Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Makes Godwin REALLY Uncomfortable & It's Amazing

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Godwin learns about Si's way of doing colonoscopies, and this makes him VERY uncomfortable. Martin spirals into a full-blown panic when he severs his internet cables in an unfortunate lawn-mowing incident. Si boasts about "robo-killing" unknown callers to his home phone, and that has the boys wondering how many great things Si missed out on because he hung up too fast. Godwin forgot the essentials for his last event. Si asks everyone what God looks like to them and reveals his "Star Trek" take. Martin and John-David talk about their favorite food to eat cold. And Martin and John-David give advice to a father who isn't taking care of essential responsibilities around the house. -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the duck call room. Hold up. We're happy to have. Hold up. Oh, we're not starting. Wait. Wait.

Wait. Now. Okay. Hello, everyone. And welcome back to the duck call room featuring Cy Roberts and Justin Martin and John Goblin and John David Owen. We're welcome. Happy to have you.

That ain't what you said while ago. I'm tired. I'm about to say there's going to be a lot of people that say, man, we like this, John David. Here you go, Kenny. Here's boring, man. Here you go, Vic. Oh, man.

I don't know him. Oh, you'll find. Wow. You'll go read that. Wait a minute. I'm not ready. Put your jigs on your microphone. You got to get my microphone back right.

So you're struggling? I'm on the struggle. Why? Of the bus. It's only an hour. It doesn't matter. Do what? It feels like.

I wanted it to happen real bad, but I forgot about the first like two days after it happens. I love this time check. I do too. I'm for it. I wanted it to happen. It's dark when I get up now. It's dark when everybody gets up, which is a good thing.

My kids slept till his daylight. It's usually dark when I go to bed. Just wait till they're set. Well, my kids wouldn't wake up this morning, but last night, whenever I was like, all right, bedtime and they're like, it only feels like at 7.30. Well, that's because you told them the time change. They swung from the ceiling. You can't let them know the info.

You just let them look at them see the clocks. I'm like, oh man, I'm supposed to be tired. It's 8.30. I did make a mistake, Martin. What? You told them. Don't let them know that. Look, knowledge is power.

They don't need that kind of knowledge. So Carter wake up as early as he can. That way he can get started on all the things that he feels he needs to do that. Well, how else he's going to be Abraham Lincoln? Yeah. You know? So he wake up, ready to go. So we have to, like, we have this clock that turns green when he's allowed to get out of bed.

It's like for 630. You didn't fix that clock. I didn't. But I had this idea. I was like, hey, Carter, the time is changing. So it's going to be different. So you can't get out of bed, but I went the opposite way on accident. So he just sat in bed until his clock said seven, which was eight.

And he said, dad, this morning was so boring. I felt bad. It was a tough morning. That'd be all right. At least he stayed in there. He obeys. Yeah. He's on.

You've got compliance, which is half the battle, right? He read a bunch of books, I assume, about all sorts of things. But, man. No, mine handled it like a champ. I was a little concerned. But they did good. How did you handle it? Oh, I got about about clockers morning.

He didn't even know. He said the time change. When you're quasi-retired, such as that man, time change don't matter. Yeah, my wife said, oh, by the way. Or days. Yeah. I said, what time it? She said, whatever.

And I said, no, wrong. Mine's got different. She said, you hadn't jumped forward yet. No. I said, well. Yeah, he hadn't fixed his watch yet. Oh, really? Yeah, I have.

What time? It's 217. Oh, he has fixed it. Wait, did I fix mine wrong? Oh, mind you know. I just can't tell time. He can't tell time, boy. He fixed his watch.

He has numbers, number of problems. I have a lot of problems. Oh, he needs a digital output. Oh, yeah. It's hard to read that old monologue. or whatever it is. I was in Virginia, so I was already ahead, so I was double ahead. You want to know what to send a man into a panic in this day and age?

Friday, I left. Oh, wait a minute, I'll tell you. Okay. Go to an event and look for your duck calls, and they're not there. Uh-oh. I can make it without duck calls. Well, I did. I went to Richmond, the Bass Pro, and bought some more.

You put it on the company? I should. You should have. I would have approved it for you. I said, I went about duck cows that I built. Yeah. I'd have said,

hey, man, that's marketing. I would have approved it for you. You should have put it on. Send me your receipt. I'll get you your money. So that's just one thing. So what's your thought? So Friday, I left work a little early because, you know,

I saw the rain coming. I was like, hey, I'm going to mow my grass for the first time. So I did. If you mow your grass and you cut your cable and internet lines. You got on. When you have two very, small children who's pretty much everything depends off cable and internet right now between their monitors their little sock things that side got them all depends on that you you run into a

small panic you're like life is tough so then you get on the phone with your service provider that's next to useless so then you call a buddy who also works in this business say hey man you got any of these kind of fittings i just need to hook back up i got i got enough cable i got enough I'm good. I just need the ends. Just need to put them back together. And he did. And his guy stopped by like 7 o'clock Friday afternoon and put that stuff back to

Friday night, whatever you want to call it, and put that stuff back together for me. I slid him a hondo. I was about saying most people don't get that kind of treatment. No, I slid him a hondo and he took his wife to dinner. So, you know. Win-win situation. But buddy, I was in a panic. Whenever that lawnmower went over that and I heard,

I said, oh, no. I knew exactly what it was. I knew, I knew. Well, they didn't bury it right or whatever. Them stupid idiots were supposed to bury it back in October and still haven't shown up to do it. Okay, yeah. So, like, what's funny is last week, I went online, and since they're a corporate place, I made a safety concern. There you go.

Safety concern. Because I figured that would get a reaction. And it did, and the technician showed up, and he was like, yeah. Yeah, but I can't do that. I said, okay, that's fine. I said, that's no big deal. And then the next day I cut it. Oh, and the next day you cut it.

Yeah, not intentionally. I weed-eated mine one time, but it wasn't it. I don't know what I weed-eated. It's still sticking out of the ground. Probably your phone, old falling line. But don't work, I guess. It might work. I don't know what it is.

Do you have a landline? I don't know. Then you wouldn't know. I think I- You know what a landline is. I'm aware of what a landline is. I think I have a landline because it's cheaper to get the landline with the cable. Some sort of bundle.

But I don't have a phone hooked up to it. So I probably have a phone number somewhere. He piggybacked it, boys. There you go. You need to go buy your phone. You need to go buy your landline and just start calling people. Hey. Hey.

Call Si. He'll hang up on you. Just sitting here in my kitchen next to the wall. I'll roboc kill him. He can hang up on you with the best of them. Just when you think, I bet he won't hang up this time. He keeps going. I wonder how many times Ed McMahon's called him.

Oh, no, no. Hey, it's, uh, it's, uh, he may want two million dollars. It ain't no telling them what, your boats doesn't come in and you hung up on it. Yeah. You pulled the plug on it. I pulled the plug on it. That's right. Ain't no telling how much money I've cost myself.

Yeah. By playing a robo. I ain't no telling how much you've saved yourself either. Yeah, because I would, I'm not saying side would fall for it, but. I am saying that. Size is in the target audience. Here's what you, here's what you. What's what you do.

I'd make Zai rocket money account if he ever just started answering them. I just answered the phone and preach the gospel to them. That's what you do. Well, no, because there's too much of his computer. Okay, because here's the deal right now what's going on. The phone rings and I look and I said, wait a minute, that's a 318 number. Let me just answer it and see. So I answer it and say, hello.

Well, hey, you got about one, two, three. If you don't answer me back, it's, bop! I don't think you give him that long. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do. I give him about three seconds. No. And I don't get Martin that long. My wife told me, she said, hey, why are you talking?

Here's the problem. He starts the three, here's the problem. He starts the three count when it's on his leg and he's hit an answer. So that's one, two, three, bomb. So I'm like, sigh, sigh, sigh, no. I hear it hit his little TV tray that's got his tea on it right beside his chair. So boom. You hear the ice rattling and then. So then inevitably I text Christine and say, can I talk to your husband?

And then we talk. There you go. But if it's important for it, they'll call back. Okay. That's true. Just because he has a phone doesn't mean you get to talk to him. Oh, no, no. But hey, I got to call back.

Oh, no. They do call back. Oh, no. You got a call back. three times. I said, hey, this boy's hard-headed. I can confirm that is not true. I said, this boy's hard-head, bam.

Why don't you just get rid of the phone? Then I'm sitting there ready going, and he said, I said, he finally got the message. He ain't called him back. All right. Have you thought about just not having the phone? Well, no, no. I give one chance to leave a message. If it's important, they'll leave a message.

But no, no, they just call. When's the last time you left a message somewhere? When's the last time you listen to a message? You hang up and then send a text. If I call somebody and it says after the tone leave your message, I leave a message. Do you say your name and phone number? No, I'm not going to say my name and phone number. Okay, just check it.

Not on here. I did that once before. No, I meant like when you leave a message. Oh. Hey, this is a side right. Hey, why would I leave a message saying who I am? They just said, hey, hey, leave a message at the tone. Well, when the tone hit,

Hey, call me back, bong. That's it. That's all I say. To be fair, it does tell them who it is nowadays. That's my favorite. Willie will leave a message. Hey, this is Willie Robertson. It's like, duh.

It says that. Yes, call ID, Willie Robertson. He does it on his Instagram, too. Hey, guys, it's Willie here. Yeah, it's your page. You're the person in the video. That drives me now. That legitimately drives me insane.

Hey, guys, it's Willie here. That's right. And it's not just him. It's everybody. on social media that introduces themselves on their page. Hello, everyone. I'm like, come on guys. Like, no, please stop.

They know. They're following you. They know who you are. It even says your name up there at the top. Yeah, they know who you are. But anyway, let's take our first break. Let's take a break. Yeah, I'm going to get some coffee.

I'm going to take a nap. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know, we love to eat beef around here. And that's because of our friends over at Trials. Triedels beef makes such a good product, baby.

Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sall Robertson, would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from,

but with Triedales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, So they've been at it for a while. Now look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped

straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're

stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Trial's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. You don't go heavy, J.D.?

Oh, heavy. Yeah. Sure. Where are we going heavy? I'll buckle up for a good time. I'll go heavy. Okay. When Jason Robertson.

I told you that coffee to do it there. When Jason Robertson was teaching the youth. the teenagers. Were you in there? No. At White's Ferry Road. He told me this. Oh.

He would tell them, okay, here's the question. Close your eyes, and here's the question. When I tell you, I want to know the picture of God. What do you see when you say, okay, what does God look like? And he got a lot of different answers. One of them said, a white head,

white flowing long hair with red eyes. Red eyes? Yeah. In other words. Yeah. No, no. That's what them bass do in the spring.

They get them red eyes. Oh, yeah. He was saying, okay, he looked up at, and he thanked God as he's, he's mad and angry all the time. And he's just up there waiting to whack you when you mess up.

That was the view. Yeah. But it's a, it's a, been taught about that one. It's a legitimate question. Yeah. Like physically or like does he have a scow on his face? What do you see when you somebody tells you, hey, you know, draw me a picture or describe God to me?

I just see a bright light. Okay. No, no. No man, no, no human, anything. Just a bright light. I kind of, I would say I'm more along the lines of, and not to compare these two things at all, but like a Zeus-looking dude,

like an old ripped dude. So gray hair, kind of grayish white hair. You picture wisdom then. Yeah, like Santa Claus but muscular. Thoris, Daddy. Santa Claus, but he cares. Yeah. Yeah.

This is funny, okay, because I all done the last of Sunday. Does Al say him wearing a vest? Well, no, no. Yeah. Right. He may. He must. He may.

But it's wild. Let us make Al in our own image. He was saying, you know, one of the best things was, you know, is that, hey, a Christian, okay, that believes in Jesus, okay, should have no problem with death. There is no fear there. No. Okay. That's what most people fear. Well, no, no, because that's the thing.

That's what the devil had over us, okay, is, hey. you know, death. Well, Jesus conquered that. He did. Okay, so we don't fear death. Nope. Okay, and there's another thing, that's why I said, when you said, like, I've got to go read the Bible a lot of verses now because of what, you know, Jason started it,

then Al teaches a lesson in it, and my mind starts to, woo, woo. I'm just under the belief that if God was in human form, then he would have come down here himself instead of sending Jesus. Well, he did say let us make man an our own image. Boy, we got deep and theological. I don't know.

I just don't see him as something to compare yourself to, like, muscles. And I just, I just think. That's what I see. I would never say. I think it's incomprehensible. Hey, look here. I ain't right.

Which is why the bright light is like. Yeah, fast forward. Okay. Me and my wife are watching television, and we're watching, okay, Star Trek, the new one.

Where are we going? Exploring strange new world. Look, they come up on a nebula. It's just a big gas, a gas cloud. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Saw one of those at NASA. The guy that's running all the things when he was talking about, okay, what are you picking up? Mr. Spock? Yeah.

Well, he says, hey, what do you pick up? He said, well, I'm picking up an intelligent intelligent life's in the nebula yeah

okay and look when I thought that I said hey here's here's one for describing God an awareness or a consciousness of something

okay and that went along with what you're talking about because I said okay wait a Jesus is the lie of the world so now I've got to re-look and reread that when it says

he's the light of the world. Well, here's another one to look at. You know, God is pure energy of the most, how do I put this? You know, we've got a nuclear weapon. That's the smallest firecracker ever compared to the power of God.

Mm-hmm, correct. Okay. So then you get, you know, this just keeps, you know, snowballing as I go on. Yeah, because Jesus is the light of world. And the coolest thing you need to do this the next time you're flying, and it's dark. Fly like leaves Monroe at 6th, it's still dark, and you get in the air and you go to Texas to Dallas.

And about the time you're getting there, dawn is breaking. Well, one second, you're completely in darkness. You can see, the only thing you can see is the lights of the city. And then all of a sudden it's when the sun peaks and the first ray of light comes to, then you can see everything. I feel like I'm watching a lion king. No, no, no, because I'm serious.

It's the wildest thing to watch daylight coming into existence from darkness. That's why we get them and go, huh? everyone. No, no, no. So you can watch it happen. Yeah. But when I think of that,

awareness or consciousness of something. Okay, and like all the good stuff that you really, that we have or that we can have an opportunity to have, to receive,

I call them the intangibles. You know, because you can't see, you can't, you can't say, oh, hey, here's a handful of faith. no you can't or you can't say hey here's light no yeah so there's so many things how to describe the almighty yeah yeah and then when you say we know wait a hold like jd said what did he say let's make man in our image well guess what jesus is the exact represent of the father.

My man, Jesus was flesh and blood. Just like me with one big difference, he'd never seen. So it just gets wilder and wilder and wilder. I do have a question for you. Yeah. You think of them Star Trek people pulled up and shot towards Earth, they'd still pick up any intelligence? Probably not.

Probably not. I think we probably at our lowest level. Nothing in a while. No, they were supposed to tell me, no, the, hold it, they're scanning. They said, Spock is scanning, and he said, where are you picking up? And he'd probably look back at Captain Kirk and said, nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. There ain't nothing at, boy. Especially if they shined and hit the interstate and people driving on it. Oh, boy. Never mind. That's neither here or there. I love when you get on something like that, though, like Sigh. Well, no, no, no.

Because I'm on something right now. I'm not going to talk about it on a podcast because I'm not well-versed in a lot. I'm on Judas Ascaria. right now, though, like studying that dude kind of, and it's like... No, this is scary, though. But you get all fired up about it like he is right now. No, no, no. This is scary, okay?

Because, like, I woke up this morning early. Like, probably, what, 4 o'clock? Yeah, and I'm laying there, and I'm thinking about... I'm thinking about... Hey, he was... No, no, God is always whispering in my ear in the wee hours of the morning, tubby, hey, check this out.

Good, you won't. come watch my kids. No, no, because hey. Come check out wailing. Because they don't whisper. As a young man, you ain't got time you're fighting making all the junk you're fighting of this world. You ain't got time to just lay there and actually think about all the stuff.

Okay. You should make time for that, though. No, no, you really should because you're missing out. I intend on getting that about 18 to 24 months. I look at it. I look at it, okay. And I've actually got a better understanding. You know, if somebody asked me, hey, okay,

describe this God you're always talking about. Well, now I can't. You know, there's an awareness. You know, there's a consciousness of something. Way, way bigger and way greater than you are. He can see Adam and. us at the same time. And another thing.

And, yeah. He sees stuff that isn't. Go way past us. As it's our. It's our. It is. Things that are not yet here.

Well, they are. They're here. For him, for him, they are. They're there. Yeah. You know, they're solid. That's why it's just. That's why he is God and I am not.

Amen. into that. Well, let's take a break, and we'll be back right after this. It's something I always say when I'm speaking is talk about all the pretty things I've seen on this earth, traveling around. He just spoke all that into existence. No, no. You can talk about that? But he's going back to prepare a place. Can you imagine what heaven's going to look like that? He put some thought into it. He just whaped that all of us. He's building this one. That's why last week I went to Michigan.

That's why. Snow, two-foot snow, cold. Then once in Florida, you know, 85 degrees. Everything was so different. Yeah, I know. So different. The landscape. And the people.

Crazy. We already mowing. Well, no, fair where I come from. I ain't even started yet. Oh, that couldn't get through the snow. No, they ain't even got no leave or no buds or nothing on that trees. It still looked like wintertime. We got.

and ain't even started up up there. We got two solid weeks of spring, and then whatever happened last night happened, and I'm confused. What happened last night? I don't know. I woke up and I was freezing cold. I was like,

it's 64 in this house. I said, I didn't know if I was supposed to turn the heat on. Yeah. It was spring. That's what I estimated today. I said, what's Christine got that stupid thermostat set on?

And she said, why are you cold? I said, I'm freezing to death. She said, well, I've been mopping and I turn the fans on when a mop to help dry it out. I said, oh, okay, that may be part of it. Well, carry on. That may be part of it, but I'm still freezing my tail off.

But don't stop that. Yeah. It was cold this morning. Yeah, it's chilly. It was a bad storm here the other night. Yeah, what? Sunday morning. Oh, yeah, the Saturday nights last Sunday morning, woke me up.

I said, good Lord. And I was just sitting there looking at that monitor saying, please don't wake them up. Please don't wake them up. Please don't wake them up. Because it was a pretty good light show that it brought with it. There was some shaking of windows. Speaking of light show, the best one I've ever seen was in North Carolina.

What? Lightning. Oh, okay. Lightning. I didn't know if it's... Oh, hey, you want to see some lightning and power. Yeah. And look, like an idiot.

You stood outside. I could have died because I just went outside and watched it. And it just... Did you have an umbrella? Oh, no. It's over me just right. I mean, look like it's a little. up there you could touch it.

You're going everywhere. What was that last part? You know, and I'm talking, look, and hey, not fingers. It looked like rivers of lightning. You like old boy on Shawshank when he got out. Rivers of light. Oh, no, no. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, no, I was just in, I was in wonderment. Okay, of it. Because I'm telling you, you're talking about a light show, son. See, that was that kid in Jason's class. God was just... Yeah, hey, poor did you like any touch it. I don't care how big fireworks is. Okay

The 4th of July What a good day Man yeah I know God got every reason to be angry I just I don't think he wasted his time But he don't Yeah he don't

I'm saying He can fix it Like that Here's my personal opinion Well he flooded the whole thing He spends up That's what But what I'm saying is

When he gets mad He ain't mad the whole times If he was They'd be like three of us here Because he just flood everything drought, everything, locusts,

everything, you name it. We all be paying for. Job would still be around Jesus and maybe Phil Roberts. I feel, I feel God that's what I'm saying.

Does two things a lot. He laughs a lot because we do some stupid stuff. Oh, yeah. And he's laughed and then he cries a lot because of the ones

that will not learn and turn to it. So then with the two things that I think he does the most is he laughs a lot and then he cries a lot because he don't want to lose one. Yeah. I think I agree with that.

I can get behind him. Because you're getting angry. No, he don't get angry. He don't get angry. He don't get angry. The solution is quick and swift. Yeah, yeah. So if he stayed mad all the time.

I like that one. Well, no, no. When the Israelites were complaining because they were hungry and they wanted, they were tired of manna and he was like, you want some quail? Yeah. Watch this. And just, he said it was going to come

out their nose or it was going to be so much. Yeah. And you know he had to laugh after that was over. Oh, absolutely. Gotcha. Yeah. And don't stick none back.

He didn't want you to keep none. I won't know. Why would you keep from? He's providing it. Mm-hmm. You forget. Cleal? Well, no, I'm just saying.

He's provided it every morning. I know, but it'd be hard and I put some in your freezer. Well, I'm just saying. Hey. Hold on now. Hold on now. Then things be pretty good there about six months from now.

What if I got them? That's why I look at all the wonders. And that's just one of them we talk about. The honeybee. The honeybee and the honey that they make. Is that like a bamba bee? A bomba. Oh, hey.

No, you don't mess with bumble bees. The bamble bees are full of. Now, them bumble bees are full of anger. The bumble bees are angry. And they stay. angry. Well, I tell them at live in the ground,

they're the ones that stay angry. Oh, hey. Don't even drive over. I want to hear the PBS dissertation of the honeybee, though. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, the honeybee is the strongest

shape of nature. That's where he's going. Look, that's what everything that flies, that hexagon. Uh-huh. That's what we've got in our plain wings, okay?

Because that's the strongest. Now, get this. A honeybee done this, that's the strongest thing there is, is that hexagon shape, six sides. Yeah. Okay, it can hold the most weight and a little, blizz, blizz, he's the one that come up with. And look, he does it by just eating pollen and then mixing it. You reckon if they screw one up, like one side a little longer another, they go back and fix it? Hey, they don't ever screw it up.

I know. That's wild. If you took that and measured each one of them, you're wasting your time. Because when you measured the first one, guess what? All the other thousands behind it are going to be exactly the same. Every time I stumbled across it, the last thing I do is got time to measure. No, I ain't, man. It's time to roll.

I can see Jeff and Jessica's bees. Yeah, it's time to get the heck out of there. I've actually never seen Jeff and Jessica. I don't mess with their bees, though. I know they do, but I never, I've always been waiting to see like Jeff in a bee suit across the pond. Oh, no, no, no, you got to be, it takes certain, certain type people to do bees. I'm just saying, I can see bees. You've got to have a, baby people.

No, no, you've got to have a confidence in you, though. Because I'm telling you, hey, all you're going to do is you're going to have a little smoke pot that you can just push a little button. I need a text, Jeff. A couple of puffs of smoke. Because I'd like to watch them. Well, these are thousands of bees. What does that smoke do? I don't know, but if you're going to get me to mess with a big old hive of bees,

there's going to be some smoke involved, I guarantee. Well, no, no, no. And it's going to be made from gasoline and a mac. Yeah, but, hey, most people are going to say it's going to be on the inside of the suit. I ain't going out there in my right mind. Oh, no. Some of the funniest things. I tried that mess.

I got to eat up. Oh, no. The funniest things ever happened was Robbie Beehis. That ain't funny. Oh, yes, it is. No, no, no, it's hilarious. It's expecting when there's somebody else is expensive. It's dumb.

No, no, look. Somebody else is expanse. My dad and had me help him, we're on the ports. Here comes a big swarm of bees. They land on one of them big purple vines, flowers. You know, they land and hey, it's a bottle of them, but they're back around on this vine. Dad said, hey, go give me two chairs. I wouldn't grab them.

Went around there and we had a shed. I wouldn't have been able to find them. Put two shit back there, right? I can't find no two. Oh no. I went back and put them out. Then he said, come on. He took his pocket knife out and he said,

grab this limb right here. Okay. He sits there and cut the limb in two. I'm holding one end of it. Well, the pocket knife. So he had to whittle on it. Oh, no. So he cuts some more and he's shaking this thing.

Okay. So then me and him, me on one side. him on the other carrying this ball of bees by that back around. We go back and sit it on the chair and he sits down and he takes a hammer and knocks a hole, a pine knock out of the board. A bee rolls up, the queen bee rolls up and he just right in that dot hole. Thumped it right in. Thumped her right in.

Hey, they do a tornado. And they're all going that hole. Well, from then on, every time it's time to run. Beehive, we just go out there, take two nails, lift out the square door that he could put in. Okay, Phil, look, Phil's one doing this. He's got about four jerseys on. Home-made B-suit, if you will.

He's got on three pair of blue jeans, okay? He's got on a, the screen wire helmet. Okay, but what he didn't do? Totally the back porch. They're like a redneck vent. No, no, look. He took that board out and he's looking at us like this. Well, hey, needless to say, there was a honeycomb about that big on that board

covered with bees. Well, when it hit, guess what? He was covered with bees. I'm talking about you couldn't even see his blue jeans or the shirts. They was all over him. And look, hey, three pairs of blue jeans didn't stop them. stingers. No.

Four shirts didn't stop them. All smoke, no gas. Oh, Lord. Hey, here he goes. It was funny. Let's take, yeah. It was funny. Oh, yeah, we're all inside the house watching this.

But hey, that honey sure was good because, hey. Who's a man? Number three, wash tub. Full of honey. Slam, full of honey comb, and honey. Is that bigger than a number four? I don't know four. No, four.

No, I think three. I think for three is the biggest. I don't know. But anyway, it was level four with honey and the cone. Well, excellent. Let's take a break. We'll be back. Take a break.

We got to go get some biscuits. We used to get, I just had a sweet gum tree. With the balls? With the spike balls? Yeah. Yeah, you used to go up and cut it. Take your hatchet and chop you a couple of notches on it.

And then come back like an hour later and just get you a roll of gum. Chut from the sap. Martin? Anything? I wouldn't there. Long as I've been alive, you can buy gum at the gas station. Big red juice and free.

We used to get it off. It used to say only a quarter. Hey, this was free. Free 99. All it cost you is take a butcher knife and hit it a couple of times. Did it taste good? Yeah, sweet. It was gum.

Sweet gum tree. So it was better than the black gum tree? Hey, guess what? This gum, when I was in Michigan, they had some blue containers on maple trees up there. Maple syrup. Maple gum tree.

Maple gum tree. I ate pancakes last night and I put cereal on. Yeah, that is. Put them up. You ate pizza for lunch yesterday. Put that maple syrup on a pancake. I can't have none of that. He can't have none of that, boy.

That picture you posted on Instagram of your wife's lunch pizza. My wife can make a pizza. She can make a pizza. Praise be. Willie's pretty good at making a pizza. He ain't got nothing on Allison. Uh-oh. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. No, I'll say it. I will put them next to each other for anybody to taste. Okay, well, all right, next time we're going to do, pizza? It's on. When does Allison want to be back on the podcast?

Can she bring pizzas? She bring pizzas? It's game on. Sorry, I got one piece left. Oh, you got one. No, he's saving. I just remembered that. It's for a rainy day.

It ain't going to be there when you get home. It is. You got seven kids, man. One of them is going to be a fan. This one got the peppers and all that stuff. Oh, hey, you can go eat them. Decoy. You're going to get home.

I ain't going to be nothing but a pile of peppers laying on a paper towel. She made that. No, you got, boy. Favorite towel is a pepper. Crazy spot. Where they warmed it up. I ain't going to warm it up. They just eat it cold.

Praise be. I love cold pizza. We eat way too much pizza. And I love cold fish. Cold hamburgers? I ain't into cold fish. Oh, man. I need a cold hamburger.

I love cold fish. No. You don't like cold fish? Oh, man. I'm not a cold fish guy. You don't like fish. Man. Oh, I like fish.

No, you don't. I like it hot. I like fish two temperatures, so hot you can barely eat it and then in the refrigerator the next day. That's the only two temperatures I like fish. I had some fish. He just likes on a plate, boys. I had two dinners.

That's living right. Well, I had to drop my kids. off at my parents' house and they were eating dinner, which was some shrimp and some fried fish. They eat dinner with them and didn't say nothing. God, I don't eat again. Well, no, then we went to a church thing and we were all doing breakfast. And I said, I can't be rude.

I had to pancakes. Give me some of that bacon. There you go. Got to be polite. Don't be crude. And that's what got me this size. What are you going to do? Oh, man.

Now, them lunch pizzas ain't good for the, for the body, but, you know, If that's not, I don't. They're good for the soul. I don't want to be right or good. Crawfish. That's what I can eat crawfish. Can you? I want some crawfish.

Well, go get you some crawfish, oh, buddy. They're cheap. Hey, you, are you had some other day? I know, but not enough. I had to leave. I think it's good, too. And I ain't even my big crawfish man. That boy can cook some crawfish.

Yeah, but Taylor, Taylor has done a good job on you. Yeah. Grant. Grant. Yeah, he got that day. from Texas. Yeah, he got that down. Kind of a shame how much better he is at that than all the rest of that.

He matched sweet potato in there, JD. Oh, yeah, that's, oh, yeah. I wasn't sure neither till I. Hey, no. Yes, sir. That's right on. You want that. Yeah, Grant, the kind of guy that's a crawfish bowl, try to make it healthy.

No, Grant, no, that's, Grant has thrown in everything he can think of. Mushroom. Now, that mushrooms. That fungus is good in there. And pineapple. Yeah, the canned pineapple. He just knock holes in through it in there. Hey, that's the hottest thing it was.

Them brussels sprouts. I had about four of them and they burnt me up. Did he put Brussels sprouts? They were good. He taught me to put Brussels sprouts in there. I can tell you where they would be good. They will hurt you. Oh, yeah.

They would be good. It hurts to eat them over and though they're delicious. Then it hurts the next morning. Yeah, good twice. It's delicious. It's good twice. Coming out. That little mini cabbages will show enough get some things.

thing's flowing. What's you talking? Colin cleanser. Oh, buddy. You got to keep it cleansed. Hey, if not, you'll end up, you know, hooping in a box and sending it in. I'm going to have to go do that. Oh, we need to ask Godwin that.

What? About getting... Godwin, have you had a colonoscopy? Yeah. Did you do it in a box? I don't remember. Oh. I've had it both ways.

He blocked it out of his neck. But, hey, colon guard. Oh, I remember. Colin guard, you just, they ship you a box and you're pooping it. And then ship it back to them. Hey. I'm serious, the easy way to do it. That way is not intrusive.

And he hangs up when the phone read. That's definitely as seen on TV. Are you nervous about your colonoscopy? That's right. Hey, go colonn guard. I ain't see a guy with that perplexed that you told him about the bidet and Vesekek. That's the same realm. Same round, boy.

I found their website. It's a guy when you're out on pooping in a bottle. Oh, it's a prescription. So. Yes. Does it have a, I mean, an expiration date? It's already expired. For sure.

That is not safe to eat. No, hey, you, UPS this back to them. That's why I think the UPS man extra today at work. You know, first day delivery. I used to pick up cow pies and throw them at people. Do you have to put it on ice? I'm just thinking, lying here. Them UPS trucks get hot, bro.

No, no, no, no. We're back on this. I don't think that would be an accurate. They send you a bucket. Diagnosis. And then they got a solution to pour in the bucket. That's a joke. That ain't a joke?

Yeah, that's a joke. No, they're calling guard. Look at this guy. That's it right there. See the bucket? That's a sweet. That's a sweet. Women pool filter.

Oh, I'd say, yeah. And why is he doing it next to the sink? There's no toilet in this room. That's the way he's going to unboxing it. Show me what the price is. It's prescription, so there's probably not one. I don't pay nothing. Oh, yeah.

He got that good insurance. I got insurance. I got prescriptions filled every month, but I have to pay for it. You got Duck Commander insurance. I remember those days. That took a weird turn. I mean, somebody getting paid for that. Oh, yeah.

Hey, you can either go with the doctor and be reamed or you can poop. You can be poop. I think I'm going to go with the duck. Well, hey, I'm going to go with the poop. It's not easier. I'm sorry for bringing this back up, Martin. But I'm not sorry. We're going to take a break.

I'm not sorry we're talking about this. There's nothing was wrong with doing that. I just can't believe what your phone rings. You hang out. This is for your health for crying out loud. The duck calls. Call Room is now a proud sponsor of Be sure to get chat.

We want you alive to listen because there's only like 80 of you left. And you need to get checked. My man said you can get rings. I think we're on a break now. I don't know. If not, hey, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back with hello at duckcallroom emails.com. My man said you can get reams.

When are you going back? You kind of look at another way. Yeah, you got to do it again. Why? They tell you when to come back. Yeah, about it every four. years. They ain't told me to come back.

When you're age. You might want to check into it. Yeah. Yeah, you're supposed to do it ever so often. Once you get over 50, you're supposed to do it regularly. Hey, we took a break, but we're still talking about it. Every two years. God, what's you're supposed to do it every four years?

Every two years or four or something like that. I'm a little. I think it's 10. I'll say when you get over 50 out there. They told my dad he could come back in 10 years, the last one he had. Yeah. I don't recollect when they told me to come back. Well, you might want to check.

It's probably been 10 years. time. It's time. Last time you went to the doctor, they told you had something you didn't even know about. That's right. What was that? Hey. When was that?

Your diabetes. Yeah. You wasn't even feeling bad. Huh. You should have it every 10 years, Godwin. And you should do it soon, so we have a great episode to talk about it. And unlike the Nail Salon, I won't be joining you. I just is one in a minute.

I'll stay in the waiting. A party. Yeah. sit in the waiting room, but I ain't going to come back. We'll go to wait a little. I ain't got no pain or nothing to need to go. Yeah. You got to check. That's what's important about it. I don't have to check to say, no, not hurting. No, no hurt. I just checked. I just checked. He's just checked. Or you can just poop in a bucket. Yeah, it's easy now. They write you a paper, you take it to Walgreens, you pick up a pool filter, you poop in it, you give it to the UPS man. They send you an email

with your diagnosis within two to three business days. They probably, they probably, they probably going to sell you some property somewhere next. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oceanfront? Yeah. Arizona. Is it a good deal?

Yeah. I got some oceanfront property. That's a scam. Arizona, boys. Not if California fall off. Poof in a box. Oh. What next?

I don't know. Johnny D. emails, huh? Poping in a box. For real, go schedule your colonoscopy of you. You're a man of that age. It's important. Help.

I need somebody. You ain't even got? Oh, wait, I don't know. I don't know. Okay, we got some really heavy emails. I'm telling you, that was, that one started out, help. I don't know if I want to do it.

I mean, how heavy do y'all want to go? I don't care. Hey, we don't win heavy, so let's- What else we got to do? Continue on. Okay, this one's about as heavy as we've ever done. All right. All right.

My name is, thank you for parentheses in this and helping me say it. Yahira? been married almost six years they both wanted children first born almost two months old this is a lady by the way she works full time 40 hours a week

whenever I get home still got to cook still got clean baby's fussy that's on her my husband hasn't ever changed baby's diaper even changes clothes sweeps or mops about once a month but that's it

he does bathe it a little bit sometimes but basically she feels like she's doing everything by herself and he gets mad if she brings it up so he working too yeah I think they're both working they're both full time is what it would see

it's a I told you it was heavy because somebody needs to grow up they won't need to talk to her about it There's even video games thrown in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He got to just get over there and get in the weeds with him. But he's not, and she doesn't know what to do.

Because he's like, whey. Well, if she's disgusting with him, he gets mad. You go sit that thing in his lap and walk away. That's what you do. You're going to have a third person intercede here. I was kind of thinking, that's tough. No, no. No, serious.

Yeah, why is he mad? he helped make it. Yeah. You need to earn up, you know, stepped up to the plate there. Hey, you know what happened to me yesterday? Jackson was in his little chair. I heard him over there. He got a certain sound he makes when he poops.

So I knew it was there. So I go and I grab him once he's calmed down. I'm like, all right, I think he's done. I get him. No, he wasn't done. We just getting started. We just getting started. I picked them legs.

up and put him in kind of a poop position to wipe his bottom. And then here come the rest of it. You just made room. Yeah. You helped him out. Oh, it was fine. Well, no, no. But what I'm saying is, like, my man, turn this podcast on.

There ain't nothing wrong with changing a diaper. There ain't nothing wrong with changing clothes. There ain't nothing wrong with helping you woman out. You think it's something? You think it's something? Get you two of them. Get you two of them. I'll say this, whenever our third one came along,

all different ages, which is easier than twins, I would get home and I was the dish man every night. Oh. And Allison didn't, Alston's stay at home. Look, man. But these kids are five months old now. There's a reason you can't make a kid by yourself. Yeah.

Because it takes both of you. Shout out to all the single parents out there. Amen. I don't know. Unbelievable. I wouldn't be. Unreal. But look, these kids are five months old.

I can guarantee you since I'm helping. they've been born. Me and Brittany slept in the same bed maybe five times, maybe five times since they've been born. Because at nighttime, I just take all the nighttime stuff. Like, I let her go to bed. She's been with them most of the day. And so I take all the night and the first thing in the morning, then I get in the shower

and I go to work. And then she's got them. Have you done the dishes, any at all? Absolutely. Every time. Every night, the last thing I do is turn that dishwasher on on sanitize because it's full of baby bottles, the bowls. the bowls they're eating out of and everything else.

That's the last thing I do is load the dishwasher before I go get in the bed. Like, so my man, freaking grow up, bro. Be a dad, be a father. Here's something okay, but I got it in this guy's defense, I don't know. I cannot change diapers.

That's fine. There's a lot of other things you can do that don't involve changing a diaper. That's what I'm saying, okay, in his defense, okay, because I could not change diapers. If I did, I would make more, more trouble than it's worse.

And that's fine. That's cool. But you can wash the dishes. You can change the clothes. You can feed them. Yeah, you can do other things. You can do a hundred other things. Because I've done a lot of other stuff when she made it rare.

Yeah. I took the kids and we done whatever we had to do. Absolutely. 100%. I will say if we were to ask him, he would probably give a different side to the He would say, well, I do this, this and this and this. She needs to write in my note and put it in the bathroom and let him know. Yeah.

What she don't like. I kind of like size idea here. I think he's got to have a man he respects. Well, no, I have someone a third party and say, and just what we're saying, hey, dude,

you got to give you wife some help. Because if not, homie, she's going to find somebody to will. She may find somebody that will. That's true. Okay, because if she feels like she's carrying the whole load,

okay, what she needs you for. Amen, buddy. Yeah, I mean, I'm just being honest. Like he's making any love deposits. If she's making withdrawals. With drugs. Like she's by herself with all this.

Yeah. So, hey, yeah, you know, to save your marriage, you better step up and become a dad like Martin said. Yeah, be a freaking man, man. Okay. You ain't got to do it all. You don't have to do at all, but the things that you can do, you need to do.

You got to help. Yeah. And I'll be that third person. You turn this thing for him on and listen to it. I don't care. Be a man. That's fine. Being a man ain't what it used to be.

Go ahead. Here's her side of the story. We'd love to hear your side of the story. Yeah, bring it. I'd love to hear the email next week. But if it don't come with a selfie of you changing at least seven diapers, I don't want to hear it. I change diapers for. You need to help your woman out.

Eight years. Hey, that's your partner. Because look, that woman went through a lot bearing this child. For her to actually say something, it's bad. Make it. It took both of you to make this child. So, hey, you need to split the responsibility of caring for it. As the resident video game player in the duck call room, bro.

There's hours from like, they go to bed pretty early. Mine do. If I wanted to play video games. If your wife is changing diapers and washing dishes and cooking dinner, and you are looking at a TV screen, my man. Yeah. I got questions because I'm better than you at whatever video game you're playing, and I'm still doing all the other stuff.

at cooking dinner, man, I miss those days. Cooking dinner, I'm yawning. When you got twins, buddy. Dinner. No, you just eat various times of cold things and call it good. Eating is no longer fun right now. It's not? It's just something you do.

My wife has said there was never anything sexier than whenever I was washing dishes too. Just throw that out there. It helps. No, no, no. You have twins, they don't even look at you, but in my eyes no more. Watching dishes. Going back. If you wash dishes, it don't mean it has nothing to.

do with your manhood? Absolutely. Okay. There's a machine that does it for you. Yeah, this isn't 1922. You ain't scrubbing. You spray it, put it in there, press start. Rinse it off, throw it in, and let her rip, tater chip.

Let her rip, tattered chip. You're ready for the birth? Ask your partner, you're talking about Tair. Taking care of. And if you don't want to do that, my man, they make lots of paper goods. Go get them and throw them in the trash. Find people of paper mills everywhere need to work, too. We got, whenever I started doing the dishes in the lot, we got so many paper plates.

Yeah. Throw that crap away. Yes, throwing the garbage. Ain't nothing wrong with that. But bottles. Sorry, Martin. 14 a day, baby. Oh, my.

I just got tired. These more, you'll do some... 14 a day. All right. I'm calling it back to the beginning when Si was talking about inconceivable, can't even fathom. Because a lot of times people like to be right or wrong about things concerning our Lord. And I like what you said. I mean, I don't know.

And I see one thing and we're all like, we don't know. And one day we're going to be like, wow. And then we're going to be like, man, I was wrong about a couple of things. But one of my favorite verses, I've probably done this one recently. But John 21, 25, very last verse that John writes in the gospel of John, Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

We can't even fathom. him what he did on this earth. The dude that was with him was like, I can't even write all this down. So. You got enough room. But there's nothing wrong with exploring. All right. We'll see y'all next time right here in a duck call room.

We're out. I'm out.