your water. Yeah, that's incredible.

All right, well. 55 years ago this week, the state of Oregon had a 45-foot whale wash ash ashore. It was dead. Yeah. And it was stinking up to the whole town. Yeah. So what would you have done?

Hald that sucker back out to sea. Got a parachute. No. The state of Oregon took a half ton of dynamite, shoved it in there, and blew it up on TV. What year? This year? No, 19-7. Let me tell you what, I ain't happening in Oregon now.

Let me tell you how far Oregon has fallen. They would have gave that well meth. Like, they aired it on TV. They would have been out there giving him Narcan and a place to live in Portland. Yeah. Morgan. They had it got the defibrillators and tried to revive them. I'll be full of dynamite and blow him up.

Hold on. He just sent me a picture. Oh, my goodness. You've seen this, Hunter? I'm trying to watch it. Now, see, this is something AI can't. I know where it gets blown up. You see that peak right there?

Yeah, go to the peak, go to the peak. Move back a quarter of a mile. Oh, yeah. Oh. Hey, Utah mat putting a full of dynamite. I'm telling you. That's cool.

And now there's just whale falling from the sky. Filet. Filet. That's pretty nice. Oh, man. Oh, it's still falling. Imagine if you got hit by rotten whale shrap. Ugh.

That's disgusting. Anyway, if you got more cool government stories from the old days whenever they used to do absolutely outrageous things, send them my way because that makes me happy. That's a real story. Jacob just wants to know where that guy is so he can buy that suit for his store. Oh yeah. Gotta get that one.

I still got to find you that hat. All right. Most important email of the day. All right. Go ahead. Dwayne. From Corbyn Kentucky. Dwayne or D-W?

Is there a E in there? Dwayne. D-W-A-N-E. Oh. Not D-Wain. Okay. Wayne. Okay.

Wayne. Wayne. Wayne. Okay. All right. There's a problem. I don't know that you. You face it, Sigh.

Uh-oh. But there's a problem us three for sure face, along with Big Dave, every male in America. Their wife's order, he heard Rucker talking about his wife order on Amazon and Walmart, all the packages that end up at the door. Yep. But for crying out loud, would you please break the boxes down, woman is what Dwayne is saying. His question to all of us is this. Is it too much?

to ask for her to at least break down the boxes. Instead of just stacking them by the door. Hey. When he gets home from work and she'll say, there's boxes. Duane, that's a good problem. Because the worst is putting an unbroken down box in the trash can. Yes, Duane, at least she's thinking. I give kudos to that.

It could be worse. You could have a non-broken-down box in there with three paper towels and the bag cinched and set outside. So the stack boxes, I actually prefer the stack boxes. If you're not going to break them down, I would rather them stack than in a trash bag in the trash can't. How's Bella do it? I'm going to have a popular opinion here. I've heard this advice one time.

That's the only problem that is is Dwayne's problem and he can just break them down and then it's not a problem anymore because you're never going to convince your wife that it's a problem and she'll never stop doing it. So the best thing you can do is just do it and then you never have to. You never have to grab about it anymore because it's done. It's just that you accept. I don't view. It's your part. I don't view that as a problem, Dwayne. Yeah.

The boxes in a trash can are the problem. For me, that is a major problem. I had to fight that battle. Yeah. Of, hey, quit putting full boxes in the trash can. Yeah. Because now you can't put no trash in there. Oh, that's like because your dumpster is full.

Yeah, the boxes set in a pile I'm totally cool with. Yeah. Like, that is not a problem for me. So now the boxes. are just on top of the trash can, which is better than in the trash can. And it could drive me crazy if I let it, but instead I've just accepted that this is not worth fighting over

and I'm just going to break down the boxes. Another trick, Dwayne, nine and 11-year-old boys are great at breaking down boxes and taking them outside their underwear. They get to play with a canife. Yeah, I'm like, break them boxes down, take them out. I don't know if you have kids, but that's one way to get it off your plate.

I've made the trash, the children's problem. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. It is crazy how many women just throw boxes in trash cans. Well, the problem. And throw them in the garage. I like that.

We got back in the emails, y'all. Yeah, it's been a minute. It's been a minute. What's our phone number? We ain't done that in a while either, huh? You got one? 318, 215, 6559. Is that right?

I don't even know what you just said, but I love it. 318, 215, 6559. Yeah, you got right. Yeah. Do you have any good ones? Yeah. Do one. Let's listen to one. Let's do one. It's been a man. We've had enough to fill up all the space so we haven't done these. It is fun now that we're going into Thanksgiving, it's kind of a cool way to say thank you to y'all. Thank you all for reaching out to us. We do appreciate each and every one of you that listen, watch and all. I like some more life avenues. Yeah. I like telling Dwayne, you just got to break down the box. Yeah, Duane. Again, I don't view that as a problem. The box and the trash can problem. Just accept that it is your role as the man of the house to break down the boxes.

Yeah. All right. What you got? It's always good to hear your podcast. So thankful for you guys. We love you. My name is Katrina. I am from Springfield, Illinois.

Sure. I ain't even got a good guess. Arkansas. I just, yeah. Calcareck. Carolina. Bruce Pine, North Carolina. Carolina.

Sucker. He's so good. He's so good. Oh, look at me like that. Oh, good. And I called to let Johnny D. know that yes, reptiles do go to

the vet. Oh, people are mad at me about that. I've won an iguana for years, and I did take her to the vet. So, um, not all vets will take them. You've got to find an exotic pet vet

vet, but they do have them. We do take their little reptiles to the doctor. We love you guys. Keep doing what you're doing. There you go. All snakes go to the vet, man. That still blows my mind.

All snakes go to the vet and all dogs go to heaven. And all snakes go back where they came from. They go down to the pit. Speaking of heaven. Yeah, talk about it. Oh, man. Well, I, you know, I went on a little trip yesterday to the cemetery and saw a lot of people that meant a lot to me, which is weird that I'm getting of that age, where it's that.

Stop by another cemetery this morning. Saw my Uncle Joe's. He got a new headstone out there, and it says Uncle Joe on it, which is really cool at the end. But I'm always reminded of this verse, Hebrews 12-1, therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. I know you're headed into the holidays. Some people are super excited.

Some people are going into it with people for the first time that they don't have. I am in a situation where I know a lot of those people. And you may be going into it too, but those people who have gone on before us are they're cheering you on until the day we are back with them. So keep running, keep going, keep looking at Jesus. and I'll see you in heaven. Yeah. Hopefully in like 50 years,

because I've got some stuff I'm still trying to do. And believe them first ones are hard. Yeah. That's fine. Like, don't think nothing else of it. The first ones without them are hard. So, and I'd love to tell you the second one,

third one, all that gets easier, but it just gets different. It doesn't get, now at least we've got twins to kind of shroud you from that and their excitement. So, which by the way,

the neighbors put up the grinch. Oh, yeah. So they're fired up. What about crunchy? Because, no, no beavers yet. The Grinch and Maxie. They love Maxie. Maxie.

Anyway, thank you all so much for listening. We love and appreciate y'all this holiday season. Be with the ones you love, man. Be thankful that we're here and, you know, that we have another chance and that we have plenty of time to turn things around in this world. We love y'all. Thank you all so much for tuning in to the duck hall room. We'll see you next time.

Peace out.